[SPEAKER_00]: If you're listening to the intentional parents podcast, brought to you by Intentional.
[SPEAKER_00]: Intentional is all about spiritual formation in the family.
[SPEAKER_00]: We desire to bring biblical hope and practical hope.
[SPEAKER_00]: Enjoy this week's conversation.
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the intentional parents podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are just reminiscing that fall is right around the corner.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here today with Elizabeth and Diane.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have got some fun stuff that we're going to talk about today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Generational sin, trauma, epigenetics.
[SPEAKER_00]: uh, sin and blessing.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's hope.
[SPEAKER_00]: What is a proper or rather healing apology?
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to get into all of that and how our stories shape our parenting, our marriages or our interactions with life.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all there.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have a deep dive.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to go into today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Really looking forward to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I just got back from Richmond, Virginia.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was with our good friend Justin early.
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, doing fatherhood season two.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you are unaware, we've launched intentional fatherhood, you can go listen to that on any of the podcast platforms that you prefer.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's coming out season two's coming out soon, which we're excited about.
[SPEAKER_00]: And Fatherhood just leads me to say right before we get into the content today, motherhood.
[SPEAKER_00]: The intentional motherhood retreat are third one, are third annual one, and we have, I mean, we're just so excited, but ladies, this is going to be a lot on you both, our whole team for sure, but definitely a lot on you, how are you feeling about it, excited, tell your sisters to come, all that stuff?
[SPEAKER_01]: So excited, you need to come.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot that we need to do between now and when it actually happens.
[SPEAKER_01]: All the things.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were actually just talking in the driveway of your house.
[SPEAKER_01]: While my kids were in the back of our van yelling at me because I was talking too long and we needed to go home.
[SPEAKER_01]: We do have a chance to drive them crazy that way.
[SPEAKER_01]: But just talking about all the things we're reading and all the connections that God is making, which I just love, I feel like we experience each time of the way the spirit just we've together, what we've been reading, what we've been learning individually and we've together these beautiful themes that we don't set out to create and yet just like God always creates some sort of
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we're really excited.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have some surprises.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have some surprises.
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to be there for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be really fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's going to be a really rich time.
[SPEAKER_02]: As once again, we focus not on how to be a better mom or do these 10 things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll raise superstars.
[SPEAKER_02]: But really spiritual formation.
[SPEAKER_02]: in and through motherhood and the realities of their life.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because as we as moms who have such an incredible influence are children, as God changes us and they watch the gospel and action that mom can change that can change, that just makes him come alive to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that's that's our heart with everything that we do here and in last just before we jump into the episode I just recently we released Repair devotional sewing hidden seed 31 days of prayer for your children.
[SPEAKER_00]: These are all sorts of different topics that we have for each day
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a verse, it's a quote and it's a written out prayer for you to basically take anywhere from two to five minutes each day to just sit down and to pray for your kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is just we designed this in such a way that you would want to hopefully leave it out because visual cues are so helpful.
[SPEAKER_00]: What we're doing right now is just raising awareness that intentional is an unprofit.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so anybody that gives $25 a month or more, we just want to send this to you as a thank you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And people have been asking, are we gonna, you know, have this for sale?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that time is coming, but we wanted to just let everybody know that your partnership means so much to us.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so every single amount helps, intentional's growing rapidly, and we're just catching up with this foundation of financial help through our wonderful legacy builder.
[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you to everyone that's done that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you haven't had a chance, please do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a gift.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you were gonna say something before we jump in.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're really a prayer guide kind of showing us how to pray into specific, really relevant topics, but we're using it for our grandkids.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we're reading it out loud together, we're reading the prayer out loud together, and then we're using it as a launch.
[SPEAKER_02]: Pat to pray for specifics.
[SPEAKER_02]: So our book is now has names of grandkids on particular pages that it just seems like this just wanted to really pray That's a cool way.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so it's not just for young parents not knowing how to pray for their kids.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's been really a rich resource for felonite so that we're praying more specifically.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, not just what they say are grandkids or kids say they need prayer for but just a guide like this is
[SPEAKER_02]: This is really praying and spiritual formation into our grandkids lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for saying that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a really great way to use it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, plenty of adult parents with adult kids have said the same like this, you know, I, I used it to pray for my kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I said, use it to pray for yourself like they're universal in this sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: We all need these topics covered of prayer in our life.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Generational sin and trauma last week if you missed this we released an episode that actually was an episode of the intentional fatherhood podcast where just an early night sat down and talked about knowing your story and the importance of how knowing your story shapes your fatherhood.
[SPEAKER_00]: And obviously, we were talking in the context of father specifically, but to so many of the moms listening, if you're alive, you are parenting needs you to know your story.
[SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, there's a lot of nuance into that.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of things we have to understand and we have to understand where we come from.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so in that episode, if you missed it, feel free to go back and listen.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't want to, this will stand alone on its own, but I think that's just helpful for even more context of what does it mean to know your story and I go into really pretty extensive deep dive of how that impacted me and what that looked like for me personally.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we wanted to kind of continue the conversation this week on this topic, because it really actually shapes so many of us impact so many of us and we're not always aware.
