WEBVTT 00:00.031 --> 00:04.155 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, hey, welcome back to the Brown Girl Self Care podcast. 00:04.175 --> 00:15.925 [SPEAKER_00]: My name is Bree and in today's episode, I want to give you some words of, I guess, wisdom or intuition advice, sisterly advice, auntie advice, girlfriend advice. 00:15.945 --> 00:28.536 [SPEAKER_00]: If I was your sister, your auntie, your, your best year one of, someone in your inner circle, this is some advice that I would give you right 00:28.516 --> 00:30.519 [SPEAKER_00]: with all the love in the world. 00:32.301 --> 00:41.935 [SPEAKER_00]: What I would tell you is that right now, with everything that is going on, right now in this year, 2026, with everything that is going on. 00:43.498 --> 00:50.828 [SPEAKER_00]: Now is not the time for distractions, and by distractions, I mean, 00:51.922 --> 01:02.878 [SPEAKER_00]: you are going to need to give up some of the sideline stuff that is keeping you weighed down right now in this season. 01:04.400 --> 01:21.085 [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to release some things, let some things go, things that you are doing for convenience, that really are keeping you or going to hinder you this year. 01:22.702 --> 01:42.250 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like there is a chance or an opportunity for us to really not only put ourselves first, but put ourselves in a situation or or put ourselves in a position, I should say, to really get what we came for. 01:42.290 --> 01:49.941 [SPEAKER_00]: If you catch my drive, really set ourselves up or put ourselves 01:51.220 --> 01:56.128 [SPEAKER_00]: have the type of life that we want to have, live the type of life that we want to live. 01:57.451 --> 02:10.473 [SPEAKER_00]: But it will be impossible for some of us because we are allowing distraction and comfort to keep us in kind of like with the wool over our eyes. 02:11.375 --> 02:15.642 [SPEAKER_00]: We refuse or we're not allowing ourselves to see 02:17.140 --> 02:30.093 [SPEAKER_00]: For example, where we are or your current circumstances for what it really is and or you're allowing maybe embarrassment or pain to kind of like put the wool over your eyes as well. 02:31.254 --> 02:43.587 [SPEAKER_00]: And so you're going to get to the end of 2026 and you're going to be very disappointed because the distractions that are distracting you are just doing what they were designed to do. 02:44.883 --> 02:51.550 [SPEAKER_00]: So, maybe your distraction is embarrassment or fear or anxiety, okay? 02:52.011 --> 02:53.633 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is not a fingerprint episode. 02:53.813 --> 02:56.076 [SPEAKER_00]: I experience anxiety and fear. 02:57.037 --> 03:13.455 [SPEAKER_00]: Listen, I feel like I was in a freeze mode for several parts of 2025, and I had to really sit with that because as much as I'm aware, I'm not aware all the time 03:14.026 --> 03:15.108 [SPEAKER_00]: in other areas. 03:16.069 --> 03:24.902 [SPEAKER_00]: But with the move and everything and just life, you know, in general, I ended up being in freeze mode and certain in small portions of my life. 03:24.963 --> 03:31.653 [SPEAKER_00]: And I really had to take time to process that right. 03:31.853 --> 03:33.015 [SPEAKER_00]: So that was my distraction. 03:33.075 --> 03:36.300 [SPEAKER_00]: It was it was kind of like freeze mode. 03:37.241 --> 03:38.523 [SPEAKER_00]: I was feeling stuck. 03:40.426 --> 03:41.147 [SPEAKER_00]: And so. 03:42.747 --> 04:03.121 [SPEAKER_00]: I have decided that with no shame, no embarrassment, what I am going to do, because I'm feeling like I'm just now starting to thought out, it's wild, what freeze mold does, especially if you're a childhood, you have like CPTSD, you know, that's anyway. 04:03.161 --> 04:05.425 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to get off topic because you know I'll be talking. 04:05.806 --> 04:06.527 [SPEAKER_00]: But, um, 04:08.633 --> 04:35.620 [SPEAKER_00]: I decided that this year very soon I am going to get a part-time job and you may be thinking well that's not a big deal well it's not really in the grand scheme of things but it is for me because I haven't worked a job since 2019 not not a job yeah not a job job since 2019 I have been doing brown girl self care since maybe 2018 2019 somewhere in there 04:35.600 --> 04:48.277 [SPEAKER_00]: quit my job in 2019, and it's been what like six, seven years since I've stepped to foot into an office, a nine to five, you know, that type of structured environment. 04:48.998 --> 05:00.814 [SPEAKER_00]: But I realized I was in freeze mode for a few months out of last year because I, I, 05:03.022 --> 05:07.808 [SPEAKER_00]: this idea that, if I, how can I explain this? 05:07.848 --> 05:14.617 [SPEAKER_00]: I got distracted by this idea that going back to work had to mean something about me. 05:16.159 --> 05:18.442 [SPEAKER_00]: Going back to work had to mean something about me. 05:18.482 --> 05:22.207 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I mean by, like, this free smoke. 