WEBVTT 00:03.139 --> 00:07.812 [SPEAKER_00]: This show is brought to you by TheMakery, the podcast network for Makers. 00:17.273 --> 00:18.353 [SPEAKER_00]: What's going on? 00:18.533 --> 00:19.814 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to full-bass podcast. 00:19.874 --> 00:21.434 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Jeff Fader before we get into it. 00:21.454 --> 00:35.198 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's take care of the business I got exciting news from our friends at Broadbeckon and works, you know, Broadbeckon works They make the two by 72 grinders everybody loves including me Broadbeckon works is on their next chapter. 00:35.378 --> 00:39.220 [SPEAKER_00]: They sent me a message in regards to what's going on up. 00:39.240 --> 00:39.580 [SPEAKER_00]: They got news 00:40.980 --> 00:42.901 [SPEAKER_00]: We got news from our friends at Broadbeck. 00:43.001 --> 00:43.562 [SPEAKER_00]: C.H. 00:43.622 --> 00:46.283 [SPEAKER_00]: Hansen has acquired the assets at Broadbeck. 00:46.343 --> 00:49.445 [SPEAKER_00]: Ironworks now you may be wondering what that means for Ryan and those grinders. 00:49.465 --> 00:50.865 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, Ryan isn't going anywhere. 00:51.426 --> 00:52.646 [SPEAKER_00]: He's joining C.H. 00:52.666 --> 01:00.491 [SPEAKER_00]: Hansen as a senior engineer, continuing to lead grinder and metalwork equipment they continue to support knife makers. 01:01.251 --> 01:13.181 [SPEAKER_00]: same modular platform, same commitment to American manufacturing, same guy you've known all along still solving problems in the shop and developing tools that help make you do what they do best. 01:13.461 --> 01:14.162 [SPEAKER_00]: What's the difference? 01:14.262 --> 01:24.330 [SPEAKER_00]: Now we have 160 years of American manufacturing behind them, more resources, more engineering support, more opportunities to keep the pushing, so keep pushing the craft forward. 01:24.790 --> 01:25.430 [SPEAKER_00]: Sounds good to me. 01:25.891 --> 01:47.585 [SPEAKER_00]: Sounds good to me, and once again, love Ryan, Saw Ryan, the Maker Campus Fabulous, and when you go to Broadback Ironworks, but Brian Broadback Ironworks.com, but you can put in the promo code, and they've talked 10 to get 10% off the grinders, attachments, parts, everything, nothing to change except for their more opportunities for our man Brian and Brian and Broadback and congratulations, and 01:48.165 --> 02:06.310 [SPEAKER_00]: See a chance and is a great opportunity for you guys to grow and it's some we're fired up for you So definitely you still use the promo code and I've talked 10 get that 10% off Next to my friends at even heat manufacturers the finest heat treatment available find your next 7 go to evenheet-kill.com get that tap control solace. 02:06.330 --> 02:06.891 [SPEAKER_00]: They drive. 02:07.031 --> 02:15.113 [SPEAKER_00]: I just I mean I could I'd be sunk without my broad without my Even heat and you will too so stop land and get yourself an even heat blah blah blah 02:15.653 --> 02:24.216 [SPEAKER_00]: Next to my friends at Maritime Knife Supply, Maritime Knife Supply.com for all your knife-making needs, belts, and braces, stills, kills, for just press heat-trudy ovens, and all that stuff. 02:24.996 --> 02:32.999 [SPEAKER_00]: Many thanks to my men, Lawrence, who is such a supporter of the podcasts, both podcasts, and he's been this knife-talk. 02:33.019 --> 02:39.361 [SPEAKER_00]: He's been unbelievably great, and I'm a huge, huge, I'm very grateful to Lawrence and everything he does. 02:39.881 --> 02:44.704 [SPEAKER_00]: So when you get yourself a pack of abrasive belts, you get 10% off on a pack of 10. 02:45.304 --> 02:53.889 [SPEAKER_00]: So many many thanks go support him, he's a really fabulous and he's a facilitator to the knife-eating community, he's a knife-maker juicer, he knows what you need. 02:53.929 --> 02:56.911 [SPEAKER_00]: MaritimeMaseWide.com. 02:56.971 --> 03:01.313 [SPEAKER_00]: BakerForge.com for all your copper, my bronze, my sand, my all that stuff. 03:01.793 --> 03:05.735 [SPEAKER_00]: They make beautiful stuff and there's some new stuff coming up with them and I'm looking 03:09.057 --> 03:11.079 [SPEAKER_00]: I highly suggest using their material. 03:11.139 --> 03:12.059 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really easy to use. 03:12.079 --> 03:12.860 [SPEAKER_00]: It comes to your shop. 03:13.700 --> 03:15.341 [SPEAKER_00]: A kneeled. 03:15.541 --> 03:16.042 [SPEAKER_00]: Ready to go. 03:16.382 --> 03:18.243 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're a soccer movie guy, this stuff's really easy. 03:18.263 --> 03:19.324 [SPEAKER_00]: They hold your hand the whole way. 03:19.364 --> 03:21.565 [SPEAKER_00]: They teach you how to grind it. 03:21.585 --> 03:22.586 [SPEAKER_00]: They teach you what you're looking for. 03:22.606 --> 03:23.286 [SPEAKER_00]: They teach you how to. 03:23.567 --> 03:24.887 [SPEAKER_00]: They'll tell you how to heat treat it. 03:24.947 --> 03:25.988 [SPEAKER_00]: Every core is a little different. 03:26.008 --> 03:27.749 [SPEAKER_00]: They'll teach you exactly. 03:27.989 --> 03:30.331 [SPEAKER_00]: They're not selling you the steel and then walking away. 03:30.731 --> 03:40.576 [SPEAKER_00]: They're holding your hand the whole way, and then when it comes to catching, use a gator piss, you know what I'm saying, and then they have different gator piss etchens based on what you're doing. 03:40.656 --> 03:50.941 [SPEAKER_00]: So they have, they've figured out that you need a different gator piss for the stainless Damascus that you're working with or the stainless sand mileage you're working with, and they have dust. 03:50.961 --> 03:51.701 [SPEAKER_00]: That's, that's, 03:52.141 --> 03:57.403 [SPEAKER_00]: the Gator Piss Max, they have the Gator Piss OG, which some people for everything, Gator Piss Heavy for that deep dark dark. 03:57.683 --> 03:58.264 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying? 03:58.624 --> 04:04.226 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you go to bakerforge.com, put in the promo code full blast, you're getting a 10% off everything. 04:04.286 --> 04:14.351 [SPEAKER_00]: You can also get the Gator Piss at Texas Ferris Supply, our friends at Texas Ferris Apply, you got out whatever you need, if you're a blade smith, you're a black smith, you're a ferrier, however you identify. 04:15.431 --> 04:19.713 [SPEAKER_00]: Go to Texas Ferris Supply.com, put in the promo code and I've talked 10 and get 10% off everything. 04:20.113 --> 04:21.734 [SPEAKER_00]: That's where I get my rider went. 04:22.315 --> 04:25.597 [SPEAKER_00]: Many thanks to Evan and the guys and many thanks to Coin the guys. 04:25.637 --> 04:27.038 [SPEAKER_00]: So we're all in with them. 04:27.098 --> 04:28.779 [SPEAKER_00]: We're also all in with TotalBoat. 04:28.799 --> 04:36.325 [SPEAKER_00]: TotalBoat.com slash full blast is your direct link to get yourself some savings and get yourself some awesome awesome material. 04:36.705 --> 04:38.586 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been using your two Bartopoxy for years. 04:38.706 --> 04:40.167 [SPEAKER_00]: I love it for handle scales. 04:40.307 --> 04:43.650 [SPEAKER_00]: I use their CA glue, their medium CA glue is my favorite of all time. 04:44.851 --> 04:55.421 [SPEAKER_00]: I love their Fatem Thickset, our man, J. Mod, knives are using the Fatem Thickset to make his handles with these stuffed in them, stuffed in them dead, dead scorpions. 04:55.721 --> 05:06.151 [SPEAKER_00]: Thoughts autobot ladies and germs, so go to Totobot.com slash full blast and if it's good and ever keep decent Derek from Walden, Keith Johnson, Keith Mitchell, and that scoundrel Jimmy Dress is good enough for you. 05:08.292 --> 05:12.636 [SPEAKER_00]: It's good enough for me, it's good enough for me, it might be good enough for you, right? 05:12.756 --> 05:17.641 [SPEAKER_00]: Especially knife makers, knife makers, start using that GL, do that total boat. 05:17.761 --> 05:19.643 [SPEAKER_00]: GL Hansen-Sons, a G.L. 05:19.663 --> 05:27.610 [SPEAKER_00]: that underscore Hansen-Sons, he's the maker of G. Karta, which is a unique composite natural fibers in the fabrics mixed with epoxy under pressure and heat. 05:28.010 --> 05:40.320 [SPEAKER_00]: Both for Ripple Cut Tuxini, all the trout and salmon colors he's made is unbelievable and you can go to Gcarda Big Cartel.com to see what the fuss about He's got amazing colors and razzle dazzle for your project. 05:40.340 --> 05:42.822 [SPEAKER_00]: They're easy to work with easy to finish I'm a huge fan. 05:42.862 --> 05:49.728 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been getting a lot of requests about to make three more knives with the Gcarda I just sent two knives with Gcarda out and 05:50.328 --> 05:51.329 [SPEAKER_00]: Everyone just loves it. 05:51.429 --> 05:52.870 [SPEAKER_00]: So definitely get yourself some of that. 05:52.910 --> 06:14.365 [SPEAKER_00]: You card it and all these all the information is Wherever you're listening to this in the show notes or all the links all the direct links all the details in regards to this You don't have to like get a pencil And listen, I appreciate you guys supporting my sponsors because they support me number Final one is this number seven number seven number eight. 06:14.626 --> 06:16.047 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what it is tour Mac 06:16.787 --> 06:18.328 [SPEAKER_00]: My man Carl's making it happen. 06:18.829 --> 06:24.473 [SPEAKER_00]: Carl is unbelievable and Tormick is amazing celebrating 50 plus years of being business. 06:25.194 --> 06:30.798 [SPEAKER_00]: I get a lot of questions about the Tormick and I am a huge huge proponent and accept no substitutes. 06:31.379 --> 06:36.463 [SPEAKER_00]: There are these knockoff Tormicks that are just not as good. 06:36.743 --> 06:40.146 [SPEAKER_00]: and not only are they're not as good, they don't give you the support that you need. 06:40.526 --> 06:52.757 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you have any questions, if you have any parts, you need service, or if you need some help or customer service, all these knockoffs aren't going to give you what Tormex going to give you Tormex going to give you 50 plus years of being in business. 06:52.777 --> 06:54.038 [SPEAKER_00]: They've been doing it for a long time. 06:54.738 --> 06:56.260 [SPEAKER_00]: And the product is really great. 06:56.440 --> 06:58.982 [SPEAKER_00]: I love my Tormex. 06:59.002 --> 07:00.784 [SPEAKER_00]: I love my Tormex. 07:00.804 --> 07:04.147 [SPEAKER_00]: So go to Tormex underscore sharpening suit the fuss about send a message in Tormex. 07:04.167 --> 07:04.927 [SPEAKER_00]: Send a message in to me. 07:05.448 --> 07:07.529 [SPEAKER_00]: Go to full blast podcast and Instagram and send me a message. 07:07.589 --> 07:13.855 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, oh, oh, if I don't, I've had a lot of people when they send me messages and regards to products or stuff like that. 07:13.995 --> 07:17.098 [SPEAKER_00]: I will also help facilitate getting you to the person you need to speak to. 07:17.638 --> 07:22.360 [SPEAKER_00]: So definitely get me involved with a tour Mac and don't be playing with them. 07:22.840 --> 07:25.221 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't be playing with them bullshit tour Mac knockoffs. 07:26.441 --> 07:27.682 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not for you. 07:27.702 --> 07:28.762 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not for you. 07:28.842 --> 07:29.923 [SPEAKER_00]: It's for the Hammond Eggers. 07:30.063 --> 07:32.024 [SPEAKER_00]: It's one of the Hammond Eggers. 07:32.124 --> 07:35.445 [SPEAKER_00]: Next to my friends at Nordic Edge, it's in Australia. 07:35.665 --> 07:37.125 [SPEAKER_00]: NordicEdge.com.au. 07:37.706 --> 07:42.948 [SPEAKER_00]: They not only do they sell knife-smeaking supplies for knife-makers in Australia, 07:44.108 --> 07:46.211 [SPEAKER_00]: They're like their file guide is the best. 07:46.431 --> 07:46.911 [SPEAKER_00]: They're best. 07:47.172 --> 07:49.915 [SPEAKER_00]: They have the screw on file guide, which is legitimately the best. 07:49.935 --> 07:53.939 [SPEAKER_00]: I have four of them now and I'm like they are bomb proof. 07:54.099 --> 07:56.562 [SPEAKER_00]: They are the best and they also teach classes. 07:56.582 --> 08:00.526 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're not Australian and you're thinking yourself maybe I want to do this maybe I don't want to take a class. 08:01.147 --> 08:05.411 [SPEAKER_00]: Blacksmithing blades,smithing knife making, soothing carving, leatherworking, well, that stuff. 08:05.651 --> 08:10.775 [SPEAKER_00]: And come spend a day with them and go home with a new skill, something that you've made with your own hands. 08:11.095 --> 08:16.219 [SPEAKER_00]: They have the guidance to help accelerate your creativity and the tools product supplies to help manifest your ideas. 08:16.259 --> 08:20.102 [SPEAKER_00]: Baby, I made that up, the baby part. 08:20.263 --> 08:21.484 [SPEAKER_00]: I also made that last line up. 08:21.704 --> 08:23.966 [SPEAKER_00]: I wrote that, I wrote that, I wrote that. 08:23.986 --> 08:27.588 [SPEAKER_00]: They have the guidance to help accelerate your creativity and the tools products and supplies to help 08:29.831 --> 08:37.717 [SPEAKER_00]: Guys, Bachelor's of Arts, Kenyan College, heavy duty, writing school, I learned this thing or two. 08:38.458 --> 08:44.643 [SPEAKER_00]: So many thanks to my friends in NordicGage, NordicGage.com, Nordic Edge, Nordic underscore edge in Instagram. 