WEBVTT 00:02.225 --> 00:05.010 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey friends, welcome back to the Christian parenting podcast. 00:05.090 --> 00:12.844 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host, Steph Therling, and I am so grateful that you're here today because this is one of those conversations that feels timely and tender and deeply needed. 00:12.904 --> 00:20.437 [SPEAKER_01]: Mental health is something that so many families are navigating, whether it's personally with our kids or just with somebody else that we love. 00:20.537 --> 00:24.925 [SPEAKER_01]: And yet, it still feels really confusing, heavy, and sometimes even uncomfortable to talk about. 00:25.158 --> 00:29.943 [SPEAKER_01]: Today's guest, Erin Carey, brings so much wisdom, honesty, and hope into the space. 00:30.604 --> 00:42.296 [SPEAKER_01]: Erin shares her own story of being diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and bipolar disorder at a really young age, and how faith, community, and some practical lifestyle changes played a significant role in her healing journey. 00:42.716 --> 00:52.887 [SPEAKER_01]: So we're going to talk about the power of language and labels, how nutrition and nervous system regulation matter more than we may be realized, and why not every emotional struggle needs to be pathologist. 00:52.867 --> 00:59.659 [SPEAKER_01]: This is really just a conversation to get you thinking about small things you can add into your life to assist you in your mental health journey. 01:00.160 --> 01:07.633 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just a thoughtful, grounded conversation and I think it's going to encourage you, equip you, and reminds you that faith in mental health are not opposing forces. 01:08.054 --> 01:11.179 [SPEAKER_01]: They belong in the same conversation, so let's jump right in. 01:18.280 --> 01:20.585 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Erin, welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 01:20.605 --> 01:21.446 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me. 01:21.707 --> 01:22.949 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm really excited. 01:23.030 --> 01:24.933 [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to talk about important things. 01:24.994 --> 01:29.162 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a mental health, spiritual health, just help kind of in general today. 01:29.623 --> 01:34.733 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's going to be a really fruitful conversation, but before we get going, I want to hear a little bit about you. 01:34.753 --> 01:39.563 [SPEAKER_02]: So why don't you introduce yourself to us about what you do, a little of your story, and tell us about your family too. 01:39.543 --> 01:48.652 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, I love sharing and I'll try to keep it to the condensed version as much as possible because there's a lot of background in my story. 01:48.732 --> 01:57.660 [SPEAKER_00]: I share tidbits in my book and tidbits all over social media, but the thing that I usually start with is that I was diagnosed with three mental health issues. 01:57.740 --> 02:06.208 [SPEAKER_00]: By the time I was 18, I was diagnosed with PTSD, then I was diagnosed with depression, and then I was given the big scary diagnosis of bipolar disorder, which 02:06.188 --> 02:08.612 [SPEAKER_00]: most people use that word as a joke. 02:08.652 --> 02:10.314 [SPEAKER_00]: They use it in reference to the weather. 02:10.354 --> 02:12.958 [SPEAKER_00]: They use it in reference to just crazy mood swings. 02:13.359 --> 02:26.117 [SPEAKER_00]: But by polar disorder right off the bat, I do want to explain that it is what it typically looks like for most people who are diagnosed is there is a period of depression that lasts for maybe weeks, maybe it could be seasonal for some people it depends. 02:26.458 --> 02:31.926 [SPEAKER_00]: And then there's something called hypomania or full blown mania, which is a period of 02:31.906 --> 02:38.559 [SPEAKER_00]: intense activity, rapid speech, grandiose thinking and behaviors not slowing down. 02:38.619 --> 02:47.215 [SPEAKER_00]: It looks like a lot of, for me, it looked like a lot of excitement, a lot of achievement, a lot of going and doing lack of sleep. 02:47.195 --> 02:52.039 [SPEAKER_00]: and it ended up being pretty destructive for me, which is why I eventually got diagnosed. 02:52.059 --> 02:53.240 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's diagnosed a lot more. 02:53.260 --> 03:01.127 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I think that it was, then it was when I was diagnosed, from I was diagnosed, they still called it manic depressive illness, which I was an English major. 03:01.227 --> 03:07.092 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought that sounded really poetic and beautiful, just by my extent, by Polar felt really cold and clinical. 03:07.553 --> 03:10.575 [SPEAKER_00]: And I didn't, and it was really hard for me to make sense of that. 03:10.636 --> 03:13.018 [SPEAKER_00]: I was very angry with my body. 03:13.058 --> 03:16.881 [SPEAKER_00]: I was very angry with my brain, and I was really angry with God. 03:16.861 --> 03:18.064 [SPEAKER_00]: that diagnosis. 03:18.144 --> 03:21.331 [SPEAKER_00]: I had already wrestled with him because of the trauma that I had experienced. 