05:22.387 --> 05:32.640 [SPEAKER_00]: I, I was in free smoke because even though I was very functional, still doing the podcast and, you know, living live and things like that, I wasn't really allowing myself to 05:34.696 --> 05:47.019 [SPEAKER_00]: take a heart look at what my life could be like if I just winning did some part time stuff because my goal this year is to as much as possible get out of debt. 05:48.081 --> 05:51.507 [SPEAKER_00]: But as I've mentioned before, it's hard to get out of debt when you, you know, 05:52.887 --> 05:56.115 [SPEAKER_00]: your life is laughing, you know. 05:56.155 --> 05:58.862 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that was the freeze mold for me. 05:58.942 --> 06:06.782 [SPEAKER_00]: It was just me thinking that I could somehow force things to happen in this one area of my life. 06:06.822 --> 06:07.784 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's just not the case. 06:07.844 --> 06:10.170 [SPEAKER_00]: I was distracted by this idea that. 06:12.344 --> 06:35.213 [SPEAKER_00]: the way that I generate income has to look a certain way and that if it doesn't then it's an embarrassment it's like a black mark red mark black mark whatever red mark red mark on my on my my report card or on my life and that is that is a huge line that is a huge distraction so 06:36.593 --> 06:54.676 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a lot of things that I want to do, including obviously getting out of debt, but also having somebody play a sliding case, I personally decide that for a time, I want to leave the states, the U.S. and go, I don't know, overseas or who knows, Thailand, somewhere. 06:55.276 --> 06:55.917 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, Mexico. 06:56.298 --> 06:57.319 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 06:57.299 --> 07:09.532 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, but go somewhere else outside of this country for a time where I will feel not only safer, but the cost of living makes much more sense. 07:10.713 --> 07:26.310 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm saying that with the green assault because there is no other country, there is no country that is perfect, especially not if you are a black woman, 07:26.290 --> 07:34.863 [SPEAKER_00]: African-American women, depending on where you go and who you know, like we are not necessarily always liked. 07:35.784 --> 07:44.097 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, there is still a lot of racism out there in colorism and just a whole bunch of stuff, but all that to say. 07:45.123 --> 07:50.969 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not like the U.S. is winning any, any awards here. 07:51.750 --> 07:52.030 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 07:52.891 --> 08:09.828 [SPEAKER_00]: So I want to be able to put some money aside so that in case I want to just leave for a year and do this podcast from a one bedroom condo in Mexico where I'm paying you know $800 a month to live including healthcare. 08:09.848 --> 08:12.210 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be able to do that. 08:12.663 --> 08:26.020 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be able to do that, but I, again, was allowing myself to be distracted, kind of like stuck or frozen into place by this idea that the way that I receive has to look one way. 08:26.100 --> 08:31.446 [SPEAKER_00]: And I didn't even realize that that was a belief that I was holding onto, which is incredibly wild to me. 08:31.567 --> 08:33.769 [SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, it is what it is. 08:34.270 --> 08:39.476 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, this is why we have these conversations or UNI, or I technically, but you know what I mean? 08:39.496 --> 08:41.539 [SPEAKER_00]: We have this conversation on the podcast, 08:41.519 --> 08:50.454 [SPEAKER_00]: as I am learning and becoming, you know, the next version of me while also being this version of me, there's a lot to learn. 08:50.514 --> 08:54.360 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot to learn and uncover and explore. 08:55.462 --> 08:58.867 [SPEAKER_00]: So that is my distraction and in fact, or it was my distraction is not anymore. 08:58.907 --> 09:08.623 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, like I said, and then also on top of that because during the months, the winter months, what's that like December, January, February, 09:08.603 --> 09:09.925 [SPEAKER_00]: and a February, right? 09:11.107 --> 09:14.471 [SPEAKER_00]: For me, I intentionally took some time to just be still. 09:14.511 --> 09:22.403 [SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, I've just been having all the thoughts, all the thoughts, but now we're approaching, or we will be approaching soon spring. 