WEBVTT 00:02.326 --> 00:05.032 [SPEAKER_02]: Hello and welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 00:05.112 --> 00:07.678 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm so glad that you are here today with me. 00:07.818 --> 00:11.807 [SPEAKER_02]: I am truly honored to welcome back our guest, Pastor Max Lucato. 00:12.248 --> 00:20.706 [SPEAKER_02]: Max has been a trusted voice for so many of us for decades and today's conversation feels so timely for parents raising kids in an anxious world. 00:20.686 --> 00:37.125 [SPEAKER_02]: So Pastor Max has written honestly and compassionately about fear and worry for adults and now he's turned his heart towards kids with his new devotional calm thoughts for kids is in 90 day devotional and it's designed to help kids understand anxiety depend on God's word and build practical 00:37.105 --> 00:40.109 [SPEAKER_02]: faith-filled strategies for one fear feels overwhelming. 00:40.189 --> 00:44.275 [SPEAKER_02]: I love the way he talks about strategies and parenting and I think that you're going to as well. 00:44.776 --> 00:57.033 [SPEAKER_02]: So besides that we talked about how anxiety shows up differently in kids, why conversation is such a powerful tool for spiritual growth and how parents can help their kids anchor their identity in Christ rather than in fear. 00:57.534 --> 01:01.900 [SPEAKER_02]: And he also gives some amazing encouragement at the end that I think you're going to really love and appreciate. 01:02.281 --> 01:04.564 [SPEAKER_02]: So whether your child struggles with worry, 01:04.544 --> 01:11.654 [SPEAKER_02]: big emotions or just needs a little reassurance and on certain times, this is a really encouraging and practical conversation for you. 01:11.735 --> 01:18.565 [SPEAKER_02]: So enjoy! 01:18.585 --> 01:20.868 [SPEAKER_02]: Hello, welcome to the Christian Parenting podcast. 01:21.148 --> 01:22.370 [SPEAKER_01]: It is my honor. 01:22.671 --> 01:23.452 [SPEAKER_01]: Hello to you. 01:23.532 --> 01:24.613 [SPEAKER_01]: I hope you're doing well. 01:24.794 --> 01:31.443 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it is great to have you back you've been here once before and you have had a lot of things happen in your life since you've been on. 01:31.824 --> 01:33.927 [SPEAKER_02]: You've had you added to your family a little bit. 01:33.907 --> 01:35.328 [SPEAKER_01]: a bunch, a bunch. 01:36.089 --> 01:47.481 [SPEAKER_01]: So we have three daughters and before last month, before December of 2025, we had four grandchildren, ages 18, two and two. 01:47.882 --> 01:55.830 [SPEAKER_01]: And now we have 18, two and two, and one month, and one week, one month old, and one week old. 01:56.090 --> 01:57.251 [SPEAKER_01]: So we have six. 01:57.612 --> 02:02.817 [SPEAKER_01]: And then we have one more do in 02:02.797 --> 02:08.401 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like our daughters have just decided to take it on themselves to replenish the earth. 02:08.622 --> 02:11.997 [SPEAKER_02]: And then you'll have the most fun family gatherings. 02:12.331 --> 02:12.691 [SPEAKER_02]: ever. 02:12.871 --> 02:17.476 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you know, you know, you know, get all the cousins there. 02:17.676 --> 02:17.876 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 02:18.156 --> 02:18.477 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 02:18.757 --> 02:19.698 [SPEAKER_02]: This year for Christmas. 02:19.798 --> 02:23.261 [SPEAKER_02]: So my, my sisters might also had our kids all at the same time. 02:23.341 --> 02:27.605 [SPEAKER_02]: So we have 10 in their three to 15. 02:27.645 --> 02:30.227 [SPEAKER_02]: There's a little gap in there, but most of them are kind of the same age. 02:30.327 --> 02:35.572 [SPEAKER_02]: And we for Christmas this year didn't do gifts, but we, I got them all matching shirts. 02:35.612 --> 02:42.338 [SPEAKER_02]: That kind of were like most likely to Christmas deemed like most likely to peek under the tree. 02:42.318 --> 02:48.469 [SPEAKER_02]: A, like, uh, one of those nerf places where you go play nerf in like a ten like laser tag, but with nerf guns. 02:48.489 --> 02:50.774 [SPEAKER_02]: And so they all did that and it was absolute chaos. 02:50.894 --> 02:53.438 [SPEAKER_02]: There were a lot of tears, but a lot of laughter. 02:53.519 --> 02:55.021 [SPEAKER_02]: And it was so fun. 02:55.142 --> 02:57.346 [SPEAKER_02]: It just, everyone loves each other and it's just great. 02:57.566 --> 02:59.510 [SPEAKER_02]: So love a big family. 02:59.830 --> 03:00.572 [SPEAKER_02]: Love comes time. 03:00.932 --> 03:01.213 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 03:01.233 --> 03:01.674 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 03:01.694 --> 03:02.976 [SPEAKER_01]: That's a lot of kids. 03:03.462 --> 03:08.191 [SPEAKER_01]: So how do kids take a lot of energy doesn't it? 03:08.592 --> 03:11.037 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I was reminded quickly. 03:11.077 --> 03:15.606 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, we are a daughter who lives in Austin. 03:15.666 --> 03:20.155 [SPEAKER_01]: I live in San Antonio, our daughter Andrea, who lives in Austin. 