WEBVTT 00:06.528 --> 00:07.609 [SPEAKER_00]: Hello, hello, everybody. 00:07.650 --> 00:12.416 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Lexi Lumbar to host the Lexi Podcast and thank you for tuning in to a new episode. 00:12.696 --> 00:17.443 [SPEAKER_00]: And thank you all for all the love and the positive feedback on last week's episode. 00:17.463 --> 00:18.925 [SPEAKER_00]: It felt good to be back. 00:19.205 --> 00:24.532 [SPEAKER_00]: I had taken some time off and I didn't realize how much I missed this show and how much I missed you guys. 00:24.552 --> 00:31.742 [SPEAKER_00]: And it felt really good to chat and catch up, give a little bit of an insight into where I've been. 00:31.722 --> 00:58.962 [SPEAKER_00]: mentally more than where I've been at physically, because I'm about to turn 30, which is a bit of a milestone, as the last one was 25, 18 before that, 16 before that, tween her 10 like double digits, and I've never really been one for milestones, as in I might feel inclined to really celebrate, 00:59.347 --> 01:02.510 [SPEAKER_00]: I've never been one to really emphasize milestones. 01:02.630 --> 01:04.412 [SPEAKER_00]: For example, it just depends on the year. 01:04.472 --> 01:11.018 [SPEAKER_00]: There might be 27, 28, that I really feel like going all out and the change is hitting me. 01:11.058 --> 01:15.283 [SPEAKER_00]: But for some reason, 30 is hitting me in the face. 01:15.363 --> 01:16.904 [SPEAKER_00]: It's feeling closer than ever. 01:16.944 --> 01:19.667 [SPEAKER_00]: And not in a way that I'm not excited to enter my 30s. 01:20.328 --> 01:23.991 [SPEAKER_00]: But I am feeling a lot of shudds that I should be doing this. 01:24.552 --> 01:25.693 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you're grown up by now. 01:25.753 --> 01:26.974 [SPEAKER_00]: You should be getting it together. 01:26.954 --> 01:34.121 [SPEAKER_00]: One of the biggest ways to relieve any age-related stress is to hang out with people older than you. 01:34.161 --> 01:42.950 [SPEAKER_00]: When you start hanging out with younger people or people your age and no one older than you, you're thinking, wow, these kids are so far ahead of me. 01:42.990 --> 01:45.993 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, these people might age or so far ahead of me. 01:46.594 --> 01:51.679 [SPEAKER_00]: When you talk to a 65-year-old, they're going to say, you're not even 30-year-a-baby. 01:51.659 --> 01:53.864 [SPEAKER_00]: and God that feels good. 01:53.884 --> 01:55.187 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really excited for my 30s. 01:55.247 --> 01:58.574 [SPEAKER_00]: My 30s are going to be a really lovely decade. 01:58.594 --> 02:00.939 [SPEAKER_00]: I am ready for a change. 02:02.403 --> 02:08.436 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm hoping that that is moving related, although apartment hunting sucks. 02:08.888 --> 02:25.833 [SPEAKER_00]: But the last, like, three, four days at least, I'm on all the websites, CompassZillowofarmans.com, historic LA apartments, hot pads, Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, trying to find either, there's two options. 02:26.975 --> 02:29.078 [SPEAKER_00]: One, I live with one of my best friends Tyra. 02:29.779 --> 02:33.124 [SPEAKER_00]: We can either get our own places, 02:34.420 --> 02:40.127 [SPEAKER_00]: totally an option or continue living together and upgrade the living space. 02:40.681 --> 02:44.186 [SPEAKER_00]: So get a house, which would be so sick. 02:44.907 --> 02:46.630 [SPEAKER_00]: Imagine there's one house. 02:46.830 --> 02:55.723 [SPEAKER_00]: There's only one listing out of all of the listings that I've scoured that I actually would want to leave my current apartment because my current apartment's great. 02:55.743 --> 02:58.648 [SPEAKER_00]: There are a lot of things going for it. 02:58.968 --> 03:01.792 [SPEAKER_00]: And there's going to be pros and cons with every living situation. 03:02.373 --> 03:08.342 [SPEAKER_00]: And the apartment I'm living in right now is something I would have dreamed and did dream of living in when I was in New York. 03:08.322 --> 03:30.837 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember writing in my journal if I could have a bedroom big enough to have a queen size mattress that that's all they wanted and then I remember in New York dreaming verbally in my head and in my diary if only I could have a bedroom that was big enough for a queen size bed and if I'm not asking for too much a walking closet. 03:32.065 --> 03:37.835 [SPEAKER_00]: And not only did I get both of those, I also got my own on-sweet bathroom with two sinks. 03:37.855 --> 03:45.609 [SPEAKER_00]: Gorgeous bathroom, when I add, it has great b-board, great tile on the floor and the back splash of the shower. 03:45.669 --> 03:53.483 [SPEAKER_00]: It's probably one of my favorite parts of the apartment is the bathrooms, I think this apartment has a really good bathrooms, and then, 03:54.644 --> 04:00.638 [SPEAKER_00]: We have a long hallway, we don't know what that's something I would have prayed for, but it's really great for spoon-to-run laps. 04:01.219 --> 04:03.103 [SPEAKER_00]: Full size washer and dryer. 