[SPEAKER_00]: Today I'm going to share with you the most expensive sentence people say, and I say it too, and every time I say it, it's because I'm hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to give you that sentence in a minute, but the truth is, I say this sentence, often to myself, now because I'm stuck, but because I'm scared.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just like so many of you are, we're just afraid to admit it, which is why we're hiding in the first place.
[SPEAKER_00]: In this episode, I'm going to walk you through a four-step protocol to stop hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the best part, you can run this in just seven days.
[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't motivational nonsense or find your why.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a process that I've developed because something about my nature is that I will hide.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't love that about myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you experience the same thing, this forced app protocol will break you free of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So what we're gonna cover today, two questions that expose where we're hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're then going to talk about why hiding feels smart, but it's really stealing our lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then we're going to get into the exposure protocol.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the four steps.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I walk you through a seven day challenge that you can use to create the momentum that will get you out of hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a simple reason that this works.
[SPEAKER_00]: Clarity doesn't come from thinking.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can't think our way to a clear mind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Clarity comes from contact with reality.
[SPEAKER_00]: Action creates feedback, feedback creates clarity, clarity creates confidence.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's the confidence that breaks us out of hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to say that again, action creates feedback.
[SPEAKER_00]: You do something.
[SPEAKER_00]: You could stimulus back, did it work, did it not work, did it almost work?
[SPEAKER_00]: It worked out of the work, if it didn't work, why didn't it work?
[SPEAKER_00]: That feedback is what creates the clarity.
[SPEAKER_00]: feedback that we get.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's us know in the real world, the real world of physics, not theory, not emotions, not feelings, and the real world of physics, what happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it is the answer to that what happened that creates the clarity that then creates confidence.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it is confidence that breaks us free of hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, if you're thinking this won't work for me to busy, good, this takes like 10 minutes a day.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is, I don't have a lot of time either.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, and I'm not a big meditator.
[SPEAKER_00]: I get the meditative state oftentimes from physical activities like Pat yoga or going for long rockwalks with no earphones in or even when I'm lifting.
[SPEAKER_00]: So this isn't a big time thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: You may also have the objection, you know, I don't want to look stupid.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's perfect because that's the cost of admission.
[SPEAKER_00]: You reason you're hiding could be who is that you don't want to look stupid.
[SPEAKER_00]: And unfortunately, to give better at things and to gain confidence, we have to be willing to look stupid.
[SPEAKER_00]: You may also say, I need to feel more ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: you're not a child, you're never gonna be ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you haven't figured out, past your teens that you're never gonna be ready for anything meaningful, then that's probably another clear indicator as to why you're hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so here's the plan.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna ask two questions, answer two questions.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna talk about why hiding actually works, but not in a good way.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we're gonna go through the exposure protocol.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the framework that I created to kind of break free of these moments where I find myself hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we're gonna talk about the 70 challenge.
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's do a test.
[SPEAKER_00]: answer these in your head, not performatively, not the posture because I can't hear you.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: And frankly, no one needs to hear your answers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Though you can say them at loud, if you need to, that's fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you're not, you're only answering for yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: So answering any other way than, honestly, and authentically, would be,
[SPEAKER_00]: just doing yourself a disservice and would make this entire exercise a waste of time.
[SPEAKER_00]: So just be honest.
[SPEAKER_00]: Question number one, when you're 80, what is it that you regret?
[SPEAKER_00]: When you're 80, what is it that you will regret not doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is it?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is it that you regret?
[SPEAKER_00]: For me, it would be not going all in on this podcast, would be work-related thing, not taking my speaking career seriously and really stepping up my game and expanding out of the insurance industry, which is where most of my gigs are, even though I love talking to insurance audiences, it would be,
[SPEAKER_00]: Not traveling.
[SPEAKER_00]: I might want to be like a backpack to Europe kind of guy, but I want to see some other places.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been to 43 of the 50 US states, mostly because of speaking gigs, and United States is amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've been to some Caribbean islands, Canada, obviously.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I've never been to Europe.
