[SPEAKER_01]: Hi everyone and welcome back to room for us, a space where queer voices thrive.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host P and every single week I like to sit down, get vulnerable, and talk about all things queer with all of you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And for this week's episode I am so excited to welcome back a returning guest, the lovely Gay Italian Nona.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you've been listening for a while, you might remember that Nona joined Sarah and I back in 2023 when we were hosting this podcast as Girl Long Girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's been a hot minute, so I was thrilled to have Nona back on to catch up.
[SPEAKER_01]: In this conversation, we talk about the importance of queer representation, what it means to her to speak openly about being gay and Italian.
[SPEAKER_01]: Leaving the corporate world, her acting journey and how manifestation shows up in her day-to-day life.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was such a beautiful and open chat, and I'm so grateful to Nona for always being so vulnerable and sharing her voice with the community.
[SPEAKER_01]: Make sure to follow her across all her channels at Gay Italian Nona.
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope you enjoy this episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was thinking the last time you were on the pod.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was probably like over two years ago.
[SPEAKER_01]: People that we had you on for Girl on Girl and now you're coming on for room for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And thanks.
[SPEAKER_00]: At the last time I was on your podcast, The Girl On Girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: It like literally opened so many doors for me, so thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you have tea, like UTA.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like University of Toronto, but then a saga campus.
[SPEAKER_00]: They were like, come do a guest lecture and they were like, we found you through this.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, this is amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, no, thank you and also just watching you grow as well over the past few years, like there's so much to catch up on and it's like a no new person.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, seriously.
[SPEAKER_01]: For any new listeners, if you could give us like a brief introduction into who you are and what's been the most surprising or joyful shift in your life recently.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh.
[SPEAKER_00]: What a great fun question.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so hi, I'm Nanna.
[SPEAKER_00]: My actual name is a pmonica, but I don't really like when people call me monica.
[SPEAKER_00]: So just call me monanna.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been like give you permission to use monica if that makes sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I like Nanna for most.
[SPEAKER_00]: Who am I?
[SPEAKER_00]: I am a creator, based in Toronto.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a model, I'm an actor, I'm multi-fastened.
[SPEAKER_00]: was that multi-havenated?
[SPEAKER_00]: I do a little bit of everything, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's me and a little nutshell.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what the second part was like, what's brought me joy recently?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what's something like surprising or just something that's bringing you happiness right now?
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I took up candle baking, which I like don't even talk about online, but I started making candles and it's made me so happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just like get into my little zone.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm working with my hands.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a creative.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I love working with my hands and yeah, candle making.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: What a thought.
[SPEAKER_00]: But here I am making some candles.
[SPEAKER_00]: It must make your place smell so nice all the sense it does they do smell quite nice the thing is like I actually don't burn my own candles like I make them and then I give them so yeah, you know, it's really nice yes, but I did make one today is purple and it has petroleum as a scent.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you make any shapes?
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you doing like the different shapes where people can like display them?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, not really.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I just have in jars.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then there's one that's kind of like a hexagon shape.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I do have ones for like table.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's more of like the, you know, the long cylinder, though.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, yes, I guess you could display those, but most people use it for like dinner parties.
[SPEAKER_00]: I get some photos and they're like, we used your candle at dinners and I'm like fantastic.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a great skill too, honestly.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I would just say that.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a good way to just, you know, make my mind go quiet.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's a good good way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't out the 100%.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of even, like, as we get into these questions, I mean, I just talked to you about this because I feel like that's kind of the energy that a lot of us are kind of trying to bring into this year.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I've been focusing on that.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I do really like just being quiet our mind just needs peace.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and the world needs peace.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know it's best.
[SPEAKER_01]: Literally, it starts with the gaze.
[SPEAKER_01]: Bringing up like, no, no, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: Gay Italian, no, not as your name.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what's funny is I, naturally, like, even emailing you, I was like, I wanna say no, no, but then I'm like, I said Monica, and apologies for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think now I should just...
[SPEAKER_00]: You can say Monica, it's fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyone else, that's listening, call me Nona.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think of it more of my stage name.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know that sounds so silly, but I'm a very private person, truly private, and I live this life online, and I use it kind of as such a fierce to be on say, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or like, Lady Gaga to like, Stephanie, like,
[SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of my persona.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like that's my online.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if that makes sense.
[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, it does.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I love about your content, too, is that you bring in your Italian heritage with being a queer content creator in so many different ways.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I want to ask you like, how does your identity show up for you in your content and then in your personal life?
[SPEAKER_01]: So good.
[SPEAKER_00]: question, how does my identity show for me in my content?
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's interesting because I feel like when I was younger it was very much like I wanted to have like the lunchables and not the Italian food and like I just wanted to like the regular sandwich with like plain toast bread instead of lasagna wild you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or like I was embarrassed that I could speak it to it's such a weird mindset but like you know back in the day it's like yeah I could speak Italian but like
[SPEAKER_00]: It's almost like you want to like hide it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I always use the like, you know, my big fat Greek wedding.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we're like that Musa-kaseen, where it's like everyone's making fun of Rufi, like the Musa-kaseen.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, yeah, Hell, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would want Musa-kaseen for lunch.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think for me, like, how it shows up in my content is really just getting back to my roots.
[SPEAKER_00]: If that makes sense and just doing the things that I grew up with with pride.
[SPEAKER_00]: And being like, yes, this is who I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is how I was raised.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, these are the foods I've eaten.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, my comfort food is 100% like someone like goes out to get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's, I think the content for me is just really embracing my culture, embracing the italianists, and being proud of it, like truly proud and like proud the fact that I can speak the language and in a way, it's like showing up for me being like, this is who I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think for so long, I try not to be, who I was in many ways, and it's such a beautiful thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: that's kind of how I do it in my content, but also just kind of showing up in the sense of like Queerness is not really visible in Italian culture.
