WEBVTT 00:02.231 --> 00:05.213 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey everyone, welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 00:05.313 --> 00:08.316 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host, Therling, and I am so glad that you are here today. 00:08.556 --> 00:17.123 [SPEAKER_01]: I am joined by Brent Blanks in Brent spent 17 years as a licensed marriage and family therapist before she stepped into a new role as a content creator. 00:17.583 --> 00:22.647 [SPEAKER_01]: And now, she is the author of Listen Closer, believing God's truth over the world's lies. 00:23.287 --> 00:32.875 [SPEAKER_01]: So in this conversation, Brent shares about the lies women often believe about their worth and their identity, and why recognizing negative thought cycles is so important for our mental health. 00:33.395 --> 00:44.405 [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to hear practical steps for replacing those lies with God's truth, the power of Scripture and worship music to reach ape are thinking in why giving ourselves grace and hard seasons matters so much. 00:45.165 --> 00:50.270 [SPEAKER_01]: Brent also reminds us that well-change can feel scary, it can also be a beautiful part of God's plan. 00:51.023 --> 00:54.305 [SPEAKER_01]: If this episode resonates with you, make sure you check out Listen Closer. 00:54.425 --> 00:58.347 [SPEAKER_01]: I have links to it in the show notes, and also don't forget to like and review the show. 00:58.427 --> 00:59.467 [SPEAKER_01]: It means so much to me. 00:59.988 --> 01:08.132 [SPEAKER_01]: This episode is full of encouragement for parents who need a reminder that small, faithful moments matter, and that God is with us in every stage of the journey. 01:16.568 --> 01:18.789 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, Brent, welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 01:18.989 --> 01:19.589 [SPEAKER_01]: Right there. 01:19.649 --> 01:21.330 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for having me today. 01:21.350 --> 01:23.471 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I am thrilled to have you. 01:23.511 --> 01:29.154 [SPEAKER_01]: Can you just start just tell us a little bit about yourself, tell us about your family, tell us what you do just so we can get to know you a little bit. 01:29.434 --> 01:33.056 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so I'm based in Burry, Him, Alabama. 01:34.056 --> 01:39.899 [SPEAKER_00]: Been here pretty much, my whole life except for years and Auburn, where I went to school. 01:40.700 --> 01:41.380 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm, 01:41.840 --> 01:58.304 [SPEAKER_00]: met my husband there and we moved back here after college and we have four children to add all burn so let's go um have one uh we've got a senior in high school and then all the way down to a six grade boy. 01:58.684 --> 02:13.246 [SPEAKER_00]: So we range a pretty good deal, so there are four children in our family and I'm a content creator, business owner, and that will probably come up in our conversations, but have been doing that for about eight years now. 02:13.546 --> 02:15.067 [SPEAKER_00]: Now your older one's boys are girls. 02:15.287 --> 02:18.708 [SPEAKER_00]: We had three girls and then we had Paul. 02:18.728 --> 02:21.589 [SPEAKER_00]: So yes, all girls and then Paul's. 02:21.769 --> 02:31.112 [SPEAKER_00]: He was a wonderful gift from the Lord, one that we know we're gonna get to have, but that kind of explains the age difference. 02:31.792 --> 02:39.475 [SPEAKER_00]: And he was a surprise in many ways and not just a surprise that we were having in our baby, but also that he was supposed to be a girl. 02:39.655 --> 02:42.776 [SPEAKER_00]: The whole pregnancy started a girl, a fourth girl. 02:43.836 --> 02:54.463 [SPEAKER_01]: And then he shows up always, so you're like, I don't have anything to do with you, you know, that's so funny and now you're learning all things middle school boy, which is an adventure. 02:55.378 --> 02:58.579 [SPEAKER_00]: It isn't adventure and very different than girls. 02:58.839 --> 03:01.040 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, what's the biggest difference that you noticed? 03:01.320 --> 03:10.683 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so I feel like that our girls going into sixth grade, like I kind of felt like they were ready for the transition and first in my best friend. 03:10.703 --> 03:12.983 [SPEAKER_00]: Now we're talking about this yesterday, actually. 03:13.344 --> 03:17.445 [SPEAKER_00]: But I feel like boys are slower to adjust to, 03:18.245 --> 03:37.285 [SPEAKER_00]: school and I feel like they're more I don't know like I almost feel like they're expected to behave more maturely than they may be ready to be 11 or 12 year olds and I don't know I just we know girls are more emotionally, you know grown up in a lot of ways and boys anyway, I'm as they're growing up to these years. 