WEBVTT 00:02.191 --> 00:05.016 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey everyone, welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 00:05.236 --> 00:11.568 [SPEAKER_00]: Today is going to be a little bit different because I am actually sharing an episode of a different podcast, part in the mess. 00:12.089 --> 00:15.575 [SPEAKER_00]: Part in the mess is another wonderful podcast from Christian parenting. 00:15.615 --> 00:18.901 [SPEAKER_00]: It's hosted by Courtney DeVail, who is absolutely lovely. 00:18.981 --> 00:20.384 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that you're going to really like her. 00:20.444 --> 00:25.633 [SPEAKER_00]: And I am sharing this episode with you because I loved it that much that I wanted you to hear it. 00:25.613 --> 00:34.011 [SPEAKER_00]: I actually heard Courtney interview this guest her name's Elaine Franklin a few years ago and a lot of what she shared really stuck with me all these years. 00:34.111 --> 00:38.921 [SPEAKER_00]: And so when I saw that Courtney interviewed her again, I knew that this is exactly what I wanted to do. 00:39.743 --> 00:44.854 [SPEAKER_00]: In this episode, Courtney sits down with Elaine and they talk about time management through the political lens. 00:44.834 --> 00:49.707 [SPEAKER_00]: So Elaine introduces this concept of Circle of Care versus Circle of Responsibility. 00:49.727 --> 00:52.915 [SPEAKER_00]: And you guys, this was absolutely transformative for me. 00:53.417 --> 01:00.295 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you've heard about this before, maybe not, but it's been so helpful in my life, and I hope that it's really helpful in yours as well. 01:00.275 --> 01:12.476 [SPEAKER_00]: She also explains why knowing your purpose and your mission matter before building a schedule, how margin protects our families and our faith in why creating a to stop list can be just as important as a to-do list. 01:13.017 --> 01:22.232 [SPEAKER_00]: This conversation also gets really practical with tools like calendar meetings, identifying high-end low-energy rhythms, guarding against over-commitment, which I think that we all need. 01:22.573 --> 01:26.299 [SPEAKER_00]: And learning when it's time to give someone or something the gift of 01:26.279 --> 01:37.521 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you have ever felt busy, but on fulfilled, and a little bit frazzled, and ready to stop running on empty and start living with a little more intention, this episode is definitely for you, and I hope that you like. 01:43.913 --> 01:45.935 [SPEAKER_03]: Elaine, welcome to part in the mess. 01:45.975 --> 01:47.097 [SPEAKER_03]: How are you doing today? 01:47.297 --> 01:48.839 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm doing wonderfully well. 01:48.939 --> 01:50.000 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Courtney. 01:50.040 --> 01:53.444 [SPEAKER_01]: It's an honor to talk with you again. 01:53.684 --> 01:56.347 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, you're very kind and flexible because I looked this morning. 01:56.367 --> 01:59.991 [SPEAKER_03]: It was like, I didn't even send her the email with the details and the link. 02:00.011 --> 02:00.552 [SPEAKER_03]: No, all that. 02:00.592 --> 02:03.576 [SPEAKER_03]: So you've just jumped on and asked so appreciated. 02:03.596 --> 02:06.118 [SPEAKER_03]: But why don't you introduce yourself to my audience. 02:06.199 --> 02:07.680 [SPEAKER_03]: It may not be familiar with you. 02:07.760 --> 02:08.922 [SPEAKER_03]: Kind of who you are. 02:08.962 --> 02:10.343 [SPEAKER_03]: What do you're up to these days? 02:10.363 --> 02:10.964 [SPEAKER_03]: Stay July. 02:11.024 --> 02:11.845 [SPEAKER_03]: All that good stuff. 02:11.825 --> 02:28.549 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I am, uh, and as you can tell with my exercise clothes on just got back from my better body, better body balance exercise class because that is part of an important part of my time management right now to be sure and and do that. 02:28.850 --> 02:31.594 [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm, uh, well, let's see how do I begin this. 02:31.934 --> 02:33.917 [SPEAKER_01]: My life is full. 02:33.937 --> 02:36.060 [SPEAKER_01]: I have good health and 02:36.040 --> 02:39.704 [SPEAKER_01]: at the age where a 77 years of age. 02:40.606 --> 02:43.369 [SPEAKER_01]: My husband says we say 77 years young. 02:43.409 --> 02:50.438 [SPEAKER_01]: We are enjoying live traveling and loving being grandparents. 02:50.538 --> 02:54.623 [SPEAKER_01]: And of course, still parents to our two children and four grandchildren. 02:54.863 --> 02:56.445 [SPEAKER_01]: Even I, 02:57.573 --> 03:20.897 [SPEAKER_01]: have had a lovely 56 plus years of marriage and I have gone from early on in our marriage being a school teacher to then being I called myself a professional volunteer while the children are in school from kindergarten through high school I think I was the room mother of one or both of them every year because they're 03:20.877 --> 03:23.942 [SPEAKER_01]: There were other people who would volunteer, and I just didn't. 03:24.103 --> 03:40.472 [SPEAKER_01]: Stephen, I love our work with our church, we have a special, I think our shared gifting is hospitality, so we enjoy working with young couples, we have small groups of young couples in their first or second year of marriage for a long long time. 03:40.452 --> 03:54.994 [SPEAKER_01]: And now we do in our church, two to one mentoring, we work with young couples who are engaged and go through a program that our church has to kind of get them started in a hopefully a good way by the time they get to their wedding. 03:55.215 --> 04:05.751 [SPEAKER_01]: We just, we have a statement, I have a lot of fun together and enjoying life, travel, loving people that we can be with and be around. 