09:22.443 --> 09:25.207 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's early March. 09:26.128 --> 09:31.696 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I feel like, honestly, I feel like my body is just like the temperature outside I'm sure you've noticed it. 09:31.716 --> 09:33.919 [SPEAKER_00]: Things are changing outside already. 09:33.899 --> 09:35.180 [SPEAKER_00]: things are changing outside. 09:35.220 --> 09:47.431 [SPEAKER_00]: We got hit with a lot of snow here in Arkansas, back in early January, and it was icy out there for a few weeks or a couple of weeks, so it just has just not really thought, which was crazy. 09:47.451 --> 09:54.137 [SPEAKER_00]: I've never experienced that before, but I'm sure you've noticed in your own community and your own area, the things are starting to look a little different. 09:54.157 --> 09:55.579 [SPEAKER_00]: Things are starting to come back to life. 09:55.639 --> 09:56.760 [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't saw a bug outside. 09:56.780 --> 10:01.324 [SPEAKER_00]: I saw a bug outside of flying, but maybe I'm a 10:01.304 --> 10:08.674 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what it was, but now it's just like, oh, because you know, you kind of forget that life kind of like goes dormant. 10:09.635 --> 10:12.259 [SPEAKER_00]: And then you see a reminder and just like, oh shoot, that's right. 10:12.539 --> 10:28.982 [SPEAKER_00]: The mosquitoes are coming back or the flies or with little things called, they make all that noise, let's start with a sea, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, I don't know what the word is, but anyway, anyway, so you 10:29.418 --> 10:30.119 [SPEAKER_00]: distraction. 10:30.260 --> 10:40.559 [SPEAKER_00]: I, I was just allowing myself and not allowing myself, but I was just in this place, I didn't realize I was being distracted by this idea that if you don't come this way, it's not right for me. 10:40.599 --> 10:46.650 [SPEAKER_00]: Or if you don't come this way, I should feel some shame because you know, I'm doing this podcast and, you know, 10:47.069 --> 11:12.604 [SPEAKER_00]: I left my job in 2019 and all that jazz like all this like internal chatter that you don't even really realize is in there and this is why ladies I I try to implore you to take some time each week or each month or each Sunday or something find a rhythm that works for you where you can make space to just be still just be still. 11:14.052 --> 11:27.169 [SPEAKER_00]: prioritize yourself, make time for yourself because I promise you your intuition is going to deliver you some messages either through your thoughts when you're, you know, doing something totally unrelated or when you're asleep, you're going to have some dreams. 11:27.209 --> 11:27.870 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying? 11:27.890 --> 11:42.169 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I have had some very interesting dreams over the last few weeks and I'm just like, okay, okay, one of the dreams that I had was literally me, which is interesting. 11:42.149 --> 11:49.209 [SPEAKER_00]: literally me being in a camper van, which is something that I'm trying to buy right now. 11:49.831 --> 11:57.171 [SPEAKER_00]: But I was in a camper van in the middle of the road and I had to make a decision to go left or to go right this way or this way. 11:57.151 --> 12:06.143 [SPEAKER_00]: and I just without any fear or questioning, I just immediately turned like me to you turn it and went to the left and I just went forward. 12:06.985 --> 12:08.366 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been having several dreams. 12:08.447 --> 12:18.180 [SPEAKER_00]: So like I said, you may find that again, just in your waking time, when you're being still, maybe you're watching the dishes and you just have that thought. 12:18.160 --> 12:22.184 [SPEAKER_00]: Something you've been kind of like processing and not even aware that you're processing it. 12:22.204 --> 12:26.509 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll just have that thought or that vision or that idea or you'll have that dream. 12:26.849 --> 12:31.734 [SPEAKER_00]: And it'll kind of like a little gut check or soul check or confirmation or a little part of the puzzle. 12:32.074 --> 12:36.379 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, sometimes the things that we're our visions or the things that we're dealing with in this season. 12:36.899 --> 12:38.982 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't even necessarily see the whole picture. 12:39.002 --> 12:43.206 [SPEAKER_00]: You're just getting little bits and pieces like the fit in like puzzle pieces. 12:43.186 --> 12:44.749 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what it feels like for me right now. 12:44.789 --> 12:46.852 [SPEAKER_00]: Little puzzle pieces just kind of like coming together. 