[SPEAKER_00]: If we even take a look at like Italy right now, you don't even have the right to adopt anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the government is just very, you know, conservative will call it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so there's a lot of things going backwards towards it, and even just like with the Roman Catholic Church being
[SPEAKER_00]: there.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, it's there.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, oh, yeah, like we, the gaze, whatever, but it's not really like integrated and like what could be possible from a life like life or family perspective in terms of like what should be done.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so just being able to show up as me proud of my heritage, proud of my culture, proud of being gay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm showing up for me and it has that ripple effect.
[SPEAKER_00]: on people where it's like, oh, I can see myself in that, like, I get so many messages that literally bring me to tears that are like, thank you for the Italian representation and things like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I show up for myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's things that I'm just proud of me authentically.
[SPEAKER_00]: Bye.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if that answer is your question.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was very long-winded.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, that's a beautiful answer.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think a lot of us can relate to what you were even saying about, like, hiding your identity when you were younger.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I also related to that being Indian Canadian.
[SPEAKER_01]: And just wanting so bad, like you said, to just have, like, these lunchables, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's what I've agreed.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, why?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's true, it's just always lunch balls and it's so funny, it's like I love any of food like my neighborhood, like growing up there's so much like Indian food and I love the smell so nostalgic and it's comforting and so yeah growing up like I would say more so in high school it definitely there was more culture is more like where you slowly become more proud as you
[SPEAKER_00]: get older and you want to like get back to your roots, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: So exactly and bring up the representation when you see it and more people talk about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so important.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like everyone's looking back at 2016.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, seriously.
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: 20, 20, 20, 16.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: right and it's interesting to see like how much can obviously change in a decade.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean I feel like we do know this answer but still I want to hear from you like what something you're doing now that you wish your past self could see.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know, I have to pick just one.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's literally everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm out and proud.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I remember it, 2016.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was so heavily closeted.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, I think that was the year where, you know, my family asked me if I was like gay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like my cousins asked me like, here you gay.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, no, no, like I'm not.
[SPEAKER_00]: like where I was like secretly texting girls and now I'm very much in a open queer relationship which is so beautiful so I wish that younger Monica could see that and be like yeah like it's okay you're fine because I was just so scared I was so scared of
[SPEAKER_00]: losing my family.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're great.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I love my family.
[SPEAKER_00]: I truly do.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I love showing them online because they are very welcoming and very included, inclusive.
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess it's the word where not necessarily all Italian families are.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I love showing that representation.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I wish you could like see that where it's like you are so scared for a what fucking reason,
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the thing that she would be gagged at the most is not working corporate.
[SPEAKER_00]: I truly think that would gag, like I feel like the gay thing, like, probably new, you know, like eventually there will be a time.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the corporate is a full,
[SPEAKER_00]: that's like a full gag.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't know if she saw that coming because like in my mind it was very much like I'm going to climb this corporate ladder and like get to like the top of the the chain and the corporate world and the beauty world and now that I'm just like not really in beauty or not incorporate like as mind-blowing where it's like I wish like 2006 Monica could see that.
[SPEAKER_01]: of me now were 2016 monica like it wasn't even a thought like it was just not even a fucking possibility yeah yeah it's but we're all conditioned to believe right so I think so we have us are now unlearning that we're trying to fit into what society tells you to do which is a lot of times you're just climbing up this ladder and yeah you were in beauty before you were makeup artist right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I was a national educator and then like strategist pretty much the beauty world which was crazy, but I spent like 14 years there like straight out of like some college to when I was pretty much 32, which was I think 32.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's crazy, it's literally crazy, but yeah it's like we're climbing up a ladder and I'm like
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not even my ladder, I want to climb, like what I'm doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to go climb my own ladder and climb my own dreams.
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, it's very interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like this is what you should do to be deemed successful and society or acceptable from society's point of view.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's not actually what makes you happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's kind of like, well, you don't,
[SPEAKER_00]: This is what you should be doing to be happy, but like, it's not what makes you happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's kind of like a weird thing, if that makes sense to adjust you.
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I'm proud of myself there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's the biggest gag.
[SPEAKER_00]: She saw that, she'd be like, no fucking way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ain't no way.
[SPEAKER_01]: Ain't no way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ain't no way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Look at me now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Truly.
[SPEAKER_00]: It felt employed and not necessarily like kind of in the beauty world, but not in the beauty world directly.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just mind blowing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and even how like some of these skills that you can take from that into being self-employed and diving into like creative projects or things that make you happy, like those skills don't just go away.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like you can take a little bit even from the corporate world.
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all transferable skills, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm I'm very grateful.
[SPEAKER_00]: for my path, like a lot of people are like, I wish I could rewrite history and be like, come out and I'm like, no, I like my path because it gave me the skills, it gave me the tools, it gave me the lessons that I needed to like get me to where I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I wouldn't be where I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: I fit weren't for that, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, a lot of it is,
[SPEAKER_00]: like storytelling, which I learned through corporate, a lot of it is interpersonal communication relationship building that I learned through corporate, you know, being able to like strategize and come up with like a brand idea, it's all from corporate, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's very interesting like those transferable skills, like everything kind of like fits into a puzzle, like you need to learn something here to get it here and it might not make sense in the moment,
[SPEAKER_01]: 100% and I think it's really good to have that mindset instead of something that's like I don't understand or this doesn't seem like it's the right path for me, but I'm aligned with that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think like even if it takes some time, you're always going to be taking those skills no matter where you go, going towards what fits.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, no, I do love this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you into the Chinese astrology?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like the year of the horse, the year of the snake, do you get into that?
