WEBVTT 00:02.397 --> 00:05.299 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey everyone, welcome back to The Christian Parenting Podcast. 00:05.399 --> 00:06.921 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad that you're with me today. 00:06.941 --> 00:12.665 [SPEAKER_00]: I am joined by Emma, Mae McDaniel, and she is a speaker, a writer, and she is just such an encouragement. 00:12.725 --> 00:14.447 [SPEAKER_00]: I think you're really going to love her. 00:14.947 --> 00:21.292 [SPEAKER_00]: She shares her really powerful story of finding her identity in Christ in the midst of really painful cyberbullying as a teen. 00:21.953 --> 00:28.378 [SPEAKER_00]: And how that experience shaped her ministry today, it is amazing how God uses everything in our lives for His glory. 00:28.938 --> 00:38.867 [SPEAKER_00]: So we talk about helping our kids build a faith that's truly their own, giving them the tools to navigate hurt with truth and grace, and the daily habits that keep us grounded in his word. 00:39.708 --> 00:43.811 [SPEAKER_00]: Emma's latest book is called The Girl in the Middle, and it covers all these topics and more. 00:43.851 --> 00:47.435 [SPEAKER_00]: So I have a link to that and show notes for you to check out at the end of this episode. 00:47.455 --> 00:49.557 [SPEAKER_00]: I think you're gonna love listening to Emma. 00:49.637 --> 00:53.120 [SPEAKER_00]: Her wisdom is both practical and inspiring, and I just can't wait to hear it. 00:58.644 --> 00:59.545 [SPEAKER_00]: Hello, Emma May. 00:59.605 --> 01:01.467 [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Christian Parenting podcast. 01:02.008 --> 01:03.069 [SPEAKER_00]: It's so nice to see. 01:03.229 --> 01:04.911 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so grateful to be here. 01:05.151 --> 01:05.472 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 01:05.532 --> 01:07.894 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really glad that you took time out of your day to be here. 01:07.995 --> 01:13.541 [SPEAKER_00]: So I like to just jump right into getting to know you a little bit and then we'll get into the good stuff too. 01:13.561 --> 01:15.683 [SPEAKER_00]: But start by introducing yourself. 01:15.723 --> 01:16.444 [SPEAKER_00]: Tell us what you do. 01:16.524 --> 01:17.245 [SPEAKER_00]: Tell us about yourself. 01:17.285 --> 01:19.047 [SPEAKER_00]: Tell us about your family to the good stuff. 01:19.227 --> 01:20.708 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I love the good stuff. 01:20.908 --> 01:24.531 [SPEAKER_01]: Just my name is Emma or Emma May as many people call me. 01:25.011 --> 01:34.538 [SPEAKER_01]: I live in Arkansas and I've been married to my incredible husband who is also my best friend and teammate for life and we've been married for four years. 01:35.318 --> 01:41.520 [SPEAKER_01]: And if we have a two year old little girl, Margo, she's the sweetest gift. 01:41.800 --> 01:49.622 [SPEAKER_01]: We are in a season where I am getting to just discover more and more of the unique personality that God has given her, which is such a sweet joy. 01:49.662 --> 01:57.145 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm sure as she grows, I will be in that stage forever where I just could continue to learn in such a special, honorable seat. 01:57.845 --> 02:01.686 [SPEAKER_01]: but rose seat of who got his call to be and I get to help foster that. 02:02.126 --> 02:06.647 [SPEAKER_01]: When we have a dog named Remy, he's our golden retriever and I am in an industry. 02:06.687 --> 02:07.447 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I do. 02:07.687 --> 02:12.008 [SPEAKER_01]: I am a writer and a teacher of God's Word and it is a joy. 02:12.628 --> 02:15.729 [SPEAKER_01]: Unexpectedly, when I was twelve, I thought I was going to be a baker. 02:15.969 --> 02:24.931 [SPEAKER_01]: I thought cupcakes and cookies were my calling and I unexpectedly saw the word open up doors for me to teach his word. 02:25.351 --> 02:31.592 [SPEAKER_01]: through writing books, through podcast, through traveling to meet with students and women, out of very young age. 02:31.812 --> 02:36.733 [SPEAKER_01]: And as I walked in obedience, he continued to affirm and he continued to guide and provide. 02:37.134 --> 02:40.114 [SPEAKER_01]: And so for many years, that's what I have been doing. 