[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, I'm Aaron and I'm Jennifer.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're the host of the Marge after God podcast.
[SPEAKER_03]: Our desire is to help you cultivate a marriage that chances boldly after God's will for your life together.
[SPEAKER_01]: We want to invite you to subscribe to our show wherever you watch or listen.
[SPEAKER_03]: We are so glad you're here and we pray that our discussion truly blesses you and your marriage.
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Marge after God podcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome back to the marriage after God podcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: We are in week 22 of our 30 week marriage devotional series.
[SPEAKER_02]: So Aaron and I have been going through our marriage devotionals that we wrote called husband after God and wife after God.
[SPEAKER_02]: And this has just been a really,
[SPEAKER_02]: in-depth series.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's been so nice to cover the topics that we've already covered and we're looking forward to the ones to come.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're kind of smooshed right in the many series about prayer, which has been really fun to get through.
[SPEAKER_02]: Today we're answering the question why you should be praying for your marriage every day.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we're really excited to get into that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But before we do, I just wanted to, we just wanted to encourage you guys that if you haven't had a chance to pick up those devotionals and you're going through the series, it would be so beneficial because it covers the topic more in depth.
[SPEAKER_02]: It has different questions, discussion questions, things that you can write about in your journal.
[SPEAKER_02]: Or in the book, it has little prayer prompts for you and challenges that you can do with your spouse.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's just a good companion resource to this series that we've been going through.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's what it's based off of.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we wanted to encourage you to get back.
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you want to tell them where they can find that?
[SPEAKER_03]: You can go shop dot marriage after god dot com that's shop dot marriage after god dot com and pick up copies of our devotional today and before we get into the topic I also want to invite you to share this show with whoever you know if you know a couple that would be blessed by these pot this podcast to encourage their marriage and prayer and devotion and all those things.
[SPEAKER_03]: Share your favorite episode with them and also make sure you hit that like button Make sure you subscribe wherever you like to listen or watch because we're on YouTube We're on Spotify we're on pot iTunes anywhere So what we'll do is we'll get into the topic now and I just want to bring up that every day We have choices.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is like this is kind of like the main thing that we talk about like we choose What we're gonna do?
[SPEAKER_03]: We have we have agency in our life week and we have we're giving choices
[SPEAKER_03]: and the choices reveal the impact we're making.
[SPEAKER_03]: So either we're choosing good things, we're choosing bad things, we're choosing to better ourselves, we're choosing to worse ourselves, or build up and tear down.
[SPEAKER_00]: I like that contrast a lot.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so either we're building our marriage and family or we're tearing it down.
[SPEAKER_03]: And it's kind of like every decision we make, whether we know what or not, is working towards one of those ends.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so your marriage, which is an encouragement, no matter how good it is and our purpose that is that you guys are in a awesome place and we know also not everyone's there but your marriage no matter how good it is, it's not immune, it's not impendurable to trials, to hardships, to tests, of faith.
[SPEAKER_03]: to temptations of the flesh.
[SPEAKER_03]: We all have these these things in our lives and we're not unsusceptable to them.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're actually we're humans.
[SPEAKER_03]: So we're actually are susceptible.
[SPEAKER_03]: But this experience we get to live, it's very real.
[SPEAKER_03]: very full of all kinds of circumstances and it's something that we need to keep in mind that just because things are good just because the seas are calm at the moment doesn't mean that those things are around and we got to be vigilant.
[SPEAKER_03]: We got to be aware.
[SPEAKER_03]: We got to have our eyes open.
[SPEAKER_03]: We got to have our ears open.
[SPEAKER_03]: We have to have our hearts soft and humble.
[SPEAKER_02]: So one of the ways that we want to encourage you guys to choose to protect your marriage and to protect your family, to battle for it, in prayer.
[SPEAKER_02]: We want to encourage you guys to make that choice and to make it a daily choice.
[SPEAKER_02]: And to know that this is imperative for believers.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it's not an extra, it's not just something,
[SPEAKER_02]: Like go throw it on the top here and that you should do it something that you have you have to do like you have to Bring your hearts and your your spirit before the Lord and come you and with him in that way it's so It's so vital to having a thriving marriage
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, something that we're always going to bring up when it comes to prayer is that our prayer life praying to God is not necessarily our way of trying to get from God what we want or to change God's mind or to like you mentioned last episode using it like a you know he's not a genie, you know just granting our prayer wishes, but more so our prayer life the gift of prayer is that our hearts become aligned with his right.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so having our eyes lined with his eyes, having our ears aligned with his ears and so we have an enemy in this world that wants to destroy our marriages.
[SPEAKER_03]: He's out to seek to kill still and destroy what God will says.
[SPEAKER_03]: And that would be aware and conscious of those things in prayer.
[SPEAKER_03]: Communicating with God is one of the ways.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm a main ways that we do that.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's you know, being in his word to know what he says and then being in relationship with him so that he can speak to us through his word to give us discernment to open our eyes, give us wisdom and so
[SPEAKER_03]: It's so important to be able to see those things and in our own life, you know, for the years, when our eyes are not aligned like that, it's not aligned.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's easy to be distracted.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's easy to not see what's going on.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's easy to see things as something else other than what it is, you know, spiritual battle, spiritual warfare.