[SPEAKER_00]: I, like I learned about it through friends that are, like our Chinese, also through TikTok.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like TikTok, TikTok University.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I've learned a lot about that and just like, yeah, in general, I would say I'm very,
[SPEAKER_00]: intuitive if that makes sense like very witchy in my own ways, um, but in terms of like the year at the horse and the year of the snake, it does absolutely like when I'm hearing these things and like yeah, that does check out like it absolutely makes so much sense, um, because I feel like collectively like 2025, everyone was like, what the fuck was that?
[SPEAKER_01]: It was what the fuck was that, you know, everyone, yeah, when we got to the end of the year, we're all like, can this be done?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, we need a change, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and it's not done yet.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and it's still, it's still going.
[SPEAKER_00]: We still have another, what, two, three weeks?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think it's mid February, so, right, February 17th.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we're still in our shedding phase.
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm still shedding.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I'm done shedding.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm really done.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, but I love shedding.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's something like, when it comes with change, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, there's always the things of like, I don't know if you're like into terror or you're into anything like that, but it's like the crumble, the tower, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you kind of need everything to like just kind of crumble and full flatten order to like rebuild.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it just doesn't make sense to like, try and glue pieces back together.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it's just not gonna have a sturdy base.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, money as well, just like demolish it and then start.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, right, like it, and if we think of it like as
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, flowers or things like that, like I've heard so many analogies and people, these, again, this is not, this is just, be grudgeritating what I've been told and heard.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, oh, you know, your flower is like, they eventually die, but like there's growth from that, and it's okay to like, shed and let go or a snake would die if they didn't shed their skin.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so there's so many beautiful ways and beautiful messages that come from it in the moment, it's absolutely a fucking bullshit, though.
[SPEAKER_00]: see the other side if that makes sense or to kind of know like oh this is not happening to me it's happening for me it's hard in that moment to be able to like come to terms with it I think that's where we like this whole like toxic positivity comes in where it's like
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it's happening, but you need to be able to acknowledge it in the moment like you need to be able to like deal and feel with all of those like things that you're shedding and like sit with them and have conversations with them and I've done a lot a lot of like somatic therapy work and like for me it's a lot of shedding of fear a lot of shedding of like not necessarily yes people to but not necessarily but it's more so shedding.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think within myself, but it's like every day, I kind of have those conversations with my demons.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're all in the car.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just in the driver's seat, so yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it's so true.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think why people are so excited about the year of the horse is even what the horse symbolizes in a way.
[SPEAKER_01]: And with, you know, it's courage, it's energy.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like fast movement.
[SPEAKER_01]: And for this year, what themes do you want to bring with you?
[SPEAKER_00]: I love this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay so themes for this year is bravery.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's like a big one bravery because there's a lot of fear like fear and being seen or fear of like upsetting something like a lot of fear right but you have to be brave.
[SPEAKER_00]: Theme also and groundedness like just being grounded and who I am and like being able to ground myself if there are things
[SPEAKER_00]: being brave and I'm trying to think what would the last one be?
[SPEAKER_00]: I think just like belief in myself, I don't know how you would categorize that, but like on wavering belief in myself, I think that I've always had that, but it's wavers.
[SPEAKER_00]: people online don't see it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I see it, but that's all that matters.
[SPEAKER_01]: And in that belief in itself or yourself, I even recorded an episode where I was saying like, we all need to be delusional in 2026.
[SPEAKER_01]: Meaning like Rick and Lately go in with that delusional energy because like who cares?
[SPEAKER_01]: I
[SPEAKER_01]: agree.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I can be really hard on myself too at times or you feel like some things just don't seem like it's it's true to you, but I'm always like, why not?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Go for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: What are you bringing?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so curious.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm nosy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, what are you bringing?
[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to share, you don't have to, but
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm I'm happy to talk about this honestly.
[SPEAKER_01]: This has been what my partner and I have been talking about like for months now just what we want to like bring into this year and I think the word intention is a really big one for me and with that I think it's being intentional about
[SPEAKER_01]: the energy's on around what I'm like you know it's it's huge like what I'm choosing to even do daily projects I'm working on because I think that can actually lead to something more powerful when you're not just like spreading your energy everywhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: couldn't agree more.
[SPEAKER_00]: I could not agree more, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the more you kind of have holes in your cup, the harder it is to fill.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yes, couldn't agree more.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I mean, I might take that sound bite for myself this year.
[SPEAKER_00]: So thanks.
[SPEAKER_01]: Intention, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, I mean, I feel like sometimes I'm very, I'm very easygoing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm recovering people, please,
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to share it on here because I'm like there's probably tons of people that are queer and listen and it's like, why don't you go to queer events anymore?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, it's not that I don't want to but, well, it's not that I don't want to support.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me take that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to support.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that they exist.
[SPEAKER_00]: Those environments are not good for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Those environments train my energy being in a bar with drunk people and good for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it, it's also I'm someone that
[SPEAKER_00]: hates large crowds, so why would I go to somewhere that is not good for me?
[SPEAKER_00]: mentally where it's going to take me longer to recover.
[SPEAKER_00]: So being intentional, I still want to be with queer community, but I want more one on one time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want more like, let's go sit and like talk over a coffee or let's go like craft.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I love that where I don't have to yell over loud music or or things like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So being able to
[SPEAKER_00]: be intentional with my energy when it comes to that stuff is super important because they're like, you don't go out anymore, but I'm like, well, do you want to see me?
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's hang out.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's really going to come down to like, let's come on over.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll make you dinner.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, to me, that is kind of intention versus being in an environment that is going to make me overstimulated.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I going to go somewhere that's going to make me over-simulated?