02:40.134 --> 02:42.655 [SPEAKER_01]: And now I get to do it with my family. 02:43.015 --> 02:48.316 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's sweet how in every season of my life I've seen the Lord continue to provide as I get to 02:48.996 --> 02:55.521 [SPEAKER_01]: just teaches word and help equip people to not only know his word, but boldly live it out in their everyday. 02:55.781 --> 02:57.202 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm so, so grateful. 02:57.222 --> 02:58.102 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that. 02:58.262 --> 02:59.383 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you still bake them? 02:59.403 --> 02:59.623 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 02:59.864 --> 03:00.564 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely. 03:05.359 --> 03:06.220 [SPEAKER_01]: Now I get to do it at home. 03:06.260 --> 03:07.200 [SPEAKER_01]: I get to do for friends. 03:07.601 --> 03:17.146 [SPEAKER_01]: I once had a friend who she told me this quote that was told to her by someone and it was those who work with their hands. 03:17.426 --> 03:21.528 [SPEAKER_01]: They rest most productively with their minds and vice versa. 03:21.568 --> 03:25.831 [SPEAKER_01]: Those who work with their minds rest the most effectively with their hands and 03:26.491 --> 03:33.114 [SPEAKER_01]: I, as I, like over the last couple years, have been really trying to prioritize what rest looks like in my day to day. 03:33.734 --> 03:40.216 [SPEAKER_01]: I have come to find, wow, I work so much with my mind as I'm sitting and studying and writing and preparing. 03:40.697 --> 03:43.978 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I've learned that I love water coloring. 03:44.118 --> 03:45.078 [SPEAKER_01]: I love painting. 03:45.258 --> 03:46.639 [SPEAKER_01]: I love going out on walks. 03:46.819 --> 03:48.900 [SPEAKER_01]: And I still love baking. 03:48.940 --> 03:54.162 [SPEAKER_01]: So baking is one of those things that whenever I go in the kitchen and I'm working with my hands, 03:54.862 --> 03:57.483 [SPEAKER_01]: make something yummy and beautiful like it to share. 03:57.503 --> 03:59.744 [SPEAKER_01]: It actually is really restful for me. 03:59.764 --> 04:02.204 [SPEAKER_01]: So I definitely still do it all the time. 04:02.224 --> 04:06.306 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really interesting and something I haven't really thought about, but such a great point. 04:06.326 --> 04:07.066 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I did the same. 04:07.106 --> 04:08.066 [SPEAKER_00]: I do so much writing. 04:08.086 --> 04:11.747 [SPEAKER_00]: I do so much podcasting all like so many of the same things. 04:11.867 --> 04:14.508 [SPEAKER_00]: And I love making certain minerals. 04:14.828 --> 04:16.169 [SPEAKER_00]: I like a love a good project. 04:16.829 --> 04:43.670 [SPEAKER_00]: love painting like I love crafting all the things my daughters are dancing like let's rhinestone all the costumes like all of that stuff and it is a restful where some people would not find it to be that yes that's so sweet I love that you've experienced that too because I have I've come to find her quote actually carried out in my life yeah that's something for people to think about like what is it that you find resting because doesn't have to be just sitting and doing nothing right about that's good to sometimes 04:44.798 --> 04:46.360 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I do that as well. 04:47.161 --> 04:48.423 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, a hundred present. 04:48.503 --> 04:50.145 [SPEAKER_00]: Something like, okay guys, I'm out. 04:50.346 --> 04:52.949 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm on the couch now in that's where I live for the rest of the night. 04:53.009 --> 04:53.330 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 04:54.010 --> 04:54.231 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 04:54.551 --> 04:54.751 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 04:55.505 --> 04:56.325 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay. 04:56.365 --> 04:59.446 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I want to get into a little bit more of your story. 