03:38.180 --> 03:58.268 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, I just like it's been a harder adjustment for him that yeah, he just like juggling the class load and changing classes and in our having to really be like, all right, we've got to remember that like we were, you know, we have one that's a senior in college, but we also really need to make sure we're tending to this sixth grade boy that it's a real. 03:59.159 --> 04:21.192 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a real change for him, so yeah, yeah, my oldest is an eighth grade boy and my middle is a fifth grade boy and we start middle school and fifth grade at our school, but yeah, adjusting to middle school has been a journey and I feel like my eighth grader is just figuring it out and I'm like, right now we need to go to high school next year change perfect perfect, but I don't know, we'll figure that out too. 04:21.492 --> 04:24.274 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, just when they get in the rhythm of it and then it changes. 04:24.694 --> 04:26.175 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I know, always. 04:26.195 --> 04:27.615 [SPEAKER_01]: That's how God keeps us on our toes. 04:27.916 --> 04:29.436 [SPEAKER_01]: That's how patient people are on our toes. 04:30.037 --> 04:31.797 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's exactly right, yeah. 04:32.118 --> 04:35.979 [SPEAKER_01]: OK, well, you spent 17 years as a marriage and family therapist. 04:35.999 --> 04:41.422 [SPEAKER_01]: So you have all sorts of experience working with various families in situations. 04:41.562 --> 04:43.723 [SPEAKER_01]: And then you now have a lifestyle brand. 04:43.923 --> 04:47.385 [SPEAKER_01]: So how do you feel like, tell us a little bit about their journey? 04:47.405 --> 04:53.248 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, how do you feel like being a marriage and family therapist kind of equipped you to encourage women in the true 04:54.168 --> 05:13.747 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was, it's been a great journey of your interesting journey and I do hope that the message comes loud and clear to, to those of you listening about just the idea of what the world will tell us about change and being fearful content with some other children. 05:15.833 --> 05:16.994 [SPEAKER_00]: versus what God says. 05:17.074 --> 05:20.816 [SPEAKER_00]: So hopefully that will speak loud and clear as we walk through this. 05:20.936 --> 05:25.599 [SPEAKER_00]: But you know, how is race or what's kind of like when you go to school and you get your degree? 05:25.939 --> 05:28.300 [SPEAKER_00]: That is what you're going to be doing for the rest of your life. 05:28.380 --> 05:32.183 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's just where you are in and so on and so forth. 05:32.203 --> 05:32.903 [SPEAKER_00]: So you retire. 05:33.003 --> 05:37.366 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I had gone to get, I was a licensed marriage family therapist. 05:37.526 --> 05:39.247 [SPEAKER_00]: And as you were saying, practice. 05:39.347 --> 05:39.427 [SPEAKER_00]: And 05:40.027 --> 05:49.673 [SPEAKER_00]: hospital settings and private practice and most recently, before leaving that field, I was with a cardiac unit at a children's hospital here in Birmingham. 05:49.693 --> 06:00.119 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was just a really, um, as much as you got to see miracles, you did get to see a lot of wonderful miracles and healing and children getting better and heart transplants. 06:00.700 --> 06:02.661 [SPEAKER_00]: It was very heavy as well. 06:03.941 --> 06:14.085 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm primarily worked with the parents and of course the children that were going through the cardiac health issues and so it was just really heavy day to day. 06:14.105 --> 06:22.368 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, you know, I couldn't figure out why does it feel especially heavy now because for years, you know. 06:22.788 --> 06:37.828 [SPEAKER_00]: whether it had been grief, clients have been working with, or marital, just the heaviness was different than it had been in the past and simultaneously my dad who is just beloved and precious with miss him so much he was going through stage four cancer. 06:38.388 --> 06:48.936 [SPEAKER_00]: kind of all during this time, so, and so I needed an outlet, I needed therapy from my own life, and basically, I just found it in the form of moving things around our home. 06:49.296 --> 07:01.405 [SPEAKER_00]: It just felt therapeutic, and maybe some of y'all can relate to that, but, you know, like, just moving a table and decorating it differently, and so, all that to say, it definitely 07:02.185 --> 07:12.374 [SPEAKER_00]: ended up being to where I figured out what Instagram was and started sharing pictures on there of our home and of course launched a community that we're talking about was to give it a go. 07:13.435 --> 07:19.540 [SPEAKER_00]: It really did start as a community of women that were like minded. 07:20.013 --> 07:23.795 [SPEAKER_00]: that I was like, whoa, what is all this out here on the social media world? 07:23.875 --> 07:25.716 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'm over here in the counseling world. 07:25.976 --> 07:40.342 [SPEAKER_00]: Don't really know about Instagram, but I found such encouragement between the other women that were all so sharing on Instagram and another platform to share about faith and how God, just a neat way to do it right. 07:41.983 --> 07:45.806 [SPEAKER_00]: that he can use social media to share about his goodness and kindness and grace. 07:45.906 --> 07:50.950 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it was very mutual other women that were sharing their homes. 