WEBVTT 00:05.838 --> 00:11.200 [SPEAKER_01]: There are parents out there who are interested in sharing their stories, like you have been. 00:11.220 --> 00:15.622 [SPEAKER_01]: I think you need to write about this more in psychology, especially in an academia. 00:16.422 --> 00:26.466 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you're somebody who has gone through the foster system, foster care system, or are currently going through the foster care system, I hope you just really, really like that you're not alone. 00:27.274 --> 00:31.460 [SPEAKER_01]: and you can back out of doing a great job of your resilience, you're amazing. 00:31.680 --> 00:39.311 [SPEAKER_01]: And I sent all the advice to everyone to make sure that your family and public ways postage. 00:39.885 --> 00:44.009 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome y'all to the queer family podcast, the show all about family but with gay. 00:44.349 --> 00:57.260 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your gay host Jamie and this is the show that highlights celebrate uplifts and normalizes legit particular families and all of our fabulous identities and I have a really great one for you today. 00:57.601 --> 00:58.902 [SPEAKER_00]: It's an old friend of mine. 00:58.962 --> 01:00.023 [SPEAKER_00]: His name is Kevin. 01:00.583 --> 01:05.887 [SPEAKER_00]: and he is here to tell us all about his family building journey, which I know nothing about. 01:06.227 --> 01:11.171 [SPEAKER_00]: Funny story about Kevin, Kevin and I used to work together at this really random job, which you're going to hear about. 01:11.531 --> 01:14.573 [SPEAKER_00]: But I hadn't heard from him in like over a decade, I think. 01:14.633 --> 01:16.395 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I'll also send you popped up in the feed. 01:16.775 --> 01:18.616 [SPEAKER_00]: And apparently I popped up in his. 01:18.676 --> 01:21.739 [SPEAKER_00]: And now here we are together at last again. 01:21.879 --> 01:22.719 [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, Kevin. 01:23.280 --> 01:23.900 [SPEAKER_01]: Hi, Jamie. 01:23.920 --> 01:26.022 [SPEAKER_01]: Region ID is finally up for all these years. 01:26.342 --> 01:28.663 [SPEAKER_00]: Reunited and feels so good. 01:28.923 --> 01:35.305 [SPEAKER_00]: Listen, before we get into your elevator pitch, we got to tell, we got to tell the folks at home how we know each other, because it is kind of a crazy wild story. 01:35.665 --> 01:38.726 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if we want to be mysterious about it or just go straight into it. 01:38.806 --> 01:39.766 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go straight into it. 01:40.046 --> 01:42.067 [SPEAKER_00]: Like we had a weird job together. 01:42.387 --> 01:46.368 [SPEAKER_01]: We used to work for a little organization called the New York Police Department. 01:47.409 --> 01:51.030 [SPEAKER_01]: Probably at least 10 to 15 years that are something like that. 01:51.617 --> 02:08.796 [SPEAKER_01]: I was a psychologist trainer in Jamie, you were one of the amazing actor trainers who helped to teach our police recruits and sergeants and emergency services unit about how to work with people who have mental illness. 02:09.176 --> 02:23.871 [SPEAKER_00]: I was one of the actors playing people with mental illness and we would have like a room full of cadets or whoever they officers sometimes and we would basically put on scenes like we'd have two actors putting on a scene and then the 02:24.992 --> 02:25.973 [SPEAKER_00]: Cop teachers. 02:26.193 --> 02:40.409 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying all the wrong words, but the cop teachers would send like four cadets into the scene like raw and be like Deal with them and then like every time the cadets would make a mistake the officer would yell freeze What are you doing? 02:40.549 --> 02:41.289 [SPEAKER_00]: What are you doing? 02:41.590 --> 02:41.850 [SPEAKER_00]: What? 02:42.230 --> 02:44.032 [SPEAKER_00]: Why you all up in her face like? 02:45.992 --> 02:54.354 [SPEAKER_00]: And the whole point was to teach these young officers how to talk to folks with mental illness without putting their hands on them. 02:54.394 --> 02:59.475 [SPEAKER_00]: Like the whole thing was to be learn how to deescalate somebody having an episode. 02:59.855 --> 03:02.276 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a great idea in practice, in theory. 03:02.596 --> 03:07.517 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure our training did that much to keep officers from putting their hands on people. 03:07.597 --> 03:13.198 [SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, yeah, we worked so long with them and then every day in the news, we would see something new. 03:13.998 --> 03:17.721 [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, and so I don't know if it was effective, but again, I thought it was free for what it was. 03:17.781 --> 03:20.243 [SPEAKER_01]: I hope it helped some of them, right? 03:20.304 --> 03:27.950 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I hope that they, yeah, you know, like there is not like every single one was engaged in all these horrible things that were happening. 03:28.050 --> 03:30.392 [SPEAKER_01]: But you know, they're still we're, uh, first level. 03:30.672 --> 03:31.993 [SPEAKER_00]: It turned into like this job. 03:32.073 --> 03:34.996 [SPEAKER_00]: I felt like I was breaking down the macho ice. 03:35.436 --> 03:46.080 [SPEAKER_00]: Like every time there would always be power struggles and the young cops wouldn't want to give in to what I was asking, like, you know, and you are the therapist in the room. 03:46.100 --> 04:02.205 [SPEAKER_00]: So then you would Tom and speak, like from a doctor's point of view about what is happening with this young lady who was having a schizophrenic episode and what's actually happening in her head and actually you can talk to her and all this stuff and I learned so much from you guys, from the doctors. 04:02.605 --> 04:12.528 [SPEAKER_01]: The other piece is like, and you can also not be sexist and this doesn't stick or racist or whatever some of the other dynamics that came out in the room, you know, and so, and that was a whole 04:29.140 --> 04:32.081 [SPEAKER_01]: uh, when they are recruits, I love they say cadets. 04:32.121 --> 04:33.442 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I don't think that's the right word. 04:33.462 --> 04:34.122 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think they're cadets. 04:34.182 --> 04:35.523 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, they're they're recruits. 04:36.203 --> 04:36.844 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 04:36.944 --> 04:37.484 [SPEAKER_00]: They were young. 