12:46.872 --> 12:58.011 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're not making time for stillness as a regular practice of your like a regular self-care kind of thing, you're going to miss, you're going to miss it, you're going to miss it. 12:58.031 --> 13:03.179 [SPEAKER_00]: And then you're going to wonder why you feel like you're not like you might even say, oh, I don't have intuition. 13:03.219 --> 13:03.720 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you do. 13:04.602 --> 13:05.143 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you do. 13:05.703 --> 13:06.645 [SPEAKER_00]: You have intuition. 13:07.351 --> 13:18.791 [SPEAKER_00]: You absolutely have intuition, or you might be thinking, I'm not hearing from God, or I'm not hearing from my ancestors, or I'm not hearing from my higher self, you are, you are. 13:18.911 --> 13:25.222 [SPEAKER_00]: It just doesn't necessarily look the way you think it's supposed to look, or maybe it's not saying the things that you feel like it should be saying. 13:25.663 --> 13:29.950 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, anyway, but it can be physical distractions as well. 13:31.330 --> 13:33.576 [SPEAKER_00]: This is the year to stop playing games. 13:33.977 --> 13:36.062 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, please hear my heart. 13:36.082 --> 13:38.007 [SPEAKER_00]: This is a no judgment thing. 13:38.027 --> 13:47.871 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you are, if I'm talking to you like a sister friend, if I'm talking to you like an auntie or like a girlfriend or a sister or cousin or whatever, like this is what I would tell my, 13:48.593 --> 13:53.646 [SPEAKER_00]: Any of my girlfriends in real life, if we were having this conversation, this is what I would tell them. 13:53.946 --> 14:05.134 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, it could be physical distractions as well that you're dealing with right now, not just even like the fear and internal mind chatter and stuff like that physical distractions to and 14:05.114 --> 14:07.898 [SPEAKER_00]: we don't have time to be distracted right now. 14:08.258 --> 14:10.521 [SPEAKER_00]: There's too much at play, there's too much going on. 14:10.962 --> 14:32.590 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you are constantly numbing your pain with TV, if you are constantly numbing your mind with social media and TikTok and trying to do the latest dances and always in TikTok, TikTok, shop, trying to find the latest and greatest we can keep up with everyone else and 14:32.570 --> 14:55.743 [SPEAKER_00]: or if you are just constantly scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, you're not allowing your mind, your spirit, your body, a chance to break free from that, like the TV, the social media, all the commercials and the ads and people talking, there's so much talking happening right now, so much talking happening right now. 14:56.304 --> 15:01.952 [SPEAKER_00]: And there is a lot going on right now that we need 15:02.810 --> 15:05.614 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot going on right now that we need to be paying attention to. 15:07.130 --> 15:09.673 [SPEAKER_00]: you're going to have to find a way to eliminate some of that distraction. 15:10.213 --> 15:15.539 [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to find a way to remove yourself from some of the noise. 15:16.079 --> 15:18.842 [SPEAKER_00]: Total removal is obviously not possible. 15:19.223 --> 15:24.007 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not saying that you should just go on a TV for the rest of the year. 15:24.027 --> 15:26.070 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not about that at all. 15:26.610 --> 15:28.072 [SPEAKER_00]: We all deserve to be entertained. 15:28.272 --> 15:29.934 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm getting a good key key. 15:29.974 --> 15:35.179 [SPEAKER_00]: I just finished up real house-wise of Atlanta or something like that. 15:35.159 --> 15:56.485 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm right now watching Beverly Hills cop from last year with Axel, you know, Eddie Murphy, Beverly Hills cop that kind of vibe, not saying that we don't deserve to relax and get loose and watch TV and have fun and scroll and get a good key key and, you know, all that, of course we do. 15:56.525 --> 15:58.067 [SPEAKER_00]: Of course we do. 15:58.868 --> 16:00.109 [SPEAKER_00]: We deserve that as well. 16:00.650 --> 16:05.115 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just asking you as a person and only you know the answer 16:05.770 --> 16:08.539 [SPEAKER_00]: No shame, no judgment, okay? 16:08.599 --> 16:14.177 [SPEAKER_00]: You ain't got to tell nobody about it, but do you feel like right now that TV? 16:14.478 --> 16:43.219 [SPEAKER_00]: social media keeping up with what everybody else is doing every celebrity you know every celebrity you know what what they wore to the met gala you know who their hair stylist is you know who they got beef with you know like just like you're all the like just trying to keep up with these people that honestly again if I was talking to a friend I would tell a real talk they don't give a 16:45.005 --> 16:49.713 [SPEAKER_00]: These celebrities that we are being distracted by, and I don't care who it is. 16:50.234 --> 16:55.824 [SPEAKER_00]: Some of them have the best intentions and they're great people, and some of them are not, doesn't really matter. 