07:50.990 --> 07:53.552 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm sharing my homes and we would just connect it on that. 07:53.832 --> 08:06.983 [SPEAKER_00]: And of course, you know, over time, as my Instagram started to grow, not only was I sharing home decor, but I wanted to keep the faith as part of it, as well as family resources. 08:08.064 --> 08:19.134 [SPEAKER_00]: And pretty regularly, I would just have messages coming in from women that would say, hey, I've got a daughter that, you know, is struggling, what is a devotional book you would recommend? 08:19.215 --> 08:21.697 [SPEAKER_00]: What's a resource you'd recommend for, you know. 08:22.449 --> 08:25.033 [SPEAKER_00]: my age women saying I'm destroying as a wife. 08:25.113 --> 08:29.379 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, really, that friend of friend, right, year on this online community. 08:29.680 --> 08:37.531 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's been cool over the years to say, hey, there's this need, and I want to talk with them and pray with them and recommend resources. 08:38.352 --> 08:53.484 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that kind of like birth this idea of where God was leading me about a year and a half ago to say hey I've got this wild mix right of like here you are talking to women online about they're opening up their hearts to you and you care for them and 08:54.886 --> 09:05.360 [SPEAKER_00]: And there's a need and then you also still have such a passion for your marriage and failing therapy training and how to bring those two things together actually a lot of different things together. 09:05.461 --> 09:08.905 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and that's how the book idea started. 09:09.025 --> 09:09.887 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah. 09:11.144 --> 09:22.012 [SPEAKER_01]: I love your story because I think as moms, sometimes we get afraid to pivot, or we feel like we're stuck somewhere, especially if you start one thing and then you take some time off to stay home. 09:22.152 --> 09:26.435 [SPEAKER_01]: And we're even if he's gone like a shorter maternity leave and then you come back and you're like wait, what am I doing here? 09:26.495 --> 09:29.917 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, things don't feel right and it can be so scary to start over. 09:30.258 --> 09:35.441 [SPEAKER_01]: But it's possible, especially if God's calling you to something because he's so faithful and so good. 09:35.721 --> 09:36.202 [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly. 09:38.143 --> 09:55.523 [SPEAKER_00]: My husband, I were talking about how I think we can perceive change as like when you take that step, if God is calling you or saying, if God is calling you somewhere, they were like, whoa, we've got to step across this scary cavern, you know, that's like, 09:56.524 --> 09:57.665 [SPEAKER_00]: Really do this. 09:57.785 --> 09:59.546 [SPEAKER_00]: Is this really what's about to happen? 10:00.247 --> 10:08.032 [SPEAKER_00]: And scripture tells us so differently that, you know, the I word is a lamp and to my feet and a light into my path. 10:08.112 --> 10:11.074 [SPEAKER_00]: And so he just, you know, he's showing us the next step. 10:11.114 --> 10:14.517 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's we're not even stepping over a scary cavern. 10:14.557 --> 10:15.958 [SPEAKER_00]: We're just the next step. 10:15.998 --> 10:19.900 [SPEAKER_00]: And he's showing us the way with that land or like I just take the next step. 10:20.020 --> 10:20.621 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it doesn't. 10:21.001 --> 10:34.052 [SPEAKER_00]: The world wants us to think it's scary and we should fear change when in my favorite the world says this but God's word says this and the bug is just just what the world will tell us that we should fear change when really it's. 10:35.093 --> 10:35.834 [SPEAKER_00]: That's just the world. 10:35.874 --> 10:36.874 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not God's truth. 10:36.975 --> 10:39.637 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah it's easy to fall into that way of thinking. 10:39.917 --> 10:40.858 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely. 10:40.938 --> 10:48.662 [SPEAKER_01]: And you do you challenge 31 different like common lies or falsehoods that women believe in, then you counter it with scripture-based truth. 10:48.742 --> 10:56.005 [SPEAKER_01]: So what do you think some of the most common lies are that women believe about their identity or their purpose or their worth or their situation? 10:56.206 --> 11:04.230 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we, so I, one of my goals was to make sure I was at my own subject, when I was in college. 11:04.850 --> 11:21.976 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I mean, I am a woman and I feel like I've gone through a lot of struggles, but I also wanted to see, hey, do you struggle with this too, or, you know, hearing from other women and friends and online, like, these are just common themes that kept popping up, not just for me, but for other women. 11:22.316 --> 11:32.119 [SPEAKER_00]: And I will say that similar themes will be weaved throughout the book, because as women, we can hear it once, and we've still got to hear it again and again. 