04:37.504 --> 04:38.504 [SPEAKER_01]: That's how cute. 04:38.624 --> 04:39.465 [SPEAKER_01]: That's how cute. 04:39.585 --> 04:43.406 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, crazy job, crazy that we have that experience together. 04:43.446 --> 04:45.327 [SPEAKER_00]: Not many of us had that experience. 04:45.627 --> 04:48.088 [SPEAKER_01]: And especially of gay people in that space. 04:48.449 --> 04:49.189 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 04:49.749 --> 04:53.911 [SPEAKER_01]: In retrospect, it was like, I mean, I'm obviously like out wherever I am, 04:58.765 --> 05:02.950 [SPEAKER_01]: this masculinity and a lot of a testosterone. 05:03.010 --> 05:12.422 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so much machoness happening and jokes like jokes were thrown around about gave like it was right not the same as they started to cut those down. 05:12.442 --> 05:16.327 [SPEAKER_01]: I think as we were there more right and then each are kind of. 05:16.953 --> 05:24.935 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, got some comes too, but right after us there were a lot of jokes a lot of off-center jokes. 05:25.035 --> 05:37.898 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, what a strange love what so many hats so many hats like for so many years though, I would be walking around the city streets and cops would recognize me, but they call me by my character's name. 05:37.918 --> 05:38.478 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe like money. 05:38.498 --> 05:38.798 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god. 05:38.998 --> 05:40.339 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, Monique. 05:40.379 --> 05:40.839 [SPEAKER_00]: Remember? 05:40.959 --> 05:42.139 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, yes, I remember. 05:42.259 --> 05:43.320 [SPEAKER_00]: I am nothing like Monique. 05:43.380 --> 05:43.980 [SPEAKER_00]: Please don't hurt me. 05:47.136 --> 05:59.746 [SPEAKER_00]: But anyway, okay, all right, so Kevin, we went on an off on a tangent, but this all needed to be said because crazy crazy experience together, we need to know who you are and why you're here talking to the queer fam squad. 05:59.766 --> 06:02.828 [SPEAKER_00]: So without further ado, let's do your 30 second elevator pitch. 06:02.948 --> 06:03.449 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you ready? 06:04.069 --> 06:04.690 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm ready. 06:05.010 --> 06:05.571 [SPEAKER_01]: Get set. 06:06.415 --> 06:07.475 [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want to. 06:07.576 --> 06:08.856 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Dr. Kevin Dahl. 06:09.516 --> 06:19.160 [SPEAKER_01]: I am a father of three children who I adopted alongside with my husband, our oldest is eight years old, the middle is. 06:19.728 --> 06:22.570 [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks, almost, Nick, actually, and the last one is for. 06:22.890 --> 06:29.574 [SPEAKER_01]: And these are all children who come to us through the New York City Foster System on, and who we are able to adopt. 06:29.634 --> 06:42.863 [SPEAKER_01]: And now we have a beautiful loving, yet chaotic home in Harlem, New York, where we're doing our best to raise our kids to the leaders and critical ambassadors for our future generations. 06:43.258 --> 06:43.718 [SPEAKER_00]: I love it. 06:43.758 --> 06:44.679 [SPEAKER_00]: Kevin, amazing. 06:44.719 --> 06:47.261 [SPEAKER_00]: You went slightly over, but I won't fault you for it. 06:47.682 --> 06:51.525 [SPEAKER_00]: I can tell from the background, you've got some kids in the house because there's toys. 06:51.545 --> 06:52.586 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I showed this. 06:52.606 --> 06:54.567 [SPEAKER_01]: It was like the most appropriate background to have. 06:54.607 --> 06:55.928 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't need any professional. 06:55.948 --> 06:57.129 [SPEAKER_01]: We're talking about kids. 06:57.169 --> 06:58.070 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's show the chaos. 06:58.290 --> 06:59.291 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, show the chaos. 06:59.511 --> 07:02.272 [SPEAKER_00]: I am a firm believer in showing the chaos on the on the this. 07:02.692 --> 07:03.793 [SPEAKER_00]: Didn't even know you had kids. 07:04.233 --> 07:06.835 [SPEAKER_00]: Didn't I think I knew you had gotten married. 07:06.875 --> 07:07.715 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like you got married. 07:07.735 --> 07:09.016 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, so the round that time. 07:09.176 --> 07:09.436 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 07:09.576 --> 07:11.337 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but I had no idea you had kids. 07:11.357 --> 07:12.678 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's let's get into it. 07:12.978 --> 07:17.821 [SPEAKER_00]: When did the talk of becoming parents come into the picture and what was the talk? 07:18.261 --> 07:20.162 [SPEAKER_01]: My husband and I, we were married. 07:20.202 --> 07:25.665 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I think even before that, we when we were dating, we talked about whether or not we might have kids. 07:28.422 --> 07:30.964 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, is that something that you would be interested in? 07:31.345 --> 07:42.893 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I think for, for we, it wasn't until that conversation that I realized, like, okay, this is probably something that I want to be with because it wasn't like, I want to around, like, you know, dating people and asking them if they want to fit. 07:42.993 --> 07:48.278 [SPEAKER_01]: But if they came, like, a conversation that happened when you actually wanted, it's been the rest of your life with someone. 07:48.738 --> 07:52.601 [SPEAKER_01]: With that, uh, we got married in 2014, and then maybe you're like, and 07:53.277 --> 07:58.783 [SPEAKER_01]: 2017, my husband said, all right, we're going to start having a conversation. 07:58.823 --> 08:02.526 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think at first I thought maybe it would have taken a long time. 08:02.566 --> 08:03.648 [SPEAKER_01]: Like he was just saying it. 08:03.788 --> 08:06.050 [SPEAKER_01]: And then like I would say, like, oh, yeah, sure. 08:06.090 --> 08:08.632 [SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't, you know, who things would have been. 08:08.993 --> 08:09.874 [SPEAKER_01]: But he's like, okay, great. 08:09.934 --> 08:13.938 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I made this an appointment with the foster care agency. 08:14.558 --> 08:18.260 [SPEAKER_01]: because we had thought about our option and so we have a meeting. 