WEBVTT 00:02.225 --> 00:05.131 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey everyone, welcome to the Christian Parenting Podcast. 00:05.251 --> 00:15.372 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host, Steph Thirling, and today's episode is one of those conversations that feels like you're sitting down with a friend who makes you laugh, makes you think, and gently calls you back to what actually matters. 00:15.493 --> 00:20.503 [SPEAKER_01]: My guest is Cynthia Yanov, and if you've been around Christian parenting for a while, you know who she is. 00:20.483 --> 00:34.885 [SPEAKER_01]: Cynthia was the original host of Part in the Mess podcast, and she's back today to talk about her new book, How I Missed That, which is basically all about those moments in your faith where something you've known forever suddenly hits you with fresh new and kind of conflicting perspective. 00:35.186 --> 00:42.998 [SPEAKER_01]: We talk about love being our brand as Christians, what it looks like to live your faith in ordinary everyday moments and why the small things 00:42.978 --> 00:47.525 [SPEAKER_01]: The mustard seed size things are often the ones that make the biggest impact over time. 00:48.006 --> 00:53.154 [SPEAKER_01]: Cynthia also shares this idea of creating your own personal mountain rush more, so listen to the end for that. 00:53.715 --> 00:57.541 [SPEAKER_01]: But they're really the people and examples that shape how you want to live in parent. 00:57.641 --> 00:58.503 [SPEAKER_01]: It's really good. 00:58.543 --> 01:01.367 [SPEAKER_01]: The whole conversation is honest, practical, and full of hope. 01:01.808 --> 01:02.850 [SPEAKER_01]: I think you're going to love it. 01:03.010 --> 01:04.412 [SPEAKER_01]: So let's jump right in. 01:10.298 --> 01:13.724 [SPEAKER_01]: Cynthia welcome back to the Christian parenting podcast stuff. 01:13.744 --> 01:15.226 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me back. 01:15.266 --> 01:16.668 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like coming home a little bit. 01:16.949 --> 01:18.251 [SPEAKER_01]: It is lovely to have you here. 01:18.331 --> 01:19.092 [SPEAKER_01]: It is just so fun. 01:19.112 --> 01:20.935 [SPEAKER_01]: We were asked catch up a little bit before we started. 01:21.276 --> 01:24.481 [SPEAKER_01]: Did not push record because that would have been the entire podcast us totally. 01:24.501 --> 01:26.144 [SPEAKER_00]: We had lots of good way to go over. 01:26.184 --> 01:33.876 [SPEAKER_00]: We had to go through some grievances with our children and we did a door, but we saw some grievances and then talk shop and all the things. 01:33.856 --> 01:41.143 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, though the words you cannot get a D in Jesus may have come on my mouth referring to my child who's not doing so well in Bible class. 01:41.843 --> 02:03.863 [SPEAKER_00]: Well right and I told you and I think that's a perfect blog like you cannot get a D in Jesus and I think from a sense of God's grace like we can't like we're covered right but at the same time I feel like I'm getting a D in Jesus all the time I wait now and I'm like what am I doing like get it together over here so they as so anyway 02:03.843 --> 02:05.065 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so we'll see. 02:05.345 --> 02:06.206 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we'll see. 02:06.567 --> 02:16.861 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, we get to talk all about our families and parenting and Jesus and all the things today, but first give us a little background about you in case people don't know your relationship to Christian parenting. 02:16.901 --> 02:21.788 [SPEAKER_01]: Just tell us and what you're doing now, obviously I want to hear about what you're doing now, tell us about your family, tell us just about you. 02:22.009 --> 02:22.589 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you guys. 02:22.629 --> 02:23.811 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, here's the short version. 02:23.911 --> 02:32.263 [SPEAKER_00]: So I am a mom, a wife of the Meredith 02:32.243 --> 02:34.287 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and they like thank you a million years ago. 02:34.327 --> 02:35.028 [SPEAKER_00]: We met in law school. 02:35.369 --> 02:36.992 [SPEAKER_00]: He cat called me in a parking lot. 02:37.012 --> 02:43.985 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't I can't whistle, but that you know that noise is like what's happening and and here we are now 25 years later and we have three kids. 02:44.005 --> 02:47.552 [SPEAKER_00]: We have one that just graduated from college one that's in college a freshman. 02:47.532 --> 02:48.914 [SPEAKER_00]: and a fourth grader. 02:48.974 --> 02:52.658 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's a whole story, but I just kind of fourth grader y'all. 02:52.678 --> 02:53.519 [SPEAKER_00]: He's a third grader. 02:53.639 --> 02:54.721 [SPEAKER_00]: That's where I am in life. 02:54.941 --> 03:01.669 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know, but I joke all the time and say that I'm literally, you know, navigating menopause and math facts. 03:01.989 --> 03:03.651 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's not God's best for anyone. 03:03.751 --> 03:04.072 [SPEAKER_00]: All right. 03:04.172 --> 03:05.794 [SPEAKER_00]: I just need you to know that people. 03:06.294 --> 03:07.436 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's where we are. 03:07.476 --> 03:12.021 [SPEAKER_00]: I live in Dallas and I have a podcast called mesmerized and 03:12.001 --> 03:38.964 [SPEAKER_00]: Lots of fun and then a couple others I do and it's just finished my second book that's about to come out How did I miss that that I'm sure we'll chat about but I owe so much to Christian parenting because a long long time ago I worked for the Dinnison Forum and Christian parenting and I fun fact everyone I started the first podcast and not because I had any skill whatsoever literally I said we should have a podcast and they're like you should do it. 03:39.004 --> 03:39.865 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like what? 03:39.845 --> 03:45.592 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I started part of the mess and turns out, I, well, a podcast is like a deposition. 03:45.792 --> 03:47.554 [SPEAKER_00]: And I used to be a lawyer in a deposition. 03:47.574 --> 03:48.595 [SPEAKER_00]: You just ask questions. 03:49.036 --> 03:51.138 [SPEAKER_00]: And then you listen to the answer and you ask some more. 03:51.178 --> 03:55.043 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was wholly not qualified for a podcast. 03:55.063 --> 03:56.304 [SPEAKER_00]: But I knew how to do a deposition. 03:56.504 --> 03:58.106 [SPEAKER_00]: And all these years later, here we are. 03:58.287 --> 04:03.673 [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever God has you doing that you're not sure of the purpose, he can use it. 04:03.893 --> 04:04.654 [SPEAKER_00]: And he did 04:04.634 --> 04:08.801 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, I got to do a lot of work, prayer journals, other things with Christian parenting through the years. 04:08.901 --> 04:13.810 [SPEAKER_00]: And now, get to show up on some podcast and get to hang out with cool people that are running at these days. 04:14.110 --> 04:14.872 [SPEAKER_01]: So, that's right. 