11:32.419 --> 11:32.559 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 11:33.520 --> 11:33.900 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 11:34.921 --> 11:49.116 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and today I'm sitting there going I needed I needed to hear a certain one today for sure again for the hundredth time You know obviously there, you know some of the common themes would be like how we define our worth whether it's through our physical appearance 11:49.937 --> 12:06.694 [SPEAKER_00]: A big one for me has been and continues to be that I fight against performance that you know I'm I am only worth how well I will perform today as a mom as a business owner as a wife I still fall into that trap a lot of time so I have to release. 12:07.134 --> 12:08.995 [SPEAKER_00]: Speak scripture over that my life. 12:09.215 --> 12:29.167 [SPEAKER_00]: I think we can kind of on the heels of that find that you know little things don't really matter Our world says like successes found in your achievements and you know what you can show what you've done Where as we know that guide tells us that small moments are meaningful and powerful and they do matter. 12:29.207 --> 12:30.348 [SPEAKER_00]: You know if we go in 12:30.948 --> 12:38.231 [SPEAKER_00]: I love to say this example because if we go in and clean our children's room maybe while they're at school, just as an act of love, not on a regular basis. 12:38.591 --> 12:40.012 [SPEAKER_00]: But that matters. 12:40.092 --> 12:45.754 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not something that you necessarily post on your Instagram feed or shout to the world. 12:45.834 --> 12:48.855 [SPEAKER_00]: But it's a small moment that says, I love you. 12:48.915 --> 12:53.497 [SPEAKER_00]: I was thinking about you and I spent 10 minutes today just praying over you as I was 12:56.478 --> 13:17.947 [SPEAKER_00]: but the world doesn't want us to really capitalize on small moments and so yeah I mean it's just so much about identity and where we find our worth, where we find our value and I think as women a lot of times we don't even realize that it's a lie until like we see it you know we're like whoa that really isn't scriptural you know 13:19.407 --> 13:27.735 [SPEAKER_00]: So we have fallen, we have fallen quite a belief that it is true because it's become so much of our narrative in our head. 13:27.755 --> 13:39.186 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what would you say are some of the like, I want to say like warning signs are like, how can people recognize if that inner dialogue is being shaped by the world and by lies more than by God's word? 13:39.406 --> 14:00.987 [SPEAKER_00]: think it so to me one of the easiest places to start is the whole book is based on the theory or the technique found and counseling and therapy which is the CBT theory so it's cognitive behavioral therapy which basically says that the way that our thoughts are going the narrative we tell ourselves will directly impact. 14:01.447 --> 14:05.150 [SPEAKER_00]: how we act, which will directly impact how we feel. 14:05.510 --> 14:11.534 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're a visual learner, you can just imagine like a cycle with little arrows in between each one. 14:11.634 --> 14:21.121 [SPEAKER_00]: So our thoughts lead to our behaviors, behaviors lead to our feelings and it can be either a really positive cycle or it can be a really negative cycle. 14:21.181 --> 14:23.043 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm telling you, it is easy to do. 14:24.083 --> 14:38.327 [SPEAKER_00]: 100 different types of cycles all day long, you may be in a really positive one because something went really well for you an hour ago and then all your kids are upset and crying and now you're in that negative cycle where it's like you can get through this. 14:38.507 --> 14:40.128 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, to me, 14:40.888 --> 14:48.510 [SPEAKER_00]: your question would, would kind of be answered in the sense that, you know, start without your feeling, you know, am I feeling overburdened? 14:48.650 --> 14:49.811 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I feeling stressed? 14:49.871 --> 14:51.011 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I feeling anxious? 14:51.271 --> 14:52.651 [SPEAKER_00]: Does life feel chaotic? 14:52.851 --> 14:54.652 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I just heavy burdened? 14:55.072 --> 14:56.853 [SPEAKER_00]: The way to the world is on me. 14:57.073 --> 14:58.053 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm snappy. 14:58.573 --> 15:05.455 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're just kind of like evaluating your feelings, but maybe also behaviors, you know, if it's hard 15:09.036 --> 15:25.092 [SPEAKER_00]: I can ask my husband like am I have I've been shorter with you have I've been less quick to forgive you have I not been really showing you grace the grace and mercy that maybe I was a couple months ago or just yesterday ask your friends, you know, have you have you noticed a change in in my 15:25.692 --> 15:26.832 [SPEAKER_00]: Spirit and personality. 15:26.872 --> 15:35.735 [SPEAKER_00]: So just kind of markers that may say, hey, what am I telling myself throughout the day that's leading to the state of how I am right now? 15:35.915 --> 15:41.057 [SPEAKER_00]: And please hear me loud and clear that it is a hundred percent okay to feel angry. 