[SPEAKER_00]: I really want to see Asia.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd love to see parts of the Eastern Europe and China and Japan travel through those different areas.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd love to see Australia.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I don't at least hit some of those places, I think I'd have a lot of regrets.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I wanna spend as much fucking time as I can with my kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: As I just kids are amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's sad that so many people in their 30s now are not having children.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think a lot of it is self-orientation.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the cost of living excuses, bullshit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that there's an entire generation of humans who are just very self-oriented.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we taught them to be self-oriented.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that sort of orientation is the reason that they don't want to have children, not cost of living or whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's very sad.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think many people are gonna miss out on the greatest aspect of being a human being which is having children.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I don't maximize my time with them, then I think I'll have a lot of regrets for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So those are some things I'm gonna work on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Question two, what did I wanna change a year ago that I still want to change today?
[SPEAKER_00]: So question one, when I'm 80, what is it that you're going to regret not doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Question two, what did you want to change a year ago that you still want to change today?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'll tell you, I actually do a very good job with my children.
[SPEAKER_00]: I haven't traveled, but I'm OK with that right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: not pressing harder into my speaking career and not going all in on this podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love doing this podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love sharing the insights that these amazing people that I'm able to get on this show have.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love exposing you guys to new ideas.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so curious about the world.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love bringing all different types of people in from venture capitalist leadership consultants to psychologists, to scientists, like Brian Keating,
[SPEAKER_00]: people that know about economics and the economy, like how wrothed, the psilocybin, you know, therapy experts, like Austin Mow, I mean there's just so many amazing things that go on in our world and we can learn from all these different people, even if you're
[SPEAKER_00]: completely adverse to the idea of ever-taking psychedelic mushrooms or psychedelics in general, you can learn from Austin and his the way he approaches his business and the thoughtfulness that he has and how he creates and experience for the people that do want that experience, I guess, of a psychedelic trip and to experience what he calls medicine.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think in many ways it is, I believe that, but I know probably a lot of you listening, either don't, or just haven't thought enough about it, which is fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I love doing this show, and to be honest with you, it has always been a side hustle, as much as we have north of 200,000 people that listen to this show every month, and I feel so friggin' blessed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I still am not all in on it, and I'm working towards that, because I love doing this show.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love you guys, listen, so for me, I think right now, what would I regret never giving the full college try to my speaking career and my, this podcast, are what I would not regret not doing 80 from years from now and that was something I wanted to do a year ago and still haven't fully done.
[SPEAKER_00]: So what does that mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: And when we take this test, when we answer these two questions, the things that are the same point the way.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the punch line.
[SPEAKER_00]: If any of these, the answers to these two questions are even close.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not confused about what you want.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're hiding from it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And frankly, I have been hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's part of me that says, like, what do you want to be a professional podcast or who's a professional podcast?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or what are you going to be Joe Rogan?
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's the stupid voice in my head.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what it says.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I could do it all day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I could literally do this all day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I could talk to people and interview people all day long.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't extract energy from me.
[SPEAKER_00]: It brings me energy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yet, I hide from it because I'm worried.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know what I'm worried about.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what I'm not is confused, I'm hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I need to be aware of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it is the awareness of the fact that I am hiding that allows this protocol to work.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's why these questions are the first two questions that we ask because if we aren't aware of the fact that we're hiding, if we know exactly what we want and we're not doing it, we're hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not confused.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not that we're not ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: That we're not prepared.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not the right time.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's that we are making a conscious choice to hide.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can camouflage it, we can spice it up, we can call it something else, but we're hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because when people are actually confused, we're actually confused, we explore, we poke at things, we try things, I'm not sure, so let me figure this out, let me twist it, shake it, rattle it, figure out what the hell this thing is.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's not what we do when we're hiding, when we're hiding, we delay.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if there is something that you will regret not doing when you're 80 years old, and you wanted to do that thing a year ago, and you still haven't done it, you are delaying, you are hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that delay has a payoff, that's the problem.
[SPEAKER_00]: Most people think hiding is laziness.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hiding is a strategy because if we don't commit, we don't have to find out if we're actually good at the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And frankly, that's probably why I'm hiding from the podcasting and the speaking is that I think I have some natural skills and ability.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been doing both for more than a decade.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I've done 400 plus keynotes.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if I want to ascend, I have to take my game to another level, and I think there's some part of me that's worried that if I take this thing and stick it in a fifth gear, I'm not going to have the same speed as everyone else, but to great.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's a problem.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because there's no requirement for me to be as good as anyone else.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is only the requirement, and my contract with God, that I work to be the best version of myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: We get to protect the thing, the idea of the thing by hiding, hiding allows us to protect the idea of being a podcaster, of being a speaker, of being an author, of being a great husband, of being a great parent, of being great at golf or bowling or pickleball or whatever the hell we're into.