04:14.932 --> 04:17.837 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, you had to be on the other side and be interviewed, and it's so fun. 04:17.877 --> 04:18.518 [SPEAKER_01]: Who would have thought? 04:18.818 --> 04:20.121 [SPEAKER_01]: Who would have thought? 04:20.501 --> 04:20.922 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 04:20.902 --> 04:22.987 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, we, I'm happy to have you here. 04:23.007 --> 04:26.215 [SPEAKER_01]: I always love chatting with you even on one other time. 04:26.255 --> 04:30.526 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to link that and show notes people can listen to because I loved that conversation as well. 04:30.566 --> 04:37.864 [SPEAKER_01]: But today we're going to talk about just like ordinary life and like loving people while living a life of faith while in our every. 04:37.844 --> 04:38.225 [SPEAKER_01]: day. 04:38.265 --> 04:40.048 [SPEAKER_01]: And I kind of wanted to start. 04:40.328 --> 04:42.352 [SPEAKER_01]: You mentioned already your books called How Did I Miss That? 04:42.873 --> 04:51.368 [SPEAKER_01]: And you talk about these moments where like in your faith, where something that seems so familiar and ordinary becomes fresh and new and convicting. 04:51.388 --> 04:52.691 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think we can all relate to that. 04:53.011 --> 04:57.439 [SPEAKER_01]: And like you're reading the Bible and you're like, oh yeah, I know that, but then all of a sudden it's illuminated into something. 04:57.419 --> 04:57.800 [SPEAKER_01]: new. 04:57.900 --> 05:05.613 [SPEAKER_01]: And as a lifelong believer, you realize and we've all again experienced this that there are truths that you knew but weren't like fully living out. 05:05.633 --> 05:12.225 [SPEAKER_01]: So how do you describe like what is how to miss that moment and how do you think God continues to real reveal true to us? 05:12.325 --> 05:12.846 [SPEAKER_01]: Why does he do? 05:12.926 --> 05:13.968 [SPEAKER_01]: Why doesn't he just tell us it all now? 05:14.309 --> 05:15.090 [SPEAKER_01]: Because I'd be easier. 05:15.070 --> 05:15.911 [SPEAKER_00]: Right, right. 05:16.031 --> 05:22.620 [SPEAKER_00]: I am I'm a girl who I'm so grateful to stuff, but I grew up in church and I always say when people are like Like we're going to church. 05:22.640 --> 05:29.910 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like that's not the same going to church versus growing up in the church like I was there all that guys I've been to two-time visitation. 05:29.990 --> 05:39.282 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if y'all been to I've done GAs I've done Actines like some of you are like I have no idea what's this woman talk out and some of you are like, mm-hmm And so I've heard the Bible. 05:39.403 --> 05:42.006 [SPEAKER_00]: I've heard about Jesus my whole life and I am so grateful 05:41.986 --> 05:46.576 [SPEAKER_00]: But I also have a familiarity that sometimes gives me a D in Jesus, if you will. 05:46.777 --> 05:50.706 [SPEAKER_00]: I get a D because I've heard it so much as familiar. 05:50.726 --> 05:58.543 [SPEAKER_00]: I tell the story in the book about, oh, I was going to speak in an event in Houston a couple years ago as kind of a bigger, a larger event that I was speaking at. 05:58.523 --> 05:59.284 [SPEAKER_00]: drove. 05:59.324 --> 06:01.526 [SPEAKER_00]: Usually my friends will travel with me when I speak. 06:01.566 --> 06:03.408 [SPEAKER_00]: This time I was like, I don't need y'all to go with me. 06:03.468 --> 06:05.710 [SPEAKER_00]: They think I'm terrible at travel logistics. 06:05.730 --> 06:06.691 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I'm fine. 06:06.711 --> 06:07.512 [SPEAKER_00]: I can get to Houston. 06:07.572 --> 06:08.814 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like three hours from Dallas. 06:08.834 --> 06:14.680 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm driving and I stop at Bucky's and this woman and her daughter come up to me and approach me and ask for food. 06:14.720 --> 06:20.045 [SPEAKER_00]: And I have the moment of like, okay, I guess I can help. 06:20.105 --> 06:22.928 [SPEAKER_00]: So I run in the Bucky's and can I have a moment of silence for Bucky's. 06:23.329 --> 06:27.653 [SPEAKER_00]: Steph, you'll have Bucky's where you are. 06:27.633 --> 06:35.149 [SPEAKER_00]: But it's everything I'm about and not just to clean bathrooms like the bacon grease that they say can be a Christmas gift. 06:35.169 --> 06:44.589 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I don't know who's given bacon grease, but somebody is sort of like, I go and back each all and I'm thinking the usual things like, is this a hoax, are they going to steal my kidney? 06:44.930 --> 06:45.912 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, how is this going to play out? 06:45.952 --> 06:48.477 [SPEAKER_00]: But I got the food and the things and. 06:48.457 --> 07:08.001 [SPEAKER_00]: Kind of begrudgingly or inherently at a minimum gave it to them and then later as I was getting ready to drive off I heard this loud crash and like what was that and I realized in all of the rushness of it to get to my big event I didn't have time for this I forgot to take the hose out of my car from the gas pump and I ripped it literally out of the pump. 07:07.981 --> 07:25.247 [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't mean a little stuff like a little who a little rip like I'm down the way with that thing flailing in the wind and so I do weird things all the time but this was really weird I put it in part and I decided at that moment like I can either like act like I meant to do that or I can be horrified so I act like I meant to do it. 07:25.227 --> 07:32.699 [SPEAKER_00]: And I get out and I get the thing out of the, you know, out of the hose out and I walk all like the walk as shame, all the way back to the pump. 07:32.899 --> 07:45.919 [SPEAKER_00]: And I put it back in and I laugh about this story all the time because I realize like on the way to this event, the Lord was saying like, listen, what matters to me most of the time is how your heart is at the pump, not on the platform. 07:45.899 --> 08:03.385 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm a girl who was ready for a platform and I prepped and I was going to do this big event because that's the big god thing and god saying like listen yeah that matters, but really the big god thing is when you're at the pump and someone has a need and are you going to meet that need and how are you going to meet that need and I think that was just kind of that's one of the sub. 08:03.365 --> 08:05.548 [SPEAKER_00]: the subline is like gas pump confessions. 08:05.608 --> 08:11.195 [SPEAKER_00]: I think there's these moments in time where the Lord's saying, like, listen, you know what is right and what is true and what matters. 08:11.335 --> 08:13.778 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you willing to actually embrace it? 08:14.118 --> 08:24.151 [SPEAKER_00]: And my favorite quote, staff that every year is kind of unknown who said it, but there's very little difference between people, but the little difference makes a big difference. 