15:41.097 --> 15:42.938 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a hundred percent okay to feel sad. 15:42.958 --> 15:45.598 [SPEAKER_00]: Those are all very valid emotions. 15:45.638 --> 15:52.881 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't have to be always happy, but the point is is that you the cycle that keeps you feeling stuck. 15:52.921 --> 15:53.381 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what 15:54.201 --> 16:06.292 [SPEAKER_00]: want to challenge you to recognize and see and how just changing your thoughts can help bring you out of a cycle that may feel like people keep telling me to be happier or cheer up and I have no idea how to. 16:06.312 --> 16:11.177 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know where to start because my life is is really not going well right now. 16:11.457 --> 16:20.871 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and so even if it's just changing your thoughts to something, you know, that either is covered in this book or just a scripture, that is somewhere to start. 16:21.331 --> 16:26.159 [SPEAKER_00]: That is, that is a place to start, even when you don't feel like it just to change what you're saying to yourself. 16:26.459 --> 16:56.186 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, I think what's interesting is that when you're talking about how you can be having experiencing like a different cycles a hundred different ones throughout the day and I think that's especially for women because we compartmentalize so many different things, you know, like there's my work life and then there's my parenting and then there's my kids and then there's my friends and then there's my working out, you know, like everything is just in it's a little box and it doesn't all go well at the same time it doesn't it doesn't at all it's kind of what you're saying like dependent on how well it goes that's also we can fall back into. 16:57.266 --> 17:15.193 [SPEAKER_00]: like even just take the workout example, like if I didn't have a good workout, well, am I, you know, am I now out of shape or I'm comparing myself to this other girl in the class with me, you know, and so now I'll leave the workout, which yeah, at least worked out, but we don't think that way, it's like, but I'm not as in good shape as she is. 17:15.413 --> 17:18.897 [SPEAKER_00]: you know, she wasn't really able to do a lot more than I was able to. 17:19.157 --> 17:35.015 [SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, it just is these cycles and the good news is there's great news in all this and that is that as you practice changing your narrative and as you were asking, being able to recognize more the narratives that aren't the truth. 17:35.375 --> 17:38.859 [SPEAKER_00]: And hopefully this book will help you begin to recognize what Am I saying? 17:38.959 --> 17:41.481 [SPEAKER_00]: That's one of one tool that it gets easier. 17:41.742 --> 17:48.589 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's kind of like building a muscle, you know, you do have to just it's going to take effort and it's going to take intentionality. 17:48.629 --> 17:58.119 [SPEAKER_00]: And so if you're not used to recognizing what goes on in your head throughout the day, it takes a little bit of effort at first, but I promise you it gets easier. 17:58.439 --> 18:01.581 [SPEAKER_00]: And there are several ways that you can do that. 18:01.761 --> 18:09.805 [SPEAKER_00]: I think scripture, obviously, is the way the book goes, is that it talks about a lot of the world, a biblical truth, and then their scripture. 18:10.145 --> 18:26.694 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, we know that the Holy Spirit will just speak on our behalf when we don't know what else to say, and I believe there's been so many times in my life that when it has been such a hard spot, when things are not going well, that he will bring to mind the scripture 18:27.755 --> 18:41.100 [SPEAKER_00]: reading maybe in the moments where we are having good days and we are, you know, having that quiet time in the morning, that will come back to our mind and our heart and help us change our narrative even in those more difficult moments. 18:41.200 --> 18:44.982 [SPEAKER_00]: We have to put praise music on around our house in the mornings to keep the chaos. 18:45.862 --> 18:47.163 [SPEAKER_00]: more under control. 18:47.463 --> 18:53.347 [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, most worship music is scripture, you know, you find that a lot of the words or verses out of the Bible. 18:53.467 --> 19:02.572 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, that's another way to change, like, sort of thinking, like, I do, you know, I've got a hundred things I've got to get done today, but I'm trying to be present in this moment. 19:02.952 --> 19:07.276 [SPEAKER_00]: just hearing the words will help reset that narrative a lot of times for me. 19:07.436 --> 19:08.518 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 19:08.538 --> 19:10.740 [SPEAKER_01]: I think we listened to a lot of scripture music too. 19:11.200 --> 19:26.555 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think a really interesting thing about music is that there's been research done with like multiple thousands of families who have adult kids who have a solid faith on their own and they did this research to see like what was it that your family did that made it. 19:26.775 --> 19:47.125 [SPEAKER_01]: like your faith your own and it's I think listening to worship music is number four or five on the biggest things that you can do to help your kid have a lasting faith and I think it is because it's so scripture-based and it's such an easy way to memorize things and so when you're in a cycle and you hear a song you're hearing scripture for the most part, you know, obviously. 