03:21.752 --> 03:24.097 [SPEAKER_00]: I already felt alone and unseen by him. 03:24.157 --> 03:29.710 [SPEAKER_00]: And so when I received my clinical diagnosis, especially the one with bipolar disorder, I was like, well, that's that. 03:30.130 --> 03:31.514 [SPEAKER_00]: That's how my brain works. 03:31.554 --> 03:32.556 [SPEAKER_00]: That's how my body works. 03:32.576 --> 03:35.342 [SPEAKER_00]: They're both broken, so there's no hope for me. 03:35.322 --> 03:52.285 [SPEAKER_00]: and I learned through many years in an unexpected pregnancy and going through a lot more real life difficulties, that through basic lifestyle changes through nutrition, through gut health, through relationships, through 03:52.265 --> 03:59.377 [SPEAKER_00]: positive relationships in my life through routines that my brain and body could start to shift and could start to change. 03:59.698 --> 04:17.007 [SPEAKER_00]: And so while I was given this label, this diagnosis that I thought was life altering and I considered to be a negative prognosis, it in the end ended up helping me to make sense of symptoms, it ended up helping me to make sense of patterns, but I also 04:16.987 --> 04:29.786 [SPEAKER_00]: My negative prognosis in life and that there were many things that I could do to help my body and brain and We are living in a world where I mean gosh, it's like over 25% of people are diagnosed with some kind of a mental illness Now many of them are children. 04:30.127 --> 04:46.251 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that numbers actually higher now That's just the most recent data that I have 50% of people will be labeled with some kind of chronic health concern in their life And so this is we aren't capturing a lot of labels a lot of diagnoses and the thing that I learned about my through my journey is that 04:46.231 --> 04:50.657 [SPEAKER_00]: it doesn't have to be a life sentence, it doesn't have to be something you're going to struggle with for the rest of your life. 04:50.878 --> 04:52.260 [SPEAKER_00]: Life comes with plenty of struggles. 04:52.300 --> 05:13.150 [SPEAKER_00]: There are always going to be ups and downs and seasons that are more difficult than others, but learning to support my nervous system, which I describe as my internal alert system and my body, learning to manage my stress, learning to support my body through the nutrients and food that build my neurotransmitters, learning to support my body through movement practices that help regulate my brain activity, 05:13.130 --> 05:24.265 [SPEAKER_00]: all of those have been crucial for me learning to overcome my illnesses, my diagnoses, and I haven't struggled with symptoms from any of my diagnoses for over 15 years. 05:24.345 --> 05:35.560 [SPEAKER_00]: I joke that my husband is the one who helps me to know because husbands always know they always see, but he is a licensed therapist, and so he has always said since we've been married 16 years, he's like, 05:35.540 --> 05:37.042 [SPEAKER_00]: I've never really seen you manic. 05:37.142 --> 05:38.783 [SPEAKER_00]: I've never really seen you depressed. 05:39.023 --> 05:43.708 [SPEAKER_00]: I struggle with the highs and lows of life like we all do, but it's nothing that is destructive. 05:43.768 --> 05:44.909 [SPEAKER_00]: It's nothing that's clinical. 05:44.949 --> 05:46.451 [SPEAKER_00]: It's nothing that impairs my functioning. 05:47.012 --> 05:50.175 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I share all of that because I do want to give people hope. 05:50.215 --> 05:55.320 [SPEAKER_00]: And so the book that I have comes through my training from functional medicine and integrative nutrition. 05:55.740 --> 06:01.446 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's a holistic approach to helping to support our bodies through scripture absolutely through God's work. 06:01.426 --> 06:16.448 [SPEAKER_00]: But also through science, through what we know about the body and how the body can restore and repair over time, through gut health, through the gut brain connection, through all sorts of tools that are a little bit trendy right now to talk about, but I'm hoping that it does bring people 06:16.428 --> 06:41.490 [SPEAKER_00]: hope that they don't have to live stuck with the limitations of the labels they've been given, but that they can live beyond those labels, whether that is, you know, your child is struggling with a mental health issue, and many of our kids are, or whether it's you yourself, or maybe you're just in a season that you're grieving, you're struggling, you have a special needs child, and that can look a lot like a complex PTSD situation because you're always on alert, your body's always 06:41.470 --> 06:45.939 [SPEAKER_00]: And so there are many tools that we can do, we can use to support our bodies and brains. 06:46.240 --> 06:49.887 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's where I have my book now and my work as a health coach. 06:49.907 --> 07:00.148 [SPEAKER_00]: I work at a counseling center in East Texas and I see clients really from all over the world helping to restore safety in the body and find tools that work for them individually. 07:00.348 --> 07:00.829 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 07:00.809 --> 07:13.384 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, tell me a little bit more about how, because you talked a little bit about how nutrition and food and movement and you've been able to manage so many symptoms by changing your lifestyle and just being aware of what's going on in your body. 07:13.764 --> 07:17.148 [SPEAKER_02]: Tell me a little bit about the role that they have played. 