[SPEAKER_00]: We hide from it because then the idea gets to sit there like this pristine, amazing little thing that we can think about and talk about someday, someday, and never happens, because we're really protecting is our identity, because as long as we're almost doing it, we never have to worry about being judged as to whether or not we're great.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we can keep believing that we're the kind of person that could be great at that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have this little thing because we're almost doing it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, if I went all in, I could be awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fuck that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Potential feels incredible because potential can't be judged.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your potential for something feels incredible because we don't judge potential.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we live in this state of, I'm still figuring it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm waiting for the right time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just need, I just need to be ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I'm ready, I'll go.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's just an addiction.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's an addiction to hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hiding lets me feel special without being seen.
[SPEAKER_00]: When we hide from something, we live in its potential, and we never have to actually be seen doing the thing because we're not going 100% it's a side hustle, a side quest, whatever you want to call it, a hobby.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you just said that that thing, you'd regret not doing it at 80.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was something you told yourself you would do a year ago and you still haven't done it today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's getting in shape.
[SPEAKER_00]: Getting rid of that dad bod beer belly gut that you have, which isn't that you're getting older.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's that you're getting lazier.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're hiding from being in shape because what if you work your ass off and you still don't look as good as you thought you would?
[SPEAKER_00]: See, life doesn't pay out on potential.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the problem.
[SPEAKER_00]: If life paid out on potential, then we would all be rich because we all have this thing that we could potentially be amazing at.
[SPEAKER_00]: But life pays on output.
[SPEAKER_00]: It pays on execution.
[SPEAKER_00]: And output is violent to the ego.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because every bit of pure execution can be judged.
[SPEAKER_00]: output produces receipts and what if God forbid those receipts don't measure up to what we want.
[SPEAKER_00]: God forbid we give a hundred percent of ourselves to something and it doesn't work out the way we thought.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we had.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know that's why I had.
[SPEAKER_00]: So let me just clean this up a
[SPEAKER_00]: If you think anything else, you're either lying to yourself or you've been lied to and you believed it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And in either scenario, you are wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: If we don't choose a direction we drift.
[SPEAKER_00]: If we drift long enough, we end up somewhere we don't want to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the world doesn't punish with lightning and fire and brimstone, that's old school God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Life just punishes what wasted decades.
[SPEAKER_00]: New Testament God just lets you waste decades of your life hiding from the thing that you really want to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we don't need to be nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: We need the passity, the passity to act, the passity to say no to the bullshit that doesn't matter that keeps us from doing the things that do, the passity to be disliked, the passity to be wrong, to miss, to fail in public, and to keep in going anyway.
[SPEAKER_00]: A harmless man isn't a good man.
[SPEAKER_00]: The good man is the monster who knows how to control it.
[SPEAKER_00]: The good man goes out into the arena and gets bloody and be in and beat up and bruised and battered and gets back up and does it again.
[SPEAKER_00]: The harmless man isn't a good man, it's just untested.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, someone once said to me, self control only means something if there's something to control.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're sitting in your comfort zone with no true obligations, no true passion, purpose, you're just going through your nine to five, punching the clock, stamping your TPS reports, sliding them across the desk.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have self-control.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not disciplined.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're just coasting, and it's easy, it's comfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Self-control comes from having a really in-hard goal that most people would never suffer themselves, and then digital, digital, diligently, sticking to the routine that makes that thing a reality.
[SPEAKER_00]: Self-control only means something if there's something to control.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so, I promised you a sentence.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we all say to ourselves, I just need more time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just need more time.
[SPEAKER_00]: If only I had more time.
[SPEAKER_00]: If there was time, I would do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I had time, I don't have time, you don't understand I have kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a full-time job.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't understand.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm married.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have family.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's in your buy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have time.
[SPEAKER_00]: This sentence is caused me more than failure ever did.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's more time, doesn't remove the fear.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't remove the pain.
[SPEAKER_00]: It just makes the fear seem comfortable, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I just, the thing that I'm hiding from, if I, if I only I had time, it's a perfect excuse that everybody will accept.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why it works so well.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because everybody was just there more time.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know how you told yourself, you always wanted to learn the piano.
[SPEAKER_00]: Only if I had more time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or I would be that thoughtful husband, or wife, only I had more time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd love to pick my kids up from school if only I had more time.