04:59.806 --> 05:02.707 [SPEAKER_00]: So can you just let's start by sharing that a little bit? 05:02.727 --> 05:06.828 [SPEAKER_00]: Can you share kind of like that middle moment that inspired your new book? 05:07.208 --> 05:10.189 [SPEAKER_00]: The girl in the middle and just kind of your journey tells about that. 05:10.429 --> 05:11.069 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely. 05:11.349 --> 05:15.990 [SPEAKER_01]: Kind of what I was speaking into a little bit a moment ago that when I was twelve 05:16.370 --> 05:26.638 [SPEAKER_01]: thought I was going to open up a bakery and then it didn't take long until I realized well, I think that the Lord is already making clear what He's calling me to do because it did happen very quickly. 05:26.738 --> 05:29.280 [SPEAKER_01]: So when I was in eighth grade, I was fourteen. 05:29.761 --> 05:31.542 [SPEAKER_01]: I gave my life to the Lord and I 05:33.283 --> 05:36.324 [SPEAKER_01]: When you know him, you just want to make him known. 05:36.584 --> 05:38.504 [SPEAKER_01]: You can't keep it to yourself. 05:38.704 --> 05:41.185 [SPEAKER_01]: It's his life and you truly does bubble over. 05:41.385 --> 05:54.288 [SPEAKER_01]: So, along with sharing who he was and what I was learning in his word, because I was in his word every day, taking little note cards and writing verses that were coordinating with whatever I put it near in my room. 05:54.328 --> 05:55.928 [SPEAKER_01]: So, for example, I would 05:56.528 --> 06:00.170 [SPEAKER_01]: to memorize the word is a lamp to my feet and I'd like to my path. 06:00.250 --> 06:12.857 [SPEAKER_01]: I would write that on a sticky note and I'd tape it to my lamp on my bedside table or I would write down peace, I lie down and sleep and safe because you alone learn make me dwell on safety and I would take that to my bed. 06:13.537 --> 06:15.478 [SPEAKER_01]: I just had scripture all over my room. 06:15.538 --> 06:20.179 [SPEAKER_01]: I was just immersing myself in the word because I wanted to know, God, who are you? 06:20.539 --> 06:21.579 [SPEAKER_01]: Who do you say I am? 06:21.619 --> 06:28.361 [SPEAKER_01]: I've heard your stories on my life as I've grown up in great, fully, a godly home, but this is personal. 06:28.821 --> 06:30.342 [SPEAKER_01]: And I want to know you personally. 06:30.542 --> 06:33.783 [SPEAKER_01]: And so as I was sharing everything I was learning with my peers and 06:34.243 --> 06:38.084 [SPEAKER_01]: My family members and strangers I would run into in the grocery store. 06:38.744 --> 06:45.685 [SPEAKER_01]: I also had social media and this was before this was the really I guess did go of social media. 06:45.825 --> 06:51.986 [SPEAKER_01]: It was only Instagram was probably two years old and I had it because I grew up moving all the time. 06:52.266 --> 06:58.367 [SPEAKER_01]: So my mom works with Walmart and that is why we ended up in Arkansas when I was in high school. 06:58.767 --> 07:02.228 [SPEAKER_01]: But her job moved guys all over whenever I was growing up. 07:02.708 --> 07:12.673 [SPEAKER_01]: And so my parents decided, hey, like you and your brother, like you can have social media so that you can stay in touch with your friends when we leave them behind every move. 07:13.013 --> 07:22.198 [SPEAKER_01]: So in my mind, I was like, I don't know when I'm gonna see my friends again in person, what a great way to tell them about Jesus who has changed my life and encouraged them in the truth. 07:22.418 --> 07:29.402 [SPEAKER_01]: And so as I would write out these long captions about who he is and who you are in him, I discovered, wow. 07:30.555 --> 07:32.876 [SPEAKER_01]: I love encouraging people. 07:33.517 --> 07:37.999 [SPEAKER_01]: I love not only sharing God's word, but I love helping people understand it. 07:38.259 --> 07:40.681 [SPEAKER_01]: And I did that for about two or three years. 07:40.921 --> 07:44.383 [SPEAKER_01]: So fast forward to, I'm now a sophomore in high school. 07:44.463 --> 07:47.184 [SPEAKER_01]: We've now moved to Arkansas with all the moves. 07:47.464 --> 07:50.246 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm originally from Westminster, Louisiana. 07:50.726 --> 07:52.507 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's where my parents grew up. 07:52.707 --> 07:54.288 [SPEAKER_01]: I was born, grew up for a little while. 