WEBVTT 00:00.468 --> 00:08.552 [SPEAKER_00]: Recognize that you can literally change the neurons and pathways in your brain by slowly training them to do so. 00:09.072 --> 00:10.733 [SPEAKER_00]: First of all, recognize your triggers. 00:11.234 --> 00:12.054 [SPEAKER_00]: What's triggering me? 00:12.554 --> 00:14.555 [SPEAKER_00]: Ah, number one, number two, number three, number four. 00:14.815 --> 00:15.836 [SPEAKER_00]: They've do I have to be that way? 00:15.856 --> 00:18.177 [SPEAKER_00]: Look, let me go and recognize. 00:18.657 --> 00:20.138 [SPEAKER_00]: What does Allah teach me in Allah Quran? 00:20.178 --> 00:21.319 [SPEAKER_00]: He tells me, are important. 00:21.639 --> 00:22.699 [SPEAKER_00]: It tells me you have a purpose. 00:23.080 --> 00:25.741 [SPEAKER_00]: The fact that you're still breathing, meaning you still have a need in this world. 00:26.041 --> 00:26.421 [SPEAKER_00]: What is it? 00:27.482 --> 00:29.423 [SPEAKER_00]: My brothers and sisters, it starts with the individual. 00:30.078 --> 00:37.783 [SPEAKER_00]: Having said this, my dear ancestors are also salalari wa selam described the believer as such, he said, in the Hadithu Shizim Bukhari and Muslim. 00:38.103 --> 00:45.527 [SPEAKER_00]: Method with Mokmin, the method he shajar at in Khadra, the similar truth of a believer, is like an evergreen tree. 00:45.887 --> 00:46.768 [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't name the tree. 00:46.808 --> 00:53.772 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, an evergreen tree, lay a squtu, wa rakuha, its leaves never fall, wala yatahat. 00:54.232 --> 01:00.919 [SPEAKER_00]: He never withers away and then he said, and it is a tree that has such and such descriptions and such and such description and he never named the tree. 01:01.239 --> 01:02.821 [SPEAKER_00]: So he's giving them a test of quiz. 01:03.201 --> 01:04.042 [SPEAKER_00]: He wants them to think. 01:04.342 --> 01:06.465 [SPEAKER_00]: Which tree my brother and sister do you think it is? 01:06.845 --> 01:07.526 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyone know here? 01:08.006 --> 01:09.408 [SPEAKER_00]: Which tree is the proper talking about? 01:09.668 --> 01:10.349 [SPEAKER_00]: The palm tree. 01:10.769 --> 01:13.091 [SPEAKER_00]: In Arabic and Nakhil. 01:13.352 --> 01:15.334 [SPEAKER_00]: The palm tree has a special place in the Quran. 01:15.734 --> 01:26.160 [SPEAKER_00]: And evergreen tree, then one of the Sahab as he was young, he said I was about 10 years old, I wanted to say it's the Nakhla, it's the palm tree, but I didn't say it in the process although I said I'm said in the Nakhla, it is the palm tree. 01:26.440 --> 01:28.261 [SPEAKER_00]: So his father said, why didn't you say it, sir? 01:28.281 --> 01:33.004 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, well, I was going to say it, but I saw the other companions not saying anything, I had a respect to them, I stayed quiet. 01:33.224 --> 01:38.788 [SPEAKER_00]: But I'll also allow Selam Hader at a way of teaching us what is the palm tree, the palm tree and then it describes it. 01:39.108 --> 01:41.730 [SPEAKER_00]: It grows in harsh climates. 01:42.290 --> 01:43.891 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't let the climate destroy it. 01:44.192 --> 01:46.233 [SPEAKER_00]: You can put it in any soil, it will grow. 01:46.753 --> 01:49.395 [SPEAKER_00]: Slowly but surely it slowly grows. 01:49.755 --> 01:53.498 [SPEAKER_00]: It takes about seven years to become an adult tree, but it grows eventually. 01:53.818 --> 01:55.840 [SPEAKER_00]: It's so patient that it perceives. 01:56.460 --> 02:12.953 [SPEAKER_00]: Then after it persevere and grows in the harshest climbs, you don't even have to water it produces leaves very far and shade that never wither and they're all evergreen on top of that it produces sweeter dates full of vitamin full of minerals full of protein full of everything 02:14.149 --> 02:19.732 [SPEAKER_00]: And on top of that, you can use its seeds, and on top of that, it will bend its elastic. 