[SPEAKER_03]: But praying, having a prayer life, having a desire to come before the Lord, for your marriage, with your spouse,
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, helps keep your eyes on the right spot.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was going to say when you use the word aligned like that, that when we pray, we're aligning our hearts and rules to his, we do that individually in our personal prayer life.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's also such a powerful gift to be able to do that with your spouse.
[SPEAKER_02]: So when the two of you come together and you're praying together, it's
[SPEAKER_02]: a way to maintain your unity.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a way to come together and build up that oneness between you, your spouse and the Lord.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so that's something that we want to focus on today.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the first verse that we're going to bring is Ecclesiastes for 12.
[SPEAKER_02]: It says, and though a man might prevail against one who is alone.
[SPEAKER_02]: two will withstand him.
[SPEAKER_02]: A three-fold chord is not quickly broken.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love this very so much.
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, you had it inscribed in my wedding band, which I thought was very special.
[SPEAKER_02]: But just remembering that the unity that we share in marriage is so intimate and so beautiful.
[SPEAKER_02]: and exclusive to everyone else like you get to pray with your spouse how special is that and come before the creator and the one who established marriage and and made marriage to call upon him to ask you know that the three of you're all in the same page.
[SPEAKER_03]: On the, and I love this verse, and this is used a lot, you know, at weddings, and it's because it's so powerful.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's like, you, your spouse, and God, but I think we need to recognize the truth in this and the depth of this, that for the most part often, we try and do things on our own.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I have my own life and walk, and you have your own life and walk, and you know, we try and mix God in there somewhere, but we need to see our marriages as like, we are stronger together.
[SPEAKER_03]: We are safer together.
[SPEAKER_03]: where I have blind spots you can see, where you have blind spots I can see, where we both have blind spots, God sees perfectly.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so we need to be engaging when you sit down and you and you pray with your spouse.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's when those things become revealed.
[SPEAKER_03]: And like, oh, this, you know, we need to be working on that.
[SPEAKER_03]: We need to see that.
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, God's showing us something.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so, we need to see how powerful it is that, that three-quarters strand that we are with God and cultivating that is, you said vital, like we cannot do without it and we need to recognize the depth of that importance in our life and marriage.
[SPEAKER_03]: So, I wanted to bring up a cool story.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is to point out the power and also the intensity of, like, sometimes we don't see
[SPEAKER_03]: like this is this is where we see we see in the flesh like I tend to see you know in that in our lives is like oh it's this just this choice we made of this action that's going on or we see this fight we're having or we see this hardship that's going on we see anything we want to see we see it with fleshly eyes often but there's this really cool story it's about prayer and it's about having our eyes opened it's in second king six starting in verse 17 actually I'm
[SPEAKER_03]: early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city, and the servants said, Alas, my master, what shall we do?
[SPEAKER_03]: So this is the sir and I believe of Malaysia, and he's fearful because there's this army surrounding them and they don't have an army, they're like we're going to be surely destroyed.
[SPEAKER_03]: And this is kind of like our lives, like we have situations and we have an enemy that actually wants to kill our destroy our families and our lives and marriages.
[SPEAKER_03]: And we have the world and all of the temptations of life surrounding us, and at times we can look at these things in the McMahon.
[SPEAKER_03]: How are we going to do this?
[SPEAKER_03]: What shall we do?
[SPEAKER_03]: As the servant said, but I love what Elijah says, and he says,
[SPEAKER_03]: then Elijah prayed and said, Oh Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.
[SPEAKER_03]: So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man and he saw him behold the mountains.
[SPEAKER_03]: The mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elijah.
[SPEAKER_03]: So imagine he walks out and we saw this in Superbuk.
[SPEAKER_03]: I believe that's a great Superbuk story about this.
[SPEAKER_03]: And the mountain tops you just covered with the armies of God.
[SPEAKER_03]: That you can't see with normalized.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so God was like, open his spiritual life so we can see what truly is going on.
[SPEAKER_03]: that this is not a battle against flesh and blood as the Bible tells us, but one of spirit and power.
[SPEAKER_03]: And also to show who's the one that's going to win.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is God.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so we have an enemy and I may feel like he's even surrounding us at times, but but he, who's with us, he's with you and your, your spouse.
[SPEAKER_03]: is greater than our enemy.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so this is something that we can remind our spouse and to be encouraged by.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're like, hey, we need to be in prayer, we need to be coming together for this because though these things around us may look like they're going to defeat us, these circumstances, these situations, we have someone who's greater and he's on our side.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I love just a bit earlier you said, we have blind spots and some, you know, your spouse can see your blind spots, but in God can see all of it, and I love even the way Elijah prays this prayer that he can see, you know, taking that for our spouse and praying that same prayer for our spouse, open their eyes so they can see, I think that's a really beautiful blessing.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we can see how God's moving in our marriage or a life or in those hearts or consciences.
[SPEAKER_03]: One, I would also imagine like even a situation in your own marriage where maybe there's something that you're supposed to struggle with or you're struggling with them on and asking like Lord, don't tell them what I want.
[SPEAKER_03]: Would you open their eyes to see what you want?
[SPEAKER_03]: So that they can actually have a conviction from the Holy Spirit, not a conviction from you, but from the Holy Spirit.