04:06.018 --> 04:08.482 [SPEAKER_03]: So inspiring and y'all are in the Atlanta area. 04:08.502 --> 04:08.922 [SPEAKER_03]: Is that right? 04:09.203 --> 04:09.743 [SPEAKER_01]: We are. 04:09.944 --> 04:10.585 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, thank you. 04:10.605 --> 04:11.907 [SPEAKER_01]: We are in Atlanta. 04:11.927 --> 04:16.694 [SPEAKER_01]: We have lived here for most of the 56 plus years of marriage. 04:16.814 --> 04:17.134 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 04:17.655 --> 04:27.930 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, some most of the audience knows I'm from Atlanta and early married was going to North Point and Buckhead church and I think I learned about you first from Kylie White or Ashley no one. 04:27.950 --> 04:31.435 [SPEAKER_03]: I can't remember which one is Kylie the one that you ventured. 04:31.415 --> 04:32.276 [SPEAKER_03]: What are the other? 04:32.477 --> 04:36.564 [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, I'm, unless they Kylie tomorrow, I'm so, so excited. 04:36.944 --> 04:37.505 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, my gosh. 04:37.525 --> 04:40.571 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, your name definitely circled in the Atlanta area. 04:40.591 --> 04:54.334 [SPEAKER_03]: It's just, and your husband, just a couple to learn from, and so I just appreciate all the things that you've done behind the scenes, and just kind of like Regina Williams, who I've talked about on this podcast, just your impact will ripple into so many generations, which is just 04:54.314 --> 04:56.337 [SPEAKER_03]: really, really cool and inspiring. 04:56.377 --> 05:04.889 [SPEAKER_03]: So thank you, but today's topic was is time management, and you came on my podcast, previous podcasts, years ago, and so much of what you said stuck with me. 05:04.949 --> 05:13.381 [SPEAKER_03]: And so I wanted moms to kind of just have a framework for, we're all busy, calendars, crazy, but kind of have a biblical lens of time management. 05:13.441 --> 05:16.084 [SPEAKER_03]: So what does God say about time management? 05:16.225 --> 05:22.954 [SPEAKER_01]: Wow, there are many 05:22.934 --> 05:33.203 [SPEAKER_01]: And he just let's just know that he has a will and in our time and in our planning the number one thing that I've grown to do and I did it when I was younger. 05:33.703 --> 05:37.607 [SPEAKER_01]: But even more intentionally now is to seek his will first. 05:37.807 --> 05:52.840 [SPEAKER_01]: He has a plan and it's so far better than the plans that I make. 05:52.820 --> 05:55.763 [SPEAKER_01]: as wisdom to share with us. 05:55.983 --> 06:06.375 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's why we see Kim because it really to be a wise, time manager takes first of all time with him seeking his will. 06:06.755 --> 06:06.995 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 06:07.436 --> 06:07.796 [SPEAKER_03]: I love it. 06:07.816 --> 06:09.218 [SPEAKER_03]: So why is it so hard? 06:09.258 --> 06:15.124 [SPEAKER_03]: I think it's hard for everybody, but especially as bombs, it just feels like you can never get it under control. 06:15.204 --> 06:15.925 [SPEAKER_03]: But how? 06:15.905 --> 06:19.831 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, why is it so hard to you or did you find it hard to manage your time as a mom? 06:19.851 --> 06:24.758 [SPEAKER_01]: Did, but I will say, because I had good training when I was growing up. 06:25.259 --> 06:28.865 [SPEAKER_01]: My mother and dad were great time managers. 06:29.285 --> 06:34.453 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that has a lot to do with what you take into your team years in your adulthood. 06:34.433 --> 06:39.100 [SPEAKER_01]: What has been modeled for you, so I was very, very blessed and fortunate. 06:39.300 --> 06:46.831 [SPEAKER_01]: And I had that temperament, and that's where I would encourage young women, as well as older women to maybe start. 06:46.851 --> 06:48.473 [SPEAKER_01]: How did God make me? 06:48.693 --> 06:50.035 [SPEAKER_01]: How did he nurture me? 06:50.516 --> 06:52.459 [SPEAKER_01]: How did he make me? 06:52.699 --> 06:58.467 [SPEAKER_01]: And if I really look at what he put within my heart within my soul. 06:58.447 --> 07:22.497 [SPEAKER_01]: is important and how to do it and with that I think comes as I shared with you long ago understanding that there is a circle of responsibility that I am in and then there's also I have a circle of care inside of which that circle of responsibility lies and for from the time that I was a mother 07:22.477 --> 07:28.027 [SPEAKER_01]: I realized that my children were in my circle of responsibility. 07:28.668 --> 07:31.413 [SPEAKER_01]: My husband is in my circle of responsibility. 07:31.453 --> 07:32.796 [SPEAKER_01]: That's just how I saw it. 07:33.437 --> 07:39.608 [SPEAKER_01]: And then everybody else and everything else could be either in the circle of care or in the circle of don't care. 07:40.029 --> 07:42.814 [SPEAKER_01]: That's from the perspective from where I started. 07:42.794 --> 07:44.957 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, I have to be honest on two things. 07:45.318 --> 07:48.723 [SPEAKER_03]: One, I am a free spirit, creative ADHD. 07:49.384 --> 07:51.507 [SPEAKER_03]: All the things my husband is very measured. 07:52.188 --> 08:02.283 [SPEAKER_03]: And because I've had the flexibility to work from home and have all kinds of different jobs, it has been freeing and fun, but I really struggle in this area to keep a consistent schedule. 08:02.343 --> 08:03.986 [SPEAKER_03]: And I've been doing good with this podcast. 08:04.006 --> 08:05.248 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, okay, two stay Thursdays. 