WEBVTT 00:00.948 --> 00:06.890 [SPEAKER_00]: Come on, come on, come to confidently and secure the five guests where we're absolutely sure. 00:06.950 --> 00:12.172 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't know everything, coffee, dance, hmm. 00:13.072 --> 00:22.535 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll never forget the time that Zach spoiled it to y'all that the real reason I do certain episodes every week is it's because what I'm going through. 00:22.555 --> 00:26.036 [SPEAKER_00]: And at first I was like, nah, that's just sometimes that gives me idea. 00:26.056 --> 00:27.837 [SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, it is so true. 00:28.222 --> 00:32.797 [SPEAKER_00]: It is so true, and this week your girl has been struggling. 00:33.877 --> 00:58.933 [SPEAKER_00]: if you noticed last week okay anytime I've ever missed a podcast episode it's been planned it's been like a holiday or like I knew I had a work thing coming up or whatever it's always been planned last week was the first episode in six years since I've started this bang that I didn't put up an episode because things just felt like they were crashing down 01:01.575 --> 01:23.277 [SPEAKER_00]: This episode is going to be talking about dopamine and happiness and what we can do to monitor it to take a pause when the world feels like we're crashing out and how we can reinstate healthy habits, how we can come down from those crazy chaotic highs that your girl has been going through. 01:24.778 --> 01:32.183 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll admit, I will tell you guys, I will be honest with the confidants because there's like a very special group here, right? 01:32.223 --> 01:39.047 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't talk about everything that I talk about on the podcast that like I tell you guys everything. 01:39.667 --> 01:44.930 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I'm social media and I'm TikTok and Instagram, like I'm not even saying everything that's going on in my life. 01:45.350 --> 01:46.871 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I know this is a safe space. 01:47.271 --> 01:50.933 [SPEAKER_00]: This is an audience I have like come to know and love very deeply. 01:51.314 --> 01:53.575 [SPEAKER_00]: So I have no problem telling you all the truth. 01:55.327 --> 01:59.251 [SPEAKER_00]: I decided to join a 12th step program. 01:59.791 --> 02:06.337 [SPEAKER_00]: And don't worry, that doesn't mean I have started drinking again, because I didn't, but 02:07.723 --> 02:13.768 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know if I'm going to, like, I don't know how to even talk about the 12th step program for those of you who don't know. 02:13.928 --> 02:17.811 [SPEAKER_00]: It's all of the like insert thing anonymous group. 02:17.831 --> 02:20.113 [SPEAKER_00]: So like the most popular one is alcoholics anonymous. 02:20.773 --> 02:28.920 [SPEAKER_00]: They have so many different kinds of a blank, or blank, a group that I was actually shocked to see how many existed. 02:29.780 --> 02:34.544 [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know if I'm going to say which one I'm in, not because I don't 02:34.924 --> 02:55.457 [SPEAKER_00]: want to tell you guys everything, but because it's so new to me still and I am still figuring it all out and like coming to terms with this addictive side of me that I am getting the help I need and like oh I didn't even acknowledge I'm in Toronto right now. 02:57.110 --> 03:00.792 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm an hotel room in Toronto, Canada, shout out to Canada. 03:00.812 --> 03:02.072 [SPEAKER_00]: I know y'all are big listeners. 03:03.393 --> 03:05.514 [SPEAKER_00]: I am shooting our documentary. 03:05.554 --> 03:11.536 [SPEAKER_00]: We are finishing the Marley List documentary that all started here on this podcast, the years and years and years ago. 03:11.556 --> 03:13.637 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm with my bestie canter. 03:13.677 --> 03:15.238 [SPEAKER_00]: You guys remember him for the Buzzfeed days. 03:15.258 --> 03:16.899 [SPEAKER_00]: He's also been on the pod a couple times. 03:17.799 --> 03:19.540 [SPEAKER_00]: He's in his room across the hallway. 03:19.620 --> 03:22.301 [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, it's like 8.30 at night. 03:22.481 --> 03:24.042 [SPEAKER_00]: We start shooting early this morning. 03:26.903 --> 03:28.965 [SPEAKER_00]: to get one of these big projects done. 03:29.405 --> 03:40.854 [SPEAKER_00]: And isn't that just life when all of the stress and like life around you is feeling like it's falling apart when you have a huge giant project coming up. 03:40.914 --> 03:41.855 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I sort of gotcha. 03:41.915 --> 03:42.736 [SPEAKER_00]: It's Murphy's Law. 03:43.336 --> 03:44.857 [SPEAKER_00]: If something can go wrong yet well. 03:45.017 --> 03:51.583 [SPEAKER_00]: And so prepping for this trip, I just was going through so much in my personal life. 03:52.303 --> 03:57.507 [SPEAKER_00]: that being here feels like a genuine break, like it feels like a genuine relief and release. 