08:18.280 --> 08:26.945 [SPEAKER_01]: It felt like it was just like a week of having he mentioned it to just a little treatment happening at us meeting with the foster agency. 08:27.533 --> 08:37.339 [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, the foster you see that we worked with, it seemed like they were very excited to have us on board and sure in general they are excited to have foster parents on board. 08:37.359 --> 08:50.968 [SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, I think that the idea of having a couple with double income and young and less complicated in terms of just like sometimes people become foster parents out of like, 08:55.228 --> 08:56.569 [SPEAKER_01]: But they were really excited. 08:56.609 --> 09:02.892 [SPEAKER_01]: And so when we met them, they almost immediately said, OK, there's a training that you have to go through on Saturday. 09:03.332 --> 09:04.433 [SPEAKER_01]: So just calm. 09:04.513 --> 09:06.734 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it was very, very, very quick. 09:07.135 --> 09:09.656 [SPEAKER_01]: And so with that process, it took a little while. 09:09.676 --> 09:15.499 [SPEAKER_01]: I think we took these train classes, which is required of New York City understanding New York State as well. 09:16.360 --> 09:20.422 [SPEAKER_01]: And they were on weekends every Saturday or like, pyrus six weeks. 09:21.408 --> 09:24.910 [SPEAKER_01]: And then you do all this stuff to even just get your home certified. 09:25.370 --> 09:34.776 [SPEAKER_01]: And so from there, we took all the classes, so then as I mean, we did all this and be very, very quick, we took a break for a couple of games. 09:35.296 --> 09:44.121 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we traveled the world really for like several months, we went to like Asia, to South America, to Europe. 09:44.301 --> 09:46.522 [SPEAKER_01]: And then we got back, we piled our last 09:49.028 --> 09:50.970 [SPEAKER_01]: all the requirements had our home visit. 09:51.310 --> 09:55.855 [SPEAKER_01]: And then our baby boy came home shortly after that. 09:56.576 --> 09:56.936 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow. 09:56.976 --> 09:57.356 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 09:57.457 --> 09:58.077 [SPEAKER_00]: We're a win. 09:58.257 --> 09:58.678 [SPEAKER_00]: We're a win. 09:58.718 --> 10:01.100 [SPEAKER_00]: And I love that you got to trip around the world in there too. 10:02.163 --> 10:20.351 [SPEAKER_00]: way to cover all the bases, but let's take it back for a second, because I want to know what the conversation was surrounding the choice to do foster care, other than the other routes that we can, like we, you know, the we have all these choices to make when we're two people who don't have one thing and we have two of one thing, right? 10:20.792 --> 10:24.053 [SPEAKER_00]: So what was the conversation around that and how did you come to this decision? 10:24.373 --> 10:26.834 [SPEAKER_01]: And that was something that happened earlier on in 10:31.162 --> 10:44.477 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, as to this queer men, our options are a little bit more limited in terms of like neither of us are going to carry this high also that already takes that out of the running. 10:44.917 --> 10:49.482 [SPEAKER_01]: We had thought about potentially, you know, going a circuit route. 10:50.107 --> 10:54.908 [SPEAKER_01]: But then we really thought about it and we said, for us, why would we want to go that route? 10:54.928 --> 10:58.149 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, we know there are so many kids that are in need of homes. 10:58.229 --> 11:00.529 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it's not a judgment or others that do you go that route? 11:00.769 --> 11:16.853 [SPEAKER_01]: But for us personally, and our commitment especially to New York City, and knowing that there are New York City kids who are living in our very neighborhoods who don't have homes that we wanted to be able to to go that route. 11:19.725 --> 11:22.288 [SPEAKER_01]: We didn't have to condense the other person of that. 11:22.388 --> 11:25.653 [SPEAKER_01]: It was just something that was pretty organic. 11:26.033 --> 11:34.885 [SPEAKER_01]: And so when we finally did have that conversation of making that first step, we had already decided how that was gonna look for us. 11:35.355 --> 11:35.916 [SPEAKER_00]: That's great. 11:36.096 --> 11:38.738 [SPEAKER_00]: That's great that you are just in agreement from the get go. 11:38.959 --> 11:39.940 [SPEAKER_00]: We love it when that happens. 11:39.960 --> 11:43.063 [SPEAKER_00]: Because we're not always completely in agreement for the route. 11:43.083 --> 11:43.943 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to take, right? 11:43.984 --> 11:49.008 [SPEAKER_00]: So, and then your baby boy, you said, came shortly after you finished everything. 11:49.209 --> 11:50.150 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about that. 11:50.330 --> 11:51.291 [SPEAKER_00]: What was that like? 11:51.771 --> 11:51.911 [SPEAKER_00]: And. 11:52.752 --> 11:58.399 [SPEAKER_00]: Also, I would love to know what you were open to because with foster care, don't you have to like check boxes. 11:58.419 --> 12:06.168 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I'm open to this and you don't have to go into like the boxes you checked, but like because you could get a baby or you could get a teenager. 12:06.208 --> 12:08.771 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I go to hear all of this stuff. 12:09.131 --> 12:10.251 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we were open. 12:10.472 --> 12:23.076 [SPEAKER_01]: I think if I remember we set our age limits to smaller children, we said we wanted a baby if that was possible, but we were open to a younger child. 12:23.116 --> 12:26.057 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if the cut off was, but I think maybe like two or three. 12:26.684 --> 12:33.868 [SPEAKER_01]: Another opportunity or a fox is whether you think you would be able to do foster special needs child. 12:34.589 --> 12:38.171 [SPEAKER_01]: We didn't think we have to have to be for that at least far first child. 12:38.231 --> 12:40.392 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we said notes to that. 12:41.082 --> 12:45.386 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's really the only choice foster parent tab, right? 12:45.426 --> 12:50.930 [SPEAKER_01]: Like we there's no like thoughts for what race you might prefer or things like that. 12:50.990 --> 12:55.734 [SPEAKER_01]: And and that really wasn't even like we didn't even care about that, right? 12:55.754 --> 13:01.578 [SPEAKER_01]: Like we knew that whoever we got would be who was meant to be in our family, right? 