03:20.135 --> 03:24.902 [SPEAKER_01]: had her second child just less than about five days ago. 03:25.162 --> 03:34.356 [SPEAKER_01]: And we got in yesterday from being in Austin and taking care of the two and a half year old, his name is Rio. 03:34.776 --> 03:43.729 [SPEAKER_01]: In that 03:43.709 --> 04:11.303 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm a dad of girls and these little guys they just they run and you know what he eats he eats I mean one time I bought him a pack of five chicken nuggets and waffle fries he ate them all I went back and got a whole new children's meal for it and he ate nearly all of them that kid can eat but then I watched him and he never stopped so they just burns you know all this 04:11.283 --> 04:13.606 [SPEAKER_02]: Well that's so fun. 04:13.726 --> 04:15.048 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just really excited for you. 04:15.208 --> 04:15.969 [SPEAKER_02]: That's just great. 04:16.190 --> 04:34.975 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's actually great kind of transition because you just are writing for kids right now and because you've written for adults about so many different things over the years obviously so many books, but you have touched on anxiety and worry for adults and now you are touching on that for kids and sharing the message with kids. 04:35.055 --> 04:40.362 [SPEAKER_02]: So what kind of made you switch gears a little bit and decide you wanted to write a book on anxiety. 04:40.342 --> 04:41.484 [SPEAKER_02]: a devotional for kids. 04:42.185 --> 04:45.630 [SPEAKER_01]: Think, I think the operative word might be strategy. 04:45.890 --> 04:56.005 [SPEAKER_01]: I really want moms and dads to want to help them as they develop a strategy for helping their kids deal with anxiety. 04:56.225 --> 05:02.755 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think any parent would say, my kids do not live in a world of anxiety. 05:02.735 --> 05:14.489 [SPEAKER_01]: We see it, and we see it on their faces little kids, you know, first and second graders all the way up to middle schoolers and high schoolers, but we can see the world of anxiety closing in on them. 05:14.829 --> 05:21.297 [SPEAKER_01]: If any mom and dad said my kid lives in an anxiety for your world, I've got a great sermon on honesty. 05:21.717 --> 05:22.678 [SPEAKER_01]: I'd love to send them. 05:22.859 --> 05:24.060 [SPEAKER_01]: Because they they know it. 05:24.440 --> 05:28.405 [SPEAKER_01]: What they may not know is that is that they can help. 05:28.385 --> 05:32.631 [SPEAKER_01]: their kids have a strategy, a strategy for anxiety. 05:32.971 --> 05:36.696 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, we help our kids have a strategy for everything else, right? 05:36.916 --> 05:46.810 [SPEAKER_01]: A strategy for succeeding with their grades, or making the baseball team, or learning to play the piano, or staying warm, or avoiding the flu. 05:47.210 --> 05:58.105 [SPEAKER_01]: We have all kinds of strategies, strategies to get the bed on time, to get enough sleep. 05:58.085 --> 06:06.340 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's make sure that as we're creating strategies that we help our kids because dealing with anxiety is not inborn. 06:06.541 --> 06:15.317 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not like we just know it's not like we're born right-handed and left-handed, so we're born with the ability or not with the ability. 06:15.297 --> 06:18.323 [SPEAKER_01]: there are some temperaments that do better than others. 06:18.423 --> 06:18.964 [SPEAKER_01]: I get that. 06:19.385 --> 06:22.190 [SPEAKER_01]: But every child could use some help. 06:22.210 --> 06:36.057 [SPEAKER_01]: In this book, it would be, I hope, a part of a parent's strategy session, so their strategy of tools that help their kids deal with the worry and anxiety and the fear that comes their way. 06:36.037 --> 06:36.358 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 06:36.878 --> 06:37.740 [SPEAKER_02]: That's such a good point. 06:37.760 --> 06:46.914 [SPEAKER_02]: And I like that word for this strategy because I think sometimes there's a little bit of a hesitation to address anxiety, especially if you see a lot of anxiety in your kids. 06:47.495 --> 06:49.338 [SPEAKER_02]: I have generally as anxiety disorder. 06:49.378 --> 06:51.441 [SPEAKER_02]: One of my kids does too and it's hard. 06:51.542 --> 06:58.753 [SPEAKER_02]: It's really hard to talk about it as a parent and be like, okay, there's a problem here and we need to come up with a strategy to help. 06:58.733 --> 07:01.118 [SPEAKER_02]: And there's a little bit of a stigma, I think. 07:01.619 --> 07:02.942 [SPEAKER_02]: Now, so I like that idea. 07:02.962 --> 07:07.652 [SPEAKER_02]: This is just one strategy in all the rest of the strategies I have to have in parenting. 07:07.892 --> 07:08.173 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 07:08.574 --> 07:18.354 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I have curious as one who is a coin of a strategy then with things out, he then, how have you seen it manifested in your life and in the life of your child? 07:18.375 --> 07:19.577 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a great question. 