08:05.308 --> 08:11.417 [SPEAKER_03]: I podcasted in these hours, but I have found that particularly fun at times to be like, 08:11.397 --> 08:17.069 [SPEAKER_03]: But then it's kind of like when there's no vision or no guardrails, you just add everything all the time. 08:17.771 --> 08:22.982 [SPEAKER_03]: And I really need you to say that to me long ago, because I care deeply about everyone. 08:23.022 --> 08:27.231 [SPEAKER_03]: And I want to fix it and jump in and volunteer and never disappoint anybody. 08:27.251 --> 08:29.676 [SPEAKER_03]: But I had them all in that mixing bowl of like, 08:29.656 --> 08:37.590 [SPEAKER_03]: It's everybody, it's my kids, it's my in-laws, it's my parents, the people at church, the people at school, and it really helped me to go. 08:37.610 --> 08:39.774 [SPEAKER_03]: I know you care about that, and that is great. 08:40.035 --> 08:45.485 [SPEAKER_03]: But what is most important is what God's college would be responsible for, so it was hugely helpful to me. 08:45.505 --> 08:51.816 [SPEAKER_03]: And I have to remind myself of it a lot, because I'm like sometimes I'll prioritize a stranger over Ron, and he's like, hello. 08:51.796 --> 08:53.238 [SPEAKER_03]: of your spells over here. 08:53.258 --> 08:58.945 [SPEAKER_03]: And then another thing I was thinking I was trying to get to like what are some of the underlying reasons. 08:59.266 --> 09:02.189 [SPEAKER_03]: Maybe that we overcome it and we stay so busy. 09:02.450 --> 09:04.753 [SPEAKER_03]: Couple of mine are like fear of missing out. 09:05.133 --> 09:08.237 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't like letting other people down or what they might think of me. 09:08.317 --> 09:09.499 [SPEAKER_03]: These are all terrible reasons. 09:10.099 --> 09:11.021 [SPEAKER_03]: I think comparison. 09:11.061 --> 09:16.307 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, well, she has a job in 11 kids and her hair looks good. 09:16.408 --> 09:16.808 [SPEAKER_03]: And I 09:16.788 --> 09:39.943 [SPEAKER_03]: What, like you think you should have all this capacity so it's been humbling over time to go like I don't have all that time and I don't have to prove it to anybody and I need to be a right where God wants me to be and so just encourage the moms that are kind of feeling all of this swirling that are like it's really overwhelming and there's a lot underneath that for me it goes to the point where we've spoke of which is 09:39.923 --> 09:53.721 [SPEAKER_01]: looking at what is the most important thing, which all you see in James, particularly in the Psalm with David and his cries out to God, that that's where we start. 09:54.142 --> 10:05.256 [SPEAKER_01]: And if we look at Jesus and one of the ways I end my prayers most every time now is Lord, please help me to know Jesus better and to be more like Jesus. 10:05.236 --> 10:09.923 [SPEAKER_01]: In doing that and in asking him that, he said, okay, well, you got to look at Jesus then. 10:09.963 --> 10:11.005 [SPEAKER_01]: How did he do it? 10:11.025 --> 10:21.762 [SPEAKER_01]: To be honest and be simple, the first thing he did before he started his earthly ministry was those 40 days out in the desert. 10:22.102 --> 10:24.005 [SPEAKER_01]: He went to the Lord. 10:24.025 --> 10:29.594 [SPEAKER_01]: He really found out who he was, what he was to do, and I do this with clients in my coaching. 10:29.774 --> 10:32.458 [SPEAKER_01]: We start with, what is your purpose? 10:32.708 --> 10:35.456 [SPEAKER_01]: Why is put you on the face of this earth? 10:35.516 --> 10:44.642 [SPEAKER_01]: And until you get at the core understanding, you get core clarity of why you're here, why, what is your why? 10:45.010 --> 11:04.453 [SPEAKER_01]: then it's easier to go to what is my mission and when you know your mission you start to understand to whom have I been given or whom am I doing this and that's why mentioned that circle response book where where do I exist within that I am with 11:04.433 --> 11:14.647 [SPEAKER_01]: My husband, first, and my children, and even now, it's hard for me sometimes to realize, my grandchildren are in my circle of care. 11:15.228 --> 11:17.671 [SPEAKER_01]: They are in my responsibility. 11:17.691 --> 11:23.339 [SPEAKER_01]: So you get clarity in your core with that, your purpose and your mission. 11:23.560 --> 11:28.146 [SPEAKER_01]: Then God, then God, often when you spend the time with and gives him 11:28.126 --> 11:29.688 [SPEAKER_01]: his vision for you. 11:29.909 --> 11:44.309 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's when we start saying who the who out there that you're being called to where he wants you to go and how he wants you to listen to the places are the people to whom he invites you. 11:44.329 --> 11:46.793 [SPEAKER_01]: He makes that clear then. 11:46.773 --> 12:09.507 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's not just guessing and you can say not now, but maybe later to the people who hasn't invited you to be in their life or things or opportunities that he hasn't invited you at this moment in time to do the moment in time is what's so important and only he can give you that list. 12:09.487 --> 12:38.278 [SPEAKER_03]: I love it and I kind of give me the verse about without vision people perish and maybe you into that to her but it's talked about even in your giving like your charitable things which are all good things but when her and John really focused on where they were going to spend most of their time pouring into from the schools that they do in Africa to all that they said it helped them filter requests because it's like if you get 10 requests to give and to serve and to do all 12:38.258 --> 12:39.521 [SPEAKER_03]: really, really helpful. 