03:57.888 --> 04:02.412 [SPEAKER_00]: And though I should be incredibly stressed out because it's a very high stakes project. 04:02.672 --> 04:04.453 [SPEAKER_00]: It's we got financing. 04:04.513 --> 04:07.976 [SPEAKER_00]: We got like we have to sell this in distributor. 04:08.677 --> 04:09.658 [SPEAKER_00]: I am not stress. 04:10.038 --> 04:11.439 [SPEAKER_00]: I am in a good place. 04:11.879 --> 04:14.502 [SPEAKER_00]: And I've only been doing my 12 step programs for 04:16.129 --> 04:33.637 [SPEAKER_00]: three and a half weeks now and last week I felt like was the culmination of like this come down crash of just realizing I really truly felt the weight of the, um, what's the word we always use, um, powerlessness. 04:33.857 --> 04:34.938 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel very powerless. 04:35.938 --> 04:52.932 [SPEAKER_00]: So, going through that, but before I dive too much into that, which I'm sure will be a zone episode, let's do a little bit of a housekeeping, big bon, he's didn't know, our don't talk to me until I've had my Lexpress list. 04:52.952 --> 04:56.855 [SPEAKER_00]: I was coffee shirts with Freddy Tyler Paul, are still available. 04:57.975 --> 05:00.576 [SPEAKER_00]: You can get a cute little sweatshirt now that the winter season is coming out. 05:00.816 --> 05:05.218 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it would make an adorable gift for someone in your life on some SSRIs. 05:06.078 --> 05:07.899 [SPEAKER_00]: So definitely check those out. 05:09.020 --> 05:09.580 [SPEAKER_00]: What else? 05:10.800 --> 05:11.881 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like that's the main one. 05:12.842 --> 05:16.804 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'll let you guys know when the book release date is because we're getting close to figuring that out. 05:16.944 --> 05:20.645 [SPEAKER_00]: I've decided on a title and a cover. 05:21.145 --> 05:26.727 [SPEAKER_00]: We got the title nailed down a couple of weeks ago, and then I was like stuck in cover land. 05:26.867 --> 05:30.369 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll definitely do a video and show you guys on the podcast once it's out. 05:30.409 --> 05:34.991 [SPEAKER_00]: Like all the process behind the scenes of developing and like stylizing a book. 05:35.371 --> 05:40.513 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that would be really cool and fun, but I am so excited about the cover image. 05:41.873 --> 05:46.217 [SPEAKER_00]: I almost didn't choose this one because I was like, is it too crazy? 05:46.257 --> 05:47.158 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it too weird? 05:47.238 --> 05:48.199 [SPEAKER_00]: Is it too bold? 05:48.259 --> 05:49.960 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, does it stand out too much? 05:50.020 --> 05:52.202 [SPEAKER_00]: But I actually think it's perfect. 05:52.362 --> 05:55.064 [SPEAKER_00]: It's unlike my first book cover at all. 05:56.275 --> 05:57.896 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think it is awesome. 05:58.056 --> 05:58.756 [SPEAKER_00]: And I love both. 05:59.276 --> 06:00.737 [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, that's our housekeeping. 06:00.837 --> 06:01.077 [SPEAKER_00]: OK. 06:02.157 --> 06:03.358 [SPEAKER_00]: So picture this. 06:03.518 --> 06:08.300 [SPEAKER_00]: OK, now we're going into the episode, the dopamine, the brain stuff. 06:09.921 --> 06:10.761 [SPEAKER_00]: It's 2 a.m. 06:11.802 --> 06:12.402 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in bed. 06:13.162 --> 06:16.064 [SPEAKER_00]: My phone is like six inches away from my face as it always is. 06:16.264 --> 06:17.545 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm scrolling the TikTok. 06:18.446 --> 06:20.827 [SPEAKER_00]: I've watched a bunch of dog videos. 06:20.927 --> 06:29.133 [SPEAKER_00]: I've watched a bunch of like IVF pregnancy announcements, soldier coming home, skincare hacks that I'm saving that'll never actually use. 06:30.014 --> 06:32.856 [SPEAKER_00]: And now I've ended up in just like a weird place on the algorithm. 06:33.736 --> 06:34.377 [SPEAKER_00]: Adorable, right? 06:34.617 --> 06:38.560 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I am suddenly like, why the hell am I still awake? 06:43.532 --> 06:46.054 [SPEAKER_00]: That's because it don't believe me that's right tonight. 06:46.074 --> 06:56.241 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to be talking about all about how this little chemical can rule our lives and I'm not just talking about being happy. 06:56.281 --> 07:03.166 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about it rules everything from the way we feel love the way we feel sex the way we feel drugs the way we feel art. 07:04.598 --> 07:13.511 [SPEAKER_00]: While you'll eat while you'll eat an entire sleeve of Oreos and one sitting, even though you just wore, you were eating sugar anymore, hi at me. 07:13.571 --> 07:14.252 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm the problem. 