07:19.557 --> 07:21.039 [SPEAKER_02]: differently for both of us. 07:21.299 --> 07:27.408 [SPEAKER_02]: I think when I get really anxious, I shut down and I just kind of can't function very well. 07:27.448 --> 07:33.196 [SPEAKER_02]: So then I have to call on people to help and I've worked through a lot of it and I'm really good place right now. 07:33.636 --> 07:34.718 [SPEAKER_02]: Postpartum was hard for me. 07:34.738 --> 07:37.241 [SPEAKER_02]: So that postpartum anxiety was brutal. 07:37.441 --> 07:38.663 [SPEAKER_02]: So why we don't have four kids. 07:40.178 --> 07:56.480 [SPEAKER_02]: But so for me, I'm more of a shut down my daughter who has anxiety is more of a meltdown very overwhelmed and melts down so it shows up differently, which makes it kind of hard to because then you have to like, okay, we may be experiencing the same thing, but it's coming out in different ways. 07:56.540 --> 07:58.543 [SPEAKER_02]: So then how do we deal with that too. 07:59.805 --> 08:00.145 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 08:00.125 --> 08:08.798 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think one of the things that has been helpful for us is really talking about how her anxiety in my anxiety too. 08:08.878 --> 08:11.362 [SPEAKER_02]: And anyone's anxiety doesn't define who they are. 08:11.402 --> 08:15.087 [SPEAKER_02]: You're like first and foremost, our identity is a child of God. 08:15.147 --> 08:18.172 [SPEAKER_02]: And so we can depend on God to help us get through things. 08:18.212 --> 08:22.538 [SPEAKER_02]: And obviously there's counseling and medication and all sorts of things that you can do. 08:22.518 --> 08:28.394 [SPEAKER_02]: to help with anxiety, but depending on God in leaning on the Word of God is one part of the strategy. 08:28.434 --> 08:29.677 [SPEAKER_02]: That is so important. 08:30.058 --> 08:30.379 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 08:30.720 --> 08:31.382 [SPEAKER_02]: And what do you think? 08:31.743 --> 08:32.545 [SPEAKER_02]: Going to go ahead. 08:32.795 --> 08:41.349 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I was just going to say, understanding the kind of the diagnosis of anxiety, the explanation of anxiety is really helpful. 08:41.729 --> 08:44.494 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, our brains, I'm not a neuroscientist. 08:44.554 --> 08:57.655 [SPEAKER_01]: I know I look like one, but I'm not a neuroscientist, but I do appreciate the explanations that neuroscientists give about that little acorn-sized part of our brain called the amygdala. 08:57.635 --> 08:59.116 [SPEAKER_01]: And it is so valuable. 08:59.477 --> 09:05.922 [SPEAKER_01]: And the it makes the law is the source of the fight or flight response that we have. 09:06.303 --> 09:13.009 [SPEAKER_01]: They keep us from wrestling or keeps us from talking to the grizzly bear, or crossing the highway. 09:13.229 --> 09:15.611 [SPEAKER_01]: It's an important part of our world. 09:15.651 --> 09:18.514 [SPEAKER_01]: It causes our pulse rate to increase. 09:18.714 --> 09:21.617 [SPEAKER_01]: It causes our response rate to increase. 09:21.637 --> 09:27.642 [SPEAKER_01]: It causes us to run fast. 09:27.622 --> 09:32.589 [SPEAKER_01]: Because of the adrenaline flow, so it's a tremendous gift. 09:32.970 --> 09:38.738 [SPEAKER_01]: A megaly, however, is a bit like a home alarm system. 09:38.758 --> 09:44.766 [SPEAKER_01]: And when the home alarm system has alerted us to potential danger, it needs to be shut off. 09:45.026 --> 09:46.368 [SPEAKER_01]: It needs to be shut off. 09:46.388 --> 09:53.258 [SPEAKER_01]: An anxiety that is perpetual is that home alarm system that just won't shut off. 09:53.238 --> 10:22.857 [SPEAKER_01]: and it's just loud and it's blaring and it keeps us in a state of alert and fear and is you're pointing out for some it's more challenging than for others but I do believe that every every child, every human being would benefit from understanding that this anxiety that you're experiencing is for your good but if you don't develop strategies with which to diminish the noise 10:22.837 --> 10:26.422 [SPEAKER_01]: then it's going to create havoc in your system. 10:26.623 --> 10:29.967 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's true for adults, but especially true for kids. 10:30.168 --> 10:34.454 [SPEAKER_01]: And so as parents, we can help our kids manage these thoughts. 10:35.015 --> 10:36.837 [SPEAKER_01]: And we have a variety of ways to do it. 10:37.178 --> 10:44.068 [SPEAKER_01]: But I just think it's beholden upon us to help our kids understand what is happening. 10:46.428 --> 11:04.707 [SPEAKER_01]: let's say you got five kids and and and for them can be told there's a spelling be coming up on you know in two weeks this all get ready four of them won't say sure let's try let's give it a go it all said there's going to be one of them that's just going to freak out 11:04.687 --> 11:09.841 [SPEAKER_01]: For whatever reason, you know, he's going to say, Oh, no, I'm never going to do it. 11:09.901 --> 11:10.663 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't do it. 11:10.683 --> 11:11.165 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I can't. 11:11.345 --> 11:12.689 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, no. 11:13.010 --> 11:20.029 [SPEAKER_01]: It's going to send him on a spiral helping him to learn how to kind of step back from the ledge. 