[SPEAKER_03]: And here's something else awesome is.
[SPEAKER_03]: So Elijah tells him he's like, he is with us, is greater than he is with them.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is what's so powerful as believers in the church.
[SPEAKER_03]: We don't just have a God that is with us.
[SPEAKER_03]: He's inside of us.
[SPEAKER_03]: He lives in us.
[SPEAKER_03]: So when we come together, the Spirit of God is with us and inside of us, indwelling us about ourselves.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's such a powerful thing.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so I want to read this next verse.
[SPEAKER_02]: So first John four four says this, you, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
[SPEAKER_03]: So this sounds very similar to what actually was just telling a servant.
[SPEAKER_03]: But this is John, this is John telling us, like actually like, he was inside you is greater than he was in the world.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so as believers,
[SPEAKER_03]: we should be taking advantage of that advantage.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like God lives at us, like he is greater than our enemy.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like our enemy is, it makes feel powerful.
[SPEAKER_03]: It makes feel like he surrounds us.
[SPEAKER_03]: It makes feel like he has influence.
[SPEAKER_03]: But the God that lives in us is the Victor and most powerful.
[SPEAKER_03]: And has power over all of that, everything.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I wanted to bring that up to highlight the value of our prayer life and who God is to us.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so good.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's good to be reminded of this over and over and over again because one day can lead into the next.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I know how well I know how it feels to run into a circumstance that feels hopeless or frustrating or whatever the stressor or pressure is that gets put on a marriage.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it can be constant or it can come in seasons or an ebb and flow.
[SPEAKER_02]: and we all need to be reminded of this truth and we all need to be reminded that we need to keep our eyes open to how God is moving and we do that through prayer which is so beautiful and so powerful.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was chatting with someone recently and she was sharing how her and her husband know where they are with God they know each other's faith but they've desired and committed to going deeper just recently.
[SPEAKER_02]: and even going through a devotional together and praying together.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was so encouraged when I heard it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just to hear someone else's testimony of how God is moving in their marriage is so cool.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I just wanted to share that with you guys so that you would also be encouraged by hearing that.
[SPEAKER_02]: So because when I heard it, I was like, oh my gosh, they're on the cusp of such greater deeper intimacy in their marriage.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just can't wait for them to experience more.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, I, it's been our story.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like we, we mentioned this, I think we mentioned every episode and how prayer has played a part in our life and mainly the idea again, it's not that we pray and God just, root answers our requests and gives us our wishes, but that it constantly keeps us aligned.
[SPEAKER_03]: It keeps our minds on God and His Word.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was just thinking, in this world we live in today,
[SPEAKER_03]: For a long time, there's just been like, you know, something terrible would happen, a hurricane, you know, an earthquake, these terrorist attack, all of these crazy things that we've seen since we were kids.
[SPEAKER_03]: And you would hear Christians and people will say, hey, well, you know, we're praying for you, a prayers go out.
[SPEAKER_03]: And two things have happened over the last, you know, 10 or so years.
[SPEAKER_03]: People on one side have started saying like, hey, stop.
[SPEAKER_03]: We don't want your prayers because they do nothing and then people on the other side That use them as a way of acting like they're doing something But I think both of those things that they're meant to they degrade the value on the power of actual prayer
[SPEAKER_03]: that when we pray, we are actually engaging with God and interseeding for people on God's behalf.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is a story that happens throughout all of the Bible is someone coming before God on the behalf of other people.
[SPEAKER_03]: And that how powerful that is.
[SPEAKER_03]: And ultimately Jesus Christ becomes the ultimate mediator for us, saving us from our sin, being the God man between us and God.
[SPEAKER_03]: But we get to participate in that.
[SPEAKER_03]: We get to participate in what God is doing in this world in helping people, in healing people, in bringing people ultimately to Christ.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's what His heart is.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not just to make our lives comfortable and happy.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's to bring people to salvation.
[SPEAKER_03]: But I just wanted to point out that prayer isn't just a quit, but it's not just a platitude, it's an actual, powerful, spiritual discipline and a gift that God has given us.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I just don't want to take away from it.
[SPEAKER_03]: the the the the weakening that the enemy wants to do with it and that we say we're going to pray for someone that we do it we say we're going to pray with our spouse that we do it that we and that it's not just a I'll check my box off we did our quote unquote prayer but
[SPEAKER_03]: We're praying like we always tell our kids and guys, do you know who we're talking to right now?
[SPEAKER_03]: We're talking to the King of the universe.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're talking to the creator.
[SPEAKER_03]: Just to reorient them like, hey, this is not just something that we do, but it's actually someone we're meeting with, which is really really important to consider.
[SPEAKER_02]: Awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: We have a verse here from James that talks about how powerful prayer is and just what you're sharing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Chapter five, starting in verse 14, it says, is anyone among you sick, let him call for the elders of the church and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.
[SPEAKER_02]: therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed.
[SPEAKER_02]: The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
[SPEAKER_02]: Which I just love that last part because it's just again going back to the power of prayer and and how God is working in all of this.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah and I want to I want to make another note.
[SPEAKER_03]: We read these things and often it's like, well, it does God really do this.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I would argue, being a pastor of a church for so many years and being a part of the church and so I was a kid, how often do people actually do this?
