WEBVTT 00:00.031 --> 00:01.313 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to episode 502. 00:01.333 --> 00:12.710 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're someone that is fed up with trying different diets with trying to get rich, with trying to create a successful life, then I want you to listen to this episode because this isn't just about health. 00:12.730 --> 00:24.688 [SPEAKER_00]: It's about something that is fundamentally broken with the messages that we receive, about how to show up in the world as parents, as people, as bodies, as humans, that are trying to create success for ourselves. 00:24.668 --> 00:29.194 [SPEAKER_00]: It's taken me a long time to figure this out for myself, and in some ways I feel like a bit of a hypocrite. 00:29.214 --> 00:33.760 [SPEAKER_00]: So, if you're interested in figuring the game out a little bit faster than I did, then, Junior. 00:35.783 --> 00:40.369 [SPEAKER_00]: Even as a scientist, the nutritionist, I was secretly trapped in binge eating and hooked on sugar. 00:40.429 --> 00:44.474 [SPEAKER_00]: And let's be real, the so-called solutions can feel overwhelming. 00:44.935 --> 00:49.100 [SPEAKER_00]: Calorie counting restrictive diets, weight loss pills, surgery, and even injections. 00:49.901 --> 00:54.287 [SPEAKER_00]: By many lands down and the truth is, more nutrition facts are the answer. 00:54.267 --> 00:56.911 [SPEAKER_00]: It's understanding why we eat the way we do. 00:57.492 --> 01:00.316 [SPEAKER_00]: And you don't need to be perfect to achieve great health either. 01:00.356 --> 01:03.020 [SPEAKER_00]: That shift changed everything for me. 01:03.060 --> 01:12.554 [SPEAKER_00]: And now I share it here as the host of the real weight loss coach podcast, where it's my mission to help 1 million people break free from the yo-yo diet cycle for good. 01:12.995 --> 01:22.789 [SPEAKER_00]: By bringing you the conversations that really matter in nutrition, health and psychology, and I'm not afraid to challenge mainstream health advice when it doesn't stack up. 01:22.769 --> 01:23.299 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you ready? 01:23.870 --> 01:24.645 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's begin. 01:26.448 --> 01:56.455 [SPEAKER_00]: But something healthy friends welcome back to another episode of the real weight loss coach podcast where despite the title we talk about all sorts of topics that relate to health and I think especially when it comes to obesity or being overweight or managing your body in any way that conversation is far greater than calories and food which is why this podcast covers every area of health from holistic health and all of the relevant woo woo degrees of difference that exists there all the way to different type of scientific facts and evidence and research and medications and that kind of 01:56.435 --> 01:58.640 [SPEAKER_00]: think, with a heavy lean into the natural. 01:58.821 --> 02:02.068 [SPEAKER_00]: Now something that I want to talk about today is getting me really fired up. 02:02.108 --> 02:12.132 [SPEAKER_00]: I spoke to my client community about this a little bit earlier and it's the idea that we have been sold alive and the hypocrisy that I'm about to display is laughable. 02:12.112 --> 02:36.448 [SPEAKER_00]: We've been sold a lie that doing things by yourself is a good idea and is a measure of success and I say hypocrisy because I sit here in front of a camera under lights with a nice background by myself in a room by myself in a building by myself and what I've learned over my journey might not be applicable to everyone but I'm pretty confident it's going to be applicable to a lot of people listening. 02:36.428 --> 02:38.691 [SPEAKER_00]: especially if you are trying to get healthy. 02:39.031 --> 02:59.196 [SPEAKER_00]: Especially if you're trying to be successful in your career, especially if you are trying to be rich and earn a bunch of money because the economy's totally cooked right now and there's no issue with wanting lots of money because with lots of money comes choices and freedoms and opportunities, it doesn't solve the person you are, but it does fix a couple of problems that many of us are facing now. 02:59.176 --> 03:00.439 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not meant to do this alone. 03:00.619 --> 03:03.346 [SPEAKER_00]: You've heard me say time and time again, we are pack animals. 03:03.627 --> 03:05.491 [SPEAKER_00]: We are tribal animals. 03:05.852 --> 03:16.257 [SPEAKER_00]: And depending on the bit of research you look at, the most commonly quoted number is that humans can manage about 150 relationships and sort of keep tabs on about that many people at any one time. 03:16.237 --> 03:20.242 [SPEAKER_00]: and that number is about whether the tribe or the pack begins to break down. 03:20.543 --> 03:31.777 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that to me gives us a bit of an indicator that if life involves more than that than it's overwhelming, but the other thing that we forget to look at is that if life involves less than that, what are the consequences for me? 03:31.897 --> 03:41.029 [SPEAKER_00]: Now there's varying degrees of personality out there, but most of us on some level are pack animals and tribal animals and want to be a part of things greater than ourselves. 