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to do that stuff for work.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to pick my battles.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go to an environment that's going to over-simulate me.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's going to eventually make me money or is it going to, like, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if that makes sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's okay, it's okay not to go to those things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't mean you're not queer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't mean you're not gay.
[SPEAKER_00]: It just means that you're protecting your own boundaries.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're protecting your own energy and you're being intentional.
[SPEAKER_01]: So true.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's good.
[SPEAKER_01]: I, because I think there's also a pressure to sometimes show up.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're definitely not the only one who feels that I'm sure there's so many people who are out being like, I kind of wish I stayed in a lot of people feel that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I love that you're being honest about it because I don't know if people love to admit it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, hopefully this encourages someone to.
[SPEAKER_00]: it took me a while to admit it, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, oh, like, it is a weird thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, oh, I'm not going to these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not queer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm not like, what does that mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: You're queer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Keep it at that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do what's best for you?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's like, that's like what corona is is, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, being authentically you.
[SPEAKER_00]: authentically, would love to cook your dinner and stay in and chat.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, seriously, and I feel like, as the years have gone on to, those like one-on-one relationships are like connecting with people in the community through that has been so much more meaningful for me than going to such a large event.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I actually moved to Vancouver over a year ago, I was in Toronto before.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I remember you were that we were in Toronto.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was, and Vancouver's amazing, I'm trying to discover the queer scene here, but it's interesting going as someone who didn't know anybody, I felt like it was so much quieter.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, finally like alone with my own feelings and my thoughts without knowing such a big community in Toronto, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: that's it's hard like it's I think it's finding balance too right like having the community but that one on one it's different yes it's definitely different I want to know if you're into manifesting I feel like you kind of did say this like you're yeah you're like absolutely
[SPEAKER_00]: I say I'm the luckiest person because you are.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am.
[SPEAKER_01]: What does manifesting look like for you day to day if you're comfortable sharing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should be charging everyone for this critical information.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm joking.
[SPEAKER_00]: You get it for free.
[SPEAKER_00]: I look at that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm totally totally joking.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that it,
[SPEAKER_00]: should be shared on a wide spectrum.
[SPEAKER_00]: So please, if you're listening, take notes because I feel like I'm a queen of manifesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think with manifesting, there's like, you have to like fully be able to like feel it and embody it for it to kind of happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you could say to yourself, like,
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna win $100.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna win $100, but you actually need to like, properly like, feel it in the body if that makes sense of like, what does it feel like when you win $100, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: How does your body like, okay, you picture yourself like, I'm a daydreamer and that's really when it comes down to like a daydream a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so like, I daydream in that scenario of like, oh my god, what would I feel like, oh my god, I feel so excited.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I like sit in that emotion quite a bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I tend to like, you know, write it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like write future letters to myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's kind of like tricking your mind into like believing it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's so interesting and I could truly talk about this for hours because there's like psychology around it.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's like science behind it.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's like neuroscience, like the people call it witchcraft.
[SPEAKER_00]: People call it prayer.
[SPEAKER_00]: People call it manifestation.
[SPEAKER_00]: No matter what you call it, it's all kind of like the same.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you have to truly believe it and feel it to know if that makes sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like if full embodiment, but from a manifesting piece like,
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all so doing, if that makes sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can manifest, but you also have to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if I'm saying, I'm going to use this example.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to win $100.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I could fully feel and believe that I'm going to win $100.
[SPEAKER_00]: But
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to like a enter a contest or like be like buy a lottery ticket right so it's like knowing and feeling like oh this is the winning ticket and like maybe I only win five dollars on the app it's like hey I still won like and it's kind of like like building a muscle.
[SPEAKER_01]: like they said it's like building a muscle because I think that's also like the way the mind works even treating your mind.
[SPEAKER_01]: They say that related as if you're training your body at the gym honestly.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the same thing and I think with those thoughts of believing in yourself and believing what's possible.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's also good for like a mind shift.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it's a great sign like that, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's frequency, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're like there and you're like, oh, I'm actually not going to win $100, but I'm going to help myself on winning $100, we'll thoughts become reality, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And like words become reality.
[SPEAKER_00]: So just really being mindful of like speaking.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if
[SPEAKER_00]: if I'm saying, oh man, I'm so unlucky.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so, well, no fucking shade, you're gonna be on Lucky Beach because you're putting it out there in the universe to where I'm like, such a swear or like, look at that, I'm not, I'm laughing because like, how I've been so guilty of that, like, just being like,
[SPEAKER_01]: I can get into a negative mindset.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, hello, if I keep thinking this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, what's going to show up, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like 100%.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and we're all guilty.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're all human, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I like to say, like, every day, I talked to my demons.
[SPEAKER_00]: My demons are actually there.
[SPEAKER_00]: I talk to them daily.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like that darkness, like hello, darkness, mild friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, truly, those are my friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're in my car before they were driving it, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Where it's like the fear of like, oh, like you're never going to do this because of blah, blah, blah, blah.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm letting those thoughts drive it so I could be saying one thing, but what's happening behind the wheel is not happening.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I could be in my GPS, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the GPS being like, turn right to become super famous.
[SPEAKER_00]: But my demon is driving a fear being like, you're never going to get slay with your never going to get wealthy and it's going to make a fucking left turn.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like meeting that
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is truly, thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have an amazing, somatic therapist who's wonderful and like therapy in general.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like this takes a lot of work, you know, also like intuition and stuff, but I use that car analogies.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what my therapist shared with me, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, wow, so nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: So shout out to Jen, she's great.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but we don't, so yeah, I think that is kind of something where it's like, yeah, you just truly have to like embody it like properly and say like, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, why are you feeling this way?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, guess cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I hear you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I see you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Those fears are valid.