[SPEAKER_03]: Actually believe what this says, let me call the elders upon and ask them to know it me.
[SPEAKER_03]: But then also, it goes on to confess your sins to one another.
[SPEAKER_03]: and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
[SPEAKER_03]: There's this connection to obedience in walking these things out.
[SPEAKER_03]: Not just like, I believe God can heal me, but like, well, it's actually given me a, like, I should go.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm gonna go ask someone to annoy me with a oil and pray over me.
[SPEAKER_03]: And I feel like there's sin in my life that I need to repent of also.
[SPEAKER_03]: And like that happens at the same time.
[SPEAKER_03]: These, I believe this to be true.
[SPEAKER_03]: I believe God does these things, I believe God means what he says.
[SPEAKER_03]: But I just want to point out that this isn't even the most powerful part of this text.
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, I just read to you from, I think it's second Kings, I can't see anything else about.
[SPEAKER_03]: Second Kings about Elijah and this Elijah's man that was incredibly powerful when it came to prayer.
[SPEAKER_03]: But listen to what he says, what James says about Elijah in context, what we just read.
[SPEAKER_03]: is as verse 17, Elijah was a man with a nature like ours.
[SPEAKER_03]: And he prayed firmly that it might not rain in for three years and six months that did not rain on the earth.
[SPEAKER_03]: He just throws this in.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like it moves on from this after this is that no longer talks about Elijah.
[SPEAKER_03]: But he talks about he's like, if you're sick, call upon the elders and have an way to confess your sins to one another, they'd be prayed for, they may be healed.
[SPEAKER_03]: The prayer of a righteous person is great power as it is working.
[SPEAKER_03]: And then it says, and Elijah.
[SPEAKER_03]: You're like wait, sorry is he saying that we should pray like Elijah?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, that's what he's saying I like that he also like normalizes Elijah like he's a he's a man with a nature like ours He's not normal.
[SPEAKER_03]: He didn't have a special power But he prayed perfectly.
[SPEAKER_03]: It says and so he James used as Elijah who had you go back and in first and second kings and you go you go read the stories of Elijah and Elijah
[SPEAKER_03]: And they're amazing, like these are the most powerful praying, you know, people in the Bible, these prophets.
[SPEAKER_03]: And they do all these amazing things.
[SPEAKER_03]: And essentially James is like, hey, like Elijah was a man like you, pray, pray like him pray Fervently expect it from God and James earlier on says like you know the one who asks But doesn't expect is like a doesn't doubt yeah, but yeah, but if we're if we're asking and doubting at the same time That's the whole point is like yeah, I'm an ask God for something, but I don't think I don't think I don't think he could do that I don't think he's going to do I don't think he wants to do that
[SPEAKER_03]: And so we're doubting in James like you shouldn't make that mention expect anything from God where Elijah expected is like I'm gonna and his heart was also aligned with God's He truly desired God's will to be done not his own will and so it's not he was like okay God bring me money over there and make give me authority and power here and make my you know He his whole life was dedicated to obeying God doing what God wanted to get God the message out
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, in last episode, we talked about the verse that basically calls on our intent and says that if you pray wrong, yeah, like that's why you're not getting what you're praying for.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's important that our hearts are aligned with God and that we are praying for His will to be done.
[SPEAKER_02]: And what's cool about this testimony of what you just shared is that it was a miracle.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that we can be praying with expectations as the Lord aligns our hearts with his, and be praying for wonderful things to happen in our marriage and believe that and expect that.
[SPEAKER_03]: It all goes back to knowing God.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like we can know, God's heart and his will.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so there's going to be things that we pray that are specific, but that doesn't mean that God's going to be, say yes or no to those things.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: But there are things that are experiencing for sure that we know our God's will, like his will is that we have, that we're unified.
[SPEAKER_05]: Right.
[SPEAKER_03]: We could pray for that.
[SPEAKER_03]: And no, but that's what he desires and then what he's going to give us if we trust him and obey him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, exactly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm sure those listening also have testimonies or miracles.
[SPEAKER_02]: Things that they have prayed for and have seen whether in their life or their marriage
[SPEAKER_02]: their family.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, like circumstances that were very difficult that you have a testimony for and I just wanted to highlight that it's so good to remember those things.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so good to remember what God has done and just just praise him for it.
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you have anything that comes to your mind, just lift it up to him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank him.
[SPEAKER_03]: And right, like we talked about last episode, writing it down is a great way to remember that, to memorialize what God has done, because that's again, that's what we're doing.
[SPEAKER_03]: What has God done?
[SPEAKER_03]: And God has said this over and over again, throughout Scripture gives people because we're called a forgetful people.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like humans are forgetful.
[SPEAKER_03]: And he's like, do these things to remember what I did?
[SPEAKER_03]: Remember how I brought you?
[SPEAKER_03]: Remember how I said you?
[SPEAKER_03]: Remember how I took care of you?
[SPEAKER_02]: is so good when you're in the midst of another hardship, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're you're praying another miraculous prayer wondering how is this going to play out?
[SPEAKER_02]: But when you remember what he's already done, it's like, oh, he's got he's got this and it build your trust and it build your your faith in him.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: So, we wanted to share a quick story.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm sure we've shared it in the past.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's just it's such a cool one for us.