[SPEAKER_00]: We kind of show up to adults and times and go, why am I acting this way?
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, this is a lot of my experience, so.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or something that I think we know we want to do something different.
[SPEAKER_01]: But we just have no idea where to start or how and so we feel this immense pressure and need sometimes just not steps, but just some practical things we can latch on to to help the journey because it's a lifelong journey of healing and how we get there and how we can slowly do a different with our own family.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, well said.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we want to talk about like this is biblical.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think it's really important to think about the idea of general generational sin and also generational blessing.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's very biblical and it starts really in a there's a couple different places, but numbers 14, if you haven't heard this before, this is a very foundational verse numbers 14, 18, the Lord is slow to anger.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: and abounding in love and forgiving sin in rebellion.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's the first like that's a really important detail.
[SPEAKER_00]: Slow to anger, abounding in love.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's forgiving of rebellion.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's huge.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yet, and this is the part that we need to talk about yet, he does not leave the guilty unpunished.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot there.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not going to unpack fully.
[SPEAKER_00]: He punishes the children for the sin of the
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I know upon hearing this anybody listening is like maybe you've heard this verse and you've been like overwhelmed so you just ignore it because it's hard to understand.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe this is the first time hearing that you're like what the Bible says this what does that mean God is so harsh what's going on.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm thinking of though, but how many times have we heard it because we hear like cherry picked quotes of verses how many times have we heard the first part of that.
[SPEAKER_01]: that the Lord is gracious.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's compassionate.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's slow to anger.
[SPEAKER_01]: Founding in love and mercy, but we don't understand what comes after that or the context of what is also said.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I couldn't agree more.
[SPEAKER_00]: And with theologically, there's a lot going on there that today we're not trying to unpack
[SPEAKER_00]: Why does God say that?
[SPEAKER_00]: And where does it come from in the origin of it?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because really that's not our goal today, our goal is to understand that even though we don't fully maybe comprehend or even grasp the gravity, I think the Bible is giving us an insight to a reality that science is now discovering.
[SPEAKER_00]: What I love about all the science happening now and all the latest discoveries is it's just confirming the Bible over and over and over again.
[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the things that this touches on is this idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a newer science, but I would say it's been studied for a while, but newer in the sense of our understanding.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not hundreds and hundreds of years old.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a newer idea, but it really holds up, at least with this scripture of this idea of epigenetics.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're sitting around going, what in the world is epigenetics?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you talking about it?
[SPEAKER_00]: How does this interact?
[SPEAKER_00]: Epigenetics is essentially the science of how your life choices and your environment shape the expressions of your genes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like at a cellular level, your life can impact you and it can actually genetically form you and we pass on genetics.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's this idea and we did a whole episode on this, by the way, with Sally Lemos, we'll refer to that in the show notes.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can check it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's wonderful.
[SPEAKER_00]: She went into a lot of details about this, but that's just this idea that like generational sin can impact you at a cellular level and carry with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And interestingly enough, with numbers 14, that's why we're highlighting this, isn't it interesting like that there is this pain that can be passed down to the third to the fourth
[SPEAKER_00]: And so there's patterns of sin, there's patterns of trauma that many of us have experienced, but there's also patterns of blessing.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have to highlight like both are possible and blessing and sin can impact for generations.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have to remember that God is like not only into redeeming the pain, but also perpetuating the blessing.
[SPEAKER_00]: So both are true and what our hope is today is to talk about like, hey, how do we deal with our generational sin and how that's impacted us?
[SPEAKER_00]: But then also on the flip side, how do we become those people that instead of passing pain for generations, we pass blessing and help in a deep way?
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's really where we want to go.
[SPEAKER_01]: One more scripture as we jump into that that I think is just really hopeful that just came to mind is, and I think I misunderstood it growing up for so long, but the scripture, I think I'm terrible with my scripture references.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a walking Bible and cyclopedia like dad, but I think it's a romance.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's that idea that he works all things together for the good of those who left him in or call the according to his purpose.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like as followers of Jesus, he works all of the things that were not good to have the opportunity to be good.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's the redemption that we get to see this side of heaven.
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't get the full redemption until we're with Jesus someday, but
[SPEAKER_01]: wherever you're at in your story, if you're processing the really hard parts that were not good, if you're picking up the fragmented pieces of the sins passed down from the generation before you that you are now that affected you and you're watching it affect your own kids and you're grieving about that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that is the hope and the power that we have in Jesus that He can work all of those things for good.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we do have agency in that.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have choice in that and what that looks like and how we
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think we all have to remember that even the darkest of stories that are still affecting you in the darkest of ways.
[SPEAKER_01]: God has the power to do something good with it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's beautifully said.
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, obviously I'm tempted in many ways to...