07:54.749 --> 08:01.913 [SPEAKER_01]: And so the Robertson family from Duck Dynasty are actually some dear family friends of ours, like before the show was even a thing. 08:02.333 --> 08:09.838 [SPEAKER_01]: And so over Thanksgiving, my sophomore year of high school, we went back to West Monroe and to got to see family, got to see friends. 08:10.538 --> 08:15.220 [SPEAKER_01]: And I got frozen yogurt with Sadie who we were really good friends. 08:15.300 --> 08:20.562 [SPEAKER_01]: We are really good friends and Mary Kate and some other girls that we were all together. 08:21.702 --> 08:28.385 [SPEAKER_01]: And as teenage girls do, we after finished our frozen yogurt, we stood in front of the shop and took a picture. 08:28.885 --> 08:30.246 [SPEAKER_01]: and Sadie was on one side. 08:30.606 --> 08:32.888 [SPEAKER_01]: Mary Kate was on the other and I stood in the middle. 08:33.228 --> 08:41.114 [SPEAKER_01]: We took the picture and then hopped in the car and Sadie was also in high school at the time and she played basketball at the local high school. 08:41.374 --> 08:46.258 [SPEAKER_01]: So we were on our way to Sadie's basketball game and on our way Sadie posts the picture. 08:46.578 --> 08:51.462 [SPEAKER_01]: We get to the basketball game, I'm sitting in the bleachers and all of a sudden my phone is going crazy. 08:51.782 --> 08:58.448 [SPEAKER_01]: Which wasn't super surprising because Sadie, that the TV show was a big deal at that point. 08:58.528 --> 09:00.470 [SPEAKER_01]: She was on dancing with the stars. 09:00.610 --> 09:02.472 [SPEAKER_01]: So I mean, it wasn't a shocker. 09:03.192 --> 09:09.058 [SPEAKER_01]: But when I went to look at my phone to see what the notifications were about, this is what my middle moment was. 09:09.498 --> 09:13.562 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm sitting in the bleachers and I looked down at my phone and I see the comment. 09:14.002 --> 09:16.144 [SPEAKER_01]: Who is that ugly girl in the middle? 09:16.504 --> 09:28.052 [SPEAKER_01]: And from that comment, hundreds followed where boys and girls alike were commenting on what they thought I looked like, how they thought I looked, boys talking about how they would never be with someone like me. 09:28.212 --> 09:32.295 [SPEAKER_01]: It was like a laughing stock, a joke of my smile and my parents. 09:32.535 --> 09:37.018 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm sitting in the bleachers getting texts from my parents who are at my grandma's house. 09:37.458 --> 09:44.342 [SPEAKER_01]: down the road, checking in on me, how are you doing, which that's a whole other story of how my parents were feeling in that moment. 09:45.163 --> 09:47.384 [SPEAKER_01]: And checking in on me, how are you doing? 09:47.584 --> 09:51.947 [SPEAKER_01]: And I say that this is a middle moment, let me be in clarity to what I mean by that. 09:52.427 --> 09:56.670 [SPEAKER_01]: Because as I sat there, I stood in the middle of a decision to make. 09:57.050 --> 10:03.255 [SPEAKER_01]: In that moment, I could either, as Romans twelve tells us, conform to the patterns of this world. 10:03.436 --> 10:07.319 [SPEAKER_01]: I could try and fit the mold that all of these people were wanting me to fit. 10:07.519 --> 10:09.120 [SPEAKER_01]: I could not smile so big. 10:09.761 --> 10:12.904 [SPEAKER_01]: I could hide the joy I knew got it undeniably given me. 10:13.264 --> 10:19.850 [SPEAKER_01]: I could quiet down about just the excitement that I had to be myself for. 10:21.131 --> 10:25.115 [SPEAKER_01]: I could be confident in my relationship with him and how he made me. 10:25.435 --> 10:31.481 [SPEAKER_01]: And things later down the road, I didn't know this was coming, but this was the starting point of years of bullying that would continue. 10:31.501 --> 10:35.846 [SPEAKER_01]: That went beyond just what my appearance was, but started to be about my faith. 10:36.386 --> 10:54.811 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it was going to get deeper, but in that moment I had a decision and it was so cool because I remember so vividly one of the quotes that I had taped to my bedroom wall and it was talking about how I do not fear the world because I'm not of the world I am his. 10:55.111 --> 11:03.059 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not sitting here saying that my sixteen year old self wasn't hurt by all of the insanely scrutinizing things that were said towards me. 11:03.499 --> 11:09.926 [SPEAKER_01]: But I am saying that I experience the peace that surpasses all understanding in that moment. 