13:01.719 --> 13:04.321 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's something that's really like important to me. 13:04.341 --> 13:07.123 [SPEAKER_01]: But I think one part of that scary about the foster system, 13:07.626 --> 13:22.237 [SPEAKER_01]: is if that that people don't know who they're going to get versus with, you know, private adoption, there's a little bit more choice, a little bit more knowing of people's backgrounds and histories and so forth, which is great. 13:22.397 --> 13:28.622 [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, practical for a lot of people, but then what happens to the kids that don't have that, right? 13:28.682 --> 13:34.526 [SPEAKER_01]: And those are some of the kids that end up, you know, staying in the hospital system for a long time, end up as we know, 13:35.781 --> 13:40.024 [SPEAKER_01]: the path to the criminal justice system and so forth. 13:40.345 --> 13:51.193 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we just wanted to get home to anyone who needed it and at that moment it was just the worst most interested in a baby. 13:51.745 --> 14:05.934 [SPEAKER_00]: It is a scary path too because if you're going into it with the intent to hopefully maybe when they adopt that could possibly not happen because the goal is always to, I mean, I can never think of the term to. 14:06.054 --> 14:07.055 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. 14:07.075 --> 14:07.515 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. 14:07.535 --> 14:07.975 [SPEAKER_01]: Family. 14:08.076 --> 14:08.416 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 14:09.597 --> 14:10.217 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 14:10.237 --> 14:11.578 [SPEAKER_00]: So that can be hard too. 14:12.093 --> 14:19.476 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so it is a very scary process because you could really bond with the child for a very long time. 14:19.516 --> 14:30.261 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, there are cases where the foster parents had bonded with the child for years and years and years, and the parents, the bioparency, the birth, the game of custody, or the language that 14:40.065 --> 14:43.808 [SPEAKER_01]: their bio-child and that's just how the legal system is. 14:43.908 --> 14:57.797 [SPEAKER_01]: The foster system, I'd always said that once our children were adopted, that I would be stronger advocate for changing, amending, some of these, like, very common sense foster laws. 14:58.397 --> 14:59.478 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I do believe that 15:04.718 --> 15:25.065 [SPEAKER_01]: But like a child who was abandoned by a parent as the her relationship with a parent and they are just continue to be put into this system where the parents railing to serve right that have to be some reforms laws and that's look out at the best for the best interest of the baby right so we had a little bit of that. 15:25.347 --> 15:40.916 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, without going to too many details, but it worked out for us, but I think more people might actually become foster parents or foster to adopt parents as many of my call or stuff because they might know that it won't be stressful or as hard. 15:41.415 --> 15:49.319 [SPEAKER_00]: I've heard some stories, some really sad stories actually of parents who lost the kid because just that. 15:49.639 --> 15:51.400 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so baby comes. 15:51.560 --> 15:52.560 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about it. 15:52.780 --> 15:53.441 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 15:53.741 --> 15:54.801 [SPEAKER_00]: How how did that go? 15:55.361 --> 15:56.822 [SPEAKER_00]: And then how did the next two come? 15:58.323 --> 16:06.827 [SPEAKER_01]: So what was yeah, like amazing is I want to say I'm probably going to get the details while we're wrong in my husband and we'll yell at me later. 16:06.887 --> 16:07.127 [SPEAKER_01]: But 16:08.176 --> 16:35.323 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to say it was something like on a Friday, we got the notification that our home was finally approved, which meant that all the forms have been decided to happen and met with a social worker, interviews, background check, the centers, and we got the notification that it was approved on a Friday and then on a Tuesday at five o'clock. 16:35.975 --> 16:39.298 [SPEAKER_01]: we got a call to be on the baby for you. 16:39.638 --> 16:52.249 [SPEAKER_01]: So in order to do the home visit, you have to have the bare minimum of a crew of a room or a pillow with the dresser, like very minimum, but just like a space for them. 16:52.709 --> 16:54.911 [SPEAKER_01]: But you know, we couldn't get clothes. 16:54.931 --> 16:55.711 [SPEAKER_01]: We couldn't get diapers. 16:55.731 --> 16:58.454 [SPEAKER_01]: We don't know what age child we're going to get. 16:58.634 --> 16:59.294 [SPEAKER_01]: Right? 16:59.475 --> 17:03.198 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we were just completely prepared in that way 17:04.373 --> 17:05.313 [SPEAKER_01]: So we got the call. 17:05.413 --> 17:08.614 [SPEAKER_01]: I was actually at happy hour with him. 17:09.314 --> 17:11.594 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I was like, I got to go. 17:11.774 --> 17:14.055 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I rushed and the happy hour. 17:14.455 --> 17:15.775 [SPEAKER_01]: This will be great for New Yorkers. 17:16.235 --> 17:17.335 [SPEAKER_01]: I was in Chelsea. 17:17.515 --> 17:19.516 [SPEAKER_01]: That's one way to eat for happy hour. 17:19.956 --> 17:22.976 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I run around the corner to buy by baby. 17:23.096 --> 17:24.156 [SPEAKER_01]: Also in Chelsea. 17:24.176 --> 17:24.397 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 17:24.597 --> 17:27.477 [SPEAKER_01]: And I felt like I was on supermarkets sweet. 17:27.757 --> 17:29.857 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I need to talk to her. 17:29.977 --> 17:32.098 [SPEAKER_01]: I have a newborn who we are going to have. 17:33.563 --> 17:44.477 [SPEAKER_01]: The staff that I buy baby, I don't know if I don't know who they are, but they were so helpful and they were, you know, really amazing, really like the sheer spirit of New Yorkers. 17:45.088 --> 17:48.651 [SPEAKER_01]: and they, you need this, you need this, you know about this. 17:48.671 --> 17:50.393 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, what's that? 17:50.453 --> 17:56.418 [SPEAKER_01]: Because as much as I was prepared for as much as I could, like I didn't know like, I didn't know how to swallow. 17:56.438 --> 17:57.819 [SPEAKER_01]: I remember that. 17:57.839 --> 17:58.719 [SPEAKER_01]: Like you have to swallow. 