02:20.172 --> 02:24.714 [SPEAKER_00]: It bends with the storms, and its tolerance is pretty good, it's resistant. 02:25.154 --> 02:33.558 [SPEAKER_00]: And when it bends, in a storm that would break most trees, the palm tree bends and comes back, and it continues to give from its goodness. 02:34.138 --> 02:35.578 [SPEAKER_00]: it never gives anything bad. 02:36.199 --> 02:38.619 [SPEAKER_00]: He said the believer is like the palm tree. 02:39.199 --> 02:39.860 [SPEAKER_00]: You flexible. 02:40.320 --> 02:42.480 [SPEAKER_00]: You're able to withstand the storms. 02:42.880 --> 03:00.245 [SPEAKER_00]: You're able to continue giving goodness even at all odds, whether you're a husband, whether you're a wife, whether you're a child, whether you're a parent, whether you are a leader, whether you are a normal person in the community, whether you are an individual or a person who has large families resources, it doesn't really matter who you are. 03:00.545 --> 03:08.769 [SPEAKER_00]: healthy or unhealthy, full with everything in your body or hand, the capital disabled, a believer at the end of the day, finds a way to be resilient. 03:09.069 --> 03:09.869 [SPEAKER_00]: Always brings goodness. 03:10.289 --> 03:13.471 [SPEAKER_00]: When they describe the Rassus al-Allahu al-Azana, they asked his wife, how was he? 03:13.811 --> 03:15.632 [SPEAKER_00]: Siskana Kakana Bashushal, was he? 03:15.952 --> 03:18.373 [SPEAKER_00]: Every time he entered the home, he managed to still smile. 03:18.693 --> 03:21.474 [SPEAKER_00]: when all the odds were against them, his mind, so the lie was held. 03:21.734 --> 03:21.934 [SPEAKER_00]: Why? 03:21.954 --> 03:23.894 [SPEAKER_00]: Hamdulillah, you have your danyah. 03:24.114 --> 03:25.635 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're ready to die with that in who cares? 03:25.655 --> 03:29.275 [SPEAKER_00]: This dunya is one path, and beautiful, whatever you can get out of it. 03:29.696 --> 03:32.216 [SPEAKER_00]: But you also have the hereafter, Hamdulillah, you're not losing. 03:32.696 --> 03:47.320 [SPEAKER_00]: My brothers and sisters, you also, also, in saying that the Quran and the Hadiths and the Prophet al-Assalam validate and acknowledge people's pain, people's torment, people's traumas, people's anxieties and people's depression, 03:48.700 --> 03:55.969 [SPEAKER_00]: And a lot spanthala continuously reminds us In the quarter-end, do not fear, do not fear, do not fear How do you not fear? 03:56.409 --> 04:03.377 [SPEAKER_00]: Recognize yourself So there are things that something called the three R's Recognize resilience Repair 04:04.258 --> 04:06.660 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to tell you and share with you something important here. 04:06.941 --> 04:10.384 [SPEAKER_00]: That is both studied in science and psychology and also in Nelsonna. 04:10.624 --> 04:13.507 [SPEAKER_00]: The core of Nelsonna, the core of our dean, teaches us this. 04:13.948 --> 04:20.975 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you become strong after the calamities, after adversities? 04:21.355 --> 04:22.977 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you continue to go as a believer? 04:23.357 --> 04:28.602 [SPEAKER_00]: After traumas, no matter what they are, you recognise, you learn resilience and then you repair. 04:28.962 --> 04:30.524 [SPEAKER_00]: It starts physically in your brain. 04:30.804 --> 04:32.686 [SPEAKER_00]: Did you know that it starts physically in your brain? 04:33.106 --> 04:36.829 [SPEAKER_00]: Meaning Islam has come to teach us through the stories of the prophets. 