[SPEAKER_00]: That business that I fantasized about before I would have bet every night, that'd be great.
[SPEAKER_00]: If only I had more time.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you've been saying that for a year, you're not being careful, you're not being smart.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're being a coward.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's cowardice.
[SPEAKER_00]: Myself included.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I find myself hiding from things, I'm not being smart, careful, a diligent human.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm being a pussy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm being a coward.
[SPEAKER_00]: And being weak, I'm letting the voice in my head, I'm letting the resistance win.
[SPEAKER_00]: So now let's replace that sentence with a better one.
[SPEAKER_00]: What's one rep I can do today?
[SPEAKER_00]: One rep. You wanna start posting on LinkedIn more to build your personal brand, but you don't have time or I post?
[SPEAKER_00]: Just write the hook today, that's it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just write the opening sentence today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just write the opening sentence.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just today, just write the opening sentence.
[SPEAKER_00]: Tomorrow, write the first paragraph.
[SPEAKER_00]: The day after that, a build tension.
[SPEAKER_00]: The day after that, put in your open loop.
[SPEAKER_00]: The day after that, answer the question, solve the problem, provide the value.
[SPEAKER_00]: The day after that, write your CTA.
[SPEAKER_00]: The day after that, go back and edit the whole thing, the day after that, post it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now you got a post?
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, and that's just one post is one more fucking post than you had today.
[SPEAKER_00]: You needed time.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're telling me you can't write one sentence a day to get your post done.
[SPEAKER_00]: to get that, get your brand going, because all you need is one good post, my friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to post every day.
[SPEAKER_00]: One good post, one thoughtful, meaningful post.
[SPEAKER_00]: One post that lets people see into your soul that digitizes the soul of you or your business, that they can connect you, that they can grab onto.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all you need.
[SPEAKER_00]: And do it again.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe after you've done it once, you realize it's not really that hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: and you write your opening hook and your first paragraph and maybe you put your attention in there and your pivot or your open loop depending on what structure you're using and you get halfway done.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now instead of seven days it takes four days and you realize Jesus, maybe not my type.
[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't that hard, now I can do it in two days.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I can do it in one day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I can do it in 25 minutes when I wake up and I'm drinking my corn morning coffee, I can bang out a post that helps push my personal brand out into the world and helps me connect with more peers and prospects and colleagues and establishes credibility.
[SPEAKER_00]: What's one rep you can do today?
[SPEAKER_00]: because that, my friends, is how hiding dies.
[SPEAKER_00]: So this whole episode has been about four steps in order, no free styling.
[SPEAKER_00]: Step number one, name the arena.
[SPEAKER_00]: Where am I hiding?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it your body?
[SPEAKER_00]: Fitness is a money, is it your marriage or business?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it hobby?
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's just a feeling, like discipline.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you just wanna be a more disciplined person.
[SPEAKER_00]: pick one, not five, not two, not thirty seven hundred.
[SPEAKER_00]: One, you get to pick one.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you try to pick more, all you're doing is continuing to hide.
[SPEAKER_00]: Step number two.
[SPEAKER_00]: Choose one daily exposure rep.
[SPEAKER_00]: Exposure isn't a personality trait, it's reps.
[SPEAKER_00]: Pick one rep you can do daily.
[SPEAKER_00]: Make the call that you keep delay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ask for the sale, apply to the job.
[SPEAKER_00]: Have a conversation that you've been avoiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: Share your opinion and stand your ground.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do the hard task first.
[SPEAKER_00]: What's one rep that undeniably
[SPEAKER_00]: the excuse I don't have the time or I need more time can't be used against.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just one rep. Just one.
[SPEAKER_00]: You hate co-calling your salesperson and you hate co-calling.
[SPEAKER_00]: I get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hate co-calling.
[SPEAKER_00]: I developed an entire sales structure.
[SPEAKER_00]: I developed an entire business, road risk, around the idea that I hated co-calling.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I generated a massive amount of leads via YouTube and inbound content marketing and developed an entire sales structure that didn't make it so we didn't have to call call, but let's say, cold calling is part of your business, and you hate cold calling, just make one.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have time to make one cold call.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody has time to make one cold call.
[SPEAKER_00]: Most likely the person's not gonna pick up anyways, but you did it.