03:41.009 --> 04:01.127 [SPEAKER_00]: Which is why for me running this podcast and running this health business has actually been quite challenging because it does not work in favor of my evolutionary biology, which is to be part of a tribe and part of a pack sure I have team members there overseas their fairly disconnected from the day to day happenings of what goes on here in my own life at my own house. 04:01.107 --> 04:03.851 [SPEAKER_00]: And I see this as well with people that are on their health journey. 04:04.032 --> 04:07.277 [SPEAKER_00]: And their business journey, and their wealth journey, and pick a journey. 04:07.497 --> 04:08.839 [SPEAKER_00]: It's somewhere along the line. 04:08.879 --> 04:13.086 [SPEAKER_00]: It has become a mark of success or nobility that you did at alone. 04:13.186 --> 04:13.787 [SPEAKER_00]: Woohoo! 04:14.108 --> 04:16.131 [SPEAKER_00]: I got to the top of the mountain by myself. 04:16.311 --> 04:19.977 [SPEAKER_00]: The interesting thing is, most of the people on top of the mountain, they didn't fall there. 04:19.957 --> 04:24.325 [SPEAKER_00]: one they climbed, but two, along the way, they usually had a hand or a leg up. 04:24.485 --> 04:31.478 [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody at each step of the way was putting their hands out so that they could place their foot in and they could boost them up to the next level, right? 04:31.618 --> 04:39.973 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you don't fall on top of the mountain, nor do you climb there by yourself, unless you are in the very small category of actual psychopaths. 04:39.953 --> 04:47.967 [SPEAKER_00]: or extremely extremely dedicated people, but even our most successful athletes and military personnel did not do it alone. 04:48.227 --> 05:00.949 [SPEAKER_00]: And yet we are sitting in this world being told on various levels and Instagram and TikTok are perfect examples that displaying solo success is the pinnacle of personal achievement. 05:00.929 --> 05:08.583 [SPEAKER_00]: only to arrive there or only to fall apart on the way to that goal, realizing it's really fucking hard to do it by yourself. 05:08.864 --> 05:20.305 [SPEAKER_00]: And actually, even if you fail, if you had a tribe around you, at least you had a story and at least you created a memory and at least there was shared struggle and pain and heartache. 05:20.285 --> 05:26.092 [SPEAKER_00]: because that sharing of the problem and that sharing of the burden makes it a lot more worthwhile. 05:26.273 --> 05:49.482 [SPEAKER_00]: And to bring this back to your health is one thing I think that happens as a result of shame and embarrassment and disgrace and disgust that we have in our own bodies and for our own choices is that we're meant to be in hiding as if nobody can see us in our home and then all of a sudden come our 50th birthday or the day we get married or our son or daughter's wedding, we just appear 30 kilograms lighter. 05:49.462 --> 05:54.852 [SPEAKER_00]: Lost a hundred pounds, fixed all of my skin imperfections, you know, whatever it is. 05:55.073 --> 06:00.824 [SPEAKER_00]: But so very often we get to set event and we appear, maybe in a worse state than we start it. 06:01.084 --> 06:05.192 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think a major factor of this is most people are like me. 06:05.172 --> 06:12.740 [SPEAKER_00]: They've been using a manifesto about how to be successful and how to be someone in the world and how to have impact, which says do it alone. 06:12.921 --> 06:16.845 [SPEAKER_00]: Do it alone, you don't need help, you don't need support, you don't need a community. 06:17.145 --> 06:18.206 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's wrong. 06:18.407 --> 06:19.728 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's keeping you fat. 06:19.868 --> 06:21.090 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's keeping you sad. 06:21.230 --> 06:22.691 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's keeping you depressed. 06:22.711 --> 06:26.736 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's keeping you from asking all of the questions of why is life so hard. 06:26.996 --> 06:29.759 [SPEAKER_00]: And this comes down to fundamentally two things. 06:30.119 --> 06:32.462 [SPEAKER_00]: One, checking out and switching off. 06:32.442 --> 06:40.224 [SPEAKER_00]: of the idiot box that we walk around with in our left or right hand that lives in our pocket or our handbag or our brush strap or wherever you put your phone. 06:40.404 --> 06:42.791 [SPEAKER_00]: Switching off from that as often as possible. 06:42.911 --> 06:47.464 [SPEAKER_00]: The second thing is having the courage to step into community whether that be 06:47.444 --> 06:52.712 [SPEAKER_00]: and real life or online, being a part of something where you are held socially accountable. 