07:17.168 --> 07:18.790 [SPEAKER_02]: You kind of touched on that a little bit. 07:18.810 --> 07:21.594 [SPEAKER_02]: Obviously, you said, you were really angry at God for a while. 07:21.694 --> 07:22.695 [SPEAKER_02]: I totally get that. 07:22.895 --> 07:28.622 [SPEAKER_02]: I can never be involved in that way, like frustrated feeling abandoned, like how can you let me heal this way? 07:28.602 --> 07:31.347 [SPEAKER_02]: but how has your relationship with got changed? 07:31.408 --> 07:34.073 [SPEAKER_02]: How has he helped you through the basics as well? 07:34.253 --> 07:37.139 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it has definitely been a journey for me. 07:37.199 --> 07:48.661 [SPEAKER_00]: I grew up as a preacher's kid and I was a firstborn preacher's kid and so as firstborns are, you know, we tend to be a little bit of overachiebers and wanted things together. 07:48.702 --> 07:49.463 [SPEAKER_00]: I 07:49.443 --> 07:53.468 [SPEAKER_00]: what's functioning in that way for a really long time wanting to appear put together. 07:53.488 --> 07:54.949 [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't pressure that my parents put on me. 07:55.270 --> 07:55.770 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just me. 07:55.870 --> 07:56.731 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just my nature. 07:56.791 --> 08:07.704 [SPEAKER_00]: So growing up in that environment and going living in a small town and a small Christian school, I did feel that my faith was grounding for me at a young age. 08:07.724 --> 08:19.197 [SPEAKER_00]: I did feel that God saw me through some really difficult circumstances through some medical trauma at a very young age, through witnessing the death of my grandpa and my front yard when I was nine years old that 08:19.177 --> 08:28.629 [SPEAKER_00]: left at a very specific nervous system imprint on my body through some traumatic symptoms that I experienced after that, but I did feel grounded in my faith. 08:28.829 --> 08:37.079 [SPEAKER_00]: It was when things got overwhelming and my body stopped feeling safe is when I felt my walls go up between me and God. 08:37.379 --> 08:39.222 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought, well, he can't help many more. 08:39.262 --> 08:40.443 [SPEAKER_00]: This is beyond him. 08:40.483 --> 08:41.364 [SPEAKER_00]: This is beyond. 08:41.705 --> 08:45.910 [SPEAKER_00]: And that was also still, I'll interrupt myself here because that was also still in the days. 08:45.890 --> 08:58.649 [SPEAKER_00]: when we were, I think, over spiritualizing mental health for a time, maybe, and then I, these, and these, I think it still happens sometimes today that we just assume we can all just take our thoughts captive. 08:59.069 --> 09:03.696 [SPEAKER_00]: We can all renew our minds, and that's because the Bible says that we can do it, we can do it. 09:03.676 --> 09:09.806 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that the biblical principles there are true, and I mean, that is the Bible. 09:09.866 --> 09:11.990 [SPEAKER_00]: God's word is the only true thing in this in this world. 09:12.270 --> 09:16.858 [SPEAKER_00]: But when you're struggling with that real physical imbalance, it can be hard to believe that that's true. 09:17.259 --> 09:19.663 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I could preach those words to myself. 09:19.763 --> 09:27.456 [SPEAKER_00]: I could read those verses, but it didn't feel true in my body, because I was stuck in this nervous system dysfunction in this trauma response. 09:27.436 --> 09:29.842 [SPEAKER_00]: of my body not feeling safe. 09:30.202 --> 09:36.898 [SPEAKER_00]: So while mentally and spiritually I could believe that God was there and he was with me, I oftentimes didn't feel it. 09:37.279 --> 09:39.965 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that contributed to those walls being put up. 09:40.085 --> 09:43.453 [SPEAKER_00]: I saw God's grace through the actions of his people. 09:43.433 --> 10:09.576 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's where community plays a really strong role when we're struggling with mental health issues especially is that sometimes we for those was who can't feel that Jesus is in the boat with us in the storm we see it through we feel him through other people and and the experiences that we have with the goodness of others and I know that that hasn't always been everybody's experience and so I want to make sure and and express the reality that that's not always what we get but I have seen. 10:09.556 --> 10:18.909 [SPEAKER_00]: time and time again, through out a lot of different struggles that I've experienced, that it's his people that are showing up when we need the encourage with the most. 10:19.209 --> 10:39.057 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, just to remind, I mean, many reminders there, like when the community, the church community the Christian community is so important, whether you're the one struggling who needs someone, or if you're in a season where you have time and support and emotional energy to give just somebody else who's struggling, like those things are so so important, and then also 10:39.037 --> 10:42.200 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, our darkest moment, our big wake-ups. 10:42.220 --> 10:50.609 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think, as important to your members, parents, too, that you're maybe your kids are going through something really hard, that you're like, I literally cannot believe this is happening. 