12:40.002 --> 12:43.571 [SPEAKER_03]: What are some helpful tools that people are like, I just know I'm still overwhelmed. 12:43.591 --> 12:46.819 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, you just gave some great framework, but is there something really practical? 12:46.959 --> 12:56.402 [SPEAKER_03]: I know long ago, Regina said, have you looked at your wallet, your bank account, and have you looked at your schedule to see like, are those things matching up with what you say is important? 12:56.382 --> 13:05.688 [SPEAKER_03]: Like if we say, or kids' character is more important than their sports performance, but we're spending 90% of our time on a ball field, is that matching up? 13:05.748 --> 13:11.404 [SPEAKER_03]: So what are some helpful tools where we can get really honest and assess where we're at with time management? 13:11.384 --> 13:21.957 [SPEAKER_01]: And thinking about time management, I put it in the category of three of the most important things that we have to decide about to plan for, to manage. 13:22.658 --> 13:40.800 [SPEAKER_01]: And of course, we have our talents, how God's made us, and how we give it, what we give, how we grow it, how we develop it, so talents one, treasure, as you mentioned, where do 13:40.780 --> 13:43.863 [SPEAKER_01]: And then the third one and the one we're talking about is time. 13:44.444 --> 13:51.232 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you look at those three, there's one of them that we all have equal amounts of. 13:51.252 --> 13:52.974 [SPEAKER_01]: We have different tenor moments. 13:52.994 --> 13:58.720 [SPEAKER_01]: We have different amounts of money and ability to make money, but we have the same 24 hours in a day. 13:59.241 --> 13:59.561 [SPEAKER_01]: Love it. 14:00.022 --> 14:09.032 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think through my work because we have addiction in our family, 14:09.738 --> 14:15.851 [SPEAKER_01]: for several years, realizing that life really is one day at a time. 14:16.352 --> 14:19.539 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, and there's enough in this day to keep me busy. 14:19.579 --> 14:25.452 [SPEAKER_01]: Now does that mean I don't plan and have my big hairy audacious goals and salute, I truly do. 14:25.432 --> 14:36.022 [SPEAKER_01]: But all of that comes in the context of the fact that the sturdying of time is crucial and it is an equalized to some degree. 14:36.542 --> 14:43.269 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, naturally there are people have to work to jobs or three jobs and their time is different. 14:43.809 --> 14:52.097 [SPEAKER_01]: But when you hear people who do that and they still have success in their lives, you have to say, well, how do they do it? 14:52.077 --> 14:55.381 [SPEAKER_01]: is because with purpose, they've moved into it. 14:55.781 --> 15:00.187 [SPEAKER_01]: They have a mission that they're wanting to fulfill. 15:00.367 --> 15:03.270 [SPEAKER_01]: I would say, that's why time management is so important. 15:03.290 --> 15:04.972 [SPEAKER_01]: If I could just add this one last thing. 15:05.012 --> 15:05.793 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, please. 15:06.054 --> 15:09.337 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's such a great concept of time management. 15:09.378 --> 15:15.044 [SPEAKER_01]: When I came into our marriage, I married someone who was very similar to what you described as yourself. 15:15.605 --> 15:15.705 [UNKNOWN]: Yeah. 15:15.787 --> 15:17.510 [SPEAKER_01]: Steve is very serendipity. 15:17.771 --> 15:19.073 [SPEAKER_01]: He's very gregarious. 15:19.454 --> 15:22.058 [SPEAKER_01]: He goes with the flow, somebody. 15:22.719 --> 15:28.610 [SPEAKER_01]: I will say, I've learned a lot from Steve because he has to use tools. 15:28.810 --> 15:32.116 [SPEAKER_01]: He has to use tools to manage his time well. 15:32.457 --> 15:38.267 [SPEAKER_01]: He even has a notebook of days with A's and B's and C's. 15:38.247 --> 15:40.210 [SPEAKER_01]: wow, just priorities. 15:40.370 --> 15:50.967 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think given your personalities how you adjust to how you use now, can someone like me who's grown up, manage my time, get off course, absolutely. 15:51.387 --> 15:52.068 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 15:52.088 --> 15:57.657 [SPEAKER_01]: So tools, yes, that can help us and we can talk some about those if you'd like. 15:57.637 --> 16:11.234 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I'd love that one of the things Ron is very much like you and he is an executive and where he is because he's so good at it and he has so much and I don't know how he's alive with all that's on his plate, but he has he struggles with flexibility. 16:11.334 --> 16:12.658 [SPEAKER_03]: So when he feels like he's got a 16:12.638 --> 16:39.726 [SPEAKER_03]: system and this is where our counter is and we said we were doing this if it shifts he gets really unrattled and so I have to encourage him to go like hey it's gonna change like just when you think you buckled into elementary years in the carpool and the pickup in the game it shifts and then they're in high school and they're driving and all that but he's done a great job but can you speak to that just the idea of being like yes get a plan but yes realize that your kids 16:39.706 --> 16:41.529 [SPEAKER_03]: Your job changes all the time. 16:41.549 --> 16:42.811 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm absolutely rent. 16:42.831 --> 16:44.974 [SPEAKER_01]: Steve gave me the first Christmas. 16:45.395 --> 16:47.498 [SPEAKER_01]: He gave me our first Christmas together. 16:47.979 --> 16:51.044 [SPEAKER_01]: The devotional book, my utmost for his highest. 