08:45.043 --> 08:48.566 [SPEAKER_00]: And last but not least, I wanna thank my friends, the Phoenixabrasos, Phoenixbraces.com. 08:49.027 --> 08:55.612 [SPEAKER_00]: They're the suppliers of Superior Bracer Products for every application, life-making, mental fabrication, glass fabrication, forest, and any great chef. 08:56.072 --> 08:57.273 [SPEAKER_00]: Belts, grinding, cutting discs, 08:59.655 --> 09:06.378 [SPEAKER_00]: go to phoenixbraces.com, put in the promo code FB10 to check out and you get 10% off your order. 09:06.558 --> 09:10.380 [SPEAKER_00]: So many thanks to them, many thanks to my sponsors, many thanks to you the listener. 09:11.501 --> 09:12.601 [SPEAKER_00]: And here we are. 09:12.762 --> 09:14.442 [SPEAKER_00]: It has been a fun crazy week. 09:14.803 --> 09:16.123 [SPEAKER_00]: It's been a crazy week for everybody. 09:16.603 --> 09:17.404 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's just face it. 09:17.624 --> 09:21.546 [SPEAKER_00]: This has been a long, long, long, long, long, long, long week. 09:22.406 --> 09:24.948 [SPEAKER_00]: And the last time we spoke, I was with um, 09:26.328 --> 09:28.169 [SPEAKER_00]: I was with my buddy Lea Arapatch. 09:28.189 --> 09:31.571 [SPEAKER_00]: I got a lot of nice messages about the Lea Arapatch episode. 09:31.591 --> 09:35.633 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really sorry about the technical issues. 09:36.493 --> 09:43.656 [SPEAKER_00]: One of the things that, you know, there's so many little things that can go wrong with audio and stuff like that in the way this is popped. 09:43.856 --> 09:51.400 [SPEAKER_00]: In my dream is when the audio is good enough that it sounds like there's two people talking and sometimes there's a 09:51.640 --> 10:09.170 [SPEAKER_00]: internet lag sometimes that you need to be used computers sometimes you have echoing problems that I have I've had to get to the point where I need to chill because I used to be so crazy that every episode that it was like it wasn't affecting me, but it was really like bugging me out. 10:09.550 --> 10:17.957 [SPEAKER_00]: And funny enough, I was listening to radio station NPR, something like that, and they had terrible technical issues. 10:17.977 --> 10:20.760 [SPEAKER_00]: They had all these people on, and then they're like, are you there? 10:20.920 --> 10:26.385 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't hear you, and it was all very, I felt like, I felt like, at least it's not me. 10:26.865 --> 10:30.566 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just like all these motherfuckers are having technical issues too. 10:30.606 --> 10:37.728 [SPEAKER_00]: So what we've been doing lately in the Le Air, a potchepa soda, I had her call in and I held my phone. 10:38.389 --> 10:39.749 [SPEAKER_00]: I had her call, my phone. 10:40.249 --> 10:44.711 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I put the phone on speaker phone and I tried to put the phone as close to the microphone. 10:44.731 --> 10:48.552 [SPEAKER_00]: So we would be at the same level and I listened back to it. 10:50.073 --> 11:07.829 [SPEAKER_00]: it was fine but it was like for me it was tough to listen to so once again I apologize and we got we got big things working out and hoping and things go well but it was it was a after I recorded the Halloween episode it was a long long week starting with the fact that 11:09.260 --> 11:13.103 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm very grateful to Allison, who works for us at Fader Nives. 11:13.603 --> 11:20.529 [SPEAKER_00]: We decided we were going to do a holiday sale, and a couple of months ago we were just like, we should do the holiday sale at Fader Nives. 11:21.109 --> 11:23.671 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't do it when everybody else says it black Friday. 11:24.512 --> 11:26.353 [SPEAKER_00]: because everyone's too overwhelmed. 11:26.793 --> 11:28.054 [SPEAKER_00]: They're too overwhelmed. 11:28.594 --> 11:31.216 [SPEAKER_00]: They're in boxes of getting spanned. 11:31.236 --> 11:35.798 [SPEAKER_00]: We used to do a newsletter every week, and it was like becoming too much. 11:35.818 --> 11:37.299 [SPEAKER_00]: And I felt like it was overwhelming people. 11:37.339 --> 11:43.703 [SPEAKER_00]: And then we had a month of Black Friday last year, and it was madness, because we had a ton of inventory. 11:44.403 --> 11:46.344 [SPEAKER_00]: So this year, Allison said, I have a great idea. 11:46.364 --> 11:51.367 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's do the 25% discount sale, the weekend of Halloween. 11:52.407 --> 11:54.007 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was just like sounds great. 11:54.148 --> 11:55.068 [SPEAKER_00]: It got damaged. 11:55.148 --> 11:59.709 [SPEAKER_00]: It was such a good move because it was before the election, the midterms. 12:00.669 --> 12:10.991 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was also like everyone was needed a little bit of the work up to the election when I think people were a little bit sick of it all in the nervous and everybody was a little crazy. 12:11.752 --> 12:14.352 [SPEAKER_00]: And for some reason we just got slammed. 12:14.452 --> 12:15.312 [SPEAKER_00]: We got slammed. 12:15.332 --> 12:17.373 [SPEAKER_00]: So for starting Friday and we just got 12:18.173 --> 12:20.654 [SPEAKER_00]: It was unbelievably great, and P.S. 12:20.735 --> 12:24.957 [SPEAKER_00]: if you're listening to this and you're part of that sale, I really appreciate it. 12:25.017 --> 12:25.857 [SPEAKER_00]: You have no idea. 12:26.458 --> 12:32.601 [SPEAKER_00]: But it was really like, you know, nervous making because we try to get some stuff in stock and stuff like that and we had to erase the clock and stuff like that. 12:34.041 --> 12:40.063 [SPEAKER_00]: And I knew, you know, Friday comes along and I knew, you know, things were crazy and you know, I'm gonna have to work this weekend. 12:40.083 --> 12:42.424 [SPEAKER_00]: There's just no, you know, otherwise I'm gonna be screwed. 12:42.804 --> 12:48.406 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I had all these knives they had to make, get sharp and I know that the post office ships things out. 12:48.466 --> 12:54.708 [SPEAKER_00]: I can send stuff out on Saturday, on Halloween day, maybe I should prepare stuff on Sunday. 12:55.428 --> 12:58.149 [SPEAKER_00]: So it was like, it was totally, it was great. 12:58.249 --> 13:02.490 [SPEAKER_00]: It was really great, but at the same time it was very aware that I need to be on my toes. 13:03.090 --> 13:04.492 [SPEAKER_00]: So we went to this Halloween party. 13:04.572 --> 13:07.737 [SPEAKER_00]: We go up and going to you for 20 years, like 20 years. 13:07.757 --> 13:09.740 [SPEAKER_00]: We've been going to this maybe a little less in 20 years. 13:09.760 --> 13:12.764 [SPEAKER_00]: Probably like, probably 15, 16 years. 13:12.784 --> 13:17.491 [SPEAKER_00]: We've been going to this Halloween party and all of our friends, all of the same age or all of these altar cochars. 13:18.452 --> 13:22.253 [SPEAKER_00]: And old, old folks, skisers, and we all, everyone does a such a great job. 13:22.273 --> 13:24.874 [SPEAKER_00]: We had everyone every year that get really into it. 13:24.914 --> 13:32.156 [SPEAKER_00]: And the funny thing was it was almost like there was the our friend Sonnyu as the party and then her daughter invited all of these young people. 13:32.176 --> 13:35.217 [SPEAKER_00]: So there were a bunch of young people and then a bunch of gisers. 13:35.337 --> 13:37.297 [SPEAKER_00]: And we all come, you know, we all come correct. 13:37.317 --> 13:39.498 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, all the gisers really like go out all in. 13:40.258 --> 13:46.041 [SPEAKER_00]: And there are years where it's always amazing and the costumes are incredible and, you know, it was really great. 13:46.061 --> 13:49.543 [SPEAKER_00]: It was funny too because I grew a mustache. 13:49.883 --> 13:50.564 [SPEAKER_00]: I grew a mustache. 13:50.584 --> 13:53.646 [SPEAKER_00]: You really didn't have a lot of time and energy to make. 13:53.686 --> 14:00.429 [SPEAKER_00]: There's some years where I've made a costume for my wife and it took days. 14:00.549 --> 14:02.811 [SPEAKER_00]: It was exhausting and I was like, I can't do that. 14:03.631 --> 14:11.495 [SPEAKER_00]: So I decided to grow a mustache and I was a Tom Selig and my hair is getting longer and I'm just like kind of just don't really get there kind of won't be bothered anymore. 14:12.276 --> 14:15.037 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like I'll be a magnum PI. 14:15.137 --> 14:16.418 [SPEAKER_00]: So one is a magnum PI. 14:16.438 --> 14:17.139 [SPEAKER_00]: I got a shirt. 14:17.179 --> 14:17.819 [SPEAKER_00]: I got the pants. 14:17.839 --> 14:19.220 [SPEAKER_00]: I got the Detroit Tigers hat. 14:19.240 --> 14:21.741 [SPEAKER_00]: All of a sudden everyone thinks I'm Detroit Tigers fan. 14:22.181 --> 14:25.023 [SPEAKER_00]: You young people don't know about Tom Selig and magnum PI. 14:25.283 --> 14:27.124 [SPEAKER_00]: Magnum PI was Tom Selig. 14:27.144 --> 14:28.765 [SPEAKER_00]: He was a private investigator of whiting. 14:28.785 --> 14:30.026 [SPEAKER_00]: He wore Detroit Tigers hat. 14:30.046 --> 14:30.726 [SPEAKER_00]: It was pretty cool. 14:30.766 --> 14:31.747 [SPEAKER_00]: So I had no choice. 14:32.815 --> 14:36.220 [SPEAKER_00]: So I had the mustache on and we were having a good time of the party. 14:36.481 --> 14:38.003 [SPEAKER_00]: Meanwhile, this is Saturday. 14:38.023 --> 14:40.307 [SPEAKER_00]: It was in the shop all day, sharpening and shipping knives. 14:41.773 --> 15:02.372 [SPEAKER_00]: go to the party and I said to my wife before I am going to look at, I am going to have to go to the work on Sunday, I am not going to drink anything, I am just going to, I have got to the point now where alcohol and me have this relationship where I like a beer or I like a drink, but I also know I like feeling better the next day more important, I become like this cold. 15:03.433 --> 15:14.767 [SPEAKER_00]: teaser who just was like it the way I wake up in the morning is like so incredibly important and having any vestiges of a headache is just I can't do it. 15:15.187 --> 15:22.976 [SPEAKER_00]: So it sent me away from like yeah you want to have a couple pops go ahead I'll be the designated drivers find by me on a mine I'm going to have to wake up in early and get to the shop anyway so 15:23.777 --> 15:29.338 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I was hanging out with, and now we've gotten older and we have a lot more friends who are really sober. 15:29.839 --> 15:44.602 [SPEAKER_00]: And now I'm not someone who, I don't have a really like dog in the fight in regards to Subride, I kind of wanted to talk a little bit about my family history and like my, you know, my relationship with alcohol, But I don't really have never had a problem. 15:44.642 --> 15:51.864 [SPEAKER_00]: I've never had an issue where it affects my life or affects the life of others or I've never really been, 15:54.104 --> 16:00.669 [SPEAKER_00]: There's definitely been a conscious chill out with alcohol in me, but it's not a big deal. 16:00.689 --> 16:13.557 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm fortunate and I know that a lot of people aren't and I support, you know, I really have friends who are in recovery and have friends who are really working with their own sobriety and I actually like talking with them I've always have. 16:14.378 --> 16:17.300 [SPEAKER_00]: I was tangling out with a couple of friends of mine who are in recovery. 16:17.600 --> 16:18.000 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 16:18.020 --> 16:20.882 [SPEAKER_00]: You call it a recovery and you're calling just like sober, whatever. 16:21.582 --> 16:39.632 [SPEAKER_00]: And we have nice conversations, but it's funny because like when you take alcohol out of it and especially at our age in our 50s, all of a sudden the conversation is no longer like, we're all standing around, I'm wearing top cellic and the guys, you know, looking like wearing, you know, like a Jedi costume, you know, like guys, we're like, you know, vampire costume, we're all talking about like, 16:40.272 --> 16:53.102 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, sober things which is hilarious at the same time where we're talking about real-life stuff and Well, until you know one year I was with I was Gene Simmons from kiss and we're not having this real like sober conversation with someone And they're just like I can't you can't talk to you. 16:53.122 --> 17:01.669 [SPEAKER_00]: We should dress up like Gene Simmons from kiss pretty crazy So it was cool because you know, I wanted to get to bed on the earlier side and want to stay up on that. 17:01.749 --> 17:03.910 [SPEAKER_00]: I ate but at the same time I wanted to have a good time and I did 17:05.291 --> 17:17.060 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember this one friend of mine said to me he's like you never drink with me and I'm like that I'm not gonna I gotta get up early tomorrow and he goes he goes pussy and it was like it wasn't I didn't feel like I think it was like 17:17.957 --> 17:19.817 [SPEAKER_00]: Really, dude, we're in our fifties. 17:19.837 --> 17:21.558 [SPEAKER_00]: You can call me a pussy in our fifties. 17:21.898 --> 17:23.778 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is a friend of mine, and he's my guide. 17:23.798 --> 17:30.300 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was funny because, like, I could tell that he really wanted to kind of get bent with me. 17:30.580 --> 17:34.321 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just, I just wasn't, I made a decision. 