07:15.013 --> 07:19.859 [SPEAKER_00]: So this is your crash, curse, and dopamine, no fun and dead dead. 07:20.947 --> 07:26.349 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, when I think about what dopamine does, I think about it in such extremes, right? 07:26.409 --> 07:33.992 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think of it as making me feel brilliant, but I also think of it as making me feel insane and like the most depressive ever felt. 07:35.072 --> 07:43.875 [SPEAKER_00]: And I am here to teach us how to stop letting it drag us around like a horny little demon on a leash. 07:44.781 --> 07:47.122 [SPEAKER_00]: So what is dopamine actually? 07:48.122 --> 07:51.424 [SPEAKER_00]: So first things first, dopamine can get a bad rap. 07:51.464 --> 07:55.165 [SPEAKER_00]: People are like, oh, it's the addiction chemical. 07:55.926 --> 08:05.650 [SPEAKER_00]: And yes, it is the thing that, you know, coconut, enough, and TikTok, and your toxic situation ship, 08:06.806 --> 08:16.152 [SPEAKER_00]: will all light up in the brain with these things, but dopamine isn't happiness, and that blew my mind. 08:16.412 --> 08:23.997 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm currently reading the book The Molecular of More, and dopamine isn't about 08:30.160 --> 08:32.444 [SPEAKER_00]: not satisfaction. 08:33.286 --> 08:36.952 [SPEAKER_00]: It's the feeling of wanting something. 08:37.994 --> 08:39.895 [SPEAKER_00]: rather than actually having it. 08:40.115 --> 08:59.762 [SPEAKER_00]: So all the butterflies you get in your tummy, having that conversation with your situation shift that is like you're waiting to get that little bit of flirt, that little bit of answer, that second day, like with drug use, it's the idea of it, the ritual of it, the anticipation of the high. 09:01.623 --> 09:04.024 [SPEAKER_00]: It's, think about it as this, right? 09:07.465 --> 09:10.487 [SPEAKER_00]: the cat trying to chase Feliz or pointer, right? 09:10.507 --> 09:19.634 [SPEAKER_00]: The joy isn't in catching the dot for the cat because the cat never catches the dot, but it's about the hunt. 09:20.595 --> 09:22.336 [SPEAKER_00]: It is about the chase. 09:22.597 --> 09:29.962 [SPEAKER_00]: Dopamine lies in the chase, which is why being a fuck boy probably feels so good. 09:31.103 --> 09:31.684 [SPEAKER_00]: Meanwhile, 09:32.710 --> 09:48.099 [SPEAKER_00]: In your brain there's this whole other group of brain chemicals that are more about like the present the here in the now it's not the anticipation it's not the one thing it's the serotonin the endorphins 09:48.559 --> 09:49.520 [SPEAKER_00]: the oxytocin. 09:49.560 --> 09:50.941 [SPEAKER_00]: Those are very present. 09:50.981 --> 09:53.663 [SPEAKER_00]: Those are very grounding, very demure chemicals. 09:55.005 --> 10:07.235 [SPEAKER_00]: Those are chemicals associated with like contentment and cuddles and sitting on the couch your dog and cuddles in your lap and you watch love island. 10:07.295 --> 10:09.797 [SPEAKER_00]: Like that is the here and now. 10:10.438 --> 10:14.121 [SPEAKER_00]: So dopamine, she's that little attention seeking bitch. 10:15.482 --> 10:16.082 [SPEAKER_00]: Sarah tone in. 10:17.189 --> 10:19.800 [SPEAKER_00]: And oxytocin and endorphins, she's a Kentucky. 10:21.583 --> 10:26.107 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, dopamine is always looking for like the what's next. 10:26.207 --> 10:30.991 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really like the entrepreneur chemical they call it because it's always about making moves. 10:31.051 --> 10:32.052 [SPEAKER_00]: It's never having enough. 10:32.132 --> 10:33.333 [SPEAKER_00]: It's I'm never satisfied. 10:33.373 --> 10:34.034 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I get more? 10:34.074 --> 10:34.774 [SPEAKER_00]: How do we get bigger? 10:34.854 --> 10:36.716 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I optimize? 10:36.756 --> 10:40.819 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, even wellness gurus have like a big dopamine addiction. 10:42.201 --> 10:46.584 [SPEAKER_00]: And also Dr. Huberman, which if you haven't heard of him, he's the Huberman podcast. 10:46.604 --> 10:47.425 [SPEAKER_00]: I think he's one of the top. 10:48.617 --> 10:51.698 [SPEAKER_00]: maybe the top wellness podcast, don't google it. 10:51.958 --> 10:59.602 [SPEAKER_00]: He says every behavior that feels rewarding every single one runs through dopamine. 11:00.022 --> 11:12.927 [SPEAKER_00]: So not just drugs, not just sex, but like finishing a workout, buying something on Amazon, or even hearing the little thing when your phone gets a 11:18.588 --> 11:21.353 [SPEAKER_00]: is your gas pedal, right? 11:22.748 --> 11:26.809 [SPEAKER_00]: We got to figure out, baby, what happens if you're flooring in a constant way? 11:27.229 --> 11:28.469 [SPEAKER_00]: Did you like the little car metaphor? 