WEBVTT 00:03.575 --> 00:05.156 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to homemade sushi podcast. 00:05.277 --> 00:09.160 [SPEAKER_00]: We are rescuing the art of filmmaking from the daily grind. 00:09.680 --> 00:11.382 [SPEAKER_00]: Redlets, no denim numbers. 00:11.562 --> 00:14.305 [SPEAKER_00]: Did you guys see our new logo on this product? 00:15.085 --> 00:16.527 [SPEAKER_00]: Apple and everything? 00:16.547 --> 00:22.072 [SPEAKER_00]: No, we didn't see each other, but we took some pictures and we have some fresh faces. 00:22.612 --> 00:24.934 [SPEAKER_02]: Those pictures were so old. 00:25.495 --> 00:28.457 [SPEAKER_02]: I sometimes like to use old pictures, because I'm like, yeah, that's what I look like. 00:29.178 --> 00:30.840 [SPEAKER_02]: Right, seven years? 00:31.520 --> 00:33.582 [SPEAKER_02]: That's nothing. 00:33.562 --> 00:36.466 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, you look pretty in green today. 00:36.506 --> 00:37.828 [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you. 00:37.848 --> 00:39.710 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm hiding my workout close underneath. 00:39.770 --> 00:41.112 [SPEAKER_02]: I've had. 00:41.132 --> 00:43.194 [SPEAKER_02]: No, it's not hiding them. 00:43.255 --> 00:44.016 [SPEAKER_02]: I am hiding them. 00:44.356 --> 00:45.858 [SPEAKER_02]: I've been all my flesh dance glory here. 00:46.439 --> 00:48.561 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I have just had a heck of a week. 00:48.601 --> 00:49.423 [SPEAKER_02]: I got the plague. 00:49.523 --> 00:51.365 [SPEAKER_02]: My family had the plague last week, if you remember. 00:51.385 --> 00:52.887 [SPEAKER_02]: I got the plague this week. 00:54.069 --> 00:57.493 [SPEAKER_02]: And just felt awful. 00:57.946 --> 01:14.031 [SPEAKER_02]: Just felt awful and so I hate that too because I do work out with a tonal and it'll be like, hey girl, I was seeing you in a few days, hey girl, don't lose your weak streak, can you're like, I'm in bed sick tonal, can we pause? 01:14.011 --> 01:33.420 [SPEAKER_00]: When you get the notification, yes, and it's, you know, I'm like an anti notification person and I'm, I just always think I'm sorry to not give you permission to harass me on my day off listen, you know, like I have a program I do and at the beginning of to pick which days you're going to follow the program. 01:35.543 --> 01:36.724 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't care what's just to do this. 01:36.744 --> 01:37.725 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll work out when I feel like it. 01:38.025 --> 01:40.908 [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, so those, like, it'll go off on Sunday. 01:40.988 --> 01:43.350 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, no, no, no, right. 01:43.590 --> 01:44.611 [SPEAKER_00]: No, like stay on Sunday. 01:44.972 --> 01:45.172 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 01:45.372 --> 01:46.893 [SPEAKER_02]: Don't make no likes stay on Sunday. 01:46.954 --> 01:47.514 [SPEAKER_02]: That's right. 01:48.235 --> 01:49.276 [SPEAKER_02]: That's just a thing. 01:49.556 --> 01:54.881 [SPEAKER_02]: It's, um, I wish my only, my only complaint. 01:54.901 --> 01:59.765 [SPEAKER_02]: And I've had my tunnel for six years is that I wish there was like, hey, I'm going on vacation. 01:59.865 --> 02:02.648 [SPEAKER_02]: Can we not lose my weak streak? 02:02.898 --> 02:03.700 [SPEAKER_02]: I get miss. 02:03.720 --> 02:04.722 [SPEAKER_02]: I'll do full way bodies. 02:04.782 --> 02:12.698 [SPEAKER_02]: I can't take my tunnel with me, please don't shave me, but two million pounds yet. 02:13.179 --> 02:16.806 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm on one million nine hundred and fifty thousand. 02:17.022 --> 02:17.603 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 02:17.623 --> 02:20.046 [SPEAKER_00]: See, I was a slacker for like a year. 02:20.106 --> 02:24.252 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think even though I got mine before you did, you've caught up to me. 02:24.292 --> 02:25.353 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm at like 1.8. 02:26.334 --> 02:26.575 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 02:27.796 --> 02:29.218 [SPEAKER_02]: I can't really close. 02:29.899 --> 02:31.161 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm really close. 02:31.722 --> 02:36.288 [SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, I'm going to get back to it today as soon as we're done recording today. 02:36.308 --> 02:37.930 [SPEAKER_02]: I've got my workout close on underneath. 02:38.310 --> 02:43.317 [SPEAKER_02]: My pastor always says, do the thing you want to do the least first. 02:44.950 --> 02:47.133 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's good advice. 02:47.974 --> 02:55.305 [SPEAKER_02]: So you know those days when you get up and you're like, man, there's quite a few things on this list that I'm not super, super excited about. 02:56.506 --> 02:56.607 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 02:56.627 --> 03:02.755 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, as much as we love our work, you and I, work is still work. 03:03.116 --> 03:13.911 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's kind of this myth that people have about work is that it's some great calling and some great meaning and find something you love and you'll never work a day in your life. 03:15.157 --> 03:16.340 [SPEAKER_02]: Have you ever had a job? 03:17.163 --> 03:17.404 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 03:20.252 --> 03:22.157 [SPEAKER_00]: That's why I'm surprised you can work out in the afternoon. 03:22.719 --> 03:24.103 [SPEAKER_00]: I got to get it out of the way. 03:26.007 --> 03:27.469 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I don't love working out. 03:27.689 --> 03:35.700 [SPEAKER_00]: This is that it is like, I don't ever just say, like, hey, you know, yeah, I like it 15 minutes in. 03:35.760 --> 03:40.085 [SPEAKER_02]: One of my, you know, no, no, I have a lot of time in the morning. 03:40.206 --> 03:41.928 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't, I actually, I like working out. 03:41.988 --> 03:43.229 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't like doing Bulgarians. 03:43.270 --> 03:47.535 [SPEAKER_02]: We've well established that it's one of my only kind of quiet times. 03:47.575 --> 03:52.842 [SPEAKER_02]: People generally leave me alone because if they come in, like mid-squat, I'm like that. 03:54.509 --> 03:58.193 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, no, no, no, no. 03:58.213 --> 03:58.413 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 03:59.014 --> 04:08.505 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's just when I feel best doing it, but you know, knocking a bunch of stuff off your to-do list and then getting to quote, treat yourself with a workout. 04:09.546 --> 04:12.950 [SPEAKER_02]: I really do feel like a workout is a gift. 04:13.470 --> 04:19.918 [SPEAKER_02]: Every time I work out like, man, thank you, body, for being able to do this, for being able to do this. 04:19.938 --> 04:20.758 [SPEAKER_02]: It's amazing. 04:20.779 --> 04:22.120 [SPEAKER_02]: And when you're sick, 04:23.753 --> 04:25.579 [SPEAKER_00]: You, that sort of drives at home. 04:25.920 --> 04:26.462 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, big time. 04:27.746 --> 04:29.673 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I established this past week. 04:29.713 --> 04:34.489 [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, look, if I get some like long terminal illness, 04:35.380 --> 04:40.606 [SPEAKER_02]: This is going to be bad because I had like one day and Stu's like how are you? 04:40.626 --> 04:42.148 [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, I think I've been poisoned. 04:42.688 --> 04:56.384 [SPEAKER_02]: I feel so awful and I just thought about all the people who for some of them for decades just live with real and grossed physical pain. 04:57.545 --> 04:59.447 [SPEAKER_02]: And man, I just 05:01.300 --> 05:04.583 [SPEAKER_02]: What a difficult burden to bear, truly, right? 05:04.763 --> 05:06.825 [SPEAKER_02]: Physical burdens, you know, wow. 05:07.866 --> 05:12.631 [SPEAKER_02]: burdens in general, you know, emotional ones are heavy oftentimes they manifest physically. 05:12.651 --> 05:15.914 [SPEAKER_02]: But it is one of those things. 05:16.194 --> 05:23.361 [SPEAKER_02]: I think I wrote about this on Substack and somebody commented, it said, a healthy person has many troubles, a sick man has one. 05:24.562 --> 05:29.367 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's so true because when you feel and you don't have your vitality, 05:30.967 --> 05:32.029 [SPEAKER_02]: That's all you're thinking about. 05:32.470 --> 05:33.732 [SPEAKER_02]: It's all consuming for sure. 05:34.934 --> 05:36.597 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's all consuming. 05:37.078 --> 05:39.382 [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm glad to be on the mend. 05:39.422 --> 05:40.103 [SPEAKER_02]: I feel that better. 05:40.123 --> 05:41.666 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry that I don't sound better. 05:41.806 --> 05:46.775 [SPEAKER_02]: I know it's obnoxious to listen to stuffy people, but here we are. 05:47.537 --> 05:48.118 [SPEAKER_02]: Here we are. 05:48.218 --> 05:50.582 [SPEAKER_02]: Andils going to Paris, so we got a record when we can. 05:50.622 --> 05:53.447 [SPEAKER_02]: It's absolutely how we do it. 05:54.288 --> 05:56.251 [SPEAKER_00]: more weeks, two more weeks. 05:57.652 --> 06:00.336 [SPEAKER_00]: I have some new people and some returns. 06:00.416 --> 06:04.441 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm looking forward to seeing the returns, obviously, but I'm keen to make these new people. 