16:55.844 --> 16:56.906 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not here or there. 16:58.008 --> 17:08.667 [SPEAKER_00]: These people, a lot of them are in a tax bracket, just a, they're on a different level than where you are right now. 17:09.355 --> 17:21.991 [SPEAKER_00]: not that they are better than you, but typically, typically, their resources, their access is better than the average person's resources or access. 17:23.893 --> 17:31.422 [SPEAKER_00]: So while we are being distracted and trying to keep up with what Nini said, that was me, because I love Nini from Housewives, I just do, okay? 17:31.943 --> 17:35.447 [SPEAKER_00]: But just wondering what is what's going on 17:36.743 --> 18:04.624 [SPEAKER_00]: Just anything like Cynthia in Ariana Grande and I don't know their relationship and all that stuff bells and the news and just everything just anything these celebrities and these one percenters what they are doing beyond saying Jay Z don't come from me Beyonce fans okay I'm talking about any celebrity that has us as a just community as a whole in a chokehold 18:08.114 --> 18:09.856 [SPEAKER_00]: less now focus on them so much. 18:11.477 --> 18:34.237 [SPEAKER_00]: I have come to find that while we are being distracted by the pool and the glitz and the glam of what these one percentors or even five hell five percentors, okay, are doing our internal lives, our spiritual lives, our physical lives, our business lives, our career lives, they're going to hell in a hand basket. 18:35.759 --> 18:37.260 [SPEAKER_00]: We're struggling to get by. 18:39.012 --> 18:44.999 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not up on our health and well-being. 18:47.201 --> 18:58.535 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't have, we're not developing new skills that will enable us to move the ball forward in our favor individually and collectively. 18:59.315 --> 19:07.585 [SPEAKER_00]: We cannot worry about what these one-personers and five-personers and whoever, what they are doing, not consistently, 19:09.202 --> 19:29.832 [SPEAKER_00]: We have to condition our mind so that we are OK with not always being on top of what is the latest and the greatest from music to movies to social media to trending culture to whatever whatever it is. 19:31.334 --> 19:33.437 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm not saying that you can't. 19:34.902 --> 19:40.687 [SPEAKER_00]: But just asking yourself 100% how immersed are you? 19:42.068 --> 19:43.590 [SPEAKER_00]: How immersed are you? 19:43.650 --> 19:49.195 [SPEAKER_00]: And basically other people's business, that is not your own, because that's what it is. 19:50.876 --> 20:04.588 [SPEAKER_00]: So many distractions in front of us to the left, to the right, in front behind, sideways, upside down, and on top of that, we are living in a time with where our government 20:05.294 --> 20:09.780 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, not that I have ever really had faith in the government system. 20:09.820 --> 20:10.962 [SPEAKER_00]: So hear me when I say that. 20:10.982 --> 20:15.268 [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't care who was in office, all of it to me is shady. 20:15.488 --> 20:19.794 [SPEAKER_00]: Your mileage may vary, but I don't trust anyone in the government like that. 20:19.994 --> 20:26.323 [SPEAKER_00]: I just don't because it has proven to not be for black people as a whole. 20:27.097 --> 20:32.063 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just, it has proven not to benefit black people as a whole. 20:32.084 --> 20:36.670 [SPEAKER_00]: But I know that, you know, we have to do what we can for our better good. 20:36.710 --> 20:40.875 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's always important to vote and stay on top of matters and things like that. 20:40.955 --> 20:46.302 [SPEAKER_00]: But this current administration, they really don't care about black people. 20:46.783 --> 20:49.687 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, they really don't care about black people. 20:50.047 --> 20:51.929 [SPEAKER_00]: They really don't care about black women. 20:52.530 --> 20:56.175 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, we have a president in President and we have a president. 