04:03.123 --> 04:08.195 [SPEAKER_00]: We had a washer and dryer in my last New York apartment, whereas all of my prior ones did that. 04:08.957 --> 04:10.640 [SPEAKER_00]: If they did have one, it was janky. 04:10.681 --> 04:13.547 [SPEAKER_00]: Otherwise, I was just sending it out to fly cleaners or... 04:13.527 --> 04:27.205 [SPEAKER_00]: Didn't get to the laundromat or the wash and fold and to have a laundry area like by last apartment had a washer and dryer, but they were small and there was no area to put your detergent. 04:28.747 --> 04:37.158 [SPEAKER_00]: We also have an outdoor space and it's great, it's on a good street in a neighborhood I love. 04:37.218 --> 04:40.142 [SPEAKER_00]: We have two bathrooms. 04:40.510 --> 04:44.355 [SPEAKER_00]: I, in all of my apartments, had to share a bathroom in New York. 04:45.437 --> 04:58.014 [SPEAKER_00]: It's crazy because my lives nearly the first time, a little quick rundown, graduate or high school, moved out to LA, lived with friends for two and a half, three years, one to New York for six, and then I was back. 04:58.074 --> 05:00.898 [SPEAKER_00]: But when I was 18 living in Los Angeles, 05:00.878 --> 05:05.675 [SPEAKER_00]: I had these great living situations, but I was in such a clouded headspace. 05:05.696 --> 05:11.597 [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't even appreciate them, and then I went to New York, and the last place I was in in LA had. 05:12.337 --> 05:13.698 [SPEAKER_00]: so much space. 05:13.718 --> 05:17.663 [SPEAKER_00]: We all had our own bathrooms and there were four of us. 05:18.263 --> 05:26.072 [SPEAKER_00]: We had a huge kitchen, a huge living room, a huge dining room, took advantage of not a bit at the end or at the beginning. 05:26.092 --> 05:32.599 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember at some point in the house, I switched rooms and I had the basement and or just the ground floor. 05:32.619 --> 05:36.623 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think there are basements in California, which is strange. 05:36.603 --> 05:37.885 [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, I wonder why. 05:38.106 --> 05:41.131 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I actually don't care right now. 05:41.151 --> 05:54.274 [SPEAKER_00]: I had the ground floor huge bedroom Great bathroom everything was modern then I had this whole other office entertainment room and I could not have cared less and then for the same price 05:54.254 --> 05:56.079 [SPEAKER_00]: maybe even a little bit more money. 05:56.761 --> 06:09.495 [SPEAKER_00]: I moved to a six floor walk-up in New York City with an apartment that was a duplex that the top level had a broken lock so anyone hypothetically that made it to the roof could just walk on into our apartment. 06:10.015 --> 06:16.366 [SPEAKER_00]: There wasn't even enough room in my bedroom for a full mattress. 06:16.486 --> 06:19.772 [SPEAKER_00]: It was a twin bunk bed with a desk underneath. 06:19.872 --> 06:25.101 [SPEAKER_00]: And I had never been happier, ever, ever, ever. 06:25.242 --> 06:27.726 [SPEAKER_00]: I was just so happy there. 06:27.746 --> 06:29.489 [SPEAKER_00]: I loved that apartment. 06:29.609 --> 06:31.513 [SPEAKER_00]: I loved how I felt in that apartment. 06:31.933 --> 06:35.179 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was by and large, a pretty shitty apartment. 06:35.159 --> 06:40.746 [SPEAKER_00]: But it had good character, and it had good memories, but I really was out there. 06:40.786 --> 06:44.550 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a 21-year-old sleeping in a bunk bed for the first and only time in my life. 06:44.991 --> 06:46.192 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even do that as a child. 06:46.272 --> 06:47.133 [SPEAKER_00]: Only at summer camp. 06:47.193 --> 06:55.583 [SPEAKER_00]: But I fully was a grown-in-dope going from Queen bed to full-size mattress lifted, and I had friends sleep over. 06:55.623 --> 06:58.727 [SPEAKER_00]: Truly did. 06:58.747 --> 07:02.972 [SPEAKER_00]: As whatever it was fun, it was so much fun. 07:02.952 --> 07:12.464 [SPEAKER_00]: and now this feels a little bit different where I'm getting older and I have spoon now and I want space for him. 07:12.484 --> 07:22.696 [SPEAKER_00]: I also, to the cons of my apartment, there's no storage, there's no linen closet, there's no hall closet, co closet, anything of the sort. 07:23.217 --> 07:25.720 [SPEAKER_00]: There's also no space for a table. 07:26.257 --> 07:36.182 [SPEAKER_00]: And actually, I think out of any changes, if there could just be a little bump out in this apartment for a full-sized table that I could work on, I think that would solve. 07:37.276 --> 07:39.018 [SPEAKER_00]: solve my itch to move. 07:39.659 --> 07:46.686 [SPEAKER_00]: I will say there was a bit of an edge because originally Tyra was going to move out of this apartment. 07:47.147 --> 07:53.173 [SPEAKER_00]: She was going to move to New York and then things shifted and I was going to live with my friend Ellen. 07:53.213 --> 07:57.377 [SPEAKER_00]: She was going to come in here and we had plans on we're going to get this piece of furniture. 