WEBVTT

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, well, well, hello, you guys.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the, I don't have podcasts.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's been three weeks since we chatted last on my gosh, it might actually be four weeks.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Holy shit.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I have so much to tell you guys and catch you up on.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's just crazy because the last time we chatted, I was telling you about this really exciting new thing I was about to do and it ended up being a catastrophic life of that for me so how are you I hope you guys are doing amazing happy Friday or whatever day you're listening to this

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[SPEAKER_00]: I am so excited to be back in this chair.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I have not sat here with my makeup done and in a queue outfit in a month So I'm very happy to be back and I missed you guys a lot.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I do have some really exciting news first and foremost shall we give a little announcement

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[SPEAKER_00]: We are going to be doing weekly episodes starting right now.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So today is the beginning of weekly episodes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so happy I told you guys I was going to do it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm a woman of my words.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So we're doing weekly episodes starting today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Another very exciting thing that I want to add to this little announcement is we have the post-it note situation.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully resolved.

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[SPEAKER_00]: My bestie came over and showed me in person.

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[SPEAKER_00]: She actually showed me with three different sticky notes so that I would not make a mistake and I would get it right.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How to rip them off properly so that they stick on the loss.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you so much, Emily, and I appreciate you and hopefully they never fall again.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You guys might notice me taking deep breaths throughout this episode, and it's because it is hard for me to talk for a long period of time.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you didn't know already, I got a breast augmentation.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's been over two weeks now, but I just can't believe I have to tell you guys this story.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's just so crazy to me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I got a breast augmentation a few weeks ago, and I unfortunately had a complication.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I just can't believe it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's like insane to be talking about.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It feels like this isn't real.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But it happened.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I had a complication, which meant that I had to go back in for an emergency surgery three days later.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was literally horrible.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was the worst week ever.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was so traumatized from this experience.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it also just affected my mental health so much because I was on edge and so anxious.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Already getting a boob job, you feel really frustrated during the recovery because you're

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[SPEAKER_00]: dealing with so much discomfort and you can't really do anything like you're immobilized for at least the few first days that you can't even get yourself out of bed.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can't really bathe yourself.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can't really like I couldn't even brush my teeth.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like my boyfriend had to brush my teeth for me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's just so crazy.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but on top of that, getting the complication and like dealing with the severe pain that came with that and having

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[SPEAKER_00]: The surgeon called me and say, like, it sounds like you got a hematoma and you need an emergency surgery and having to go through that was just honestly really traumatizing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm happy to say that after I went in for my second surgery, everything was fine.

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[SPEAKER_00]: My surgeon was actually worried that I was going to get it again because he couldn't figure out like the source.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you don't know.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't really want to tell you guys all the details.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to like gross you out, so I won't tell you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I had a him and tell him that's all I'll say and if you want to know what happened or what that is you can look it up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's really rare, I guess it happens in like one and three percent of people but you can get that complication with any surgery so just so happen that I got this with the surgery so that's super fire, super swag but it did teach me a lot of lessons and I'm hoping that like

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[SPEAKER_00]: All in all, like, a couple more weeks or a couple more months, I'll start to feel like, oh, okay, you know, I'm better now.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm grateful that I did it, but I think I was dealing with a lot of regret because I dealt with so much like physical and mental stress for something cosmetic, like something that I didn't need to get.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I think I was just kind of mad at myself for a little bit.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so all I can say,

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[SPEAKER_00]: about this experience is if you are considering getting a breast augmentation, please do your research and look into this type of complication because I knew about every other complication there is other than this one.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's my fault for not knowing because it may have impacted my decision, but at the end of the day, it's such a rare...

