[SPEAKER_00]: Those of you who've actually messed around with a friend's mom or dad, how did it go down?
[SPEAKER_00]: Story one.
[SPEAKER_00]: A friend's mom caught me in their bathroom once.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was practicing my solo performance.
[SPEAKER_00]: She just walked in because she thought no one else was home.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the other guys were over at a neighbors, so I hadn't locked the door.
[SPEAKER_00]: She immediately saw what I was doing and came in.
[SPEAKER_00]: She then closed the door and walked over to me for some help.
[SPEAKER_00]: After that, she washed her hands and said, let's keep this between us, huh?
[SPEAKER_00]: And walked out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I ended up messing around with her several times after that, but we never actually did it.
[SPEAKER_00]: The one time we started was a moment of passion after a soccer game, but she told me to stop.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said we could do that in the future when we had protection.
[SPEAKER_00]: Unfortunately, I went to college shortly after that, and never hung out with her jerk son anymore, so I never saw her until they graduated.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I went to watch, I hugged her, and she whispered in my ear that I could call her anytime.
[SPEAKER_00]: But honestly, the whole thing felt wrong after a while.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am just glad I wasn't better friends with her son because that could do serious damage to a friendship.
[SPEAKER_00]: But one night, I was hanging out with some of the guys I went to the private school with.
[SPEAKER_00]: After two bars and several drinks, we began talking about dirty topics and the topic of being with a friend's mom came up.
[SPEAKER_00]: We all got quiet and looked at each other really tense before I went, no freaking way, no way.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my buddy goes, no way, so-and-so's mom, and our other friend says, dude, did she catch you in the bathroom too?
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's how I found out she apparently helped every young guy she purposefully caught performing solo in her house, which turned out to include every guy at the table.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was most of our first experiences and it was weird, never felt more bonded to a group than those guys.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Story Two.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was twenty-three, and she was forty-four.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her son and I were friends, and in college together, she was five foot two, thin, really cute, and originally from the Dominican Republic.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had always kind of flirted with me, but I just thought that's all it was.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: A bunch of us got together and went out to have dinner on New Year's Eve, and she went with us.
[SPEAKER_00]: We all had fun and went back to her house.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her son and his girlfriend went to bed, and before I was able to get out the door, she asked me to sit beside her by the fireplace.
[SPEAKER_00]: She leaned her head on my shoulder and looked up at me and asked, do you want to?
[SPEAKER_00]: Couldn't say yes fast enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: She and I dated for two and a half years.
[SPEAKER_00]: As a bonus, I learned a good deal of Spanish from her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story three, I did have a friend who did something impressive.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was a local musician in our small town.
[SPEAKER_00]: My buddy is a hippie dude with long, greasy hair, but he has the voice of an angel.
[SPEAKER_00]: He gained a following in our little town.
[SPEAKER_00]: He starts dating this girl who must have had confidence issues, because seriously, my friend really only had one thing going for him, and that was music.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, she wizes up, realizes his illuser, and leaves for California.
[SPEAKER_00]: My friend goes into a depression and writes all these sad, soppy songs.
[SPEAKER_00]: While the girl's mother is freshly divorced, and also one of the bar scene regulars, she starts talking to my friend and invites him over to talk and write a song, so he keeps seeing his ex-girlfriend's mom for private sash for a while.
[SPEAKER_00]: But wait, there's more.
[SPEAKER_00]: The dirty hippie boy is playing a show and runs into his ex-girlfriend's sister at one of the out-of-town shows.
[SPEAKER_00]: She brings him back to her place and they also do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: He got involved with all the women in that one family.
[SPEAKER_00]: The two daughters were very attractive.
[SPEAKER_00]: The mom was just so so.
[SPEAKER_00]: Neither daughter knows that he was seeing their mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story four.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was the friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: My parents had me young, mum left, but Dad kept me and raised me as a single parent.
[SPEAKER_00]: Later on, I met a friend whom I will call Felicia.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had a huge crush on my dad and tended to stutter in his presence.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if Dad knew or if he just assumed she was like that in general.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was her only friend, and he knew that.
[SPEAKER_00]: She got bullied a lot in school.
[SPEAKER_00]: He knew about that too.
[SPEAKER_00]: She also had a rough home life, so she was over at my place a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said she only really felt safe at my house.
[SPEAKER_00]: Before you start railing on my dad, nothing happened back then.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was young and looked like one, had horrible acne, and her personal hygiene wasn't the best.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to remind her to take showers.
[SPEAKER_00]: But life happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: We graduated and moved on.
[SPEAKER_00]: We both have boyfriends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I made new friends, but we kept in touch.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to university.
[SPEAKER_00]: She did too, but dropped out because she got pregnant with her then boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_00]: They ended up breaking up.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was a jerk who wasn't any better than her dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: He stalked her too.
[SPEAKER_00]: I still remember her calling me in tears because he'd come to her apartment to threaten her and she was losing her crap and refused to call the cops.
[SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, she had the baby.