04:37.310 --> 04:40.693 [SPEAKER_00]: That although we are not like the prophets, we can learn from the prophets. 04:41.153 --> 04:46.294 [SPEAKER_00]: Number one, none of us will ever be as tested as the prophets. 04:46.554 --> 04:47.554 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't worry about that. 04:47.714 --> 04:49.335 [SPEAKER_00]: But we'll get a portion of it. 04:49.635 --> 05:04.377 [SPEAKER_00]: So the first thing we learn is to recognize that whatever has happened to you, whatever traumas, whatever environment, whatever background you have, whatever grief you went through, you do not need to define yourself by that experience. 05:04.957 --> 05:08.458 [SPEAKER_00]: You are not that person unless you define yourself that way. 05:08.738 --> 05:15.182 [SPEAKER_00]: Meaning if I went through grief, I can say to myself, I am destined to remain sad for the rest of my life. 05:15.482 --> 05:16.983 [SPEAKER_00]: But you see the one who said that is me. 05:17.523 --> 05:23.666 [SPEAKER_00]: If I had been through traumatic experiences, I can sit there blaming the trauma all my life and say where I am. 05:24.247 --> 05:27.568 [SPEAKER_00]: Or I can believe that yes, be Ivnila by the will of Allah. 05:27.729 --> 05:30.970 [SPEAKER_00]: I can physically be Ivnila change my mindset. 05:31.010 --> 05:31.871 [SPEAKER_00]: I can change my brain. 05:32.251 --> 05:33.192 [SPEAKER_00]: I can change my brain. 05:33.672 --> 05:40.056 [SPEAKER_00]: And there anything, something called brain plasticity, you can change literally the brain, be it nila, Allah has given us that ability. 05:40.336 --> 05:49.221 [SPEAKER_00]: And everything in our deen, the dua, the zikr, the salat, the heerafta, the stories, the providence, the Quran, all of it tells us you have that power, you have that ability. 05:49.861 --> 05:57.944 [SPEAKER_00]: Recognize that you can literally change the neurons and pathways in your brain by slowly training them to do so. 05:58.465 --> 06:00.145 [SPEAKER_00]: First of all, recognize your triggers. 06:00.646 --> 06:01.466 [SPEAKER_00]: What's triggering me? 06:01.946 --> 06:03.947 [SPEAKER_00]: Ah, number one, number two, number three, number four. 06:04.207 --> 06:05.227 [SPEAKER_00]: They've do I have to be that way? 06:05.247 --> 06:07.568 [SPEAKER_00]: Look, let me go and recognize. 06:08.049 --> 06:09.529 [SPEAKER_00]: What does Allah teach me in the Quran? 06:09.569 --> 06:10.710 [SPEAKER_00]: He tells me, are important. 06:11.030 --> 06:12.090 [SPEAKER_00]: It tells me you have a purpose. 06:12.470 --> 06:15.132 [SPEAKER_00]: The fact that you're still breathing, meaning you still have a need in this world. 06:15.432 --> 06:15.792 [SPEAKER_00]: What is it? 06:16.342 --> 06:18.043 [SPEAKER_00]: How many into the blessings that Allah has given you? 06:18.063 --> 06:18.924 [SPEAKER_00]: What skills do you have? 06:19.345 --> 06:22.007 [SPEAKER_00]: Even if it's a small as a word that you can say. 06:22.387 --> 06:28.532 [SPEAKER_00]: Even if it's a small as a little pamphlet that you wrote, of course, you know and make sure you know what you're writing and get advice. 06:28.812 --> 06:29.773 [SPEAKER_00]: Not just haphazardly. 06:30.113 --> 06:30.714 [SPEAKER_00]: Something small. 06:31.034 --> 06:33.156 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, Laith, Allah has found out it doesn't look at the outcome. 06:33.216 --> 06:33.997 [SPEAKER_00]: It looks at your effort. 06:34.197 --> 06:37.119 [SPEAKER_00]: But bit by bit by bit, like little rain drops. 06:37.219 --> 06:39.101 [SPEAKER_00]: They can penetrate through rocks and mountains. 06:39.461 --> 06:46.746 [SPEAKER_00]: My brothers and sisters, when we look at Nuhalehi Salam, we find the test of losing his son forever. 06:47.126 --> 06:56.113 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not just talking about a son or a child who's gone on drugs or gone with a gang, we're talking about a child who's lost both this world and he will never see him in paradise ever again. 