[SPEAKER_00]: all that fear, they hang in your body, all the procrastination, all the hiding, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: The phones ringing, your part is going boom, boom, boom, and you make the call in the person picks up, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't pick up whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: You made the call, you have time to make one call.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have time to do one thing, and it's got to be measurable, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: The thing can't be work on my business, is that's not a rep.
[SPEAKER_00]: Send 10 outreach messages.
[SPEAKER_00]: Have the tough conversation by 5 p.m.
[SPEAKER_00]: Train for 30 minutes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Has to be measurable, one thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, step number three, now we add in the stakes.
[SPEAKER_00]: private goals die in private, you gotta share your goals.
[SPEAKER_00]: So add the stakes, tell somebody that won't let you slide in the accountability partner, it can be a best friend, it can be your spouse, it can be a colleague, a mentor, anybody, but the person has to be able to be honest with you and they have to be willing to hold you accountable, all right, schedule a real deadline and then create consequences.
[SPEAKER_00]: No stakes associated to the task means you can quit quietly, make excuses to yourself, negotiate with yourself, and then show up the next day and not do it again, and then you're right back on the treadmill of hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're trying to get you out of hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: So stakes could be something as silly as 20 pushups.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, it could be, if I don't every day that I don't do my rep, I got to come home and in front of my family, right before dinner starts, I got to do 20 pushups so they all can see me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Could be that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Could be, I don't get to have sex with my spouse until I do the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: That could be one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that would surely motivate me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Did you got to have stakes?
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't have to be anything wild.
[SPEAKER_00]: It just has to be something that you don't wanna do.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you can tie it to something fun, like push ups or squats, air squats or jumping jacks or something, that maybe looks makes you look a little silly in front of the people that you're doing it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's getting your body in shape too, well, that's perfectly fine, but there has to be stakes because even if the stakes aren't that dire, the fact that there are stakes will psychologically trigger you to push to do the thing because you will feel
[SPEAKER_00]: sense of shame in yourself when you have to do the thing that when you have to do the stakes, when you don't do the thing, and now you have to, when you don't do the rap, and now you have to yield to the stakes of not doing the rap, even if it's something silly, like 20 pushups, you
[SPEAKER_00]: And the whole time you do the 20 pushups, you're going to be like, what a stupid son of a bitch.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why did I just do the thing?
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to do these stupid pushups.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's motivation did not miss on your rep the next day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I use pushups a lot because I like to be fit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I do enough pushups during the day, or exercise in general, that when I have to do extra pushups, while it's not, you know, 20 pushups isn't like this huge challenge.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, ugh, I don't want to be doing this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, why did I just do the thing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why did I just do the thing?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is wrong with me?
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm like, I'm not doing these stupid pushups tomorrow and it forces me to do the thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, this is the rule.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a rule I have.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ship first, then get clarity.
[SPEAKER_00]: That thing?
[SPEAKER_00]: just go do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do the one rep. Do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to be confident.
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's something meaningful and important to you, you're not going to be confident, but do one rep. You're not good at writing linked in post.
[SPEAKER_00]: Write a hook.
[SPEAKER_00]: Use chatchipiti to help you write a hook.
[SPEAKER_00]: Practice writing hooks.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, do one hook every day for 10 days and before you ever publish a post or wherever work on your second sentence, just work on 10 hooks and see what's when you like the best.
[SPEAKER_00]: You could write 10 hooks and make an entire post out of it where you say like, I want to write more on LinkedIn but I'm kind of uncomfortable writing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I haven't done it before.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's 10 hooks that I wrote for posts that I was thinking about.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which one do you like the best guys?
[SPEAKER_00]: below the up because people would want to come and help you when they'd want to give their opinion and they'd want to get share your their expertise on writing hooks and all the sudden you get all this feedback and now that sense of fear and anxiety that you had about sharing your opinion.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go on because you now know there's all these people there that are willing to help you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ship first, get clarity, ship first, get confidence,
[SPEAKER_00]: If we wait until we're ready, we'll wait forever.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the whole point of this exercise.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're hiding from the things that will meaningfully move our life forward.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because ready is usually just code for, I'm scared.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not being ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just code for, I'm scared.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not being ready is just code for, I'm scared.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not, I'm not ready yet.
[SPEAKER_00]: The situation isn't right.