06:07.004 --> 06:07.926 [SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be real fun. 06:08.466 --> 06:13.833 [SPEAKER_02]: Our Italy trip is shaping up in quite a funny way, because my parents are coming with us. 06:13.853 --> 06:17.578 [SPEAKER_02]: They've 06:17.558 --> 06:25.306 [SPEAKER_02]: So this will be their first European adventure by far their longest adventure and their longest away from home ever. 06:26.127 --> 06:29.110 [SPEAKER_02]: So they're they're going for a lot of firsts this time. 06:29.810 --> 06:40.661 [SPEAKER_02]: We're going a week early to to show them this this region and then our guests come for a week and then we're staying on a week after as well. 06:41.322 --> 06:47.548 [SPEAKER_02]: Well the way that so my parents will be there for with us for the whole time 06:47.933 --> 06:49.016 [SPEAKER_02]: the group when they come. 06:49.036 --> 06:51.281 [SPEAKER_02]: That's why my parents are coming to hang out with the kids. 06:52.384 --> 06:53.808 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's a safe and quiet village. 06:53.848 --> 06:54.850 [SPEAKER_02]: So they'll be fine. 06:54.870 --> 06:56.214 [SPEAKER_02]: The kids can romp around all day. 06:56.294 --> 07:03.512 [SPEAKER_02]: But stew's mom and his father wait. 07:04.792 --> 07:07.695 [SPEAKER_02]: Stepdad, his stepdad, my phone. 07:07.716 --> 07:10.559 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, his stepdad and his mom are coming as guests on the trip. 07:11.480 --> 07:12.461 [SPEAKER_02]: So they will be there. 07:12.501 --> 07:16.546 [SPEAKER_02]: And then my brother and law decided to fly in for the third week to come hang out with us. 07:17.167 --> 07:22.754 [SPEAKER_02]: Also, like, and it just made me feel so, so incredibly grateful for you. 07:22.774 --> 07:28.921 [SPEAKER_02]: Like all these people are coming to this place to this village, simply because I'm obsessed. 07:30.283 --> 07:31.164 [SPEAKER_02]: And they're all coming. 07:31.424 --> 07:32.525 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a little about a support. 07:32.585 --> 07:33.887 [SPEAKER_02]: It's really sweet. 07:33.952 --> 07:35.453 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's lovely for you. 07:35.614 --> 07:42.921 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, when I got to sheriffs with my mom and my sister, it was like, now you know what I've been, yeah, came about over 20 years. 07:43.021 --> 07:47.846 [SPEAKER_00]: And even if it doesn't hate them in the same way, which they'll have a point of connection. 07:47.866 --> 07:49.047 [SPEAKER_02]: They'll have a point of connection. 07:49.067 --> 07:51.109 [SPEAKER_02]: They'll be like, at least I know what you're talking about. 07:52.190 --> 07:55.053 [SPEAKER_02]: Even if I don't feel that same kind of pull. 07:55.373 --> 07:59.157 [SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, we're going to talk you. 07:59.437 --> 08:00.398 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, go. 08:00.665 --> 08:18.167 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so today we're going to look at, you know, the season is emotionally imperfect what that we are the season is all the all the imperfect all the imperfect and perfectly chic so today. 08:19.531 --> 08:24.663 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we've, we've each been writing about like this Evan flow of life on our sub-stacks. 08:24.683 --> 08:35.127 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's look at today like the life we thought we had versus the one we're actually living because I know homemakers. 08:35.107 --> 08:36.970 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't I don't think we talk about it enough. 08:37.010 --> 08:40.836 [SPEAKER_00]: I think we feel like we have to have such an attitude of gratitude. 08:40.856 --> 08:46.966 [SPEAKER_00]: I guess that we're not allowed to express like, hey, I thought X, Y, C was going to happen. 08:47.767 --> 08:49.130 [SPEAKER_00]: Like we're not allowed to say it. 08:50.311 --> 08:56.521 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I know we have listeners that thought they'd never have a miscarriage. 08:56.822 --> 09:01.249 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know we have listeners that thought they'd be more settled or that 09:01.229 --> 09:12.042 [SPEAKER_00]: by some certain stage in the timeline they would feel more certain or more comfortable in their own skin or more adult or more adult. 09:12.142 --> 09:21.634 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like what would I have this figured out if a 38 or whatever, you know, big time. 09:22.559 --> 09:23.460 [SPEAKER_02]: let's go into that. 09:24.261 --> 09:25.683 [SPEAKER_02]: Let's go into that. 09:26.464 --> 09:29.127 [SPEAKER_02]: There's some really good stuff there and a lot we've been pondering lately. 09:29.187 --> 09:31.289 [SPEAKER_02]: So let's say thanks to our sponsors before we do that. 09:32.931 --> 09:49.410 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so you can visit tubes and co.com forward slash hmc to shop, tubes and co skin care and make up 25% off is what they're offering homemaker sheet listeners for first-time customers. 09:49.390 --> 09:50.952 [SPEAKER_02]: I love this company so much. 09:51.674 --> 09:53.917 [SPEAKER_02]: I just reordered the glow serum. 09:54.979 --> 09:58.544 [SPEAKER_02]: The C buckthorn cleansing oil, which you know, I love. 09:58.564 --> 10:02.410 [SPEAKER_02]: It's the best makeup remover on this. 10:02.430 --> 10:03.412 [SPEAKER_02]: The vitamin C serum. 10:03.472 --> 10:06.657 [SPEAKER_02]: If anything is like moist, didn't serum me. 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some of these transparent ingredients, things without mystery chemicals, because we're realizing the toxic load that our skin is taking in. 10:58.941 --> 11:00.463 [SPEAKER_02]: So you can shop tubes and co. 11:00.483 --> 11:05.632 [SPEAKER_02]: This is where you can go for your non toxic makeup from foundations to mask garrows to skin care. 11:06.032 --> 11:09.398 [SPEAKER_02]: Use the code HMC for 25% off. 11:10.390 --> 11:10.851 [SPEAKER_02]: be honest. 11:12.835 --> 11:19.029 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, we just got, you know, four feet of snow as I just thought, just a matter we do and here was constant. 11:19.510 --> 11:23.959 [SPEAKER_00]: I always trapped this with last week's YouTube was about just being stranded. 11:24.360 --> 11:26.465 [SPEAKER_00]: So we were trapped from Saturday to Wednesday. 11:26.625 --> 11:27.066 [SPEAKER_00]: Couldn't leave. 11:28.430 --> 11:29.131 [SPEAKER_00]: couldn't leave the house. 11:29.812 --> 11:37.620 [SPEAKER_00]: All that to say is I had spring fever on the brain, and then we got this snow day lose. 11:37.700 --> 11:44.648 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you have spring fever on the brain and you're looking to refresh your home, I think one of the best ways to do that is with new bedding. 11:45.109 --> 11:52.838 [SPEAKER_00]: And you can visit americanblossom women's.com and use the code homemaker 2026 for 15% off your order. 11:53.358 --> 11:54.960 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you need new pillows, 11:54.940 --> 11:56.002 [SPEAKER_00]: You need new sheets. 11:56.062 --> 11:59.830 [SPEAKER_00]: You need some fresh new washcloths that haven't subbed as a cleaning right. 12:00.030 --> 12:00.872 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh. 12:01.393 --> 12:02.335 [SPEAKER_00]: I hate that right. 12:02.876 --> 12:05.040 [SPEAKER_00]: You need to freshen up the whole linen closet. 12:05.160 --> 12:05.962 [SPEAKER_00]: You can do that. 12:06.323 --> 12:10.671 [SPEAKER_00]: Their cotton is grown in West Texas and everything they have. 12:10.812 --> 12:13.978 [SPEAKER_00]: Everything you see on their website is made right here in the Indian States. 12:13.958 --> 12:15.920 [SPEAKER_00]: And finally, plus, oh, good. 12:16.661 --> 12:20.886 [SPEAKER_00]: Visit a certain lesson when it's dot com and use the code, homemaker 2026 to help. 12:22.549 --> 12:24.951 [SPEAKER_02]: My brain has been disconnected from my head these past few days. 12:24.992 --> 12:27.895 [SPEAKER_02]: I've been making all kinds of hilarious mistakes. 12:27.975 --> 12:35.224 [SPEAKER_02]: Finally, you can visit branchbasics.com forward slash homemaker chic to say 15% off your starter kit with branchbasics. 12:35.204 --> 12:45.855 [SPEAKER_02]: This is one cleaning concentrate that's completely non-taxic, completely eyeball or done it, completely free of fragrances and hormone disruptors and preservatives. 12:46.015 --> 12:50.059 [SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, it's just one of those things, you can find a lot of freedom. 12:50.719 --> 13:04.553 [SPEAKER_02]: When you can have this cleaner concentrate under your bathroom sink or under your kitchen sink or in your laundry room, I actually have a bottle in all of those places, you can use it for everything and you just don't have to worry, especially if you have little kids. 13:04.533 --> 13:06.637 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I remember like comment. 13:07.218 --> 13:16.814 [SPEAKER_02]: You remember comment like the scrub one, just like strong powder and I remember by my I could say as you dumped it out, so it didn't go up in your totally. 13:16.874 --> 13:19.318 [SPEAKER_02]: And I remember the mystery of stickers. 13:20.581 --> 13:21.744 [SPEAKER_02]: This was like a 90's thing. 13:21.764 --> 13:29.547 [SPEAKER_02]: It was like this neon green gross, yeah, Mr. Yuck, and you would put him on all the chemicals. 13:29.588 --> 13:34.843 [SPEAKER_02]: So the kids could just see the Mr. Yuck sticker and be like, oh, that's toxic stay away from that. 13:36.005 --> 13:36.646 [SPEAKER_02]: Do you remember this? 13:37.287 --> 13:38.589 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you're come on people. 13:38.609 --> 13:39.992 [SPEAKER_00]: Muse and ex-gooper. 13:40.012 --> 13:41.915 [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, anyway, it was a real thing. 13:41.955 --> 13:43.638 [SPEAKER_02]: You don't have to do that with branch basics. 13:43.658 --> 13:47.184 [SPEAKER_02]: It's so clean, so cost effective, and so effective. 13:47.244 --> 13:56.680 [SPEAKER_02]: So branchbasics.com forward slash homemaker sheet is where you can go to get that cleaner concentrate and all the bottles to clean your home in a non-toxic way. 13:58.111 --> 14:02.898 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, okay, so in this conversation, I don't want to be dramatic and it's okay, no dramatic. 14:02.918 --> 14:13.935 [SPEAKER_00]: I certainly have like this huge list right, but I think it's I think I can't imagine that it's that I'm alone. 