16:51.204 --> 16:51.765 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 16:51.785 --> 16:53.067 [SPEAKER_01]: I was looking for it. 16:53.087 --> 16:53.387 [SPEAKER_01]: Love it. 16:53.688 --> 16:58.896 [SPEAKER_01]: And I know the date because it's my favorite one because I needed it the most at the time. 16:59.116 --> 16:59.937 [SPEAKER_01]: April 19th. 17:00.538 --> 17:04.785 [SPEAKER_01]: And Oswell said, Ungarded Strength is a double weakness. 17:04.765 --> 17:10.474 [SPEAKER_01]: So I threw where our strength flies, and yours is in the sand dippeting gregarious. 17:10.754 --> 17:11.275 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 17:11.295 --> 17:12.176 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 17:12.797 --> 17:15.922 [SPEAKER_01]: Mine is ADC's one, two, three. 17:16.002 --> 17:18.045 [SPEAKER_01]: This is check the list of the grocery store. 17:18.566 --> 17:24.835 [SPEAKER_01]: I take, if you carry that strength to an extreme, that's where people see us weak. 17:24.855 --> 17:26.377 [SPEAKER_01]: That's where we're now. 17:26.958 --> 17:32.747 [SPEAKER_01]: So I think as a mother, one of the things I learned, is if I over-plan, 17:32.727 --> 17:35.751 [SPEAKER_01]: If I've gone to check off, check off, check off. 17:35.771 --> 17:41.298 [SPEAKER_01]: It's going to not do me any good because my children are going to look at me and see weakness. 17:41.659 --> 17:46.425 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, they're going to be wished away because they're not just like you. 17:46.825 --> 17:55.697 [SPEAKER_01]: So I have to be your great word flexible in all of that when I think a mother needs to be absolutely flexible. 17:56.065 --> 18:05.163 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because we don't want our strengths because the temptation is to take it to the extreme, particularly when we're stressed when there's so much. 18:05.404 --> 18:05.664 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 18:05.965 --> 18:06.205 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 18:06.787 --> 18:12.298 [SPEAKER_03]: And my double weakness would be so fly by the seat of my pants that the kids are like, can we get some structure? 18:12.378 --> 18:13.139 [SPEAKER_03]: Like are we eating? 18:13.179 --> 18:14.442 [SPEAKER_03]: So we won't have. 18:14.462 --> 18:17.989 [SPEAKER_03]: But I think just what you started with, like knowing our personalities, 18:18.138 --> 18:21.462 [SPEAKER_03]: no one how God wired us will help us kind of enter this so helpful. 18:21.842 --> 18:23.144 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, let's talk margin. 18:23.204 --> 18:27.529 [SPEAKER_03]: I have had seasons of great margin and seasons of no margin. 18:27.569 --> 18:32.596 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm very remember driving to pick one of the girls at first school and I was shaking. 18:32.876 --> 18:37.562 [SPEAKER_03]: Like my insights were shaking and my body was like, I mean, I just didn't know if I was going to get there on time. 18:37.582 --> 18:42.427 [SPEAKER_03]: I was always running late and one time I just was driving but I went the wrong way and I was like something. 18:42.528 --> 18:44.550 [SPEAKER_03]: There's way too much of my 18:44.530 --> 18:54.444 [SPEAKER_03]: If I'm getting lost and my body is shaking and so there's a extreme examples, but why is margin just a huge piece for moms to incorporate for that reason? 18:55.265 --> 18:56.847 [SPEAKER_03]: No burnout mental breakdowns. 18:57.688 --> 18:58.890 [SPEAKER_01]: The consequences? 18:59.110 --> 19:10.065 [SPEAKER_01]: I think seeing margins is one thing that if we are aware and this is again the wisdom when we go to God and spend time with him. 19:10.720 --> 19:29.626 [SPEAKER_01]: this way and if we the gun like Jesus and we spent time with the Lord then when we get out like his his second group was alone time then he had time with his apostles which we could call our family or our close close friends or whatever and then he went out to do his ministry. 19:29.986 --> 19:35.614 [SPEAKER_01]: So if we know our priorities that helps us have guardrails. 19:35.594 --> 19:37.296 [SPEAKER_01]: And what are guardrails for? 19:37.556 --> 19:45.205 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think the guardrail would be if I have listed and spent time with God, God, what are priorities you want me to have? 19:45.426 --> 19:46.947 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I have to write things down. 19:46.987 --> 19:48.009 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm a visual learner. 19:48.669 --> 19:58.521 [SPEAKER_01]: So I, every once in a while, regroup with, okay, what are at this point in my life or at this point in the year, my top priorities? 19:58.541 --> 20:00.403 [SPEAKER_01]: Am I giving Steve? 20:00.383 --> 20:05.277 [SPEAKER_01]: 20% of my time and I actually do a diagram for myself. 20:05.377 --> 20:12.537 [SPEAKER_01]: I make a circle and divide it up and I consider each one of those lines that I cut the pie up into. 20:12.837 --> 20:14.419 [SPEAKER_01]: somewhat of a guardrail. 20:14.779 --> 20:20.025 [SPEAKER_01]: If I Yeah, who's to war into one, I'm taking away from another. 20:20.245 --> 20:22.548 [SPEAKER_01]: So I have to keep those in mind and keep them. 20:22.568 --> 20:29.236 [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, I dug out when you at first asked me this and, you know, it's just it's so simple to do. 20:29.336 --> 20:34.041 [SPEAKER_01]: I found a sheet that I had last done of creating my circle. 20:34.322 --> 20:42.591 [SPEAKER_01]: And it just helps me have perspective as to what I end to give my time, giving it away 20:42.773 --> 20:44.175 [SPEAKER_01]: pushes other things. 20:44.235 --> 20:47.460 [SPEAKER_01]: There are priorities I have, and then I get all twiddled. 