[SPEAKER_00]: So, okay, let's go through our stories.
[SPEAKER_00]: What are our, you know, generational impact?
[SPEAKER_00]: But we really did that on that last episode, and honestly, that could be our whole episode today, just talking about that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But just for reference, go back, listen to the level of where this kind of starts, because for many of us, what's going on currently, usually didn't start just even within our generation, or even our parents' generation.
[SPEAKER_00]: often times we can trace these things back for a long, long road.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I mean even you were just saying before we recorded any just share really quick about Sloan, our youngest one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember being meeting with Sally who's been on a bunch years ago.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think I was just asking her advice about just stuff we were seeing come up for our youngest.
[SPEAKER_01]: And she paused and she just said she explained epigenetics and trauma.
[SPEAKER_01]: and she said, you have to remember that Sloan was born into trauma.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, okay, I get that, but I can explain more.
[SPEAKER_01]: And she said, while you were pregnant with her, you were going through the most significant health crisis you'd ever gone through with Bertie.
[SPEAKER_01]: and there was so much unknown you were terrified.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was you were walking through trauma the whole time you carried her in your body and then she walked me through scientifically what we know what's been studied of how that affects a developing baby and then she said and then she was born right into
[SPEAKER_01]: all of it into the mix of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is a part of her story.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then we got to have this beautiful conversation of how what is our responsibility.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not something I did or didn't do to her that I can fix.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't fix it.
[SPEAKER_01]: God, but God knows that's a part of her story.
[SPEAKER_01]: She wasn't an accident.
[SPEAKER_01]: God knows every detail of that story and how our body's function and how all that works.
[SPEAKER_01]: But
[SPEAKER_01]: um as her parents and we get to start that at a really young age and then teach her how to do that as she grows and as she gets older, help her have an understanding of her nervous system and why certain parts of it get really easily activated um and that was just really helpful.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not always because we did or didn't do something as a parent.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes it's just life
[SPEAKER_02]: That's like the idea of stewarding our stories, but to steward our stories where we have to tell the whole story.
[SPEAKER_02]: And some of the healing that we want coming from generational trauma or or lies passed on to us because of trauma our parents endured so they overdid certain values out of fear of
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, but one of the really important parts of healing is that we have an integrated story, which means that we, we fully understand the negative and the hard and what was, what was awful.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: At the same time that, you know, the blessing and the curses at the same time that we can see, oh, there was also a lot of good and that's confusing.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that means that if you come from a really dysfunctional family of the situation like you were describing in your life, you have to see the bad.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you also have to come and round and see and you did a beautiful job of this in for last week's episode.
[SPEAKER_02]: coming around and saying, yeah, but my parents protected me from this.
[SPEAKER_02]: They didn't pass this on.
[SPEAKER_02]: They didn't do this.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's an integrated story.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you can have compassion.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Elizabeth from our home, that is one generation removed from pretty extreme trauma.
[SPEAKER_02]: You still have to see the good and the bad.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to say,
[SPEAKER_02]: At the same time, I identify here are some things that they didn't get right and being honest.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not just loyal to the honest and to be able to say, okay, here's the clear picture.
[SPEAKER_02]: They didn't get everything right.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then look at those things because those are the things you're liable to pass on.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: So your kids, if you don't have an educated story, you're just going to keep perpetuating.
[SPEAKER_01]: And with that, I agree 100% with everything you just said.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've talked about this before.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you mentioned this in that episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's, you can't just know your story.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to know your parents.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I mean your grandparents stories.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can look at the things that I'm now having to deal with and take on as my responsibility to heal from, to transform
[SPEAKER_01]: And I can look at what the misses were, but I can, I look at it with a great compassion because I know where it came from.
[SPEAKER_01]: It came from you guys trying to be really intentional really good parents, but with no models before you with all sorts of things happening in the church at the time that we're not that we now know we would like to do differently, you know, because no generation gets it right 100% of the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I can look at what, you know, you quote unquote got wrong, but with no anger towards you guys, because your heart was actually really, really good.
[SPEAKER_01]: And and I hope that my kids will do the same of all my misses that I know are happening right now, you know grace, but it's but also like doing it's it's my job to do that to ask those questions to figure out what was going on at the time, yes,
[SPEAKER_01]: in most cases lead you to empathy and being able to like what is I think Sally has said this it's not oh my brain's not going to work it's it's not excusing but it's explaining yes it doesn't excuse that there's stuff now I have to sit through but it does explain how we got here and shifting blame around never helps anything no yeah
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think if you have come, which we all have to one degree or another, I think that the practice or point is for you to begin to identify where the things in your own story that have that background of it's not just maybe you, but there's there's almost maybe a generational component like you've seen this show up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think alcoholism is one example, right.
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of the times, there's a genetic disposition towards addiction, there's genetic dispositions towards a certain kind of activity and or a certain kind of angle of life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, it's to identify where those show up and then really begin the process of inviting the spirit into healing because I mean, it's like Corinthians 5, 17, therefore if anyone's in Christ, they are a new creation and the old is gone, the new is here.