[SPEAKER_00]: I understand that, but I'm driving this car.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I know I'm going to get that and like kind of being able to then.
[SPEAKER_00]: take the verbal GPS that you're saying, also drive it, and now you're driving so you can see it, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, it's all in there.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if anyone under's hearing this will be like, she's what is she smoking, but I'm smoking life.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm kidding.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't want whatever you're smoking.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, all right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel like that's please.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I think, yeah, it's just being able to like, fully embody it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then that can come with prayer too, like, however, whatever religion you believe in, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, if you feel it, when you believe it, like, you know, it's gonna happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: So whether it's prayer, whether it's like manifestation or journaling or you know, candle lighting, all of that stuff, it's all.
[SPEAKER_00]: ritual, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all forms of manifestation.
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's so many ways that you could do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's my favorite thing to talk about, but words truly speak reality.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's why I go back to what I'm lucky.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yes, I am lucky.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I say it, then more that you're going to be like, oh, I'm so lucky and then something luck is going to happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like, yeah, I'm lucky.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, wow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to cause so lucky?
[SPEAKER_00]: Cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now people are, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: There we go.
[SPEAKER_01]: What would you say to someone who's super skeptical about manifestation if they're like, no, that doesn't work?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it doesn't work because you're saying it doesn't work.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to like to me if someone says it, it doesn't work.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not going to work.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to argue with you because you're in the mindset that it doesn't work.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, that's actually a really good way to put it because it's like there's no point in arguing if someone's mindset is already like, no, I don't really believe in this or they don't see it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, how can that be?
[SPEAKER_01]: But I truly think energy is so powerful.
[SPEAKER_01]: We are energy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, everything's energy and that's why like people who are so intuitive and when you feel things even when you're Down certain people.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like why else do we feel that or sometimes when you have such a reaction yeah to something It's like that's not nothing
[SPEAKER_00]: It's something exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I always say like your body knows first, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and then your body holds on to everything the most.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, sometimes just can't explain it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just like you just know you're definitely intuitive, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I know you have gifts, which gift.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm very, well my mom is very intuitive.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's someone who can also, like, as I was growing up, she would get certain vibes off of people by just like reading their face.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And she'll claim it.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, no, no, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to be...
[SPEAKER_01]: She's very humble about it, I'll say, like she doesn't like to be out here being like, I know these things, but it's just a vibe, she'll get, she consent someone's energy right away barely has to talk about them and get a little bit of a sense of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm pretty intuitive too.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I've gotten better.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would ignore my intuition, like, all the time, same, but I'm learning to trust it and yeah, I just turned 32.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think like, as I'm, as I thank you, as I'm in this, um,
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd say just turned 30.
[SPEAKER_01]: I guess it's been a few months.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was September.
[SPEAKER_01]: But.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we're all right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Libra.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm just in this decade, learning to believe in myself, trust myself.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I've always been like a spiritual personal stage, just meaning like I'm very into the universe.
[SPEAKER_01]: I like to speak to the universe.
[SPEAKER_01]: I write things down.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm leaning into that a little bit more and being less like shy about it, I guess.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, beside it.
[SPEAKER_00]: 100%.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's leaning into your like intuition and just like knowing and it's again like a muscle, like the more you trust it, the stronger it gets.
[SPEAKER_00]: the more that you can kind of build up, trusting relationship, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you're like, wow, like look, and then that's when the gratitude comes in and like, and that's a super high frequency, too.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like gratitude is truly the highest, so.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I get it, I get like why some people are very like, why it and they like they don't want to share because like you never know, I like Italians, we believe in like the evil eye.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, there is it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Does Indian culture have like an evil eye?
[SPEAKER_00]: What does it call?
[SPEAKER_01]: the, I thought from what I know, I think it's also called the evil eye.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the line.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like exactly right.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like I understand that because it's not scary on its own.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause it's like you don't want to tell people what you're meant like like saying because that's someone is going to, what is it like move in silence, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And then whatever, but you can still be doing the work, because yeah, people are praying, there could be people praying on your down people.
[SPEAKER_00]: Paramah don't fall all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's energy.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just say thank you for the energy.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, thank you for just watching my content.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for getting engagement.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you signed your recent.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've noticed that too, especially when people, it's always good to be cautious.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think there's a degree of being open, but I've also struggled with being sometimes too open, telling people like everything and
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I know, I know, and that's why it's like, you know, just be, have a little more discretion because you might not, yeah, yeah, exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, because you don't even know who around you could be silently wishing on your downfall 100%.
[SPEAKER_00]: 100% and that brings us to the year of the stake.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we're shedding all of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we're shedding it exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, definitely like know who you're who know who people are, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And like also use your intuition and buy it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But keep the things that you really want, like close to you and just in your prayer or your manifestation, just for your eyes.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really believe in that, you know, so I think that's why a lot of people are like, it's between me and God because it's just there, you know, I say God because I was raised Catholic, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, 100%.
[SPEAKER_00]: So much energy.
[SPEAKER_00]: We do.
[SPEAKER_00]: We say our prayers for protection.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's why sometimes I also think it's like when you notice your circle starts to get smaller or you'll even crave just like select energies.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's a really really beautiful thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, 100%.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's nothing wrong with that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's it's not like you can still be friendly to everyone.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's not like, oh, like you cut it's just it's it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I edit 100%.
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it's even like family that doesn't even get in there.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Frequency.
[SPEAKER_01]: What I actually wanted to point out about your content that I've been watching for so many years now.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're very vulnerable.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not afraid to just get on and use you speak truth.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's why a lot of people resonate with you because you're very real.
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't sugarcoat anything.