06:52.772 --> 06:58.901 [SPEAKER_00]: And when I say held accountable, that might not mean that people come and tap you on the shout, shoulder and say, did you lose weight this week? 06:59.001 --> 07:00.543 [SPEAKER_00]: Did you eat your broccoli this week? 07:00.684 --> 07:02.226 [SPEAKER_00]: Did you save your money this week? 07:02.246 --> 07:06.432 [SPEAKER_00]: What I mean is that social communities and groups of people, 07:06.412 --> 07:11.380 [SPEAKER_00]: have standards and they have built-in accountability mechanisms by simply being there. 07:11.481 --> 07:20.936 [SPEAKER_00]: And the reason you know that is because if things go wrong or things go in the wrong direction for you, you feel shame, you feel embarrassment, you feel disappointed in yourself. 07:21.017 --> 07:23.661 [SPEAKER_00]: And those emotions are good and healthy. 07:23.641 --> 07:50.880 [SPEAKER_00]: signals from your body to your brain to let you know I've got to make different choices or I've got to change my group and sadly in a world where we are encouraged to retreat into solo independence most people retreat they go outside less they stop going out to social events they don't want to be seen in photos and what this does is actually the opposite it encourages all of the flaws and imperfections about yourself that you hate it encourages them to be 07:50.860 --> 08:03.496 [SPEAKER_00]: more and more and more and more a part of your daily life, which exacerbates the problem, insert your your dieting, insert perpetual weight loss, insert mental health struggles, because most of these things are fixed in community. 08:03.656 --> 08:13.628 [SPEAKER_00]: So as of this podcast, I want to abolish the idea that you are meant to do it alone, that you are meant to suddenly appear as a super sexy, amazing version of yourself. 08:13.608 --> 08:16.592 [SPEAKER_00]: because nobody saw it coming because you did it secretly and private. 08:16.712 --> 08:27.628 [SPEAKER_00]: And to remember that all the people that are somebody on social media, they got a bunch of people behind them, supporting them, whether it's daddy's money, whether it's husband holding the camera, whether it's the kids that they're making perform. 08:27.748 --> 08:30.933 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not happy about that, but I'll rant about that another day. 08:30.953 --> 08:36.060 [SPEAKER_00]: But you get the point, is that more than that individual are invested in this person's vision and goal. 08:36.200 --> 08:38.063 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's the same with your health. 08:38.043 --> 08:39.145 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the same with your business. 08:39.205 --> 08:40.226 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the same with your career. 08:40.246 --> 08:41.808 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the same with your relationship. 08:41.828 --> 08:43.350 [SPEAKER_00]: You cannot do it alone. 08:43.491 --> 08:45.333 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you can kudos to you. 08:45.574 --> 08:48.057 [SPEAKER_00]: You're one of the 0.1% amazing. 08:48.097 --> 08:48.938 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking to you. 08:49.239 --> 09:01.536 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking to everybody else that's a human animal that is attracted to tribes attracted to packs and even if you're an introvert sometimes you're happy that is sitting in silence in a room of people sometimes introverts love libraries. 09:01.516 --> 09:08.227 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes introverts want to spend time with their partner when nobody speaks, but the important part is they want the person in the room. 09:08.307 --> 09:09.489 [SPEAKER_00]: They do not want to be alone. 09:09.609 --> 09:13.736 [SPEAKER_00]: A loan time is great from time to time, but we are pack tribal animals. 09:13.976 --> 09:27.118 [SPEAKER_00]: And one thing that we have forgotten about being a part of that pack or that tribe is that the accountability that is built into society that is provided by the pack or the group is actually hugely beneficial to the state of your body. 09:27.098 --> 09:43.470 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, one caveat that I want to put in here is in a modern world where everybody's soft and weak and pathetic, you have to choose your community and your pack and your tribe wisely, because there are packs and tribes and communities and families everywhere and activists that are offended by fucking everything. 09:43.450 --> 09:51.525 [SPEAKER_00]: and that you know, let us say the word fat, you know, let us say the world suicide, you know, let us say the word abuse, and you know, let us say he or she, it's fucking ridiculous. 09:51.706 --> 10:04.750 [SPEAKER_00]: So make sure that you actually pick a community that has a standard that you wish to attain or be held to, because if you are a part of a community, which the West is definitely Australia and definitely super left wing Melbourne, where in 10:04.730 --> 10:10.058 [SPEAKER_00]: everybody's offended by everything and you're not allowed to classify or categorize anything. 