20:57.218 --> 21:03.970 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, me and God time for that. 21:04.791 --> 21:06.153 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm already 21 minutes in. 21:08.758 --> 21:09.619 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll just leave it at that. 21:09.659 --> 21:14.368 [SPEAKER_00]: We have a president who dot dot dot. 21:14.388 --> 21:19.496 [SPEAKER_00]: We have a president who dot dot dot dot. 21:20.017 --> 21:21.640 [SPEAKER_00]: It is wild 21:22.733 --> 21:27.018 [SPEAKER_00]: It is wild is going on for black and brown people. 21:27.218 --> 21:30.302 [SPEAKER_00]: It is wild and strange times. 21:30.362 --> 21:33.285 [SPEAKER_00]: It has always been like that for black people. 21:34.907 --> 21:35.407 [SPEAKER_00]: Always. 21:37.069 --> 21:46.220 [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like a part of the distraction is that the system allows us to get a little ahead. 21:47.001 --> 21:51.846 [SPEAKER_00]: Just a little bit so that we're satisfied 21:52.349 --> 22:01.289 [SPEAKER_00]: We're like, just kind of like in this trance, you know, we're in this trance and it's time for us to wake up. 22:01.389 --> 22:02.632 [SPEAKER_00]: It's been time for us to wake up. 22:02.652 --> 22:11.893 [SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of us we are, we have a woken waking up, whatever the saying is I want to say, well, but we are we have like we're opening our eyes. 22:15.333 --> 22:39.467 [SPEAKER_00]: but these distractions y'all from fear and anxiety and stress and the systems and everything that's going on, the social media, the movies, the music, the things that we are allowing access into our minds that are shaping our beliefs and our everyday life. 22:41.067 --> 22:43.457 [SPEAKER_00]: We can't be distracted by everything. 22:43.497 --> 22:51.330 [SPEAKER_00]: We have to be very selective by what we choose to allow to be our distractions. 22:52.643 --> 22:54.627 [SPEAKER_00]: can't you can't keep everything out. 22:54.647 --> 22:57.773 [SPEAKER_00]: And like I said before, it's okay to be entertained, it's okay to do certain things. 22:58.534 --> 23:06.009 [SPEAKER_00]: But you have to look at your life as a whole and see what distractions are you running on in the background. 23:06.129 --> 23:11.679 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what what what you're like the distractions, what which distractions are in your operating system. 23:12.802 --> 23:15.647 [SPEAKER_00]: When's the last time you look at your operating system? 23:15.813 --> 23:38.918 [SPEAKER_00]: When's the last time you did a full audit of your beliefs, of your values, of your desires, your goals, who you believe you are as a person, who you are becoming, what you want, what you want to do, who you want to be in community with, what you want your life to look like, like what shaped you as a person, all these things are what make up your, 23:38.898 --> 23:47.911 [SPEAKER_00]: Operating system plus on top of that, all the things that we're experiencing and seeing today, and all the things that we are distracted by. 23:47.951 --> 23:49.934 [SPEAKER_00]: There's many distractions. 23:49.974 --> 23:51.336 [SPEAKER_00]: It could be many things. 23:52.297 --> 23:56.022 [SPEAKER_00]: Addictions, you know, anything. 23:56.343 --> 23:57.945 [SPEAKER_00]: Anything can be a distraction. 23:58.005 --> 24:00.028 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't feel like I'm just pointing out one thing. 24:00.068 --> 24:03.032 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just like anything can be a distraction. 24:03.940 --> 24:08.486 [SPEAKER_00]: even for me, personal development can be a distraction. 24:08.506 --> 24:16.296 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell you how, be a huge distraction for a long time because I just didn't feel like I was enough. 24:16.497 --> 24:19.521 [SPEAKER_00]: I was on this personal development kick. 24:19.801 --> 24:22.424 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm still an, I'm still a personal development junkie. 24:22.484 --> 24:23.285 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't get me wrong. 24:23.526 --> 24:24.447 [SPEAKER_00]: I love, 24:25.473 --> 24:38.807 [SPEAKER_00]: personal development, so it's not that, but I feel like at a certain point it can be a hindrance, like for a while I was just binging on all this personal development stuff. 24:40.947 --> 25:03.681 [SPEAKER_00]: And trying to, well, this person said do it this way, I'm going to do it like this, this person said do it like this, I'm going to do it like this, this person talked about this today, okay, I'm going to try to read up on all this this person talked about this this week, oh, let me see if I can take that class let me see if I can do this because they said it like this, they're distraction, distraction, distraction, distraction, distraction, because I felt like I didn't have enough confidence or I wasn't good enough or I wasn't smart enough or I wasn't pretty enough I didn't. 25:03.661 --> 25:06.504 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I didn't, I didn't trust in myself. 