20:48.321 --> 20:53.148 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, frazzled, for sure, but you have the guardrails. 20:53.188 --> 20:55.892 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's one way I create guardrails for myself. 20:56.173 --> 20:56.754 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that. 20:57.154 --> 21:02.622 [SPEAKER_03]: I remember there's a season where I'm like, Lord, please use me and I can impact and help other people. 21:02.762 --> 21:04.305 [SPEAKER_03]: And then he would bring people into my life. 21:04.325 --> 21:05.627 [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm like, I don't have time. 21:05.947 --> 21:06.688 [SPEAKER_03]: They're annoying me. 21:06.728 --> 21:11.295 [SPEAKER_03]: There's, you know, so it's like part of me is margin, 21:11.275 --> 21:14.958 [SPEAKER_03]: mom and not freak out over everything, not be at that tipping point. 21:15.359 --> 21:23.166 [SPEAKER_03]: But it's also given me freedom to be like, yeah, like my friends going through cancer, I can just sit at the hospital with her because there was space to do that. 21:23.406 --> 21:26.809 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, some seasons it's harder than others, and I'm definitely feeling it now. 21:26.889 --> 21:29.912 [SPEAKER_03]: I've got one at college and one in high school who's gone all the time. 21:30.532 --> 21:38.259 [SPEAKER_03]: And so it is uncomfortable the time that I have now and not trying to fill it too quickly, but go like, Lord, what do you want for this season? 21:38.479 --> 21:41.282 [SPEAKER_03]: So currently I'm needle pointing and 21:41.262 --> 21:56.643 [SPEAKER_03]: It's been fun, it's been fun, it's been fun, it's relaxing, but I had white question for you that I think I'm going to switch and my original email to you, I was going to ask you what God is teaching you and you can answer that too, but I think as I think about the fact that you're 77 and you look back at your life, what would you say to us? 21:56.683 --> 22:02.431 [SPEAKER_03]: What has been the benefit or what have you seen God do through just this awareness and stewardship of your time? 22:02.671 --> 22:07.017 [SPEAKER_01]: If I could make this simple, it would be something I learned. 22:06.997 --> 22:08.079 [SPEAKER_01]: a good while back. 22:08.640 --> 22:16.432 [SPEAKER_01]: And that is to really hear him tell me what to stop and to have them your Lord, what do you want me to stop? 22:16.492 --> 22:16.792 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 22:17.854 --> 22:23.062 [SPEAKER_01]: Who do you want me to stop being with serving at this moment? 22:23.082 --> 22:28.791 [SPEAKER_01]: And when I get that cleaned up when I hear that and it doesn't mean you say goodbye forever. 22:28.811 --> 22:30.994 [SPEAKER_01]: It could be you saying not now. 22:31.034 --> 22:31.675 [SPEAKER_01]: That's right. 22:32.597 --> 22:33.578 [SPEAKER_01]: That's right. 22:33.558 --> 22:41.167 [SPEAKER_01]: But creating my to stop list, if you will, then better prepares me to hear my to-do list. 22:41.187 --> 22:48.657 [SPEAKER_01]: Other words, what I'm to-do still gets tangled up with things that should not be in my life. 22:48.677 --> 22:49.317 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, people. 22:49.478 --> 22:49.638 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 22:49.658 --> 22:52.441 [SPEAKER_01]: You should not be at this moment in time in my life. 22:52.702 --> 23:01.152 [SPEAKER_01]: And it also a teaching that I've practiced for years is really sitting occasionally and saying, 23:01.132 --> 23:03.677 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, who are the trainers? 23:03.877 --> 23:12.633 [SPEAKER_01]: Because if that's what he's asking me to stop and this is a cute friend of mine gave me and it it sounds a little rude but it's not really. 23:13.494 --> 23:22.330 [SPEAKER_01]: We hope you and our soul know when we're to give someone or some activity the gift of goodbye. 23:23.440 --> 23:33.174 [SPEAKER_01]: And by you getting that language, the gift of goodbye, it's not me saying it, selfishly, it's for their good and for my good. 23:33.535 --> 23:35.397 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's the to list. 23:35.798 --> 23:42.748 [SPEAKER_01]: And then the to do list becomes much more exciting and out of that can come people. 23:42.728 --> 23:50.989 [SPEAKER_01]: that I'm to do life with, activities that he's invited me to do, and it's a more joyous journey. 23:51.330 --> 23:52.954 [SPEAKER_01]: There's not frustration there. 23:53.395 --> 23:53.956 [SPEAKER_01]: There's peace. 23:54.237 --> 23:56.623 [SPEAKER_03]: That does not naturally come to my brain. 23:56.643 --> 23:59.691 [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm thinking in process because you're saying because you're wrong, 23:59.671 --> 24:01.674 [SPEAKER_03]: as he has a great no. 24:01.915 --> 24:04.258 [SPEAKER_03]: He's like, and he didn't even couch it nice. 24:04.319 --> 24:05.861 [SPEAKER_03]: He's like, nope, can't do it. 24:05.881 --> 24:06.783 [SPEAKER_03]: No, no more friends. 24:06.903 --> 24:08.986 [SPEAKER_03]: No, and I'm like, yes to everything. 24:09.367 --> 24:14.836 [SPEAKER_03]: So it's interesting that he has to really think about when I'm challenging him to like add something into our life. 24:14.996 --> 24:16.779 [SPEAKER_03]: And then I really struggle with that no. 24:16.799 --> 24:23.810 [SPEAKER_03]: So I'm so glad you brought it up to have the permission to even ask God because I think we can feel guilty to cut someone out or just say no to something. 24:23.830 --> 24:24.852 [SPEAKER_03]: But if God said, 24:24.832 --> 24:33.046 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, I'm asking you to, of course we want to be obedient to that one practical thing I wanted to share with people and run loves this This is like his love language. 