11:10.326 --> 11:12.867 [SPEAKER_01]: That was as it followed a moment by moment. 11:12.887 --> 11:14.488 [SPEAKER_01]: It wasn't just a one-time decision. 11:14.848 --> 11:18.950 [SPEAKER_01]: But in that moment, I genuinely trusted that God was who he said he was. 11:19.190 --> 11:22.812 [SPEAKER_01]: And that he was worth following that his word was worth trusting. 11:23.032 --> 11:27.054 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I tended to fast forward as that gets into my story. 11:27.594 --> 11:31.436 [SPEAKER_01]: As I said earlier, that kick started cyber bullying for me. 11:32.436 --> 11:35.317 [SPEAKER_01]: I woke up the next morning to thousands of more followers. 11:35.677 --> 11:43.580 [SPEAKER_01]: And as the years went on and I discovered wow, as I stepped into middle moment after middle moment of choosing to conform to the world or trust what God said. 11:44.020 --> 11:49.962 [SPEAKER_01]: And I kept trusting what God said, not perfectly, but he protected me and he kept me and he gave me what I needed. 11:50.622 --> 11:52.142 [SPEAKER_01]: He continued to open doors. 11:52.202 --> 12:00.765 [SPEAKER_01]: And so the majority of the platform, if you will, that I have now came from what the enemy intended to plant season security. 12:01.185 --> 12:17.569 [SPEAKER_01]: what people intended to quiet down got actually intended for good and for something bigger than me because whether people started coming to my page to get a good laugh or see who the girl in the middle was, they were coming and now over the years thousands of people because of it have heard the gospel. 12:17.769 --> 12:21.970 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that's how I got into ministry and baking was rerouted. 12:26.537 --> 12:29.020 [SPEAKER_00]: baking was rerouted to just blessing people at home. 12:29.040 --> 12:42.257 [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, and that's just such a powerful story and it's such a real story and I think I want to get into how your faith because that obviously is so important and it's just what kids need to grasp on to when they're going to do some of this stuff, but let's 12:42.617 --> 13:08.264 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to kind of clarify a little bit what this cyberbullying can look like because I feel like it's hard for parents to understand sometimes like I you talked about how you Instagram was like two years old when you got it so I am almost forty so Facebook came out when I was a freshman in college you had to have a college email address and only some colleges were part of it like my space was the thing I think 13:08.864 --> 13:14.970 [SPEAKER_00]: My first Instagram post was literally at the hospital after I just had my son because I wanted the filter. 13:15.310 --> 13:15.671 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow. 13:17.012 --> 13:28.182 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, hey, so many of us don't, I mean, like, we know that cyber bullying is a thing with social media, but we can't really, we don't have the firsthand experience of what that can look like and how that can affect a tween or a teen. 13:28.262 --> 13:32.226 [SPEAKER_00]: So give us just like a little bit of that and then people go from there. 13:32.486 --> 13:56.993 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I think that there was a different it was when I sat there it was a different season of cyber bullying because it was again social media was so new and so I don't think that there were as many restrictions as there can be now where like there's blocking and restrictions that can be made but it is one of those things where I feel like this doesn't ever go away but whenever you are a 13:57.933 --> 14:05.457 [SPEAKER_01]: middle school or high school or you are in such a moldable place where you are really searching who am I? 14:06.217 --> 14:07.117 [SPEAKER_01]: Where do I belong? 14:07.478 --> 14:08.818 [SPEAKER_01]: How can I be confident? 14:09.238 --> 14:10.839 [SPEAKER_01]: How can I be secure? 14:11.479 --> 14:18.263 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's very easy to look for that in what people say about you and what people's opinions are of you. 14:18.703 --> 14:24.806 [SPEAKER_01]: And whenever you have access to so many people's opinions, that's such a new concept. 