14:14.396 --> 14:18.702 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and that like rolling over in the middle of the night or. 14:19.863 --> 14:28.372 [SPEAKER_00]: on your walks or when you start kind of just roominating on things, we all deal with a little bit of disappointment every day. 14:28.432 --> 14:40.484 [SPEAKER_00]: OK, that for Todd, I didn't come out the way I expected on the small scale to like, hey, my kid is really struggling right now, and I think that for thought, we'd be crossing this bridge. 14:40.584 --> 14:46.410 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think we need to give some, 14:48.432 --> 14:59.642 [SPEAKER_00]: to like being able to just like grieve those little moments and not guilty about admitting like this is actually I feel disappointed. 15:00.983 --> 15:02.885 [SPEAKER_02]: So we talked a few weeks ago about feeling bored. 15:02.905 --> 15:09.631 [SPEAKER_02]: There's a great analogy is not maybe the right word. 15:10.112 --> 15:11.193 [SPEAKER_02]: See my brains are locking. 15:11.213 --> 15:17.258 [SPEAKER_02]: No imagery like a great image that I think about sometimes is somebody once told me 15:17.744 --> 15:27.268 [SPEAKER_02]: Imagine just kind of like walking along and a bird kind of comes and like pulls at your hair, okay, and you just sort of like swap the bird away, get away from here. 15:27.308 --> 15:31.018 [SPEAKER_02]: That's to me kind of what these thoughts are. 15:31.058 --> 15:32.682 [SPEAKER_02]: They're real. 15:34.349 --> 15:40.236 [SPEAKER_02]: You're allowed to have a reaction to them, but you don't let the bird make a nest in your hair. 15:41.037 --> 15:41.257 [SPEAKER_02]: Sure. 15:41.537 --> 15:44.161 [SPEAKER_02]: You don't just sit with boredom. 15:44.181 --> 15:52.831 [SPEAKER_02]: You don't just sit with disappointment because we all know that's an incredibly unhealthy place to to live. 15:53.932 --> 16:00.660 [SPEAKER_02]: But that being said, emotions are what we feel. 16:01.332 --> 16:10.248 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, we have them and so you have to acknowledge them and you kind of just have to say, okay, yes, yes, thank you, Mr. Bird. 16:10.389 --> 16:13.554 [SPEAKER_02]: I carry on, right? 16:13.855 --> 16:18.303 [SPEAKER_02]: Because at the end of the day, this is our life. 16:18.323 --> 16:19.245 [SPEAKER_02]: And so I think you're right. 16:19.285 --> 16:23.172 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's absolutely normal to feel disappointed. 16:23.894 --> 16:28.562 [SPEAKER_02]: when we have an idea in our minds of what we want that to look like. 16:29.203 --> 16:33.570 [SPEAKER_02]: And the Lord's idea for us is just so much different than we thought it would be. 16:34.932 --> 16:41.943 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think, as far as morning, when it whether it's like, you could tap in it. 16:42.064 --> 16:43.666 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, that is what disappointments. 16:43.786 --> 16:47.072 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like a morning, sometimes it's a misunderstanding. 16:47.713 --> 16:50.998 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's a prolonged morning, yes. 16:52.396 --> 17:16.277 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's good, it can be good, but I mean, good to remember that, you know, we can kind of conjure up like the way we want a season and life to go or the way we want life on the whole to go or whatever, but, and then we more and that, but if it wasn't really ours to more and to begin with. 17:17.827 --> 17:22.853 [SPEAKER_02]: So we've also, you and I have said for years, my friend Kate gave me this saying years ago. 17:22.913 --> 17:24.856 [SPEAKER_02]: God doesn't give you grace for your imagination. 17:27.659 --> 17:29.522 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, have you ever said that? 17:29.542 --> 17:30.343 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, I have. 17:30.943 --> 17:31.965 [SPEAKER_02]: Many, too, I'm sorry. 17:31.985 --> 17:33.246 [SPEAKER_02]: She told me this when I was pregnant. 17:33.286 --> 17:35.629 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, and said, I've carried this one with me for a long time. 17:35.669 --> 17:37.592 [SPEAKER_02]: God doesn't give us grace for our imagination. 17:37.672 --> 17:41.497 [SPEAKER_02]: So you know when you're awake in the middle of the night and you're like, what if my whole family doesn't have car accident? 17:41.837 --> 17:46.703 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, these horrible, like, mid-night thoughts. 17:47.712 --> 18:00.233 [SPEAKER_02]: God doesn't give you crit, that's somebody's actual reality today and you're using up grace, that's not yours, because that hasn't happened to you yet. 18:01.656 --> 18:03.679 [SPEAKER_02]: And in kind of a flip floppy way. 18:04.908 --> 18:06.410 [SPEAKER_02]: That's kind of what this is getting at. 18:07.091 --> 18:09.235 [SPEAKER_02]: We have this idea of how things are going to go. 18:09.835 --> 18:10.917 [SPEAKER_02]: They don't go that way. 18:10.937 --> 18:12.780 [SPEAKER_02]: We get upset and we mourn. 18:12.820 --> 18:17.567 [SPEAKER_02]: This invisible little grief of unmet expectations. 18:18.048 --> 18:18.248 [SPEAKER_02]: Sure. 18:20.151 --> 18:22.054 [SPEAKER_02]: But that was never our life to begin with. 18:23.316 --> 18:25.259 [SPEAKER_02]: That wasn't actually our life. 18:26.861 --> 18:33.531 [SPEAKER_02]: So can you remember the first time you felt this way, 18:35.283 --> 18:41.591 [SPEAKER_02]: I remember my kids getting to the point where I like could it control them so much any more? 18:42.432 --> 18:44.655 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, maybe not as a homie. 18:44.675 --> 18:51.925 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, as a mother, the day you realize, oh, you're your own person. 18:52.786 --> 18:54.748 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're actually going to disappoint me. 18:58.153 --> 18:58.253 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 18:59.802 --> 19:03.808 [SPEAKER_00]: This is going to be challenging, like, you know, you try so hard as a new mother. 19:03.848 --> 19:06.011 [SPEAKER_00]: You're like, I'm going to do X, Y, Z different. 19:06.612 --> 19:08.675 [SPEAKER_00]: And my mom did, or then I see people doing. 19:08.715 --> 19:11.959 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to, like, circumvent all that. 19:13.762 --> 19:17.527 [SPEAKER_00]: And then you have the first run-in, or the first tantrum even where you're in a story. 19:17.548 --> 19:20.372 [SPEAKER_00]: You're like, ah, this is embarrassing. 19:20.572 --> 19:21.373 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, whatever it is. 19:22.555 --> 19:24.037 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 19:24.077 --> 19:29.725 [SPEAKER_00]: And that I think even I guess mom coming to terms with, 19:30.886 --> 19:31.667 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. 19:31.687 --> 19:34.110 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I even, I don't even do this. 19:34.130 --> 19:35.732 [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't had this feeling. 19:35.772 --> 19:38.555 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I work through this feeling? 19:38.575 --> 19:39.657 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I remember that. 19:39.697 --> 19:40.378 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember that. 19:40.758 --> 19:41.499 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. 19:41.519 --> 19:43.481 [SPEAKER_00]: Please, Dahl, I wanted you to be different. 19:45.424 --> 19:46.886 [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted you to be thinless. 19:47.226 --> 19:50.970 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought if I tried really hard, I could be the one caring. 19:51.111 --> 19:54.515 [SPEAKER_02]: The system, yeah, funny how that works. 19:54.895 --> 19:56.337 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah. 19:58.038 --> 20:03.984 [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes, I think about how the Lord must see us when he's just like, man, I wanted you to be different. 20:05.085 --> 20:06.366 [SPEAKER_02]: We've talked about this. 20:06.386 --> 20:08.708 [SPEAKER_02]: Do you remember what happened last time? 20:09.829 --> 20:11.851 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my gosh. 20:11.871 --> 20:16.956 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, oh, wait, you mean, you mean, you know, our actual living is open. 20:20.479 --> 20:21.380 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's good. 20:22.081 --> 20:23.682 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, okay, let's think about this. 20:23.722 --> 20:25.564 [SPEAKER_02]: Is it good? 20:25.814 --> 20:38.910 [SPEAKER_02]: to have expectations, I think so. 20:38.930 --> 20:42.815 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 20:43.095 --> 20:51.906 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll let me just speak to myself like I am an 20:53.287 --> 21:12.292 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to say like something new agey like that's how I realize things but like I envision things and and kind of like imagine the whole process whether it's motherhood or whatever or a new idea for my job or my garden or whatever. 21:12.332 --> 21:15.717 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think that that's good. 21:16.793 --> 21:19.617 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I have an expectation of how that will come out. 21:20.137 --> 21:23.542 [SPEAKER_00]: I think the expectation needs to be helped loosely. 21:23.562 --> 21:26.806 [SPEAKER_00]: Not tight-fisted. 21:28.568 --> 21:32.313 [SPEAKER_02]: I can think about, I'm the same way. 21:32.573 --> 21:33.595 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a visualizer. 21:33.975 --> 21:37.920 [SPEAKER_02]: Not as in like a new action manifesto, no, no, no. 21:37.960 --> 21:45.450 [SPEAKER_02]: But before we hot this farm and our family, I had it in my mind's eye. 21:46.612 --> 22:03.831 [SPEAKER_02]: what I wanted it to feel like, what I wanted it to be like and we spent so many years building this and many of the pieces we were able to to build and to achieve. 22:03.871 --> 22:09.497 [SPEAKER_02]: It was so much harder that I think we both realized it would be and that it carried so many more disappointments. 