07:57.397 --> 08:03.604 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to move this here so there was going to be a change of energy in the space and it was something that I was looking forward to. 08:03.584 --> 08:19.180 [SPEAKER_00]: And then one thing led to another tyros sting and it felt almost as if I was preparing for this big transition and then never mind, everything is just going to stay exactly the same and now I'm itching for the change because 08:19.160 --> 08:21.542 [SPEAKER_00]: Mentally and physically I was preparing for one. 08:22.063 --> 08:45.285 [SPEAKER_00]: So I do think that's another reason that this is brought on But if I could really just have a big table Even in the last vlog I posted because not only did I post a podcast episode last week I posted a vlog on YouTube and it felt really good I was taking some time off and even before the time off I was posting one vlog 08:45.265 --> 08:48.169 [SPEAKER_00]: One week, a podcast episode, the next week. 08:48.209 --> 08:49.531 [SPEAKER_00]: Man of log, then a podcast. 08:49.551 --> 08:56.421 [SPEAKER_00]: So there would be one long form content, piece that goes up on either one of my platforms a week. 08:57.402 --> 08:59.525 [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever, I can get it together and give you both. 08:59.725 --> 09:00.947 [SPEAKER_00]: At least for a period of time. 09:01.768 --> 09:02.389 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's where I'm at. 09:02.429 --> 09:04.152 [SPEAKER_00]: So if I were to get to be posting both. 09:04.232 --> 09:13.585 [SPEAKER_00]: But in that vlog, I had some clip where I was reorganizing my closet and then I showed my living room and asked, where could I put a workspace? 09:14.037 --> 09:15.800 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I just need to redecorate. 09:16.180 --> 09:18.324 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's what needs to happen. 09:18.404 --> 09:27.658 [SPEAKER_00]: I texted my friend who's a realtor and I asked if she could help me find a bigger space from the entire up, but there was one listing. 09:28.259 --> 09:33.787 [SPEAKER_00]: Ah, she's expansive, but it is a house in the hills. 09:34.208 --> 09:39.977 [SPEAKER_00]: Let me pull it up on my laptop because I'm curious. 09:40.818 --> 09:42.360 [SPEAKER_00]: to see if I can describe it. 09:42.600 --> 09:45.203 [SPEAKER_00]: I look really good enough for you to get a mental picture. 09:45.223 --> 09:48.486 [SPEAKER_00]: I have so many tabs up. 09:48.506 --> 09:50.748 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, she's so fabulous. 09:50.828 --> 09:52.350 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a three-bed-two bath. 09:53.471 --> 09:56.875 [SPEAKER_00]: Single family home, surrounded by trees. 09:57.655 --> 09:59.077 [SPEAKER_00]: Beautiful stone walkway. 09:59.417 --> 10:00.518 [SPEAKER_00]: This house is colorful. 10:00.538 --> 10:03.662 [SPEAKER_00]: There's like a blue garage, yellow on the outside green. 10:03.702 --> 10:05.424 [SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of crazy looking in that sense. 10:06.104 --> 10:09.728 [SPEAKER_00]: Then there's this whole porch bench area. 10:09.708 --> 10:18.604 [SPEAKER_00]: Can be on my grandma grandpa's head drinking a hot coffee on my porch, a dream, then try and go ceiling. 10:20.137 --> 10:33.153 [SPEAKER_00]: Darkwood ceiling, darkwood walls on one side, bookshelves on another wall, windows on another wall, and I don't know what the fourth wall is because that's the perspective that I'm looking from. 10:33.393 --> 10:39.760 [SPEAKER_00]: So woodwall on the left, full floor to ceiling bookshelves in front of me, all windows with trees on the right. 10:40.321 --> 10:44.406 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it looks like it's just a white wall with more bookshelves on the other side. 10:44.386 --> 10:50.499 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, two walls completely filled up with shelves, it's so good. 10:50.539 --> 11:03.627 [SPEAKER_00]: And then there's a fireplace, den, where there's in this room, it's furnished with a piano, wood fireplace, reading nook, windows. 11:03.607 --> 11:17.228 [SPEAKER_00]: The kitchen's kind of small looking, but still nice, full size washer dryer, dining room, little, I don't know what I would call this, let's see what they, okay, there's a little office space. 11:20.363 --> 11:24.248 [SPEAKER_00]: And then there's two beds in two baths or three beds two baths. 11:25.169 --> 11:30.635 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really the the communal spaces that seem really intriguing and have a lot of character. 11:30.675 --> 11:43.030 [SPEAKER_00]: That's where I'm also having some conflicting opinions because I would love a space that has a 11:43.010 --> 11:45.833 [SPEAKER_00]: because there's a lot of places that have that. 11:46.493 --> 11:47.975 [SPEAKER_00]: We kind of have the best of both worlds. 11:48.035 --> 12:10.317 [SPEAKER_00]: Our house has some character, our street has some character, but inside we have new bathrooms, new kitchen appliances, new washer and dryer, so don't have to deal with the old appliances and things breaking down because a lot of times with character comes time and with time comes repairs. 