[SPEAKER_01]: How would you describe your relationship with vulnerability?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's scary.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's beautiful at the same time.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I use social media as a form of like, we'll say healing as a part of my healing journey.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think I come up with like a creative way to like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Share my thoughts like a lot of the times like in my captions or in my voice over is like these are true demons that I've been dealing with right and so there's a way to like kind of bring it like full picture like some people write music or some people like do that and like I write content like I write things.
[SPEAKER_00]: to let it out and it's kind of like my final, like, here we go, not final, like what's always things.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think with vulnerability, you kind of, I don't know, for me, it's just its human, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I think this world lacks a little bit of vulnerability, like, and that's why we're in such a weird world.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's, it's looked down upon to be vulnerable, it's looked down upon to share
[SPEAKER_00]: more people would feel seen or feel heard.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know for me, I wish I heard more about this stuff, like growing up or in my 20s, things like that, or even so like when people are sharing it, I'm like, wow, like that's impactful.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's just a way to like help bring light to the world if that makes sense, but it's still scary because it's like you're taking this like wrong thing about you, that you're struggling with.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you're just like, here you go, world.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here you go, and some people should on it, or if I were to think in my mind, all what if these people are just sending it to themselves and laughing or putting it in group chats or things like that, it is what it is if it impacts one person positively great.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all I need, you know, I don't need to, I kind of forget about the rest and say, well, if it help one person, amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Trying to share the light and yeah, I don't know if that answers your question.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's scary, it's vulnerable, it's be vulnerable, but I think like for me, I just really try and focus on the impact.
[SPEAKER_00]: and not the like, other shit that comes with it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, if someone feels seen amazing, like, I'm not, yeah, I'm never gonna sugar-coach it because I just don't think that's realistic, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, no, I'm not gonna be one of those sugar-coated fairy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I am a fairy, don't get me wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I do think, like, mad, if people are like, you're so positive, this isn't this, and I'm like, yeah, I'm positive because I need to be, or else I'm gonna literally,
[SPEAKER_00]: throw my, you know what I mean, but I'll try my best.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're all trying my best.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, yeah, I'm positive.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, but what people don't see is that, like, yeah, there's a lot of demons behind that, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, but again, I've befriended my demons.
[SPEAKER_00]: I talk to them daily, please.
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, well, seriously, I actually love this, like, speaking with your demons.
[SPEAKER_01]: I spoke about this on a podcast episode, but I've been kind of on a journey with OCD.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's undiagnosed right now, but I truly believe, like, I've been doing the research.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, this is very much me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been currently looking into therapists for a speaking to the vulnerability.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, when I've seen people speak out about this, because like, now my TikTok has found TikTok University.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm now there.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, thank goodness.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I feel so seen and seeing other people relate to it because it's such a large spectrum of that and the specific one I was finding, I'm like, okay, this is what I needed and thank goodness for creators who are openly speaking about this, cause like, I am sitting there being like, I feel very seen.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's happened with queerness when I first started seeing queer content creators posting and even for you with the representation of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Italian content creators who are, or people seeing you and they're feeling, yeah, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like this, it gives hope, it gives hope, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it gives, it gives hope, it gives light.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that you found like you're feeling seen.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's great.
[SPEAKER_00]: That makes me so happy to hear.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I, I think that, and that's impactful.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is because it kind of makes you feel like, okay, now I, one, I know I'm not alone in this because sometimes when you don't even know what the feelings are,
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank God, I'm feel so, I don't want to talk about it, it feels scary, but then when you see that, it even, you know, help me open up to my partner about it, even talk to my family about it, just being like, this is what I believe it is, and I'm going to continue to do research, but at least I have an answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think that's great.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you get the tools to help you, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you can do the therapy, you can do the things that like help, that help, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's being able to like confront it, acknowledge it, like speak to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you can kind of do that shadow work, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, yes, it's a beautiful journey.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think when I say beautiful,
[SPEAKER_00]: journey.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't always mean butterflies and rainbows, and I think a lot of people think that, hey, it's probably going to be real.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's probably going to be hell, a little bit like confronting certain things.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's going to be ups.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's going to be downs.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't know, I'm just assuming even with my journey, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's a, but it's a journey, you know, and you kind of have to go through a dark tunnel, but at the end of the tunnel, there's light.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's quite beautiful because once you understand how it's affecting you and
[SPEAKER_00]: use like I think of it with like my neuro divergence right I'm like oh like kind of like I'm going to use this as like I understand the tools that I need to like make it easier.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Definitely.
[SPEAKER_01]: Love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I'm excited for your journey, friend.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And, and same to you, like, I'm just keeping, keep doing it, honestly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your content does build space for queer stories and voices.
[SPEAKER_01]: What's one thing you still feel like people don't talk enough about?
[SPEAKER_01]: If there's something, I don't mean to put you on your spot.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, it's all good.
[SPEAKER_00]: What people...
[SPEAKER_00]: don't talk about enough like I would still say it's kind of like that mental health piece like if people are talking about it I think the more people talk about it or more like the more people kind of share like the struggles it is easier um it's just such a hard thing it's a hard thing you know but I'm trying to think like what exactly probably like yeah I think mental health
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think we've gotten to a place where we are talking about it, but it's still heavily stigmatized.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think until we get to a place where it's not a stigmatized, I will forever be saying mental health.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think, you know, yeah, yeah, I would say, I would say that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and I would say the queer community is pretty open to mental health, we're all very like acknowledging of it, et cetera,
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the nonqueer spaces are like people that are allies that are now like learning and watching like being able to say, oh, you're not just fucking crazy like you're there's something that we're all dealing with with, you know, and so it affects everyone to all the effects everyone not necessarily you don't have to be queer could be could be anyone you could be a
[SPEAKER_00]: straight person.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's, I don't know why I said it was like straight person.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, like a cringe no, I'm jumping.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think mental health affects everyone and I do wish people more people talk about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Especially in the corporate world.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the corporate world with mental health is like not, it's volatile, it's volatile.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think if I were to get very niche that, that's a really good answer because it's, yes we're in 2026, but we're still not talking about it enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's a huge stigma, still a vast mental health.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when did you leave corporate world if you're comfortable with me asking?