11:20.009 --> 11:28.360 [SPEAKER_01]: take a deep breath, develop a strategy for dealing with that fear of whatever it is, tell you, or if you're doing something in public. 11:28.380 --> 11:29.942 [SPEAKER_01]: What a gift that is. 11:30.323 --> 11:47.485 [SPEAKER_01]: And again, this particular book is, it's 90 days, every day a different reading, every day a different scripture, every day a different topic to have a conversation with it for the child, have a conversation 11:47.465 --> 12:12.190 [SPEAKER_02]: to help kids deal and learn to cope, develop that muscle that deals with things I. Yeah, I love that there's the talk about it together, part what you're talking about, that there's an opportunity for parents to have conversations with their kids, because I feel like that's so helpful to normalize a little bit, name it a little bit, come up with some of you together, you know, give them a little ownership, which is empowering 12:12.170 --> 12:19.409 [SPEAKER_02]: Obviously, but why are these conversations so important, not just for anxiety, but also for their spiritual growth and for family life? 12:19.790 --> 12:21.534 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, this is a spiritual issue. 12:21.976 --> 12:27.951 [SPEAKER_01]: We're talking about Satan dealing, coming at us with the spirit of fear. 12:27.931 --> 12:36.140 [SPEAKER_01]: But the scripture says, we've not been given a spirit of fear, but a power and love and self-control, but Satan wants to come with the spirit of fear. 12:36.601 --> 12:42.547 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's one reason Jesus said fear not, or don't be afraid so many times. 12:42.827 --> 12:45.650 [SPEAKER_01]: Again, this grace has been, I think, 15 years ago. 12:46.031 --> 12:51.677 [SPEAKER_01]: I wrote a book called Fear Less, and it's based on the, do not fear statements of Christ. 12:51.657 --> 12:57.644 [SPEAKER_01]: Somebody once said that there's a do not fear statement for every day of the year actually that's not true. 12:57.845 --> 12:59.407 [SPEAKER_01]: There are a lot of them, though. 12:59.587 --> 13:01.069 [SPEAKER_01]: There are a lot of them. 13:01.149 --> 13:05.694 [SPEAKER_01]: There's well over 300 in Scripture and there's a bunch of them from Christ. 13:06.075 --> 13:11.361 [SPEAKER_01]: And that is because God does not want us to live in a state of panic or a state of fear. 13:11.742 --> 13:12.923 [SPEAKER_01]: But the devil does. 13:13.143 --> 13:17.749 [SPEAKER_01]: And so helping our kids 13:17.729 --> 13:26.662 [SPEAKER_01]: battle by using scripture and using prayer and then using honest and open conversation, the devil always works in the dark. 13:26.883 --> 13:30.889 [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever the particular sin is, it's always working in the dark. 13:30.909 --> 13:32.531 [SPEAKER_01]: He loves to keep it in the shadows. 13:32.912 --> 13:40.764 [SPEAKER_01]: And so if parents can urge their kids to talk about it, to express it, give them language with which to articulate it. 13:41.124 --> 13:43.568 [SPEAKER_01]: Now we're just helping our kids grow up. 13:43.548 --> 13:46.612 [SPEAKER_02]: What does it look like as parents are having these conversations? 13:46.752 --> 13:56.846 [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like there are a lot of things that we say that have good intention, but can be a little confusing for kids, you know, like, even I kind of was talking about it earlier. 13:56.926 --> 14:00.711 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, depend on God's word, and, you know, like, don't worry, God's in control. 14:00.751 --> 14:02.493 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, those things aren't bad things. 14:02.593 --> 14:05.297 [SPEAKER_02]: Obviously, they're good, but it's a little abstract for kids. 14:05.898 --> 14:08.882 [SPEAKER_02]: So what does that actually look like in having these conversations? 14:08.902 --> 14:12.947 [SPEAKER_02]: And kind of using some of those ideas, but in a way that's appropriate for kids. 14:12.927 --> 14:15.071 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I think I have a couple of answers. 14:15.171 --> 14:16.433 [SPEAKER_01]: I'd love to hear your thoughts. 14:16.493 --> 14:19.619 [SPEAKER_01]: You're right there boots on the ground, the front line. 14:20.140 --> 14:22.704 [SPEAKER_01]: I've got the privilege to be in a grandpa, right? 14:22.865 --> 14:31.079 [SPEAKER_01]: So this is that season of life in which you just give the kids a lot of sugar and send them back to mom and dad to live with it. 14:31.139 --> 14:33.163 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm having a good day anyway. 14:33.143 --> 14:49.704 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, when our kids were young, I remember one of our daughters seemed to battle anxiety on a day-to-day basis, and I tried to teach her that scripture from second Corinthians to take every thought captive, take every thought captive. 