12:10.634 --> 12:16.780 [SPEAKER_00]: a 75-year-old bathroom for breaking down here and there as opposed to a four-year-old bathroom. 12:17.641 --> 12:29.792 [SPEAKER_00]: And then one of my friends down this street, he ended up moving into a building that sort of has more character and he's like not even a year in and is so ready for an amenity building. 12:29.832 --> 12:33.836 [SPEAKER_00]: They have had mold, mold really common in LA. 12:33.856 --> 12:39.561 [SPEAKER_00]: I honestly can't think we're 12:39.575 --> 12:41.538 [SPEAKER_00]: I actually can't even get into all the things I've had. 12:41.578 --> 12:59.322 [SPEAKER_00]: It literally is just one battle after another in that apartment, like kitchen problems, bathroom problems, stealing problems, something called fire the other day, apparently in the apartment next to them, a repairman was on the roof and felt the roof into their apartment. 12:59.302 --> 13:11.505 [SPEAKER_00]: So he's very much on the train of it was fun, hypothetically, to live in a place with character, get me an amenity building, but then when I see an amenity building on Zillower Apartments.com or whatever. 13:12.143 --> 13:15.467 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just not thrilled by it, it doesn't take all my soul. 13:15.487 --> 13:18.251 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to live in a box. 13:19.272 --> 13:28.383 [SPEAKER_00]: I want it all, I want the best of both worlds, I want a perfect location, I want a perfect space, I want it in my budget, and I want it now. 13:29.885 --> 13:34.091 [SPEAKER_00]: And if I can't find it, at least my apartment is a month to month. 13:34.531 --> 13:37.395 [SPEAKER_00]: That is something New York could never. 13:38.035 --> 13:40.058 [SPEAKER_00]: It's pretty standard in Los Angeles. 13:40.038 --> 13:44.029 [SPEAKER_00]: you sign on for a year lease, and then after the year you remain month to month. 13:44.711 --> 13:53.035 [SPEAKER_00]: In New York, sometimes they want you to sign on to a two year lease, and then after the two years are out, then you can guarantee another year, whereas 13:53.993 --> 13:56.616 [SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of nice to have the option. 13:56.776 --> 13:59.299 [SPEAKER_00]: If there's nothing on the market, nothing's kicking me out. 13:59.359 --> 14:00.661 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't just have to decide. 14:01.201 --> 14:04.045 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's see what's out there because I need to be out by March 15th. 14:04.986 --> 14:08.490 [SPEAKER_00]: Speaking of March 15th, that's my 30th birthday. 14:08.550 --> 14:10.152 [SPEAKER_00]: What will I do? 14:10.292 --> 14:16.500 [SPEAKER_00]: Because right now it's February 23rd, which means my birthday is in just shy of three weeks. 14:17.421 --> 14:18.702 [SPEAKER_00]: I need to plan something. 14:18.842 --> 14:20.044 [SPEAKER_00]: I hate planning a birthday. 14:20.324 --> 14:22.887 [SPEAKER_00]: My mom planned all my birthdays as kids. 14:22.867 --> 14:23.850 [SPEAKER_00]: She killed it. 14:23.870 --> 14:25.354 [SPEAKER_00]: She did such a superb job. 14:25.374 --> 14:37.990 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, no one did it better and then when it comes around to it I think it's just time of year and not in the mood to throw a party in March I'm in the mood to throw a party in May June july 14:39.337 --> 14:45.429 [SPEAKER_00]: August, September, October, even maybe a holiday party, probably not, I hate the holidays. 14:45.449 --> 14:51.742 [SPEAKER_00]: Not consciously, but subconsciously I do, and then consciously, I have to remember that subconsciously I do. 14:51.762 --> 14:57.514 [SPEAKER_00]: This is not important, but by March, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I 14:57.494 --> 15:03.141 [SPEAKER_00]: in running the momentum of the new year, so I'm not really in my wild era. 15:03.161 --> 15:20.683 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't normally start to go wild until summer time, and then I'll kind of get my discipline back during September, and then maybe have a little fun around the end of the year when things 15:20.663 --> 15:27.319 [SPEAKER_00]: In other places, I'm normally deeper in seasonal depression at this point, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses. 15:27.439 --> 15:36.039 [SPEAKER_00]: I said this in the last video, or in the last episode, that someone compared your emotions to a crying child in the boxy. 15:36.079 --> 15:39.567 [SPEAKER_00]: You can't let them drive, and I'm just giving you bullshit right now. 15:39.884 --> 16:03.394 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm feeling like when, when, when, and I don't like the time that my birthday is, girl just pick a date, pick a place say be here, y'all come or not, the last few years I really just had a party at the house, I'll get this guy to come, make tacos on the deck, it was a gorgeous day last year, anyone can stop and come say hi, have a margarita, 16:03.374 --> 16:10.300 [SPEAKER_00]: Say hi to their friends, have a taco, and then after we ended up going to Rolling Loud, which was fun, Saw Asap Rocky. 