24:33.066 --> 24:34.728 [SPEAKER_03]: We are having a calendar meeting. 24:35.109 --> 24:44.224 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, it's a calendar meeting And I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, they're not just once a year like every month, but he's got I mean he knows what he's doing like two years out He's speaking everywhere and 24:44.407 --> 24:47.852 [SPEAKER_03]: So it helps him have sanity to look at the year. 24:48.333 --> 24:52.398 [SPEAKER_03]: And then to say, hey, if we always want to serve at Lighthouse, we're putting that in first. 24:52.559 --> 24:57.726 [SPEAKER_03]: If we want to take a family vacation or putting that in first, and so it's the whole idea of the big rocks. 24:58.066 --> 25:06.418 [SPEAKER_03]: But it really has helped me not stress to go like, if I know I want to go see Ella twice at Auburn, I'm buying the football tickets and we're getting it on the calendar and blocking it. 25:06.819 --> 25:11.345 [SPEAKER_03]: And so that's, I've learned to be more like him in that way, which is really, really fun. 25:11.565 --> 25:13.468 [SPEAKER_03]: And then what are my other practical ones? 25:13.617 --> 25:17.502 [SPEAKER_03]: And just like you said, is the flexibility to go, for example, Lighthouse. 25:17.842 --> 25:20.986 [SPEAKER_03]: We love to serve with that organization, but it hasn't worked every year. 25:21.026 --> 25:26.693 [SPEAKER_03]: And so we'll do one year on and one year off, which is helped us to say like it's in our rhythm. 25:26.853 --> 25:29.676 [SPEAKER_03]: We always when our kids serving, but it's not every summer. 25:29.736 --> 25:30.878 [SPEAKER_03]: It's literally not possible. 25:31.078 --> 25:33.240 [SPEAKER_03]: So there's just a couple of practical things we do. 25:33.260 --> 25:35.363 [SPEAKER_03]: We'll invite you to our next calendar meeting, Elaine. 25:35.383 --> 25:36.825 [SPEAKER_03]: You'd love it, you'd love it. 25:37.165 --> 25:39.608 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, we have one every Sunday night. 25:39.588 --> 25:46.988 [SPEAKER_01]: What my gosh, that's a great night and every Sunday night and of course my children changed me a few years ago to put everything on my phone. 25:47.529 --> 25:55.791 [SPEAKER_01]: So we both get our phones and and we compare calendars for the week, what each ever is doing, but we'll know what each other time and 25:55.771 --> 26:10.895 [SPEAKER_01]: and plan and we look out then and with sometimes look out for the next two months if there's something significant or the next year we do have that but we for sure know from week to week has there been a change in in our commitments. 26:11.476 --> 26:17.265 [SPEAKER_01]: What are we doing and it doesn't take 20 minutes sometimes less than that. 26:17.746 --> 26:19.028 [SPEAKER_01]: But we do 26:19.008 --> 26:20.730 [SPEAKER_01]: We plan that together. 26:21.090 --> 26:21.951 [SPEAKER_01]: We share together. 26:21.971 --> 26:27.217 [SPEAKER_01]: We could, with iPhones, you can, uh, uh, yeah, merge them together. 26:28.058 --> 26:29.840 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, but Steve is so full. 26:29.920 --> 26:30.400 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not sure. 26:30.440 --> 26:31.842 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to share it. 26:32.643 --> 26:34.264 [SPEAKER_03]: Listen, that is exactly right. 26:34.325 --> 26:35.286 [SPEAKER_03]: Ron's assistant. 26:35.766 --> 26:40.311 [SPEAKER_03]: Ron's assistant put all of his stuff on my is travel on my calendar. 26:40.331 --> 26:42.153 [SPEAKER_03]: When they, it overwhelmed me so bad. 26:42.273 --> 26:46.838 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, I can't 26:46.818 --> 26:50.823 [SPEAKER_03]: But Ron is really helpful to me to notice when I freak out. 26:50.843 --> 26:57.071 [SPEAKER_03]: He's like, I know you want to leave the lake and arrive home and then go here and he's like, you do not do well with that. 26:57.131 --> 27:00.255 [SPEAKER_03]: And so he's been great to say like, I love that you're doing this. 27:00.275 --> 27:02.538 [SPEAKER_03]: What we have to have like margin in between. 27:02.578 --> 27:03.860 [SPEAKER_03]: So you get home on a Friday. 27:03.880 --> 27:05.802 [SPEAKER_03]: You have a couple days to pack. 27:05.822 --> 27:08.926 [SPEAKER_03]: Like you won't be yelling at people if you're not back to back. 27:08.946 --> 27:16.015 [SPEAKER_03]: And so 22 years in a marriage, he's noticed some themes and has helped me kind of put some boundaries around things, which is really, really helpful. 27:15.995 --> 27:24.435 [SPEAKER_01]: say that that is and it too, no each other is very helpful in any of the time planning that you do. 27:24.635 --> 27:27.058 [SPEAKER_01]: And to look at, you know, there are two words for time. 27:27.499 --> 27:31.664 [SPEAKER_01]: Kyros and Kronos, you've probably heard lecture on that. 27:32.044 --> 27:39.413 [SPEAKER_01]: But we try now at this point in life because Steve says, you know, we want to travel as much as we can, while we have the health. 27:39.714 --> 27:44.820 [SPEAKER_01]: We know people in their Aden who have all the money in the world, but they can't go anywhere. 27:45.461 --> 27:46.322 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, set. 27:46.302 --> 28:01.720 [SPEAKER_01]: we look at these together goals that we have along the way and because we want to make and be available for those moments that are significant and that have meaning and have memories. 28:01.920 --> 28:10.470 [SPEAKER_01]: We want to have all of the family come here for Thanksgiving as long as I can and he can prepare the meal, prepare the environment. 