14:50.064 --> 14:55.171 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's a, that is a bit abstract for a single-digit age girl. 14:55.511 --> 15:02.560 [SPEAKER_01]: And I can't recall if it was me or my wife who came up with the idea 15:02.540 --> 15:11.036 [SPEAKER_01]: whenever she had scary thoughts to reach up to her head and pull them out and pull them out and find a trash can and throw them away. 15:11.537 --> 15:13.220 [SPEAKER_01]: So we would do that physically. 15:13.280 --> 15:15.144 [SPEAKER_01]: We gave her a physical exercise. 15:15.184 --> 15:17.448 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, just pull that scary thought out. 15:17.869 --> 15:19.873 [SPEAKER_01]: Here's a trash can throw it away. 15:19.853 --> 15:24.823 [SPEAKER_01]: And it was a wonderful thing when one day I just saw her in her bedroom. 15:25.244 --> 15:27.228 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, I want to say second or third grader. 15:27.589 --> 15:28.571 [SPEAKER_01]: And she was doing that. 15:28.931 --> 15:36.647 [SPEAKER_01]: So whatever that thought was, she was trying to, trying to get it out and what we had done helped. 15:36.627 --> 15:45.162 [SPEAKER_01]: because she over time overcame that persistent, overwhelming sense of anxiety. 15:45.502 --> 15:47.165 [SPEAKER_01]: So practical tools like that. 15:47.466 --> 15:50.671 [SPEAKER_01]: And then scripture memorization, it's just wonderful. 15:50.932 --> 15:54.638 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, if you can teach kids, you know, any, the Lord is my shepherd. 15:54.898 --> 15:55.800 [SPEAKER_01]: I shall not want. 15:55.780 --> 15:59.767 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's just say that over and over honey, the Lord is my shepherd. 15:59.787 --> 16:01.090 [SPEAKER_01]: You know what a shepherd does? 16:01.431 --> 16:05.177 [SPEAKER_01]: A shepherd's whole assignment is to take care of sheep. 16:05.538 --> 16:07.822 [SPEAKER_01]: And you have a shepherd, you have a good shepherd. 16:07.842 --> 16:11.650 [SPEAKER_01]: So let's say this first, the Lord is my shepherd, over and over. 16:11.730 --> 16:16.759 [SPEAKER_01]: And those kind of tools are just the best ever to help these kids. 16:16.790 --> 16:29.266 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, well, it makes it so concrete and tangible and I'm thinking even like for boys, you know, who are a little more physical anyway, they need something to get in their bodies and not just so much in their heads. 16:29.687 --> 16:31.008 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I like that idea. 16:31.048 --> 16:32.190 [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's really cute. 16:32.230 --> 16:38.578 [SPEAKER_02]: The grabbing your head and take that holding every that captive because that's such a great verse, but after a while, you're kind of like, wait, but what does that mean? 16:38.693 --> 16:39.714 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. 16:39.754 --> 16:40.775 [SPEAKER_02]: Especially for a kid. 16:41.115 --> 16:47.441 [SPEAKER_02]: We found a lot of stories have been helpful in teaching our kids a lot of, I mean, not just about anxiety, but about a lot of things. 16:47.541 --> 17:02.735 [SPEAKER_02]: Just stories about our own personal lives as about us, as kids, the things that we struggled through hard moments in school, hard moments in sports, just make it a little more relatable and then tying and scripture to that has been really helpful. 17:02.935 --> 17:06.258 [SPEAKER_01]: You mean telling about things that happened to you when you were growing up? 17:07.079 --> 17:07.519 [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. 17:08.039 --> 17:12.610 [SPEAKER_02]: One of my friends, for a while, her son, his favorite question to ask adults. 17:13.652 --> 17:16.960 [SPEAKER_02]: Will you tell me a story about when you were really naughty as a kid? 17:17.722 --> 17:24.377 [SPEAKER_02]: It ended up that first his parents were kind of like, I don't know if he should be asking people that, but it ended up being 17:24.357 --> 17:39.750 [SPEAKER_02]: such a powerful question that led to so many good conversations and truths that my kids started asking the same thing there a little buddy of ours and that some of the times people are like oh I don't want to tell that but what do you tell a story it makes it I don't know they do well mm-hmm I love that yeah 17:39.730 --> 17:43.558 [SPEAKER_01]: and it gives them the ability to, you know, I can recall something. 17:44.239 --> 17:51.534 [SPEAKER_01]: I, this is really interesting because of pastor for so many years, you know, I became a pastor in 1979. 17:51.714 --> 18:01.013 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to do the math on that, but I want to have many messages, you know, how many times I've spoken, but I had a fear of speaking in public. 18:00.993 --> 18:02.475 [SPEAKER_01]: all the way into high school. 18:02.736 --> 18:05.620 [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, I enjoyed student government. 18:05.640 --> 18:08.264 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I ran for class representative. 18:08.564 --> 18:10.087 [SPEAKER_01]: And I got elected of all things. 