06:56.633 --> 06:59.495 [SPEAKER_00]: And the waves came and took him before his eyes, Nuhalehi Salam. 06:59.815 --> 07:02.256 [SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of fun that tells you be empathetic with yourself. 07:02.336 --> 07:04.917 [SPEAKER_00]: You try it as a parent to raise your children at the end. 07:05.277 --> 07:06.978 [SPEAKER_00]: If you can't do anything and you try. 07:07.358 --> 07:09.119 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't blame yourself and beat yourself over. 07:09.139 --> 07:09.859 [SPEAKER_00]: Do other things. 07:09.879 --> 07:10.919 [SPEAKER_00]: Look after your other children. 07:10.979 --> 07:11.479 [SPEAKER_00]: Keep going. 07:11.740 --> 07:12.920 [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, don't give up. 07:13.340 --> 07:15.281 [SPEAKER_00]: But don't blame yourself so you don't be debilitated. 07:15.661 --> 07:21.926 [SPEAKER_00]: When we look at Nohalle Selam's wife, she turned on him and joined the enemies too, but it didn't stop him from continuing. 07:22.286 --> 07:24.448 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, he grieved, yes, he cried, and that's okay. 07:25.088 --> 07:29.852 [SPEAKER_00]: This land did not come to tell you don't grieve, don't feel the pain, don't try to fight it. 07:30.132 --> 07:33.915 [SPEAKER_00]: But try to add with things that you can do. 07:34.576 --> 07:37.178 [SPEAKER_00]: Why should you deny yourself happiness on the other side? 07:37.578 --> 07:42.122 [SPEAKER_00]: Resilient action that you can put forward to be productive in other ways. 07:42.562 --> 07:43.763 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't stop you from doing that. 07:44.143 --> 08:00.222 [SPEAKER_00]: Recognize your triggers and remember that Abraham Ali is salam went through trouble with his own father who told him Get out of my house and if you stay here, I will stone you to death La Arajamannaq, I will stone you to death Wahjornim Aliya, get out, he disowned him onto the streets 08:00.702 --> 08:11.906 [SPEAKER_00]: But Ibrahim Ali Selam did not let the fact that he's carried his father's genetics, or that he was born from a mother and father who had this attitude, he did not let that define him. 08:12.226 --> 08:16.228 [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't sit there saying, because my father is like that, I'm going to be like that, I'm doomed. 08:16.488 --> 08:16.748 [SPEAKER_00]: Nah. 08:17.068 --> 08:25.191 [SPEAKER_00]: He took control of himself and he said, yeah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, Abatiyah, and his words proved it. 08:25.371 --> 08:27.011 [SPEAKER_00]: And in the end even when he exiled and told him, 08:29.132 --> 08:30.774 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to ask Allah to pardon you, Dad. 08:31.055 --> 08:33.759 [SPEAKER_00]: And then he said, In either heaven, I don't be say your Hadid. 08:33.819 --> 08:35.381 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go to my daughter who will guide me. 08:35.722 --> 08:38.405 [SPEAKER_00]: And I've never been unblasting my daughter to my Lord. 08:38.425 --> 08:40.228 [SPEAKER_00]: He recognized who else is there for him. 08:40.288 --> 08:41.169 [SPEAKER_00]: Allah will never leave you. 08:41.450 --> 08:43.593 [SPEAKER_00]: So they're not define yourself with your past promise. 08:43.793 --> 08:44.734 [SPEAKER_00]: You can change it in Shab. 08:45.494 --> 08:50.598 [SPEAKER_00]: When we look at Asia, the wife of Pharaoh, she did not sit there saying, you know, that's it. 08:50.878 --> 08:52.319 [SPEAKER_00]: The entire kingdom is against me. 08:52.379 --> 08:55.662 [SPEAKER_00]: She smiled and the torture and said, oh my Lord, built for me a house for you. 08:55.902 --> 08:57.463 [SPEAKER_00]: She lost everything, so she gave it up. 08:57.744 --> 09:00.126 [SPEAKER_00]: She's all a bill for me a house, they're still hoping shall. 