[SPEAKER_00]: To make things even worse, the kid got cancer and passed as a toddler.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was destitute.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was engaged by now, and we couldn't take her in.
[SPEAKER_00]: But she was in pieces, and the way she was talking, I was terrified she was going to harm herself.
[SPEAKER_00]: None of our friends could take her in either, and her ex was starting up again with his BS.
[SPEAKER_00]: He'd lost interest in her after the baby was born, but after the baby passed away, he decided it was all my friends fault.
[SPEAKER_00]: I ended up calling my dad, begging him to let Felicia have my old room.
[SPEAKER_00]: He talked about selling up, but the house was fully paid off, and he never got around to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: He sort of shrugged and went, why not?
[SPEAKER_00]: She was a good kid.
[SPEAKER_00]: He hadn't seen her for years at that point, and I think he was lonely after I moved out, so he let her stay rent free until she got back on her feet.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even paid for her to get counseling.
[SPEAKER_00]: In exchange, she cleaned the house and helped him redo the garden.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, she never moved out.
[SPEAKER_00]: My dad has always been really generous, and I guess he saw a kindred spirit in Felicia since she was also pregnant young, and he's never wanted people to go through what he did.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I wasn't surprised that her stay was lasting a long time.
[SPEAKER_00]: They genuinely seemed to become friends, and my dad seemed happy again now that the house wasn't empty.
[SPEAKER_00]: Three years after she moved in.
[SPEAKER_00]: My friend Giltali Fest up.
[SPEAKER_00]: She'd been dating my father for two years.
[SPEAKER_00]: They ended up getting married.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our kids are both ten.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is super weird that I have a baby half brother through them, but they're all happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And to this day, if they divorced, I still don't know who's buddied kick.
[SPEAKER_00]: Visits home are still a bit weird though.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not awkward, not exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just weird.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story Five.
[SPEAKER_00]: It first started with some friends from work in a group chat.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's call the friend in question.
[SPEAKER_00]: Dave.
[SPEAKER_00]: For months we were told stories by Dave about his relationship with his mother, and all the stupid stuff she would do when he was growing up.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't remember exactly, but it wasn't weird between them.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was just too much information.
[SPEAKER_00]: I really never cared for Dave, as he was a one-uper in every conversation.
[SPEAKER_00]: You did that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh yeah, I've done that backwards.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've caught a fish this big.
[SPEAKER_00]: Imagine that being a grown man's arms.
[SPEAKER_00]: During some of these conversations, the jokes started about Dave's mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was kind of the ringleader on the joke train.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fast forward to maybe six months, and the group chat was still going.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was moved to a different building for a different job.
[SPEAKER_00]: While I was there, word came through that Dave's mom was actually getting hired at the company.
[SPEAKER_00]: I giggled to myself and continued on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Little did I know that his mom would be on my team, and her cubicle was right next to mine.
[SPEAKER_00]: Once I saw her, I was immediately attracted to her.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was a little older, forty-eight, beautiful, and had this aura about her that she knows she can get what she wants.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've always been a flirt, and I am pretty personable to most around me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we start talking, as I have a naturally in his Dave's friend, we at times kind of badmouthing between the two of us, but it wasn't anything terrible.
[SPEAKER_00]: After a few weeks of flirting, I asked her if she wanted to go out for beers.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said, sure, why don't you come over to my house, and we will have dinner.
[SPEAKER_00]: Dinner and drinks were had.
[SPEAKER_00]: After dinner, we were conversing and came to find out we had a lot of things in common and one of them was being very affectionate.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came over and sat next to me and it happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: We ended up upstairs in her room.
[SPEAKER_00]: Did I see Dave's picture on the wall as we were going up?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and did it stop anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
[SPEAKER_00]: This was probably some of the best times of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was completely giving.
[SPEAKER_00]: After all is said and done, I had downstairs for some water.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was thirsty after being taken to my limits.
[SPEAKER_00]: As I passed by my friend's picture on the wall, I of course gave the picture a little fist bump.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were hanging out for a few weeks, and I had to call it off, as I didn't want to end up having to tell my friend I was seeing his mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story six I was at the bar watching a friend's bandplay.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was staying in that town because they were playing an hour and a half away from the town where I lived.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was chatting up the mom of my friend's roommate.
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone had bumped into her later, and she showed me that someone spilled beer down her shirt, so I immediately started patting it with my shirt.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said if I was going to act like that, I needed to go out to my car.
[SPEAKER_00]: I commented that I rode with my buddy there, and she told me to get the keys then.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did.
[SPEAKER_00]: We immediately got into it, and I ended up breaking her glasses, and then we went back to my buddy's place after the show.
[SPEAKER_00]: He had two empty rooms upstairs and we went and did it in one of them and then went downstairs to join everybody else.
[SPEAKER_00]: As I was standing, she got all clingy and was talking to one of our other friends about starting a future with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I immediately freaked the heck out and drove home at three in the morning.
[SPEAKER_00]: That was the longest drive of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to slap myself awake.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was way drunk and should not have been on the road.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story seven, I am the friend here.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mother and the current roommate of the time were both warned about the other's issues and that they were unreliable.