17:34.341 --> 17:38.482 [SPEAKER_00]: I knew, I knew it wasn't gonna be a thing, but it was funny that he could send to that to me. 17:38.502 --> 17:42.203 [SPEAKER_00]: And I said to him, I was like, no, my friend just called me a pussy because I'm not having a beer of them. 17:42.663 --> 17:44.803 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I was like, are you out of your fucking mind? 17:44.823 --> 17:45.423 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you crazy? 17:49.426 --> 17:55.212 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you get to the point where, and I turn to him, and he's in New York, I tell you, I'm like, bro, that shit doesn't look like a skit. 17:55.512 --> 17:56.413 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you crazy? 17:56.674 --> 18:03.501 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you think that that peer pressure works on me now, 52, about to be 53, do you think that shit works on me now? 18:03.521 --> 18:04.262 [SPEAKER_00]: You crazy? 18:04.282 --> 18:07.085 [SPEAKER_00]: I bet that the Jedi Magic don't work on me dog. 18:07.966 --> 18:14.930 [SPEAKER_00]: and it was funny and it wasn't a big deal and he wasn't trying to be the asshole he was just like, you know, he just wouldn't have a drink with me and I was just like, I appreciate it. 18:15.110 --> 18:30.820 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a seltzer water with me and he was like, I have a seltzer water with you and I just got to get to work in the morning and it made me really think about everything but at the same time you know, the timing of everything was crazy like, 18:31.939 --> 18:49.913 [SPEAKER_00]: I, it took me a long time, I mean, we did the, we did the sale, I ended up coming, you know, woke up in the morning, it got to the shop, and then I started to sharpen and pack now, I have so I could put the labels on them for Monday, and I really, I felt like if I get all this done done, Sunday, then it'll give me a little bit more of a break. 18:50.413 --> 19:07.425 [SPEAKER_00]: or I'll get me closer on Monday and it was really like trying to figure out the timing of everything like that and how to, you know, what's the best way for me to, you know, succeed and also feel good about myself, like sometimes it's like, you know, you get yourself down the rabbit hole of feeling lousy about yourself and it's like, I don't want to do that. 19:08.363 --> 19:10.944 [SPEAKER_00]: So the crazy part is, they come back to work on it. 19:11.144 --> 19:13.566 [SPEAKER_00]: So the weekend was crazy, we had a ton of business. 19:13.586 --> 19:24.171 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like, it was pretty monumental, kind of going over everything with Allison, Tony, and it was really like, just kind of went over the data from the year to last year. 19:24.231 --> 19:25.792 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was just really, really amazing. 19:27.412 --> 19:29.153 [SPEAKER_00]: And P.S. 19:29.173 --> 19:32.956 [SPEAKER_00]: shout out to my man, Bob Morano, every day's fee seven, I have to get him back on here. 19:33.396 --> 19:35.557 [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, I mean, he has transformed our company. 19:35.677 --> 19:38.459 [SPEAKER_00]: The collaboration I have we've done with him has been amazing. 19:38.499 --> 19:40.960 [SPEAKER_00]: And Bob is unbelievably great. 19:41.060 --> 19:48.464 [SPEAKER_00]: And 10% of the product, 10% of the Bob Morano custom collaboration goes to charity. 19:48.504 --> 19:49.405 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's all. 19:49.465 --> 19:50.666 [SPEAKER_00]: It's all good. 19:50.706 --> 19:51.566 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it couldn't be better. 19:52.186 --> 19:54.508 [SPEAKER_00]: So we were having this conversation in terms of 19:56.147 --> 20:01.608 [SPEAKER_00]: in terms of everything and we're just going to go into everything like that and that was Monday and the Tuesday was the election. 20:01.668 --> 20:02.308 [SPEAKER_00]: I got a message. 20:02.849 --> 20:17.152 [SPEAKER_00]: I asked on full-blast podcast Instagram if anyone has any questions or wants to steer the ship in terms of conversation, set it my way and maybe in my mind the question is always like food for knife talk or for full-blast. 20:18.212 --> 20:20.213 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not meant to be like a yes or no answer. 20:20.253 --> 20:22.073 [SPEAKER_00]: It's meant to like drive the conversation. 20:22.113 --> 20:29.695 [SPEAKER_00]: So what I'm doing knife talk or doing this and we have a conversation, we have a question sent and I'm kind of hoping that the question steers the ship. 20:30.035 --> 20:35.636 [SPEAKER_00]: So if we don't get to every question, but we had a good conversation then, you know, it's been a success. 20:35.856 --> 20:40.037 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it supposed to say yes, no, and then go on the next question and just kind of run through them. 20:40.658 --> 20:41.778 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't really interest anybody. 20:42.518 --> 20:44.720 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I got a message about the midterms. 20:44.900 --> 20:46.761 [SPEAKER_00]: I got a message, like, what did you think about the midterms? 20:47.181 --> 20:55.767 [SPEAKER_00]: And the funny thing is, is the first thing I thought of was when the midterms happened, and I'm not going to trust me, just relax, just tighten your shrink-ter. 20:56.208 --> 20:58.689 [SPEAKER_00]: Or do you tighten your relax your shrink-ter? 20:58.930 --> 21:00.691 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to go into politics, and I'll tell you why. 21:01.131 --> 21:09.357 [SPEAKER_00]: But all I could think of is, God damn, we dodged a huge bullet, the timing of our sale, going before the midterms was huge. 21:09.877 --> 21:10.858 [SPEAKER_00]: was huge. 21:11.218 --> 21:15.262 [SPEAKER_00]: And because if it was now, I don't think we would have been successful. 21:15.282 --> 21:27.774 [SPEAKER_00]: I think everybody would have been like so blown, you know, like exhausted by the internet, exhausted by social media, exhausted by their emails, that I think that it would have been like a little bit more of a downer, and I'll tell you why. 21:28.154 --> 21:31.117 [SPEAKER_00]: Reminds me of, there was a time where, 21:32.418 --> 21:48.263 [SPEAKER_00]: There was a time in between when I stopped working for Charlie Palmer and I had this short stint where I was helping a friend of mine with his bakery and he had a bakery down in Manhattan and I was like I'd been through restaurant the restaurant cooking school. 21:48.343 --> 21:59.027 [SPEAKER_00]: I also had the health departments certificate for New York which was kind of a big help because I mean we you know I understood like the has a plan on that someone more of it. 21:59.687 --> 22:03.010 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember we were working to try to make things better. 22:03.030 --> 22:04.812 [SPEAKER_00]: This is 2003, 2004. 22:04.912 --> 22:06.373 [SPEAKER_00]: This is 2004. 22:06.413 --> 22:13.840 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember there were moments of just like, we got him to bring business in here, and we got to figure out ways to get to the next level. 22:16.322 --> 22:20.524 [SPEAKER_00]: And I had, we had a family connection with some of the New York Times. 22:20.544 --> 22:24.725 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a famous writer in the food section called Her Name was Florence Fabricate. 22:24.785 --> 22:36.730 [SPEAKER_00]: She was like the main, she used to be, I think she's still there, I'm not an percent sure, but she used to be the main person for the, the dining in-section or the food section in the Wednesday times. 22:37.310 --> 22:41.993 [SPEAKER_00]: The Wednesday Times food section was like the make or break section of restaurants. 22:42.433 --> 22:46.636 [SPEAKER_00]: When restaurants would open, they wanted Florence Fabricante to do her review. 22:46.716 --> 22:58.984 [SPEAKER_00]: They wanted, I mean, it really was like as soon as that Wednesday Times, every food in New York would draw, you know, would make an effort to go to the website or go to the restaurant, something that was such a big deal. 22:59.585 --> 23:04.648 [SPEAKER_00]: So I did like a Hail Mary, my father knew Florence because when he was a line maker, he was 23:06.885 --> 23:23.921 [SPEAKER_00]: I sent her an email saying that I'm involved with this bakery, and I love you to try the cookies or something like that, and all of a sudden, and I know where she sent a message back, I love to try the cookies, so we sent the cookies, and we waited, and we didn't know when it was going to be, we didn't know anything, we didn't hear anything. 23:26.543 --> 23:30.246 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I got a message that we were going to be in the Wednesday Times. 23:31.247 --> 23:41.431 [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, giant deal, huge deal, just like the biggest of the biggest deals, and we're excited and preparing, and we were preparing for the onslaught of business. 23:41.931 --> 23:54.036 [SPEAKER_00]: This was before social media, 2004, so it wasn't social media, it wasn't involved, so you weren't dealing with like, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't evergreen content, it was like the Wednesday Times, and then they throw it out, right? 23:55.817 --> 23:56.157 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, 23:57.109 --> 24:06.763 [SPEAKER_00]: The Wednesday Times is going to be, we've got a message is going to be, and this Wednesday's Times is going to be a picture of the cookies, is going to picture the name, picture of me, picture of everything, and it's going to be great. 24:07.685 --> 24:12.632 [SPEAKER_00]: While the Wednesday Times that came out in, was the Wednesday Times where they announced, 24:13.553 --> 24:18.555 [SPEAKER_00]: that George Bush beat John Kerry and now George Bush is the president of the United States. 24:18.596 --> 24:19.276 [SPEAKER_00]: He'd been done. 24:19.516 --> 24:25.059 [SPEAKER_00]: He'd done his first term and then he won his second term beating John Kerry. 24:25.079 --> 24:27.280 [SPEAKER_00]: On Wednesday, on the Wednesday times. 24:28.467 --> 24:34.770 [SPEAKER_00]: front cover, George Bush wins, and it was everything anybody wanted to talk about. 24:35.650 --> 24:46.095 [SPEAKER_00]: And open up the wincy section, there's a picture of the bakery, there's a picture of the company, there's a picture of the name of the business, there's the name of the website, there's the telephone number to get there, down there. 24:47.307 --> 24:49.569 [SPEAKER_00]: We got no business, zero business. 24:49.649 --> 24:51.431 [SPEAKER_00]: We got fucking blanked. 24:51.511 --> 24:58.958 [SPEAKER_00]: We got just overlooked completely because of the election, the election results. 24:59.658 --> 25:05.383 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was like, it was such a bummer because it was like the timing was horrible. 25:05.663 --> 25:06.664 [SPEAKER_00]: The timing was horrible. 25:06.684 --> 25:10.468 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like getting into the Wednesday times was such a huge deal. 25:12.404 --> 25:16.698 [SPEAKER_00]: and for there to be this like the golden opportunity. 25:17.655 --> 25:27.579 [SPEAKER_00]: And then, in frankly, if I'm going to be honest with you, I'll tell you, I'm not going to like me when I tell you this, but I'm not going to tell you anyway. 25:27.959 --> 25:31.240 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just remember being like, God damn God, I'm Wednesday Times, nobody cared. 25:31.480 --> 25:36.742 [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody, everyone was so, everyone was so glued to the election results. 25:36.762 --> 25:39.884 [SPEAKER_00]: In the fact that we had to have George Bush for another, you know, four years. 25:39.924 --> 25:42.865 [SPEAKER_00]: It was just like, you know, that's, you know, a whole big thing. 25:43.845 --> 25:47.506 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just remember being with such a huge weight and like we didn't get any bump in business. 25:47.526 --> 25:51.827 [SPEAKER_00]: Like that should have changed the trajectory of the business and didn't get anything in anywhere. 25:52.847 --> 25:57.148 [SPEAKER_00]: And speaking of timing isn't very timing, isn't everything by me at timing. 25:57.248 --> 25:58.729 [SPEAKER_00]: Up in Washington Heights is what's for you. 25:59.609 --> 26:05.831 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember what I was in recently when I was in, not recently is number eight years ago. 26:05.991 --> 26:09.152 [SPEAKER_00]: I was in, I was asked to be in the Epicurious video. 26:09.172 --> 26:10.512 [SPEAKER_00]: There's an Epicurious video. 26:11.112 --> 26:25.017 [SPEAKER_00]: where there was a whole thing where they were having an expert, you know, comparing contrast, different, you know, there was a, you know, a sliced meat guy, there's a coffee person, there's a mustard person, there's a pickle person, and then they had me to be the knife person. 26:25.037 --> 26:29.379 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember, it was a big deal, and it was like, it was really great for the business. 26:29.519 --> 26:31.339 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't look particularly good. 26:31.699 --> 26:35.501 [SPEAKER_00]: I picked the worst shirt to wherever, it was this pink, 26:36.141 --> 26:42.365 [SPEAKER_00]: Fucking shirt that like every time I see it I have in the closet and I kind of want to what sometimes I had some days I'm just like I should wear that shirt. 