11:28.489 --> 11:29.229 [SPEAKER_00]: That was crazy. 11:30.529 --> 11:33.970 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so there's also a very popular book out there. 11:34.050 --> 11:36.671 [SPEAKER_00]: I always see it in airports called dopamine nation. 11:36.691 --> 11:40.851 [SPEAKER_00]: I think the cover is like, it looks very social media-esque. 11:42.332 --> 11:48.453 [SPEAKER_00]: She also explains in her book that basically modern life is not 11:49.835 --> 12:07.352 [SPEAKER_00]: what our brains were built to understand with the social media and the Netflix and the get it now, the Amazon, the one click, the door dashing, the porn hub, like all of this life we have created was not 12:09.494 --> 12:11.756 [SPEAKER_00]: built with our brains in mind. 12:12.297 --> 12:14.199 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's a catch, right? 12:14.239 --> 12:16.922 [SPEAKER_00]: Like your brain likes balance. 12:17.422 --> 12:21.086 [SPEAKER_00]: And there's this pleasure pain, seesaw. 12:21.187 --> 12:26.412 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you like pleasure, that side down too hard. 12:27.465 --> 12:30.667 [SPEAKER_00]: your brain eventually has to tip back into pain. 12:30.928 --> 12:34.730 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's that drop, that's that dip, that's that low. 12:35.291 --> 12:44.597 [SPEAKER_00]: That's the withdrawal, though, like, uh, feeling the anxiety, feeling after you realize your show that you've been watching eight episodes of is about to come to an end. 12:44.758 --> 12:50.502 [SPEAKER_00]: That's where you realize, like, after your situation, should we know they're about to be busy or if they just suddenly stop texting and you're just like, 12:51.475 --> 12:52.615 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, well, I guess that's over. 12:54.456 --> 12:57.177 [SPEAKER_00]: Also, it doesn't just go back to your baseline. 12:57.217 --> 13:04.719 [SPEAKER_00]: Like another thing he recommended was talking about and his podcast episode was that there is a baseline of dopamine that everyone has, right? 13:05.179 --> 13:11.981 [SPEAKER_00]: And when you are having sex for instance, he says that that like two X's, your dopamine response. 13:12.141 --> 13:15.822 [SPEAKER_00]: But when it comes back to when you're coming off that dopamine, 13:16.162 --> 13:26.567 [SPEAKER_00]: it doesn't go back to baseline, it just dips a little bit lower so that next time that high that you're chasing becomes more desirable, that's how addiction actually starts, right? 13:26.627 --> 13:42.533 [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, sexist 2x, cocaine is like 3x and emphetamines or methamphetamines is the highest addiction, which that like quadruple x is your dopamine and again remembering like the come down, 13:46.175 --> 13:51.539 [SPEAKER_00]: so that it's even harder and your body even craves that hit even higher again. 13:52.640 --> 14:02.968 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not just these books that we're reading, it's science that proves all of this, right? 14:03.109 --> 14:13.136 [SPEAKER_00]: Like they have shown that the same obsessive love lights that spark in your brain when you're feeling a 14:15.438 --> 14:19.081 [SPEAKER_00]: that is the same pathway that lights up with substance is. 14:19.181 --> 14:24.164 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not just, you know, it's science has studied this. 14:24.625 --> 14:27.326 [SPEAKER_00]: That's why they say love is a drug, right? 14:27.366 --> 14:30.409 [SPEAKER_00]: Like when you first fall in love, you're like, I can say up all night texting you. 14:30.449 --> 14:32.810 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like literally because your brain is on love chemicals. 14:34.952 --> 14:38.854 [SPEAKER_00]: And funny, funny thought, that's why like postnut clarity is such an actual 14:41.010 --> 14:45.014 [SPEAKER_00]: That's that dip I'm talking about, that's that like it comes back down, but it's even lower. 14:45.114 --> 14:49.880 [SPEAKER_00]: So you're just like very grounded and like, well, what just happened, you're you're very aware. 14:49.900 --> 14:55.005 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, but don't worry, there are fun side effects to do for me. 14:55.125 --> 14:58.048 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, it's not all just like doomskirling in addiction. 14:58.068 --> 15:01.152 [SPEAKER_00]: It is also why we create art. 15:01.672 --> 15:08.834 [SPEAKER_00]: and we start businesses or some of us write books in the book that I am reading the molecule more. 15:08.954 --> 15:21.896 [SPEAKER_00]: Leave remin explains that dopamine drives ambition, novelty seeking, and risk taking why in that's why some of the most creative people also take very big risk. 15:21.916 --> 15:24.437 [SPEAKER_00]: That's why businessmen take very big risks. 15:24.637 --> 15:27.637 [SPEAKER_00]: Like Jerry Jones, I'm watching the Cowboys documentary on Netflix 15:31.118 --> 15:36.241 [SPEAKER_00]: This guy liked going 15 million dollars in debt only to come out a hundred million dollars richer. 