19:47.565 --> 19:51.046 [SPEAKER_01]: Some are different, but I just think it's so interesting because it's also so passive parenting. 19:51.246 --> 19:52.206 [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to do anything. 19:52.506 --> 19:53.627 [SPEAKER_01]: You turn the radio on. 19:53.647 --> 20:00.969 [SPEAKER_01]: You just tell Alexa to do it and she's going to go to the lucrative, it's like outsourcing scripture memorization a little bit. 20:01.129 --> 20:02.449 [SPEAKER_00]: That's such a great point. 20:02.529 --> 20:10.572 [SPEAKER_00]: I like how you categorize that because it is such a passive thing that we can just turn on and I'm in think about, but it's impacting our minds. 20:10.692 --> 20:13.132 [SPEAKER_01]: It really is like statistically it makes a difference. 20:13.252 --> 20:15.513 [SPEAKER_01]: And it is it's back to the scripture because I do think that 20:15.873 --> 20:22.357 [SPEAKER_01]: When I even when I visualize those cycles, like you said, like I just imagined, scripture being is is not imagined. 20:22.557 --> 20:30.721 [SPEAKER_01]: It is so important because no matter what we're thinking, there's some sort of biblical truth that we can almost like umbrella over every single cycle. 20:30.822 --> 20:33.763 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like no matter what I'm God's child, no matter what I am loved. 20:34.223 --> 20:36.365 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and that's just that's powerful. 20:37.685 --> 20:45.951 [SPEAKER_00]: And if we're not exposing ourselves to what God says, it will be more difficult to know how to replace the law. 20:46.371 --> 20:57.379 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's a good challenge to say, you know, and that's a good heart check like how familiar am I with, you know, maybe I can recognize the law, but I have no idea with truth is here. 20:57.579 --> 21:14.376 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, if we go back to scripture, he will show you, and I totally agree with you, they're trying to speak to any of these things, and it does, it's a love, it's active, it's applicable to our lives, as parents, as spouses, as employees, it's all there. 21:15.770 --> 21:39.485 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, one of my favorites is Psalm 33 because when we were talking about just the cycle that like it talks about how he is the lifter of our heads and so if our heads are down and we are feeling burdened and anxious and you know I was talking to a friend as a few days ago and I said my stomach is just in nice I just am anxious I'm nervous I really know what's going on. 21:39.985 --> 21:43.168 [SPEAKER_00]: you know, and it's like, he is the lift of our heads. 21:43.188 --> 21:48.133 [SPEAKER_00]: So how do I, what, what other scripture can I plug in there to validate that? 21:48.213 --> 21:49.034 [SPEAKER_00]: I know he is. 21:49.094 --> 21:59.944 [SPEAKER_00]: That's a truth, you know, because the world will say you're stuck, you know, you've dug yourself in this position, you're alone, you know, no, those are falsehood, you know, that he's lifted our heads and 22:00.700 --> 22:28.019 [SPEAKER_00]: And then of course, group for tells us to think on the things that are true and noble and good and all of that and there's a reason that the Bible tells us to do that right it's great instruction is the Lord's instruction for our lives for those of us who know and love Jesus and even if you don't know the Lord that those things will begin to come as you know him and get to know him that those there are great things to think on wonderful things to think on and so. 22:28.459 --> 22:30.341 [SPEAKER_00]: setting our minds on those things. 22:30.621 --> 22:30.901 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 22:31.462 --> 22:41.451 [SPEAKER_01]: And besides scripture, which is obviously, as we talked about, very important, is there like another practical step that listeners can maybe take to replace a lie with a truth? 22:41.671 --> 22:43.994 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I think part of it is, 22:46.635 --> 23:06.342 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to give this example, but one of the things that one of the moments I remember was when our girls, we have three girls that are all very close together and then we have a son that's a few years behind and I remember standing in our kitchen and it was dinner time which we all know as moms that can be most stressful time of the day. 23:08.264 --> 23:08.584 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 23:09.305 --> 23:11.528 [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, you got one that's hungry. 23:11.548 --> 23:12.949 [SPEAKER_00]: You got one that's tired. 23:13.050 --> 23:21.120 [SPEAKER_00]: You've got one that's just probably oblivious and singing really loudly, but all the noise combined just kind of makes you want to shut down as a parent. 23:21.140 --> 23:22.902 [SPEAKER_00]: I know sometimes it would do that for me. 23:23.122 --> 23:25.265 [SPEAKER_00]: And I do think just because this is work. 23:25.505 --> 23:26.946 [SPEAKER_00]: personally for me stuff. 