[SPEAKER_00]: They decided to lie to me for months and have a casual relationship telling me that they were going out with a friend or whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was up to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: They are adults.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then I get both of them trying to use me to hurt the other and trying to twist the story.
[SPEAKER_00]: How Mums' other casual guy emailed the roommate claiming that said Rumi got her pregnant and left her alone through it.
[SPEAKER_00]: How Rumi was unreliable, let her down, upset her, and was sleeping with her behind my back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Both got very quickly told, I wouldn't be their person in the middle of this BS to hurt each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: They'd both been warned the other wasn't to be trusted because of various reasons.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if they'd asked, I'd have told them outright, it was up to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the personality clash would be a huge issue.
[SPEAKER_00]: Passing remark from Mother.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I knew it wouldn't last, it was only a bit of fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, with the guy I was on a lease with as a friend, I'd already told you about his addictions, lies, and inability to actually follow through with anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, and that I have to live with for eight months more, go get your fun elsewhere, and keep me out of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: The roomy's excuse was, but I kind of got in transt with the idea I could be your stepfather.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't speak to either of them now since they didn't take the warning and still tried to use me in other ways.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story eight.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was invited to this New Year's Eve party in two thousand eighteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: One of my friend's roommates was a petite blonde forty-two-year-old who had a daughter that was about my age.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got very, very drunk, which I didn't typically do even at New Year's parties.
[SPEAKER_00]: Around midnight, after not interacting with this woman all night, I was frustrated as I'd gotten blown off by my date.
[SPEAKER_00]: I approached her and put my arm around her, offering her a New Year's kiss.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some jerk thought he was being a savior or something, and got aggressive with me about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I offered him a New Year's kiss too, and then he left me alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, we didn't kiss, but I waited until everyone had left the party.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was on the floor in the living room, lying down and playing with her dog.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was in the kitchen cleaning up party materials, and I do believe she was excessively sober.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hadn't seen her drink, and she seemed well in mind anyway.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said she was going to bed and that she was taking the dog.
[SPEAKER_00]: She told me I could stay on the couch or floor, so I accepted neither, and asked if I could cuddle her dog a little longer upstairs.
[SPEAKER_00]: I followed her upstairs and cuddled the dog.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was from the south and had a thick, heavenly accent.
[SPEAKER_00]: I left her dog and I crept up behind her while she was watching TV and started kissing her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was nervous, but I made a good choice.
[SPEAKER_00]: She turned around and reciprocated.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then we did it four times throughout the night.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a totally new and exciting experience for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So much so that I barely slept and had no hang over whatsoever.
[SPEAKER_00]: What a night.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story nine.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was nineteen, I ended up in a mental hospital for a self-harm attempt, and one of the ladies in one of my group therapy groups was the mom of this guy I had gone to high school with.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was separated from her husband at the time, and she and I got along well.
[SPEAKER_00]: After I got out of the hospital, she and I would hang out and talk or go to the movies.
[SPEAKER_00]: One day, I apparently flirted with her not exactly on purpose, and we sort of started spending the night together a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: She divorced her husband, told her family she was a lesbian, and said she felt like she had always been gay but didn't know it.
[SPEAKER_00]: She went full on LGBT empowerment.
[SPEAKER_00]: This was the early nineties in the Bible Belt, and she was a just out forty-eight-year-old.
[SPEAKER_00]: She started dating different women, and the last time I saw her, she seemed very happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think her son ever knew it was me who turned his family upside down.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story ten
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was really young, probably about twenty-two, and I went to a buddy of mine's house.
[SPEAKER_00]: He, his wife and his kids live there.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it was with his mom, who had what they called an open house.
[SPEAKER_00]: Any of the friends could come and go as they pleased and stay whenever they needed to.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, everybody was gone, or so I thought.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I opened up a bottle of Jim Beam and started drinking at the dining room table.
[SPEAKER_00]: This guy's mom was hot, like Chandler's mom from American Pie-Hot.
[SPEAKER_00]: While she comes downstairs and sees me drinking alone, she asks me why I am drinking alone, and I am like, well, nobody else is here.
[SPEAKER_00]: She says, it's a shame.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now an important note, she had been sober for over thirteen years at this point and was in recovery.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, she broke that thirteen year sobriety and finished that bottle with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I was mostly gay at the time, but still slightly by.
[SPEAKER_00]: One thing led to another, and basically I ended up having some of the best time of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a friend in sixth and seventh grade who moved away at the beginning of eighth.
[SPEAKER_00]: We met back up in college, she was in a relationship, so we never pursued a relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: I ended up getting married some years later and divorced a few years after that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was on the post divorce prowl and friended her mom on Facebook to see what the old girlfriend was up to.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was living in another state with her new husband and infant.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her mom asked me the lunch to catch up, catching up turned into her revealing that she always thought I was a special person and always hoped I'd end up with her daughter.