[SPEAKER_03]: We wrote about it.
[SPEAKER_03]: You wrote about it.
[SPEAKER_03]: I believe in the life.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'll marriage of God.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's what it was.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so years ago, my wife and I are for it spent four months in Africa.
[SPEAKER_03]: being missionaries.
[SPEAKER_03]: It was a lot of fun.
[SPEAKER_03]: It was really hard.
[SPEAKER_03]: Believe it was like within the first year of our marriage.
[SPEAKER_02]: And four months into our marriage.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, we're like brand new, figuring out a lot of things.
[SPEAKER_03]: But right after I unfortunately had ruled a truck we ran.
[SPEAKER_02]: We were boring.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was an accident.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not a bad driver.
[SPEAKER_02]: We were on a corrugated road and you weren't even going that fast, but it's gone fast enough to roll, though.
[SPEAKER_02]: There was seven of us in the car and a ton of luggage on the top, like tied down.
[SPEAKER_02]: But once we rolled everything was kind of scattered about it.
[SPEAKER_03]: We all survived the truck was mangled, but we drove off in a busted up truck.
[SPEAKER_03]: But anyways, we pulled up to a campsite that night where we were supposed to stay.
[SPEAKER_03]: And this is what's crazy is it was beautiful like it looked like tropical.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're in Malawi, I believe and it's a longness lake.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's just gorgeous and If it wasn't for that car crash, it would have felt like paradise, but we're all like bruised beat up hungry with how many food
[SPEAKER_02]: We're out of money and we're sitting there and we're just We had the way we had parked the car was kind of like in this central point in the campsite But we didn't know because it was dark when we pulled it We just pulled in part so we pulled in part and laid down went to bed And in the morning we all got up and because we didn't have any food or anything We all met on this white sandy beach under this gazebo
[SPEAKER_02]: And we were just praying, and we just thought the first thing that we're going to do is jump into scripture, and one of the friends that we were with, pulled from the songs.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so we were just talking and praying about that.
[SPEAKER_02]: When we saw a couple walking over by our car, like kind of doing laughing around like what?
[SPEAKER_02]: What happened, and how did this fall out of the sky and sitting around like what?
[SPEAKER_02]: What happened, and how did this fall out of the sky and sitting?
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so we walked up and it's this older couple and I believe they were they were from South Africa and but they were just visiting the traveling at the same campsite as us and they're like, what happened?
[SPEAKER_03]: We're like we told the story and
[SPEAKER_03]: And there were like mom and dad.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it was so sweet because they gave us hugs and told us how sorry that they were.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you're poor darlings.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then she goes, you must be hungry.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we all kind of looked at each other without saying anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you were just.
[SPEAKER_02]: And they both invited us over to their campsite, within the hour for some food.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so we go over there.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I mean, you guys, we were really living off like,
[SPEAKER_02]: peanut butter and jelly and, you know, little scraps here and there for a while.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so this was like a feast.
[SPEAKER_02]: They had a bacon and potato stew with salt and pepper.
[SPEAKER_03]: It was so good.
[SPEAKER_03]: Anyways, they just blessed us and love done us and it was like, and then we went swimming afterwards and it totally changed everything about that moment.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was a huge blessing.
[SPEAKER_03]: It was such a little thing, but it was so huge for us.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we couldn't stop talking about how the scripture that we had read that morning and praying that God would provide for us just came to fruition within a matter of seconds really.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's how it felt.
[SPEAKER_03]: When I reminded us of how much God loves us and takes care of us, and again, that goes back to the exact reason why we're encouraging you to pray in your marriages, it reminds us, it orientates our hearts, toward God, and puts us on the same page with them, and that's the ultimate goal is that the Holy Spirit would be like, hey, here's where God, what God's saying, here's what he wants for us, so, so, so, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God wants for us, so that's what God
[SPEAKER_02]: One other thing that I wanted to share is I know not everybody is, you know, well, we're only need of different things, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: So in that moment it was food and comfort.
[SPEAKER_02]: But for a lot of marriages, it's not feeling lonely or getting through different consequences of sin and just facing hardship, like maybe job loss or things with your kids.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so we just wanted to
[SPEAKER_02]: while I was talking with her friend last night and she brought up a testimony of another couple who who's married was strained by the effects of pornography and it was a really devastating story but she said they're they're still together and they're thriving now and all I thought was
[SPEAKER_02]: I can only imagine the amount of prayer the experience together to get through something like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so we just want to reiterate prayer is something that humbles us, it draws us closer together, it brings us before the throne room of God, and I feel like it makes all of the things that feel so impossible and so hard and so heavy lifted even if it's for a brief moment
[SPEAKER_03]: that's a really good reminder.
[SPEAKER_03]: So I got a question for us.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm sure people are thinking this.
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe not.
[SPEAKER_03]: We should pray.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like how do I pray?
[SPEAKER_03]: How long should I pray?
[SPEAKER_03]: Should like if my prayers are short?
[SPEAKER_03]: Like are those powerful?
[SPEAKER_03]: Like if my prayers are long is that better?
[SPEAKER_03]: So it's a good question to consider.
[SPEAKER_03]: And we've always encouraged like prayer at any level.
[SPEAKER_03]: God desires.
[SPEAKER_03]: It desires us to come before Him.