23:27.086 --> 23:35.229 [SPEAKER_00]: I will say that I think one of a sweet gift that God gives us is that he thinks time is a thing, right? 23:35.289 --> 23:36.450 [SPEAKER_00]: We, we know time. 23:36.490 --> 23:37.370 [SPEAKER_00]: We work on days. 23:37.470 --> 23:39.031 [SPEAKER_00]: We have time on our side. 23:39.251 --> 23:46.674 [SPEAKER_00]: And in that moment, just as clear as day the Lord put the thought into my head, which was in one hour. 23:48.026 --> 23:49.426 [SPEAKER_00]: this will all be different. 23:49.786 --> 23:52.747 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, there's going to probably one in their back. 23:53.047 --> 23:54.708 [SPEAKER_00]: They're other one that's hungry. 23:54.768 --> 23:55.708 [SPEAKER_00]: They'll be fed. 23:56.248 --> 24:00.549 [SPEAKER_00]: And then maybe this one that's been kind of loud, maybe just chilling out watching some TV. 24:01.169 --> 24:06.891 [SPEAKER_00]: And mom, me, you may even be reading a book or getting a shower or whatever it is. 24:07.311 --> 24:11.972 [SPEAKER_00]: And that concept of time was so assuring to me as a mom that 24:12.552 --> 24:17.995 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I still get chills because I still vote an off of that same thought today. 24:18.015 --> 24:30.542 [SPEAKER_00]: I will be overwhelmed, um, our kids are older now, but there's other issues that of course come up and in an hour Brent most likely this will be resolved or you will be doing something different. 24:30.902 --> 24:46.990 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I just think, just remembering that we can say to ourselves that just reminding ourselves of time, it will be slower to respond, slower to get angry, slower to be upset if we can just give ourselves grace on that, you know, in 30 minutes in an hour. 24:47.210 --> 24:51.713 [SPEAKER_00]: And then of course, we know God reminds us of that of that this is the day the Lord has made. 24:51.773 --> 24:55.575 [SPEAKER_00]: Let us rejoice in me glad in it and that his mercies are new every morning. 24:55.975 --> 24:58.736 [SPEAKER_00]: So I just feel like we are really given the gift of time. 24:58.817 --> 25:02.238 [SPEAKER_00]: So whatever that means for you, take it and run with it. 25:02.378 --> 25:08.662 [SPEAKER_00]: But you know, definitely the concept of time and just using that in a way that will help you get through that moment in that day. 25:08.682 --> 25:11.263 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it reminds me of when you're in labor. 25:11.283 --> 25:14.225 [SPEAKER_01]: And they're like, you know, you can track to the rate two minutes. 25:14.285 --> 25:17.466 [SPEAKER_01]: Like you can do anything for two minutes and then it will be done. 25:17.566 --> 25:18.747 [SPEAKER_01]: And then you'll get a rest. 25:19.067 --> 25:45.353 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, but I also love that because I feel like that's kind of almost opposite of how we use time as parents or how we like to remind parents, especially moms to use time and so instead of saying like A very typical narrative of that story would be like someday you're going to look back and miss this and that is making like time is fleeting and you're losing your time and that's not helpful because I'm not really miss making dinner with toddlers. 25:45.413 --> 25:46.073 [SPEAKER_01]: I really don't. 25:47.093 --> 25:47.513 [SPEAKER_01]: don't. 25:48.094 --> 25:53.897 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it's like, but that's what we're told a lot and just kind of flipping that a little bit to like in an hour. 25:53.957 --> 25:54.957 [SPEAKER_01]: This is going to be different. 25:55.017 --> 25:57.518 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not wishing it away, but it's saying I can work through it. 25:57.538 --> 26:01.200 [SPEAKER_01]: That's really actually helpful to parents. 26:01.720 --> 26:02.861 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, thank you. 26:03.121 --> 26:04.602 [SPEAKER_00]: It is the Holy Spirit. 26:04.682 --> 26:12.266 [SPEAKER_00]: It was one of those moments where I thought, thank you, Lord, because it has been, it has been a mindset that I've cared with me since then for years. 26:12.646 --> 26:14.167 [SPEAKER_00]: And I love that you said that about 26:15.027 --> 26:16.048 [SPEAKER_00]: these years are fleeting. 26:16.188 --> 26:27.218 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, that is the thing too about some of this that people mean so well and they say things like, just cheer up or just pray more or yeah, you're going to miss these days. 26:27.618 --> 26:37.387 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, they mean well, but in the moment, like if we say that to somebody or for on the receiving end of that, it just, that's not the way to change our narrative. 26:37.467 --> 26:38.068 [SPEAKER_00]: I promise 26:38.568 --> 26:42.431 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think I know it's kind of adds a little bit of gas to the fire. 26:42.511 --> 26:51.038 [SPEAKER_00]: So you know, because at the end of the day, it's kind of thinking like, if I, I mean, for most people, if I could cheer up, I would. 26:51.279 --> 26:53.621 [SPEAKER_00]: If I could be more calm, I would. 26:53.641 --> 26:55.562 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't choose to be anxious. 