10:51.129 --> 10:53.291 [SPEAKER_02]: But you just don't know how God's going to use that. 10:53.672 --> 10:56.274 [SPEAKER_02]: And how is just going to redeem so many things? 10:56.514 --> 10:59.658 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's hard to keep in mind with our little human brains. 10:59.878 --> 11:04.502 [SPEAKER_02]: You know, but God's timeline and God's purpose is just so different than ours. 11:04.823 --> 11:08.166 [SPEAKER_02]: And so I just think that's what you're going to mind there. 11:08.602 --> 11:15.691 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, let's talk a little bit about living beyond labels like this concept of labeling and mental health. 11:15.711 --> 11:17.993 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, we're talking about diagnostic labels. 11:18.113 --> 11:19.896 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I think we all carry labels, right? 11:19.916 --> 11:23.380 [SPEAKER_00]: There are lots of labels that we give ourselves perfectionist, over a cheever. 11:23.440 --> 11:27.285 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I named quite a few in my own story, firstborn, those kinds of labels. 11:27.725 --> 11:30.188 [SPEAKER_00]: And those labels help us to make sense. 11:30.168 --> 11:50.978 [SPEAKER_00]: of how we function in the world around us, likewise, the mental health diagnostic labels that are given based on usually a set of symptoms that we've experienced over a period of time are supposed to be helpful for us to make sense of our symptoms, how we're experiencing the world around us, and ultimately those labels are supposed to drive us toward treatment that's going to help us get better. 11:50.958 --> 11:53.863 [SPEAKER_00]: and I think for a lot of people that can be the case and that can be true. 11:54.303 --> 12:08.646 [SPEAKER_00]: And eventually what can be really difficult in this is what happened for me is that label that we're given to help us make sense of the world can become our identity and that identity becomes to crowd out the identity that we're given in Christ. 12:08.626 --> 12:24.998 [SPEAKER_00]: and the identity that we're given that's supposed to be helped for us to know how to live out our purpose, but how do I know how to live out my purpose when my purpose is being filtered through this lens of my broken brain, through this lens of my anxiety, through this lens of I have these symptoms that I don't know what to do with. 12:24.978 --> 12:27.881 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's where it can become stressful. 12:28.042 --> 12:38.574 [SPEAKER_00]: It becomes an identity statement by the nature of how it is described in many situations for many people, whom we live with that, that tells the body that this is stressful. 12:38.774 --> 12:47.984 [SPEAKER_00]: And if the body perceives that there's a threat happening at the brain level, the body is going to prepare by altering internal systems to protect us. 12:48.044 --> 12:48.505 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 12:48.485 --> 12:49.989 [SPEAKER_02]: How do we navigate this? 12:50.249 --> 12:52.434 [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, with ourselves, but specifically with our kids. 12:52.534 --> 12:58.067 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, we have a daughter who has anxiety, and we've done a lot with her to help me manage it. 12:58.168 --> 12:59.751 [SPEAKER_02]: She is non-medication. 12:59.972 --> 13:00.874 [SPEAKER_02]: She's like proud of that. 13:00.894 --> 13:02.498 [SPEAKER_02]: She will tell people, like, there is no shame. 13:02.658 --> 13:03.540 [SPEAKER_02]: And I... 13:03.520 --> 13:04.582 [SPEAKER_02]: love that border. 13:04.802 --> 13:15.061 [SPEAKER_02]: We talk a lot about how this isn't necessarily forever, and this is one tool that we're going to help you to, you know, like work through this right now, but this isn't who you are, like, this isn't your main thing. 13:15.081 --> 13:27.604 [SPEAKER_02]: We try really hard, but I think it's hard to balance, like, this is something that's really real in your life, and that you're struggling with right now, and here are some tools versus how do we keep from that being and identity. 13:27.584 --> 13:31.869 [SPEAKER_02]: you know, I think it's really hard with kids because there's so much going on in their little brains that they don't know. 13:32.049 --> 13:44.163 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think that because I have I have three kids I didn't even share that earlier, but one of the things I think with kids and adults, I think all of us need to understand is the protective nature of anxiety. 13:44.303 --> 13:50.110 [SPEAKER_00]: Anxiety is an internal alert that the body is giving us when there is something not right in the world. 13:50.611 --> 13:52.613 [SPEAKER_00]: Anxiety stems from 13:52.593 --> 13:59.459 [SPEAKER_00]: a God-designed system called the HPA-axis, the HPA-axis stands for hyposolamic pituitary adrenal. 13:59.820 --> 14:02.963 [SPEAKER_00]: So if the body, brain, believes that there is a threat. 14:03.323 --> 14:05.245 [SPEAKER_00]: Real or perceived, it doesn't matter. 14:05.685 --> 14:14.573 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter if there's a literal tiger running through my window right now, or if there's another email that I have to respond to because I forgot to respond to the first email. 