18:10.227 --> 18:11.409 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not sure how that happened. 18:11.869 --> 18:13.412 [SPEAKER_01]: Probably nobody else was running. 18:13.752 --> 18:25.130 [SPEAKER_01]: But part of being a representative meant you had to give a report to home room classes we called them back then once every month about what was happening on the student council. 18:25.470 --> 18:26.612 [SPEAKER_01]: Boy, I dreaded that. 18:26.632 --> 18:27.233 [SPEAKER_01]: I did. 18:27.293 --> 18:28.755 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was so nervous. 18:28.735 --> 18:40.077 [SPEAKER_01]: I can recall to this day, forgive the too much information, but feeling my armpits almost dripping, almost dripping with anxiety, but when I would go into the room. 18:40.778 --> 18:50.777 [SPEAKER_01]: And one of my teachers said, I told my teacher about this, and my teacher said, well, Max, just change the way rather than say, as you're walking into the room. 18:50.757 --> 18:54.957 [SPEAKER_01]: rather than be telling yourself, well, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here. 18:55.359 --> 18:59.620 [SPEAKER_01]: Just change that voice and say, man, they're lucky to see me. 18:59.684 --> 19:01.126 [SPEAKER_01]: Man, they're lucky to save me. 19:01.506 --> 19:05.391 [SPEAKER_01]: I know it sounds a little self-serving, but I needed as a need is something. 19:05.752 --> 19:13.322 [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, I kind of developed a little, I'm gonna fool them with confidence and they're lucky to see me took over. 19:13.682 --> 19:23.655 [SPEAKER_01]: And that was just a little strategy, a tool that became extremely helpful in my life because I became a pastor. 19:24.036 --> 19:29.623 [SPEAKER_01]: And so those types of things 19:29.603 --> 19:57.467 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I heard someone say once, well, we always help, my daughter's a dancer so she gets on stage a lot in her teachers will often remind them like being nervous and scared and excited often feel the same so just when you're feeling scared to get on stage just remind yourself you're also excited to get on stage and you can feel both those things at once they're just going to feel the same so you're going to feel it extra so just kind of reframing I think is so powerful because our minds are so so powerful. 19:57.447 --> 19:58.329 [SPEAKER_01]: They really are. 19:58.349 --> 19:59.311 [SPEAKER_01]: They really are. 19:59.611 --> 20:16.485 [SPEAKER_01]: And we're learning more and more about how our brains work and how they can be changed, how they can be reshaped, you know, learning to this this whole idea of cognitive behavioral therapy of talking ourselves into a different way of viewing. 20:16.465 --> 20:20.491 [SPEAKER_01]: whatever struggle we're facing, there's so much merit to that. 20:20.752 --> 20:23.135 [SPEAKER_01]: Do not be conformed to the world. 20:23.456 --> 20:28.303 [SPEAKER_01]: Descript your says, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. 20:28.644 --> 20:31.148 [SPEAKER_01]: And what we're helping our Estrolments 12 and Verse 2. 20:31.508 --> 20:41.764 [SPEAKER_01]: What we're helping our kids do is be not conformed but transformed to be transformed and transformed how by the renewing of the mind. 20:41.744 --> 20:43.467 [SPEAKER_01]: And how do we renew the mind? 20:43.747 --> 20:45.650 [SPEAKER_01]: And what we learn to talk to the mind? 20:45.971 --> 20:48.095 [SPEAKER_01]: And teach the mind how to talk to us. 20:48.315 --> 20:52.201 [SPEAKER_01]: We retrain the brain with the power of God's Word. 20:52.221 --> 20:57.931 [SPEAKER_01]: And again, that's what Scripture matters And if I can say, that's why Mom and Dad matter so much. 20:58.332 --> 21:00.034 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm a pastor. 21:00.195 --> 21:02.839 [SPEAKER_01]: I love my C kids in church. 21:02.859 --> 21:05.203 [SPEAKER_01]: But man, I'm under no illusion. 21:05.183 --> 21:24.762 [SPEAKER_01]: that one sermon, a week, then usually translates into maybe three sermons a month because of, you know, travel and event, that is there no way that's going to compensate for all the negative and anxiety producing thoughts that come the way of our kids and so it's mom and dad. 21:24.742 --> 21:36.663 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, we got to have you, you're the voice, you're the coach, you're the teacher, you're the authority figure and when you speak it, they may not understand it, but when you speak it, they they hear it. 21:37.003 --> 21:39.848 [SPEAKER_01]: And by the way, mom and dad, if you're just. 21:39.828 --> 21:43.614 [SPEAKER_01]: battling anxiety all the time, your fear is contagious. 