26:42.385 --> 26:43.986 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just like don't wear the shirt. 26:44.406 --> 26:57.714 [SPEAKER_00]: I was I was just so it was so last minute and I was so puffy and my hands look like shit and I look like shit And I didn't shave because I thought it would like hide some of my puffiness and everything about it was terrible I mean everything about it was bad. 26:57.794 --> 27:02.597 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't I look like shit and I felt like shit and it was like not optimal 27:03.417 --> 27:27.468 [SPEAKER_00]: And when it came out it was a big deal and I was really hoping there was going to go big on you know on we were climbing up on YouTube we were getting into it became the Epicurious video that series became very popular and people really liked it and and it was climbing up the ladder and it was in the top 10 of YouTube and it was really cool and it was getting messages from all over the world and I was getting messages from friends of ours and it was just really really neat. 27:28.248 --> 27:34.050 [SPEAKER_00]: And then all of a sudden, I remember walking my dogs, and just don't judge me too hard on this. 27:34.090 --> 27:41.893 [SPEAKER_00]: Just take it for out is, I'm embarrassed by this admission, but at the same time, I'm not wrong. 27:42.434 --> 27:54.938 [SPEAKER_00]: And nor would the person that I'm talking about really, he would laugh to, I think, was I was walking my dogs and I was bumped into a neighbor and they said, did you hear Anthony Bourdain just killed himself? 27:55.178 --> 27:56.479 [SPEAKER_00]: They found Anthony Bourdain to it. 27:57.727 --> 27:58.608 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, what? 27:59.228 --> 28:00.449 [SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy. 28:01.230 --> 28:12.017 [SPEAKER_00]: And in my mind, in my just propellant, my repellant, deep, dark depths of just being not a good person. 28:12.298 --> 28:17.722 [SPEAKER_00]: There's this little part of me that's a horrible, horrible, horrible, just. 28:18.382 --> 28:20.884 [SPEAKER_00]: a pig of a person, just a pig of a person. 28:21.425 --> 28:25.768 [SPEAKER_00]: The first thing I thought of is, well, there goes the top five on YouTube. 28:26.289 --> 28:29.372 [SPEAKER_00]: I ain't going anywhere and I was over 1,000 percent right. 28:29.712 --> 28:31.574 [SPEAKER_00]: I was a 1,000 percent right. 28:31.594 --> 28:35.077 [SPEAKER_00]: I got broken to the top 10 and then as soon as he died, that was it. 28:35.097 --> 28:35.377 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like, 28:36.913 --> 28:40.615 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it didn't go obviously, I'm not happy that he killed himself. 28:41.095 --> 28:43.636 [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, Sir Suicide is such a big deal. 28:43.656 --> 28:44.437 [SPEAKER_00]: You got to say that now. 28:45.377 --> 28:46.418 [SPEAKER_00]: It is a terrible thing. 28:46.438 --> 28:49.819 [SPEAKER_00]: You should find someone to speak to someone and blah, blah, blah. 28:49.839 --> 28:50.600 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to say it. 28:50.620 --> 28:51.980 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not blah, blah, blah. 28:52.020 --> 28:56.723 [SPEAKER_00]: Suicide, but I mean, let's have a little slight sense of humor about the whole situation. 28:57.583 --> 29:07.710 [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, I'm just being humorous, but if you're talking about the small, awful human being that I have to And then I can be sometimes and I just remember being like, oh my god, he died. 29:07.890 --> 29:12.153 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, there it goes to top five I mean that's over and I was 100% right. 29:12.294 --> 29:21.200 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel good about it, but at the same time I mean I'm being honest, but at the same time I even repeating this conversation I'm just like, God, Jeff, is this really the story you want to tell? 29:21.740 --> 29:26.223 [SPEAKER_00]: But I remember the timing wasn't really great But at the same time's out of my hand, what can you do? 29:26.243 --> 29:26.724 [SPEAKER_00]: That's life 29:27.930 --> 29:31.012 [SPEAKER_00]: This Allison got us right in there. 29:31.332 --> 29:32.993 [SPEAKER_00]: Allison got us right in there. 29:33.053 --> 29:33.973 [SPEAKER_00]: We got lucky. 29:34.093 --> 29:36.355 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think any of us thought about the midterms. 29:36.755 --> 29:40.437 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like thought, anybody, but I thought, hopefully it's good. 29:40.597 --> 29:41.497 [SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully we do a great chat. 29:41.537 --> 29:42.178 [SPEAKER_00]: It was amazing. 29:42.778 --> 29:46.860 [SPEAKER_00]: But I swear to God, two days later, we would have been boneed. 29:47.000 --> 29:52.403 [SPEAKER_00]: If we had bumped up the sale any time later, we would have been a disaster area. 29:52.784 --> 29:54.545 [SPEAKER_00]: And the other thing is the great part is, 29:55.806 --> 29:56.627 [SPEAKER_00]: Totally slammed down. 29:56.647 --> 29:59.390 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm actually recording it like seven o'clock in the morning. 29:59.450 --> 30:04.515 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm supposed to be you know I usually work out in the mornings, but I'm just like so behind it. 30:04.535 --> 30:10.741 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to get ready to go down the John's down to do the class from excited about timing is not my thing right now. 30:10.761 --> 30:18.970 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have a lot of time But I just remember being like god damn this is like I think about the times that timing has been bad and this one of the time it was awesome 30:20.752 --> 30:27.893 [SPEAKER_00]: And in regards to the question of what I think about the midterms, one thing I will say is I just relax everybody. 30:28.474 --> 30:31.214 [SPEAKER_00]: I learned, I didn't learn my lesson. 30:31.874 --> 30:36.335 [SPEAKER_00]: I felt as though there is a lot to something that happened on KnifeTalk. 30:36.775 --> 30:44.697 [SPEAKER_00]: If you listen to KnifeTalk, if you listen to the deep dark, you know, the old ones, not the bad ones, the older episodes, there's some times where 30:45.517 --> 30:58.705 [SPEAKER_00]: You can tell before the internet, you know, the podcast, you know, white wash, the flooding of the podcast market where everyone gets a microphone and then they think they know everything. 30:59.485 --> 31:01.206 [SPEAKER_00]: We would talk about our lives. 31:01.246 --> 31:03.808 [SPEAKER_00]: Talk about a knife-making, talk to answer questions like we do. 31:03.928 --> 31:04.829 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a phone episode. 31:05.109 --> 31:05.829 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a fun show. 31:06.109 --> 31:10.672 [SPEAKER_00]: And you can tell when I'm just tired to talk about knives because I just want to talk about it. 31:10.912 --> 31:17.584 [SPEAKER_00]: You know jokes and something that which is every episode, you know, I will derail any knife talk as often as I can. 31:17.604 --> 31:19.447 [SPEAKER_00]: And remember 31:20.928 --> 31:22.669 [SPEAKER_00]: And remember, we were talking about politics. 31:22.689 --> 31:33.174 [SPEAKER_00]: Wasn't when you were talking about politics, it was Craig, Lockwood, Craig Lockwood is like the Christopher Columbus of knife talk because he started it and he has ownership of it. 31:33.214 --> 31:42.699 [SPEAKER_00]: And he, as he should and every so often, he feels like he feels as though this is my opportunity to say something about the state of the world. 31:43.219 --> 31:45.661 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like it's great. 31:45.961 --> 31:49.343 [SPEAKER_00]: And I love it because I can tell that he's just 31:50.283 --> 32:07.630 [SPEAKER_00]: Let me, you know, he puts down his scepter and he looks out off the throne and he just tells you the state of the world and this is terrible and that's horrible and it's great and I always see it like this moment of just like his own recreational outrage and I love it. 32:08.130 --> 32:13.732 [SPEAKER_00]: However, at any time that happens and it got to the point where I used to think that it was about 32:14.998 --> 32:19.123 [SPEAKER_00]: every six months, you know, he would just something would happen and he would say something. 32:19.143 --> 32:29.094 [SPEAKER_00]: We've had, you know, the responses we get with anytime, and I don't get into it because I honestly don't think I'm that smart in regards to that stuff, but we'll talk about that. 32:29.975 --> 32:31.817 [SPEAKER_00]: But what happens is, is... 32:33.335 --> 32:48.067 [SPEAKER_00]: Creggle say something and then the audience will get feedback that's usually just like, you know, don't talk about politics and it's like or or or or it'll be something the very like it won't even to be a nice way of saying I appreciate if you don't talk about it. 32:48.427 --> 32:52.450 [SPEAKER_00]: It'll always be something kind of like we got one I'll never forget this one guy says, 32:52.850 --> 32:59.132 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a hard job and when I'm on the weekends I want to listen to knife talk. 32:59.812 --> 33:11.614 [SPEAKER_00]: knife talk is my vacation and I have a hard life and I'm a hard time and I'm working hard and when I listen to knife talk that's my vacation and I don't want you speaking about politics on my vacation. 33:11.834 --> 33:12.755 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like something like that. 33:12.775 --> 33:13.995 [SPEAKER_00]: I was just like like whoa. 33:14.916 --> 33:16.297 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, when do we get paid? 33:16.417 --> 33:19.341 [SPEAKER_00]: When do we get paid to be like host of your vacation? 33:19.541 --> 33:20.182 [SPEAKER_00]: What the fuck? 33:20.482 --> 33:24.367 [SPEAKER_00]: You and I remember reading it on the podcast and Craigslist. 33:24.387 --> 33:25.828 [SPEAKER_00]: This is my podcast. 33:25.868 --> 33:26.669 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll talk whenever I want. 33:26.990 --> 33:28.612 [SPEAKER_00]: However, the problem is is like, 33:30.229 --> 33:32.231 [SPEAKER_00]: as podcasting is kind of gone on. 33:32.751 --> 33:41.599 [SPEAKER_00]: It often seems as though anybody who has a podcast where they'll come up with the idea for a podcast and then they'll have a direction. 33:42.340 --> 33:53.290 [SPEAKER_00]: And like in the maker space, there's so many makers who have this niche niche, I've been seven fooling around that word a lot, it's niche niche, I don't know the fuck it is. 33:53.830 --> 34:15.087 [SPEAKER_00]: like there's woodworkers have a podcast and then they'll talk about woodworking in the cabinet makers of a podcast and metalworkers have a podcast and they have these like you know this almost like this north pole of the direction that they want their podcast to take and then subsequently when you have a microphone for a new face to often these guys will just decide well. 34:15.927 --> 34:17.868 [SPEAKER_00]: I can say something, I can say whatever I want. 34:18.248 --> 34:26.371 [SPEAKER_00]: And then all of a sudden there's this feeling that your words have some type of importance. 34:27.072 --> 34:42.018 [SPEAKER_00]: So I know that in a lot of Maker Spaces, and a lot of Maker Podcasts, I've heard them, and when they talk about politics, I must say, they sound stupid, and they really sound like, either they're regurgitating something that they've heard from somewhere else, or they're just like, 34:43.322 --> 35:11.003 [SPEAKER_00]: arrogant and I know it all and it's just like sometimes I'm going to hear some of these podcasts and they talk about life as if they are like Solomon King Solomon they know everything and they have a answer for everything and this is what I do and this is what you should do and I can't believe these people and it's just like bro you are got to be kidding everybody you don't know everything and my opinion is it's become so boring there's another reason when I talk politics 35:11.743 --> 35:21.935 [SPEAKER_00]: Number one, I don't find myself to be that smart, and I don't have all the answers, and I don't want to pretend like if I listen to someone, I read something, and I don't all of a sudden, now I'm, I have a master's degree in political science. 35:22.235 --> 35:29.023 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what I, you know, I can, I know that I can talk simply to people, but at the same time, it's to get becomes very boring. 35:29.623 --> 35:31.146 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. 35:31.466 --> 35:33.950 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to tell you about the politics of things. 35:34.211 --> 35:38.498 [SPEAKER_00]: And the other thing is, I also, I don't want to hear your politics. 35:38.518 --> 35:39.880 [SPEAKER_00]: So why would you want to hear mine? 35:40.341 --> 35:41.483 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's a two-way street. 35:41.503 --> 35:43.166 [SPEAKER_00]: If I don't want to hear your politics. 35:44.374 --> 35:45.294 [SPEAKER_00]: You shouldn't have to hear my name. 35:45.594 --> 35:47.155 [SPEAKER_00]: So I really don't steer clear. 35:47.315 --> 35:48.775 [SPEAKER_00]: I steer clear of the political talk. 35:49.215 --> 35:59.418 [SPEAKER_00]: And all these pondcasters who think that they know things outside of their little stupid, you know, they're stupid little niche. 