15:36.261 --> 15:39.362 [SPEAKER_00]: Like the stress of that on a normal person, I don't think we're built for that. 15:41.323 --> 15:56.371 [SPEAKER_00]: It's why some of the most creative people are also, though, plagued with things like addiction or why those businessmen are doing blow and needing drinks in the middle of the day to like get through the stock market trade. 15:57.292 --> 15:58.573 [SPEAKER_00]: They're just like high on novelty. 15:59.654 --> 16:02.119 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's the same with relationships like I said. 16:03.173 --> 16:06.376 [SPEAKER_00]: falling in love is basically chasing dopamine. 16:06.796 --> 16:09.718 [SPEAKER_00]: And staying in love, that is not dopamine anymore longer. 16:09.778 --> 16:11.640 [SPEAKER_00]: That is now the comfort chemical. 16:11.660 --> 16:12.781 [SPEAKER_00]: That is the serotonin. 16:12.801 --> 16:13.882 [SPEAKER_00]: That is the oxytocin. 16:15.183 --> 16:24.991 [SPEAKER_00]: So you can think about it like Tinder or dating apps being dopamine and Costco and wedding rings 16:31.290 --> 16:47.116 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's also why the honey moon face feels like a drug and that's why long-term love is so hard to sustain because your brain isn't getting those dopamine heads anymore and our society prioritizes love so deeply in dating so deeply that you'll feel like you're missing out on something. 16:48.636 --> 16:58.720 [SPEAKER_00]: When we come right back look at us we're going to talk about the dopamine deficit the dark side, but also how to reclaim. 16:59.576 --> 17:02.098 [SPEAKER_00]: and warm up that drug back for you. 17:02.439 --> 17:04.240 [SPEAKER_00]: We'll be right back. 17:06.342 --> 17:08.964 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, like I said, what goes up? 17:09.885 --> 17:10.886 [SPEAKER_00]: It must come down, babies. 17:11.306 --> 17:13.668 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and dopamine is not immune to that. 17:14.609 --> 17:15.930 [SPEAKER_00]: So let's talk about the downside, right? 17:16.691 --> 17:19.754 [SPEAKER_00]: I kind of hinted at this already, but tolerance. 17:20.254 --> 17:26.599 [SPEAKER_00]: That is when it starts to become a problem because the more you flood your dopamine, 17:27.937 --> 17:36.721 [SPEAKER_00]: the last year brain responds, okay, because you need more just to feel, okay, which is again, how addiction forms. 17:36.781 --> 17:41.723 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's why when we pick up our phone, we'll find ourselves picking it up for longer and longer periods of times. 17:41.803 --> 17:44.745 [SPEAKER_00]: And by the end of the day, when we're just exhausted, we want to completely zone out. 17:45.245 --> 17:47.986 [SPEAKER_00]: That dopamine hit is going to feel so good. 17:48.006 --> 17:50.587 [SPEAKER_00]: We're just going to live in that doom scroll. 17:52.835 --> 18:06.553 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's also why this thought and this understanding of dopamine is so important when understanding addiction to like addicts don't often use to get high they're doing it to feel normal and good. 18:07.772 --> 18:16.714 [SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, you could swap out drugs for anything, like Instagram or a relationship, and the mechanism is still the same. 18:19.194 --> 18:26.155 [SPEAKER_00]: Anna Lemki talks about patients who detox from for 30 days from their thing, right? 18:26.175 --> 18:27.976 [SPEAKER_00]: Whether it was like porn or video games or weed. 18:28.776 --> 18:33.577 [SPEAKER_00]: And suddenly, they found that the anxiety and depression 18:35.417 --> 18:40.879 [SPEAKER_00]: because when you stop hammering the nail, well, I'm going to take this metaphor. 18:41.160 --> 18:48.203 [SPEAKER_00]: When you stop hammering the dough for me, when you stop hammering that nail, the board just stays where it's supposed to be. 18:49.498 --> 18:50.178 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go with that. 18:50.818 --> 18:52.099 [SPEAKER_00]: Basically, your brain can reset. 18:52.599 --> 19:08.803 [SPEAKER_00]: So that is a really important bit of information to know is that even if you are plagued with things like addiction or people in your family are, or if you feel like you are codependent or addicted to sex and love, like these are all things that can be reset. 19:08.843 --> 19:17.204 [SPEAKER_00]: Your brain can learn how to live without them, but you just have to understand how to get through the withdrawal and the dopamine deficit. 