22:10.258 --> 22:14.442 [SPEAKER_02]: Then I think 22:15.535 --> 22:21.603 [SPEAKER_02]: But I also think that's necessary because who would do anything if they know how hard it would actually be? 22:21.943 --> 22:22.705 [SPEAKER_02]: Who would get married? 22:23.065 --> 22:23.866 [SPEAKER_02]: Who would have children? 22:24.367 --> 22:25.508 [SPEAKER_02]: Who would be an entrepreneur? 22:25.568 --> 22:27.591 [SPEAKER_02]: Who would own a home? 22:27.931 --> 22:28.773 [SPEAKER_02]: Who would have a garden? 22:29.494 --> 22:31.736 [SPEAKER_02]: Like right, we wouldn't do any of these things. 22:31.817 --> 22:39.687 [SPEAKER_02]: If we didn't have maybe slightly unrealistic expectations. 22:41.472 --> 22:50.802 [SPEAKER_02]: I think what I was unprepared for is how fast that pocket of time would be consumed. 22:53.185 --> 23:01.934 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, it just feels like we worked so hard to give our kids this home to build this. 23:02.134 --> 23:03.576 [SPEAKER_02]: Like we talked about this a few weeks ago. 23:05.117 --> 23:07.480 [SPEAKER_02]: And now all of a sudden it's like we're facing 23:09.164 --> 23:13.850 [SPEAKER_02]: like Georgia leaving, you know, she wants Georgia's just insanely independent. 23:14.451 --> 23:16.814 [SPEAKER_02]: She wants a study abroad her senior year, of course she does. 23:17.595 --> 23:18.616 [SPEAKER_02]: And Italy of course she does. 23:19.978 --> 23:27.969 [SPEAKER_02]: I will come with you, but you know, it's it's just always just this this kind of weird situation. 23:28.690 --> 23:36.640 [SPEAKER_02]: But I think we need, I think we need 23:38.138 --> 23:40.181 [SPEAKER_02]: hope we need expectations. 23:40.642 --> 23:41.744 [SPEAKER_02]: We need dreams. 23:42.665 --> 23:42.885 [SPEAKER_02]: Sure. 23:43.486 --> 23:51.358 [SPEAKER_02]: We need to be able to hope for these kinds of things in order to function in life. 23:53.181 --> 23:53.562 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah. 23:53.702 --> 23:55.845 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's that's also creativity too. 23:55.865 --> 24:05.260 [SPEAKER_00]: And then that is S. And I tell you, I think that also prepares you 24:06.505 --> 24:08.248 [SPEAKER_00]: the next chapter or two. 24:09.049 --> 24:15.438 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so you have in your notes here, the identity hang over number four. 24:16.440 --> 24:18.743 [SPEAKER_02]: When you outgrow who you used to be. 24:18.763 --> 24:22.950 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I don't know if that was skipped out. 24:22.970 --> 24:23.671 [SPEAKER_02]: His number four. 24:23.731 --> 24:27.096 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, well done. 24:27.565 --> 24:46.620 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, I think this is, this is actually a part of what a lot of people feel at various points in their life, um, because they're not who they used to be my hope listener that you're not who you used to be even five years ago. 24:47.714 --> 24:50.518 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, 20 years ago. 24:50.578 --> 25:01.454 [SPEAKER_02]: And before you know, these years kind of like they start to build on each other, you know, yeah, they build and you have to have like a foot in both pots. 25:02.316 --> 25:09.567 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, so I think like for you and I like let's just use you and I as an example, we I have one that's left. 25:09.587 --> 25:10.768 [SPEAKER_00]: I have another one on the way out. 25:10.808 --> 25:13.232 [SPEAKER_00]: You're already thinking about Georgia leading. 25:13.837 --> 25:21.725 [SPEAKER_00]: It's so easy to like look at the next chapter and your expectations for that in the mystery of that and forget like I have 10 year old. 25:22.446 --> 25:27.772 [SPEAKER_00]: Chum actually still actively in this stage that I think I'm morning. 25:30.675 --> 25:31.796 [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm actually in it. 25:31.816 --> 25:39.945 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't detach too much because I'm still in it and that little one deserves me to be in it to win it, you know, I'm not a person like in both. 25:40.398 --> 25:42.681 [SPEAKER_02]: That's a good point, and that's a good point. 25:42.701 --> 25:44.364 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's exactly where we are right now. 25:44.504 --> 25:56.741 [SPEAKER_02]: I know we have people listening from various stages, but, you know, stew's primary job in our little family ecosystem is to make sure that the kids' education is completely taken care of. 25:57.623 --> 26:01.408 [SPEAKER_02]: This is how we've sort of just delineated some of these pieces of our work within our home. 26:01.929 --> 26:02.950 [SPEAKER_02]: This is what he's trained for. 26:02.990 --> 26:04.152 [SPEAKER_02]: This is his specialty. 26:05.514 --> 26:06.996 [SPEAKER_02]: We have an incredible, 26:07.465 --> 26:15.618 [SPEAKER_02]: church co-op that were a part of, et cetera, et cetera, but there was this moment that dawned on us a few months ago. 26:15.878 --> 26:19.684 [SPEAKER_02]: We've had the Elliott Homestead for 16 years now. 26:22.388 --> 26:24.191 [SPEAKER_02]: Half of that is eight. 26:25.473 --> 26:28.157 [SPEAKER_02]: In eight years, our youngest is done with school. 26:31.107 --> 26:41.901 [SPEAKER_02]: And so it was this, and you know, if you have older kids to, you know, it's not your hands off with their school, but it's not like when they're 10 11 12 13. 26:42.281 --> 26:45.325 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm mostly like, did you do XYC? 26:45.385 --> 26:46.307 [SPEAKER_02]: They're kind of in there. 26:46.407 --> 26:51.293 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, you're having these deep conversations and you're wrestling with this idea, but you're not like, 26:51.728 --> 26:58.376 [SPEAKER_02]: Here's how you hope and Google that's to type your paper, you know, it's just you're having different kind of conversations. 26:58.957 --> 26:59.057 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 26:59.077 --> 27:10.531 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, a dawn on us that in eight years, this whole identity, this whole purpose that he has that's consuming his life right now. 27:11.352 --> 27:12.974 [SPEAKER_02]: Hmm. 27:12.994 --> 27:13.274 [SPEAKER_02]: It's done. 27:13.314 --> 27:17.820 [SPEAKER_02]: And eight years might sound like a really long time if you're young. 27:18.796 --> 27:21.942 [SPEAKER_02]: But it feels like a nothing burger to us. 27:22.924 --> 27:25.168 [SPEAKER_02]: It feels like it's just going to fly by. 27:25.549 --> 27:28.695 [SPEAKER_02]: Because it's not just eight years, it's like, OK, well, then there's Georgia. 27:28.795 --> 27:31.500 [SPEAKER_02]: And then 18 months later, then it's all right. 27:31.580 --> 27:33.023 [SPEAKER_02]: And then 18 months later, it's will. 27:33.123 --> 27:34.405 [SPEAKER_02]: And then do you know what I mean? 27:34.425 --> 27:38.092 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's not the ecosystem changes. 27:38.874 --> 27:40.737 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we have to grow. 27:41.425 --> 27:44.748 [SPEAKER_02]: If he is in 20 years being like, well, my identity is being a homeschool dad. 27:44.768 --> 27:46.991 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, okay, but there's no end to homeschool. 27:47.011 --> 27:47.531 [SPEAKER_02]: So now what? 27:48.192 --> 27:48.532 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 27:48.712 --> 27:49.173 [SPEAKER_02]: Now what? 27:50.554 --> 27:52.256 [SPEAKER_00]: That's why we're last week's substack. 27:52.376 --> 27:53.517 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what? 27:54.599 --> 27:56.741 [SPEAKER_00]: It's all, it's a long time from now. 27:56.901 --> 27:59.383 [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, it's going to go really fast. 28:00.364 --> 28:00.605 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 28:01.245 --> 28:05.069 [SPEAKER_00]: My point was like, what can I start just slowly cultivating now? 28:05.189 --> 28:05.830 [SPEAKER_00]: Because 28:06.333 --> 28:28.102 [SPEAKER_00]: I do the teaching, I'll have this huge hunk of, you know, you know, you know, and, you know, our notes talk about like when you're old life beds, I think like that works or like when we're talking about our almost 10-year-olds, but it doesn't quite feel right anymore because there's so much change happening with the other ones. 28:29.784 --> 28:35.091 [SPEAKER_02]: And during those teenage years, your life 28:36.303 --> 28:37.645 [SPEAKER_02]: your goals are a little bit different. 28:37.665 --> 28:48.540 [SPEAKER_02]: When they were little, I'll tell you what, moms, if you have little's, bath your babies in the little bubble bath for me and wrap them up and clean little onesies and sit with them on your lap and read them books. 28:48.660 --> 28:53.787 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my gosh, like I can feel myself rotating just thinking about that. 28:53.967 --> 28:57.332 [SPEAKER_02]: I just, that was such a beautiful, beautiful. 28:57.717 --> 28:58.560 [SPEAKER_02]: I was there, man. 28:58.681 --> 28:59.303 [SPEAKER_02]: I was in it. 28:59.604 --> 29:04.503 [SPEAKER_02]: I was in it deep with my babies that I'm so glad that I was. 29:04.563 --> 29:08.638 [SPEAKER_02]: That was so much more controllable. 29:09.496 --> 29:15.348 [SPEAKER_02]: And so I think there was a lot less disappointment, even though, you know, I remember feeling, I love this story. 29:15.368 --> 29:16.691 [SPEAKER_02]: Let me tell you this, I don't know if I ever have. 29:16.972 --> 29:18.876 [SPEAKER_02]: I told you, Angela, but not maybe our listeners. 29:19.557 --> 29:22.904 [SPEAKER_02]: When I was pregnant with Georgia, I was really, Georgia's our first. 29:23.184 --> 29:26.852 [SPEAKER_02]: I was really getting into this crunchy thing, right? 29:26.892 --> 29:29.698 [SPEAKER_02]: This just like kind of body awareness. 29:29.678 --> 29:33.184 [SPEAKER_02]: health awareness, food awareness, et cetera, et cetera. 29:33.885 --> 29:42.579 [SPEAKER_02]: And so I decided to see a midwife and to have a natural birth at a berthing center. 