28:10.450 --> 28:25.290 [SPEAKER_01]: So, we're looking at firms towards the things to capture them while we still have the health, and we still have the finances, and we have the energy, the desire to do what we do together. 28:25.310 --> 28:34.703 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's part of the calendar ring, excuse me, together, is to make sure that we're both on the same page, so to speak. 28:34.683 --> 28:35.104 [SPEAKER_03]: Wow. 28:35.324 --> 28:37.309 [SPEAKER_03]: Only I want to be you when I grow up. 28:37.349 --> 28:39.193 [SPEAKER_03]: This is so, so helpful. 28:39.734 --> 28:41.337 [SPEAKER_03]: I want to give you the last words. 28:41.357 --> 28:49.094 [SPEAKER_03]: So as you look at your notes or think whatever God's put on your heart, is there anything that you're like, I wish I would have said that or given that encouragement. 28:49.134 --> 28:51.038 [SPEAKER_03]: However, you want to end it, it would be great. 28:51.018 --> 28:58.450 [SPEAKER_01]: Looking at my life now, of course you've seen in my exercise clothes this morning, I think it's from a mom's perspective. 28:59.011 --> 29:02.357 [SPEAKER_01]: We have differing amounts of energy as mothers. 29:02.597 --> 29:12.874 [SPEAKER_01]: And like you said early on, to compare ourselves to others is not helpful, whether it's how much energy we have, how much money we have, how much anything that we have. 29:12.854 --> 29:19.425 [SPEAKER_01]: we have opportunity to use, but I think one of the important things is to know ourselves. 29:19.785 --> 29:22.230 [SPEAKER_01]: I like, for example, I know my energy cycle. 29:22.390 --> 29:30.964 [SPEAKER_01]: I know when my high energy is and when I dip and what I have to do to make it till 10 o'clock at night when, yeah, cool down. 29:31.204 --> 29:39.418 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, that's one thing I would encourage 29:39.398 --> 30:08.730 [SPEAKER_01]: at your high energy time of the day and then at your low energy time of the day plan that accordingly too the things that are maybe a little bit easier a little bit more fun that don't require quite the energy that maybe the focus you need to have or really pouring into your children but make sure make sure that with your husband and your children that you do 30:09.166 --> 30:10.008 [SPEAKER_03]: so helpful. 30:10.348 --> 30:11.411 [SPEAKER_03]: You should be a coach. 30:11.651 --> 30:13.355 [SPEAKER_03]: You should be a coach when you grow up. 30:13.375 --> 30:14.016 [SPEAKER_03]: Great idea. 30:14.056 --> 30:14.597 [SPEAKER_03]: Great idea. 30:14.697 --> 30:16.641 [SPEAKER_03]: Hey, thank you so so much. 30:16.661 --> 30:23.996 [SPEAKER_03]: People are going to love this because we talk on this podcast about every topic, but most moms are like, tell me what to do. 30:24.077 --> 30:25.740 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I need practical steps. 30:26.041 --> 30:28.809 [SPEAKER_03]: I need the, you know, just the encouragement that got it. 30:28.829 --> 30:29.831 [SPEAKER_03]: So this was perfect. 30:29.892 --> 30:30.934 [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you so much. 30:31.175 --> 30:34.584 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, you're so kind and I can't tell you what a treasure. 30:34.625 --> 30:37.492 [SPEAKER_01]: It is to get to see you face to face, Courtney. 30:37.573 --> 30:38.455 [SPEAKER_00]: That's true. 30:38.475 --> 30:39.097 [SPEAKER_00]: That's right. 30:39.819 --> 30:40.641 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, take care, Lynn. 30:41.583 --> 30:43.447 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for being here, you guys. 30:43.567 --> 30:48.236 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope that you loved this little shake up, listening to Courtney and Elaine on part in the mess. 30:48.676 --> 30:51.963 [SPEAKER_00]: Go over and subscribe now to part in the mess so you don't miss an episode. 30:52.003 --> 30:58.495 [SPEAKER_00]: Courtney has interviews on Thursday and then a prayer episode, a little mini less than 10 minutes episode on Monday. 30:58.475 --> 31:02.023 [SPEAKER_00]: that is a prayer episode that follows the Christian parenting prayer journal. 31:02.103 --> 31:05.731 [SPEAKER_00]: It is one of the highlights of my week and I think that you'll really love that too. 31:05.751 --> 31:11.503 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to put a link to that in the show note so that you can find the prayer journal and part in the mess. 31:11.563 --> 31:15.572 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll also link everything so you can find the lane and Courtney as well. 31:15.552 --> 31:24.970 [SPEAKER_00]: I know that time management can feel like one more thing to figure out and I hope that this conversation reminded you that you're not failing, you're learning and God is not asking you to squeeze more into your day. 31:25.050 --> 31:29.899 [SPEAKER_00]: He's just inviting you to walk with him and wisdom and peace and purpose. 31:30.048 --> 31:35.073 [SPEAKER_00]: So if this episode encourages you, will you just share it with a friend who's also maybe feeling overwhelmed right now? 31:35.133 --> 31:36.374 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it would be really helpful. 31:37.135 --> 31:38.596 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again for being here. 31:38.797 --> 31:42.120 [SPEAKER_00]: May the Lord give you clarity for what matters most in the season. 31:42.660 --> 31:47.645 [SPEAKER_00]: May he help you release what's not yours to carry and give you the courage to say no when you need to. 31:48.386 --> 31:55.633 [SPEAKER_00]: May your home be filled with peace and not pressure, and may you have margin to love your people well and stay still to hear God's voice.