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[SPEAKER_00]: circumstance that maybe it wouldn't have.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I would have felt like it's not gonna happen to me like that's how everyone feels and then you know things can happen to anybody.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So, nonetheless, I'm okay now so much better.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I get to actually take off my compression brawtomorrow and start wearing like my normal clothes again and I can go to the gym again and start walking on the treadmill so things are looking up you guys god bless.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Literally, thank you Jesus.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I had

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[SPEAKER_00]: the hardest last few weeks.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But we're back.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I can hold a mic, which is a really big improvement for me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking, which is a huge improvement.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was literally non-verbal for like four or five days because of the pain that I was in and just the like.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I've never had panic attacks to the level that I was getting them during this experience.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I literally almost called 911 because I thought I was going to die, but I didn't know I was having a panic attack.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I thought like my complication was increasing, because it's obviously like very scary and it is an emergency anyways, it's just literally horrible.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But with the time away that I had I had a lot of time to reflect on things and like I just gained a new perspective on so many things because of this experience and I think what really caused this thought in my brain the thought being knowing when to keep your mouth shut or knowing when to shut the fuck up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: is what we're gonna say and what we're gonna call it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: This was something super prevalent for me over this recovery process because of so many reasons.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But the first one I think what really birthed this idea are like kind of help me come up with this is while this was happening to me, while I was going through this complication,

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[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously my job is social media and my job is to post about my life and share things that are happening and I was really conflicted about whether or not I wanted to talk about what happened to me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I knew for sure I was going to talk about it, but I think I felt this pressure of needing to talk about it as it was happening.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that was something I really struggled with and it was actually adding to the stress that I was going through because I was thinking

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm going through this like really traumatic life event like life experience right now and then on top of it I'm feeling the stress to like need to tell everybody about it while it's happening to me and I ultimately decided not to I decided to wait until everything was much better before I ever talked about it online So I didn't post for an entire week because I didn't want to share

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[SPEAKER_00]: what was going on, yet until it was fixed, until I was better.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then on top of that, I didn't feel comfortable.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't feel right to just post what I was planning on posting.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I had vlogged my entire surgery experience, and I was not about to, I couldn't even look at the videos.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I didn't even want to watch

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[SPEAKER_00]: the vlog that I was creating about getting my surgery done because I was traumatized and I was like why am I going to share my, you know, come with me to go get my boobs done when I literally ended up having a traumatic experience.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So, all in all, I decided to keep my mouth shut and that's what inspired today's episode is like, it is totally, no, I'm not even going to say it's, I was going to say it's totally cool to keep your mouth shut.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like totally,

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[SPEAKER_00]: valid to keep your mouth shut, but it's bigger than that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It is so powerful to know when to keep your mouth shut.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And silence is the most powerful thing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to share with you guys a bunch of examples of this and in ways in my life, and in the lives of others around me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How this has proven to be such an important life lesson that I don't know if I've always been the best at.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think because my job is on social media, I

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[SPEAKER_00]: really like to, yeah, obviously.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I think over the last couple of years, I mean, maybe really this last year, I valued what I choose to share and what I choose not to share.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, there's definitely certain things that I like to keep close to my chest and I think that's really amazing and it's actually very powerful.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and I actually look at others around me that don't do social media or like, aren't very publicly outward with their lives, and I admire it so much.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I actually think the coolest people aren't are like chronically offline.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I so desperately sometimes want to be that person that's chronically offline.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I definitely can be, but, um, sometimes I'm like, how am I going to do that when I need to post all the time?

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I also think I struggle with that feeling and then go a lot of you guys can relate to this too.

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[SPEAKER_00]: when you feel like, okay, I need to post about this thing that I did or like I need to show everybody what I'm doing right now.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't know why we we feel like we need to show people what we're up to and we just don't.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like sometimes you just can shut the fuck up and keep your mouth shut and not say anything or do anything or show anybody.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, that's something I'm really, really, really going to be practicing in my life and to start this all off with my version of it being in relation to social media, I think it's so cool to be somebody that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: is offline just as much as they are online.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So like what I mean by that is I would always feel this pressure.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean I still do because it is my job to post every day.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like that is what my team tells me to do and what I know I should be doing quote-unquote, but there's also a part of me over the course of the last couple of weeks because I literally couldn't post every day where I started to value

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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it's just my dog biting her bone.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I thought someone was walking on the roof or something.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I showed it to value being offline.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that I can experience this with other creators that I enjoy watching, sometimes not hearing from them for a little while, makes you so excited to hear from them again when they come back.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it doesn't mean go ghost and disappear for weeks or months.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just saying,

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to not share every minute of your life and I think that I feel a lot of guilt for not wanting to show every minute of my life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: As a creator, I think I sometimes just kind of get down on myself like, come on, you should be posting.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, we gotta put our makeup on so we can take a selfie.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't...