10:10.158 --> 10:17.310 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like any expression of negativity in any way is trauma on some level in wounds people and they go get to go home and be the victim. 10:17.390 --> 10:24.561 [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm not saying that we shouldn't acknowledge that people are victims of circumstance and situations and happenings and other people. 10:24.541 --> 10:48.810 [SPEAKER_00]: What this whole podcast is about is about you taking responsibility to bring this stuff into your own hands and say I was a victim of something or maybe I wasn't or maybe I was just a victim of fucking advertising and marketing and the chocolate companies just did a really good job whatever it is it's time to say I want to step up to another level social accountability has functioned in society successfully for thousands upon thousands upon thousands of years. 10:48.790 --> 10:49.932 [SPEAKER_00]: It is not going away. 10:50.152 --> 10:51.695 [SPEAKER_00]: The internet is not going to make it go away. 10:51.856 --> 10:53.759 [SPEAKER_00]: ChatGBT is not going to make it go away. 10:53.999 --> 11:01.553 [SPEAKER_00]: And governments and social movements that encourage a lower standard and victim mentality and all sorts of confusing language. 11:01.733 --> 11:08.706 [SPEAKER_00]: All that does is perpetuate your health problems and your inability to provide and be who you need to be for your friends and your family and your children. 11:08.686 --> 11:15.556 [SPEAKER_00]: So with that, what I want you to take away from this podcast is select a community or two or three for different areas of your life. 11:15.716 --> 11:17.239 [SPEAKER_00]: I've got one personally for my health. 11:17.579 --> 11:20.563 [SPEAKER_00]: I've got two for my health actually when it comes to fitness and exercise. 11:20.744 --> 11:36.567 [SPEAKER_00]: I've also got two or three communities when it comes to business and that type of thing that I attach myself to and I'm being much more intentional about doing that because I've learnt significant lessons over the last, however many years that running a business and running a podcast like this by myself literally destroys my soul. 11:36.547 --> 11:42.698 [SPEAKER_00]: I've had to make some big changes on my side of the world to be able to actually make sure that it's worth getting up in my own head. 11:42.918 --> 11:48.828 [SPEAKER_00]: And part of that is getting around better people that inspire me and that hold me to a standard to live up to. 11:48.888 --> 11:53.897 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I want you to start picking those areas of your life, whether it's wealth, whether it's work, whether it's fit 11:53.877 --> 11:54.858 [SPEAKER_00]: exercise. 11:54.878 --> 11:56.960 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, the whole point of this podcast is health and wellness. 11:57.201 --> 12:02.306 [SPEAKER_00]: And all of the things that I just mentioned are related to your health and wellness because the number one reason for divorce is money. 12:02.427 --> 12:10.436 [SPEAKER_00]: So figure out your work and figure out your money and make sure that you pick a path that leans into the strengths that you have and means holding a standard is doable. 12:10.576 --> 12:11.917 [SPEAKER_00]: Same with your health, same with your fitness. 12:12.077 --> 12:14.380 [SPEAKER_00]: If you hate health and fitness, I'm sure you like something. 12:14.400 --> 12:15.361 [SPEAKER_00]: You're a human being. 12:15.441 --> 12:20.627 [SPEAKER_00]: The idea that you don't like exercise is one that I would pathologically argue against. 12:20.607 --> 12:22.729 [SPEAKER_00]: because you're designed to move. 12:22.790 --> 12:34.764 [SPEAKER_00]: You might not be designed to be, you say in bolt and go to the Olympics, but you were given muscles and you were given joints and you were given bones to move through time and space and strengthen the body for the time that you are on this earth. 12:34.784 --> 12:39.549 [SPEAKER_00]: So find something health and wellness related, walking group, you know, whatever it is, hiking groups. 12:39.569 --> 12:43.234 [SPEAKER_00]: Something that you can do multiple times a week that means it's gonna be a struggle. 12:43.254 --> 12:44.315 [SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna have to push yourself. 12:44.335 --> 12:47.398 [SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna have to self-discover new levels of your capacity. 12:47.559 --> 12:50.462 [SPEAKER_00]: And obviously don't do this to the point of injury, 12:50.442 --> 13:09.910 [SPEAKER_00]: and the same with your relationship be around other relationships that hold a standard that you want to adhere to that you want to be held to and PS being held to standards is uncomfortable and fucking annoying half of the time because it takes effort to level up especially if your identity doesn't naturally pertain to being or living in that standard. 