08:24.351 --> 08:24.411 [SPEAKER_00]: And 08:24.391 --> 08:26.116 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I hope this whole book is. 08:26.156 --> 08:27.961 [SPEAKER_00]: This is what I want my life to be like. 08:28.221 --> 08:32.874 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to do the little differences that make a big difference in kingdom impact. 08:33.476 --> 08:39.953 [SPEAKER_00]: And if we're gonna do that, then we've got to stop things slow down and recognize that God's in the small. 08:39.933 --> 08:40.915 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 08:40.935 --> 08:42.900 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that story for many reasons. 08:43.301 --> 08:48.092 [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like only you could take that and turn it into a God moment and do something teachable. 08:48.112 --> 08:55.630 [SPEAKER_01]: I am really teaching you how to love people well in first and foremost, which is so, so important. 08:55.610 --> 09:02.643 [SPEAKER_01]: How do you feel like, so for you, your biggest, how do I miss that moment is, like, love is the most important thing that we can show each other, right? 09:02.663 --> 09:04.787 [SPEAKER_01]: So like, how does missing that truth? 09:04.987 --> 09:12.842 [SPEAKER_01]: And then also realizing it and living it out, like, how does that shape the way we act as believers and as parents and a friend? 09:12.822 --> 09:13.743 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's the thing. 09:13.804 --> 09:15.166 [SPEAKER_00]: Love is very obvious. 09:15.206 --> 09:16.988 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, we all know we're called 11. 09:17.469 --> 09:18.531 [SPEAKER_00]: What's she's a saint? 09:18.631 --> 09:23.879 [SPEAKER_00]: Like when he's asked by the lawyer, leave it to the lawyer to try to trick him and you know, what's the greatest commandment? 09:24.019 --> 09:26.002 [SPEAKER_00]: It's love God and love your neighbor, right? 09:26.503 --> 09:28.086 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that is our brand. 09:28.186 --> 09:29.868 [SPEAKER_00]: Love is our brand as Christians. 09:29.888 --> 09:34.936 [SPEAKER_00]: If Nike is just to do it, BMW's the ultimate driving experience, Christians like it's love. 09:35.377 --> 09:38.762 [SPEAKER_00]: And so we are called to love people well and 09:38.742 --> 09:39.984 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to do that well. 09:40.365 --> 09:51.164 [SPEAKER_00]: I just miss it all the time and it reminds me again of when I when I was in law school, first time ever I first semester I took contracts and I had to take the test at the end of the semester. 09:51.525 --> 09:53.488 [SPEAKER_00]: I was a good student and so I was ready. 09:53.609 --> 09:57.696 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I went to class, I went to the study groups, I participated, I read the material. 09:57.676 --> 10:01.262 [SPEAKER_00]: So I get the test, the entire grade came down to one test. 10:01.302 --> 10:01.783 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, Steph. 10:01.803 --> 10:03.025 [SPEAKER_00]: So there's no, I mean, this is it. 10:03.446 --> 10:04.087 [SPEAKER_00]: I get the test. 10:04.167 --> 10:05.449 [SPEAKER_00]: I read the essay front back. 10:05.489 --> 10:08.895 [SPEAKER_00]: I scribble out my answers back when we used to use a pencil, friend. 10:09.696 --> 10:11.099 [SPEAKER_00]: I scribble out the answers. 10:11.199 --> 10:11.780 [SPEAKER_00]: I turn it in. 10:11.800 --> 10:12.561 [SPEAKER_00]: I might nail it. 10:12.902 --> 10:15.186 [SPEAKER_00]: I go and check my grade later anonymously. 10:15.246 --> 10:17.710 [SPEAKER_00]: It's post on the front doors, the law school I failed. 10:17.690 --> 10:19.171 [SPEAKER_00]: the only F, okay? 10:19.271 --> 10:20.673 [SPEAKER_00]: And I laughed audibly. 10:20.713 --> 10:23.155 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I did not get an F, like I'm a good student. 10:23.495 --> 10:27.939 [SPEAKER_00]: Sure enough, and so I went and talked to Professor and the professor was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that you. 10:28.019 --> 10:30.341 [SPEAKER_00]: It's anonymous grading said you came to class. 10:30.361 --> 10:31.943 [SPEAKER_00]: You did all the things you studied. 10:32.323 --> 10:34.705 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, but when you read the question, you read it wrong. 10:34.805 --> 10:36.627 [SPEAKER_00]: You answered the wrong question. 10:36.787 --> 10:37.848 [SPEAKER_00]: And he said, for what is worth? 10:37.868 --> 10:42.913 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you feel better if I tell you that if that's what we were asking, that was an A. I'm like, no, I don't feel better. 10:42.933 --> 10:44.314 [SPEAKER_00]: I gotta not helpful. 10:44.654 --> 10:45.655 [SPEAKER_00]: Not helpful. 10:45.635 --> 10:59.202 [SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing, I think that's what it is with our faith and love, is that if we, we have a culture that's out there asking questions every day, if they're good enough to asking questions about identity, asking questions about our faith about our God. 10:59.502 --> 11:04.111 [SPEAKER_00]: And if we are answering it with anything but love, we're answering the wrong question. 11:04.272 --> 11:06.917 [SPEAKER_00]: We have one chance opportunities. 11:06.897 --> 11:10.081 [SPEAKER_00]: to show people what God is about, and he is about love. 11:10.482 --> 11:15.909 [SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing, those one chance opportunities, like I had one chance on a contract's test, right? 11:16.270 --> 11:24.722 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter that I'd study to knew the material and went to the study group, like you can go to Bible study, you can know your Bible, you can read through it with terribly cobble, which I love. 11:24.742 --> 11:25.703 [SPEAKER_00]: And I suggest you do. 11:26.043 --> 11:33.393 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you weren't answering the questions that our culture is asking, if you're not answering them in love, then it really doesn't amount to much. 11:33.554 --> 11:36.718 [SPEAKER_00]: And they will show up, the people asking you, 11:36.698 --> 11:51.278 [SPEAKER_00]: In convenient moments like at the gas pump, it will show with people that are annoying and frustrating in the boss that's a jerk and the PTA lady that's too bossy, those are the one chance moments to show who we are and if our brand is love, like don't miss it, like that is significant. 11:51.418 --> 11:55.003 [SPEAKER_01]: What does that look like for you and for your family too? 11:55.183 --> 11:55.804 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 11:55.784 --> 12:14.485 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I think there's a lot of different places that did I think we've got to show up and love and I think for my family, especially as a parent, I would say I've learned over the years that we have to stop valuing our kids and our reputation and sticking our reputation on our kids and their friend groups and their sporting teams. 12:14.465 --> 12:20.676 [SPEAKER_00]: And all the things that I have been found to put emphasis on that at the end of the day, they are not eternal. 