29:42.859 --> 29:43.160 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 29:44.502 --> 29:48.368 [SPEAKER_02]: I saw my midwife through all of my pregnancy and I felt very comfortable with her. 29:49.370 --> 29:54.859 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, about three weeks before Georgia was due, we found out that she was breached. 29:55.497 --> 30:01.160 [SPEAKER_02]: And at that time in Washington State midwives were not allowed to do breach births. 30:01.663 --> 30:02.145 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 30:02.486 --> 30:03.229 [SPEAKER_02]: So. 30:03.952 --> 30:07.175 [SPEAKER_02]: I freaked out and I did all the things. 30:07.476 --> 30:08.136 [SPEAKER_02]: So I did. 30:08.156 --> 30:11.620 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, like, acupuncture, water. 30:11.760 --> 30:12.921 [SPEAKER_00]: It stands under water. 30:12.941 --> 30:14.442 [SPEAKER_02]: I think moccie sticks. 30:14.462 --> 30:16.625 [SPEAKER_02]: Burn next to the pig keep like you name it. 30:17.105 --> 30:17.606 [SPEAKER_02]: I did it. 30:18.246 --> 30:21.209 [SPEAKER_02]: I had earphones shoved down my pants, like move towards the sound. 30:21.610 --> 30:22.250 [SPEAKER_02]: Which can work. 30:22.430 --> 30:23.111 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it can work. 30:23.151 --> 30:24.112 [SPEAKER_02]: I tried all the things. 30:24.232 --> 30:26.154 [SPEAKER_02]: I genuinely tried all the things. 30:26.274 --> 30:32.480 [SPEAKER_02]: I tried a manual version, which was probably the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. 30:32.841 --> 30:33.081 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 30:34.192 --> 30:34.874 [SPEAKER_02]: what that was. 30:35.716 --> 30:37.981 [SPEAKER_02]: That was horrific. 30:38.622 --> 30:41.830 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, yeah, it doesn't work. 30:41.850 --> 30:42.451 [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't work. 30:42.551 --> 30:51.492 [SPEAKER_02]: And so again, at that time in Washington State, this was 16 years ago, OBGYNs also didn't do breach births. 30:52.450 --> 30:54.032 [SPEAKER_02]: our only option was a sea section. 30:54.472 --> 30:58.417 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was so angry, I was so frustrated. 30:58.437 --> 31:05.886 [SPEAKER_02]: And I did, I was young, and I was naive, and I just thought, but that's not how I want to identify, right? 31:05.906 --> 31:08.208 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a, I'm a, I'm aware of these things. 31:08.268 --> 31:14.796 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I know what happens when it comes out the birth canal and I want, I want all the things for this baby was our first one. 31:14.836 --> 31:17.479 [SPEAKER_02]: I just had these, my expectations were, 31:17.459 --> 31:18.781 [SPEAKER_02]: or sky high. 31:18.821 --> 31:22.046 [SPEAKER_02]: I wanted her to be healthy and strong and beautiful. 31:22.106 --> 31:26.692 [SPEAKER_02]: And I wanted to have this experience with her and do the delayed clamping. 31:26.712 --> 31:36.026 [SPEAKER_02]: And like I had all of these things just bound up in in what I had my expectations of this birth. 31:36.727 --> 31:37.027 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 31:37.047 --> 31:38.089 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know why it's made me cry. 31:38.189 --> 31:38.650 [SPEAKER_02]: Good. 31:38.670 --> 31:39.912 [SPEAKER_02]: This is a lot of time. 31:39.932 --> 31:40.493 [SPEAKER_02]: She's five. 31:40.513 --> 31:41.093 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a lot. 31:41.334 --> 31:43.016 [SPEAKER_02]: I was emotional about it. 31:43.597 --> 31:45.660 [SPEAKER_02]: And none of that 31:46.720 --> 31:48.222 [SPEAKER_02]: We have to schedule a C-section. 31:48.262 --> 31:53.289 [SPEAKER_02]: And before the C-section, my water breaks and I go into a labor. 31:54.631 --> 31:57.435 [SPEAKER_02]: And so, I'm scared, it's my first time. 31:57.455 --> 31:58.817 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't really know what I'm feeling. 31:58.837 --> 31:59.979 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't really know what's happening. 31:59.999 --> 32:05.286 [SPEAKER_02]: So we end up having to go into the emergency room and we end up having to do an emergency C-section. 32:06.464 --> 32:16.375 [SPEAKER_02]: C-sections already scary when you're in labor, like full-on labor and in pain and you have to sit for an epidural and they're like, don't move, but you're having a contraction. 32:16.495 --> 32:21.080 [SPEAKER_02]: It was, I was terrified, absolutely terrified. 32:21.621 --> 32:24.424 [SPEAKER_02]: I was cold, I was scared, Stuart, couldn't be in there. 32:24.484 --> 32:26.025 [SPEAKER_02]: None of this was what I wanted. 32:27.427 --> 32:29.009 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my gosh, I don't know what my problem is. 32:29.109 --> 32:30.210 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna blame the plague. 32:31.331 --> 32:34.935 [SPEAKER_02]: And we have this C-section. 32:35.962 --> 33:04.045 [SPEAKER_01]: and she's beautiful and I remember thinking aliens could have brought you here and I wouldn't have cared because I get to like love you and you're so lovely and you're so beautiful and you're mine and I just felt so grateful that she was healthy again like there was one there was one problem one goal and that's that she got here and that she was healthy but what I found out 33:05.307 --> 33:17.084 [SPEAKER_01]: What I found out afterwards was that because I have a uterine anomaly, if I would have given birth to her at the Burthing Center, I found this out with my second birth, which was a V-back. 33:18.947 --> 33:31.686 [SPEAKER_02]: I would have torn that anomaly would have torn out, and I most likely would have bled to dip because that is what happened during my second birth, but they were able to stop it because I was in the hospital. 33:32.611 --> 33:35.576 [SPEAKER_01]: what I got, I got the answer to that question. 33:35.596 --> 33:37.759 [SPEAKER_01]: Like why did this have to go this way? 33:38.601 --> 33:45.011 [SPEAKER_02]: And the answer was 18 months later, it was, well, if it went with the way that you would have wanted, you would have died. 33:46.313 --> 33:47.294 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 33:47.314 --> 33:50.780 [SPEAKER_02]: So all those things that you were trying to do, it's not that any of them were bad. 33:50.820 --> 34:00.255 [SPEAKER_02]: It's that that's not what the Lord had for you and praise God for that because I was saved from myself truly. 34:00.826 --> 34:02.848 [SPEAKER_02]: that doesn't work for all disappointment. 34:02.928 --> 34:07.252 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I think about parents who have lost a child, right? 34:07.272 --> 34:10.095 [SPEAKER_02]: Or a spouse, or these kinds of things. 34:10.215 --> 34:14.299 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's like a disappointment they have to live with until glory. 34:15.159 --> 34:18.282 [SPEAKER_02]: That's not one that gets answered in the same way. 34:18.543 --> 34:24.929 [SPEAKER_02]: But that particular instance taught me a lot about if the answer's no, nose and answer. 34:26.330 --> 34:29.533 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's okay to feel disappointed for a moment. 34:30.644 --> 34:34.510 [SPEAKER_02]: But ultimately, we're not the weavers of this tapestry. 34:36.973 --> 34:38.816 [SPEAKER_02]: Sorry, I kind of go get a Kleenex. 34:39.297 --> 34:41.099 [SPEAKER_02]: Can you hang on for one second? 34:41.119 --> 34:43.563 [SPEAKER_02]: Sure, just a second. 34:45.927 --> 34:46.948 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that is so true. 34:46.968 --> 34:49.852 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to carry on while she's walking away. 34:50.694 --> 34:59.807 [SPEAKER_00]: My first birth similar to Shay and that, I started on this map for how many 35:00.040 --> 35:05.892 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was just all about the homework and the long story short. 35:05.912 --> 35:08.638 [SPEAKER_00]: I could hear you back. 35:08.678 --> 35:09.439 [SPEAKER_00]: I could hear you back. 35:09.459 --> 35:10.221 [SPEAKER_00]: I could hear you back. 35:10.261 --> 35:11.082 [SPEAKER_00]: My long story short. 35:11.283 --> 35:14.750 [SPEAKER_00]: I've labored at home for about 20 hours. 35:15.912 --> 35:20.682 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was a physician attended homework and you were pretty sick of me. 35:22.906 --> 35:24.228 [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, we're going to transfer you. 35:24.268 --> 35:25.951 [SPEAKER_00]: I just wasn't making any progress. 35:25.991 --> 35:28.234 [SPEAKER_00]: So just so, you know, hi, it's hardening. 35:28.434 --> 35:31.379 [SPEAKER_00]: Just, well, and so normal for a first time. 35:31.399 --> 35:32.981 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, delivery. 35:33.181 --> 35:42.535 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, the expectations, the expectations, that yeah, doctors, but on the timeline and how long it should take you to have a baby or don't get me started. 35:42.515 --> 35:48.385 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, but I ended up at the hospital, which was, again, stating to me, I don't think I had artists. 35:48.846 --> 35:54.236 [SPEAKER_00]: I all think I had art with hardly, pardon me, ever stepped foot in hospital before then. 35:54.837 --> 36:02.791 [SPEAKER_00]: Just completely naive to nursing shifts and clipboards and answering questions and the way things are done on them. 36:02.811 --> 36:06.497 [SPEAKER_00]: I was pretty defensive because I was pretty pissed off to be there. 36:07.186 --> 36:09.709 [SPEAKER_00]: um he was born. 36:09.729 --> 36:14.736 [SPEAKER_00]: They took him away from me, which I never wanted, but I'm down in that little room. 36:14.997 --> 36:16.599 [SPEAKER_00]: That trashed me for about two years. 36:17.841 --> 36:18.501 [SPEAKER_00]: Not I shouldn't laugh. 36:18.582 --> 36:20.023 [SPEAKER_00]: It was that was really bad for me. 36:20.965 --> 36:26.292 [SPEAKER_00]: But again, 11 days later, 36:27.419 --> 36:56.211 [SPEAKER_00]: We long, long story short could tell something was really wrong and did it back in the hospital with a heart problem and looking back once I got over morning that they took him away from me because that hour and a half really traumatized me where he wasn't with me, but after the fact a couple years later, I was able to see that having exposure to hospital environment. 