19:19.885 --> 19:37.215 [SPEAKER_00]: And this part also got a little bit personal for me, right, because I've lived with panic disorder for so long and I realized like panic is basically your brains reward and like pain center C sign and like misfiring it's like 19:38.141 --> 19:50.725 [SPEAKER_00]: Here's the thing I'm sending you, even though you don't need it, but you are going to attach to it, you're going to feel it, and you're going to suffer through it because my brain thinks I need it. 19:51.266 --> 19:54.567 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just felt that so strongly when I was thinking about 19:55.747 --> 20:17.465 [SPEAKER_00]: How you can still reset like the longer I've gone without having a panic attack the less I am afraid of it and even if it like groups that like today I had to fly right and that you see my biggest trigger even if I felt it creeping up in the little us bit I knew I didn't have to take the bait from my brain like even if I felt the chemical flood I was able to override and be like I know what this is so it's the same thing with dopamine it's like 20:17.865 --> 20:21.328 [SPEAKER_00]: you have to catch it before your body is feeling it. 20:21.468 --> 20:24.550 [SPEAKER_00]: Like you can you can call it out and be like, I see it. 20:24.570 --> 20:31.695 [SPEAKER_00]: I, I noticing myself dipping into this little dope of me and baggy and I don't need to. 20:32.155 --> 20:34.457 [SPEAKER_00]: And you'll see it and you'll feel it because it'll feel really good. 20:34.937 --> 20:37.419 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll start to pick up your phone and start scrolling and then be like, oh. 20:38.885 --> 20:40.627 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel very happy right now. 20:40.787 --> 20:42.408 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're like, ah, I'm going to catch it. 20:42.508 --> 20:45.171 [SPEAKER_00]: And you don't have to give in to your brain feeling that feeling. 20:47.233 --> 20:48.454 [SPEAKER_00]: So how do we reclaim it, right? 20:49.235 --> 20:58.063 [SPEAKER_00]: We know that dopamine can wreck us, but it is also fuel for ambition and joy, which is something all of us need to survive and thrive in this society. 20:59.004 --> 20:59.684 [SPEAKER_00]: So how do we give it, 21:00.663 --> 21:01.944 [SPEAKER_00]: more support. 21:02.705 --> 21:05.627 [SPEAKER_00]: And Huberman gives some great tips on his podcast. 21:06.708 --> 21:11.151 [SPEAKER_00]: He talks about not spiking dopamine over and over without breaks. 21:11.912 --> 21:18.757 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't be mixing basically your addictions all in one, right? 21:18.777 --> 21:22.920 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're going to go out of drinking, don't also do Tinder and 21:24.581 --> 21:38.164 [SPEAKER_00]: Scroll TikTok when you get home or take a bump out with friends like take breaks on you nailing that freaking dopamine hammer right and don't don't stack them don't have it stack your dopamine. 21:39.245 --> 21:43.266 [SPEAKER_00]: Also intermittent rewards are more powerful than predictable ones. 21:43.886 --> 21:44.626 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to say that again. 21:45.546 --> 21:46.567 [SPEAKER_00]: Intermittent rewards. 21:47.108 --> 21:53.334 [SPEAKER_00]: So rewards that are happening not as frequently are more powerful than predictable ones. 21:53.354 --> 21:58.779 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's why if you think about it slot machines, that's why they're the most addictive. 21:58.819 --> 22:01.041 [SPEAKER_00]: They are giving you the intermittent reward. 22:03.904 --> 22:12.410 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's why, you know, things can also feel good when you when you master that intermittent reward system in yourself. 22:12.991 --> 22:24.459 [SPEAKER_00]: It can feel just as good as the hit felt the first time you're doing it in an addictive way because your body is not learning how to access it whenever it wants. 22:24.700 --> 22:25.820 [SPEAKER_00]: It's becoming intermittent. 22:27.521 --> 22:32.463 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, that's also why like a surprise compliment feels really good because you're like, oh, like, what? 22:32.743 --> 22:33.183 [SPEAKER_00]: Me? 22:33.503 --> 22:33.963 [SPEAKER_00]: Who? 22:34.303 --> 22:34.903 [SPEAKER_00]: Stop. 22:35.003 --> 22:36.384 [SPEAKER_00]: It's almost like, please don't compliment me. 22:36.424 --> 22:36.984 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't take it. 22:38.864 --> 22:45.306 [SPEAKER_00]: Natural dopamine stabilizers are movement. 22:45.846 --> 22:48.887 [SPEAKER_00]: I love the phrase depression hates a moving target. 22:49.247 --> 22:49.327 [SPEAKER_00]: She 22:54.957 --> 22:56.278 [SPEAKER_00]: got to get that vitamin D baby. 22:57.499 --> 22:58.740 [SPEAKER_00]: Learning a new skill. 22:58.760 --> 22:59.500 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 22:59.520 --> 23:00.401 [SPEAKER_00]: What's getting to crafting? 23:00.481 --> 23:01.462 [SPEAKER_00]: What's getting into hobbies? 23:01.722 --> 23:02.762 [SPEAKER_00]: What's getting to something healthy? 23:03.303 --> 23:07.466 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think you should literally go outside touch grass and learn to knit or whatever. 