12:20.696 --> 12:29.552 [SPEAKER_00]: And so to love people well, I've got to have a focus on eternity and that focus then leads me to incorporate people that aren't like me. 12:29.753 --> 12:38.228 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe people that aren't nice to my kids to maybe be on the team that isn't the best select team because you know what, that's where the people are that need our family around them. 12:38.208 --> 12:45.098 [SPEAKER_00]: It implicates how I, when I go running down to the school to complain about if my kid got the right class or that they weren't acknowledged for this. 12:45.359 --> 12:49.404 [SPEAKER_00]: It impacts how I talked to the coach when they pull my kid out at the key moment of a game. 12:49.725 --> 12:51.447 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think they're the best player on the team. 12:51.568 --> 12:56.034 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying all these have happened, but haven't we related to all these moments? 12:56.074 --> 13:03.405 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, okay, these are one chance moments to show up and show love and not just love for those around us, but 13:03.385 --> 13:04.226 [SPEAKER_00]: Who do we love? 13:04.286 --> 13:05.607 [SPEAKER_00]: Who is the affection of our love? 13:05.668 --> 13:13.336 [SPEAKER_00]: Is the affection of my love, my kids, and them having everything that I think they're justified to, or is the affection of my love him? 13:13.556 --> 13:20.564 [SPEAKER_00]: And how do I love him by devaluing some of the things that our culture says are significant and matter and worth fighting for? 13:20.804 --> 13:23.407 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I'm curious as you're speaking and saying all these things. 13:23.587 --> 13:27.992 [SPEAKER_01]: Cause I haven't done all those things, but I relate to all these things totally. 13:27.972 --> 13:29.840 [SPEAKER_01]: in some form or another. 13:29.880 --> 13:37.290 [SPEAKER_01]: How do you feel, because you have a grown child, a mostly grown child, and then an elementary school, child. 13:37.523 --> 13:50.900 [SPEAKER_01]: So how do you feel like this idea of loving a brand and being so important in loving people the way Jesus does and reflecting that like how has that changed how you parented your first round versus your second round. 13:50.980 --> 14:00.392 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh like from first round to second round to third round like I wish everybody could parent as a 50 year old woman with a with a third grader. 14:00.372 --> 14:15.833 [SPEAKER_00]: and I say that from funny but truly like you totally flip on your head what matters at some point because the very things I've said this a million times but the very things I begged God to take away from my older kids I now know where the things that have 14:15.813 --> 14:19.236 [SPEAKER_00]: He was using to turn them into the man of women of God. 14:19.256 --> 14:45.820 [SPEAKER_00]: He wants them to be those hard places that I tried to pray out of that I tried to get extra tutoring or more select time on the team or all those things like that they didn't get that I anguished over that like hurt my heart And I you know would have done anything to change their posture I now know that God used all those places very intentionally to make them who they are and so with my youngest 14:45.800 --> 14:48.483 [SPEAKER_00]: I eat is a wild card he's crazy. 14:48.503 --> 14:50.846 [SPEAKER_00]: He does my first two kids made me look pretty good. 14:50.866 --> 14:52.888 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll have those kids that they make you look pretty good. 14:53.229 --> 15:13.613 [SPEAKER_00]: This one does not he does things how he's going to do things and especially academically he struggles incredibly were end of third grade and we're still barely reading and you know it's funny the first couple of kids I feel like I learned that I was watching how the Lord was shaping them and now I'm watching with this one how he's shaping me. 15:13.593 --> 15:16.656 [SPEAKER_00]: and the Lord saying, like, you trust me, do you trust me with this kid? 15:16.696 --> 15:17.797 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you trust that I can do this? 15:17.817 --> 15:20.600 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you trust that I can take him from where he was and put him in your home? 15:21.001 --> 15:26.226 [SPEAKER_00]: And if I can do that, I'm the same one that can teach him to read, may not be on your timeframe, may not make you look good. 15:26.707 --> 15:30.550 [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm learning just the end of the day you guys, we just got a whole stuff loosely. 15:31.051 --> 15:39.820 [SPEAKER_00]: And if we really believe that God is force and with us, and he's our advocate, then we have to trust him and his timing, and it changes everything about how I pair it now. 15:39.800 --> 15:40.141 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 15:40.341 --> 15:41.243 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just so interesting. 15:41.263 --> 15:55.029 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like you know that and I feel like every time every kid you get a little better at holding things loosely because you know you've done it one other time the way I parent my oldest is very different than the way I parent my youngest and they're only like three and a half years apart. 15:55.069 --> 15:55.269 [UNKNOWN]: Yeah. 15:55.650 --> 15:55.750 [UNKNOWN]: Yeah. 15:56.506 --> 16:11.528 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's not that much of a gap, but it is it's just you got to let go a little bit, but it's so much easier said than done well right and and also you know what seems you'll figure this out in your parenting if you haven't yet it's coming what seems most important in the moment almost never is. 16:11.508 --> 16:13.411 [SPEAKER_00]: It's never what seems most important. 16:13.431 --> 16:16.376 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I would just say, like, tuck that little nugget away somewhere. 16:16.777 --> 16:18.119 [SPEAKER_00]: But I mean, that's another one. 16:18.159 --> 16:21.084 [SPEAKER_00]: I think you figure out as like, what seems most important in their academics. 16:21.144 --> 16:21.986 [SPEAKER_00]: No, that's really not. 16:22.026 --> 16:27.615 [SPEAKER_00]: Their character is what seems most important is, you know, whatever the thing is, it probably is. 16:27.695 --> 16:31.542 [SPEAKER_00]: So look for the less visible and figure out where God's working in that. 16:31.522 --> 16:48.703 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there was a quote I like underlined it in your book that and I won't get it exactly right now because I am just recalling it from memory, but something you start a paragraph that you say parenting is trying to figure out what is the most important thing right now. 16:49.257 --> 16:51.079 [SPEAKER_01]: like every single day or something like that. 16:51.240 --> 16:52.721 [SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, they're going to get it. 16:52.742 --> 16:54.043 [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, you're totally right. 16:54.063 --> 16:55.625 [SPEAKER_00]: And I can't even quote my own quote. 