36:57.322 --> 37:05.138 [SPEAKER_00]: just sort of prepared me for this next round of hospital environment which was really bad, like the, you know, the ICU and 37:06.755 --> 37:11.141 [SPEAKER_00]: That being on my guard, I was, you know, I said I was mad to be there. 37:11.161 --> 37:12.083 [SPEAKER_00]: I was defensive. 37:12.443 --> 37:13.325 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't want their help. 37:13.385 --> 37:14.847 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't want to interact with nurses. 37:15.348 --> 37:24.762 [SPEAKER_00]: That actually was a good thing because I was very, proactive, attentive mother in the PICU. 37:24.782 --> 37:29.168 [SPEAKER_00]: To the point where the cardiologist said, like, it's really good that you're so like, 37:29.148 --> 37:31.071 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not I'm not going to put that down. 37:31.131 --> 37:32.853 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to tell you that that's good. 37:33.354 --> 37:34.395 [SPEAKER_00]: He said a lot of parents. 37:34.435 --> 37:35.917 [SPEAKER_00]: This is so traumatic for them. 37:35.957 --> 37:37.299 [SPEAKER_00]: They just sort of detach. 37:38.541 --> 37:48.034 [SPEAKER_00]: And in my like aggressiveness, I caught what was almost a double medication during a shift change or right after a shift change that would have killed him. 37:48.014 --> 37:50.256 [SPEAKER_00]: And so you get to look back sometimes. 37:50.817 --> 37:55.842 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you hope to look back and say, okay, I can see, I can see now. 37:56.242 --> 37:59.245 [SPEAKER_00]: And I can still mourn that, but I have a little bit more perspective. 38:00.086 --> 38:01.127 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's really grace. 38:01.167 --> 38:04.931 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't get that with everything in life, but sometimes sometimes we do. 38:05.512 --> 38:05.652 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. 38:06.332 --> 38:07.434 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 38:07.454 --> 38:08.294 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we really do. 38:08.575 --> 38:13.920 [SPEAKER_02]: And the older you get, the more instances you have of, 38:14.390 --> 38:22.823 [SPEAKER_02]: these kinds of situations and how and how they sometimes you do you do get to see the other side of those things and sometimes you just. 38:24.366 --> 38:30.635 [SPEAKER_02]: You need to give yourself, you know, a good 20 minutes to just feel proper disappointed. 38:32.939 --> 38:39.469 [SPEAKER_00]: Just it's okay, it needs to feel disappointed in that okay, yeah, and things are like big stories that we just, yes, it doesn't mean that. 38:40.529 --> 38:44.275 [SPEAKER_00]: in your disappointment that like life has necessarily gone wrong. 38:44.335 --> 38:56.693 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, the last time I were feeling this way, I think I called you, but I had this woman who was like, said me that deposit links for KVDA, me and to my husband and I and to other couples are going to come and it was going to sell out our September trip. 38:57.334 --> 39:02.942 [SPEAKER_02]: And I just thought, oh my gosh, thank you, Lord, this is incredible. 39:04.070 --> 39:07.817 [SPEAKER_02]: And then the next day she texted me and something had happened, blah, blah, blah, that's it. 39:07.837 --> 39:14.389 [SPEAKER_02]: I've learned that this happens a lot, but this moment, I felt just straight up disappointment. 39:15.110 --> 39:20.319 [SPEAKER_02]: Not this went wrong, she's wrong, I'm wrong, this trips her wrong, my job's nothing like that. 39:20.880 --> 39:26.871 [SPEAKER_02]: It was just bummer, jeep, proper bummer. 39:27.931 --> 39:34.901 [SPEAKER_02]: And, and Stu, you know, he let me cry, he let me limit a little bit and he was like, okay, 30 minutes, be sad. 39:35.182 --> 39:36.584 [SPEAKER_02]: And then we're going to keep going. 39:37.064 --> 39:37.685 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go go. 39:37.705 --> 39:41.831 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, it's, it isn't always that something is wrong. 39:42.693 --> 39:47.019 [SPEAKER_00]: It's your life is his life, and it's allowed to look like this. 39:49.182 --> 39:51.465 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think it's not off track. 39:52.687 --> 39:53.989 [SPEAKER_02]: It's not abnormal. 39:55.775 --> 40:00.419 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think it's also like, this human were torn. 40:00.600 --> 40:02.481 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, allow me to geek out for a minute. 40:03.442 --> 40:07.726 [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of, I know a lot of you actually are in stewards like, I knew you were gonna go. 40:07.746 --> 40:08.047 [SPEAKER_02]: I know. 40:08.367 --> 40:12.371 [SPEAKER_02]: Everything relates to everything really, stole order of the rings, prove its net show. 40:12.551 --> 40:14.453 [SPEAKER_02]: In the Lord of the Rings, centric lights. 40:14.533 --> 40:18.577 [SPEAKER_02]: It's like a joke, it's either a joke, inscripture, or Lord of the Rings. 40:18.657 --> 40:20.298 [SPEAKER_02]: Those two things, they connect all things. 40:20.418 --> 40:25.343 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, there's this really great scene where they're in La Florian, 40:25.930 --> 40:37.054 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, and it was this one time the spectacular beautiful gilded magical land and it's fading away and the elves know it's fading away. 40:37.878 --> 40:43.911 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's kind of this, there's still pieces of it, but it's like a shell of what it once was, the glory that it once was. 40:43.971 --> 40:48.901 [SPEAKER_02]: Think Rome, okay, same kind of thing, a shell of its former glory. 40:48.921 --> 40:58.080 [SPEAKER_02]: And so Stuart and I have been talking a lot about our souls as people and how they long, 40:58.263 --> 41:00.407 [SPEAKER_02]: for eternal things. 41:00.708 --> 41:05.797 [SPEAKER_02]: That's why when people die, we feel really, really sad. 41:06.839 --> 41:12.490 [SPEAKER_02]: Because because there is an eternity written on our hearts, there's this eternal piece of us. 41:12.510 --> 41:14.213 [SPEAKER_02]: So when 41:14.193 --> 41:25.731 [SPEAKER_02]: our favorite house plant dies, or when plans don't work out, and we don't get to see people, or our marriage isn't the way that we think it was, or our finances aren't the way that we think it was. 41:26.473 --> 41:40.555 [SPEAKER_02]: It's because there's this piece of us that wants things to be whole, and they want things to be eternal, and they want things to be honest and beautiful and true, and that's why 41:40.535 --> 41:46.731 [SPEAKER_02]: Do you know, and there's a, it's written in me, it's written in all of us to want things that are. 41:47.639 --> 41:48.841 [SPEAKER_02]: good and true and beautiful. 41:48.961 --> 42:12.111 [SPEAKER_02]: And part of that is things that are eternal, things that don't have an end, things that don't have to pass away, the things that don't have to die where the streets are gilded and gold and like, and there is this like restoration of full restoration of fellowship and and full restoration of like of union and full restoration of our of ourselves and our 42:12.091 --> 42:14.038 [SPEAKER_02]: emotions and our disappointment. 42:14.319 --> 42:17.751 [SPEAKER_02]: That's what we, that's what our souls love for. 42:17.811 --> 42:23.109 [SPEAKER_01]: And so you said, we just realized you said, we shouldn't go deeper, be dramatic. 42:23.410 --> 42:24.193 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry. 42:28.274 --> 42:29.856 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I'm sorry. 42:29.876 --> 42:33.420 [SPEAKER_02]: No, it's, but that's why we feel disappointed. 42:33.500 --> 42:43.572 [SPEAKER_02]: We feel disappointed when somebody says a snarky remark to us, or we're not able to come to resolution with people, or we fall in a fellowship with our family, or whatever. 42:43.592 --> 42:48.018 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, insert any sort of disappointment that you could possibly am at. 42:48.078 --> 42:49.860 [SPEAKER_02]: That's why we feel that way. 42:51.173 --> 43:06.550 [SPEAKER_00]: I just think that we're sort of set up to think we should be tougher, we shouldn't, yeah, and same, same along that like be so sensitive, we shouldn't take so much to heart, but to your point, if it's written on our heart. 43:07.222 --> 43:09.066 [SPEAKER_00]: Like that, they will always feel that way. 43:09.086 --> 43:14.536 [SPEAKER_00]: The disappointment from the micro disappointments to the big ones, it is a natural response. 43:14.617 --> 43:24.015 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just think we need to be allowed to acknowledge that and talk about it and not feel shame and like I'm disappointed. 43:24.232 --> 43:28.918 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't I think we we are especially believers. 43:28.978 --> 43:32.803 [SPEAKER_00]: We feel like disappointment equals like mal content. 43:33.804 --> 43:48.602 [SPEAKER_02]: I think we lump all those negative words into one like toxic waste don't you think we also lumped them like oh there being a new person like oh you're you your mal content with who you are what the Lord has given you like why would you be striving for something else 43:48.937 --> 43:50.338 [SPEAKER_02]: But then that's the same thing. 43:50.439 --> 43:52.381 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, long to into don't do that. 43:52.421 --> 43:54.162 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't think that right should be happy. 43:54.202 --> 43:55.604 [SPEAKER_00]: You're made in the image of God. 43:55.644 --> 43:56.825 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, you're, yeah. 43:57.846 --> 43:59.047 [SPEAKER_00]: This isn't your eternal hope. 43:59.067 --> 44:01.430 [SPEAKER_00]: Like don't you don't do that. 44:01.550 --> 44:03.752 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, again, let's go back to Job. 44:04.012 --> 44:04.913 [SPEAKER_02]: What happens to Job? 44:05.214 --> 44:08.517 [SPEAKER_02]: Like Job's very upset with his circumstances. 