09:00.386 --> 09:03.849 [SPEAKER_00]: And on Yakubali, Selam, lost his son and he went blind from sadness. 09:04.129 --> 09:06.771 [SPEAKER_00]: He said there and said, I'm not going to complain to you, my children. 09:07.031 --> 09:09.753 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go and complain to Allah's Panoat, the higher the my sorrow. 09:10.033 --> 09:10.554 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need you. 09:11.014 --> 09:13.755 [SPEAKER_00]: Yunus alaihi salam in the belly of the big fish. 09:13.775 --> 09:14.795 [SPEAKER_00]: He did not give up. 09:14.915 --> 09:15.675 [SPEAKER_00]: He made a mistake. 09:15.995 --> 09:18.616 [SPEAKER_00]: But if not define himself by that mistake, he repented. 09:18.956 --> 09:23.257 [SPEAKER_00]: Subhanaka la ilaha illa anta Subhanaka inni kuntumin al-Valimin. 09:23.297 --> 09:33.759 [SPEAKER_00]: The probsalala al-salam said the one among the best dwellers that will leave you from any a worry or hardship or misery is to say la ilaha illa anta Subhanaka inni kuntumin al-Valimin. 09:33.779 --> 09:35.619 [SPEAKER_00]: My Lord, there is no God worthy of worship but you. 09:36.139 --> 09:37.060 [SPEAKER_00]: How perfect you are. 09:37.540 --> 09:38.780 [SPEAKER_00]: I have been among the wrongdoers. 09:39.220 --> 09:50.708 [SPEAKER_00]: until Allah saved and He says, what Qadalli kanun jil mukminin and whoever says this word believing in it and and having conviction in it, we will also treat them in this same way by doing what Najjainahumin al-Ram. 09:51.008 --> 09:53.410 [SPEAKER_00]: We saved him from the claustrophobia. 09:53.630 --> 09:57.592 [SPEAKER_00]: The stories go on and on in the Quran about resilience next resilience. 09:58.053 --> 09:59.774 [SPEAKER_00]: You can insha Allahu t-ta'ala change. 10:00.074 --> 10:09.777 [SPEAKER_00]: with little bits and pieces of actions, exercise, changing the mindset, reading from the Quran and trying to learn from the Prophet, send the direction that Allah's Pantata told you. 10:09.937 --> 10:17.138 [SPEAKER_00]: Having a support network, having people who can share with your optimism and so on, all of this insha'Allah can help you along the way. 10:17.499 --> 10:24.020 [SPEAKER_00]: If you ever sat with a friend where you were speaking your worries and that friend said a couple of words and you go, I never thought of it that way. 10:24.480 --> 10:26.061 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes Allah's Pantata brings you that help. 10:26.801 --> 10:32.944 [SPEAKER_00]: My brothers and sisters, Duhar is very important, and a lot of people think that Duhar is only for asking a lot of the things. 10:33.344 --> 10:52.793 [SPEAKER_00]: And Allah kindly and gently tells us in Makoraan, when man goes through some adversity, he calls upon us night and day and where the restending was sitting and crying with all his heart, and when we take away the hammer away from him, he forgets, he forgets that he ever called us, he forgets that he ever made Duhar to us. 10:56.410 --> 11:01.776 [SPEAKER_00]: Can't let me down, Abilam says, if he wasn't calling upon it, remember Allah also in Eiz? 11:02.256 --> 11:11.086 [SPEAKER_00]: Doha is also talking to Allah, you have someone that you can sit at the night in the night and say, My Lord, Allah, my Lord, Allah, Allah, it has a huge difference. 11:11.566 --> 11:14.329 [SPEAKER_00]: Slowly but surely, the brain starts to change. 11:14.690 --> 11:16.051 [SPEAKER_00]: Then you repair it in the land. 11:16.392 --> 11:19.215 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's what Islam can, and then he came to tell you this hope, you can