[SPEAKER_00]: The point is, God can break these harmful cycles that come and he can start fresh and you can start fresh.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think it's that hope built into all of this, like, yes, epigenetics with different events can be turned on and almost off, which is interesting, like, inside their finding, like certain events, traumatic events.
[SPEAKER_00]: can turn on some of these things and maybe they were dormant, maybe all of a sudden, you know, you had this event, everything was normal before and after it's just completely erect.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you're trying to figure out why and, and, you know, a huge thing that so much help has been brought to me and so many others, not by somebody coming in and taking the problem away, but just by naming, there's so much healing when you name things, you can't always
[SPEAKER_00]: explain everything or fix everything, but you can name anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you name it, it releases some of its power.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it doesn't mean there's not moments I hurt.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to work through it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But when we name things, it begins to help us understand and categorize.
[SPEAKER_00]: So even with this, I would just highlight and encourage, begin the name, like, whoa, that showed up in my mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: And interestingly, when I talked to my mom about it,
[SPEAKER_00]: That showed up in her mom and interesting like when I talk to her, my grandma about it, that actually just happened with her dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you start to see these patterns of like, wow, this is really deep.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would just first of all highlight that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the encouragement of a Galatians that Christ redeems us from the curse, the curse of generational sin, a generational, generational patterns can be interrupted through Jesus.
[SPEAKER_00]: They can be stopped.
[SPEAKER_02]: But that verse that you just quoted, is it 1st Corinthians 15 or 2nd verse?
[SPEAKER_00]: No, 2nd Corinthians, 570.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: So that was quoted in my early discipleship a lot, but it was applied in a then healthy way, I think now, where it was, therefore, you just can't even talk about that stuff anymore.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just ignore that in Christ, all things are new.
[SPEAKER_02]: My parents became Christians when I was,
[SPEAKER_02]: In my late teens, I was maybe a year ahead of them or gave their lives, neither of them were absolutely sure when they passed from darkness to light, but they dedicated their lives to him later.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was like, okay, now they're new creatures, so we don't deal with that.
[SPEAKER_02]: that's that's in the past.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's an unfortunate application because you have to like it, you said, if you don't get a chance to go back and name those things, then then you are almost just a slave to the repercussion.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, because you have to, you have to, when we'll talk about this in the next part right now, but because you have, because there's a repented piece.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so here's what, here's what we want to talk about.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you can pass on, and you can literally, even with unawareness, pass on generational sin and trauma, but we can also have blessing through generational faithfulness.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what we want to talk about because the question really becomes how.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do we pass on generational faithfulness?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think the first very first thing we've talked about this and we'll kind of talk about what it looks like, but it's first repentance, it's first acknowledging that even though the origin of the reason you've acted this way, this is so much my story.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though the origin of the reason you've acted this way is not yours in full How you've responded to it?
[SPEAKER_00]: How you've held it is your responsibility and how that's impacting other people is your responsibility and so it's beginning the process of Repentance so I want to talk about that and maybe just one little quick story I won't go into detail because you know our kids are at an age and stage where these stories are their own and we're careful to share things and ask their permission
[SPEAKER_00]: Just recently with one of our kids we were, I was having this conversation, it was brought to my attention that the way that Elizabeth and I had said something In talking to them about a particular situation, I'm being vague on purpose, but essentially made them feel like who they were as a person Just wasn't really like desired by us, like hey the way that you're being in this area
[SPEAKER_00]: uh we just we really don't like who you are and like that's what was being communicated through some of the things that we were saying unaware you know we were unaware of how this was impacting this this child and it's not how we actually felt it's not how we felt but it's how they felt and it's how they heard it and so because it's how they heard it
[SPEAKER_00]: It was this really unique thing that when it was brought to our attention, like I feel this way, it was like, well, we have to stop this whole thing, this tensioner, this moment, there was argument that we're in and basically reassure and repent and just be like, that has never been our heart.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I see how you could feel that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I see, you know, and it was really hard to like, it's hard to do these things, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: But what was also a great reminder to me is even in that moment, not letting it even a second go by to undo that lie and reassure and speak truth was amazing how healing I think that's even started and we've seen last little bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think repentance is how we start.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Timothy Keller, his definition really succinct definition of repentance is taking your guilt to God.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so repentance is not.
[SPEAKER_02]: wailing and grieving so much as you take that guilt that is on your shoulders and you bring it to God.
[SPEAKER_02]: And ours is a faith completely centered around the gospel of forgiveness.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's kind of the point.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not just kind of, but yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: is that we are forgiven of so much.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it shouldn't be hard for us to take these things in repentance.
[SPEAKER_02]: Repentance feels like a way lifted off your shoulder because you're taking your repentance to a God who gave his life to forgive you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Sacrifice everything because he wanted
[SPEAKER_02]: to wipe that the guilt of your shame away from you, which is incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes we think of a repentance, oh, I'm so bad.