44:09.358 --> 44:12.201 [SPEAKER_02]: And Job, he needs to cry out. 44:12.261 --> 44:13.442 [SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, hey, 44:14.317 --> 44:23.028 [SPEAKER_02]: Like can the dead worship you come on, you know, and that's not on righteousness, right? 44:23.068 --> 44:24.089 [SPEAKER_02]: That's disappointment. 44:25.671 --> 44:28.995 [SPEAKER_02]: That's like, that's just him being like, I'm disappointed with how this whole thing is going. 44:34.342 --> 44:43.193 [SPEAKER_02]: It's interesting, what also affects this culturely is when, you know, you and I both kind of live in the public eye, I have people tell me they're disappointed with me. 44:43.932 --> 44:45.574 [SPEAKER_00]: I love that, I feel so good. 44:48.797 --> 44:49.598 [SPEAKER_02]: You're not the same. 44:49.638 --> 44:53.823 [SPEAKER_02]: I liked you better when you've changed. 44:54.443 --> 44:55.124 [SPEAKER_00]: You've got your hair. 44:55.464 --> 44:57.427 [SPEAKER_02]: You got your hair. 44:57.447 --> 44:58.007 [SPEAKER_02]: Out there, you. 44:58.067 --> 45:12.623 [SPEAKER_02]: And so we naturally almost start to live our lives to avoid other people being disappointed in us. 45:15.522 --> 45:17.044 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, shoot. 45:17.304 --> 45:17.925 [SPEAKER_02]: I was reading. 45:17.945 --> 45:19.747 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm trying to remember know what I was reading. 45:19.807 --> 45:23.592 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, it was an attack. 45:23.612 --> 45:24.834 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, gosh, I'm going to get this wrong. 45:25.314 --> 45:26.576 [SPEAKER_02]: But it was an Italian guy. 45:26.596 --> 45:28.799 [SPEAKER_02]: His dad wanted him to take over the business. 45:29.179 --> 45:30.481 [SPEAKER_02]: It's not what he wanted to do. 45:30.501 --> 45:34.106 [SPEAKER_02]: He wanted to go somewhere else and be a part of this thing. 45:34.166 --> 45:39.252 [SPEAKER_02]: And he said, I realized either my dream or his was going to have to die. 45:41.122 --> 45:48.132 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's sort of this paradox that we can feel in, you know, to go back to, to like our homestead. 45:48.292 --> 45:55.723 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I've had people email me, write me letters in the snail mail, send me messages on social media, you know, I like you better when. 45:55.763 --> 46:09.222 [SPEAKER_02]: You don't even homestead anymore, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it, does it 46:09.843 --> 46:14.649 [SPEAKER_02]: Imagine trying to not only manage your own disappointment, we don't have to imagine. 46:15.490 --> 46:22.057 [SPEAKER_02]: We're trying to manage our own disappointment and manage it so that we make our parents proud. 46:22.498 --> 46:23.739 [SPEAKER_02]: We make our siblings proud. 46:23.759 --> 46:24.981 [SPEAKER_02]: We make our community proud. 46:25.061 --> 46:30.027 [SPEAKER_02]: We're obtaining members of our communities, obtaining members of our church, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. 46:30.087 --> 46:39.698 [SPEAKER_02]: And, man, that really sets us up too. 46:41.753 --> 46:42.854 [SPEAKER_00]: have lots of disappointment. 46:43.635 --> 46:54.145 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and then I'm sorry, like not to be the dead horse, but then you add to that social media exposure and your exposure every day to lives you're never going to live. 46:55.066 --> 46:59.550 [SPEAKER_00]: Is there not your house and outfits you're never going to have and places you're never going to go? 46:59.591 --> 47:08.159 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's yeah, it's the best parts of your life are not online. 47:08.579 --> 47:11.322 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think this 47:12.736 --> 47:19.101 [SPEAKER_02]: There's never going to stop disappointment because we live in a fallen world with fallen people. 47:19.975 --> 47:21.657 [SPEAKER_02]: um, and fallen circumstances. 47:22.437 --> 47:25.200 [SPEAKER_02]: So that's that can't be the the solution. 47:25.220 --> 47:27.802 [SPEAKER_02]: I think meant learning to manage your disappointment. 47:28.263 --> 47:32.286 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, again, for the believer, I know a lot of you that listening are believers. 47:32.346 --> 47:40.194 [SPEAKER_02]: I know a lot of you aren't because you email us and in your very kind, but it, like we've said many times on this podcast, it shapes the way we see everything. 47:40.954 --> 47:49.122 [SPEAKER_02]: Now, because I have the Lord and I have a history and I have seen where he has brought 47:49.253 --> 47:50.594 [SPEAKER_02]: understand in the moment. 47:51.676 --> 48:03.968 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, you know, I remember I think I've told this story in the podcast before, but when we did the Food Network pilot, it cost us so much time and money and effort to make that to do that. 48:04.929 --> 48:09.754 [SPEAKER_02]: And, um, and when it didn't get picked up, I was self-attigued by the whole process. 48:10.775 --> 48:14.099 [SPEAKER_02]: I remember feeling in like a deep disappointment. 48:15.781 --> 48:19.024 [SPEAKER_02]: And also being like, 48:20.219 --> 48:25.307 [SPEAKER_02]: Because we have enough of a history I know that whatever it is it's for my good. 48:25.747 --> 48:26.548 [SPEAKER_02]: I might not like it. 48:27.350 --> 48:27.810 [SPEAKER_02]: Working out. 48:27.930 --> 48:29.493 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't like, but it's for my good. 48:30.394 --> 48:37.745 [SPEAKER_02]: And so there was sort of this just trust that even with disappointment comes the right things. 48:37.965 --> 48:44.455 [SPEAKER_02]: And even if the answer is no, the answer is no because it keeps you on the correct path. 48:46.223 --> 48:47.888 [SPEAKER_02]: That's how I manage disappointment. 48:48.269 --> 48:53.523 [SPEAKER_02]: Now, you feel it, you acknowledge it, you don't let it make a nest in your hair, you don't let it make you bitter. 48:53.543 --> 48:58.056 [SPEAKER_02]: And then you just sort of like kind of carry on. 48:59.981 --> 49:00.182 [SPEAKER_02]: Great. 49:01.023 --> 49:07.010 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's good in quiet to reflect like what is the source of this disappointment? 49:07.150 --> 49:11.675 [SPEAKER_00]: Is this coming from a node or not right now? 49:11.695 --> 49:14.759 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, is this coming from above? 49:14.979 --> 49:24.550 [SPEAKER_00]: Is this coming from some sort of timeline that I've imposed on my life, some sort of like comparison illusion or 49:25.863 --> 49:30.069 [SPEAKER_00]: Just idea that I've been dogmatic about for so long. 49:30.109 --> 49:31.290 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm holding tight. 49:31.751 --> 49:32.372 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know. 49:34.074 --> 49:40.503 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I love in this instance, I think a good exercise if we're looking for like a take home piece. 49:41.684 --> 49:42.325 [SPEAKER_02]: Keep a journal. 49:42.665 --> 49:44.648 [SPEAKER_02]: I keep a prayer journal, but 49:45.843 --> 50:04.109 [SPEAKER_02]: keep it journal because what you'll notice is three months out, six months out, nine months out, a year out, years out, when you go back and you reflect, which you know, you should do, when you take some time to actually reflect, you see like, oh, that's why that didn't, that's why that didn't work out. 50:04.931 --> 50:12.762 [SPEAKER_02]: Or that's why I felt disappointment, but yes, here is where it is self-assisted, 50:12.742 --> 50:13.543 [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely. 50:13.583 --> 50:38.850 [SPEAKER_02]: On a lighter note, I saw a great Instagram reel that there was this therapist who's now prescribing a millennial nostalgic reset, which means basically you're sad, go put on some good music, go put on some good nostalgic music, give yourself a little millennial dance party, 50:39.286 --> 50:44.807 [SPEAKER_02]: And then carry on, like just reset, tell yourself, I'm disappointed. 50:45.489 --> 50:47.035 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I'm in it. 50:47.437 --> 50:53.062 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to shake it like a saw shake or for 30 minutes and then we're going to move on with our day. 50:54.003 --> 50:56.866 [SPEAKER_02]: So I was scrubbing my bathroom floor yesterday to Celine Dion. 50:58.127 --> 50:58.847 [SPEAKER_02]: Let's go girl. 50:59.148 --> 50:59.948 [SPEAKER_02]: Come on. 50:59.968 --> 51:00.989 [SPEAKER_02]: Sweetie. 51:01.009 --> 51:03.211 [SPEAKER_02]: She's so beautiful. 51:03.672 --> 51:04.392 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my gosh. 51:05.333 --> 51:06.795 [SPEAKER_00]: She can sing so much. 51:07.435 --> 51:12.540 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, some of those people like if you go back to like before the over exposure. 51:13.020 --> 51:13.461 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 51:14.181 --> 51:17.224 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's like really good and nostalgic nugget there. 51:17.204 --> 51:29.045 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, well, it was funny because I'm listening to that Celine Dion song, um, it's all coming back to me, you know, and I, when I first heard that, I was like, fourth grade, fourth grade, you know, and I'm like, it's okay. 51:29.065 --> 51:30.427 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I played it. 51:30.567 --> 51:41.727 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, it's hilarious because you're listening to it now and it's like, making me cry because I'm like, this is as an adult who's been there, you know, you're like, oh, this is heartbreaking. 51:42.145 --> 51:44.509 [SPEAKER_02]: They're like, oh, and again, off again, oh, and again. 51:44.569 --> 51:46.212 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so, so heavy. 51:47.053 --> 51:51.720 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, okay, let's take time with a few comments. 