26:55.902 --> 27:02.368 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not choosing to fill overwhelmed, but I just don't know where to start to relieve myself of it. 27:02.768 --> 27:07.551 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's, you know, that's the part where it's like, of course, I don't want to fill. 27:07.691 --> 27:10.232 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a miserable feeling to be anxious and overwhelmed. 27:10.292 --> 27:14.375 [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody really loves that, but, but how do I start? 27:14.415 --> 27:15.475 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, you know. 27:15.575 --> 27:19.397 [SPEAKER_00]: So, yeah, there's hope and the starting with your thoughts. 27:19.678 --> 27:19.918 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 27:20.398 --> 27:21.219 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what? 27:21.640 --> 27:35.662 [SPEAKER_01]: As we're kind of closing up here, like what final encouragement would you have for parents where listening, who are just trying to listen closer to God's word, take away the cultural silence a little bit, the cultural noise, like what final encouragement would you have? 27:35.722 --> 27:41.546 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that, you know, this is just, it was kind of how I was saying earlier that this is just an ongoing process. 27:42.146 --> 27:45.809 [SPEAKER_00]: My husband laughs at me because he's like, are you, are you reading your book again? 27:45.829 --> 27:50.252 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, yeah, because I'm totally forgotten. 27:50.272 --> 27:53.955 [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of what I'm, what, you know, what I've read. 27:54.915 --> 28:01.159 [SPEAKER_00]: 10 months ago and but I need it I need to be reminded over and over and over again. 28:01.239 --> 28:07.403 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's just our our sin and us ride our our flesh that that we can easily forget some of these things. 28:07.483 --> 28:13.367 [SPEAKER_00]: And so don't be discouraged if you need to remind yourself of this daily put a sticky note up. 28:13.987 --> 28:32.939 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, earmark of a place in your Bible, put it on a screen save or have a friend ask you about it because the more I guess the more that we are practicing it and willing and willing to try it, I promise you that it will get easier and God will just, you know, we can take experience more of the fullness of God, right? 28:33.059 --> 28:34.220 [SPEAKER_00]: That's amazing. 28:34.240 --> 28:36.441 [SPEAKER_00]: This is not a salvation issue. 28:36.461 --> 28:37.882 [SPEAKER_00]: This is more of a 28:38.282 --> 28:46.647 [SPEAKER_00]: If I can just, if I can replace the world with God's truth, I'm just exposed to more of his goodness and his mercy, we start to see it around us. 28:47.068 --> 28:54.472 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really encouraging, you know, it's such a great thing to, to shift our minds and to put our, our thoughts on the truth. 28:54.853 --> 28:56.233 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, like giving. 28:56.594 --> 28:57.935 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, thank you so much. 28:57.955 --> 29:01.397 [SPEAKER_01]: I just really appreciate all of your wisdom that you have shared with us. 29:01.457 --> 29:06.440 [SPEAKER_01]: Can you tell us where we can connect with you and get a copy of the book, all the resources that you have? 29:06.640 --> 29:10.562 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so she gave it a go on the social media platforms. 29:10.622 --> 29:11.723 [SPEAKER_00]: I do have a website. 29:11.803 --> 29:15.225 [SPEAKER_00]: She gave it a go.com and my book is on Amazon. 29:15.505 --> 29:17.847 [SPEAKER_00]: It's now on audio version as well. 29:17.947 --> 29:24.010 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you prefer to listen, rather than read, I hear you sister, so feel free to go that direction. 29:25.191 --> 29:27.792 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's also on our helpbrass.com. 29:27.872 --> 29:31.615 [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, yeah, I'll put all those links and show notes to you, so people can find it. 29:33.044 --> 29:34.905 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, thank you so much again for joining. 29:34.925 --> 29:37.826 [SPEAKER_01]: I love to this conversation and it's very helpful and practical. 29:37.866 --> 29:39.946 [SPEAKER_01]: So thank you. 29:43.528 --> 29:46.929 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for joining us for today's conversation with Brent Blanks. 29:47.049 --> 29:53.131 [SPEAKER_01]: I hope that you're walking away and courage and reminded that God is present in every change and every stage of parenting. 29:53.691 --> 29:57.792 [SPEAKER_01]: If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to follow the Christian parenting podcast and leave a review. 29:57.892 --> 29:59.973 [SPEAKER_01]: It helps other parents find these conversations too. 30:00.735 --> 30:09.257 [SPEAKER_01]: may God bless you this week, and as you go into your week, may you know God's peace, may his truth, shape your thoughts, and may his love guide you in the way that you're pairing your children.