16:55.645 --> 16:59.911 [SPEAKER_00]: But basically, yeah, it's just never ending game of trying to figure out what's the most important thing. 17:00.251 --> 17:04.497 [SPEAKER_00]: And yet, really what seems like the most important thing to that point isn't. 17:04.677 --> 17:12.067 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I kind of likened to like, you know, when Charlie Brown's running to kick the football and they pull it out from him front of him, that's like my entire parenting career. 17:12.127 --> 17:14.229 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm writing hard at whatever the same is. 17:14.650 --> 17:17.053 [SPEAKER_00]: And then it gets pulled out, I'm laying on my back 17:17.033 --> 17:23.067 [SPEAKER_00]: from the posture on my back is where I've seen like, oh yeah, maybe that doesn't matter as much as I think. 17:23.087 --> 17:33.051 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I would just say this, like, if you're struggling today because you feel like your kids aren't included in something, like lay on your back on this, like if the football's been pulled out, your kid didn't get invited, 17:33.031 --> 17:56.068 [SPEAKER_00]: Consider how it might be opportunity to include others, to bring others along that also aren't included like those replaces where my kids weren't invited to something on a Friday night and everything in me wanted to throw a bigger party than the one they weren't invited to and I'm like, oh, that was an opportunity where we brought in others that also weren't included and we got to know people that needed to see Jesus, needed to see the brand of love and 17:56.048 --> 18:09.911 [SPEAKER_00]: So all these places, I would just say like whatever you're facing at their heart, I'm not not undercutting that where you don't face some hard things, but what seems most critical, most important, most damaging at any, any given moment, maybe not so much. 18:10.292 --> 18:15.981 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think if you can give a bigger, longer kingdom lens to things, it changes how you look at it. 18:15.961 --> 18:33.345 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and when our priorities shift like that, like how the way we measure success shifts too because we so often focus on the big things, you know, whether our kids are doing really great or not or the big opportunities to share faith or to love others well or to be successful in a world way way because that feels good. 18:33.325 --> 18:36.029 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, we want to live like a big life, I guess. 18:36.549 --> 18:39.113 [SPEAKER_01]: Can you kind of talk about like a mustard seed mistake? 18:39.513 --> 18:39.754 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 18:39.934 --> 18:40.835 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk about that a little bit. 18:40.855 --> 18:42.677 [SPEAKER_01]: Tell us what a mustard seed mistake. 18:42.697 --> 18:42.818 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 18:43.138 --> 18:51.089 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you know, like in the Bible where Jesus talks about he's talking to the people and he's talking about the mustard seeds and Matthew and he's like, it's the smallest of seeds. 18:51.149 --> 18:54.693 [SPEAKER_00]: But it becomes a huge plant slash tree. 18:54.713 --> 18:57.037 [SPEAKER_00]: And that doesn't make sense to us because we're like, musters. 18:57.117 --> 18:58.118 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what are we talking about? 18:58.098 --> 19:19.617 [SPEAKER_00]: but in that day it would have because there would be mustard little seeds all along the gravel past they would walk and he's pointing to it saying like listen these little seeds become this and he's pointing to these fields huge fields just filled with beautiful mustard plants and almost tree size right and he's saying that's the kingdom of God it's these tiny, itty, bitty little things that become big. 19:19.597 --> 19:21.442 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think about that in our terms. 19:21.502 --> 19:23.347 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really hard to buy into that. 19:23.687 --> 19:24.730 [SPEAKER_00]: But that is the kingdom. 19:24.750 --> 19:26.194 [SPEAKER_00]: And he's saying that's how it works. 19:26.234 --> 19:29.622 [SPEAKER_00]: These little things through Jesus become really big. 19:29.723 --> 19:32.329 [SPEAKER_00]: Like they are the things that are significant and matter. 19:32.690 --> 19:36.981 [SPEAKER_00]: And so what happens is we probably heard this before, but they talk about like, 19:36.961 --> 19:38.263 [SPEAKER_00]: like a bamboo plant. 19:38.303 --> 19:41.069 [SPEAKER_00]: Like if you plant a bamboo seed, right, you can water it. 19:41.549 --> 19:42.531 [SPEAKER_00]: The sun will shine on it. 19:42.692 --> 19:44.876 [SPEAKER_00]: It can be five years before you see any growth. 19:44.896 --> 19:46.579 [SPEAKER_00]: But one day, it will. 19:46.639 --> 19:49.885 [SPEAKER_00]: There will be growth and it can be up to several feet in one day. 19:50.286 --> 19:54.834 [SPEAKER_00]: And that whole time when nothing was happening, the watering, the sunshine, all that. 19:54.894 --> 19:56.978 [SPEAKER_00]: Like there was a deep root system forming. 19:56.958 --> 20:02.384 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think the mustard seed mistake is thinking that just because we don't see the growth nothing's happening. 20:02.705 --> 20:06.209 [SPEAKER_00]: Like Jesus is in the business of having making the connections. 20:06.269 --> 20:09.953 [SPEAKER_00]: He's deep root systems that we probably don't see day in a day out. 20:09.973 --> 20:14.719 [SPEAKER_00]: We may not see him this side of heaven to be honest with you, but we have to trust him. 20:14.779 --> 20:19.084 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's in those little tiny places that we've got to keep pouring the water. 20:19.064 --> 20:35.030 [SPEAKER_00]: right, spreading the word, being kind, showing humility, being generous, watching our words, showing up at church, not showing up in the places we don't need to be, keep watering it, day in, day out, and trust that the God who forms deep root systems will use them. 20:35.130 --> 20:43.063 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't get, and this is kind of a plan words in the book, but don't be bamboozled like the bamboo plant, bamboozled into thinking that just because you can't see it, 20:43.043 --> 20:46.266 [SPEAKER_00]: You can't see it paying dividends, doesn't mean it doesn't matter. 20:46.627 --> 20:49.129 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that's kind of the mustard seed idea. 20:49.189 --> 20:52.893 [SPEAKER_00]: If Jesus is saying, like, listen, these tiny seeds produce big fruit long term. 20:53.273 --> 20:56.577 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, we have to buy into the tiny things that won't get you an Instagram post. 20:56.597 --> 20:59.900 [SPEAKER_00]: They won't get your kiddo called to the front of the cafeteria for an award. 21:00.080 --> 21:02.823 [SPEAKER_00]: They won't get us a promotion at work. 21:02.883 --> 21:04.585 [SPEAKER_00]: It probably won't add to the form. 21:04.605 --> 21:08.509 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, but they matter because they have eternity impact. 