17:58.779 --> 18:00.581 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, okay, I know what to swallow it. 18:00.601 --> 18:01.342 [SPEAKER_01]: But how do I do that? 18:01.742 --> 18:06.606 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you need this one and if this one is the best one and so it became like a whole like thing. 18:06.646 --> 18:08.808 [SPEAKER_01]: And then we, I came rushing home. 18:09.428 --> 18:13.031 [SPEAKER_01]: And then we got a call because they said they were going to bring this out that night. 18:14.322 --> 18:23.866 [SPEAKER_01]: And then we get a call saying like in there, it's actually a little too late to check out or the board is discharged and so we'll come tomorrow morning. 18:24.106 --> 18:26.867 [SPEAKER_01]: So then that was good because at least you had a day. 18:26.967 --> 18:30.468 [SPEAKER_00]: We've got some YouTube videos on how to swattle. 18:30.608 --> 18:32.109 [SPEAKER_01]: How a swattle, exactly. 18:32.949 --> 18:34.770 [SPEAKER_01]: And then so that he came home. 18:35.602 --> 18:43.829 [SPEAKER_01]: that day, and he was a few days old, and we just started before him, and found it immediately, and that. 18:44.009 --> 18:46.712 [SPEAKER_00]: It is crazy how fast that isn't, yeah. 18:46.892 --> 18:48.754 [SPEAKER_00]: The thing that strikes me the most is, 18:49.785 --> 18:51.746 [SPEAKER_00]: That's how much of a need there is here, right? 18:51.906 --> 18:52.846 [SPEAKER_01]: Right, yeah. 18:53.026 --> 18:59.229 [SPEAKER_00]: That's how quickly, like, there was a baby who needed you and there's countless more, I'm sure. 18:59.409 --> 19:04.931 [SPEAKER_00]: Like that is really a sobering thought, actually, that's sad. 19:05.551 --> 19:14.495 [SPEAKER_01]: The other part that I like about that is in addition to what you said is just also like the beauty and the complexity of, of, I'm, like, right moment. 19:15.185 --> 19:19.086 [SPEAKER_01]: because our application was processed on the Friday. 19:19.527 --> 19:21.367 [SPEAKER_01]: He was born on this Saturday. 19:22.067 --> 19:30.930 [SPEAKER_01]: And so if we were off fire day or if he was born a day earlier, this whole thing would have been completely different. 19:31.150 --> 19:39.433 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that's another beautiful thing about adoption in general that especially going around where all these little details 19:45.035 --> 19:46.955 [SPEAKER_01]: be part of your family. 19:47.236 --> 19:47.996 [SPEAKER_00]: That's so sweet. 19:48.316 --> 19:52.357 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so you get your little baby boy you bonded, you learn how to swaddle. 19:52.957 --> 19:57.618 [SPEAKER_01]: Learn how to swaddle, learn how to deal with a lot of things, sleep with knives. 19:57.818 --> 20:02.619 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah lots of sleep with nice and then your your two dads and a baby boy. 20:03.159 --> 20:05.940 [SPEAKER_00]: How did we get to the next two? 20:06.080 --> 20:07.100 [SPEAKER_00]: There's two more. 20:07.460 --> 20:09.280 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you have three children Kevin? 20:11.814 --> 20:38.417 [SPEAKER_01]: The other thing that we have thrown there is to make the story even more interesting is and then the pandemic happened and so we had our baby boy celebrated his second birthday and then three days later we were in lockdown and so while that's happening, you know, we're obviously like, you know, kind of just trying to figure things out new parents while dealing with a pandemic, one of the 20:39.624 --> 20:42.726 [SPEAKER_01]: beautiful things of our situation. 20:43.086 --> 20:54.154 [SPEAKER_01]: And again, without going into so many details, mostly, not because of me not wanting to share as much as, like, I want to make it to be able to share their versions of these stories later on and give them that power. 20:54.574 --> 21:03.580 [SPEAKER_01]: We have our baby boy, and then, oh, I was going to say, beautiful thing was, we were in touch with the fire mom's family. 21:04.288 --> 21:16.195 [SPEAKER_01]: And so her on from the start was very good to us and was very much in the port of us and wanted to be part of our kids's lives. 21:16.335 --> 21:18.296 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and so she had been in touch with us. 21:18.717 --> 21:24.940 [SPEAKER_01]: And she has told us that for me, our kids filed mom was pregnant again. 21:25.581 --> 21:32.525 [SPEAKER_01]: And so they she said, so just want to let you know if you're able to take another, you know, 21:33.148 --> 21:36.229 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, let us know that it's not it's okay. 21:36.289 --> 21:46.493 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we said, okay, maybe part of it was being very tired and like okay time. 21:46.533 --> 22:00.998 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we would have said just anyway, but we said, yes, without even thinking of it because our friends were kind of like that, the baby we had known the baby was developing and was doing well and being just didn't know when the baby was pointing to people of earth. 22:01.712 --> 22:15.416 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, and so on have that informed when the baby was delivered, we had to go through the foster system because of all these other things, um, and so, um, so then baby number two was born. 22:16.136 --> 22:26.499 [SPEAKER_01]: And then just just to make a long story short, that's forward, 15 months later or so, or even less than that, uh, we got another call from the on thing. 22:26.639 --> 22:27.319 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god. 22:27.339 --> 22:28.979 [SPEAKER_01]: He's got pregnant again. 22:29.380 --> 22:29.980 [SPEAKER_01]: And we said, 22:31.410 --> 22:32.010 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's do it. 22:32.771 --> 22:40.054 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's have a bit of a complete perspective of kids are perfect family, you know, two parents, three kids. 22:40.494 --> 22:43.095 [SPEAKER_01]: And so they all have the, they all share the same by a mother. 22:43.115 --> 22:44.036 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow. 22:44.416 --> 22:58.802 [SPEAKER_01]: And with the, all this was adopted first while the other two mother, she was adopted first that process went through shortly after number two was born. 22:59.800 --> 23:01.961 [SPEAKER_01]: And then number two was born. 23:02.502 --> 23:08.886 [SPEAKER_01]: And then because number three came so shortly after were there adoption process happens at the same time. 23:09.406 --> 23:10.066 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow. 23:10.547 --> 23:13.549 [SPEAKER_01]: So so much going on. 23:14.009 --> 23:25.336 [SPEAKER_01]: So stressful, I'm also just the other thing is that when you're going through it, it's so private because you don't necessarily want to tell everybody all the details of what's happening. 