[SPEAKER_00]: The moon hasn't aligned in the sign of Aquarius and I've been waiting for that before I start this new project or hobby or I actually start paying attention to my partner or, you know, I sit down with my kids and put the phone away and don't just smash my face and my phone all evening because I have so much anxiety because I've been hiding from all the things my entire life that I actually meaningful that would create purpose.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just
[SPEAKER_00]: Smash my phone in my face with a beer at the end of the night so that I don't have to deal with anybody and I can just excuse myself away and waste decades.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's no way to live.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to live that way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fear doesn't disappear from thinking about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Deissappears from reps, from action, from progress.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fear goes away
[SPEAKER_00]: that crushes fear.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the work.
[SPEAKER_00]: The first time I ever went out on stage, I was scared to death.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was the National Young Agents Big Eye event in San Francisco.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think in 2011 or 2012, I can never remember.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was scared to death, and never been on a stage before, ever.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they asked me to speak.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, well, I'm going to say yes to that because that sounds fun scared of death.
[SPEAKER_00]: Today Fear is still there every single time I walk on stage the fear is still there except I have taken so much action towards becoming a better speaker not the elite speaker that I want to be someday, but a much better speaker that I'm able to turn that fear into excitement
[SPEAKER_00]: fear and excitement light up the same neural pathways in our brain, which means whether we're excited about something or we're fearful about that thing is a choice.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a choice.
[SPEAKER_00]: You get to choose.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I'll tell you that choice becomes much easier when you've put in the reps.
[SPEAKER_00]: So here's the seven day stop hiding challenge.
[SPEAKER_00]: Seven day stop hiding challenge.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is how you take the exposure protocol that we just went through the four steps, four steps that we just went through.
[SPEAKER_00]: right name the arena name the thing that you have to that you want you need to stop hiding from choose one daily rep one daily exposure add steaks to it and then get the calf to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the exposure protocol.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, here's a seven day challenge I'm putting front of you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it, don't do it completely up to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, I cannot marry in my way through the interwebs of that you're listening to this podcast on and force you to do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is a choice you have to make.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if there's something you're hiding from and it can be something small, you could be hiding from multiple things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you don't have to pick the biggest thing first, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Work the muscle, work the reps.
[SPEAKER_00]: Pick something small.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I said, like posting on LinkedIn more regularly or doing YouTube videos or just walking in the door, not being an asshole to your family every day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Pick one thing and it doesn't have to be the biggest thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I pick one thing you're hiding from.
[SPEAKER_00]: One rep.
[SPEAKER_00]: Every day, for seven days, hit the arena to find the rap that's day one.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, the arena to do anything day one, just pick what it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: We continue our LinkedIn example.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna post on LinkedIn.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanna post on LinkedIn.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I wanna do.
[SPEAKER_00]: To find one rap, I'm gonna write the hook for a post.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then day two, write the hook.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it, it's right.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's mostly gonna suck.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even if you use chatGBT, unless you know how to properly prompt chatGBT, and if you want to know how to create influence and leverage through AI.
[SPEAKER_00]: and your personal brand, just go to findingpeek.com and subscribe to the paid membership.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have all kinds of prompts in there that will help you refine your voice, create Instagram shorts that dynamically take your ideas, your premises, and turn them into really well crafted things.
[SPEAKER_00]: So go to findingpeek.com, subscribe to newsletter, regardless, it's free.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then if you want some of the deeper stuff, I think it's like 17 bucks a month or something.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: So day number one, we're picking the arena and we're defining what the thing is we're gonna do.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna get really good at writing hooks.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna do that through one hook a day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Day two, we're gonna do it, we're gonna write that hook.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just write one, write one and stop on purpose.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna be like, I was easy, no shit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Day two, or day three, sorry.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not gonna wanna do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna immediately create an excuse, write one more hook.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, that was easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: No shit.
[SPEAKER_00]: A4.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it again.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you feel like at this point, you're like, I've already done two.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to write the second sentence.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't write the second sentence.
[SPEAKER_00]: All that really matters in a most linked impulse is the hook.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, get really good at the hooks.
[SPEAKER_00]: The rest of it will shake itself out.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're working on hooks.
[SPEAKER_00]: They five.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it again.
[SPEAKER_00]: They six.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it again.
[SPEAKER_00]: They seven.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're probably gonna be halfway decent at writing hooks.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you're not going to listen to me about just doing one.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to write a couple and you're going to take those hooks and you're going to put them into Chachi B.T.