[SPEAKER_00]: I could tell she was totally into me and came across as being very lonely from her recent divorce, so I just made a move and she practically threw herself at me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I could tell by her reaction and pleasantly surprised looks that she'd never done half of the things we did.
[SPEAKER_00]: We continued for an hour and a half and when we were done, she just lay there in shock.
[SPEAKER_00]: I asked if she was okay and she just continued to stare at the ceiling and said, this was the best I ever had in my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: She continued on about how she hadn't been intimate with her husband since she became pregnant with her then nine-year-old daughter and how she'd never experienced that kind of passion with him.
[SPEAKER_00]: I believe she was only ever with her husband, and it kind of made me sad that this forty-six year old woman had never experienced such passion.
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt really bad after that night because she had made it clear that she wanted a relationship with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew I couldn't give her what she wanted, so I chose to avoid her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I ran into her a few years later after I had remarried, and she told me she was heartbroken after I stopped talking to her, and that she had cried and cried when she found out I was married.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said she told her bishop what had happened, but that she didn't regret it because it was the single most enjoyable moment of her life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story Twelve.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was nineteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: My girlfriend and I had broken up a few months earlier after she got pregnant, and we went to the local clinic to take care of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: There was a lot of understandable tension about the experience.
[SPEAKER_00]: She has since gone off to college.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been working for her mother on weekends for two years, doing heavy labor on her small farm, more like a giant vegetable garden actually.
[SPEAKER_00]: After work, I'd normally take a shower in a small campsite shower stall behind the barn.
[SPEAKER_00]: That was the routine.
[SPEAKER_00]: I rarely saw the mom more than a few minutes I'd ever worked.
[SPEAKER_00]: But she was sweet and seemed to like me a bit, as I was a pretty responsible and hardworking kid.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had no idea why her daughter and I had broken up, so there was no bad blood or anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyhow, it was a cold day, and she happened to come out just as I was about to take a shower and suggested that I come inside and use the one there so it was not to freeze.
[SPEAKER_00]: I said fine, went into the guest bathroom and had a pleasant warm shower.
[SPEAKER_00]: The same thing happened the next few times, she just told me to go ahead and take a shower so long as it was cold out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was always really good about not leaving the place of mess, as it was a heck of a lot nicer than showering outside.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then one day I was showering, and she knocked on the door to ask if I needed anything, but I couldn't hear her well, so I yelled at her that I was in the shower, and well, couldn't hear her well.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came into the bathroom and asked if I needed a towel.
[SPEAKER_00]: This was weird as I always had a towel, but I wasn't too freaked out about this.
[SPEAKER_00]: The shower had a tiled wall in front of it, which you had to step around to enter so she couldn't really see me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I told her I was fine, and to my surprise, she walked over to the open space leading to the shower and just stared.
[SPEAKER_00]: Shampoo suds were running down my face, and I was a little embarrassed, but I acted normal, and halfway jokingly asked if she wanted to come in.
[SPEAKER_00]: I tend to deal with stress by making jokes.
[SPEAKER_00]: She didn't say a word and disappeared.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was horrified that I defended her somehow, but then she stepped into the shower and came to my side as if, yes indeed, she needed a shower.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, I was really freaked out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should mention that this was thirty-four years ago, and while all of this seems obvious now, at the time, I wasn't so sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then things escalated, but didn't get to the actual deed.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had been divorced almost since my ex-girlfriend was born, and as far as I could tell, had never dated or expressed much interest in doing so.
[SPEAKER_00]: My ex-girlfriend told me she thought her mom was frigid, which now was impossible to believe.
[SPEAKER_00]: As soon as I was done, she left the shower, and when I came downstairs, she made me coffee, and neither of us disgusted.
[SPEAKER_00]: The following week was horrible, as I had no idea how I would react, and I vacillated between hoping I would see her the next weekend, and praying I wouldn't.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I did, and this time she walked into the bathroom with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: If anything, I was more nervous.
[SPEAKER_00]: The next time she didn't get in the shower, but when I did come out she led me to her bedroom, and we well it happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was confusing and weird.
[SPEAKER_00]: She would let me spend the night in her bed, but she would sleep in another room and would always be up before me to you know prepare a breakfast menu.
[SPEAKER_00]: The weird thing is that there seemed to be a tacit rule that we weren't to make much small talk, although she was kind and seemed to like me beyond it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Over the holidays, I was not to show up, but one time she called to say she'd booked a room at a motel.
[SPEAKER_00]: On some level, I think she was very lonely, which made her general silence when we were together bewildering.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why did it end?
[SPEAKER_00]: There were about four occasions in a row where she made it clear she wanted to do something extreme, which creeped me out.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not my thing, and the last time I just refused, and she started to cry.
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt that things were getting out of hand, so I pretty politely told her so and quit the job.
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw her once more at a shop, two years later, and she greeted me exactly as if I were her daughter's high school boyfriend and nothing else, and was quite pleasant.
[SPEAKER_00]: She must be in her late seventies now if she's still around, which is also quite strange.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was my friend's aunt, not his mom, but she was like family to him, and frequently visited his house.