23:08.914 --> 23:31.371 [SPEAKER_00]: Also, you can do a dopamine fast just like in the book the 30 days suggested like try taking a break for 30 days and like your brain reset that is often also a pretty good indicator of an addiction is if you can't make it pass 30 days on doing something that you're telling yourself and you're willing to happen then it's like okay time to time to maybe take this a little bit more serious 23:32.932 --> 23:36.034 [SPEAKER_00]: And for me, that would be a many things, right? 23:36.054 --> 23:37.715 [SPEAKER_00]: Like my job is in social media. 23:38.095 --> 23:45.499 [SPEAKER_00]: I am in a relationship, like I have a lot of vices, even though I'm not a drinker anymore. 23:45.939 --> 23:50.462 [SPEAKER_00]: There are certainly things that I had to watch out for and be like, ooh, okay, I can see, I can start to see when I was lipping. 23:51.883 --> 23:59.007 [SPEAKER_00]: So to wrap all of this episode up, dopamine is not evil. 24:00.282 --> 24:02.804 [SPEAKER_00]: But it's not necessarily the best either, right? 24:03.625 --> 24:07.728 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, we do want those dopamine hits, but we want them intermittently. 24:07.748 --> 24:24.681 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's the reason why you've gone successful to where you are today, if you think about it, like it's the reason why you probably graduated college or like art in the job you're in or in the relationship you're in and also not forget 24:25.550 --> 24:26.692 [SPEAKER_00]: probably the reason why you jumped. 24:26.772 --> 24:28.294 [SPEAKER_00]: I sigged your accent three in the morning. 24:30.737 --> 24:40.109 [SPEAKER_00]: It can fuel ambition and creativity and love like we said, but it can also be spiraled into not so great habits if we're not careful. 24:40.129 --> 24:41.250 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, and 24:43.390 --> 24:56.453 [SPEAKER_00]: I think all of us could try and do a fun little challenge together, which is to try and go 24 hours without your number one dopamine hit. 24:57.193 --> 24:58.954 [SPEAKER_00]: So take inventory of your day. 24:59.014 --> 25:00.554 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you're thinking about it already. 25:00.574 --> 25:01.515 [SPEAKER_00]: I know I am. 25:01.535 --> 25:06.776 [SPEAKER_00]: I can already imagine the thing that I'm like, oh, well, if I got rid of this, it would be kind of hard to do for 24 hours. 25:07.906 --> 25:09.346 [SPEAKER_00]: And let's try it, right? 25:09.926 --> 25:11.547 [SPEAKER_00]: Like for me, it's probably sugar. 25:11.947 --> 25:14.587 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I go no sugar for 24 hours? 25:15.248 --> 25:21.669 [SPEAKER_00]: I would literally, like I think the last time I did that was when I was at a yoga retreat in the middle of Palo. 25:22.209 --> 25:24.129 [SPEAKER_00]: Palo, what have I art done, Mexico? 25:24.269 --> 25:25.650 [SPEAKER_00]: And we had all of our meals planned for us. 25:25.670 --> 25:26.990 [SPEAKER_00]: And even then we had a lot of fruit. 25:27.090 --> 25:31.951 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like scarfing down that fruit sugar because I was just so like, I have to put so long, it's been so many days. 25:33.472 --> 25:38.635 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, and see what your thing is like what pops up for you and DM me or results. 25:38.655 --> 25:42.238 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to know at confidently pod on the IG if you're not already following. 25:43.419 --> 25:49.022 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, and remember, dopamine's job isn't to make you happy. 25:49.043 --> 25:55.187 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember if it's like four, I do whoever the fuck decided to say that that's what they thought 25:56.239 --> 25:58.740 [SPEAKER_00]: like the goal was was to always be happy. 25:58.860 --> 26:01.901 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just not, it's literally physically not sustainable. 26:01.981 --> 26:06.703 [SPEAKER_00]: You will burn out your dopamine receptors will not fucking fire the way they're supposed to. 26:06.743 --> 26:08.003 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll have to go into a reset. 26:08.643 --> 26:17.606 [SPEAKER_00]: So understanding that you're not only not meant to be happy, but you shouldn't be happy all the time is very relieving and very comforting. 26:19.847 --> 26:24.889 [SPEAKER_00]: And remembering from all the way back in the beginning of this episode, that dopamine is not even 26:25.472 --> 26:26.853 [SPEAKER_00]: meant to make you happy. 26:26.873 --> 26:29.894 [SPEAKER_00]: It is meant to make you chase. 26:30.635 --> 26:34.536 [SPEAKER_00]: So find a way to make the dopamine work for you. 26:34.676 --> 26:47.362 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember them talking about, I can't remember who's the book of the podcast, but they were talking about with how do we like kind of trick ourselves back into a healthy dopamine state and they did 26:51.285 --> 27:01.029 [SPEAKER_00]: They took kids who told whatever the scientists, the parents, whatever, that they loved arts and crafts or drawing or painting like that's what they love doing. 