35:59.838 --> 36:02.219 [SPEAKER_00]: You gotta understand that they don't know what they're talking about. 36:02.279 --> 36:04.440 [SPEAKER_00]: Usually it's one guy or two guys. 36:04.760 --> 36:06.140 [SPEAKER_00]: And then there'll be a third guy. 36:06.420 --> 36:12.222 [SPEAKER_00]: And then the one guy will say something and the second guy will be like, yeah, your laugh is like the rest of the world are stupid. 36:12.722 --> 36:37.957 [SPEAKER_00]: They know everything and then there's a third guy who really has nothing but he just chuckles You know, it's just like there's this there's this it's almost formulaic one guy knows everything The other guy agrees and pretends like he's he knows everything too and the third guy just kind of chuckles And it's like I don't do that so in regards to the midterms I'm not kind of really I don't really have a whole lot to say about it except for the fact that it was pretty shocking that it was such an ass whip And where I come from 36:38.457 --> 36:46.102 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, Lexington Avenue, but as what they say in Lexington Avenue, back back in the day is I was asked what happened, and that's why I'm going to say about it. 36:46.462 --> 36:55.968 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, God bless you, if you're for it, if you're happy you can't good, if you're sad, I'm sorry, if you're, if you're not happy about it, then you know, life goes on and you funny enough. 36:57.163 --> 37:25.075 [SPEAKER_00]: The craziest part is, is now our news information used to be I grew up at a time when I remember my dad would put on the news, six o'clock news with Dan Rather or Walter Cronkite and then we watch them up and show and I remember Walter Cronkite, Peter Jennings, Dan Rather, Paum Brokeau, all these guys are wearing suits and they're dressed up and they're talking in a proper way, I don't know how, Paum Brokeau. 37:48.935 --> 37:58.458 [SPEAKER_00]: recording out of wearing ear buds, holding the his wired earbud microphone to his mouth, and then he's recording out of a closet. 37:58.939 --> 38:03.940 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is, this is now the way we get our news for some, I always say to my wife, I was talking about something. 38:03.960 --> 38:05.861 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I heard that this happened to see, where'd you get that from? 38:06.101 --> 38:08.042 [SPEAKER_00]: As is some dork-worn, juicy sweatshirt. 38:08.702 --> 38:13.706 [SPEAKER_00]: with that earbud holding up the wired, wired microphone, it it claws it with a ring light. 38:14.106 --> 38:15.987 [SPEAKER_00]: Like that's how things have gone. 38:16.067 --> 38:31.358 [SPEAKER_00]: So in regards to the politics, I don't really, it just isn't, it's just, it's a boring, unless I had something to say, you know, if I honestly believed that had something interesting to say that was nuanced or had anything to do with anything, I'm better off just telling stories about. 38:31.898 --> 38:34.483 [SPEAKER_00]: you know what I've been through my life or something like that. 38:34.563 --> 38:36.967 [SPEAKER_00]: Otherwise, it just becomes a guardian board. 38:37.067 --> 38:38.890 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just pontificate. 38:38.910 --> 38:40.252 [SPEAKER_00]: That's the other thing of a podcast. 38:41.376 --> 38:50.744 [SPEAKER_00]: The best ones, and I know that we, on full blast, the ones that are the people I identify the most, are when you're telling a story and painting the story. 38:51.304 --> 39:02.213 [SPEAKER_00]: And if I can tell a story and paint the story, and try to remember the little details and try to bring you along and try to paint the picture, I get so much more people, more 39:04.957 --> 39:16.969 [SPEAKER_00]: really identify with those episodes and you go into that time machine thing where the time, you know, time kind of slows speeds up or slows down and all of a sudden when you're done with it, you're just like, I can't believe that happened. 39:17.409 --> 39:25.777 [SPEAKER_00]: But when you start to like espouse, when these podcasts start espousing, especially when you know that this guy is guy, no I mean no offense, but I mean it's guy. 39:26.458 --> 39:35.405 [SPEAKER_00]: dropped out of high school and then he's a do your own research guy and all of a sudden he draws the information and he likes and he repeats the shit that you hear from other people. 39:35.965 --> 39:40.729 [SPEAKER_00]: It's so boring and it's just like it's just so formulaic and it's just, that's enough already. 39:41.129 --> 39:50.796 [SPEAKER_00]: So I honestly feel as though I'd rather just kind of paint the stories of my life or you know when we have a conversation we kind of get into this interesting conversation far more interesting. 39:51.177 --> 39:54.659 [SPEAKER_00]: But my in regards to the person asking what I thought about the midterms 39:56.060 --> 40:01.362 [SPEAKER_00]: From where I come from, Lexington Avenue, that was an ass whipping, and that seemed to that. 40:01.462 --> 40:18.809 [SPEAKER_00]: Back to the whole alcohol thing, you know, it's funny, I was thinking about thinking about last week's episode with Leah Arapatch, and we were talking about our traumas with ET and traumas, you know, how you're, you know, we talk about our traumas a lot and how they affect us, and I constantly think to myself about, uh, 40:19.449 --> 40:28.772 [SPEAKER_00]: you know, how did my childhood of kind of make affect the decisions that I do now and where, where do I do certain things and where does it all come from? 40:29.493 --> 40:33.534 [SPEAKER_00]: And in terms of alcohol, the funny thing is, no, no, it's funny. 40:33.914 --> 40:41.697 [SPEAKER_00]: But what I grew up at a time and in a family, after my parents got divorced, my mother's side of the family were had a little bit more to do with 40:42.017 --> 40:55.051 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, alcohol was a bigger part of their lives, my grandmother had alcohol issues, my uncle had alcohol issues and my uncle was the first person to actually come out when I was younger, come out and say that he was an alcoholic and didn't really have a lot of information about it. 40:55.531 --> 41:02.459 [SPEAKER_00]: But it was interesting because I just remember, you know, I think it was the timing of them growing up and something that I think that alcohol 41:03.019 --> 41:03.880 [SPEAKER_00]: use was a lot more. 41:03.920 --> 41:10.263 [SPEAKER_00]: It was a lot different than, um, and there wasn't a lot of talk about, you know, being an alcoholic or alcoholism. 41:10.283 --> 41:13.845 [SPEAKER_00]: There wasn't as readily available the information about treatment, so like that. 41:14.226 --> 41:20.229 [SPEAKER_00]: So when my uncle came out and I was very young and he just wanted to sit me down and tell him that he's an alcoholic. 41:20.269 --> 41:22.170 [SPEAKER_00]: It was really like, it was scary. 41:22.190 --> 41:25.492 [SPEAKER_00]: It was, I was happy for him because he felt like he was coming better. 41:26.392 --> 41:28.534 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was asking a lot of questions, but then every time 41:31.060 --> 41:34.719 [SPEAKER_00]: If I ask another question, is it going to think I feel like I have a problem? 41:35.718 --> 41:43.621 [SPEAKER_00]: And that was like, all of a sudden, I got scared, just like if I ask too many questions, it's that's gonna be suspicious that maybe I'm an alcoholic. 41:43.821 --> 41:49.403 [SPEAKER_00]: I had fucking 12, and I just remember there were also, I was so, I was so appreciative of all. 41:49.843 --> 41:56.026 [SPEAKER_00]: There were these commercials, there were these commercials that, these, you know, say no to drugs and all that stuff. 41:56.586 --> 42:01.168 [SPEAKER_00]: And there was this one commercial that was about alcoholism and it said, 42:02.285 --> 42:05.309 [SPEAKER_00]: if you have to ask yourself, am I an alcoholic? 42:06.150 --> 42:08.252 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you are, something like that. 42:08.452 --> 42:08.953 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like that. 42:08.993 --> 42:15.120 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like, if you have to ask yourself if you're an alcoholic, I think it's time or admit that you are. 42:15.180 --> 42:15.901 [SPEAKER_00]: Something like that. 42:16.041 --> 42:22.208 [SPEAKER_00]: And I said to myself, Jeff, and I was like, really, I was like, eight or nine or 10 or something like that. 42:22.328 --> 42:22.889 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, Jeff. 42:23.498 --> 42:28.322 [SPEAKER_00]: If you think you're not gonna call like, uh, I am, I am, if I ask myself that means I am. 42:28.642 --> 42:31.965 [SPEAKER_00]: And I've had this paranoia that I was just like, don't ask yourself anymore. 42:32.285 --> 42:36.029 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't ask yourself because if you ask yourself, you have to face the facts. 42:36.569 --> 42:37.350 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm fucking known. 42:37.390 --> 42:39.031 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't really think about the alcohol. 42:39.732 --> 42:43.455 [SPEAKER_00]: I just remember, you know, as I grew up, especially when my parents were divorced, 42:44.996 --> 42:48.657 [SPEAKER_00]: There, I had a lot more, there was a lot more, there were much more lenient on me. 42:48.937 --> 42:52.358 [SPEAKER_00]: I keep talking about the whole, you know, latched key kid thing, but that was a thing. 42:52.838 --> 42:54.058 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I was left alone. 42:54.538 --> 43:03.341 [SPEAKER_00]: And there was these moments of, a lot of time I became, you know, got into high school, under age drinking was a, wasn't frowned upon, but it wasn't encouraged. 43:03.681 --> 43:08.262 [SPEAKER_00]: However, I grew up in a time where, and you can look up, you can look up Robert Chambers. 43:08.702 --> 43:12.063 [SPEAKER_00]: I went to the same high school's Robert Chambers, who was the preppy murderer. 43:12.603 --> 43:16.085 [SPEAKER_00]: And what he had done is he had gone with like a lot of other high-school kids. 43:16.125 --> 43:18.166 [SPEAKER_00]: They gone to bars that don't card you. 43:18.646 --> 43:22.088 [SPEAKER_00]: This was back in the early 90s, late 80s, early 90s. 43:23.028 --> 43:26.670 [SPEAKER_00]: And he ended up bringing this girl to Central Park. 43:26.690 --> 43:29.732 [SPEAKER_00]: And they were having rough sex as he said it, and he ended up killing her in the park. 43:30.052 --> 43:34.554 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was a huge story in New York, the Preppy Murder. 43:34.934 --> 43:35.335 [SPEAKER_00]: Look it up. 43:35.735 --> 43:38.956 [SPEAKER_00]: So there was also, by the time we got to high school, 43:42.258 --> 43:43.419 [SPEAKER_00]: And that was where we all went. 43:44.439 --> 43:52.542 [SPEAKER_00]: Also my mother was not around and she knew that I was drinking because she knew that her she and her brothers She should drink when they were high school and she didn't say I don't want you drinking. 43:52.582 --> 44:03.646 [SPEAKER_00]: She she almost would rather if I was going to drink I should drink beer at home So she would buy me a piece of beer which I'm finding out and I found out later for my wife That was really appropriate. 44:04.166 --> 44:10.629 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I bought it now So I mean there was cases of Miller light and the refrigerator and I would just you know help myself to them, you know 44:11.249 --> 44:11.529 [SPEAKER_00]: often. 44:13.011 --> 44:16.333 [SPEAKER_00]: We did a lot on our age drinking in high school, didn't think it was a big deal. 44:16.353 --> 44:23.779 [SPEAKER_00]: I just remember my father who when I was with him would say to me, don't get drunk. 44:24.180 --> 44:27.022 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, he used to say to me, getting drunk is for low lives. 44:27.522 --> 44:34.248 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember feeling like, at the time, I was such, you know, so he was, he was my father figure, he was my dad. 44:34.268 --> 44:34.688 [SPEAKER_00]: I was really 44:37.118 --> 44:40.181 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, so I was just like, I always, oh my mind, I'm like, I won't be drunk that. 44:40.381 --> 44:52.814 [SPEAKER_00]: And I even say that's my daughter when she turned 21, before she turned 21, I would either have conversations about alcohol and I'm like, don't be, act like you've been here before, don't get drunk being drunk as for low lives, all that stuff. 44:54.162 --> 45:02.490 [SPEAKER_00]: So when I got to college, you know, I had, you know, I got used to drinking in high school and stuff like that drinking beer and I think crazy. 45:02.530 --> 45:05.833 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I guess whatever we get our hands on, but I wasn't nothing was crazy. 45:06.434 --> 45:10.878 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't remember many moments of being like, this is, this is really bad. 45:10.918 --> 45:13.501 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have any really bad moments. 45:13.981 --> 45:30.053 [SPEAKER_00]: I think in the 90s, underage drinking was kind of a big deal getting bottles and james, wine, coolers at the Korean market that was pretty standard and you know if getting there were places that would sell you beer, they wouldn't card you, you really wouldn't, I mean it wasn't a huge situation and I got to college. 45:31.155 --> 45:33.316 [SPEAKER_00]: you're at Ohio in the middle of nowhere. 