[SPEAKER_02]: I have to forget that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I have to repent.
[SPEAKER_02]: But the reality is every single person ever born is so bad that we need to repent and we are loved by a good God.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it is really just coming to the father and just saying this is just true about me and I'm ashamed and I wish I could go back and do it over again, but I can't.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm yours, forgive me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and there's so many, I think you mentioned this time, but there's so many counterfits, yeah, to repentance, it almost looks like it can look like different things you could put blaming others.
[SPEAKER_02]: Blaming others was when this is from Timothy colors, but forgiveness, which is, really, I mean, maybe just all of us need to be re-oriented understanding.
[SPEAKER_02]: But blaming others, or self-justification, I did that because you did that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, what parent of teenagers doesn't do that, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's too close to me.
[SPEAKER_02]: I got mad at you because you, you know, are being completely unusable this moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Another one is self pity.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're we're we're sorry about the consequences not.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, not really for the truth that your behavior attitudes or stance breaks the heart of God.
[SPEAKER_02]: So sometimes we end up then misrepresenting him to our children.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's not self-pity.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is genuine honest repentance.
[SPEAKER_02]: Or I'm not even sure exactly how to pronounce this word self modulation modulation with the G with a soft G. Okay, sometimes in my not hearing well, I read words.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that is that self loading when you're creating yourself.
[SPEAKER_02]: As if somehow if you just punish yourself enough.
[SPEAKER_02]: it will absorb you of sin.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is just not.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is so unhealthy.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it actually puts pressures on others around you to be constantly reassured.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not repentance.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's just that's needing a response from somebody else to remove the guilt.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a scripture in the Psalms where David is confessing to God and
[SPEAKER_01]: And then the last line is just so beautiful.
[SPEAKER_01]: He just said, and you removed the guilt of my sin.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: You would expect, especially what he was repenting of these huge sins, that he would say something about being forgiven, but it's no, that you removed the guilt of my sin.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think repentance and confession,
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, is so much more for us than it even is for God.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it restores communion with God, but really for us, he's always ready to give.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_02]: David also in the same kind of circumstance in his life where he was caught.
[SPEAKER_02]: and really gross in and really reprinted beautifully in the Psalm 51, 134.
[SPEAKER_02]: Be gracious to me, oh God, according to your loving kindness, not because I've just poured into your loving kind according to the greatness of your compassion.
[SPEAKER_02]: Plot out my transgressions.
[SPEAKER_02]: wash me thoroughly from my iniquity cleans me from my sin.
[SPEAKER_02]: For I know my transgressions and my sin is every before me against you and this is key against you and you only I have sin and dumb what is evil in your sight.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's the root of.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no excuses there.
[SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't because he saw this beautiful woman and couldn't help himself.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was, it was just fully against you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Only I have said that's really important.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's owning it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think the first thing we talked about is repentance and be aware of those counterfeit from parts of the word.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's easy to be like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but I mean, we all do that and I think sometimes it's so generational that's what you've been modeled so much that you literally have to relearn what it means to repent and so and what does it mean to apologize and so I think first is repentance a second thing we need to to give is really a healing apology so we repent yes this is like God I've lived this way I've I've handled this wrongly
[SPEAKER_00]: But then it's moving to a healing apology and that's actually different sometimes than just an apology.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, there's obviously like owning it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think you kind of mentioned this and again, these overlap a little bit and we're going to talk about the last last one's going to they'll pull you more on that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But these two overlap a little bit because that looks like first you have to take full responsibility.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like again, even though maybe this pattern was something
[SPEAKER_00]: It's still having enough wisdom, ability, maturity to say this is actually I'm responding to this poorly and I'm handling this song, which is a big part of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that's huge.
[SPEAKER_00]: The second thing with that is you have to tell, so take full responsibility, then tell your own story.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think tell some of the story of where this
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, even be honest about that, like I know I've had to do that with with our kids, like let me just explain to like this doesn't make an excuse, but let me explain the reality of this.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's interesting when we've done that want two things have happened one, the compassion and the empathy with my kids, like their response is like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: The second response, which I don't love as much, is like, hey, Dad, you can't use your generational, or your child's problem as an excuse to be lame.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's not an excuse.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, of course, and I agree with that, but sometimes they're,
[SPEAKER_00]: They're frustrated.
[SPEAKER_00]: They'll have this language because they have language around it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, that's just not fair.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think, you know, it's, it's again, telling your story, letting know, like, here's what my life was like, and it doesn't make an excuse, but like, please understand, I'm not just start.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not just like, have all my faculties, and I'm just choosing not to use them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think from observation, that is a, that is not that kind of telling your own story and honestly taking full responsibility has not been modeled well in my generation.
[SPEAKER_02]: Many of us tried so hard to do things differently than our parents.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, we came out of the Jesus movement or right after the Jesus movement and we brought all this zeal into our home and we were really trying to be intentional parents.