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[SPEAKER_00]: fuck with that shit anymore like I don't like that energy or that mindset and I just don't want to live by that anymore and honestly like going through this experience kind of shifted my brain a little bit like I'm gonna post when I feel inspired to post things and I want to post things that are a value like if I'm just do posting this just to say that I did what's the point like there's no value in that what is that doing for the people following me like what

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[SPEAKER_00]: But this shows up in so many ways.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to kind of open my phone and give you a few little ideas that I jotted down.

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[SPEAKER_00]: My mom actually was really we're at lunch yesterday.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And she was like, OK, this is what we're going to talk about.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And here's this point.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then here's this point.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And she loves using Chad GBT.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So she was like telling Chad, like, you know, I want to, how do I explain this in like, better words?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And she was just really going on all in.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like she was trying to produce my podcast.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, OK, mom, you should.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Make your own podcast because at this point like you clearly have a lot of what's set Anyways, so the first thing I want to say about this is my mom has been staying with me for the last couple of weeks and My mom and I are very very similar like some it could say and argue that I am Almost a carbon copy of her almost not fully, but in some

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[SPEAKER_00]: a lot of ways we are very similar.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And because of that I think we but heads a lot and actually this was the longest my mom and I have been together in the same vicinity and like fought the least amount because I think I was just in such a vulnerable state that she was really able to just like be my mom and take care of me which was really

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was honestly very healing for me for so many reasons, but nonetheless, we didn't really fight too much this time around.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, of course we definitely got into little fights, and I'm going to give you guys an example of one thing that happened and like I just think that

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[SPEAKER_00]: It really solidifies this idea of silence and how important it is to just shut the fuck up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so I'm staying with us and, you know, obviously I'm not really capable of doing too much.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I become more capable every day, but like the first couple of weeks you guys can't, I mean, even right now I can't reach for glasses above me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I can't get my own towel, I can't grab clothes out of my closet, I can't open packages, I can't open the door, I can't like do most challenging things.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So my mom has been here for the days my boyfriend's working to help me with things I can't walk my dog.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So she's like walking my dog's for me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, we had a little electrical thing happen, actually my vibration plate that I love to use if you follow me on anywhere then you've seen me use my little vibration plate for lymphatic drainage.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It started smoking.

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[SPEAKER_00]: randomly one morning, and I was like, hmm, it's not supposed to do that, and it was like burning like a plastic burning smell.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I kind of got scared, obviously, and I'm like, okay, this is either coming from my electrical in this house or it's the machine malfunctioning, but either way, I just wanted an electrician to come.

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[SPEAKER_00]: take a look and confirm whether or not it was you know like an electrical problem because electrical fires are very serious.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to deal with something like that that terrifies me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: My dogs are here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I go and leave them alone sometimes like whatever.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I put no maintenance requests to get an electrician out here just to say either yeah it looks like there's a problem that may fix it or you're all good to go.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Sounds like

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe the machine had a malfunction, whatever.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I brought the electricity out here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He checked everything out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He's basically saying everything looks good.

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[SPEAKER_00]: There was something else with the electrical, that he was going to fix.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But like outside of that, there was no like cause to believe that there was a danger or like a potential electrical fire hazard or anything.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so he's, you know, communicating to me and I'm communicating back and stuff.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And my mom, she's a very strong personality woman, and she thinks that

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[SPEAKER_00]: She's right about everything which love you mommy, but Sometimes you just gotta let other people do their job, but she I know she had my best interest at heart Right because I'm her daughter and she's concerned, but she jumps in and she's kind of like look I can hear my daughter You know, she's kind of being passive, you know, she's young and blah blah blah, and she's kind of like

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[SPEAKER_00]: belittling me a little bit or like kind of just like what's the we're discrediting me to this person and saying like you know what my daughters too young to know what's going on or whatever like there's seriously a hazard here and you need to really look into it have you checked this have you done this and just kind of started almost like bossing the guy around a little bit and I personally do not

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[SPEAKER_00]: Fuck with that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I do not like talking to people like that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I do not like acting like that And I know my mom wasn't being rude intentionally, but I think sometimes when you kind of like Give that energy like you're kind of like big dicking somebody It is rude like it's not a good quality or a good trade.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's just not nice And you know, I'm just a kinder.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I like to ask people to do things in like a kind of way

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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and so I didn't like that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: She did that when the electricity left.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was very upset.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We were going back and forth and like fighting about it because I was like, you do not like this is my home.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I will handle my situations the way I want to handle them.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I do not need you to call me a child, tell me I'm.