45:34.197 --> 45:38.018 [SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, there was drinking was all over the place we were drinking all the time. 45:38.799 --> 45:43.561 [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, I don't remember ever becoming having a problem. 45:44.382 --> 45:48.564 [SPEAKER_00]: I made a decision at what a certain point when I, I think I made a decision 45:49.544 --> 46:03.857 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I wanted to be for, I actually, I think that one of the reasons why my mother was not dismissive of underage drinking with me at least was I feel as though when my parents got divorced and I was alone, my sisters were out of the house, they were not even from that my mother's marriage. 46:03.917 --> 46:05.719 [SPEAKER_00]: So I was alone. 46:06.179 --> 46:15.007 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that she wanted me to have a degree of social social life and I thought that she felt, I feel as though she felt like drinking was part of the 46:15.808 --> 46:18.491 [SPEAKER_00]: having a social life so she never really discouraged it. 46:19.012 --> 46:22.155 [SPEAKER_00]: She never like sat me down and I mean I told the story. 46:22.635 --> 46:25.939 [SPEAKER_00]: She sat me down about they found the pornography in the bathroom. 46:26.179 --> 46:29.022 [SPEAKER_00]: I never never forget they found the pornography. 46:29.663 --> 46:31.204 [SPEAKER_00]: I really really quick. 46:31.585 --> 46:34.688 [SPEAKER_00]: I got a porn omega and I hide it under the rug and 46:35.128 --> 46:55.992 [SPEAKER_00]: and the cleaning lady found it and then my mother gave me a lecture and then I thought you know month later she'll you know the cleaning lady will never suspect that I'd be stupid enough to put the porno mag in the same spot I got a new porno mag put in the fucking same spot and they caught me again and I was like ugh so I got sat down about the porno mag but underage drinking was never really kind of 46:56.413 --> 46:58.794 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I think I ever got sat down and trouble about that. 46:59.114 --> 47:04.016 [SPEAKER_00]: The porno mag, I think it was more about my mother thinking you know, it was really stupid. 47:04.236 --> 47:06.156 [SPEAKER_00]: No, why would I put them porno mag at the same spot? 47:06.596 --> 47:10.038 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought I was being, I thought I was out thinking everybody, but whatever. 47:11.722 --> 47:31.936 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember when I was in college, you know, you know, you obviously people are getting bombed and just the amount of, you know, alcohol was crazy and I just remember when I declared my major as an art major and I remember telling my father and he was so disappointed, so dismissive and just told me, 47:32.456 --> 47:38.904 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll never get anywhere with that and you'll never get anywhere and he would this is a man who was in the arts He was a painter. 47:38.964 --> 47:40.286 [SPEAKER_00]: He was a extraordinary painter. 47:40.726 --> 47:41.968 [SPEAKER_00]: He was in graphic design. 47:42.028 --> 47:46.973 [SPEAKER_00]: He had a background in art He saw the opportunities that artists had and he just didn't believe in me 47:47.574 --> 47:55.140 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember there was this real defining moment with me, where I was just like, I will prove him wrong. 47:55.320 --> 47:57.122 [SPEAKER_00]: I will use spite to prove him wrong. 47:58.043 --> 48:05.689 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember there was a real strong, and it took me years to kind of like look back and look at my decision making and in regards to this. 48:07.536 --> 48:15.141 [SPEAKER_00]: And part of the decision making was, well, how can I prove him wrong? 48:15.321 --> 48:17.023 [SPEAKER_00]: And part of me is just to be disciplined. 48:17.463 --> 48:22.847 [SPEAKER_00]: It'd be disciplined, but like, I need to be working, I need to be making art, and I have to prove him wrong. 48:23.107 --> 48:26.369 [SPEAKER_00]: I had a lot of friends in college who were just like, they were kidding. 48:26.869 --> 48:28.289 [SPEAKER_00]: There was stone all the time. 48:28.950 --> 48:30.890 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like there was just this. 48:31.710 --> 48:32.410 [SPEAKER_00]: Didn't care. 48:32.711 --> 48:36.832 [SPEAKER_00]: I felt like it was this really abusive of this position. 48:36.912 --> 48:42.533 [SPEAKER_00]: You're in this great liberal arts college, this great reputation, and you're just kind of, you know, you're just wasting it away. 48:42.553 --> 48:47.914 [SPEAKER_00]: I early, it got to the point where I felt as though I was taking someone spot. 48:47.994 --> 48:50.855 [SPEAKER_00]: And if I, if I didn't do a good job, I'd be wasting 48:51.415 --> 48:53.817 [SPEAKER_00]: an opportunity that someone else could have done a better job with. 48:53.837 --> 48:55.118 [SPEAKER_00]: So I took that really to heart. 48:55.599 --> 48:57.661 [SPEAKER_00]: And then when I decided I was going to prove my dad wrong. 48:57.701 --> 49:01.064 [SPEAKER_00]: I was in the art shop all the time. 49:01.524 --> 49:06.809 [SPEAKER_00]: I was really focused on, I really was focused on distinction. 49:07.269 --> 49:08.931 [SPEAKER_00]: I really wanted to get the highest honors. 49:09.391 --> 49:11.953 [SPEAKER_00]: I took every single sculpture class. 49:12.934 --> 49:31.512 [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna I actually got another question the asking if we're gonna get to the other question a little kind of weave into this whole thing and I Just I would I would I would I needed access to the art barn and I need to put in as much time as possible I wasn't crazy like I look back now and I remembered my mindset. 49:31.953 --> 49:35.336 [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't wild about any of the sculpture that I was doing at the time 49:36.257 --> 49:42.361 [SPEAKER_00]: But I also knew that you need to put in the time in the effort and you need to run through it. 49:42.841 --> 49:48.465 [SPEAKER_00]: Some things aren't going to be great, but you need to put the process down, you need to get your decision making down. 49:48.545 --> 49:53.588 [SPEAKER_00]: There's so much more than just making the master piece, this idea, the master piece. 49:54.048 --> 49:57.050 [SPEAKER_00]: You just need to get the experience in it. 49:57.270 --> 50:02.654 [SPEAKER_00]: All I was doing was, any time I was in any time the blights in the art bar was in, I was going to be in there. 50:03.274 --> 50:04.896 [SPEAKER_00]: Anytime I wasn't going to go to parties. 50:04.997 --> 50:06.178 [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't going to go to parties. 50:06.318 --> 50:09.001 [SPEAKER_00]: I did go to parties but I was like devoted. 50:09.062 --> 50:09.762 [SPEAKER_00]: I was devoted. 50:09.782 --> 50:11.364 [SPEAKER_00]: I was late nights in the shop. 50:11.805 --> 50:14.208 [SPEAKER_00]: I really wanted to learn how to be a better welder. 50:14.228 --> 50:15.329 [SPEAKER_00]: I did it on my own. 50:15.389 --> 50:18.513 [SPEAKER_00]: All the stuff I was really focused on being a sculptor. 50:19.417 --> 50:30.647 [SPEAKER_00]: to the point where when there was opportunities to go home for a vacation, and I was told that the art barn would be unlocked because the seniors needed to work on their projects. 50:31.327 --> 50:36.171 [SPEAKER_00]: I would consciously stay at school just so I had more time to work on sculpture. 50:37.092 --> 50:52.747 [SPEAKER_00]: And like I said, I look back on it now and there's no there's with the exception of I did an episode where I was talking about I mean when I was talking about the the cow Street County in Bizarre that was probably my like highest point and unfortunately it was my freshman freshman year But like I felt like I needed to get there again 50:54.317 --> 50:57.919 [SPEAKER_00]: And I really focused on it and I, and I, and I, and I, spring breaks or Christmas bread. 50:57.939 --> 50:58.800 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanksgiving breaks. 50:58.820 --> 51:01.962 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think Christmas breaks, but like spring break, thanksgiving break. 51:01.982 --> 51:06.085 [SPEAKER_00]: I'd stay in, I'd stay at school and I would be in the barn. 51:06.105 --> 51:13.930 [SPEAKER_00]: I'd be working, all my friends decided we're going to go abroad and then all of a sudden I started listening to like art majors who were going to go abroad and all I could think of is, 51:14.630 --> 51:18.151 [SPEAKER_00]: Great go abroad because that'll give me more time on these machines. 51:18.212 --> 51:21.213 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to have to be waiting for people I have more room in the shop to shop. 51:21.273 --> 51:28.015 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll be more less people here the better for me And it was a greedy situation, but it was the same time in my mind. 51:28.035 --> 51:38.660 [SPEAKER_00]: I was thinking I've got to prove my father wrong And the only way is to just really dial it in dread really just fucking focus and alcohol became something that was like 51:39.420 --> 51:43.203 [SPEAKER_00]: It was no longer this social moment for me. 51:43.563 --> 51:49.928 [SPEAKER_00]: It was really like, I felt like anything getting in my way of trying to prove my father wrong was a deterrent. 51:50.309 --> 51:55.433 [SPEAKER_00]: So all my friends went away for a semester abroad had these incredible experiences. 51:56.293 --> 52:10.905 [SPEAKER_00]: My shotman and roommate Miles went to Indonesia and pop on New Guinea, he was hanging out with the cannibals, and he brought back this, he brought me back this stuff from the cannibals, and with the pop on New Guinea and the hey, he had the most 52:11.645 --> 52:31.045 [SPEAKER_00]: Extraordinary experience, since this day Miles' work has a lot of clear reference from his time in Indonesian popular in Guinea, it was like this, I opening experience, my daughter went to Japan, I would never have done it because I all I could think of as like why can't, I mean, I can't lose more time in the shop. 52:32.442 --> 52:38.923 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was all too, it was all too spite my father, it was just dedication to prove him wrong. 52:39.443 --> 52:46.365 [SPEAKER_00]: And the funny part was, as the years go by, he would say, you know, they would, my family would say, you could come back for a semester for the spring break. 52:46.385 --> 52:49.646 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, no, I'm gonna stay in the shop and Mr. here and, you know, I'm working. 52:49.986 --> 52:56.167 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, because especially during vacations, all of a sudden, you can have classes, so you could be in the shop for more than noon tonight. 52:56.987 --> 53:07.537 [SPEAKER_00]: And you can run down the oxygen and you're running down the acetylene, you can run everything down, there's all these tools and all this, you know, scrap metal and all this, all this stuff and it wasn't even have to pay for any of it. 53:09.239 --> 53:15.544 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just remember feeling as though for me, it's like proving, proving my father wrong. 53:16.045 --> 53:18.848 [SPEAKER_00]: And I ended up having conversation in the years ago. 53:19.528 --> 53:26.990 [SPEAKER_00]: years later he said, well, when I was like about to be a junior and he's like, well, he knew how dedicated I was, was bringing sculptor home. 53:27.250 --> 53:39.253 [SPEAKER_00]: I was bringing so much sculptor home from every year that my mother, my father's wife hated it and she would just hide it and throw it in the dump and get rid of it and just like I was like overwhelming the house with sculptor. 53:39.433 --> 53:41.974 [SPEAKER_00]: I was and not nothing great, nothing amazing. 53:42.294 --> 53:44.234 [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, I was dedicated. 53:45.195 --> 53:48.936 [SPEAKER_00]: Some things he liked, and some things he was really, we would talk about something like that. 53:48.956 --> 53:55.637 [SPEAKER_00]: But he also said to me the most important part for an artist is to learn how to live like an artist. 53:55.657 --> 53:57.338 [SPEAKER_00]: So he was the one to tell me that. 53:58.078 --> 54:06.660 [SPEAKER_00]: I ended up getting a lot of internships over the summer, working for artists, and it gave me this idea of, OK, you go to art school, and you learn how to do all this stuff. 54:06.700 --> 54:08.160 [SPEAKER_00]: But how do you live like an artist? 54:08.200 --> 54:11.621 [SPEAKER_00]: And I really kind of, I was dedicated, super dedicated. 54:12.781 --> 54:20.527 [SPEAKER_00]: And it really, you know, alcohol and drugs were one of those things where I wasn't, it was, it was getting in my way. 54:20.847 --> 54:24.170 [SPEAKER_00]: Like anything that would make me not be able to go to the shop next day. 54:25.015 --> 54:38.260 [SPEAKER_00]: would even when I got to, when I got out of college and I had my studio in Green Point or when I was at home or when I was working for, and I was using someone else's shop or now here, Fader Nives and in my shop here. 54:38.920 --> 54:49.885 [SPEAKER_00]: The idea that something could get me in the way of any type of, you know, me feeling good about what I'm supposed to get done was like a hurdle that I was like, I don't even want to jump over the hurdle. 54:49.905 --> 54:50.845 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want the hurdle be there. 