21:08.529 --> 21:10.671 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but they are so hard. 21:10.651 --> 21:11.773 [SPEAKER_01]: There's no art. 21:12.094 --> 21:29.908 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just like it's so amazing how parenting and fate just have so many parallels because it's just like the daily spiritual habits are really hard sometimes because everything just pulls us away from all of them, but it is just a reminder that those small quiet undervalued things really make the biggest impact. 21:29.888 --> 21:30.249 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 21:30.329 --> 21:33.716 [SPEAKER_00]: Can I give you a quick example of that sure can kind of sticks with me. 21:34.277 --> 21:42.453 [SPEAKER_00]: I had a friend of Christian family that were our best friends are very close to a still that hasn't got cut up a caught up in white collar crime. 21:42.934 --> 21:45.619 [SPEAKER_00]: We were shocked went to prison for 10 years. 21:45.599 --> 21:50.968 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, actually served nine of the 10 years for federal crime and his wife. 21:51.188 --> 21:54.414 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, obviously, I mean, dead no idea shocked has small kids. 21:55.075 --> 21:56.838 [SPEAKER_00]: And we were devastated. 21:56.918 --> 21:57.839 [SPEAKER_00]: Like devastated it. 21:58.280 --> 22:03.148 [SPEAKER_00]: I had asked some people our church to pray and there's a woman named Peggy Powell and Peggy Powell starts. 22:03.269 --> 22:04.050 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know her well. 22:04.110 --> 22:04.731 [SPEAKER_00]: She's older women. 22:04.751 --> 22:07.135 [SPEAKER_00]: She's passed away since really just no her name. 22:07.115 --> 22:12.147 [SPEAKER_00]: I find out a couple of years into a sentence she had been writing him a letter or friend every single day. 22:12.568 --> 22:16.618 [SPEAKER_00]: A guy she's never met doesn't know the family, they don't live in the same state where we are. 22:17.059 --> 22:18.723 [SPEAKER_00]: So she wrote him a letter every single day. 22:19.083 --> 22:22.612 [SPEAKER_00]: And I had to ask when I'm like, Peggy, I'm so touched, but why? 22:22.692 --> 22:23.775 [SPEAKER_00]: And she said two reasons. 22:24.276 --> 22:25.258 [SPEAKER_00]: I know that. 22:25.238 --> 22:31.083 [SPEAKER_00]: people inmates that received mail are treated better by guards, but too, I want to tend to know there's no condemnation in Christ. 22:31.464 --> 22:33.505 [SPEAKER_00]: And I believe his best days are ahead of him. 22:33.866 --> 22:44.315 [SPEAKER_00]: And so every day, whether it's a little newspaper clipping, she would just send something a joke, thoughtful word, eventually she challenged him to memorize scripture, and they would write back and forth all the passages that memorize. 22:44.535 --> 22:49.180 [SPEAKER_00]: And Justin, now, today out of prison, still with his wife, his kids are now in college. 22:49.220 --> 22:51.081 [SPEAKER_00]: He says, I'm here because of her. 22:51.321 --> 22:55.245 [SPEAKER_00]: Like what she did, it changed the trajectory the way she 22:55.225 --> 23:03.657 [SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing, I doubt Peggy Powell every day in the quiet over home when she grabbed a stamp and a pen and wrote a letter was like, this is changing the world. 23:04.138 --> 23:15.895 [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, she isn't heaven now and there's no doubt in my mind that she understands and can see the fuller picture of doing the small things that changes lives and that changes the kingdom. 23:16.276 --> 23:22.465 [SPEAKER_00]: And I believe not only Justin's family, he's still intact and loves the Lord and recovered from all of this. 23:22.445 --> 23:35.745 [SPEAKER_00]: but his grandchildren, great grandchildren and all the way down the line, there will be generations of people change because of the small faithful step of a woman named Peggy Powell who took an interest in somebody, a godly interest she followed the nudging the Lord gave her. 23:36.346 --> 23:40.793 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I hope that we can like buy into the fact that a stamp makes a difference. 23:40.813 --> 23:43.577 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying let's all write a letter, like who's writing letters anymore y'all? 23:43.718 --> 23:44.118 [SPEAKER_00]: Seriously. 23:44.479 --> 23:45.280 [SPEAKER_00]: But 23:45.260 --> 23:51.531 [SPEAKER_00]: Peggy, those little things have impact and so that's kind of the mustard seed idea. 23:51.551 --> 24:00.426 [SPEAKER_00]: If the Lord's nudging you to small stuff like step into it and trust, you may see this side of heaven the significance, but if not, you will see kingdom impact later. 24:00.627 --> 24:05.395 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and isn't it all of our hopes that every one of our kids just has a Peggy? 24:05.375 --> 24:16.947 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, I hope no one's writing my child letters in prison, but don't do hope that they have someone who's like, no, I think I think your best days are ahead and I'm going to remind you every single day. 24:16.967 --> 24:24.695 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and that there's no condemnation in Christ, and I know kid that you're a bonehead right now, and you've made some dumb choices, but I believe God has something for you. 24:24.716 --> 24:26.257 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like, who doesn't need that? 24:26.537 --> 24:30.842 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's just a goff that refers to those kind of people in our children's lives as neighbors. 24:30.822 --> 24:40.033 [SPEAKER_00]: They help name you to who you are called to be reminding you of that and man, if you've had a name or in your own life or a name or in the lives of your children, it's a game changer. 24:40.254 --> 24:48.824 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, the first time that you're on this podcast, we were talking about at some point we're talking about some little parentingisms that we were kind of cleaning to those days. 24:49.345 --> 24:53.650 [SPEAKER_01]: And you said that kind of the phrase, believe forward, believe forward in your kids. 24:53.830 --> 25:00.238 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think about it all the time and I feel like that's kind of like the same comes concept as parents. 25:00.218 --> 25:01.801 [SPEAKER_01]: and give me that same true. 25:02.202 --> 25:04.405 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, it's hard sometimes because they're moments. 25:04.425 --> 25:05.167 [SPEAKER_00]: It is so hard. 25:05.267 --> 25:07.771 [SPEAKER_00]: But let me who wants me judge by their 13 year old self, right? 25:07.791 --> 25:09.775 [SPEAKER_00]: Or either their their middle school Bible greater. 25:09.995 --> 25:16.587 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that for myself, but there's been a lot of times where my kids have done really dumb stuff or have shown character qualities. 