25:06.524 --> 25:07.746 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have a self-esteem. 25:07.786 --> 25:08.887 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know what my intuition. 25:08.987 --> 25:25.467 [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't sexy, I need to be sexy, I need to be central, I need to be smart, I need to be pretty like all these things, you know, that black women are intentionally and unintentionally told and taught. 25:28.147 --> 25:34.439 [SPEAKER_00]: what is your operating system running on? 25:35.602 --> 25:37.425 [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay for you to do an audit. 25:38.527 --> 25:40.030 [SPEAKER_00]: Take a minute, take a beat. 25:40.612 --> 25:42.275 [SPEAKER_00]: It eliminates some of those distractions. 25:42.355 --> 25:45.782 [SPEAKER_00]: Turn the TV off, turn the radio off, turn off social media. 25:47.866 --> 25:48.467 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, 25:49.966 --> 25:56.574 [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to just try to have some time where you are not bogged down in distractions. 25:57.636 --> 26:03.483 [SPEAKER_00]: Fear, stress, keeping up with the Joneses, money. 26:04.364 --> 26:05.305 [SPEAKER_00]: That's a distraction. 26:06.227 --> 26:10.051 [SPEAKER_00]: Money is definitely a distraction, okay? 26:10.071 --> 26:13.676 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of things that can be considered a distraction. 26:14.337 --> 26:17.661 [SPEAKER_00]: And by distraction, I'm really saying, 26:18.907 --> 26:21.109 [SPEAKER_00]: It's rooted in such an unhealthy way. 26:23.272 --> 26:30.719 [SPEAKER_00]: It's rooted in such an unhealthy way that you really need to take a look at it because it is okay to be fearful at times. 26:31.620 --> 26:34.503 [SPEAKER_00]: It is okay, in my opinion, to have anxiety sometimes. 26:35.044 --> 26:36.485 [SPEAKER_00]: But is it overtaking your life? 26:36.665 --> 26:37.666 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it keeping you stuck? 26:37.747 --> 26:38.788 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it leaving you and doubt? 26:38.848 --> 26:39.528 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it leaving you? 26:39.949 --> 26:42.411 [SPEAKER_00]: Questioning every single thing. 26:42.451 --> 26:44.914 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a difference. 26:45.957 --> 26:54.012 [SPEAKER_00]: you know, and this year in 26, I feel we are in a place where we are rebuilding our foundation. 26:54.073 --> 26:56.638 [SPEAKER_00]: Some of us are starting completely over from scratch. 26:57.118 --> 26:59.243 [SPEAKER_00]: Some of us are just in a place of rebuilding. 27:01.407 --> 27:05.755 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I feel like next year, 27 is going to be 27:07.102 --> 27:09.064 [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be monumental in some way. 27:09.144 --> 27:10.786 [SPEAKER_00]: I just don't know how yet. 27:11.467 --> 27:26.684 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like right now, we are in a place of centering ourselves, restoring our foundations, taking a keen eye at what's going on for what it really is in our lives and externally. 27:26.724 --> 27:35.134 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, physically in our lives as well as outside of us, like externally, what is going on in the world. 27:38.101 --> 27:47.982 [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of distractions, a lot of confusion, a lot of chaos, a lot of shit happening that should not be happening. 27:48.664 --> 27:53.494 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like we just constantly are going through this over and over and over again. 27:56.258 --> 28:02.306 [SPEAKER_00]: This country has the United States in case you're not in the United States. 28:02.406 --> 28:08.154 [SPEAKER_00]: This country has and continues to have one way or another. 28:08.194 --> 28:15.464 [SPEAKER_00]: Blood on its hands over and over and it's like a curse to me. 28:15.685 --> 28:16.746 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what it feels like. 28:16.806 --> 28:18.148 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like a curse. 28:18.753 --> 28:41.385 [SPEAKER_00]: This country just continues to violate, to harm, to lie, to hide, to silence, to kill, to 28:43.525 --> 28:46.253 [SPEAKER_00]: So now it's not the time to be distracted. 28:46.373 --> 28:47.536 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really, really not. 28:47.556 --> 28:53.853 [SPEAKER_00]: We have to be very aware, very alert, very mindful. 