14:25.326 --> 14:54.197 [SPEAKER_01]: where when you're sitting by yourself you can hear what so many people think about you and there is also now a lack of confrontation so people can hide behind a screen and say something without actually dealing with the repercussions of you having to like navigate that person's response you can say it and put your phone down and forget that there's another person on the screen and I think because there is that lack of 14:54.797 --> 14:58.501 [SPEAKER_01]: personal that just that personal conversation element. 14:58.981 --> 15:03.826 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that it causes people to be a lot more brutal because they're not compassionate. 15:03.846 --> 15:05.608 [SPEAKER_01]: They're not considered at a person's heart. 15:05.748 --> 15:14.858 [SPEAKER_01]: And so to sit there and hear what people think about your eyebrows and what people think about your smile and what people think about your hair and then go on further what people think about 15:15.303 --> 15:22.988 [SPEAKER_01]: like whether or not you're date worthy, what people think about, whether or not they'd be your friend, what people think about, what you believe and how you believe it. 15:23.088 --> 15:41.841 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't know who you are, if you don't have a solid community around you will easily be on a roller coaster of trying to find security that we were all made for, but find yourself exhausted and more depleted because that's not how you find it. 15:42.061 --> 15:44.623 [SPEAKER_01]: We're not meant to find it in the opinions of people. 15:45.048 --> 15:49.629 [SPEAKER_01]: But I think social media can, I love social media in so many ways. 15:50.009 --> 16:00.352 [SPEAKER_01]: But social media can be if you're looking for your validation there, it can be an endless cycle of you searching for your identity and not being able to find it. 16:00.553 --> 16:00.833 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 16:01.273 --> 16:03.253 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like my kids don't have social media. 16:03.533 --> 16:04.894 [SPEAKER_00]: It's very easy for me now. 16:04.914 --> 16:05.754 [SPEAKER_00]: My oldest is thirteen. 16:05.774 --> 16:08.395 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really easy for me to be like, not taller, sixteen or eighteen. 16:09.185 --> 16:32.250 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we're, we're not, we are holding it off for sure because of what you just said, if it even, they, they have phones and even on his phone, like I read every single text message and the reason I do that isn't like necessarily the monitor, but like that's how they communicate now and I'm, I'm like as a parent, my job is to teach you how to communicate with people and like this is an example where you did really great. 16:32.430 --> 16:38.552 [SPEAKER_00]: And this is like, would you have said this to that person's face or like, we don't use that word or, you know, like, you have to teach them. 16:39.372 --> 16:45.794 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just a different world than we grew up in, because when I grew up, like, if I wanted to call someone, I had to go call their home phone and talk to their mom first. 16:48.335 --> 16:55.137 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, there's just so much more that we have to be looking out for and teaching them because it is so easy to hide behind a screen. 16:55.498 --> 16:59.579 [SPEAKER_00]: And then to get sucked up into it, I have to look this way and act this way. 16:59.799 --> 17:01.600 [SPEAKER_00]: And everyone else is doing it too. 17:01.740 --> 17:04.361 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just, we all know it's a lie, but they're little brains don't. 17:04.721 --> 17:05.301 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's scary. 17:06.398 --> 17:20.447 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so how tell us how how you found your identity in Christ through all this how that anchored you when you could have went and found your identity somewhere else like you said you could have pivoted and been like following what everyone was saying on social media. 