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[SPEAKER_00]: whatever the hell and talk over me or like XYZ.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So we've gotten a like a big bit of a fight over this and my problem is sometimes I don't know when to shut the fuck up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so when my mom and I are fighting and you know there's definitely a point when you are arguing with somebody where you need to stop trying to defend yourself or explain your point it's just pointless like just shut up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I learned this through this experience because my boyfriend kept saying like okay you guys enough like enough enough

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[SPEAKER_00]: shut up shut up we do not need to keep fighting we're going back and forth we're just running in circles just you know she's trying to say she's right i'm trying to say i'm right and just like we are too fiery and like stubborn and

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[SPEAKER_00]: It just was not working out, it was just bad.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And after all of that, I got myself so much more agitated than I needed to be because I was feeding into it, I actually affected myself far more than the situation would have affected me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I made myself more angry, more upset, and it almost ruined my entire day, actually.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't from my boyfriend who

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[SPEAKER_00]: calm me down, give me a big hug and like, you know, got me out of that headspace, I would have let it ruin my whole day.

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[SPEAKER_00]: For sure.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just like, if I just knew when to say, you know what, just forget it or you know what,

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm done talking about this and actually stop and change the channel and get out of the headspace of wanting to fight with somebody.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I would get so much farther and also silence when you were in a fight with somebody or sitting up together, your family member, like whoever a friend, being quiet, does more for you than anywhere that you could ever say.

17:42.535 --> 17:45.997
[SPEAKER_00]: By giving somebody the opportunity to reflect on their own actions,

17:46.477 --> 18:04.646
[SPEAKER_00]: And you can tell them what they did wrong if they clearly don't see it you can guide them and say you know what this is how this is why this is wrong This is how that made me feel Whatever whatever I wouldn't do something like that to you and that's it You don't have to say anything else you don't need to over explain yourself You don't need to try to tell them things from different angles like I am so

18:06.108 --> 18:06.708
[SPEAKER_00]: bad at this.

18:06.989 --> 18:08.490
[SPEAKER_00]: And I cannot wait to be good at it.

18:08.851 --> 18:10.993
[SPEAKER_00]: I always do this when I'm fighting with my boyfriend.

18:11.053 --> 18:19.383
[SPEAKER_00]: If I don't get the reaction or the response that I want from bringing up an issue, which mind you, he definitely could work on his communication style a little bit.

18:19.403 --> 18:23.508
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think that if I'm not given the exact comfort or like,

18:24.673 --> 18:28.555
[SPEAKER_00]: reassurance or whatever that I'm looking for from him when I bring something to his attention.

18:29.335 --> 18:31.236
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't shut the fuck up.

18:31.417 --> 18:32.997
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I want him to understand me.

18:33.438 --> 18:38.640
[SPEAKER_00]: I try to go at it at different angles and try to say it in a different way to like get him to be like, oh, you know what baby you're right.

18:38.660 --> 18:40.061
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I didn't need to do that.

18:40.101 --> 18:41.522
[SPEAKER_00]: I should have said that or whatever.

18:42.662 --> 18:47.865
[SPEAKER_00]: When in his mind it's just like he's saying those things like I am sorry and I didn't need to do that, but it's like

18:48.243 --> 18:49.203
[SPEAKER_00]: the way he says it sometimes.

18:49.243 --> 18:52.004
[SPEAKER_00]: It just doesn't click in my brain.

18:52.044 --> 19:00.007
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I take a lot of accountability and just like self reflection on ways that I can be more effective with my words.

19:00.087 --> 19:03.668
[SPEAKER_00]: And your words are just way more powerful when you use them wisely.

19:03.768 --> 19:08.709
[SPEAKER_00]: And this makes me think of my grandfather, because he is a man of very little words.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, hey girl, everyone say hi to Rue.

19:11.290 --> 19:13.291
[SPEAKER_00]: She don't know what she's actually here for.

19:13.331 --> 19:13.631
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you?

19:14.531 --> 19:16.293
[SPEAKER_00]: an executive producing this episode.