28:53.914 --> 28:59.509 [SPEAKER_00]: And because of that, because you want to be in a place where you are just 29:00.822 --> 29:17.363 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying alert to the point of like you can't like function like you're just you know what I mean just being aware more aware of what's going on in the government what's what more where what's going on in your neighborhood and around you what's going on or more where what's going on internally within you We need to have our eyes open 29:19.148 --> 29:47.670 [SPEAKER_00]: You cannot be aware when your system, like when your spirit is bogged down with all this other stuff that again, there's nothing wrong with entertainment, but at some point if it's a lot or you can't you know move past certain situations and you're just like on this loop and you're using certain things as comfort as distraction you know what I'm saying that need that that really should be looked at. 29:48.005 --> 29:49.687 [SPEAKER_00]: that really should be looked at friend. 29:50.428 --> 29:54.633 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, not judging because I too tend to do that as well. 29:55.233 --> 29:55.534 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 29:56.195 --> 30:02.382 [SPEAKER_00]: It's very easy for me to turn on the TV and binge for hours and days upon days. 30:02.442 --> 30:03.643 [SPEAKER_00]: I just watched Stranger Things. 30:04.324 --> 30:05.045 [SPEAKER_00]: I just watched it. 30:05.225 --> 30:07.688 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't watch when I first came out like the the final season. 30:07.728 --> 30:16.999 [SPEAKER_00]: I watched it just like a couple of weeks ago, you know, but it's very easy to use that as a distraction. 30:18.903 --> 30:22.028 [SPEAKER_00]: and kind of like the shy away from or ignore. 30:23.122 --> 30:36.097 [SPEAKER_00]: certain thoughts, or habits that you might have, or beliefs, or things happening in your body, or in your home, because they may feel not so fun. 30:36.157 --> 30:48.271 [SPEAKER_00]: They may feel hard to really address head-on, or to look at what the, as I say in Wicked with a nice cold eye, or an ice cold eye, excuse me, with a nice cold eye. 30:48.431 --> 30:50.293 [SPEAKER_00]: I love Wicked y'all. 30:50.273 --> 30:54.159 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, in any case, that is what I wanted to tell you today. 30:54.219 --> 30:56.083 [SPEAKER_00]: This is a short episode. 30:56.623 --> 30:57.886 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, no judgment. 30:57.966 --> 31:02.593 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying this from a place of being your sister, your aunt, your friend. 31:02.633 --> 31:03.895 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying? 31:04.316 --> 31:05.498 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I too. 31:05.478 --> 31:13.070 [SPEAKER_00]: And there, definitely was distracted by this whole idea that I have to earn money a certain way. 31:13.090 --> 31:15.033 [SPEAKER_00]: And if not, it's an embarrassment. 31:15.073 --> 31:22.445 [SPEAKER_00]: So I was stuck for a minute, I can tell you, I am no longer in freeze mode, physically or spiritually. 31:22.905 --> 31:29.836 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes we do have to go into like a hibernation or freeze mode, because sometimes we just have to have time to process. 31:29.876 --> 31:32.380 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I implore you to please. 31:32.680 --> 31:37.575 [SPEAKER_00]: Take time for you, take time for stillness, take time to think your thoughts. 31:39.682 --> 31:43.433 [SPEAKER_00]: You have to have time to think your thoughts, okay? 31:45.623 --> 31:48.427 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I'd love to hear your thoughts speaking of thoughts. 31:48.467 --> 31:53.174 [SPEAKER_00]: Feel free to, if you're listening to this on Spotify, you can leave a message on Spotify. 31:54.115 --> 32:02.647 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're listening on iTunes, you can't leave a message, but if this is where you, if that's your jam, iTunes, please make sure to leave a five-star rating and review for this podcast. 32:02.687 --> 32:09.517 [SPEAKER_00]: If you found this episode in Lightning, feel free to share it with your other sister friends on social media. 32:09.837 --> 32:10.659 [SPEAKER_00]: I see the shares. 32:10.699 --> 32:12.381 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for sharing on social. 32:12.822 --> 32:13.843 [SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate that. 32:13.863 --> 32:15.225 [SPEAKER_00]: You're sharing your stories. 32:15.205 --> 32:18.559 [SPEAKER_00]: the Brown Girls Self Care Podcast, all right? 32:19.583 --> 32:24.001 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, so that's it for this week of the Brown Girls Self Care Podcast. 32:24.102 --> 32:25.367 [SPEAKER_00]: I will see you next Monday.