17:20.768 --> 17:23.650 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, so I think it's so 17:25.574 --> 17:27.937 [SPEAKER_01]: beautiful and a gift. 17:28.337 --> 17:35.986 [SPEAKER_01]: So our motto when I was in middle school in high school as a family was someone that was the anthem of our home. 17:36.447 --> 17:40.792 [SPEAKER_01]: It was plastered on our souls because it was said every day in our home. 17:40.972 --> 17:49.496 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm gonna break it down because this is really what gave me sturdiness amid something that was so shaky and something that could have eaten. 17:49.656 --> 17:53.138 [SPEAKER_01]: We could have easily be having a very different conversation right now. 17:53.218 --> 17:56.199 [SPEAKER_01]: The narrative could have gone some very different ways. 17:56.779 --> 18:00.781 [SPEAKER_01]: And what I'm about to share is what was pivotal. 18:00.801 --> 18:04.123 [SPEAKER_01]: I, before I go into someone, I gave my life to the Lord. 18:04.203 --> 18:05.603 [SPEAKER_01]: My relationship was personal. 18:05.703 --> 18:09.085 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's just something I wanted to emphasize again before I got into this because 18:09.665 --> 18:11.085 [SPEAKER_01]: That is such a game changer. 18:11.205 --> 18:11.925 [SPEAKER_01]: It's different. 18:12.546 --> 18:15.006 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I have parents who love God. 18:15.026 --> 18:20.807 [SPEAKER_01]: I have a family that loves God, but my faith can't be their faith. 18:21.187 --> 18:23.988 [SPEAKER_01]: I could have only relied on what they said for so long. 18:24.368 --> 18:27.668 [SPEAKER_01]: It had to get real for me that this is my God. 18:28.049 --> 18:29.569 [SPEAKER_01]: This is what he says about me. 18:29.929 --> 18:35.190 [SPEAKER_01]: So when I'm by myself, when I'm in college and they're bullying, continuing in college, 18:35.710 --> 18:42.614 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm still relying on the word of God because I've chosen as for me in my house, my life, I'm serving him. 18:43.355 --> 18:55.883 [SPEAKER_01]: So that was also a pivotal, but someone, so someone is as blessed as the man who does not walk in the way of the wicked, who does not stand in the way that sinners take, who does not sit in the company of mockers. 18:56.143 --> 19:18.030 [SPEAKER_01]: What does he basically say there is that it matters who your community is, and this is not just for tweens and teens, but for parents too, I say this now, like as a parent myself and like years out of college, that community matters who you have in your circle, who you have speaking into your life, 19:18.710 --> 19:27.854 [SPEAKER_01]: It is, it is essential that you have people who are spurring you on and good deeds, who are reminding you of what's true, who are a safe place. 19:28.054 --> 19:42.361 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, for me in that time, I had friends who checked in on me, who reminded me of what was true, who spoke on my behalf, like they were speaking kind things on my behalf to people who were speaking hateful things, and I didn't even ask them to. 19:42.381 --> 19:47.063 [SPEAKER_01]: I had my parents who were constantly reminding me of the word, 19:47.757 --> 19:54.579 [SPEAKER_01]: were a safe place for me to be able to process and they continue to reroute my attention to what the Lord said. 19:54.639 --> 20:01.340 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, and if I had people around me who didn't do those things, again, that would have been a different narrative. 20:01.400 --> 20:04.801 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, who you hang out with, who your people are matters? 20:05.441 --> 20:11.603 [SPEAKER_01]: And then he continues on he says, and blessed is the man who delights in God's Word day and night. 20:12.003 --> 20:15.067 [SPEAKER_01]: who meditates on the law all the time. 20:15.427 --> 20:21.314 [SPEAKER_01]: For he will be like a tree that is planted by streams of water, his fruit will yield in season. 20:21.694 --> 20:26.039 [SPEAKER_01]: His leaves will never wither and everything that he does will prosper. 20:26.099 --> 20:29.583 [SPEAKER_01]: And he goes then on to talk about the difference between the wicked and the righteous. 