14:14.654 --> 14:16.475 [SPEAKER_00]: My body goes on alert, right? 14:16.695 --> 14:19.478 [SPEAKER_00]: Both of those can be threats depending on the day. 14:19.458 --> 14:25.889 [SPEAKER_00]: problem is, in our world, we are under attack all the time with real and perceived threats. 14:26.350 --> 14:38.350 [SPEAKER_00]: And our kids, for sure, they're not just the emotional stressors, we have a lot of internal stressors that our kids are facing through nutrient-poor foods that are not giving them the nutrients that make their neurotransmitters. 14:38.370 --> 14:40.454 [SPEAKER_00]: We will not make serotonin without B vitamins. 14:40.474 --> 14:43.980 [SPEAKER_00]: We will not make serotonin without amino acids from protein. 14:43.960 --> 14:45.722 [SPEAKER_00]: and so there's a deficiency. 14:46.243 --> 14:48.766 [SPEAKER_00]: And then that puts the body in more of a threat state. 14:49.086 --> 14:54.292 [SPEAKER_00]: So anxiety is a protective response from the body when there is something that's not right. 14:54.593 --> 15:01.221 [SPEAKER_00]: I love sharing that with one of my kids in particular is a little bit more hyper-vigilent, a little more hyper-sensitive than the others. 15:01.661 --> 15:06.407 [SPEAKER_00]: And like, hey, how is your body feeling right now when you're feeling all worked up? 15:06.387 --> 15:08.289 [SPEAKER_00]: What are the things that your body is telling you? 15:08.790 --> 15:11.854 [SPEAKER_00]: And I love when he describes it to me because he's little. 15:11.934 --> 15:14.657 [SPEAKER_00]: He's nine, but he knows how his body is feeling. 15:14.918 --> 15:16.760 [SPEAKER_00]: Kids know how their body is feeling. 15:16.980 --> 15:18.662 [SPEAKER_00]: They don't always recognize it at the brain level. 15:18.702 --> 15:21.606 [SPEAKER_00]: They're not going to call it anxiety, but they're going to have stomach aches. 15:21.626 --> 15:22.647 [SPEAKER_00]: They're going to have headaches. 15:22.808 --> 15:24.069 [SPEAKER_00]: They might feel a little shaky. 15:24.510 --> 15:26.232 [SPEAKER_00]: They might feel buzzing. 15:26.272 --> 15:27.453 [SPEAKER_00]: They might not describe it that way. 15:27.473 --> 15:32.800 [SPEAKER_00]: But there's lots of sensations that the body will give kids when they're feeling anxious. 15:32.780 --> 15:46.132 [SPEAKER_00]: And unfortunately, as parents, you know, we're so quick to, if there's a physical symptom, like, oh, they're getting sick or, no, they just have digestive issues or whatever it is, when really it might be, hey, the body is alerting them to the distress somewhere. 15:46.332 --> 15:48.634 [SPEAKER_00]: So what can we do to calm down those alerts? 15:48.774 --> 15:58.643 [SPEAKER_00]: And so there's lots of, I mean, I'm sure you have worked on so many through with with what you've experienced, but just basic nervous system regulation tools can be so helpful. 15:59.044 --> 16:02.787 [SPEAKER_00]: And the one of the coolest gifts that God has given us as 16:02.767 --> 16:07.093 [SPEAKER_00]: is the ability to be able to co-regulate our nervous systems. 16:07.534 --> 16:22.395 [SPEAKER_00]: If I'm in a stressed out state, it's just going to bring more stress to my child, because of mirror neurons, because of the fact that the body, my children's bodies are so in tune with mine, just by nature of being their mom, by nature of being around them all the time. 16:22.375 --> 16:24.319 [SPEAKER_00]: that when I'm stressed, they're going to pick up on my stress. 16:24.339 --> 16:26.422 [SPEAKER_00]: When they're stressed, I'm going to pick up on their stress. 16:26.863 --> 16:38.224 [SPEAKER_00]: So as parents, we can help teach co-regulation tools just by nearness, by proximity, by physical touch, can be huge, by helping just 16:38.204 --> 16:56.801 [SPEAKER_00]: padding on the back, you know, is a really supportive tool or touching the top of the head, dropping the hair, you know, there are things like that that we can do that offer comfort that we just do innately as a parent doing it because, well, this is a scientific, this is going to increase oxytocin and we're not doing it because that we're doing that because God designed us to know how to support our kids. 16:57.161 --> 16:59.363 [SPEAKER_00]: And so tuning into that is huge. 16:59.503 --> 17:03.427 [SPEAKER_00]: But I think teaching kids at their anxiety doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with them. 17:03.447 --> 17:08.211 [SPEAKER_00]: It means that their body is 17:08.191 --> 17:14.579 [SPEAKER_00]: I talked about renewing the mind with God's word, but Hebrews 416, 412, oh boy, I think it's 412. 17:15.100 --> 17:36.747 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm talks about God's word, being alive and active and able to pierce through the joints and the marrow and the soul and the spirit, and I think that there is something so powerful about that, that even when we feel like our body is stuck, that speaking God's word and breathing that truth in for our children and for us can be a really powerful tool for regulation as well. 17:36.727 --> 17:50.702 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's just so interesting how all those things intersect, like nutrition, spirituality, actual like mental issues that are going on with the brain, all intersects and it's just, it's really, it's crazy to think about how they all play with each other. 