16:10.600 --> 16:15.344 [SPEAKER_00]: I've seen Asap Rocky twice this year, or last year, because I saw him at Flogna. 16:15.745 --> 16:17.346 [SPEAKER_00]: So I have to figure out something from my birthday. 16:17.806 --> 16:20.669 [SPEAKER_00]: What I really want to do is I want to go skiing. 16:21.109 --> 16:28.155 [SPEAKER_00]: The only issue is I have friends and loved ones that would like to celebrate my birthday with me, but they don't ski. 16:28.576 --> 16:29.797 [SPEAKER_00]: And it could be fun. 16:29.817 --> 16:32.419 [SPEAKER_00]: I could look online. 16:32.399 --> 16:35.563 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't like doing these things, like it's not fun for me. 16:35.643 --> 16:41.310 [SPEAKER_00]: I was talking to Lexi, who owns Cleo the other day, and she was helping me look at apartments. 16:41.350 --> 16:43.072 [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, this is my favorite activity. 16:43.092 --> 16:44.995 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, ugh, I hate doing this. 16:45.055 --> 16:46.997 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, ugh, just like, no, I love this. 16:47.458 --> 16:48.499 [SPEAKER_00]: Literally on the phone with her friends. 16:48.519 --> 16:50.822 [SPEAKER_00]: She's like, yes, what I'm doing, I'm helping Lexi find an apartment. 16:50.842 --> 16:54.567 [SPEAKER_00]: So basically, I'm having the best day up, or I think some people go the other way about planning parties. 16:55.127 --> 16:57.310 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm such a party go, we're not a party hostar. 16:57.350 --> 17:01.275 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm down to do it once twice a year. 17:01.255 --> 17:03.919 [SPEAKER_00]: It is not something I actively look forward to. 17:06.183 --> 17:10.550 [SPEAKER_00]: So I commend all of you that are the ones that likes a host. 17:10.590 --> 17:11.251 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe if I... 17:11.772 --> 17:13.494 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what I could come over the excuses. 17:13.534 --> 17:14.856 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, maybe if I lived alone. 17:15.317 --> 17:15.758 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 17:15.818 --> 17:16.780 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 17:17.140 --> 17:18.222 [SPEAKER_00]: That's all she wrote, y'all. 17:18.342 --> 17:25.133 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get into the questions of today's episode that I always ask for an Instagram. 17:25.573 --> 17:29.119 [SPEAKER_00]: But first, a word from today's sponsors. 17:29.099 --> 17:36.748 [SPEAKER_00]: Starting from the top, age of Bella as how are you organizing your life also, how do you make friends as a shy adult? 17:37.449 --> 17:38.891 [SPEAKER_00]: We'll answer the friend question first. 17:39.832 --> 17:46.239 [SPEAKER_00]: I think the best thing you can do as a shy person is to use the charm of your shyness. 17:46.760 --> 17:49.223 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I have a friend who's kind of shy. 17:49.263 --> 17:50.024 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a couple friends. 17:50.084 --> 17:52.086 [SPEAKER_00]: I have actually quite a bit of shy friends. 17:52.326 --> 17:54.829 [SPEAKER_00]: And you have to lean into your shyness. 17:54.990 --> 17:56.271 [SPEAKER_00]: I think a lot of people 17:56.251 --> 17:57.192 [SPEAKER_00]: give the advice. 17:57.753 --> 18:02.419 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not that hard to get out there and put yourself out there, practice makes perfect. 18:02.459 --> 18:15.434 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're naturally shy or you're naturally quiet, I think a little light poke and a wave to someone is really endearing if that's authentic to who you are or how you're feeling. 18:16.115 --> 18:17.657 [SPEAKER_00]: Also admitting to being shy. 18:17.717 --> 18:25.667 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean like, oh, I think you're so 18:26.930 --> 18:30.575 [SPEAKER_00]: gives me a way to respect you because there's some self-awareness. 18:30.736 --> 18:32.819 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, oh, I got to, like, you're just shy. 18:32.859 --> 18:38.327 [SPEAKER_00]: You're not off putting, you're not being a bitch, you're not ignoring people, like you're just shy. 18:38.367 --> 18:42.713 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think you could lean into being shy and vocalizing it. 18:42.873 --> 18:51.325 [SPEAKER_00]: And I even remember getting flirted with by someone who was shy, and the text that they would send me would be like, I really wanted to kiss you what I got nervous. 18:51.386 --> 18:52.808 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it okay if I try next time? 18:52.968 --> 18:55.131 [SPEAKER_00]: And I thought that was A. 18:55.111 --> 19:03.125 [SPEAKER_00]: What a great way to locate us for consent, but yes, of course you can kiss me, but now I even know what you're thinking and you still are allowed to be shy. 19:03.165 --> 19:07.332 [SPEAKER_00]: Now how am I organizing my life? 19:09.216 --> 19:14.605 [SPEAKER_00]: I might be at the stage of over-organizing because right now I have. 19:15.496 --> 19:16.578 [SPEAKER_00]: sticky notes. 