21:43.834 --> 22:03.844 [SPEAKER_01]: So the best thing that you can do is to learn to cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you to do not be anxious about anything but in prayer and petition with Thanksgiving in your heart to let all your requests be made known to God and let the peace of God that passes understanding become your way. 22:03.976 --> 22:13.533 [SPEAKER_01]: And so make it your aim to turn first to God and allow that piece to come over your legs and what you desire your kids to do, they will see in you. 22:13.693 --> 22:17.700 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, modeling is so important and taking care of ourselves because it's easy to ignore us. 22:18.642 --> 22:19.524 [SPEAKER_02]: It's a busy idea. 22:20.125 --> 22:20.265 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 22:20.285 --> 22:20.986 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm curious. 22:21.467 --> 22:21.587 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 22:21.607 --> 22:23.811 [SPEAKER_02]: You said you've been pastoring this as 1979. 22:24.713 --> 22:24.853 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. 22:25.525 --> 22:36.447 [SPEAKER_02]: I would be curious how you have seen kind of anxiety and how it's showing up in people and how often it's showing up in people change in all of your years, pastoring your congregation. 22:36.828 --> 22:40.154 [SPEAKER_02]: Like are you seeing more now or are you seeing it just different? 22:40.395 --> 22:42.960 [SPEAKER_01]: There's a rawness today. 22:43.210 --> 22:53.144 [SPEAKER_01]: people back in the 70s and the east there was a sophistication in a church service that you didn't really show your emotions too much. 22:53.365 --> 23:02.258 [SPEAKER_01]: Open the altar up for prayer and maybe two or three people come forward because there was there was this pretense that people brought with him into church. 23:02.478 --> 23:03.820 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't see that anymore. 23:03.840 --> 23:07.345 [SPEAKER_01]: Now I think people the world is is 23:07.325 --> 23:11.372 [SPEAKER_01]: such a full court press on people coming at him from all angles. 23:11.752 --> 23:15.579 [SPEAKER_01]: And we are right to place much of the blame at social media. 23:15.779 --> 23:22.350 [SPEAKER_01]: And the now 19 year old iPhone, the smartphone, it's just coming at us from all angles. 23:22.731 --> 23:28.240 [SPEAKER_01]: And so now when we open up the altar at our church, we just see a flood of people coming forward. 23:28.380 --> 23:33.028 [SPEAKER_01]: And they're just begging, begging the Lord for supernatural strength. 23:33.008 --> 23:36.275 [SPEAKER_01]: because the pressure's coming from all angles. 23:36.656 --> 23:42.950 [SPEAKER_01]: We are seeing revival among Gen Z and seeing so many young people coming to faith. 23:43.070 --> 23:45.997 [SPEAKER_01]: There's great news everywhere and so many places. 23:46.418 --> 23:48.202 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we praise the Lord for that. 23:48.543 --> 23:50.106 [SPEAKER_01]: We're thanking the Lord for that. 23:50.086 --> 23:53.752 [SPEAKER_01]: But we are also aware that there's a great spiritual battle. 23:54.112 --> 24:05.270 [SPEAKER_01]: There's still a huge Roman chapter one culture out there that has just decided to have nothing to do with God or to live their life without any worldview of God. 24:05.611 --> 24:11.200 [SPEAKER_01]: And so God says when that happens, he gives them over to their shameful lusts. 24:11.180 --> 24:13.503 [SPEAKER_01]: In other words, it's a prodigal son's story. 24:13.983 --> 24:17.287 [SPEAKER_01]: He says, OK, you want to go and squander your inheritance. 24:17.608 --> 24:18.929 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to let you go. 24:18.969 --> 24:20.431 [SPEAKER_01]: You're not listening to me. 24:20.471 --> 24:22.894 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to let you live with the consequences. 24:22.914 --> 24:26.458 [SPEAKER_01]: So there's a lot of living with consequences happening in the world now. 24:26.819 --> 24:31.905 [SPEAKER_01]: And children are seeing their classmates. 24:31.885 --> 24:48.527 [SPEAKER_01]: hearing about their classmates broken homes, hearing about self-harm, hearing about it, it's just terrible, terrible things that I did not hear about growing up, not because I was protected, but just because that was not the, uh, the, in-addist. 24:48.507 --> 24:50.990 [SPEAKER_01]: And so there's great news, but there's tough news. 24:51.170 --> 24:53.734 [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's a great day to race kids, so. 24:54.214 --> 24:58.640 [SPEAKER_01]: Because kids can develop a faith that is so hardy, so real. 24:58.680 --> 25:00.663 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not a pretense faith. 25:00.683 --> 25:03.266 [SPEAKER_01]: It's going to require some concrete. 25:03.606 --> 25:08.693 [SPEAKER_01]: And so helping our kids understand their faith and fight these battles, it's a great time. 25:08.673 --> 25:34.461 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I love that truth to parents because sometimes it does feel really overwhelming like it's just too much and it seems like unfair that we have this little phone that has caused so much anxiety and so much change in the world but also it brings a lot of opportunity and our kids we do get to raise kids who are on fire for God because they have to be because it is really that's the only way to do it in today's world. 