17:51.037 --> 18:03.663 [SPEAKER_02]: kind of curious with your background, with your experience, with your career in your own parenting, like how would you recommend that we talk about all of this with like friends and loved ones if you have different views or approaches? 18:03.743 --> 18:08.353 [SPEAKER_02]: Because again, like I have struggled with anxiety on and off. 18:08.333 --> 18:35.202 [SPEAKER_02]: through my life my daughter does now like we've decided to go to medication around I have friends who are trying everything and anything to avoid medication there's not really a right or wrong for every person because every situation is different but it can be really tense and I feel like the conversation is actually getting more intense yeah better which is interesting because I don't know I just feel like it people have big opinion big opinions how do you talk about it 18:35.182 --> 18:50.203 [SPEAKER_00]: the problem, I mean, this is probably a different conversation, but the problem lies in the fact that we've really lost the ability to communicate with other people about differences of opinions because we live in a social media world where we don't have to look at other opinions ever. 18:50.183 --> 18:54.712 [SPEAKER_00]: We can filter out, and the algorithm is designed to show us only what we want to see, right? 18:54.732 --> 18:56.155 [SPEAKER_00]: Because that's going to give us the dopamine hit. 18:56.175 --> 19:07.538 [SPEAKER_00]: That's going to keep us on our phones and scrolling through social media and depending on where you get your new sources, where you get your information, while your algorithm is showing you, you likely believe that there's one right way to do things. 19:07.839 --> 19:10.825 [SPEAKER_00]: So we've lost some nuance, we've lost the ability to have 19:10.805 --> 19:34.568 [SPEAKER_00]: conversations like what you just said that can be individualized where there are there's not just one right way there are many different ways to support anxiety there are many different ways to support depression and unfortunately just the concept of mental health has been polarized there is the holistic way and there is the traditional or conventional way is probably the better way is the western way. 19:34.548 --> 19:35.249 [SPEAKER_00]: to do it. 19:35.409 --> 19:45.298 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, gosh, mental health isn't designed to be boxed up and put in a battle between natural sources or pharmaceutical interventions. 19:45.478 --> 19:49.342 [SPEAKER_00]: It really is something that is individual to the person. 19:49.362 --> 19:58.491 [SPEAKER_00]: And so if we are experiencing a mental health issue in our family and it's personal to us and we've seen how difficult it is. 19:58.871 --> 20:00.893 [SPEAKER_00]: And especially, I mean, like if you have, 20:00.873 --> 20:02.677 [SPEAKER_00]: This might be personal to some people. 20:02.717 --> 20:04.461 [SPEAKER_00]: I know it's personal in my world. 20:04.481 --> 20:07.768 [SPEAKER_00]: If you have a child who has ADHD and has ADHD rage, right? 20:07.828 --> 20:08.890 [SPEAKER_00]: That is a real thing. 20:09.071 --> 20:09.732 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a struggle. 20:10.113 --> 20:11.656 [SPEAKER_00]: You can feel completely helpless. 20:11.696 --> 20:14.422 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really hard for you to take in their information. 20:14.503 --> 20:17.970 [SPEAKER_00]: While also managing your own stress and what that is. 20:17.950 --> 20:19.412 [SPEAKER_00]: information is caused for you. 20:19.832 --> 20:21.894 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it creates a disconnect between people. 20:21.934 --> 20:26.199 [SPEAKER_00]: And so whether it's the person who's offering advice because yep, they're coming from their own stressed out lens. 20:27.100 --> 20:37.511 [SPEAKER_00]: Or you yourself, you've been going through so much stress, it becomes really hard to have open conversations that are empathetic, that are helpful, and that offer hope. 20:37.691 --> 20:44.599 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's where keeping an open mind and really learning to regulate your own 20:44.579 --> 20:54.305 [SPEAKER_00]: help support your own stressors and knowing how you react in different situations, helps you to know when to step back and go, okay, they're saying that out of their own stressed outlands. 20:54.686 --> 20:56.692 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying this out of my own stressed outlands. 20:56.912 --> 21:00.462 [SPEAKER_00]: Therefore, we're both a little bit triggered right now, and that's okay. 21:00.442 --> 21:03.908 [SPEAKER_00]: we have more information than ever before about mental health. 21:04.228 --> 21:11.059 [SPEAKER_00]: I think we have way more treatment options, but there are alternatives that we know more about than ever before because of social media. 21:11.079 --> 21:14.024 [SPEAKER_00]: And that just creates more noise and confusion for many people. 21:14.384 --> 21:17.690 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, that is a tricky, a really tricky one. 21:18.311 --> 21:22.197 [SPEAKER_02]: What are like a few things that families could do to like, 21:22.430 --> 21:35.545 [SPEAKER_02]: integrate a little bit of a more holistic approach into their mental health whether it's just day-to-day stress or they have someone who's really struggling in their home like what are a few things that they could do that could just help. 21:35.727 --> 21:38.151 [SPEAKER_02]: whatever it is that they're already doing. 