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew her for about ten years, but barely spoke at length with her.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had a pretty American life, a husband, and three-three boys.
[SPEAKER_00]: They liked camping and archery and boy scouts.
[SPEAKER_00]: They were always involved with family and friends and always together.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her husband had been cheating on her with their kids' friends, parents.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was kind of a swinging situation, but she was out of the loop.
[SPEAKER_00]: Once she found out, she kept it secret because she didn't want to ruin the family and just dealt with denying their relationship while sleeping in the same bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had known him for about four years and finally, at forty years old and twenty years of marriage, decided to divorce him.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a very messy divorce.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her ex straight up told her kids that she just didn't want a family anymore, and she didn't want to tell them he had cheated because she didn't want them to think of their father like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: She held true for quite a few years, but the kids were brainwashed by her ex.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was alienated from her kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was over my friends her nephew's house on and off for a lot of my late teens in early twenties.
[SPEAKER_00]: He lived right down the road and we younger guys would smoke and hang out there all the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: The entire summer was spent at his house.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was about twenty-three and she was forty-two when we just kind of started chatting at the table.
[SPEAKER_00]: She didn't smoke, she would just be visiting the family because it was all she had at that point.
[SPEAKER_00]: Every couple of weeks after that, we would find ourselves chatting away somewhere in or around the house or the pool.
[SPEAKER_00]: Often when people were around, we kept conversation short, and a lot of eye glancing and passing rubs would take the place of talk.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was definitely in great shape, cute and blonde, strong and determined, but you could tell she dealt with a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was tense to the touch, she worked hard, and just didn't get a good shake.
[SPEAKER_00]: We started texting because we needed each other's numbers for some Halloween party she was hosting for the extended family.
[SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, intermittent texting turned flirtatious.
[SPEAKER_00]: We started to hug goodbye after seeing each other, and she would just hug a little bit longer than a friendly hug.
[SPEAKER_00]: One night, I was house-sitting for someone and told her I was doing nothing, and she could come by and hang out and meet the dogs and the weird lizard they had, she accepted.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I definitely experienced a type of anxiety that you could taste.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came over, we ordered Italian food.
[SPEAKER_00]: She didn't even want to be seen by the delivery driver, and that was when I knew she had some intentions too.
[SPEAKER_00]: We ended up in front of the TV.
[SPEAKER_00]: She just snuggled right up to my chest.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even think thirty seconds went by.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we looked and started kissing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Apparently, she hasn't done this in five years, and she is really nervous.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was the best I'd ever had.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember it vividly.
[SPEAKER_00]: We ended up meeting about five more times over the course of the year.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would go to her house a few towns over, and she would make us a full dinner, we'd chat over wine, and we'd have such an amazing and fulfilling time.
[SPEAKER_00]: We both ended up dating other people but would stay in touch.
[SPEAKER_00]: We met up once again when we were single again.
[SPEAKER_00]: I still see her a couple of times a year when I visit for family barbecues and pool parties at my friend's house.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything is super cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: We still glance and nudge.
[SPEAKER_00]: We still hugged for way too long.
[SPEAKER_00]: No one has a clue.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story fourteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her daughter dumped me for a guy she didn't like, and I fell on hard times with my mom, so I would occasionally go over there to shower and eat something.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was in her forties, very thin, but had a very nice face, and was always very nice to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was a teen, always very complimentary to her, and thankful for her helping me out.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was helping me without her daughter's knowledge as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: One day, a goodbye hug got really long.
[SPEAKER_00]: She wouldn't let go, but she wasn't doing anything else.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just hanging on very tight.
[SPEAKER_00]: Being a team and because of our relationship, I developed an instant feeling.
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess she felt something and nestled closer.
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess her husband didn't really pay attention to her.
[SPEAKER_00]: We did our thing for a few hours as the house was empty.
[SPEAKER_00]: She must have been pent up.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was honestly surreal.
[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't set in for a few days.
[SPEAKER_00]: My ex and my friends were all intertwined.
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't tell anyone.
[SPEAKER_00]: And never have.
[SPEAKER_00]: It happened a few more times until I had my life in order.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it seemed like she was starting to regret cheating on her husband.
[SPEAKER_00]: It definitely made being dumped by my first girlfriend a lot easier to deal with.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story fifteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: A friend of mine slept with my sister and kept making a big deal about it when I honestly could have cared less.
[SPEAKER_00]: And his mom was always making offhand comments when I was around her.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I decided to go for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had him when she was seventeen.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were around nineteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: So she was an old and still looked pretty good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Came through one day knowing he wasn't there after flirting with her pretty hard for a few weeks and we immediately got into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was fun while it lasted, and I didn't stay friends with the guy for other reasons.
[SPEAKER_00]: But anytime he mentioned that he had been with my sister, I had the satisfaction of knowing his mom was extremely into me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story sixteen I needed a place to stay when I was eighteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: So my friend's mom said I could move in with them in rent a room.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone in the house tended to go to bed early except her and me.
[SPEAKER_00]: She liked to drink, and I like to game.