[SPEAKER_00]: for.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, good for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it was 2024.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, we're 2023.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it was 23.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, 2023 September of 2023.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's been a while.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we're right.
[SPEAKER_00]: It feels it honestly it feels like yesterday.
[SPEAKER_00]: It feels like yesterday and it's taking me.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's taking me three years.
[SPEAKER_00]: to heal from burnout.
[SPEAKER_00]: That burnout that it gives you, that it gives you, and then granted, the burnout is like accumulated.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like a snowball of like many things of like me being in the closet.
[SPEAKER_00]: Me, it was so many things, but the burnout that's specifically the corporate world gives you is insane.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like I need financial criticism.
[SPEAKER_00]: like you know those things that are like you could be receiving financial compensation if you went through corporate credit like truly you know and it doesn't really like matter the company whatever it's it's the environment of a corporate America in general that like go go go you have to work
[SPEAKER_00]: 70, two hours in a 24 hour day like the deadlines the pressure or the rush like and it's I think it's just the environment in which North America is, you know, like your app does not have that shit like you go to Italy and they shut down from one to three p.m. like literally to just
[SPEAKER_00]: relax, but it's this North American lifestyle that we find.
[SPEAKER_00]: The grind, it like people are gram glamorizing the grind.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel that's so fucked up.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's my thoughts.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that's my new rant that I need to talk about online.
[SPEAKER_00]: corporate america or corporate america.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's just it ain't you like it ain't cute to be burned out like in your soul out of touch with your body because you're going and you're going and then you're trying to deal with like family and relationships and kids and in flesh it's so it's just exhausting it's an exhausting thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, what are we doing here?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like even with post-COVID and working remotely too, I now, everyone is so attached to their computers.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, when do you even really separate that now?
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a really good one because I saw this video and it was like, no, I will not be going above and beyond.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will not be circling back.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will not.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, yeah, because
[SPEAKER_00]: 100%.
[SPEAKER_00]: If there's one place I would never step foot again.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's corporate America.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think it's I think it's actual how it hells a place on earth.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's corporate America.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's your tag flying right there.
[SPEAKER_01]: There we go.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the title.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the third.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's good.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm telling you don't 100%.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And like you could work with the most amazing people all of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just it's the culture.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think if anything, it's a lot of people love their co-workers if you work with great people and that could be the thing that uplifts you.
[SPEAKER_01]: But if it's the culture, it's draining and no, I've really to you on that.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a lot and I've had some of my worst mental health moments with corporate.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, 100% but God forbid, you say something and then it's like this whole like,
[SPEAKER_00]: it affects your career and it hinders you back and then it's actually so fucked up to to be in a place where it's like hey like I actually need help and then you go and you get help and then you're looked at like your incompetent you looked that you're looked at like you're incapable like it's so
[SPEAKER_00]: wild, and it's like the moment you speak up, you become a disruptor, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, oh, you have this fucking target.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I get it, because I've worked on the side of like they always have like different categories of workers, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like your gold stars, you have like your potential, whatever, and then you have like your like disruptors, what will happen?
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to be like cheerleaders, but like your cheerleaders are very influential.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're in cheerleaders, then become unhappy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Guess what?
[SPEAKER_00]: can be brought down, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's why they want to like shoot you down.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is this video or people are going to see like we're tightening a like shoot you down?
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a gun in my hand.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's my fingers.
[SPEAKER_00]: For in case you're listening.
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, it's so crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like you put your just might as well put a giant red ax on your on your back.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a target.
[SPEAKER_00]: A target.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's my thoughts.
[SPEAKER_00]: That was, I was not expecting that to come up, but yeah, that did come up.
[SPEAKER_01]: As you left corporate, did you always have this creative, you definitely had this creative side to you where you were like, I need to just go full force with that, like, what was that transition like?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I just quit on a random Tuesday because I was like, I really fucking can't do those shit anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: loved the team to couldn't do it mentally, emotionally, just couldn't.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I did end a working for like a smaller agency in social and I learned a lot and like even that was very different from corporate, you know, like it's tied to corporate in a way, but it's not like there.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, transferable skills and all of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it wasn't until like I parted ways with that agency.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no shade.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I think Glominated was literally just.
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, this is not a good fit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am a creator.
[SPEAKER_00]: I shouldn't be behind the scenes.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's really what it came down to.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I didn't qualify for EI because I was getting some portion of income through my social media, although it wasn't my full-time thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't qualify for EI, and there was no way in how I was going to go.
[SPEAKER_00]: Back to corporate, so I had a little bit of savings.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thankfully, I'm grateful for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, well, I'm either going to sink or fucking swim.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I used that as a fire under my ass.
[SPEAKER_00]: and did that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, yeah, that's why I say, yeah, I'm a creator, but I also, like, I'm a rakey practitioner.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't say it on my social, but like, I do rakey.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's like many different forms of like income that like, you know, most of most creative people do with love for it to be just one acting.
[SPEAKER_00]: That would be like the dream.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's the, you know, the goal, but that's not the goal.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is the goal.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I know it is the goal.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I think there's that creative in me, but even when I have that mean source of income, like that's it, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still always going to be like, I need to work with my hands.