23:25.716 --> 23:27.617 [SPEAKER_01]: I definitely don't want to post that on social media, 23:29.305 --> 23:32.128 [SPEAKER_01]: fear that and something wrong is going to happen. 23:32.628 --> 23:34.350 [SPEAKER_01]: And then I'll pop up here in the middle of the pandemic. 23:34.370 --> 23:37.032 [SPEAKER_01]: So we're pretty socially isolated from so many people. 23:37.613 --> 23:42.797 [SPEAKER_01]: We had our babies and that's why a lot of people just didn't even know. 23:42.977 --> 23:49.984 [SPEAKER_01]: We have children because they went from like, oh, we saw you on social media lots to like, now I'm just letting you have three kids. 23:50.447 --> 23:52.588 [SPEAKER_00]: You went in the pandemic and you came out with three kids. 23:52.668 --> 23:53.688 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, exactly. 23:53.788 --> 23:54.328 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what? 23:54.368 --> 23:55.429 [SPEAKER_01]: It depends on me, it's right? 23:55.609 --> 23:58.110 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like, not a pandemic puppy. 23:58.450 --> 24:00.270 [SPEAKER_00]: Three kids, three kids. 24:00.731 --> 24:04.572 [SPEAKER_00]: Are they three boys or three brothers or one boy and two girls? 24:04.792 --> 24:06.012 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, wow. 24:06.072 --> 24:06.332 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 24:06.833 --> 24:07.293 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow. 24:07.733 --> 24:12.475 [SPEAKER_00]: But it's pretty awesome that they they share that tie together as well. 24:12.575 --> 24:15.236 [SPEAKER_00]: Not that not that biology or genetics matter. 24:15.516 --> 24:19.357 [SPEAKER_00]: But it, you know, it's a nice little thread for them to have. 24:19.822 --> 24:20.263 [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly. 24:20.283 --> 24:22.104 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you're still in touch with the aunt? 24:22.625 --> 24:26.728 [SPEAKER_01]: Of course, my aunt has to wait, which was really horrifying for everyone. 24:27.109 --> 24:28.430 [SPEAKER_01]: His spirit's always with us. 24:28.630 --> 24:32.294 [SPEAKER_01]: And we know if I see that everything she could. 24:32.314 --> 24:37.178 [SPEAKER_01]: Again, I think everything was meant to be in terms of how she advocated for us. 24:37.258 --> 24:41.442 [SPEAKER_01]: And she advocated for us all the way up until third child was born. 24:41.462 --> 24:43.504 [SPEAKER_01]: She got to meet our third child. 24:44.074 --> 24:48.377 [SPEAKER_01]: And then I think he was very shortly after that was when the adoption happened. 24:48.417 --> 24:52.879 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's why there's such a special connection with us because her even with the testing. 24:53.199 --> 24:55.721 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're not in touch with anybody else and the family. 24:55.741 --> 24:56.881 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to answer that either. 24:56.901 --> 24:58.402 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to tell me anything. 24:58.622 --> 25:01.184 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're not in our lives. 25:01.204 --> 25:03.025 [SPEAKER_01]: We welcome them, right? 25:03.265 --> 25:04.386 [SPEAKER_01]: Especially by a mom. 25:04.786 --> 25:06.947 [SPEAKER_01]: She had some struggles in life. 25:07.027 --> 25:07.728 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think. 25:09.130 --> 25:15.492 [SPEAKER_01]: I hope she comes to the place where she is able to be part of our kids' life and not opposed to that at all. 25:15.932 --> 25:24.494 [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm such a, this whole experience that made me such a believer in the universe and how things were supposed to happen. 25:24.514 --> 25:33.916 [SPEAKER_01]: And I, I was always a little bit spiritual, but just like the very notion of of timing and things happening exactly how the or supposed to, uh, 25:34.349 --> 25:49.458 [SPEAKER_01]: This has really made me truly believe and like that this was meant to be or that there was a purpose to all of it, even with all this stress and all of the agony and sleep with nights like that, this is how our family was supposed to be born. 25:49.958 --> 25:51.259 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's amazing. 25:51.619 --> 25:58.163 [SPEAKER_00]: And so what's it like, you know, be in two two gay dads of three kids in New York City, got any fun stories. 25:59.103 --> 26:01.645 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's wild because it's like. 26:02.300 --> 26:10.786 [SPEAKER_01]: We don't have as many other gay deaths as we should and are not even just in our lives, but just in general, right? 26:10.826 --> 26:19.073 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, there's certainly queer families, like, you know, at the school for out and so forth, but they're not like lots of queer families. 26:19.373 --> 26:24.577 [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, we have lots of friends who we have made over the years. 26:25.463 --> 26:31.246 [SPEAKER_01]: But like, you know, even though like our circle of friends of like clear men, like none of them are having kids, right? 26:31.266 --> 26:37.869 [SPEAKER_01]: So we end up being like the old ones having kids, which is, you know, like it's fine. 26:37.929 --> 26:40.391 [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone has their own journey, but it can be really isolating. 26:40.831 --> 26:46.314 [SPEAKER_01]: But that's why when we meet other queer families, it becomes like almost like an instant bond. 26:53.596 --> 27:02.200 [SPEAKER_01]: obstacles, pressure, all the things that you have to navigate that we have similar experiences, and then the closer you get to like having similar stories, right? 27:02.220 --> 27:18.748 [SPEAKER_01]: Because we also have our translational adoption and family where our children are black, and so having other families that we know that where they have inspirational families and parents and with the kids, or even other families that went through 27:22.807 --> 27:28.968 [SPEAKER_01]: because it's something that, you know, like our story is so unique, but it really shouldn't be. 27:29.689 --> 27:46.572 [SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, as is like, you know, with any parent needs support, but sometimes it helps to have parents who can understand as closely as possible to the types of things that you had experience. 