19:17.439 --> 19:19.403 [SPEAKER_00]: I have to do this. 19:19.563 --> 19:20.945 [SPEAKER_00]: I have notes in my phone. 19:20.965 --> 19:22.768 [SPEAKER_00]: I have boards on Pinterest. 19:22.949 --> 19:24.531 [SPEAKER_00]: I have slides on Canva. 19:24.792 --> 19:29.139 [SPEAKER_00]: Not to mention that my journal has three journals in it. 19:29.820 --> 19:34.568 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm not 19:36.016 --> 19:37.979 [SPEAKER_00]: As much as maybe I have been in other places. 19:38.039 --> 19:40.223 [SPEAKER_00]: My closet looks fabulous though. 19:40.283 --> 19:41.885 [SPEAKER_00]: My closet is organized. 19:42.807 --> 19:53.684 [SPEAKER_00]: I've gotten better at not being so sentimental about things and allowing myself to get rid of something that I don't actually like. 19:54.125 --> 20:02.057 [SPEAKER_00]: I think a lot of us are holding on to things because we think, oh, I can't get rid of it because I don't need to go on that tangent right now. 20:02.037 --> 20:06.464 [SPEAKER_00]: how am I organizing my life though because I do have a lot of systems in place. 20:06.684 --> 20:09.509 [SPEAKER_00]: I just think about this exact moment. 20:10.030 --> 20:11.452 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been thinking the past few days. 20:11.492 --> 20:12.333 [SPEAKER_00]: You may have gone too far. 20:12.353 --> 20:13.415 [SPEAKER_00]: I think you need to really back. 20:13.455 --> 20:19.725 [SPEAKER_00]: I think you need to start pairing things down, deleting lists, or at least consolidating. 20:19.705 --> 20:28.078 [SPEAKER_00]: But what I do typically to organize my life is keep my inbox as clean as possible. 20:28.098 --> 20:32.305 [SPEAKER_00]: To not rely to have a Leon to do is to just do it now. 20:33.026 --> 20:36.912 [SPEAKER_00]: I love that if something's going to take less than a minute, do it now. 20:37.473 --> 20:38.655 [SPEAKER_00]: Say that in your head all the time. 20:38.695 --> 20:45.586 [SPEAKER_00]: When you're getting undressed before the shower, it's going to take less than 60 seconds to throw your dirty clothes into the hamper. 20:45.646 --> 20:46.928 [SPEAKER_00]: Do it now. 20:46.908 --> 21:00.021 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're deciding on jackets before going to work and you choose one and you leave the other on the bed It's going to take less than 60 seconds to put it on the hanger So that keeps me clean and tidy. 21:00.041 --> 21:11.151 [SPEAKER_00]: I try to run the dishwasher before I go to sleep Have an empty sink that always just feels good I keep my car pretty empty. 21:11.171 --> 21:15.936 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't really like anything in the visible part of my car my trunk 21:15.916 --> 21:37.097 [SPEAKER_00]: Has a lot right now, which also I'm holding a bunch of stuff of my friends because she's in the process of moving right now In subsequently, there's not one but two air pods Beryed within her things and my phone notifies me all the time that I have I just called them air pods that I have air tags following me 21:38.410 --> 21:39.713 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, I know! 21:39.733 --> 21:40.735 [SPEAKER_00]: I know! 21:40.755 --> 21:43.721 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how to sign it up and be like, it's mine right now! 21:43.821 --> 21:44.883 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm borrowing it! 21:44.903 --> 21:50.454 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm keeping it in the trunk, but I keep my car pretty empty. 21:50.494 --> 21:59.372 [SPEAKER_00]: There's all the usual, like, a hand cream, a hairbrush, a tampon, a hand sanitizer, a pair of sunglasses, and a hair clip in the middle console. 21:59.740 --> 22:15.295 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe a pepper spray and a nail file, and a car charger, and then in the trunk I like to keep a beach blanket that also works at the park, a bikini flip-flops, extra running shoes and socks, and a jacket. 22:15.676 --> 22:17.017 [SPEAKER_00]: My kitchen's kind of a mess. 22:18.038 --> 22:23.243 [SPEAKER_00]: The pans just are in a pile underneath cabinets, so there's nothing really there. 22:23.924 --> 22:25.145 [SPEAKER_00]: How am I organizing my life? 22:25.165 --> 22:27.047 [SPEAKER_00]: That's such a big question. 22:27.027 --> 22:43.838 [SPEAKER_00]: You need to ask me more specifically like how are you organizing your socks and I'll tell you how my organizing my life I have visuals and lists and thoughts everywhere Madey Armstrong asked why is my music boring me please help 22:43.818 --> 22:45.761 [SPEAKER_00]: You can go on to my Spotify. 22:45.781 --> 22:48.745 [SPEAKER_00]: You can listen to any. 22:48.805 --> 22:59.120 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I have a bunch of playlists, public, but I think the love story, JFK, Carolyn Bassett, soundtracks, pretty great if you want to feel a little 90s. 22:59.661 --> 23:01.623 [SPEAKER_00]: I love Rosalia's latest album. 