25:34.441 --> 25:42.310 [SPEAKER_02]: So, that's a good reminder, but we get the privilege of doing that right now, which is a bigger sensibility, but it is a privilege as well. 25:42.430 --> 25:46.855 [SPEAKER_02]: What are you hoping for parents who pick up this book for their kids? 25:47.075 --> 25:50.840 [SPEAKER_02]: What are you hoping that they take away parents and kids? 25:51.200 --> 25:51.901 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah. 25:52.261 --> 25:53.603 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a nifty little book. 25:53.643 --> 25:54.984 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a real pretty book. 25:55.565 --> 25:56.066 [SPEAKER_01]: It's beautiful. 25:56.086 --> 25:57.187 [SPEAKER_01]: That's not your question though. 25:57.307 --> 25:58.148 [SPEAKER_01]: That's not your question. 25:58.188 --> 25:59.149 [SPEAKER_02]: It's beautiful. 26:00.496 --> 26:04.266 [SPEAKER_01]: But you know, as I open it up, and I see a key verse, right? 26:04.286 --> 26:09.580 [SPEAKER_01]: Here's day 20, everyone who sees the sun and believes in him has eternal life. 26:09.921 --> 26:13.912 [SPEAKER_01]: Sitting down with, let's say, a ten year old and saying, what does that mean to you? 26:14.092 --> 26:16.699 [SPEAKER_01]: What does it mean to believe in somebody? 26:16.679 --> 26:18.682 [SPEAKER_01]: and having these kind of discussions. 26:19.002 --> 26:23.107 [SPEAKER_01]: I could see a conversation a night or a conversation at breakfast. 26:23.187 --> 26:23.568 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. 26:23.608 --> 26:26.652 [SPEAKER_01]: Growing up, raising our kids, breakfast was always chaotic. 26:26.732 --> 26:29.055 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if we could go a little bit off at breakfast. 26:29.075 --> 26:32.619 [SPEAKER_01]: But my oldest daughter says they do, so God bless her. 26:32.639 --> 26:38.907 [SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, so finding that with a little window of time in which you could just have a little five minute conversation. 26:38.887 --> 26:45.559 [SPEAKER_01]: And in what I have heard from parents forever is I'd love to have a spiritual chit chat with my kids. 26:45.900 --> 26:46.942 [SPEAKER_01]: I just don't know how. 26:47.162 --> 26:48.584 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know where to start. 26:48.985 --> 26:51.630 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how to tell them stories. 26:52.051 --> 26:52.732 [SPEAKER_01]: You know what? 26:53.073 --> 26:53.694 [SPEAKER_01]: Here's a tool. 26:53.874 --> 26:56.098 [SPEAKER_01]: Now it's just one of hundreds of tools. 26:56.278 --> 26:59.624 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not the tool above all tools, but it is a good one. 26:59.825 --> 27:00.646 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a good one. 27:00.987 --> 27:03.291 [SPEAKER_01]: It's got practical teaching, it's got 27:03.271 --> 27:08.298 [SPEAKER_01]: It's got wonderful scriptures for memorization, it's got a couple of questions you can use. 27:08.438 --> 27:10.361 [SPEAKER_01]: It got great color interior. 27:10.722 --> 27:11.723 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just a tool. 27:11.883 --> 27:21.617 [SPEAKER_01]: So what I would hope is that this particular book just becomes a staple in the homes of people who are wanting their kids to have more peace. 27:21.597 --> 27:21.857 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 27:22.218 --> 27:27.386 [SPEAKER_02]: Everyone wants to have more conversations with their kids and you're right that sometimes it's hard to know where to start. 27:27.466 --> 27:35.058 [SPEAKER_02]: So I appreciate that you have this resource, this strategy available to parents and I think it's just going to be really helpful. 27:35.138 --> 27:36.561 [SPEAKER_02]: So thank you very much. 27:36.641 --> 27:39.044 [SPEAKER_02]: And thank you for being with me today that we could talk about it. 27:39.065 --> 27:40.026 [SPEAKER_01]: It was a delight. 27:40.226 --> 27:41.168 [SPEAKER_01]: It was a delight. 27:41.588 --> 27:45.755 [SPEAKER_01]: Great to see you and I hope your year is off to a great start. 27:45.935 --> 27:46.556 [SPEAKER_01]: God bless you. 27:46.777 --> 27:47.638 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you. 27:47.618 --> 27:49.401 [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much for joining us today. 27:49.501 --> 27:54.769 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm very grateful to Pastor Max for the care that he shows family is through his writing and through his words. 27:55.190 --> 28:02.221 [SPEAKER_02]: I hope that you're leaving feeling equipped with hope and wisdom and tools that meet you right where you are and a few different strategies as well. 28:02.721 --> 28:05.165 [SPEAKER_02]: Don't forget to pick up a copy of Calm Thoughts for Kids. 28:05.245 --> 28:08.130 [SPEAKER_02]: I have it linked and shown out so it's really easy for you to find. 28:08.911 --> 28:10.173 [SPEAKER_02]: May the Lord bless you this week. 28:10.553 --> 28:13.558 [SPEAKER_02]: May he give you wisdom 28:13.538 --> 28:24.308 [SPEAKER_02]: Patients in the hard moments encouraged to have the conversations that matter, and may your kids come to know that they are deeply loved, never alone, and always held by a faithful God.