[SPEAKER_00]: One night, I was bored and went out to the garage where she was drinking and listening to music.
[SPEAKER_00]: We talked for a while and she asked if I wanted a drink.
[SPEAKER_00]: Heck yeah, I do.
[SPEAKER_00]: After I had a couple of shots of gold slager, she started with the, oh my neck is so stiff, I wish someone would rub it.
[SPEAKER_00]: With booze coursing through my veins, I jumped at the chance.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was forty-seven but looked like someone in her early twenties.
[SPEAKER_00]: After a few minutes, she commented on how wonderful it felt and asked if I'd do her back.
[SPEAKER_00]: I agreed without hesitation.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was done, I half jokingly asked if she needed the front done.
[SPEAKER_00]: She immediately said yes, I couldn't get a single word out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was stunned.
[SPEAKER_00]: She rolled over and after that, things escalated.
[SPEAKER_00]: It happened a few more times, always starting with her asking if I wanted a drink.
[SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, I put an end to it because I got back with my girlfriend, and I wasn't going to cheat on her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Once I stopped seeing the mom, she flipped out on me and evicted me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't able to ever tell my friend what happened while I lived there because he and his mom would get nasty when they fought.
[SPEAKER_00]: In those times, nothing was sacred.
[SPEAKER_00]: They would say whatever they could to hurt the other.
[SPEAKER_00]: After I moved out, he called me at MF one night, and I laughed until I was afraid I'd pass out.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I regained my composure, he asked what was so funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: I told him he wasn't a liar and told him what had happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: For thirty minutes, all he could say was, you're freaking kidding me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story Seventeen, I am very fortunate to have had a positive experience.
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew I wanted to get to know her more the moment I saw her, but this happens a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am sure you've seen someone on the street and thought of the things you'd like to do with them if you had the opportunity.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't say or do anything about it for months until I playfully invited her to see a movie with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a harmless thing to ask.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: We exchanged numbers and while texting, she sent the first flirty message.
[SPEAKER_00]: We stayed up all night texting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like I was dreaming.
[SPEAKER_00]: We met the following night and made out in her car.
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't believe how quickly things were escalating, but she admitted how she felt about me for the past few months as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right down to being attracted to my voice.
[SPEAKER_00]: We had some good time in her car the same night.
[SPEAKER_00]: Two days later, she booked a hotel and we did it for the first time.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was incredible.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am very sorry to anyone who stays in that room.
[SPEAKER_00]: This went on almost once a week for over a year.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was the best time of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I grew so much as a person.
[SPEAKER_00]: All my regrets and mistakes I ever made were washed away.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything I ever did or happened to me didn't matter anymore because it somehow led me to her in this life in this timeline.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wish I had met her sooner before she wound up in a crappy marriage, but I know that's impossible.
[SPEAKER_00]: I loved her and still do.
[SPEAKER_00]: We stopped because she needed to focus on her role in her son's life as his mother.
[SPEAKER_00]: She wasn't young like me.
[SPEAKER_00]: She couldn't just live like that at that stage anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can imagine how much torture it is to be trapped in a loveless marriage.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story eight.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did it with an ex-girlfriend's mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: She broke up with me, and a couple of weeks later, I ran into her mom in the grocery store.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her mom commented that she missed me being around, and I said I missed her too.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was a pretty cool mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: She told me that her divorce had been finalized.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her sister was going to move in, and some other small talk-type stuff that we both shared as we walked around the store.
[SPEAKER_00]: I helped her put her groceries in her car, and she hugged me.
[SPEAKER_00]: She told me I should come over sometime and see her new paintings.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was an artist.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went over a week or so later, and she served me some wine, and basically flirted me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And well, we ended up having some good time.
[SPEAKER_00]: We saw each other for over a year, and then she moved.
[SPEAKER_00]: I miss her sometimes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story nineteen I was eighteen and my girlfriend and I went to the zoo with her mom and my girlfriend ended up throwing some kind of temper tantrum since her mother drove it was an awkward car ride home.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't even talk to her and I looked over and she was giving me a death stare and said do you want to break up?
[SPEAKER_00]: I sat there for a second and her mom said she was going to drop her and my girlfriend off and drive me the rest of the way home.
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, yeah, yeah, I do.
[SPEAKER_00]: She dropped her daughter off and drove me home.
[SPEAKER_00]: I joked that my plan to get to reveal her daughter had worked.
[SPEAKER_00]: She laughed at that and said, I'd be lost and have no idea what to do with her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I blushed so hard at that and she saw it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It took me a few minutes to gather my thoughts, and I figured, screw it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am going to flirt.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was a recently divorced woman who may have been lonely, who knows, so I made a flirty comment about her looking fitter every time I came over.
[SPEAKER_00]: We got back to my house, my parents weren't there, and she had joked about taking the day off to come and use my pool.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I used that and said, it's a great night for swimming.
[SPEAKER_00]: I fully expected her to just laugh and tell me to get out.
[SPEAKER_00]: But she said okay, and there I was with my now ex-girlfriend's mother in my pool.