19:16.773 --> 19:19.396
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, this makes me think of my grandfather.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He is a man of few words, but what's so special about him is that he is so respected by every single member of my family and anyone that he's ever come across

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[SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't say much, but when he does, it is so powerful and respected.

19:36.865 --> 19:39.425
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's why, it's because he doesn't say much.

19:39.766 --> 19:47.068
[SPEAKER_00]: So when he does you listen, you know, and I just value that I think it's confidence, I think it's kindness as well.

19:47.108 --> 19:53.670
[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's something powerful about being somebody who is intentional and careful with what they say.

19:53.690 --> 19:59.352
[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, I think that when you allow people to get you angry and get you furious and like,

20:00.053 --> 20:08.060
[SPEAKER_00]: To get to a state of mind where you can be mean or say nasty things or whatever I think that that is giving somebody your power.

20:08.220 --> 20:12.224
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you are just completely saying hey I don't have any self respect.

20:12.244 --> 20:14.606
[SPEAKER_00]: I Really don't have a lot of confidence.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So here you know what you can have all of my power and control and you have like think about that

20:19.471 --> 20:22.332
[SPEAKER_00]: you are giving somebody the ability to make you angry.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That is giving somebody the most expensive price of this emotion.

20:25.694 --> 20:32.716
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the way I've always seen it is anger should be an unreachable emotion for anybody around you.

20:32.736 --> 20:36.098
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you should not be able to get me angry.

20:36.338 --> 20:42.801
[SPEAKER_00]: You should not be able to have access to that much of me that you can get me like that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?

20:44.601 --> 20:44.961
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I'm

20:47.038 --> 20:56.706
[SPEAKER_00]: Nonetheless, I'm trying to say that anger, it should be a unreachable priceless emotion that nobody has access to, that nobody can afford, and it's easier said than done.

20:56.726 --> 21:03.232
[SPEAKER_00]: Like my boyfriend can make me angry, like this, you guys, and my mom, she can make me angry, like this, this is the only two people that can really

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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, get me going in a bad way.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And because of that, I am realizing, I don't want that anymore.

21:11.197 --> 21:15.298
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think anybody should be able to be angry if I need to step away, which most of the time I do.

21:15.358 --> 21:18.998
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's been hard for me to recognize when I need to take a beat.

21:19.458 --> 21:21.379
[SPEAKER_00]: I just think, you know what, no, we're gonna figure this out.

21:21.419 --> 21:23.279
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, we're gonna just get to the bottom right now.

21:23.760 --> 21:30.581
[SPEAKER_00]: No, sometimes you need to take a walk, take a drive, take a second, and collect yourself.

21:34.762 --> 22:01.114
[SPEAKER_00]: spewing out words like left and right you are not in any state of mind to be having a actual productive conversation or get to the bottom of literally anything so okay this is another thing that I wrote down this has to do with my boyfriend and his life situation right now so if you didn't know my boyfriend is pursuing the fire service that is a very, very tough industry to get into it is competitive if you don't

22:01.574 --> 22:20.947
[SPEAKER_00]: have family or friends in the fire service, it can be really hard to get into, but he has been working his little butt off for the last, I think it's been three years since he's been pursuing this fully, maybe even longer, but three years like that he's been taking like big viable action, and then the last two years we've been together, he's been working towards this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, he knows a lot of people who are also working towards this or who have already gotten

22:28.463 --> 22:48.081
[SPEAKER_00]: job offers and are already working firemen and not everybody has your best interest at heart anything that's very important to recognize and I try to tell him these things because he is such a sweet kind guy like he's the type of person who will help you out in any way you need like anybody who's also pursuing this industry he has helped them out.

22:48.478 --> 22:53.945
[SPEAKER_00]: gave, you know, helped them with study materials, gave them advice, and guided them, and things like that.

22:54.786 --> 22:56.287
[SPEAKER_00]: And not everybody does that back.

22:56.468 --> 22:58.490
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, people are just like, what's mine is mine.

22:58.510 --> 23:00.993
[SPEAKER_00]: There's only enough for me that's kind of the mindset that a lot of people have.

23:01.573 --> 23:03.254
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's for any industry, really.

23:03.735 --> 23:08.778
[SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes I find that my boyfriend overshares things.