[SPEAKER_00]: and you're going to go rank these hooks by virality on LinkedIn for my industry and so your industry and explain your ranking.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me say that again.
[SPEAKER_00]: In this case,
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, write your hooks by the end of this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Jeff 6, they two, three, three, they four, they five, they six, they seven, they have six hooks.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you're gonna take those hooks, and you're gonna put them in chatGBT.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you're gonna ask chatGBT to rank order, those hooks by virality on LinkedIn, for your industry, insert your industry.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then explain the reasoning behind the ranking.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to learn, and I bet what you find is not as bad as you think.
[SPEAKER_00]: Guess what you won't be scared of doing anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: Writing hooks for LinkedIn posts.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's step number one of not hiding.
[SPEAKER_00]: and then that for whatever your thing is.
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's fitness, if it's going to the gym, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanna work on my upper body strength.
[SPEAKER_00]: Awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna have three days a week.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna do upper body exercises at the gym.
[SPEAKER_00]: Awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: go to the gym, maybe you don't have a program the first day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Play around with some different you know, do some dumbbell bench, do some military press, dips, you're going to work on curls, pull ups, like just do it sloppy, it doesn't matter, just do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the next day you're not going to want to go to the gym again.
[SPEAKER_00]: go.
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe you just do push-ups, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Just do push-ups on the floor, upper body strength.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you can't make it to the gym that day.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you're going to feel like you don't have enough time.
[SPEAKER_00]: So just find a place to do, you know, try some extensions on the side of a couch or find a
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, uh, something that you can curl in your house and curling is really easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can, you know, basically, anything you can hold onto with any kind of weight you can do curls with.
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, it's going to look crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then do it again and do it embarrassed and do it when you feel numb and do it when you feel behind.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then all the sudden you'll realize, holy crap, I actually have a little bit of upper body strength and it's only been a week.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your arms are going to hurt your forms.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are going to hurt your shoulders are going to hurt me sore.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be stronger than you were.
[SPEAKER_00]: and you'll have proof to yourself that you can go to the gym.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now you're not hiding, at least not as much as you were before.
[SPEAKER_00]: With detoxing from comfort, that's what we're doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: This protocol detoxes us from comfort, so here's the rub.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hiding is me protecting a version of myself that doesn't exist.
[SPEAKER_00]: The future me, the someday me, the once I'm ready me, that version of me doesn't exist, the future doesn't exist.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not talking quantum theory and all that kind of crap right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I probably does, but it doesn't matter.
[SPEAKER_00]: The purpose of conversation today, we don't build that guy by planning.
[SPEAKER_00]: We build them through exposure, through reps, through action.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't need better personalities.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't need to change who we are, we just need better patterns, patterns of action.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter that you have doubt or fear, but you lack confidence.
[SPEAKER_00]: Take action, action, but get confidence, action, but get confidence, action, action is the answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: The world doesn't reward the most acceptable voice, the most acceptable answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: It rewards the undeniable, the unstoppable, the completely fucking unreasonable.
[SPEAKER_00]: An undeniability, it's built the same way everything else is built.
[SPEAKER_00]: do reps, do action, do exposure.
[SPEAKER_00]: So here's the rub, my friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm done hiding, not because I'm fearless.
[SPEAKER_00]: Trust me, I am riddled with fear and anxiety.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I refuse to let that shit stop me from getting where I wanna be.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm tired of paying the price of not having what I want.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I hope after listening to this, you are too.
[SPEAKER_00]: And use the exposure protocol, use it.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I'll have it in a written form, if you just go to scroll down, wherever you're listening to this, I'll have the link below, click it, I'll have it for free, Google Doc, you can get it, you can see it, you can use it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I promise you, it's just, it's the first push down the hill of the habit of action.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: but the exposure protocol works because it shows you that small little actions give you the same amount of positive reinforcement that trying to wait for some big mega action does.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you feel that fear, just remember, it's a choice.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fear is a choice.
[SPEAKER_00]: The same exact neurons are lit up, whether you're fearful or you're excited, which means it's a choice, it's your choice.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the next time you feel fear,
[SPEAKER_00]: Tell yourself you're just excited.
[SPEAKER_00]: Harness that energy towards your one rep. Make progress, take action.
[SPEAKER_00]: I fucking love you guys for listening to this show.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the way.
[UNKNOWN]: You