23:01.643 --> 23:04.948 [SPEAKER_00]: I love, um, 23:06.515 --> 23:08.079 [SPEAKER_00]: What else have I been joined lately? 23:08.540 --> 23:13.133 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're sick of music, I think that's a good time to swap to maybe an audio book or podcast. 23:13.935 --> 23:15.078 [SPEAKER_00]: Or hear me out. 23:15.739 --> 23:18.246 [SPEAKER_00]: Call me crazy silence. 23:18.901 --> 23:21.446 [SPEAKER_00]: And eventually you'll find an album that you're into. 23:21.486 --> 23:26.255 [SPEAKER_00]: Audrey Hover is gonna come on and you're like, yes, so me I wanna be wanted and it's all gonna be better. 23:26.736 --> 23:33.108 [SPEAKER_00]: Maddie Gales, that how to truly get over an X, help me, you need to find a way for them to give you the X. 23:33.128 --> 23:34.210 [SPEAKER_00]: You need to get the X. 23:34.611 --> 23:37.216 [SPEAKER_00]: And once you get the X, you'll be over them. 23:38.017 --> 23:41.584 [SPEAKER_00]: Take a little rest, you have any plans to bring back pick my fit, love you. 23:41.564 --> 23:48.911 [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, no, and you know why it was fun for the moment, but no one in the audience was like, bring it back! 23:48.931 --> 23:49.751 [SPEAKER_00]: Where has it been? 23:49.791 --> 23:54.796 [SPEAKER_00]: Where's when I took a measly two, three weeks off of the podcast? 23:55.136 --> 23:56.517 [SPEAKER_00]: The amount of DMs that I got? 23:56.858 --> 23:57.719 [SPEAKER_00]: Where's the podcast? 23:57.759 --> 23:58.339 [SPEAKER_00]: Where have you been? 23:58.379 --> 23:59.280 [SPEAKER_00]: Even in the Q&A? 23:59.760 --> 24:00.401 [SPEAKER_00]: Where have you been? 24:00.421 --> 24:02.763 [SPEAKER_00]: I knew that that was something people wanted. 24:02.903 --> 24:06.406 [SPEAKER_00]: Even did his day people still ask, where's your weird series on YouTube? 24:06.466 --> 24:11.571 [SPEAKER_00]: I missed that. 24:11.551 --> 24:17.178 [SPEAKER_00]: and just have a photo and a link for everything and just a little caption instead of making a full YouTube video about it. 24:18.259 --> 24:27.329 [SPEAKER_00]: But no one really asked for a pick my fit so I haven't felt inclined to bring it back. 24:27.349 --> 24:33.897 [SPEAKER_00]: Zahra is a jeezing moving into a new apartment, King Garage Relations, as I just expressed how difficult the apartment hunt is. 24:34.338 --> 24:35.679 [SPEAKER_00]: That's amazing that you found a place. 24:36.180 --> 24:40.765 [SPEAKER_00]: What our three must have to make it more homey. 24:41.842 --> 24:45.948 [SPEAKER_00]: I love buying art, I love investing in art, and I love big art. 24:46.829 --> 24:52.577 [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of wasting time in my opinion on a gallery wall, get one huge piece of art. 24:53.038 --> 25:02.331 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I've had art that I've spent more than a grand on, and I have this Monet in a gold. 25:02.311 --> 25:27.762 [SPEAKER_00]: frame that's just as big that I found at the thrift store for I don't know I'm not kidding like maybe $30 maybe 25 so I get huge piece of art biggest that you can find that you love then another way I make my home feel homeier is magnets and photos on the fridge any little love note 25:29.193 --> 25:33.117 [SPEAKER_00]: any film strip from a photo booth on the fridge. 25:33.617 --> 25:34.718 [SPEAKER_00]: And then three. 25:34.778 --> 25:44.126 [SPEAKER_00]: Ruggs always make it feel homey. 25:49.151 --> 25:57.158 [SPEAKER_00]: Zara also such a struggling to Southeast Asia and each travel ruggs I've only been to Thailand and it was back in 2016. 25:58.707 --> 26:06.778 [SPEAKER_00]: But I say just probably look on TikTok or explore on feet on foot. 26:07.799 --> 26:09.702 [SPEAKER_00]: This thing on feet sounded weird and I didn't know why. 26:10.022 --> 26:12.566 [SPEAKER_00]: And I want to know, can Sealer Rex from Sephora. 26:12.586 --> 26:15.369 [SPEAKER_00]: I want something creamy, me and coverage and buildable. 26:16.451 --> 26:18.634 [SPEAKER_00]: Make up by Mario's creamy concealer. 26:18.754 --> 26:20.657 [SPEAKER_00]: It is so good. 26:20.957 --> 26:21.878 [SPEAKER_00]: It's so good. 26:22.299 --> 26:24.702 [SPEAKER_00]: And a little goes a really, really long way. 26:24.722 --> 26:26.925 [SPEAKER_00]: It's... 26:26.905 --> 26:29.449 [SPEAKER_00]: I would say it could be full coverage, but I love it. 26:29.589 --> 26:41.686 [SPEAKER_00]: Another one that I love that doesn't get enough credit is Ilias, Quincy Ler, I don't think that they still make it or it's been reformulated, but that one I also really like so go on to swore and try it out, but make it by Mariel. 26:42.608 --> 26:43.129 [SPEAKER_00]: Chef's kiss. 26:43.569 --> 26:51.781 [SPEAKER_00]: And I also said people always say that I'm so positive, even though I have a very dysfunctional family, but to be honest, I'm just so tired of everything. 26:52.042 --> 26:54.465 [SPEAKER_00]: How can I cheer myself up even if I have no energy? 26:55.998 --> 26:57.661 [SPEAKER_00]: one retweet. 