54:51.265 --> 54:52.666 [SPEAKER_00]: And I can't have this hurdle be there. 54:52.907 --> 54:58.271 [SPEAKER_00]: So my friend says me this Christmas holiday party, this, you know, we're not gonna have a drink with you. 54:58.291 --> 54:58.792 [SPEAKER_00]: What are you up to? 54:58.812 --> 55:02.755 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just like, I looked at them and just like, bro, I gotta go, I'm going to, I'm going to, I am going to work tomorrow. 55:03.036 --> 55:06.999 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not gonna, you know, and I'm not gonna mess these projects up. 55:07.440 --> 55:16.127 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's funny because I definitely, as I've got older, like now I'm in my 50s, everything, I'm accounting for everything. 55:16.868 --> 55:23.310 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm accounting for, if I have too much salt and dinner, the next morning, I'm a little dehydrated, I'm going to slay the headache. 55:24.090 --> 55:29.551 [SPEAKER_00]: If I've eaten too much of this, I can tell, this is what I was running for the marathon. 55:29.651 --> 55:39.873 [SPEAKER_00]: All of a sudden, I realized that the training of running for the marathon was one of those things where it affected me in a negative manner. 55:47.336 --> 55:49.919 [SPEAKER_00]: It was one of those things I just couldn't do, I couldn't do it anymore. 55:50.360 --> 56:03.298 [SPEAKER_00]: And now even thinking about it, and I'd like to try to run the marathon, you're able to see marathon one more time, you know, turn 55 and really look into it, and if I do it, I want to do it the right way with a trainer or something like that, because I really was just too much. 56:04.279 --> 56:11.124 [SPEAKER_00]: anything that gets in the way of trying to prove and now my father's dead, to dead 15 years. 56:11.604 --> 56:18.289 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still trying to figure out a way to prove people wrong. 56:18.329 --> 56:24.134 [SPEAKER_00]: People put my dad wrong, prove my family wrong, and it matters. 56:24.454 --> 56:27.336 [SPEAKER_00]: It matters, and funny enough, speaking to prove my family wrong. 56:27.876 --> 56:30.358 [SPEAKER_00]: I was on the phone number years ago with the family 56:33.200 --> 56:35.943 [SPEAKER_00]: She was being kind of, she was kind of fun seeing something like that. 56:36.524 --> 56:40.548 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just remember, you know, they're asking me what's going on. 56:40.568 --> 56:43.631 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't know about to go down to Pennsylvania, Center for Mental Arts. 56:43.651 --> 56:45.973 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to, I'm teaching class down there workshop. 56:46.554 --> 56:51.158 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember, there's a lot of worries that I sit on down in, you know, John's help Pennsylvania. 56:51.178 --> 56:52.560 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember this person said to me, 56:53.495 --> 56:54.295 [SPEAKER_00]: Pennsylvania. 56:54.495 --> 56:55.176 [SPEAKER_00]: What are you going to do? 56:55.576 --> 56:56.456 [SPEAKER_00]: Teach the armish? 56:56.596 --> 56:57.156 [SPEAKER_00]: Ha! 56:57.277 --> 57:18.065 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean it was like this very, very, it was, I don't think they meant it to be as dismissive as it was, but I took it very, I took it in a very, very dismissive way and probably way more than it, it like revved up my dad's ghost of Jove of not believing in me or thinking or just like being dismissive of what I was doing. 57:18.645 --> 57:25.290 [SPEAKER_00]: And it just like it got the competitive from the kick-out-think-competition vibes going completely. 57:26.812 --> 57:42.624 [SPEAKER_00]: I actually, I was talking to my wife and I was just like, I was saying it was, you know, I'm glad it didn't drink last night because it really needed to be focused for, I needed to be focused for, you know, Sunday and, you know, being able to sharpen these knives and get a box up and something that I just be hung over as a problem. 57:42.985 --> 57:48.685 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was talking to a friend of mine who had just recently really caught themselves in their finger. 57:49.358 --> 57:52.499 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was talking to this person and a friend of my great guy. 57:53.200 --> 57:56.181 [SPEAKER_00]: He was being very, you know, he had cut his finger poorly. 57:57.861 --> 58:01.163 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember when he was, I said, what happened? 58:01.263 --> 58:01.883 [SPEAKER_00]: What happened? 58:02.523 --> 58:04.924 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, you know, I was hung over. 58:05.164 --> 58:09.566 [SPEAKER_00]: I came into the kitchen and I was cutting and I cut the tip of my finger off. 58:10.507 --> 58:12.267 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was bad. 58:12.287 --> 58:13.668 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like, you know, a little bit, you know. 58:14.028 --> 58:16.149 [SPEAKER_00]: Who knows a little bit of the nail and a little bit of finger. 58:16.169 --> 58:18.250 [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, oh, you know, hung over it all that. 58:18.690 --> 58:37.917 [SPEAKER_00]: He says, and they wrapped it up, and then I was trying to hold it for a little bit and after a while, I realized that the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, 58:38.197 --> 58:40.340 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I got very, I started getting past out. 58:40.380 --> 58:42.724 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought it was going to pass out and we ended up going to the hospital. 58:42.784 --> 58:50.515 [SPEAKER_00]: I was, you know, going to throw up and pass out and it was, and if you're telling your story, and me and all of a sudden, they're, what ended up with this. 58:51.843 --> 58:57.645 [SPEAKER_00]: He was out of work for three days, three weeks, because his finger was pretty fucked up, and he was a cook. 58:58.525 --> 59:19.972 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was thinking about it later, and I was just like bleeding so much because of when you drink, apparently, in my mind, and this is a funny, this is funny too, is when you drink, I thought, well, that doesn't make you blood that I remember when I was at, when I used to get tattoos a lot, my tattoo artist would say, well, don't drink before you come here 59:21.733 --> 59:35.282 [SPEAKER_00]: I went into my, I was talking to my wife and I was just like, is it, isn't it true that when you're drinking, because I was, I was planning this whole, this whole bit out and talking about, you know, and I just remember, I thought, I thought to myself, oh, maybe, maybe a thing's your blood or something like that. 59:35.302 --> 59:45.988 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember saying, my wife, I'm like, Hillary, because she's up, you know, double masters in, in, in, in, in, in, in public health, and she's a nurse practitioner, she's just like, you know, a top of the food chain. 59:47.570 --> 01:00:10.286 [SPEAKER_00]: She knows anything, but, you know, so I just remember asking her, is it true that, you know, when you drink your blood gets thin and she's rolled her eyes slightly as in like, uh, don't bro science me dude, don't, it's like the guys with the talking politics, it's like imagine talking politics to a real political science person, and then all of a sudden they're just like, you'll fuck, you'll bro, you'll wrap it up. 01:00:10.566 --> 01:00:12.988 [SPEAKER_00]: So I remember turning to her, because you just like, 01:00:14.172 --> 01:00:28.605 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I mean, she didn't say it in a mean way, but I just like, I think that she was so exhausted from work, and it was very clear that I was just like teeing something up for the podcast, and she was just like, no, it doesn't thin your blood. 01:00:28.645 --> 01:00:30.928 [SPEAKER_00]: There are things that thin your blood, but that doesn't thin your blood. 01:00:30.948 --> 01:00:37.834 [SPEAKER_00]: So I had to get off the, you know, what it is is I guess when you drink, it alters blood clotting, and 01:00:40.617 --> 01:00:50.145 [SPEAKER_00]: Alcohol temporarily it temporarily impairs the platelet functions that can dilate blood vessels which make which may make your Make sure I'm sorry. 01:00:50.165 --> 01:00:55.149 [SPEAKER_00]: That was about them I ran about up about your period ladies and gentlemen my bat. 01:00:55.410 --> 01:01:02.476 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so alcohol temporarily your pairs of your platelet functions It can dilate blood vessels which makes your period feel heavier or increased blood clotting for some of the drool. 01:01:02.676 --> 01:01:05.999 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not what I wanted to know I was talking about when you broke when you hurt your finger 01:01:07.921 --> 01:01:19.999 [SPEAKER_00]: When, while alcohol is not a medical blood thinner, it impairs the ability of blood platelets to clump and form effective clots, meaning an open wound may cut or cut, may bleed longer or harder. 01:01:22.723 --> 01:01:36.506 [SPEAKER_00]: So, yeah, so it's potato patotta, ladies and gentlemen, it doesn't thin your blood, but it does some blood vessels and it restricts it and then it's just kind of, you know, when you've been drinking and then you cut yourself, you're just going to breathe bleed a lot more. 01:01:36.866 --> 01:01:37.886 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what happened this guy. 01:01:38.206 --> 01:01:46.348 [SPEAKER_00]: And all I could think of is being hung over is one thing, you know, but at the same time, to being hung over is not great, but then I thought, this is my ultimate fear. 01:01:46.688 --> 01:02:05.521 [SPEAKER_00]: My ultimate fear is, I go out, I get bomb in my friends, I force myself to wake up like I did when I was in college, I get into the shop, I do something really bad, and then all of a sudden, I'm incapacitated for even a day as too much for me, like the engine stops. 01:02:06.061 --> 01:02:10.644 [SPEAKER_00]: When I go away, I'm out of the shop, the engine stops. 01:02:11.525 --> 01:02:14.607 [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, I want to make sure that that doesn't happen. 01:02:15.467 --> 01:02:34.094 [SPEAKER_00]: Within reason I've totally it freaked me out when he told me the story because it in my mind I'm thinking this guy doesn't realize that like that being hung over Really kind of fucked him up and and so it's the point where I'm not a sober person But like if I had to if alcohol was unavailable I'm fine 100% fine 01:02:35.354 --> 01:02:47.001 [SPEAKER_00]: So what I've got to the point now is I'm at the point where I don't need, I don't want to do anything that would affect, you know, me being in the shop or me being able to be productive. 01:02:47.741 --> 01:02:53.805 [SPEAKER_00]: Anything that would like make me think that my father would say, see, I told you you couldn't do it. 01:02:54.225 --> 01:02:58.588 [SPEAKER_00]: So like I haven't skied in years because I'm just afraid of hurting myself. 01:02:59.048 --> 01:03:00.989 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a one wheel that I haven't been on. 01:03:01.529 --> 01:03:04.590 [SPEAKER_00]: It was given to me before during COVID. 01:03:05.210 --> 01:03:08.451 [SPEAKER_00]: And I haven't been on it in probably four years. 01:03:08.551 --> 01:03:11.832 [SPEAKER_00]: Since my daughter went to college, I haven't been on it because I'm afraid of falling. 01:03:12.413 --> 01:03:20.495 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not doing anything that would affect the success of what my expectations, what I want to get done. 01:03:20.855 --> 01:03:22.596 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is not a guru thing. 01:03:22.656 --> 01:03:27.418 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not me telling you, I'm telling you, me, my own traumas, with my fucking father. 01:03:28.338 --> 01:03:39.864 [SPEAKER_00]: I have made me more focused on trying to make sure that I'm healthy so I can just keep you know, I fighting the ghost of my father, which I'll never fight. 01:03:40.164 --> 01:03:46.407 [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, it's like this trauma that my decision making regards to it has been successful for me. 01:03:46.527 --> 01:03:48.908 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a motivating force for me that's made my life. 01:03:49.328 --> 01:04:04.712 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's made my life have more tumult, but at the same time it's been, it's been, you know, ultimately it's been, it's like a, what a Johnny Casher at this song would adopt a boy named Sue and he named his son Sue and all his life. 01:04:04.732 --> 01:04:12.053 [SPEAKER_00]: He had a fight because his name was Sue, people fool around them and then when he finally meets his dad, asking him why he met Sue, he's like, because I knew it was helping you up. 01:04:19.115 --> 01:04:22.058 [SPEAKER_00]: but with that I mean who knows. 01:04:22.579 --> 01:04:28.225 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I got another question from one of the listeners on the podcast. 01:04:28.265 --> 01:04:35.353 [SPEAKER_00]: If you go to a full blast podcast on Instagram, you can for sure send a message to the podcast. 