27:01.049 --> 27:01.849 [SPEAKER_00]: They love coloring. 27:01.909 --> 27:04.130 [SPEAKER_00]: If they could pick any activity, that was the thing they chose, right? 27:04.830 --> 27:13.153 [SPEAKER_00]: So they started having these kids come in and they would have them do that activity, but then they started giving them a reward at the end of the activity. 27:13.753 --> 27:14.934 [SPEAKER_00]: And what they saw 27:15.579 --> 27:27.385 [SPEAKER_00]: was that over time, I'm sure you can imagine where this is going, the kids stopped enjoying the task and were anticipating the reward at the end. 27:27.545 --> 27:29.406 [SPEAKER_00]: Which in one way, you're kind of like, that's kind of fucked up. 27:29.426 --> 27:31.146 [SPEAKER_00]: They might've taken these hobbies away from these children. 27:31.407 --> 27:34.508 [SPEAKER_00]: But in the name of science, thank you for your service, good children. 27:35.649 --> 27:40.191 [SPEAKER_00]: So the kids were then coming in to do the experiment, to do the drawing, to do the painting, because they were 27:40.651 --> 27:45.895 [SPEAKER_00]: more antsy for the freaking reward they weren't doing it because they loved the thing that they were doing. 27:46.375 --> 28:01.705 [SPEAKER_00]: So an easy hack and easy way to trick your brain into remembering that like it's not all about the payoff, it's not about the check at the end of the day, it's not about the amount of likes, it's not about the moment that you can finally go home and crash on your couch and watch love island. 28:02.546 --> 28:05.908 [SPEAKER_00]: Remind yourself especially with things that you are trying to 28:07.846 --> 28:17.515 [SPEAKER_00]: that you're finding are a lot harder to do now, the way that maybe they weren't as hard to do before, is to tell yourself that you're doing the thing you want to do no matter the outcome. 28:18.075 --> 28:23.901 [SPEAKER_00]: So to enjoy the process, you can literally say out loud, like I am so enjoying the process of this. 28:23.921 --> 28:27.083 [SPEAKER_00]: Like for me, it's definitely like writing and copy editing right now. 28:27.144 --> 28:30.627 [SPEAKER_00]: So being just like, I'm doing this because I love 28:31.247 --> 28:31.588 [SPEAKER_00]: books. 28:31.908 --> 28:33.269 [SPEAKER_00]: I love reading. 28:33.469 --> 28:37.213 [SPEAKER_00]: I love being a book that is in someone's library. 28:37.373 --> 28:43.058 [SPEAKER_00]: I love connecting with people over the things that my book is about. 28:43.218 --> 28:55.729 [SPEAKER_00]: I love being able to help people like genuinely going to the why and tricking your brain and saying like this is what I'm doing it for, not at the end of the day for XYZ reasons. 28:56.750 --> 28:59.031 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, to again, why not? 29:00.112 --> 29:04.434 [SPEAKER_00]: Why not try this as a little habit, a little challenge for all the confidants? 29:05.314 --> 29:12.078 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, remember that also, it's about the chase, like that's what it's supposed to be. 29:13.615 --> 29:16.196 [SPEAKER_00]: giving you momentum for. 29:16.756 --> 29:21.859 [SPEAKER_00]: So we should try to be a little bit choosier about what we're chasing. 29:22.599 --> 29:28.381 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking to you, Gerely pops that are kind of going for assessment that just keep you coming back for more and more. 29:28.421 --> 29:30.482 [SPEAKER_00]: They're giving you, ooh, they're giving you that little dopamine hit. 29:30.502 --> 29:34.084 [SPEAKER_00]: They're giving you that little, ooh, a little surprise, that little intermittent reward. 29:34.624 --> 29:37.525 [SPEAKER_00]: Try and focus on getting your dopamine from healthier places. 29:38.046 --> 29:38.186 [SPEAKER_00]: And 29:39.246 --> 29:48.609 [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of people do like the cold plunge for dopamine release because it's sustained and it's a healthy release and it's safe. 29:49.249 --> 29:58.932 [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm also learning a lot right now about how cold plunge can affect women and hormones in perimenoplasal women a lot differently than in a can affect men. 29:58.992 --> 29:59.572 [SPEAKER_00]: So stay tuned. 29:59.592 --> 30:01.653 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure I'll give an updated podcast on cold plunging. 30:02.613 --> 30:25.114 [SPEAKER_00]: Um, but for now, my dear coffee dogs, I gotta go the book just because I gotta get up early tomorrow to keep filming our movie and just from the bottom of my heart, thank you for letting me miss last week, thank you for showing back up this week, thank you for listening, thank you for supporting by buying the merch and rating as podcasts and until next week, coffee nuns, I'll see you later. 30:25.855 --> 30:26.295 [SPEAKER_00]: Bye!