[SPEAKER_03]: We are warned by Jesus not to pray to lengthy meaningless prayers, but that we have hurt in them.
[SPEAKER_00]: That the way the show off prayer.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but the prayer is actually genuine from a heart's like, Lord, this is what I'm feeling and
[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes you can just sit together and like words don't even have to be spoken in order for you to have a heart posture before the Lord.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, we showed that a couple episodes ago that like he cares about it so much that the Holy Spirit does it for us like he prays on our behalf for us.
[SPEAKER_03]: because we don't know what to pray sometimes, often actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: So is there a right length of prayer that doesn't matter?
[SPEAKER_02]: What matters is your heart before the Lord.
[SPEAKER_02]: Consistency matters I would say because you will only be benefited like the more often you come to God in prayer, I think that it would bless you.
[SPEAKER_03]: I would say consistency is the most important thing.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, do we have a posture of prayer?
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, are we having a continuing conversation with God?
[SPEAKER_03]: Are we having a continuing conversation with God together?
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, like, what are you hearing from the Lord?
[SPEAKER_03]: What's God telling you?
[SPEAKER_03]: Romans 12, 10 through 13 says this way.
[SPEAKER_03]: Love one another with brotherly affection.
[SPEAKER_03]: How do one another showing honor just by the way, good things to do in your marriage?
[SPEAKER_03]: Do not be slothful and zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord, rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
[SPEAKER_03]: There it is.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like just like, rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation and don't stop praying.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
[SPEAKER_03]: These things are the marks of a believer.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is how a believer lives in walks and behaves.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's also how you keep God at the center of your marriage, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I'm sure you guys have heard that phrase before like having a God-fendered marriage.
[SPEAKER_02]: We've talked about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: We've wrote about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: But how do you do it?
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, going before the Lord together shows God, hey, we're honoring you and we want you here with us and we want your ways, not ours.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so being able to build up a God-fendered marriage and having him be the priority and him be the one that holds you together like glue.
[SPEAKER_02]: is going to him.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's commuting with him.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's communicating with him in real time about real things.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, saying, Lord, what do you think about this?
[SPEAKER_03]: How do you feel about this?
[SPEAKER_03]: What do you want from us?
[SPEAKER_03]: Those are the kind of questions.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'll only share some of the benefits.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm sure they can extrapolate some of these themselves.
[SPEAKER_02]: So many benefits.
[SPEAKER_03]: But it's good to point them out.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, and this is besides the obvious one, which is growing an intimacy with God and growing an
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going deep, it that really does impact your marriage, but it also benefits because it helps resolve those hard feelings you struggle with during conflict or when there's a hard circumstance maybe something that's really hard to wrap your brain around and you know sometimes in those moments pride will get in the way and so I don't never It's a benefit because it helps bringing maybe it's not like an answer yet
[SPEAKER_02]: way about you that's able to move forward, because you have built trust.
[SPEAKER_02]: Isn't it?
[SPEAKER_03]: Philippians says, and the peace of God will, that's repressive understanding, will guard your hearts and minds and Christ Jesus, that when we pray with things giving, and we seek him for these things, like you said, I love that, it may not be an immediate answer.
[SPEAKER_03]: But for sure, it's going to bring God's peace.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like I promise us that, you know, in Restoration, I'm.
[SPEAKER_02]: Another one is building and encouraging faithfulness.
[SPEAKER_02]: You talked about consistency.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like when you're consistent and prayer, you're building up that growth of being a faithful person.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're showing up, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: You're showing up for your marriage.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're showing up in your relationship with God.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're showing your fitness.
[SPEAKER_03]: It stimulates growth, which kind of goes along the lines of faith on us, but when we pray and we see God's heart on things, like the Holy Spirit's going to use that.
[SPEAKER_03]: He's going to speak to us.
[SPEAKER_03]: He's going to convict our hearts.
[SPEAKER_03]: He's going to encourage us, like, you know, go back to the word, what is what is my word say?
[SPEAKER_03]: And so it stimulates growth and in yourself personally and in your marriage.
[SPEAKER_03]: So if you guys are coming together, praying together, I believe there will be a spiritual growth from that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: We already talked about how prayer lines your heart and your will with the Lord.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so don't need to reiterate that, but it does do that.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it helps build trust.
[SPEAKER_02]: What we talked about faithfulness already, but being able to trust in the Lord.
[SPEAKER_02]: And like, remember when we were talking about those testimonies of miracles, when we see God move in our marriage, when we see Him answer a prayer,
[SPEAKER_02]: that helps build our trust in him so that the next thing that comes along we know the first thing we're gonna do our responses gonna hey let's go pray let's pray about that thing because I know the one who can get me through it I know the one who has the answers I know the one that at least will give me peace while we're trying to wrestle through it right
[SPEAKER_03]: And then, and there's so many more benefits, guys.
[SPEAKER_03]: But we're not praying just because of the benefits.
[SPEAKER_03]: We are told to do it.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's necessary for the believer.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, we cannot survive this life as a believer without being connected to the vine.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, we need to be in his word, and we need to be in prayer, and we need to be in community.
[SPEAKER_03]: And all of these things are, they're necessary for being for abiding a Christ.
[SPEAKER_02]: And here's another truth for all of our marriages.