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to do something and yeah, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think I can, I just want to act because I've like the ultimate creation for me, you know, so that's exciting when did you get into acting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think like if you were to ask me as a kid, like I've always loved it, you know, like my dad was he taught theater, like Italian theater at the university.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so like I just grew up around that and I love it so much and like I'd always, you know,
[SPEAKER_00]: do my public speaking and whatnot.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I'm just, I'm at a point where I'm like, well, let's just, let's just fucking go.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, let's try it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's, let's go for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I sort of took some acting classes at second city.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, good.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I'm in improv and I'm like, it's good.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, that's the journey.
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you feel about improv?
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like that would terrify me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I got I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is scary.
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually like I brought my girlfriends coming with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're doing it together.
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of people in the class do it just to like get out of their comfort zone.
[SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of people are like, I work in finance and like,
[SPEAKER_00]: They're there and they're just trying it or they're just like, oh, I work in like sales and like this helps me like get out of my shell and like communicate better and be more people, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's so smart.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's a great way to get out of your comfort zone and kind of into your learning zone.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I think it, I mean, I'm looking for, I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm looking forward to learning more.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think it's a really good challenge even like you said just even to improve on your people skills like literally just to have conversations and like your banter or like Getting that creative space and just I feel like people are so open anyway, so it's like I know it's scary, but everyone's like you're good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think like it's interesting because like we talk about improv and like it's very healing to your inner child because if you think of kids right like the way that my teacher said it it's like when you see kids on the playground it's like okay uh you're a robber and I'm a cop let's go and you just play and you just
[SPEAKER_00]: you're not overthinking it right like you're just like bang bang I'm gonna shoot you ah well I'm gonna and you just get into this whole like heated argument and that's real you know like yeah and so that's kind of like what our teacher is just like when you're here you're a 10 year old again and so it's just like yeah let's just be silly and goofy and
[SPEAKER_00]: like have fun like as long as you're respectful and you're not saying any of the like yes which is like you know homophobia or like the like transform or you know like a certain reason wouldn't be like the isums right but like you know what i'm saying like you don't want to do any of that as long as you're respectful have fun
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that you're doing that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm excited to see what happens for you with like this acting journey too.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks.
[SPEAKER_00]: Next time you'll see me maybe it will be like, have a move from here.
[SPEAKER_00]: Put me on your pod.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, we were saving the story.
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: I will add for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I will always, anytime you ask me, I will always be on that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I will be living in Hollywood and doing all that.
[SPEAKER_00]: You send me a message, girl, I'm there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Perfect.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love this.
[SPEAKER_01]: We did kind of talk about this briefly about like the year of the horse and what themes are calling you this year.
[SPEAKER_01]: But if you could choose one word, you want to bring with you into 2026, just one word and it could be like just the energy for what this year is going to bring.
[SPEAKER_01]: What is the word?
[SPEAKER_00]: BAME!
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I was very uncomfortable with the varned fame, and so this is my year of saying, no, fame, fame girl, like that's, that's it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's beautiful, and you're, I also, I love this energy of like a, it's like this, I don't give a fuck energy, and I'm gonna like,
[SPEAKER_01]: go in and like do all the things I really want to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you're just your page really emulates that seriously.
[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I always love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Pure graduation.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's always interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just put the shit out there and like
[SPEAKER_00]: People have so many different thoughts in a pan, so I'm like, oh, it's always so cool to hear.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the vibe you get.
[SPEAKER_00]: Great, check.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the feeling I'm really don't care anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I really don't care.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't care if it gets 100 views, I really don't give a shit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing it for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Keep doing it for you, the community loves you and like having your voice.
[SPEAKER_00]: Seriously, I mean, I think you are doing an old school heart emoji for those that are listening.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, go in my age.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you're channeling the famed Lady Gaga.
[SPEAKER_01]: Isn't called the famed or the famed much?
[SPEAKER_01]: I think she has the famed was her album title.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I could ask you a bad gay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me Google this for a moment.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's the famed 2008 or nine just dance poker face.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe that's your album.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you're right.
[SPEAKER_00]: The famed her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love this.
[SPEAKER_00]: There we go.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was talking to one of my friends recently and they keep me young.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was saying something.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was just like, hey, okay, we'll try it this time and they replied hot and sexy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, that is my news.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I'm gonna take that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, that's hot and sexy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, me too.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, oh.
[SPEAKER_00]: and taking that, thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can add, yeah, theme.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, now I feel like I need to go listen to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a good little coincidence thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I think I haven't heard anything happen for a reason.
[SPEAKER_01]: There you go.
[SPEAKER_01]: And honestly, that album, though, alone, it's so good.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like an album I go to all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's for sure a witch, like I believe it.
[SPEAKER_01]: She manifested her whole career.
[SPEAKER_00]: She absolutely did say that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ariana Grande.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Queens.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, now I'm going to go listen.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go listen to that album.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go read the lyrics and everything too.
[SPEAKER_00]: So.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I will.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for coming back on.
[SPEAKER_01]: This was such a lovely healing conversation.
[SPEAKER_01]: And no seriously it was.
[SPEAKER_01]: I always appreciate you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And, like, love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Likewise.
[SPEAKER_00]: Next time I'm on it, I'm going to be in a movie.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to be like, we need to do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hallelujah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to take me to Hollywood so I can be there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's sad.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're no G girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you were like my first podcast ever, so let's go.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I guess even when we had done the podcast, we were still pretty early on to it.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's been fun to just like even look back and see like the changes from one to the last till now.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Going to be good.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be a big podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're already going to be in Hollywood.
[SPEAKER_00]: There you go.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you there?
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll be there together.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to hang out.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll have dinner.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That would bring me joy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a gate from Vogue.