27:46.939 --> 27:57.163 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's just a case for representation and inclusion and all the things I actually my kids go to school in Chelsea and we do have a good number of gay parents. 27:57.203 --> 28:00.464 [SPEAKER_00]: It's mostly gay moms, but there's some gay dads too. 28:01.184 --> 28:04.946 [SPEAKER_00]: But we're still a minority like, but when I say there's a good amount, there's like. 28:05.626 --> 28:06.827 [SPEAKER_00]: for you know what I mean? 28:06.847 --> 28:07.627 [SPEAKER_01]: Right exactly. 28:08.008 --> 28:15.032 [SPEAKER_00]: But what we did recently, I'm on the PTA, I'm on a branch of the PTA anyway. 28:15.172 --> 28:23.438 [SPEAKER_00]: And our principal actually I think that like some gay dads gave our principal the idea of creating like a group, affinity groups kind of like 28:24.018 --> 28:42.442 [SPEAKER_00]: The principal sent an email saying if you want to be put in contact with other LGBTQ parents or other single parents or other other multi-racial families, give us your email and we'll make that connection happen and it actually worked out really well. 28:42.482 --> 28:46.443 [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of groups actually ended up meeting like we had a gay group, gay parent group. 28:46.463 --> 28:50.224 [SPEAKER_00]: We all went out to a restaurant, it was super fun and it does make a difference. 28:50.284 --> 28:50.944 [SPEAKER_00]: It really does. 28:54.485 --> 28:55.807 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's one of them. 28:55.827 --> 29:00.531 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that's a really great idea that most principles may want to have in the media of the jet cars as well. 29:00.711 --> 29:03.634 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and it doesn't have to be a heavy lift. 29:03.674 --> 29:07.938 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just one email from the principal and then we take it from there, you know. 29:08.018 --> 29:08.198 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 29:08.719 --> 29:08.939 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 29:08.959 --> 29:13.003 [SPEAKER_01]: So getting consent from everyone because you don't want to just be here obligating families. 29:13.303 --> 29:16.144 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like you want to stay up and opt in. 29:16.164 --> 29:25.027 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like neurodivergent families, like all the, you know, the, the ones the where you, you need a bond together and you can really, you grow from each other. 29:25.087 --> 29:27.168 [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, it is, it can be isolating. 29:27.268 --> 29:27.748 [SPEAKER_00]: I hear you. 29:28.088 --> 29:28.548 [SPEAKER_00]: I hear you. 29:28.668 --> 29:28.908 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 29:29.329 --> 29:32.830 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sure you have a beautiful store. 29:32.930 --> 29:39.292 [SPEAKER_00]: Like your kids know their origin story and I'm sure you tell it to them regularly as we all do. 29:39.832 --> 29:40.332 [SPEAKER_00]: Amazing. 29:40.452 --> 29:47.654 [SPEAKER_00]: I had no idea you had kids and now I realize you have three which is awesome and we have to get together in Chelsea at some point. 29:47.834 --> 29:48.514 [SPEAKER_01]: I would love to. 29:49.174 --> 29:49.815 [SPEAKER_00]: With our kids. 29:49.935 --> 29:50.515 [SPEAKER_00]: With our kids. 29:50.915 --> 29:51.775 [SPEAKER_00]: And you have books. 29:52.295 --> 29:55.596 [SPEAKER_00]: Tell us about the books and all the amazing things you're doing in the world. 29:55.716 --> 30:04.098 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean that's interesting because I like all of my professional career is separated from my life as a parent. 30:04.178 --> 30:07.439 [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's funny because when I am making a school 30:08.059 --> 30:11.522 [SPEAKER_01]: I think people just know me as like so-and-so-stad, right? 30:11.542 --> 30:16.946 [SPEAKER_01]: Or one of so-and-so-stad, maybe I am the dad and then my husband is the other dad. 30:16.966 --> 30:19.709 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because you do most of the job-offs in the pickup. 30:19.749 --> 30:21.970 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just because I was scheduling. 30:22.211 --> 30:25.153 [SPEAKER_01]: But anyway, and then even like the other parents, right? 30:25.213 --> 30:28.656 [SPEAKER_01]: You know them as like, oh, that's so-and-so-and-so, and that's so-and-so, right? 30:28.676 --> 30:34.200 [SPEAKER_01]: So like they don't even know anything about me and then every, and then once like we become more friends, 30:36.722 --> 30:43.207 [SPEAKER_01]: They're like, oh, you do a lot of stuff like that too, but it's funny, like how much you could separate all of that, right? 30:43.347 --> 30:48.911 [SPEAKER_01]: Which also I think is great in some ways because because I just get to be a parent. 30:49.371 --> 30:56.156 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have to like be professional all the time or put on like my psychologist had or professor had. 30:57.297 --> 31:05.923 [SPEAKER_01]: So like I think that's something that is a really unique for me and but also like I'm sure the people come really to as well. 31:06.788 --> 31:13.070 [SPEAKER_01]: But I have books, I've been writing psychology books for now, like 15, 15, 20 years. 31:14.050 --> 31:27.893 [SPEAKER_01]: I write mostly about the intersections of social justice and psychology as well as like intersectional identities and so forth and so on in my books or like on queer psychology, microaggressions, built American psychology and American psychology. 31:28.487 --> 31:44.475 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm at the new book right now that I'm writing called the Colonizing Personality and it's on the idea of personality, psychology, focusing on personality through such a white Western, this heteroland that it doesn't allow us to. 31:45.276 --> 31:49.661 [SPEAKER_01]: understand how other influences might impact people's personalities. 31:49.681 --> 31:51.603 [SPEAKER_01]: So you've been going back to our works together. 31:51.904 --> 31:53.866 [SPEAKER_00]: You're making me think of the characters in place. 31:53.946 --> 32:04.399 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, your character is playing borderline personality disorder and how maybe shouldn't be disorder as much as just the view as a simple trauma. 32:05.092 --> 32:09.715 [SPEAKER_01]: These are the people who have or suffer from borderline personality disorder. 32:09.755 --> 32:11.776 [SPEAKER_01]: We're diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. 