[SPEAKER_02]: There will never be a lack of things to pray for.
[SPEAKER_02]: So from now until forever, you will not lack things to bring before the Lord.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so make it a habit to pray, pray together.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's something you know that you can keep doing, and it will only benefit you, bless you, and your marriage.
[SPEAKER_03]: we're told to pray for all things.
[SPEAKER_03]: We're told like we should be praying for everything because we wanted to see what's God's heart on this on all of these things.
[SPEAKER_03]: So we could do invite God to walk alongside both of us.
[SPEAKER_03]: What an awesome thing that not that God needs in imitation, like he's God, he's gotten.
[SPEAKER_03]: But we have a choice that we get to make in our life.
[SPEAKER_02]: of who we're going to allow to dictate for me that our life yeah and for me the word invite it's more than just i'm calling upon you because this trouble in my life and i need help which are desperate prayers and they're necessary okay those are important prayers but the inviting guide to walk alongside you is more like hey we want you here like we want you are always we want you to teach us how to be husband and wife we want you to lead us in our
[SPEAKER_02]: everything.
[SPEAKER_03]: I was thinking of a song by NF.
[SPEAKER_03]: We like NF.
[SPEAKER_03]: But he talks about letting fear into his home.
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: He like it knocks the door and lets him and I was thinking like but that's what we want.
[SPEAKER_03]: We want God to come in that he's got access to our our whole life.
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Not just when we need him, not like keeping him our own distance but that's not what he's interested in.
[SPEAKER_03]: He's interested in the the the the some of the the whole.
[SPEAKER_03]: He wants it all.
[SPEAKER_03]: It is.
[SPEAKER_03]: Our marriages, our children, our his, our homuses, our life is his, and he should have access to all of it.
[SPEAKER_03]: Every aspect.
[SPEAKER_02]: So along those lines and with what we just said about how we will not have anything like there's so much to pray for, we won't lack anything to pray for.
[SPEAKER_02]: We want to take a moment and just either remind you because you've already heard it or share it with you because you're new here.
[SPEAKER_02]: But Erin and I have our most recent book is called The Marriage Gift.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's 365 prayers for our marriage.
[SPEAKER_02]: And this was a labor of love on our part.
[SPEAKER_02]: I see that God planted in our hearts because we cultivated a love of prayer in our marriage.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we loved praying together.
[SPEAKER_02]: We've found so much benefit and blessing from it.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it has literally tied us together so tightly.
[SPEAKER_03]: And if you're watching the video, I'm showing it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's a beautiful book actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love the way it turned out, but we wanted to provide a lot of different topics so that a married couple can flip to whatever page that they want to do and find a robust prayer that would lead them on that topic.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so there's a verse for every prayer topic.
[SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, I just do everything else to say about that.
[SPEAKER_02]: We just wanted you to know about it.
[SPEAKER_03]: One of the things that I've heard from people about the books specifically that they love,
[SPEAKER_03]: is we intentionally, well, two things.
[SPEAKER_03]: We called it the marriage gift on purpose because we believe prayer is a powerful gift to your marriage.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so this is a gift to your marriage, but also people have noted that they love that we didn't put dates on a lot of these 365 journals, which I'm nothing wrong with them, but they'll have like, you know, January 1st, January 2nd.
[SPEAKER_02]: We kept going back on fourth on whether we should do their not,
[SPEAKER_03]: We numbered them, but we did not put dates on them.
[SPEAKER_03]: And the reason we did that, and people said this, they appreciate that it doesn't make them feel like they're behind.
[SPEAKER_03]: And so you can use it at any pace you want.
[SPEAKER_03]: And also, as always, with all of our prayer resources that we've created, it's not intended at all.
[SPEAKER_03]: In any way, to replace or become your prayer life.
[SPEAKER_03]: it's more of an inspiration or even a catalyst to get couples praying yeah so we just want to tell you about that because it's so applicable to what we're talking about right now is is a praying for your marriage and that's what this book is specifically for your marriage.
[SPEAKER_02]: Awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, we stated at the beginning of this episode the question of the day why you should be praying for your marriage every single day and building up that habit of prayer.
[SPEAKER_02]: So do you want to share on that?
[SPEAKER_03]: It's part of the process of building a strong marriage foundation.
[SPEAKER_03]: So when we talk about marriages and what it's built on, we just talked about the three things.
[SPEAKER_03]: Prayer, the word of God, oh, and community.
[SPEAKER_03]: So like that, you're not, your marriage is not alone.
[SPEAKER_02]: In talking about the foundation, when we were building our last house, we were remodeling it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Aaron really had a desire to expand the living room knowing that we were going to spend most of our time there as a family.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was pretty small.
[SPEAKER_02]: But so I was grateful for that opportunity.
[SPEAKER_03]: We had about 350 square feet.
[SPEAKER_02]: But during the process, it really took up a lot of extra time.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the reason is the first poor that they did of the foundation to extend it was actually not done.
[SPEAKER_02]: There was some cracks in it which happens.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't build on top of a foundation like that because it's got to be able to bear the weight of everything else that it experiences.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so the reason I'm sharing that is because we had to wait and it took time.
[SPEAKER_02]: But thank God that we saw it for what it was and we were able to move forward with a strong foundation and build up our home and it served us well until we moved out.