26:59.704 --> 27:00.164 [SPEAKER_00]: I see you. 27:00.245 --> 27:00.805 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel you. 27:00.825 --> 27:01.346 [SPEAKER_00]: I am you. 27:03.389 --> 27:09.358 [SPEAKER_00]: This is when you have to embody rest and instead of telling yourself, oh, but I'm so optimistic. 27:09.419 --> 27:14.206 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm always the sparkly bright eyeed happy one. 27:14.246 --> 27:16.289 [SPEAKER_00]: What am I supposed to do? 27:16.329 --> 27:16.970 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 27:16.990 --> 27:19.614 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, then you're going to start spending nights in and you're going to say, you know what? 27:19.634 --> 27:20.415 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to do nothing. 27:21.096 --> 27:24.722 [SPEAKER_00]: And once I 27:24.702 --> 27:28.690 [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to record this podcast, but it was so physically tired, not mentally tired. 27:28.750 --> 27:35.703 [SPEAKER_00]: I took like a three hour walk with spoon today and I worked out class in the morning and I just needed to be horizontal. 27:35.723 --> 27:37.647 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, you can lay down. 27:37.707 --> 27:39.030 [SPEAKER_00]: You can take an app. 27:39.050 --> 27:41.394 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to record the podcast today if you don't want to. 27:41.414 --> 27:45.462 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I don't have to. 27:45.442 --> 27:51.878 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, suddenly 10 minutes on the couch was fine, and I'm good to go, and now let me record. 27:51.958 --> 28:00.480 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you have no energy, sometimes allowing yourself to say, you don't have energy to do this, don't do it. 28:01.540 --> 28:15.101 [SPEAKER_00]: I have no energy right now, my cup is empty, I can't fill yours up, and I'm always surprised that a lot of times it only takes between 12 and 36 hours to really recharge. 28:15.742 --> 28:28.662 [SPEAKER_00]: Alternatively, you might be around people that are taking energy from you, so if you do have those friends in your life that give you energy, rely on them, they might copy so empty, let's have a day, I need it. 28:28.709 --> 28:29.771 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't even have to tell them that. 28:29.791 --> 28:31.453 [SPEAKER_00]: You can just give them a call and then by the end of it. 28:31.493 --> 28:37.481 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes when I'm in my own head and I'm so deep in a potential pay party for myself. 28:37.562 --> 28:40.225 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just like, yeah, I'm having such a hard time, I'm in a rut. 28:40.245 --> 28:41.107 [SPEAKER_00]: When, when, when, why? 28:41.147 --> 28:47.055 [SPEAKER_00]: To call a friend and not talk about yourself and just ask them how they are and listen. 28:47.035 --> 29:11.608 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it always makes me feel so much better, because sometimes I'm in my own head thinking about myself, ruminating on something related to me, something else related to me, a third thing related to me, that one of the best ways to get out of a rut is to get out of your own head and start listening to a loved one, which kind of answers, violates question 29:13.360 --> 29:15.985 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel good ending the episode on this a little quick. 29:16.446 --> 29:17.148 [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, hello. 29:17.168 --> 29:20.975 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm turning 30, need to plan a party. 29:20.995 --> 29:23.561 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope I answered some questions at the side. 29:24.062 --> 29:31.777 [SPEAKER_00]: And then, over nine minutes, talk about on the Patreon, because I always do extended ad for your episodes for the Patreon. 29:31.797 --> 29:33.681 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to have to give it a little thoughts. 29:33.661 --> 29:37.588 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk about American guilt and productivity. 29:37.829 --> 29:46.725 [SPEAKER_00]: Why do we feel this need to be so incredibly productive and I'm going to do the Patreon portion on a walk outside because the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. 29:47.186 --> 29:49.951 [SPEAKER_00]: And I have a microphone that has little wind protectors. 29:50.011 --> 29:54.319 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're interested in listening to that, I will have it linked down below for everyone else. 29:54.299 --> 30:00.115 [SPEAKER_00]: I will see you on YouTube, on Instagram, or back here on the show next week. 30:00.355 --> 30:00.857 [SPEAKER_00]: I love you all. 30:00.897 --> 30:03.103 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so, so, so, so, so, so much for listening. 30:03.163 --> 30:03.805 [SPEAKER_00]: Talk to you soon. 30:04.045 --> 30:05.209 [SPEAKER_00]: XOXO, XO. 30:05.329 --> 30:05.389 [SPEAKER_00]: XO.