23:08.858 --> 23:12.841
[SPEAKER_00]: And I really want him to keep things closer to his chest.

23:12.941 --> 23:19.986
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if there is a person or people that have shown you that they don't have your best interest at heart and then they check in on you.

23:20.006 --> 23:21.007
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that happens a lot.

23:21.047 --> 23:22.828
[SPEAKER_00]: We have those secret hate or friends.

23:23.168 --> 23:24.629
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I don't have any of those anymore.

23:25.210 --> 23:27.331
[SPEAKER_00]: But I definitely know what it feels like to have one.

23:27.572 --> 23:30.193
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes those types of people who don't actually

23:31.434 --> 23:37.635
[SPEAKER_00]: Love to check in on you and figure out what you're up to and see if you are winning because they just want to know because they're fans.

23:37.675 --> 23:38.095
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.

23:38.255 --> 23:49.178
[SPEAKER_00]: We can just say what it is And at the end, I'm not saying that's for this particular situation with my boyfriend I'm not going to share too much detail, but I just want to share the lesson of this.

23:49.678 --> 23:55.139
[SPEAKER_00]: If there are people who You know, don't have your best interest at heart, but just want to know what you're up to.

23:55.639 --> 23:59.180
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe for Bad reasons or not for the best intentions.

23:59.300 --> 23:59.680
[SPEAKER_00]: I think

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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to tell them everything.

24:01.981 --> 24:06.484
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to tell everything to actually even people that might have your best interest at heart.

24:06.864 --> 24:09.406
[SPEAKER_00]: You can keep things close to your chest and shut the fuck up.

24:10.587 --> 24:20.873
[SPEAKER_00]: And tell just your closest circle what you're up to if you feel the need to, but even then, like, I think there's something so powerful about working hard in silence and letting your success be the noise.

24:21.113 --> 24:26.557
[SPEAKER_00]: That was actually one of my favorite quotes growing up is work hard in silence that your success be the noise you do not need.

24:26.998 --> 24:28.559
[SPEAKER_00]: to shout your success.

24:28.599 --> 24:50.652
[SPEAKER_00]: I think actually it's the people who are the least successful or like the ones that are the least or the more, well, the ones that are the most insecure that are shouting their success from the rooftops, like really successful people do not feel the need to share their success and verbally tell you how successful they are because you know already, like you can see it, they don't have to say anything.

24:51.092 --> 24:53.813
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you can feel it in there, or you can feel it in there.

24:55.095 --> 24:59.664
[SPEAKER_00]: just by their achievements and their accomplishments, you don't have anything to prove.

25:00.084 --> 25:02.108
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that's what's very important.

25:02.228 --> 25:03.771
[SPEAKER_00]: And also too, I like,

25:04.818 --> 25:08.702
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I really always believed in things like evil eye and stuff like that.

25:08.722 --> 25:10.604
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I really even do right now.

25:10.825 --> 25:15.650
[SPEAKER_00]: But you know, my friends made some good points about something that happened to me recently.

25:16.010 --> 25:21.957
[SPEAKER_00]: So my best friend, first of all, she actually brought it up when I told her that I was going to post about me getting my breast augmentation.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And when I told her I was thinking about posting about it, she was like, well, maybe you maybe want to do it.

25:27.322 --> 25:43.431
[SPEAKER_00]: Like talk about it after you already did it in case of like evil eye and stuff like that like you know Just to be cautious of that type of thing and I was like no, I just don't really think I believe in that I think it's fine and again not saying that I do I don't really know how I feel about that But she did bring that up to me and it was memorable for me.

25:43.451 --> 25:44.372
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember that

25:45.212 --> 26:00.177
[SPEAKER_00]: And then obviously I got this complication and something bad happened to me and then after that, another friend of mine was like, I know this sounds crazy and this might be like me being a spiritual bee, but outside of that, like have you thought about evil eye?

26:00.197 --> 26:01.758
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't know kind of sounds like evil eye.

26:02.058 --> 26:04.579
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, this is the second time somebody's brought this up to me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so after she said that to me, that's when I was like, you know what, I actually have no need to talk about what's going on if me until it's over.

26:11.021 --> 26:12.322
[SPEAKER_00]: Because at the end of the day, like,

26:13.370 --> 26:15.771
[SPEAKER_00]: whether or not it's real or not like that.