[SPEAKER_02]: But prayer, you know, plays a huge role in building up that foundation, that faithful foundation in your marriage, where everything that comes will be, you'll be able to bear that weight, you'll be able to experience hard things, you know that you will be able to get through it together and it per-connects us that way and it helps us.
[SPEAKER_02]: to be able to experience life, whether it's hardship or joy or all the in-betweens, and it also, having that strong foundation of prayer, really contributes to building a legacy that will have an impact long after our time here is done.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, that's our hope.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, we hope that... With our children.
[SPEAKER_02]: With our children.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and you know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: As we pray in marriage, we're actually modeling for our children what they can do in their future marriages, how they can respond to circumstances and the world and relationships.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's all through prayer.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's all going before the Lord in asking him to help us.
[SPEAKER_03]: Another huge reason you should be praying.
[SPEAKER_03]: Every day, moment by moment, with your spouse, is it at firms, your emotional and spiritual and physical well-being in your marriage?
[SPEAKER_03]: It strengthens those, it reaffirms those connections, it builds up that unity.
[SPEAKER_03]: So coming together and having that a you have to communicate and you communicate together with God and you it's intimate and it's private It's maybe not always private sometimes you do we do in front of our kids and friends, so But it builds at emotional spiritual physical bond with your spouse and with God
[SPEAKER_02]: So with all of that said, let's choose to be husband and wives who pray together, who pray for their marriage and pray for their family.
[SPEAKER_02]: At the end of every episode, we have been sharing a marriage after God quote from our one of our other books.
[SPEAKER_02]: It says prayer is an action toward unity that should not be neglected.
[SPEAKER_03]: Should not be neglected.
[SPEAKER_03]: Can't neglect it.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we also go through these discussion questions that are pulled from the husband and wife devotionals.
[SPEAKER_02]: Today's question is, how does praying for your spouse build a God-centered marriage, which we did?
[SPEAKER_03]: Where do you talk about that?
[SPEAKER_03]: It's meeting everything to God.
[SPEAKER_03]: It gets you both on the same page.
[SPEAKER_03]: Humbles you.
[SPEAKER_03]: I believe the Holy Spirit uses those moments to speak to us, to remind us of the truth, the point is back to God's word.
[SPEAKER_03]: So.
[SPEAKER_02]: Nice.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then the last one, what changes need to be made for you to be praying together on a daily basis?
[SPEAKER_03]: What do you want to do?
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I think that we do pretty good, like I said, sometimes seasons mostly, but I, you know, even if we did 100% well, I always think that we could do better, especially with something like this because it's such a powerful and cool thing that we have the opportunity to be doing.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I've loved praying with you over the last 20 years, but my hope is that we can do it even more, moving forward.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love doing it like these episodes that we do you guys are so encouraging to us always talk about it and just yes love the opportunity to do this and I agree Can always do we can always I always do better when we can always grow grow and these areas and disciplines
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, the call of action this week to encourage you guys to step out and face with your spouse is initiate praying together over your marriage.
[SPEAKER_02]: So cover some of these topics or different ones depending on what you're going through right now, but you can pray about your health, finances, intimacy, family, maybe your job, forgiveness.
[SPEAKER_03]: you name it.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I mean, again, pray for all things, but you know what's going on in your life and where you guys can sit down and say, hey, we don't have answers to these things, but we know the one who does, let's go to him together and we're doing it until we hear an answer.
[SPEAKER_02]: don't worry about stumbling over your words and whether they're right or not, don't worry about how long or short your prayer is.
[SPEAKER_02]: The point here is to humble yourself, go before the Lord together, and soak it up.
[SPEAKER_03]: Enjoy it.
[SPEAKER_03]: Love that.
[SPEAKER_03]: Let me pray for us.
[SPEAKER_03]: Father God, we thank you so much for the gift of prayer.
[SPEAKER_03]: Lord that right now, even as we're recording this podcast, we can speak to you directly.
[SPEAKER_03]: We can come to you.
[SPEAKER_03]: with humble hearts and we can ask you Lord to work in us and to change us and I pray for our marriage.
[SPEAKER_03]: I pray that you would help me in Jennifer to be the husband and wife you created us to be that we would learn to love each other better to be examples of Christ, to each other, to point each other back to the truth every single moment of every single day, Lord, that we would fight for each other and the spirit against the enemy and his schemes Lord that we
[SPEAKER_03]: in with each other, Father God.
[SPEAKER_03]: I pray that you'd help us to be better examples for a kids and what this looks like so that they would have that example to take into their own marriages in their lives.
[SPEAKER_03]: I pray for those listening, Lord, that you would pray your spirit on to the more, that you would comfort them.
[SPEAKER_03]: Convict the hearts where they need to be convicted, encourage them to come together as a couple to pray.
[SPEAKER_03]: to seek your face, to enter your throne room, God, without fear, but with boldness, trusting that you listen and you hear your people's prayers.
[SPEAKER_03]: And we thank you that you do that.
[SPEAKER_03]: And we love you and we just pray that we would pray more in Jesus' name, amen.
[SPEAKER_03]: Thank you all for joining us on this week 22 of this 30 week marriage prayer devotional.
[SPEAKER_03]: Series, we love you all and we pray that you will be with us next time.