21:38.171 --> 21:44.640 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, one thing I would say is I think the language that we use really does matter and I mean, always with our kids, right? 21:44.660 --> 21:48.927 [SPEAKER_00]: The language we use is going to shape their identities, which is tricky as a parent. 21:49.047 --> 22:02.747 [SPEAKER_00]: It's another thing that can be really difficult because if you have, especially like a neurodivergent child, a highly sensitive child, they pick up on a lot of things that we don't say as true statements or they pick up on a lot of things that we do say in negative ways. 22:02.727 --> 22:26.828 [SPEAKER_00]: being supported with the language as much as we possibly can is is huge and understanding for you yourself as a parent and for your children, God didn't design you with a body that is is completely broken with, but when he designed the human body at creation, he said that it was very good and he gave us a lot of support internally inside our body. 22:26.808 --> 22:29.311 [SPEAKER_00]: to help to alert us to stress. 22:29.511 --> 22:33.836 [SPEAKER_00]: So understanding that not every symptom needs to be pathologized. 22:34.177 --> 22:37.761 [SPEAKER_00]: When I experienced big emotions, my parents pathologize them. 22:38.102 --> 22:39.724 [SPEAKER_00]: Nothing wrong with my parents doing that. 22:39.984 --> 22:41.446 [SPEAKER_00]: They were trying to save my life, right? 22:41.726 --> 22:44.870 [SPEAKER_00]: Like this is just, my parents, we talk about this very openly now. 22:45.511 --> 22:49.696 [SPEAKER_00]: Not everything needs to be pathologized, because we serve a God of many emotions. 22:49.796 --> 22:55.903 [SPEAKER_00]: Jesus experienced so many incredible human emotions being fully God, fully man. 22:55.883 --> 22:57.686 [SPEAKER_00]: right, went during his time on this earth. 22:58.046 --> 23:05.897 [SPEAKER_00]: He was so extremely stressed out in the garden that he physically his physical body experienced physical manifestation of stress by sweating blood. 23:06.097 --> 23:13.588 [SPEAKER_00]: He experienced the emotion of anger at the temple, you know, when the money lenders were doing all those, they were selling things at the temple, all that stuff. 23:13.568 --> 23:23.291 [SPEAKER_00]: He experienced anger, he experienced deep sadness and grief, even though he rose Lazarus from the dead anyway, right after that, he still allowed himself to grieve. 23:23.371 --> 23:28.142 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what speaks to me is showing how Jesus expressed emotions in so many ways. 23:28.222 --> 23:32.472 [SPEAKER_00]: I think as parents, we get a little concerned when our kids have too many emotions. 23:32.452 --> 23:32.712 [SPEAKER_00]: still. 23:32.953 --> 23:47.292 [SPEAKER_00]: But I still, I don't want them to have to go through the pain that I've gone through, and so as parents, any kind of emotional suffering, we're quick to pathologize, we're quick to want to fix it instead of using the language of emotions of, well, you're feeling really overwhelmed today. 23:47.572 --> 23:49.895 [SPEAKER_00]: What is your body need for this overwhelmed? 23:49.915 --> 23:51.097 [SPEAKER_00]: You need to get in a warm bath. 23:51.197 --> 23:52.378 [SPEAKER_00]: That would probably feel really nice. 23:52.398 --> 23:53.640 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you need to go to sleep earlier? 23:53.660 --> 23:59.708 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you need to cuddle with your blanket or your stuffy and sit on the couch with me and we can watch a movie together? 23:59.688 --> 24:01.350 [SPEAKER_00]: it sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed. 24:01.390 --> 24:02.672 [SPEAKER_00]: It sounds like you're anxious. 24:02.952 --> 24:03.873 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know what anxiety is? 24:03.893 --> 24:04.714 [SPEAKER_00]: We could talk about this. 24:04.754 --> 24:07.658 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just an alert that your body is giving you when things don't feel right. 24:08.018 --> 24:09.480 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe things don't feel right for you today. 24:09.540 --> 24:10.221 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's okay. 24:10.461 --> 24:12.284 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think giving that language is really important. 24:12.484 --> 24:16.589 [SPEAKER_00]: I do think supporting blood sugar is something that I'm always going to be. 24:17.150 --> 24:25.560 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm working on my second book right now that is all mental health nutrition based and that's a big part of it is making sure that every meal that we are eating contains, 24:25.540 --> 24:27.603 [SPEAKER_00]: protein, fat, and fiber. 24:27.963 --> 24:35.813 [SPEAKER_00]: In order to help support that blood sugar regulation because if your body is experiencing extreme fluctuations, highs and lows, it feels like panic. 24:35.853 --> 24:36.695 [SPEAKER_00]: It feels like anxiety. 24:36.735 --> 24:38.076 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't feel safe for the body. 24:38.417 --> 24:43.924 [SPEAKER_00]: So one way that we can create safety for our kids is just making sure that they're eating a wide variety of foods. 24:43.964 --> 24:44.925 [SPEAKER_00]: They're eating their veggies. 