25:16.627 --> 25:17.829 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, this does an end well. 25:18.310 --> 25:22.497 [SPEAKER_00]: And my mom is a big believer for it and people that especially my kids. 25:22.938 --> 25:25.062 [SPEAKER_00]: And as I've seen that play out, I mean, 25:25.042 --> 25:29.567 [SPEAKER_00]: there's something to that and not just believing forward in some like weird manifesting way. 25:29.807 --> 25:38.678 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we're praying for praying scripture over them that the Lord will that he will continue to develop and into who he created them to be before they took one breath. 25:38.698 --> 25:39.799 [SPEAKER_00]: He had plans for them. 25:40.219 --> 25:49.090 [SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes we got to step out and be like, I'm just going to believe forward that the god of the universe has plans for you and that he can he can accomplish those and it will probably be a rocky road getting him there. 25:49.130 --> 25:54.576 [SPEAKER_00]: And from A to Z and back, but that yeah, to have a neighbor matters. 25:54.556 --> 25:55.477 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah. 25:55.898 --> 25:57.920 [SPEAKER_01]: And why that's why community is so important too, right? 25:57.960 --> 26:04.068 [SPEAKER_01]: Whether it is like a Peggy or your grandma or your mom or your mom's best friend, like it's just so important. 26:04.488 --> 26:04.608 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 26:04.668 --> 26:16.643 [SPEAKER_01]: One other thing I want to touch on before we end our time together is you encourage people to consider their own personal Mount Rushmore and I would love for you because you were like, I'm sorry, what? 26:16.984 --> 26:17.925 [SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean by that? 26:18.185 --> 26:19.787 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's break that down a little bit. 26:19.767 --> 26:21.129 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's break this down. 26:21.190 --> 26:23.594 [SPEAKER_00]: So Mark Madison, I know you know who that is. 26:23.694 --> 26:27.160 [SPEAKER_00]: And some of you may are may not incredible pastor slash author love him. 26:27.721 --> 26:29.505 [SPEAKER_00]: And he's just want an icon to me. 26:29.565 --> 26:34.213 [SPEAKER_00]: But he has, when I've interviewed him several times, he has like four or five pictures behind his end. 26:34.273 --> 26:36.477 [SPEAKER_00]: He calls it his own personal Mount Rushmore. 26:36.457 --> 26:40.504 [SPEAKER_00]: And he talked out those are the people that inspire him to live differently. 26:40.725 --> 26:42.187 [SPEAKER_00]: Dallas Willard is a theologian. 26:42.287 --> 26:47.877 [SPEAKER_00]: I love you probably know him too, Steph, but he says says he says in our lives, we want what is right and important. 26:48.058 --> 26:52.305 [SPEAKER_00]: But we won't commit to a life that produces what's right and important. 26:52.285 --> 26:53.927 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, here, here, like, that's me. 26:54.308 --> 26:58.695 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's the whole idea of this Mount Rushmore is that who can inspire you? 26:58.735 --> 27:00.477 [SPEAKER_00]: Who are the people that are doing it that way? 27:00.497 --> 27:06.586 [SPEAKER_00]: Whether you know them or don't know them, they inspire you to do the things to commit to a life that's a difference maker. 27:06.947 --> 27:09.430 [SPEAKER_00]: And Mount Rushmore, you know, it's the president, right? 27:09.611 --> 27:12.956 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the president, Jefferson Roosevelt Lincoln, and it's the faces of them. 27:13.096 --> 27:16.521 [SPEAKER_00]: And the intention was just something that showed what American culture looked like. 27:17.598 --> 27:23.363 [SPEAKER_00]: in our own personal Mount Rushmore's, who are the people that are encouraging us and inspiring us to live differently? 27:23.563 --> 27:26.987 [SPEAKER_00]: And in Mount Rushmore, it was 90% dynamite when they did it. 27:27.027 --> 27:28.528 [SPEAKER_00]: 90% a big huge thing. 27:28.588 --> 27:32.452 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think a lot of our lives, it's 90% dynamite like when we decide to fix our marriage. 27:33.112 --> 27:46.204 [SPEAKER_00]: We decide, set Jesus as our Lord and Savior, those are the 90% but you couldn't actually visibly see the people who it was, the picture of it, without that 10% they called honeycombing, little individual drilling, 27:46.184 --> 28:11.162 [SPEAKER_00]: holes to really get the finesse and what I want to encourage you if you've got the 90% if you've accepted Lord it's your savior amazing if you're working on the big things it's amazing but this 90% is where all the small little portions of the portrait of Jesus show up and if we can live in that little 10% that little 10% of that honey coming and we can do the things that point people back to Jesus and help to our port 28:11.142 --> 28:14.185 [SPEAKER_00]: are part towards that whole sculpture of Jesus, then let's do that. 28:14.625 --> 28:18.128 [SPEAKER_00]: And so my encouragement to you is like, figure out who is doing that well? 28:18.569 --> 28:19.690 [SPEAKER_00]: Like who are the people around you? 28:19.730 --> 28:24.634 [SPEAKER_00]: What are the things around you that would inspire you to commit to a life that helps you live differently? 28:24.934 --> 28:28.017 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, my husband became a Christian through three guys in high school. 28:28.277 --> 28:31.080 [SPEAKER_00]: They were in fellowship Christian athletes, and they lived differently. 28:31.100 --> 28:32.381 [SPEAKER_00]: And my husband wanted to know why. 28:32.421 --> 28:35.864 [SPEAKER_00]: And my husband ended up going to FCA with them and he became a Christian. 28:36.185 --> 28:37.165 [SPEAKER_00]: Three high school kids. 28:37.205 --> 28:41.149 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I have high school sons, or I've had them about to have another, 28:41.129 --> 28:42.451 [SPEAKER_00]: They're kind of boneheaded. 28:42.491 --> 28:47.999 [SPEAKER_00]: No, these kids live differently and my husband knows Jesus and he's the only one his family The nose Jesus because of them. 28:48.019 --> 28:49.982 [SPEAKER_00]: It's because that 10% of living differently. 28:50.182 --> 29:06.006 [SPEAKER_00]: It made a difference and so I want that for us I want us to have the people that inspire us the people that want make us want to live a little bit differently So that's just a practical way of looking at it and thinking about it like where can I drill down and what God has for me to do they will impact generations 29:06.256 --> 29:29.418 [SPEAKER_01]: And those things are so important and it's such a reminder for parents because we can spend so much of our time thinking about like who's going to be a neighbor for our kids who's going to believe forward for our kids like what are these little moments I can do for my kids and it's like you have to have people in your life that are going to refine you and bring you closer to the Lord and that you can rely on in that sense so that you can do those things for our kids. 29:29.538 --> 29:33.462 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because we so often just think of them first, but we have to have it for ourselves as well. 29:33.442 --> 29:38.992 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and so just having those people might, you don't have to have a picture of them, but maybe around that you're like, listen, I want to do it like that. 29:39.533 --> 29:40.675 [SPEAKER_00]: And some of them may be famous. 