[SPEAKER_00]: The following weekend, my now ex went to her dad's for the weekend, and I stayed the weekend with her mother, and we messed around.
[SPEAKER_00]: It went on for a few weeks more, but she broke it off when her daughter started suspecting it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't regret it, and we both had a lot of fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went from a known screw up to the guy with his stuff together, at least in my town.
[SPEAKER_00]: I graduated, joined the military, got out, and started a business.
[SPEAKER_00]: After my business stabilized a few months ago, I went home and visited an old high school friend who was mooching off of his mom, just like his dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, the friend invited me over for dinner, but I showed up early, and he ended up flaking.
[SPEAKER_00]: So his mom, dad, and I had dinner together.
[SPEAKER_00]: It got pretty tense because Dad didn't like me too much.
[SPEAKER_00]: He thought I was home just to show off my new life, and he didn't care to hear about it at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: But she wouldn't stop asking me about it, causing him to get super annoyed and leave.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our conversation carried on into the evening, and my friend finally stumbled in, clearly drunk.
[SPEAKER_00]: His mom just looked embarrassed and disappointed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I took him up to his room and tucked him into bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I came downstairs, she hugged me, telling me how proud of me she was, and that watching me turn out like this was heartwarming.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was the first person to say anything of the sort, since to my parents I am still a screw up.
[SPEAKER_00]: While hugging my lips touched her neck, and she squeezed me closer.
[SPEAKER_00]: From there, you can all figure out what happened next.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was still home for a few more days after that, and since my parents didn't appreciate my presence, I stayed with them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Interestingly enough, staying with them made the dad warm up to me, as of now no one else knows except my business partner.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-one My buddy's mom had recently gotten divorced, and I went to his house looking for him so we could go play baseball.
[SPEAKER_00]: He had already left, but she invited me in anyway.
[SPEAKER_00]: Things escalated quickly.
[SPEAKER_00]: The other one was a woman I worked with.
[SPEAKER_00]: She asked if I wanted to go out for drinks one night, and I had a fake ID so I went for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: We went back to her place and did the deed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I woke up the next morning to her making breakfast, went into the kitchen to see her, and her two kids were sitting at the kitchen table.
[SPEAKER_00]: I recognized them instantly.
[SPEAKER_00]: I previously dated her daughter in college, and I played football with her son.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had no idea how old she was when I went out with her, and I didn't know her kids were older.
[SPEAKER_00]: story twenty two.
[SPEAKER_00]: Stephanie was always too young for me, growing up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was twenty two, she was eighteen, it could never work.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember her mother always telling me she has the biggest crush on you and wanting to take pictures together whenever we were with a group of people.
[SPEAKER_00]: For the most part, it was pretty obvious, always smiling around me, hugging me, telling me she loved my cologne, but it was still cute.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was just too young for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: One night I was getting out of work, and my friends asked me to meet at the local hangout, so I headed over.
[SPEAKER_00]: There was some kind of celebration or something going on in the dining area, because Stephanie, now nineteen and a bunch of her friends were all dressed in more upscale dinner attire than the restaurant requires.
[SPEAKER_00]: I walked past the party and met up with my friends, some of whom were bartending in the other room.
[SPEAKER_00]: When the party was over, some of the parents came into the bar area to hang out and celebrate some more, while most of their kids Stephanie included drove other girls home.
[SPEAKER_00]: I always got along with Stephanie's mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: Diane was definitely a fun mom and way more laid back and casual than some of the other parents.
[SPEAKER_00]: By the time we started talking, I could tell that she was a little buzzed as was I.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were catching up about what I was doing, what Stephanie was doing, college-wise, etc.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my best friend, Jeff, excused himself from our circle to use the bathroom.
[SPEAKER_00]: Diane turned to me and whispered in my ear, we should totally mess with him when he comes back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Intrigued, I replied, and how do you say we do that?
[SPEAKER_00]: She started to talk, chuckled a little bit, then finally spit it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: When he comes out, you should just kiss me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I laughed out loud for a couple of seconds until I realized that she was completely serious.
[SPEAKER_00]: Screw it, why not?
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, and we kept our conversation somewhat casual for the next few minutes.
[SPEAKER_00]: As Jeff walked out of the bathroom and started heading back towards the bar, Diane looked at me and said, quietly, you ready?
[SPEAKER_00]: I smirked and nodded.
[SPEAKER_00]: She then grabbed my face and planted one on me.
[SPEAKER_00]: After a couple of seconds, I tried pulling my head back, but she didn't want to stop.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone in our group now stopped to look, but Jeff stood there, stunned.
[SPEAKER_00]: What the heck was that he said in a jokingly confused manner?
[SPEAKER_00]: What?
[SPEAKER_00]: He's hot, she said, still hugging me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just shrugged and smiled.
[SPEAKER_00]: Once the moment was over, Diane headed to the end of the bar to talk with my friend Paul, who was bartending.
[SPEAKER_00]: My other friend Stephen was already down there talking to him.