26:16.031 --> 26:17.972
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not to any chances you guys.

26:18.432 --> 26:20.193
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's okay to shut the fuck up.

26:20.273 --> 26:26.196
[SPEAKER_00]: And you don't have to tell people about your dreams or about your goals or what you're working towards until, you know, you do that.

26:26.236 --> 26:30.278
[SPEAKER_00]: Like sometimes it's nicer to say, this is what I did instead of this is what I'm doing.

26:30.558 --> 26:31.878
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, just food for thought.

26:32.118 --> 26:38.921
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, there's an important distinction that I want to bring up to that there's a difference of being a silent because you're afraid of something.

26:40.382 --> 26:54.554
[SPEAKER_00]: because of fear or like people pleasing, et cetera, and then silence because of confidence and feeling comfortable and wise and good about like how you feel inside and not feeling the need to make everybody understand you.

26:55.075 --> 26:59.038
[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to make that super clear because silence based out of fear is not what we want.

26:59.438 --> 27:00.179
[SPEAKER_00]: We want to

27:00.881 --> 27:03.444
[SPEAKER_00]: be able to stand up for ourselves and be confrontational.

27:03.484 --> 27:10.413
[SPEAKER_00]: I think being confrontational is the one of the best qualities you can have because why not say what you want.

27:10.433 --> 27:13.076
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know when you get your hair done and then you're like, oh my god, I love it.

27:13.116 --> 27:14.458
[SPEAKER_00]: And you don't actually like it.

27:14.478 --> 27:15.379
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, absolutely not.

27:15.439 --> 27:16.741
[SPEAKER_00]: You're paying for a service.

27:17.982 --> 27:19.103
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and it ain't cheap.

27:19.624 --> 27:20.005
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to,

27:21.063 --> 27:27.028
[SPEAKER_00]: say what you want to say you're going to be honest you're going to tell the truth you're going to say you know what I don't really know if I was what I wanted whatever the help.

27:27.708 --> 27:34.474
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so important to be able to speak up when it's time but oversharing is where things go south.

27:35.575 --> 27:46.584
[SPEAKER_00]: I know somebody in my life that overshares insanely and you know I'm very close to this person and they're part of my family and I tell them you know I think that saying less would

27:51.735 --> 28:04.878
[SPEAKER_00]: it stems from insecurity and this person knows that we talk about it all the time which is why I mentioned it is because when you feel like you need to puff your chest out, sort of speak and just kind of like

28:05.387 --> 28:10.072
[SPEAKER_00]: share your accomplishments or all of your, what's the word, not accomplishments, I guess.

28:10.112 --> 28:15.238
[SPEAKER_00]: But your qualifications, like, oh, I've been doing this for whatever long, however long.

28:15.258 --> 28:21.105
[SPEAKER_00]: I, this, this, the reason why you should trust my opinion or when you overdo it, people can smell it on you.

28:21.165 --> 28:22.747
[SPEAKER_00]: It's insecurity and it wreaks.

28:22.787 --> 28:24.248
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I can't explain it, having,

28:25.310 --> 28:31.414
[SPEAKER_00]: too much to say about yourself in particular, it is so smelly, bro, like it really is.

28:31.834 --> 28:38.619
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, even my mom sometimes, she will talk a lot about me and my success, and I get extremely uncomfortable.

28:38.679 --> 28:51.948
[SPEAKER_00]: I've actually had a teller, like, hey, when we're out in public or you're, you know, for at a bar and we're like meeting somebody or talking to one of her friends, I'm like, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't do that because I don't like talking about myself, I don't like talking about what I do.

28:52.448 --> 28:58.549
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes me very uncomfortable, unless I'm in a professional situation where I need to talk about what I'm doing.

28:58.589 --> 29:03.830
[SPEAKER_00]: That's fine, it's very different, but I do not like to talk about it, especially in the way that my mom talks about it.

29:03.850 --> 29:09.491
[SPEAKER_00]: I think all moms kind of like boast about their kids and they just kind of like, you know how it is.

29:09.931 --> 29:11.792
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, I just don't, I don't like that.

29:11.812 --> 29:12.932
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't make me feel comfortable.

29:12.952 --> 29:15.392
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not interested in people knowing my business.