51:51.801 --> 51:52.141 [SPEAKER_02]: Shall we? 51:52.161 --> 51:53.563 [SPEAKER_02]: Let's do. 51:53.583 --> 51:54.645 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, let's do. 51:54.665 --> 51:55.527 [SPEAKER_02]: I like go first. 51:55.547 --> 52:00.154 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, Caleb, Calebe, McNeely. 52:00.539 --> 52:01.601 [SPEAKER_02]: homey apathy. 52:01.641 --> 52:03.706 [SPEAKER_02]: This was about last week's episode, homey apathy. 52:03.766 --> 52:07.555 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, please ignore the username as I share a spot if I cannot with my husband. 52:08.056 --> 52:09.980 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so it's not Caleb writing us in. 52:10.361 --> 52:13.709 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm Laura and I've been listening to you for almost as long as I've been married. 52:14.150 --> 52:17.497 [SPEAKER_02]: I was driving and listening today and you started talking about that and I got so excited. 52:17.557 --> 52:19.662 [SPEAKER_02]: If someday I need to learn something... 52:19.642 --> 52:23.545 [SPEAKER_02]: Wait, if someday I need something new to learn, I want to take classes on homeyopathy. 52:23.946 --> 52:24.326 [SPEAKER_02]: I love this. 52:24.446 --> 52:32.032 [SPEAKER_02]: I also want to take classes on homeyopathy because I want to understand it better than I do now and I don't understand. 52:32.093 --> 52:33.314 [SPEAKER_02]: I still have to look everything up. 52:33.494 --> 52:35.836 [SPEAKER_02]: It's definitely not instinctual to me yet. 52:36.596 --> 52:40.800 [SPEAKER_02]: So I know there's a lot of online resources for this kind of thing, but this is cool. 52:40.920 --> 52:41.400 [SPEAKER_02]: I love this. 52:42.722 --> 52:43.963 [SPEAKER_02]: And this is how you change. 52:44.323 --> 52:49.227 [SPEAKER_02]: You do some classes on homeyopathy 52:49.848 --> 52:51.270 [SPEAKER_02]: I was going to say, you're a witch. 52:51.790 --> 52:56.936 [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no. 52:56.956 --> 52:57.357 [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no, no. 52:57.377 --> 52:59.479 [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, that's my sense of humor, I tried to gush. 53:00.840 --> 53:01.641 [SPEAKER_00]: Keep it in a pillow. 53:02.522 --> 53:04.945 [SPEAKER_00]: Stuff that down, you want to push it down. 53:07.088 --> 53:07.228 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 53:07.248 --> 53:09.530 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, KK says, uh, love. 53:09.670 --> 53:10.892 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, ladies, longtime listeners. 53:10.912 --> 53:12.073 [SPEAKER_00]: I love that you're talking about health. 53:12.253 --> 53:13.695 [SPEAKER_00]: This is from last week's episode. 53:15.025 --> 53:24.855 [SPEAKER_00]: And everything that you've learned, I coach women specifically, on exactly what you're talking about weight loss, period men and post navigation hormone balance, Angela, love to lead with labs. 53:25.155 --> 53:30.160 [SPEAKER_00]: That's a response to me saying labs are like, my go to nerdout thing. 53:30.220 --> 53:33.323 [SPEAKER_00]: She says, every need someone to come on and geek out over this, I'm your girl. 53:33.363 --> 53:35.885 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for being my ears and my heart for the last five years. 53:36.766 --> 53:37.647 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like the canfileder. 53:37.887 --> 53:40.310 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your fileder, tell them wellness. 53:40.650 --> 53:42.552 [SPEAKER_00]: Cool, yeah, I love me some labs. 53:43.578 --> 53:46.701 [SPEAKER_02]: I love the crown and country. 53:46.981 --> 53:48.743 [SPEAKER_02]: I am a big believer in the GI map. 53:48.763 --> 53:51.045 [SPEAKER_02]: So this we talked about health last week if you're picking up on this. 53:51.125 --> 53:52.326 [SPEAKER_02]: It's so, so helpful for me. 53:52.386 --> 53:56.990 [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't involve supplements, but they are guided by a practitioner instead of shooting in the dark. 53:57.030 --> 53:58.992 [SPEAKER_02]: I have more energy and strength than I've had a long time. 53:59.472 --> 54:03.436 [SPEAKER_02]: So we had Christia on multiple times to talk about the GI map. 54:03.476 --> 54:12.724 [SPEAKER_02]: If you want to go back and listen to those episodes, those got me a huge way closer to being stable and healthy. 54:13.075 --> 54:15.219 [SPEAKER_02]: So I also love the GI map. 54:15.239 --> 54:17.362 [SPEAKER_02]: It gives you a reflection of what's going on. 54:18.224 --> 54:22.191 [SPEAKER_02]: And then what I love is, like, it got me so far down the road. 54:22.231 --> 54:28.001 [SPEAKER_02]: And then those intolerances, like, OK, what was causing the gut issues in the first place? 54:28.722 --> 54:31.627 [SPEAKER_02]: Now, we've sort of got them a little bit more under control. 54:32.348 --> 54:33.430 [SPEAKER_02]: So I love that, too. 54:33.450 --> 54:34.712 [SPEAKER_02]: That's a great resource. 54:35.401 --> 54:37.083 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. 54:37.103 --> 54:39.066 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, but you guys were on that screen. 54:39.086 --> 54:47.496 [SPEAKER_00]: I just hop down to a whim, a whim, burly, and again, this is, we talked, we've talked about this. 54:48.197 --> 54:51.482 [SPEAKER_00]: This is kind of on my last week's Substack for me. 54:51.722 --> 54:55.487 [SPEAKER_00]: Have y'all been listening and on my therapy sessions. 54:55.507 --> 54:58.731 [SPEAKER_00]: First of all, good for you for going to therapy in Malaysia, please everyone go. 55:00.313 --> 55:04.378 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going through ACs and change, both children are at school and I'm going to cry. 55:05.911 --> 55:10.317 [SPEAKER_00]: Just that episode, I guess I'm in a tip me harder than I've ever thought. 55:10.878 --> 55:13.982 [SPEAKER_00]: Hearing you both speak to being bored in this manner hit home. 55:14.543 --> 55:18.549 [SPEAKER_00]: So hard as a stay home on the free hours, I now have just feel strange and guilty. 55:18.589 --> 55:24.237 [SPEAKER_00]: Seriously, God is using your wonderful banter and philosophizing about our words behind the scenes. 55:25.418 --> 55:26.840 [SPEAKER_00]: Behind the scenes has helped me. 55:26.860 --> 55:30.245 [SPEAKER_00]: It has helped motivate me when depression threatens. 55:31.166 --> 55:31.947 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, sisters. 55:32.428 --> 55:33.049 [SPEAKER_00]: That was sweet. 55:34.177 --> 55:34.778 [SPEAKER_02]: That's a good one. 55:34.838 --> 55:35.659 [SPEAKER_02]: Let's send on that one. 55:35.839 --> 55:36.700 [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, Alicia. 55:37.040 --> 55:37.581 [SPEAKER_02]: I love that. 55:38.262 --> 55:39.683 [SPEAKER_02]: Seasons do change, don't they? 55:39.723 --> 55:41.365 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah. 55:41.646 --> 55:42.286 [SPEAKER_02]: It's wild. 55:42.306 --> 55:45.310 [SPEAKER_02]: Typically, she, we are, oh, you know what? 55:45.330 --> 55:46.471 [SPEAKER_02]: This is the season finale. 55:47.693 --> 55:47.913 [SPEAKER_02]: Is it? 55:49.114 --> 55:50.416 [SPEAKER_00]: Crap, Shane, I thought we had one more. 55:51.017 --> 55:51.737 [SPEAKER_02]: Do we have one more? 55:52.819 --> 55:53.359 [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe we do. 55:55.402 --> 55:56.423 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, this is it. 55:56.463 --> 56:00.928 [SPEAKER_00]: OK, I just opened my iTunes and it looks like I said to you episode nine last week. 56:00.988 --> 56:01.669 [SPEAKER_00]: This is it. 56:02.459 --> 56:04.402 [SPEAKER_00]: Right, that's a good, wow. 56:05.103 --> 56:15.440 [SPEAKER_02]: Wow, we were really, imperfectly podcasting, and since 2020, that's gonna do our new take life. 56:18.905 --> 56:20.328 [SPEAKER_02]: Red imperfect, look at lips. 56:21.129 --> 56:21.510 [SPEAKER_02]: Hi, babe. 56:22.071 --> 56:27.960 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, so we're gonna take a two week break and then we will be back here. 56:28.092 --> 56:28.813 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, two or three. 56:28.913 --> 56:34.423 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know how it's going to pan out to I think that's how we ended up just doing anyway we'll figure it out. 56:34.643 --> 56:38.250 [SPEAKER_02]: We'll sort it out in perfectly, but we will be back here with you for another season. 56:38.270 --> 56:39.031 [SPEAKER_02]: It'll be season 28. 56:40.454 --> 56:42.077 [SPEAKER_02]: So that's a lot of episodes. 56:42.097 --> 56:46.945 [SPEAKER_02]: That's a lot of banter a lot of philosophizing on a crime. 56:48.680 --> 56:49.721 [SPEAKER_02]: some good, some bad. 56:50.582 --> 56:55.888 [SPEAKER_00]: So over the break, listen to old episodes, check out Shea's Substack. 56:56.989 --> 56:58.711 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you'll find your Substack. 56:59.532 --> 57:06.079 [SPEAKER_02]: It's just Shea.substack.com but they should check out my Italy trips because we have one room left for September, is all. 57:06.099 --> 57:06.239 [SPEAKER_02]: Go. 57:06.479 --> 57:06.699 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. 57:07.400 --> 57:09.242 [SPEAKER_02]: Grab a girlfriend and call me Substack. 57:09.262 --> 57:09.883 [SPEAKER_02]: Grab your sister. 57:10.263 --> 57:13.507 [SPEAKER_02]: Angela is my inspiration from girl.substack.com. 57:14.288 --> 57:14.868 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know. 57:16.570 --> 57:18.332 [SPEAKER_02]: Terrible at that. 57:18.818 --> 57:20.522 [SPEAKER_02]: PreationFarmGirl.substack.com. 57:20.542 --> 57:21.584 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, ma'am, Julien. 57:21.805 --> 57:22.226 [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you. 57:22.306 --> 57:22.727 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 57:22.747 --> 57:26.696 [SPEAKER_02]: All right, ladies, we love you. 57:26.717 --> 57:28.581 [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for being here with us for season 27. 57:28.862 --> 57:30.104 [SPEAKER_02]: And perfect as we are. 57:30.165 --> 57:32.430 [SPEAKER_02]: We're so, so grateful for you. 57:32.791 --> 57:33.833 [SPEAKER_02]: And we'll see you in a few weeks. 57:34.515 --> 57:35.477 [SPEAKER_02]: Cheers.