01:04:36.034 --> 01:04:38.897 [SPEAKER_00]: I love it and especially when I have other guests on and so 01:04:40.379 --> 01:04:44.383 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, my man, Adele Knives, Adele Knives is the man. 01:04:45.064 --> 01:04:47.486 [SPEAKER_00]: He wrote, what would you have done differently? 01:04:48.587 --> 01:04:50.069 [SPEAKER_00]: What would you have done differently in life? 01:04:50.910 --> 01:04:56.976 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's funny because I think I thought about this and it goes back to what I was talking about being an art school. 01:04:59.151 --> 01:05:00.953 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think back to everything. 01:05:00.973 --> 01:05:02.615 [SPEAKER_00]: I hated being in the bakery, but it helped. 01:05:03.276 --> 01:05:03.737 [SPEAKER_00]: It helped. 01:05:04.457 --> 01:05:06.660 [SPEAKER_00]: It how every job I've ever done has been. 01:05:07.301 --> 01:05:09.283 [SPEAKER_00]: I've used some of that information here. 01:05:09.763 --> 01:05:11.766 [SPEAKER_00]: I was in with the bakery was also mail order. 01:05:11.806 --> 01:05:15.770 [SPEAKER_00]: I learned how to really do mail order to the point where there are no mistakes. 01:05:15.790 --> 01:05:17.272 [SPEAKER_00]: We do a good job, everything works out. 01:05:18.293 --> 01:05:38.610 [SPEAKER_00]: Even picking up dogs on the street when I was a kid, I learned how to be independent, I learned every job, I've never had a job where I've never had a job where I felt as though Nothing I've not been able to take any of the things that I've learned there and put it into a Fader knife, so I was thinking about the things I wish I had done differently And it was my when I was an art major 01:05:40.366 --> 01:05:44.150 [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, you know, I was saying that my father, I was trying to prove him wrong all the time. 01:05:44.651 --> 01:05:49.295 [SPEAKER_00]: I was very susceptible to, you know, mentors and stuff like that, like I had a mentor. 01:05:49.355 --> 01:05:57.063 [SPEAKER_00]: My first mentor was my art professor and he was my senior, he was my advisor from the beginning. 01:05:57.543 --> 01:05:58.985 [SPEAKER_00]: He was my presculpture teacher. 01:06:00.006 --> 01:06:04.170 [SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, it got to the point where he was my boss when I was the archhop assistant. 01:06:04.571 --> 01:06:09.256 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we had a relationship where I was very, very like, I saw him as a mentor. 01:06:09.616 --> 01:06:12.880 [SPEAKER_00]: And I also saw him as a path towards success as a sculptor. 01:06:13.240 --> 01:06:18.045 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, listening to him was very important to me in the idea of, 01:06:19.006 --> 01:06:47.789 [SPEAKER_00]: getting farther as a sculptor because not only was he the head of the sculpture department, but he you know we formed a relationship based on him being my advisor for since freshman year and my teacher and you know it was like we had a really good I was really excited that I had this guy and my corner who would help me meet the the expectations that I had on myself and I felt like I almost like it's like having a coach in your corner like a really good coach 01:06:48.870 --> 01:06:57.253 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just remember there was this moment where it was the first time I made the first time I made giant fishing lures. 01:06:57.273 --> 01:07:02.275 [SPEAKER_00]: I was in this class and we had to take something small and make it big. 01:07:03.016 --> 01:07:04.216 [SPEAKER_00]: Can you hear the leaf floor? 01:07:04.316 --> 01:07:05.077 [SPEAKER_00]: Is this unbelievable? 01:07:05.517 --> 01:07:06.177 [SPEAKER_00]: Leaf floor again? 01:07:07.137 --> 01:07:08.318 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I had it with the last time. 01:07:08.338 --> 01:07:09.078 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to do it again. 01:07:09.839 --> 01:07:15.461 [SPEAKER_00]: So I remember I was in this class and one of the sculpture projects we had to take something small and make it large. 01:07:15.641 --> 01:07:16.841 [SPEAKER_00]: And at the time I was doing a ton 01:07:18.762 --> 01:07:22.366 [SPEAKER_00]: that this little Rapala fishing lure, and I made it huge. 01:07:22.987 --> 01:07:26.771 [SPEAKER_00]: And at the time, it was so different than anything I'd done, but I had such a good time doing it. 01:07:26.831 --> 01:07:34.239 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I ended up making more and selling them to family and friends, and it was becoming something that was commercially viable. 01:07:35.840 --> 01:07:46.389 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I remember when we got close to making our decisions on what we're going to do for our senior thesis for the sculpture majors. 01:07:47.149 --> 01:07:53.294 [SPEAKER_00]: And I had made the decision of my mind that what I wanted to do is I wanted to do a giant wall of these giant lures. 01:07:53.374 --> 01:08:04.103 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought it would be really neat and I really liked them and I like using color and I like using all the contrast between the steel and the form and the wood and everything about it I liked everything about it. 01:08:04.663 --> 01:08:07.285 [SPEAKER_00]: My art professor didn't thought it was too commercial. 01:08:07.545 --> 01:08:09.826 [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't really going to get me where I wanted to be. 01:08:09.906 --> 01:08:16.850 [SPEAKER_00]: I really was focusing on, I thought if I was going to be a art major, I really needed to get distinction. 01:08:17.170 --> 01:08:24.915 [SPEAKER_00]: Distinction was not only passing, but passing with really great results and like, you know, honors or whatever. 01:08:24.995 --> 01:08:29.958 [SPEAKER_00]: And I really was focused on, I need to prove to my father that I need to do, I need to get distinction. 01:08:30.958 --> 01:08:49.618 [SPEAKER_00]: So by the time I was a junior, I started working for all these metal sculptors and we were doing all the stuff in the summertime where we were using making tweaking bars, you know, we were bending steel cold and we were making tweaking bars and making our own tools and I start to make my own tools and I would bring it back to college and my professor said, what is that? 01:08:50.499 --> 01:09:05.779 [SPEAKER_00]: and it was this tweaking bar and the handle was made at a rebar and there was bed steel and it was like this clearly a tool and we were talking about it and I said you know and he says when the interesting thing is as you make this art because I know it's a tool but I just don't know what it is. 01:09:06.866 --> 01:09:19.575 [SPEAKER_00]: So then for other class, I made another tool that you kind of know it's a tool, but you don't really know what it is, and it's like direction, it's got a direction, and you can tell where the handle is you can tell, but they were like, non-sensical, right? 01:09:19.956 --> 01:09:22.878 [SPEAKER_00]: And he said to me, that's what you should do for your senior thesis. 01:09:23.758 --> 01:09:24.919 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm just like, really? 01:09:24.939 --> 01:09:35.407 [SPEAKER_00]: I really want to do these giant lures, and he was like, no, no, no, if you really want to get a good grade, or you want to get distinction, or you want to meet the deadlines as you, the expectations you have. 01:09:36.077 --> 01:09:40.039 [SPEAKER_00]: You really should do this idea of these tools, these kind of fantastical tools. 01:09:40.900 --> 01:09:41.941 [SPEAKER_00]: Make it okay. 01:09:42.401 --> 01:09:55.189 [SPEAKER_00]: So I made, I made, I have in my shop, I have this, I maybe I'll use, I'm trying to think about what the, I think what I'll do is I'll use this tool that I made that was sculpture, it was a lobster. 01:09:55.509 --> 01:09:57.050 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what you've heard of a monkey wrench? 01:09:57.410 --> 01:09:59.151 [SPEAKER_00]: This is a lobster claw wrench. 01:09:59.672 --> 01:10:01.473 [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't a monkey wrench, this is a lobster wrench. 01:10:02.093 --> 01:10:09.923 [SPEAKER_00]: And the where you would kind of grab something would be the claw and it was crazy and it was totally insane. 01:10:10.523 --> 01:10:11.665 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll use that as that. 01:10:11.705 --> 01:10:13.067 [SPEAKER_00]: That'll be the thumbnail. 01:10:13.087 --> 01:10:17.572 [SPEAKER_00]: If you go to Faternives, if you go to full blast podcast Instagram, that'll be the thumbnail. 01:10:18.513 --> 01:10:45.447 [SPEAKER_00]: So I made this lobster crop, claw wrench and I mean all these different things and so we get to the point where I have plenty of stuff to put up and I had stuff that I was melting lead for weights and I made this little cauldron and that was part of the thing and then I was doing I had like this train spike sickle where there you could I really was focusing on you could the structure of it showed you the direction you were trying to when you looked at these tools 01:10:48.369 --> 01:10:57.595 [SPEAKER_00]: the direction that they were meant to be based on how they looked in, I don't know, I was just like, in my teacher, like, this is great, this is great, this is awesome. 01:10:57.935 --> 01:11:01.558 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm thinking myself, okay, here we go, distinction, here we come. 01:11:02.668 --> 01:11:06.974 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I finally got to the point where we installed our show. 01:11:07.275 --> 01:11:09.818 [SPEAKER_00]: I put all these tools on the wall on this wall. 01:11:09.839 --> 01:11:12.362 [SPEAKER_00]: And there was another one where there was chains involved. 01:11:12.402 --> 01:11:15.006 [SPEAKER_00]: And there was another one where there was the sickle. 01:11:15.847 --> 01:11:17.990 [SPEAKER_00]: And all of a sudden, I hang everything up. 01:11:18.611 --> 01:11:33.561 [SPEAKER_00]: And I made everything at a plaque, and I made these steel plaques, and they would make weld the names of what I, what it was, and then I would grind it down, and then that was the, I had everything, I did everything dialed in. 01:11:35.202 --> 01:11:43.147 [SPEAKER_00]: And when I finally hung everything up, I looked at the show, and I thought, God damn it, this looks like an ass in him show. 01:11:44.005 --> 01:11:54.375 [SPEAKER_00]: It looked like a torture thing, it looked like S&M, it looked just, it looked like it was awful. 01:11:54.855 --> 01:11:56.237 [SPEAKER_00]: I looked at everything and I was like, 01:11:57.470 --> 01:11:59.931 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, this is terrible. 01:12:00.131 --> 01:12:04.712 [SPEAKER_00]: That was the first time I've ever been like totally not being able to see the forest for the trees. 01:12:05.093 --> 01:12:08.814 [SPEAKER_00]: I hung everything up and I'm looking at it on on like the socks. 01:12:09.494 --> 01:12:13.595 [SPEAKER_00]: Like every individual piece was kind of neat, but I didn't envision them on the wall. 01:12:14.416 --> 01:12:15.536 [SPEAKER_00]: It looked like a torture. 01:12:15.636 --> 01:12:17.757 [SPEAKER_00]: It looked like a fucking torture thing. 01:12:17.937 --> 01:12:24.179 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was like, I just totally knew, I was just like, it's just no way I'm gonna get distinction. 01:12:24.299 --> 01:12:24.839 [SPEAKER_00]: This is no way. 01:12:25.579 --> 01:12:34.150 [SPEAKER_00]: And I remember being like, you know, obviously I didn't get distinction and I just think to myself that's the that's the one thing I regret I wish I should have listened to myself. 01:12:34.810 --> 01:12:44.162 [SPEAKER_00]: I had these relationships with these kind of mentors and I thought I'll obviously know better and I just didn't and And that was my biggest regret 01:12:44.462 --> 01:12:57.405 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, my biggest regret was not listening to myself, and it was this idea of like, well, this is my pathway to distinction, and I should have listened to myself, and I should have made this big pile of lures, because at least I didn't get distinction at a sold-em-all. 01:12:57.825 --> 01:13:04.446 [SPEAKER_00]: Those tools went into the garb Bosch, and I have the lobster claw wrench, and I'll use that as the, uh, I have it here. 01:13:04.466 --> 01:13:09.307 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll use that as the thumbnail of Fader Nives on the full-blast podcast, but I don't have a lot of regrets. 01:13:09.347 --> 01:13:12.648 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that I think that you get to the point where even bad experiences 01:13:14.548 --> 01:13:18.030 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that I think I'm getting the hook, ladies and gentlemen, I think I'm getting the hook. 01:13:18.630 --> 01:13:23.312 [SPEAKER_00]: So with that said, God damn it, I can't win. 01:13:23.673 --> 01:13:24.813 [SPEAKER_00]: Seriously, I can't win. 01:13:25.173 --> 01:13:27.795 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's fucking sick, it's not even 8 o'clock. 01:13:28.775 --> 01:13:29.495 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't get me started. 01:13:29.836 --> 01:13:32.017 [SPEAKER_00]: So go to, I'm gonna finish this off like this. 01:13:32.377 --> 01:13:36.679 [SPEAKER_00]: Go to, it's full blast podcast on Instagram. 01:13:37.179 --> 01:13:40.521 [SPEAKER_00]: And we will see you next week, God damn it. 01:13:43.139 --> 01:13:44.184 [UNKNOWN]: Thanks for watching!