13:09.970 --> 13:11.472 [SPEAKER_00]: This is part of identity change. 13:11.452 --> 13:16.362 [SPEAKER_00]: But a lot of people in the health of wellness and personal development space, they want to talk about change a lot. 13:16.382 --> 13:17.424 [SPEAKER_00]: They want to understand it. 13:17.444 --> 13:20.690 [SPEAKER_00]: They want to get really deep on the mechanisms and the causation and the trauma. 13:20.871 --> 13:26.161 [SPEAKER_00]: Actually, most of the work is done by sitting in the discomfort of doing something that doesn't feel right. 13:26.302 --> 13:27.424 [SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't feel familiar. 13:27.464 --> 13:28.566 [SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't feel comfortable. 13:28.546 --> 13:40.579 [SPEAKER_00]: At the same time as learning to understand yourself, you should be doing the doing, which is like, I'm gonna learn a little bit and then I'm gonna do a lot because the perpetual cycle of showing up and doing the doing, that is what actually changes your identity. 13:40.679 --> 13:44.103 [SPEAKER_00]: Thinking the heaps of stuff doesn't do shit for changing your identity. 13:44.163 --> 13:54.254 [SPEAKER_00]: It's useful to understand it and intellectualize it, but the physical showing up in a place that you are not familiar with or in an environment or a community that is not what you would have normally done. 13:54.495 --> 13:57.658 [SPEAKER_00]: That is where identity change begins to, begins to happen. 13:57.638 --> 14:01.182 [SPEAKER_00]: But you've got to persist through the discomfort of feeling like these aren't my people. 14:01.222 --> 14:02.383 [SPEAKER_00]: This isn't where I meant to be. 14:02.523 --> 14:03.425 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not meant for this. 14:04.025 --> 14:04.706 [SPEAKER_00]: You're a human. 14:05.086 --> 14:07.469 [SPEAKER_00]: And all of those thoughts come up in every single one of us. 14:07.689 --> 14:10.472 [SPEAKER_00]: So you need to learn to navigate those and go again tomorrow. 14:10.773 --> 14:10.993 [SPEAKER_00]: All right. 14:11.113 --> 14:14.557 [SPEAKER_00]: If you've enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend, share it with anyone that wants to hear it. 14:14.617 --> 14:17.520 [SPEAKER_00]: If you feel like this is an awesome episode, five stars is awesome. 14:17.600 --> 14:18.782 [SPEAKER_00]: A review is even better. 14:18.882 --> 14:20.624 [SPEAKER_00]: Keeps this podcast alive. 14:20.804 --> 14:23.527 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you got something useful and can actually make some serious change. 14:23.687 --> 14:25.249 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's see that happen. 14:27.035 --> 14:28.457 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, thanks for listening to the show. 14:28.677 --> 14:34.565 [SPEAKER_00]: If you enjoyed this episode or learned anything at all, the gift of your five-star rating would be incredibly helpful. 14:34.665 --> 14:36.928 [SPEAKER_00]: And what's even more powerful is if you write a review. 14:37.169 --> 14:40.874 [SPEAKER_00]: You can do it below each episode on Spotify, every time an episode comes out. 14:41.054 --> 14:45.239 [SPEAKER_00]: And inside Apple Podcast, simply find the main page of this show with all the episodes on it. 14:45.400 --> 14:50.106 [SPEAKER_00]: Scroll for the bottom, hit write a review, share your amazing feedback, and then hit send. 14:50.086 --> 14:57.037 [SPEAKER_00]: It helps this show grow tremendously and allows me to successfully invite bigger and more famous guests each time we do the show. 14:57.337 --> 15:02.105 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, thank you for helping us climb the charts, climb the algorithm and help more people. 15:02.125 --> 15:04.669 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh and by the way, I have a short disclaimer as well. 15:04.689 --> 15:10.137 [SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to quickly remind you that the information provided on this podcast is for general informational purposes only. 15:10.117 --> 15:19.769 [SPEAKER_00]: While we strive to bring you accurate and up-to-date content, it's important to note that a lot of this is mixed with opinions, stories, and ideas not supported by mainstream science or medicine. 15:20.009 --> 15:25.516 [SPEAKER_00]: Any advice or suggestions should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 15:25.816 --> 15:31.403 [SPEAKER_00]: Always consult a healthcare provider before making any decisions about the health and wellness of you and your family. 15:31.664 --> 15:34.687 [SPEAKER_00]: Remember to the what works for one person may not work for another. 15:34.888 --> 15:39.313 [SPEAKER_00]: And just as we promote on the show, each person is responsible for their own health decisions. 15:39.293 --> 15:43.368 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for tuning into the How to Not Get Sickened Eye podcast and now the next episode. 15:43.731 --> 15:44.477 [SPEAKER_00]: Here it is.