[SPEAKER_02]: And this is a danger of warning sign for all of those of you who want to be intentional parents and are breaking away from patterns.
[SPEAKER_02]: in the past, you will still make some major mistakes.
[SPEAKER_02]: And and you hope that the good overcomes the bad, but that's just not the way it works and actually the way and interpersonal relationships.
[SPEAKER_02]: There has to be an acknowledgement, is I did this.
[SPEAKER_02]: in my ignorance, I passed on what my parents passed on to me.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I passed it on to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: I am genuinely sorry.
[SPEAKER_02]: How can I now begin to bring healing where I hurt you?
[SPEAKER_02]: And that kind of word.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm genuinely sorry.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not your fault.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was never your fault.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was about this part of my story that I was still unaware of, but now I'm aware.
[SPEAKER_02]: So how can I join you in the journey of the healing that I was passed from my grandparents to my parents that I passed to you and that you are likely beginning to pass to your kids.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I feel like that's really important for my generation to be, yes, we did the best we could.
[SPEAKER_02]: and that's best we could wasn't good enough, and we still hurt our kids.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's not about trying your best.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not the gospel.
[SPEAKER_02]: The gospel is absolutely forgiveness and newness in life.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like telling your own story, recognizing your own story, instead of glossing it over of, I did my best.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I did better than my parents.
[SPEAKER_02]: All of those things are true, but that's kind of, that's for your kids to come to that conclusion, not for us to shift out their threats.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like the older generation is always going to have the most influence on making those changes for the next generation and like what you talked about just
[SPEAKER_02]: just being able to do that healing apology is step number one through 10.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, typically.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and the last part of that is letting others keep you accountable.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that idea for some of you have adult kids, like let your kids keep you accountable.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're married and you have young kids, let your spouse keep you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that naturally happens with us.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's almost
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, this isn't who you want to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't what you wanted, or who you want to be fully.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's also something that's really important.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, as our adult kids get older to create spaces to where they can share this stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'll just be honest, like, our kids are old enough now to start having versions of these conversations.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not fun, like it's an adult.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, I mean, meaning just like it's they see you better than.
[SPEAKER_00]: then you even realize they see your stuff and they see the the weird ways in which you operate or don't or whatever and they can say it with such clarity and so I think they bring a ton of accountability but it's just that that's a part of this whole dynamic because that you have to remember and then also remember it just takes a lot of time like change true change takes a very long time so you're trying to undo generational sins and patterns that takes a long time.
[SPEAKER_02]: And part of the reason it takes a long time is because we develop our value system largely negatively so we look back at our parents and we see we don't want to make that mistake so it's a negative way good decision it's a good way of making decisions that life is is negative but if we develop values.
[SPEAKER_02]: in a negative way, I think it can overstress certain values.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like for instance, I would just say, you know, we've identified several in the process, even now, of identifying what are some from my side of the family, in particular, values even that have been passed on that we've overdone.
[SPEAKER_02]: And one of them is the value of hardware.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's a great, I mean, I'm so grateful that my parents taught me how to work hard, but somehow in there we also equated it with success and a false view of success.
[SPEAKER_02]: Success is
[SPEAKER_02]: Climbing the ladder, success is making the money.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a fish owning a home.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's providing, you know, for your kids or paying for college, really good things, really good goals.
[SPEAKER_02]: But how does not the gospel definite or the biblical definition of success?
[SPEAKER_02]: And it may not be attainable for everybody.
[SPEAKER_02]: Or in every, I mean, I'd say, are economy right now makes that really difficult.
[SPEAKER_02]: to be able to achieve the kind of success that was actually easier in our generation and much easier in my parents generation.
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's just one example.
[SPEAKER_02]: It went from hard work to defining success and really hard to obtain words.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, in hard to obtain values.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then that leads to stress, intention, like we all have to live it into that.
[SPEAKER_02]: That'd be working and be super productive and all of that can lead to just deep disappointment.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just not a biblical view.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's something good can get twist into a family value of self-worth that is actually harmful.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So what we want to do from all of this is how do we really become healers, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and obviously for context of Jesus is the ultimate healer
[SPEAKER_00]: But how can he fill you use you to be able to become that healer for your kids?
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's our job to be an active agent of healing for our family.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's just, that's our job.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's to really think through how do we actually become this?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I just want to take a couple minutes to talk about what that looks like, because I think for each of us, it might look a little different
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, hopefully shed light to different people listening.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll just start really quick and to just say, like, for me to become a healer, it's been just to have to learn to know and accept my story.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to know it, but then you have to accept, like, here's all the things.
[SPEAKER_00]: that I would have really wished and never happened and I really wish I would have been further down the road on this and this is a part of my default because of how I was raised and what I was raised in and I have to deal with that and that's a lot and that's not fun and I don't love how I don't love that responsibility and I don't even want that responsibility and even recently we're talking to one of our therapists, one of our many
[SPEAKER_00]: hired therapist and we were chatting with her and it was just like the, you know, I don't want to be so easily dysregulated, but I really am for reasons that I didn't even choose.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that that's hard sometimes when you have to realize like, I don't want this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like what it results.