29:40.836 --> 29:42.218 [SPEAKER_00]: They're probably not tick tockers. 29:42.258 --> 29:43.741 [SPEAKER_00]: They're probably not influencers. 29:43.761 --> 29:46.206 [SPEAKER_00]: Those are probably not the people that have most impacted you. 29:46.426 --> 29:49.712 [SPEAKER_00]: They're people that were, maybe Peggy pals that were in their lane. 29:49.692 --> 29:54.899 [SPEAKER_00]: And they did the things that maybe weren't big and flashy, but they did it well and it changed you. 29:55.340 --> 30:00.227 [SPEAKER_00]: And so how can that inspire us to do that well for others and really back to the point of the book? 30:00.287 --> 30:03.332 [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't want to look back on my life and be like, how did I miss it? 30:03.692 --> 30:08.018 [SPEAKER_00]: Because on day you can wake up and write a whole book on it, I just did and I don't want to do. 30:08.098 --> 30:19.615 [SPEAKER_00]: And so what I want us to do is realize that the things you already know matter, the things like love and humility and generosity and courage doing the hard things. 30:19.595 --> 30:20.597 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 30:20.617 --> 30:20.877 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. 30:20.897 --> 30:24.983 [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like maybe I will take a picture of my two best friends and turn it into a little sculpture. 30:25.023 --> 30:28.929 [SPEAKER_01]: A little reminder, my own little personal tiny Mount Rushmore. 30:29.270 --> 30:31.614 [SPEAKER_01]: My son has a 3D printer and maybe I'll have a 3D print me one. 30:31.694 --> 30:32.815 [SPEAKER_00]: I love to see that. 30:32.835 --> 30:33.657 [SPEAKER_00]: I would love you to do that. 30:33.757 --> 30:34.638 [SPEAKER_00]: I would put on my social. 30:34.698 --> 30:36.681 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that would be, that would be cool. 30:36.721 --> 30:40.567 [SPEAKER_00]: I keep saying I'm going to do that, put those pictures behind me because I have the few. 30:41.148 --> 30:46.176 [SPEAKER_00]: One of them is actually not a picture of a person but it's my house, it's just a reminder to me. 30:46.156 --> 31:04.283 [SPEAKER_00]: that I've built a house the first 30 years my life that was built on pride and and identity and things are not from the Lord and comparison and it was a house that really wasn't much fun to live in and I want to live in a house that's filled with things to the Lord cares about and so it's kind of a longer chapter in my book but. 31:04.263 --> 31:26.760 [SPEAKER_00]: That's one of my things is, what kind of house every day I'm making a little individual decisions that are building the house I live in and what are I want to live in and what I want that to look like and so yeah that's one of mine on my Mount Rushmore along with some really cool people yeah everyone should be thinking about that as you wrap this episode up think about who's your Mount Rushmore who needs to be up there maybe who needs to be off maybe harder question you know those are good at 31:26.740 --> 31:27.762 [SPEAKER_00]: There's some truth to that. 31:27.842 --> 31:30.587 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, who's who's on it and who should be on it, right? 31:30.887 --> 31:31.408 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 31:31.428 --> 31:31.829 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 31:31.849 --> 31:36.036 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll head to walk that to and figure out like, hey, that probably is not the best circle for me. 31:36.597 --> 31:36.817 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 31:37.178 --> 31:37.619 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely. 31:37.979 --> 31:38.240 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 31:38.340 --> 31:40.664 [SPEAKER_01]: Tell us where we can get a copy your book. 31:40.985 --> 31:42.627 [SPEAKER_01]: Tell us where we can connect with you. 31:42.667 --> 31:45.913 [SPEAKER_01]: I'll be your many podcasts and I'll put it on, Jonas. 31:46.484 --> 31:47.405 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much. 31:47.505 --> 31:50.328 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, the book is out in February, February 3rd. 31:50.709 --> 32:08.349 [SPEAKER_00]: I would love love love and be so grateful if you would preorder it and it's called how do I miss that and so you can get on Amazon or Barnes and then all the usual spots and then my podcast is called mesmerized with two S is like mess mesmerized and you can listen there and the other ones. 32:08.469 --> 32:10.011 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we can go on, you know, 32:09.991 --> 32:23.828 [SPEAKER_00]: sidetracked is a comedy one I'm on with a girl named Heather McFaddy and there's another one I'm parenting teenagers called feeding the mouth that bites you I have to think about that every time I didn't start a podcast, but basically basically everyone I'd love I'd love to meet up with you on Instagram. 32:23.948 --> 32:24.809 [SPEAKER_00]: It's under my name. 32:24.929 --> 32:26.471 [SPEAKER_00]: If I can pray for you, encourage you. 32:26.531 --> 32:28.273 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm always available in a round. 32:28.353 --> 32:30.035 [SPEAKER_00]: So stuff, thanks for doing this. 32:30.296 --> 32:31.777 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for being with me. 32:31.857 --> 32:34.861 [SPEAKER_01]: It's always fun to chat and catch up and hear your wisdom. 32:34.901 --> 32:35.762 [SPEAKER_01]: So I appreciate it. 32:35.802 --> 32:36.363 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you. 32:36.383 --> 32:37.264 [SPEAKER_01]: No thanks. 32:38.763 --> 32:42.567 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for joining us today and for listening as you wrap up this episode. 32:42.647 --> 32:45.331 [SPEAKER_01]: I want you to sit with a couple questions Cynthia brought up. 32:45.811 --> 32:48.194 [SPEAKER_01]: What is your, how do I miss that truth right now? 32:48.835 --> 32:56.543 [SPEAKER_01]: Like where might God be inviting you to live your faith in the ordinary, not just the big moments and who belongs on your personal Mount Rushmore. 32:56.944 --> 33:01.429 [SPEAKER_01]: The people and the examples that pull you towards Jesus and help you love, well. 33:01.763 --> 33:04.726 [SPEAKER_01]: Cynthia's book how I miss that is available for pre-order now. 33:04.766 --> 33:07.989 [SPEAKER_01]: You should definitely do that pre-orders really help authors. 33:08.409 --> 33:13.093 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to link that along with all of her podcasts and resources in the show notes so go check there. 33:13.714 --> 33:16.836 [SPEAKER_01]: As you go today, may the Lord slow you down enough to notice him. 33:17.317 --> 33:23.583 [SPEAKER_01]: Soften your heart to love like Jesus and strengthen you to keep planting the small, faithful seeds. 33:23.603 --> 33:29.728 [SPEAKER_01]: May your home be filled with grace, courage, and steady confidence that God is working even when you cannot see again.