29:15.432 --> 29:19.593
[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, a lot of times when you tell people about your successes, you can feel when there.

29:21.367 --> 29:22.107
[SPEAKER_00]: not happy about it.

29:22.127 --> 29:23.227
[SPEAKER_00]: You can feel the animosity.

29:23.267 --> 29:35.029
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like it's so strong and I've been in too many situations where I felt that feeling and I just have no interest and I also to be honest, care more about hearing what other people have to say about themselves.

29:35.049 --> 29:36.770
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I love to listen to other people.

29:37.390 --> 29:37.690
[SPEAKER_00]: Love it.

29:37.710 --> 29:40.290
[SPEAKER_00]: It's my favorite thing because I don't really like talking about myself.

29:40.330 --> 29:44.711
[SPEAKER_00]: So when somebody else wants to talk about themselves, I just love to listen to it

29:50.087 --> 29:58.864
[SPEAKER_00]: The majority of everything I wanted to say about this, I think at the end of the day, the closing statement here is no one to shut the fuck up.

29:59.305 --> 30:00.207
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, of course.

30:00.647 --> 30:04.809
[SPEAKER_00]: but also be a person who is intentional with their words.

30:04.889 --> 30:10.852
[SPEAKER_00]: Be somebody who knows when it is time to speak up and know when it's time to be silent.

30:11.412 --> 30:14.353
[SPEAKER_00]: And I really want to adopt this quality.

30:14.393 --> 30:16.594
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it is so powerful and so special.

30:17.195 --> 30:21.217
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm excited to just be more mindful when I'm in arguments because they happen.

30:22.357 --> 30:26.980
[SPEAKER_00]: like remembering this and coming back to this and really just finding my power in that way.

30:27.481 --> 30:37.427
[SPEAKER_00]: Also when I'm in like professional settings, like I don't always need to over say, over Sharmini, I don't already, but just it's a nicer minder that my natural

30:38.707 --> 30:41.848
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess like shyness, not shyness, that's not the right word.

30:42.449 --> 30:54.734
[SPEAKER_00]: My natural instinct to want to only say a few words is a good thing and I always kind of thought maybe it was a bad thing but it's actually a great thing and I can improve that in a lot of other ways in my life because I do love to say too much.

30:55.241 --> 30:56.082
[SPEAKER_00]: and a lot of other ways.

30:56.102 --> 31:07.069
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm excited to make some changes in that regard, and I hope that this inspired you guys, because this was a huge, huge, huge, huge, like a epiphany level idea that came.

31:07.650 --> 31:10.552
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm excited to share it with you guys, and hopefully.

31:11.552 --> 31:12.772
[SPEAKER_00]: He pulled something from this.

31:12.932 --> 31:13.953
[SPEAKER_00]: Also the sticky notes.

31:14.633 --> 31:15.273
[SPEAKER_00]: Have we seen?

31:15.733 --> 31:16.313
[SPEAKER_00]: They look good.

31:16.453 --> 31:17.353
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited about it.

31:17.393 --> 31:19.034
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is back up and running.

31:19.054 --> 31:20.734
[SPEAKER_00]: Not a single one has fallen everyone.

31:21.054 --> 31:23.735
[SPEAKER_00]: Say thank you Emily for the amazing idea.

31:23.795 --> 31:24.335
[SPEAKER_00]: She's the best.

31:24.535 --> 31:25.355
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, you guys.

31:25.475 --> 31:27.776
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for listening to another episode.

31:27.836 --> 31:28.436
[SPEAKER_00]: I've missed you.

31:28.456 --> 31:29.496
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited to be back.

31:29.556 --> 31:31.136
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited for weekly episodes.

31:31.176 --> 31:31.977
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't believe it.

31:32.157 --> 31:33.137
[SPEAKER_00]: So so so excited.

31:33.257 --> 31:36.698
[SPEAKER_00]: If you haven't already, follow the podcast page on Instagram and TikTok.

31:36.758 --> 31:38.118
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the I don't get pod.

31:38.578 --> 31:45.207
[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously and it's always linked down below and with that you guys like I'm seriously so excited Weekly episodes starting today.

31:45.508 --> 31:51.315
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways enough chatting I love you guys very very much and I will see you next Friday 9 a.m. PST