32:12.336 --> 32:15.458 [SPEAKER_01]: Almost always have some trauma on in their lives. 32:15.518 --> 32:18.479 [SPEAKER_01]: And then this might be how their symptoms might manifest. 32:19.220 --> 32:19.680 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's that. 32:19.720 --> 32:23.122 [SPEAKER_01]: And then I recently published a fiction book. 32:23.222 --> 32:27.804 [SPEAKER_01]: My first fiction is actually queer, erotica. 32:34.813 --> 32:35.514 [SPEAKER_01]: launched it. 32:35.654 --> 32:37.776 [SPEAKER_01]: We can go through pretty well. 32:37.956 --> 32:41.679 [SPEAKER_01]: It's available on exclusively on Barnes and Noble.com. 32:42.199 --> 32:43.941 [SPEAKER_01]: And it is a queer love story. 32:44.621 --> 32:47.944 [SPEAKER_01]: Picture, heated rivalry, meets the New York mix. 32:48.304 --> 32:48.624 [SPEAKER_00]: Ooh! 32:49.225 --> 32:51.647 [SPEAKER_01]: meets fun and love and... 32:52.352 --> 32:55.813 [SPEAKER_01]: a psychology and intersectionality, and that's the book. 32:56.173 --> 32:59.875 [SPEAKER_01]: All right, so I hope that clicks can go out and support as well. 32:59.895 --> 33:00.815 [SPEAKER_00]: Go get that book, y'all. 33:01.015 --> 33:01.856 [SPEAKER_00]: Go get that book. 33:01.876 --> 33:05.317 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's have some clear rautica in our inner bedtime reading. 33:07.631 --> 33:12.496 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't, but not for the kids, not for the don't get it twisted people. 33:13.276 --> 33:14.117 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't get it twisted. 33:14.598 --> 33:15.458 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, that's amazing. 33:15.478 --> 33:18.381 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, go to Barnes and Noble.com y'all and go get what's it called again? 33:18.942 --> 33:20.763 [SPEAKER_01]: Nothing but net of queer love story. 33:21.023 --> 33:24.687 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and there'll be a link to that in the show notes for anybody who'd like to read it. 33:24.887 --> 33:33.795 [SPEAKER_00]: This has been so awesome and such a pleasure and if people want to follow you and all the amazing things you do in the world, where can they find you? 33:34.075 --> 33:40.398 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you can just find me on most social media at at Kevin Mazzal or going to my website at KevinMazzal.com. 33:40.918 --> 33:52.623 [SPEAKER_01]: And I hope that if anything, if there are parents out there who, you know, are interesting sharing their stories, like you have been, I think you need to write about this more in psychology, especially in an academia. 33:53.423 --> 34:02.006 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you're somebody who has gone through the foster system, foster care system, or are currently going through the foster care system, I hope you just really 34:04.295 --> 34:06.556 [SPEAKER_01]: And you, from back there, are doing a great job. 34:06.576 --> 34:08.457 [SPEAKER_01]: You're resilient, you're amazing. 34:08.657 --> 34:16.280 [SPEAKER_01]: And I've sent all the advice to everyone to make sure that your family and other ways positive. 34:16.720 --> 34:17.360 [SPEAKER_00]: It's amazing. 34:17.620 --> 34:18.621 [SPEAKER_00]: It's amazing what you've done. 34:19.381 --> 34:21.262 [SPEAKER_00]: And those kids are lucky to have you. 34:21.362 --> 34:23.643 [SPEAKER_00]: I've never met your husband, but I'm sure they're lucky to have both of you. 34:25.293 --> 34:32.456 [SPEAKER_00]: And right place right time, you said it, like, like the universe is, is interesting, huh, so interesting. 34:32.976 --> 34:33.316 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow. 34:33.676 --> 34:37.397 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad we reconnected Kevin and we're going to meet up in Chelsea. 34:37.417 --> 34:40.658 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a play, a lovely playground in Chelsea that we can all connect. 34:41.059 --> 34:41.399 [SPEAKER_01]: All right. 34:41.439 --> 34:42.999 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's make it work all the time. 34:43.019 --> 34:44.640 [SPEAKER_01]: We will stay away from the cost of. 34:45.031 --> 34:47.172 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, I don't get recognized anymore. 34:47.272 --> 34:48.432 [SPEAKER_00]: Did you ever get recognized? 34:48.932 --> 34:49.553 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I did. 34:49.833 --> 34:51.553 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that I don't get recognized anymore. 34:51.593 --> 34:53.814 [SPEAKER_00]: Everyone said well, I like walk when I walk past a cop. 34:53.854 --> 34:56.675 [SPEAKER_00]: I just slowed down a little just to see if they'll remember me. 34:56.695 --> 34:59.516 [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't get recognized by cops anymore. 34:59.636 --> 35:01.297 [SPEAKER_00]: All right, this has been amazing, Kevin. 35:01.357 --> 35:02.117 [SPEAKER_00]: You're amazing. 35:02.357 --> 35:03.138 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much. 35:03.698 --> 35:04.698 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, thank you for all you do. 35:04.798 --> 35:07.139 [SPEAKER_01]: And then congratulations on all the success of the show. 35:07.259 --> 35:08.099 [SPEAKER_01]: And you do another great work. 35:08.379 --> 35:09.100 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks, Kevin. 35:09.540 --> 35:09.840 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks. 35:13.405 --> 35:17.046 [SPEAKER_00]: Whew, well folks, I hope you enjoyed that episode as much as I enjoyed it. 35:17.426 --> 35:21.868 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you did enjoy it, feel free to listen to another or watch another. 35:22.028 --> 35:25.329 [SPEAKER_00]: I have so many episodes for your listening or viewing pleasure. 35:25.369 --> 35:27.149 [SPEAKER_00]: Just go pick one and enjoy. 35:27.449 --> 35:28.090 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot. 35:28.190 --> 35:28.890 [SPEAKER_00]: They're really good. 35:29.587 --> 35:36.053 [SPEAKER_00]: And also, if you really do like this show, please, I know I say it all the time, but please do consider supporting the show on Patreon. 35:36.413 --> 35:40.357 [SPEAKER_00]: You're just gonna go to patreon.com slash the queer family podcast. 35:40.677 --> 35:44.000 [SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna pick a tear, you're gonna join, and you're gonna get that bonus content. 35:44.381 --> 35:47.964 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're also gonna get my love and adoration for the rest of my life. 35:49.625 --> 35:53.989 [SPEAKER_00]: I love you all, thanks for tuning in, keep on tuning in, and I'll see you next time.