[SPEAKER_00]: I also don't feel like I'm fully in control of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I also don't feel like I have to say in the matter of how sensitive I am to dysregulation.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's just one example of many of like where you have to begin the process.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'd say to become a healer, you have to start knowing your story, inviting Jesus into heal it, that you can even see what a different way is.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'd be curious for you ladies.
[SPEAKER_00]: What are some of the ways for becoming healing?
[SPEAKER_01]: What came to mind when you said that was kind of three things that we have to be people who look back, who look at the present and who look to the future with a mindset of what we want that to be.
[SPEAKER_01]: meaning we hear all over the scriptures that command to remember.
[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of theologian think it's like the second most repeated command.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think some of them don't some of them disagree over if it's do not fear or remember, which one of the most usually do not fear winds out, but but remember is a close second.
[SPEAKER_01]: And really, it's an idea of remembering what God has done, remembering who He is.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think for us, like looking back and remembering what you came from, what you're healing from, what God has done, like we talked about the good and the bad, the whole integrated story.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like what you're talking about, Brooke, of like really understanding your story so that you can heal from it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then looking at the present and saying, where's the showing up in my life right now?
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's my spouse is telling me, maybe I don't see it, but my spouse is telling me, my kids are telling me, or maybe I'm watching it happen, and I have yet to actually confess and to repent and to ask for forgiveness.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it when our older kids right now tell us things, and it's just how I'm wired.
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell us things that
[SPEAKER_01]: that are hurting them because to me, it's like, oh, yes, I want to fix this now and not later.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like when it feels like it's almost too late or there's been years of damage of years of me doing this, I want to hear about it now.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, just the other day, I'm so open about our kids health journey.
[SPEAKER_01]: And one of our kids doesn't want to be as open as I have been about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was actually a couple of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And this kid was telling me how I was hurting them by being, I was frustrating them and hurting them by telling their story openly.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was this moment of realizing, oh, I need to make this transition.
[SPEAKER_01]: This kid is older now.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I have no problem sharing every detail.
[SPEAKER_01]: What this journey has been like, it's actually like healing for me to do so.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not hard for me to let people into that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's not in public spaces.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was more referring to like one-on-one conversation because in a public space, we always ask permission.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's important to know.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not referring to this moment, like the podcast space.
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, they, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: But he had highlighted that, and I had to go to him and say, I am so sorry, you are so right.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I had to explain to him the context of when you were younger, when Bertie was a baby, this was kind of my story to tell.
[SPEAKER_01]: This was happening to our family.
[SPEAKER_01]: It didn't affect you guys for me to talk about it and to talk about it often.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I have not made the transition fast enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's hurt you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm so sorry, and I commit to hit from here on out.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I'm not going to tell it unless I have your permission or you want to share it.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's looking to the present of like recognizing when especially when you're being given feedback from your kids, whether it's gracious feedback or not, you have an opportunity there.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then the looking to the future part of like what I want to be in the future is a person of humility and each of my kids that my spouse that my family members that those who I love and I'm close to can come to me and say, hey, this hurt me in the past or I'm realizing because our kids I want them to be able to come to us and say,
[SPEAKER_01]: how you did this over and over and over again when we were young.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is what it has done to me and I'm needing to heal from it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want a chance to repent then.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which can be a beautiful landscape you guys have created in our home.
[SPEAKER_01]: So to me being an agent of healing is like over time you can't always do all three of those things at once.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that's the person I want to become.
[SPEAKER_01]: Somebody who can look back and be managing repentance in the present and in the future be a person that is humble and able to receive all that without defensiveness or having to overly explain.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really well said.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Really well said.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think as Brooke, I was thinking of you when
[SPEAKER_02]: This is so fresh for you.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's to know discovery of being able to ever even look at your story and look back and understand how some of your reactivity has come out of that and your...
[SPEAKER_02]: your hyper alert nervous system and things like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: What a beautiful thing it is with you now to be able to identify patterns.
[SPEAKER_02]: And as you become more and more at rest because you see God changing you, you see this, this sort of long suffering developing in your life so that, you know, you're not as easily activated because you have so much more peace with God and this
[SPEAKER_02]: time, time, time, and just instantly take a drug, you have it be gone.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not, not like that, it's it's time, but then you grow more secure and that then I think it's easier to become that change agent and you're already become in the change agent because you're saying this is wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't agree with this.
[SPEAKER_02]: I repent of this.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry for this.
[SPEAKER_02]: I grieve over this.
[SPEAKER_02]: But then, over time, it becomes more and more easy, I think, for you to be able to spot it and say, oh, wait, say it's slow.
[SPEAKER_02]: Wait, slow.
[SPEAKER_02]: That reaction comes from this and this is not something you want to.