24:44.965 --> 24:46.067 [SPEAKER_00]: They're eating some protein. 24:46.087 --> 24:48.550 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you have some meat sticks on hand for meltdowns. 24:48.610 --> 24:50.012 [SPEAKER_00]: It really does work. 24:49.992 --> 24:51.014 [SPEAKER_00]: it works for my family. 24:51.214 --> 24:58.008 [SPEAKER_00]: So those two things, the language, I think supporting blood sugar through nutrients, getting those nutrients, and can be, can be really helpful. 24:58.048 --> 25:04.582 [SPEAKER_00]: Those are two, I'm trying to, you know, try to have a condensed version here, but I talk about that quite a bit in my book as well. 25:04.602 --> 25:08.049 [SPEAKER_00]: Especially the emotions I talk about that a lot, because that is very personal to me. 25:08.329 --> 25:09.672 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, I get that. 25:10.040 --> 25:26.547 [SPEAKER_02]: We always have these six around and my friends who's daughters on my daughter's dance team will be at these dance competitions all weekend long and she just brings bags of beef sticks for the moms she's like you're starting to drag the little short with everyone having to be stick to like beef sticks for everyone. 25:26.695 --> 25:29.280 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, it's funny. 25:29.841 --> 25:34.229 [SPEAKER_02]: Well tell us before we go how we can find your book where we can connect with you. 25:34.289 --> 25:35.732 [SPEAKER_02]: So you're going to have another book coming out. 25:36.233 --> 25:37.475 [SPEAKER_02]: Tell us how we can connect with you. 25:37.495 --> 25:38.316 [SPEAKER_02]: I'll get it all in general. 25:38.497 --> 25:40.921 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, my book is called Live Beyond Your Label. 25:41.021 --> 25:41.583 [SPEAKER_00]: It's everywhere. 25:41.683 --> 25:42.284 [SPEAKER_00]: Books are sold. 25:42.324 --> 25:44.428 [SPEAKER_00]: My website is erinbcarry.com. 25:44.448 --> 25:45.109 [SPEAKER_00]: I have 25:45.089 --> 25:46.432 [SPEAKER_00]: Lots of free things on there. 25:46.452 --> 25:48.637 [SPEAKER_00]: I always like to say I give out a lot of free information. 25:48.717 --> 25:50.200 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a food mood guide. 25:50.260 --> 25:55.652 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a mood reset questionnaire like just for you to individualize this is how I'm feeling today. 25:55.772 --> 25:57.436 [SPEAKER_00]: What's a support that I can use for myself. 25:57.777 --> 25:58.819 [SPEAKER_00]: Be great for kids too. 25:58.899 --> 26:00.583 [SPEAKER_00]: I have that I'm on. 26:00.563 --> 26:02.725 [SPEAKER_00]: on Instagram as sparking homelessness. 26:02.765 --> 26:04.427 [SPEAKER_00]: That's where I post the majority of things. 26:04.707 --> 26:12.175 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I see clients virtually in in-personase Texas if you're any Texas, but I do see clients virtually as well from all over. 26:12.635 --> 26:16.579 [SPEAKER_00]: And I work at a counseling center called LivingWellTiler and that's LivingWellTiler.com. 26:16.639 --> 26:22.225 [SPEAKER_00]: I work with my husband with a whole team of counselors and it's incredible. 26:22.265 --> 26:29.052 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just offering these tools for support and other little things that want to help support people before things get 26:29.032 --> 26:29.353 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 26:29.753 --> 26:30.174 [SPEAKER_02]: I love that. 26:30.194 --> 26:37.670 [SPEAKER_02]: I love your heart behind it and just how genuine you are and how you are just working with so many families to help people not to miss them. 26:37.690 --> 26:38.972 [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for what you're doing. 26:39.093 --> 26:41.057 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to link all that in China so people can find it. 26:41.798 --> 26:43.822 [SPEAKER_02]: But I appreciate you taking your time to be with me today. 26:44.083 --> 26:46.408 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, thank you for having me on this is a fun conversation. 26:46.448 --> 26:47.530 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, thank you. 26:50.125 --> 26:51.868 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for listening you guys. 26:52.068 --> 26:58.779 [SPEAKER_01]: If today's episode resonated with you, I want to encourage you to take a moment and reflect on the language that you use around mental health in your home. 26:59.220 --> 27:02.164 [SPEAKER_01]: The words that we choose really matter, especially for our kids. 27:02.565 --> 27:11.419 [SPEAKER_01]: There is space both for compassion and truth, and there is so much hope when we remember that our identity is in Jesus and it's not defined by diagnosis. 27:12.201 --> 27:14.985 [SPEAKER_01]: If this episode was helpful, please share it with a friend or leave a review. 27:15.185 --> 27:23.275 [SPEAKER_01]: It truly helps other parents find these conversations, and as always, you can find more encouragement and more resources at ChristianParenting.org. 27:23.976 --> 27:33.788 [SPEAKER_01]: As you go today, make out Bless You, making me with peace where things feel overwhelming, wisdom where decisions feel heavy, and hope that reminds you that you are not alone. 27:34.249 --> 27:38.374 [SPEAKER_01]: May your home be a place of grace, honest conversation, and steady love.