[SPEAKER_00]: Diane went to the bathroom shortly after, so I went to say hello to Stephen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Dude, who is she?
[SPEAKER_00]: He asked me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Long story man, I cracked back.
[SPEAKER_00]: He said to me, this woman comes over here and just starts saying, I just made out with that guy over there, then goes, I am totally gonna bang him tonight.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't read anything into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: There were easily two decades separating us, and her daughter liked me, she would never do anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Knowing that, at least that's what I thought.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came back and asked for a light for her cigarette, which nobody had.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said she had one in her minivan, so she asked if I'd take a walk with her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw Stephen and Paul smirking out of the corner of my eye, so we walked out the back door to the parking lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: Once we turned the corner of the restaurant, she held me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I take it we're not messing with Jeff anymore, I joked.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, sweetie, we're not," she said, and kissed me.
[SPEAKER_00]: She opened the door and started pushing me into the back seat, and well it happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: After we were done, she said, you know Stephanie would end me if she ever found out, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, well, I can keep a secret if you can.
[SPEAKER_00]: The next morning, I got a text from an unrecognized number.
[SPEAKER_00]: Zach, who's this?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's Stephanie's mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to make sure it was you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is everything okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: Stephanie's card didn't start, so she took the minivan to school.
[SPEAKER_00]: She asked why there was an open gold magnum wrapper in the back seat.
[SPEAKER_00]: I figured it was best not to answer that one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-three.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did it with my best friend's mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: I needed a place to stay, so I rented my best friend's room while he was away.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was a very good tenant.
[SPEAKER_00]: I always paid his rent on time, kept the house clean, and helped out with the mine jobs around the house.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was about six weeks after I moved in when I was having different thoughts about her.
[SPEAKER_00]: My demeanor changed, my sentences were short, and I couldn't keep eye contact.
[SPEAKER_00]: She started to make rescade double on Tondras, and I would get visibly red.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had divorced her husband, and never really found time to start another relationship, so the thought kind of got her in the mood, I guess.
[SPEAKER_00]: So one night, when I came home late from a party, a little tipsy, she let me know she knew.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was quite embarrassed at first, but she told me it was right and asked me to lie down.
[SPEAKER_00]: What are you doing I asked?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I am doing, she answered.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then she proceeded to give me the best of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-four.
[SPEAKER_00]: I dated this girl in college, but it didn't work out.
[SPEAKER_00]: A couple of years later, we started talking again and became friends, which means I was still trying to bang her, but with no luck.
[SPEAKER_00]: One day, she ghosted me when we were supposed to hang out.
[SPEAKER_00]: She called me later and asked me to come over again.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I got there, she was an emotional wreck.
[SPEAKER_00]: Turns out, she was hanging out with her best friend's dad, and they wound up doing some things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why she was hanging out with her friend's dad?
[SPEAKER_00]: I will never know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her friend found out and called her a names and ended their friendship.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought it was a pretty crappy thing to do, plus I was pissed off about some old guy got to do it with the girl I was trying to get close to myself, so I just let our friendship die off.
[SPEAKER_00]: That was more than twenty years ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't miss her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-five.
[SPEAKER_00]: We didn't sleep together because I stopped myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was eighteen and it was my very hot ant by marriage who was my uncle's wife and my mom's good friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: I visited her sometimes when the uncle wasn't around because she was the cool aunt who was always telling me, hey stop by anytime and use my place like a crash pad during the day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Bring your girlfriend if I am not around and do whatever you guys do.
[SPEAKER_00]: I will give you a key.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know me, I am cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: I found out just how cool she was.
[SPEAKER_00]: I stopped by one day and she was drinking a bit and she made a little joke about me being a big boy and then kind of flirted.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was confused at first but was also really into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: She laughed and we started to get into it, but she pushed me back slightly and told me to slow down because we had time.
[SPEAKER_00]: That snapped me out of it enough to make me realize that if I did this, at some point she was going to be pissed off at my uncle and let it slip as a screw you to him.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was eventually going to have to deal with my uncle and cousin and mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was not worth it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I noped out of there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-six.
[SPEAKER_00]: A friend's mom happens to be decent friends with my mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: She would come around the house before or after she and my mom would go out.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's also pretty well known that she can get out of control when she drinks.
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing crazy, but she would be more flirty, aggressive and outspoken.
[SPEAKER_00]: Typical drunk stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: One night, they both came home pretty turned up.
[SPEAKER_00]: As my mom would leave the room to grab drinks, her friend would ask me questions like, how many girls I'd been with, do I like it and such?
[SPEAKER_00]: I was past my naive years and saw where this was going.
[SPEAKER_00]: I always thought she was attractive and all the talk had me excited already, so I kind of asked her.
[SPEAKER_00]: She then said something along the lines of, if it were anyone else, I would
[SPEAKER_00]: It turns out it didn't matter because I waited until we had all gone to bed and snuck my way to where she was sleeping, aka the living room couch.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had some quick but amazing time and life went on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for watching.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you enjoyed this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up, subscribe, and hit the bell icon so you never miss an update.