[SPEAKER_02]: You do not want to follow in the footsteps of the generations before you by reacting in that way.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me show you a better way.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is what's helped me.
[SPEAKER_02]: So again, it's just story, bringing in to help your kids.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like for me identifying, for instance, I think an aha moment, early on in your young adulthood, it was realizing, my grandmother was always on a diet.
[SPEAKER_02]: My mother was always on a diet.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was always on a diet.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then seeing it show up in your life of Elizabeth as just an over obsession with early with an erected kind of mindset that we ever really got.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's full grip on you but got awfully close.
[SPEAKER_02]: was a battle, realizing, oh my gosh, four generations have contributed to this trauma.
[SPEAKER_02]: Lies, we believe that somehow we're better food is the enemy and we're better in the first any.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then seeing you now, take hold of that with some good counseling, so you have
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're not passing that on to your girls and I'm watching it thinking oh my gosh this would have been so simple.
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know any of this.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so there's been grace flowing towards me, but also me being able to cheer you on and say you're right to do this, keep doing this, keep going.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's how generational patterns of sin and trauma get stuck.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they don't always get stopped in one generation to continue that on.
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember years ago now my mindset before, you know, we got married really young.
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't even really recognize this was a, I didn't recognize the degree of the problem in my own life.
[SPEAKER_01]: until probably early 20s and slowly started to pursue healing.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I had this idea and my early 20s before ever having kids before understanding healing and spiritual formation that I was just going to never let my kids know.
[SPEAKER_01]: that this was a struggle because I didn't want it to be their struggle.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was going to do it all perfect so that they never had to struggle with their weight so that they never had to struggle with all the emotions and all the stuff that I had carried for so many years that was my false mindset when I was in my early 20s.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and I remember years later, after years of healing work, years of counseling, and talking to you, and you had this really prophetic moment.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, Brooke, for anyone listening.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have this prophetic moment in my life where I was kind of going a little bit back into like, I just really want to do this better with our kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want them to carry the pain that I've carried.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you just lovingly and graciously pointed out, and you said, we are not going to do this right.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to fix this with our kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you pointed out that I had generation after generation of stuff, and I had deep stuff from it, and that you on the flip side didn't come from this like great healthy view of food and body either.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you pointed out, and I think it was just a spirit filled moment, you said, with our kids, we're going to get a little bit better.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the hope is that with their kids, they will do a little bit better.
[SPEAKER_01]: And with their kids, they'll do a little bit better.
[SPEAKER_01]: And a few generations from now, this could be total freedom, and it could not be a thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And for me, that was so hopeful because it took the pressure off of, well, I have to do this right because all the generations before me didn't do it very well.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I suffered because of it, that scripture you read at the beginning of it being passed down and affecting the children, me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, it just gave me this really hopeful outlook of like I'm not doing it perfectly with my kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I'm not because I'm still in my own healing journey and so much is caught more than it's taught and we can communicate so much without saying words.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I know I'm making really big strides.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know my kids are also helping me continue to face this in my own life.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm so hopeful of what they're going to be able to do with their kids and their kids with their kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that is just an example of what this can look like of it's things don't usually get fixed in one generation, but they get better in one generation.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: They do.
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, I think that was a really great, you know, great way to say it, that they get better.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's our hope.
[SPEAKER_00]: How can we become a healer to this moment?
[SPEAKER_00]: And for some, it might be, you're, you know, depending upon the situation, the circumstance, in one generation, it could be eradicated.
[SPEAKER_00]: And in others, it might take a long time, depending upon how deeply the root is.
[SPEAKER_02]: But how much culture around you is influencing that very particular area.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wherever you're out with this, you know, this is going to hit everyone in a different way.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think for some, this is going to be like, I've never even heard of this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even care.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's totally understandable.
[SPEAKER_00]: For some, you might say, whoa, this is bringing some language to stuff I'm feeling.
[SPEAKER_00]: And for some, you might already be on this journey.
[SPEAKER_00]: And wherever you're at,
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the hope is to just take this and ask today, God, how can I be a person that brings healing through your spirit to my family, to your marriage, to your kids, to your family situation, and we all have this stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're like, I'm pretty good.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're just unaware.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what that is.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not that you don't see it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You haven't skipped the genetic lottery and you aren't like God's gifts to everyone that like we all have our stuff that's the biggest truth this side of heaven.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can ignore it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can suppress it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can try to numb it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can try to drown it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it doesn't mean it's not there.
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of the times we just try to avoid.
[SPEAKER_00]: until we have to face it.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so maybe for you, some of you, the word it today is to just face it, to begin the process of facing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's really hard, and I'll just say, personally, facing your story is hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: But what's much harder is living a distorted life because you never deal with it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's much harder.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it also causes exponentially more pain.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you just pass it on.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, so ladies, today, thank you for this lovely conversation.
[SPEAKER_00]: And wherever you're at, be encouraged.
[SPEAKER_00]: Check out Sherno's for more resources