20:30.183 --> 20:31.945 [SPEAKER_01]: And the word of God when 20:32.686 --> 20:35.629 [SPEAKER_01]: I said earlier, it's a lamp to your feet, it really is. 20:36.169 --> 20:39.812 [SPEAKER_01]: It gave me clarity when the opinions of people were so confusing. 20:40.193 --> 20:50.542 [SPEAKER_01]: Whenever Jesus says, here my word and do it, and you'll be like someone who built your house on the rock, and though those storm blows in your stand sturdy, it was true. 20:51.162 --> 20:55.326 [SPEAKER_01]: His faithful promises Psalm ninety one says are your armor and your protection. 20:55.686 --> 20:56.627 [SPEAKER_01]: It's true. 20:56.647 --> 20:59.569 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I remember sitting in the bleachers and 21:00.650 --> 21:05.032 [SPEAKER_01]: I get emotional when I think about it because his word is real. 21:05.052 --> 21:17.476 [SPEAKER_01]: His word is so authoritative and I remember sitting there first hand experiencing God, your word rains over any words that other people say. 21:17.496 --> 21:21.797 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm so thankful because like I said earlier, 21:22.895 --> 21:29.000 [SPEAKER_01]: or all craving that security, or all craving that clarity, that confidence of who am I? 21:29.420 --> 21:30.220 [SPEAKER_01]: Why am I here? 21:30.581 --> 21:31.461 [SPEAKER_01]: Where do I belong? 21:31.701 --> 21:34.223 [SPEAKER_01]: What was I made for? 21:34.443 --> 21:47.193 [SPEAKER_01]: And when you find him and you really trust truly start hiding his word in your heart, you can have a steadiness, you can be like a tree that's planted by streams of water. 21:47.293 --> 21:50.035 [SPEAKER_01]: So when drought or heat comes, you're not withering away. 21:50.536 --> 21:54.158 [SPEAKER_01]: you are continuing to be fruitful and it's not because of your own strength. 21:54.578 --> 21:57.279 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not because you're avoiding the hard comments. 21:57.319 --> 22:02.141 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not because you're not facing the hard realities of people expressing really mean things. 22:02.681 --> 22:05.042 [SPEAKER_01]: It's because you know something more authoritative. 22:05.463 --> 22:14.447 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, true that my personal relationship with him, having godly people around me and his word being hidden in my heart, gain changer. 22:14.467 --> 22:14.887 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 22:16.002 --> 22:32.793 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, talk to the parent who's listening right now, who maybe their kids are experiencing some cyber bullying or it's just something that they are trying to be aware of, like, what encouragement would you give them to help their child grow in their confidence and who they are in Christ? 22:32.813 --> 22:36.635 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I think, and we need made so clear that is what got you through this, right? 22:36.675 --> 22:39.237 [SPEAKER_00]: Like knowing who you are in Jesus got you through. 22:39.637 --> 22:41.980 [SPEAKER_00]: whatever anyone else said about who you are. 22:42.181 --> 22:47.428 [SPEAKER_00]: So how, how can parents, I remember you how did your parents like really help you make your faith your own? 22:47.488 --> 22:50.832 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I think we are so important to help our kids do that. 22:51.193 --> 22:52.775 [SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes you're like, I don't know where to start. 22:54.164 --> 22:56.305 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so a couple of things come to mind. 22:56.765 --> 23:10.733 [SPEAKER_01]: I remember whenever I gave my life to the Lord and this is one of the reasons why I think I leaned so much into the importance of a personal relationship is because the way my dad invited me to know the Lord, which is climactic for me. 23:11.334 --> 23:22.960 [SPEAKER_01]: I remember I was fourteen years old sitting on my bed and walking through so much anxiety and perfectionism and fear and had didn't remember a day that I 23:23.348 --> 23:26.349 [SPEAKER_01]: didn't love the word, but didn't, like, know him personally. 23:26.989 --> 23:31.470 [SPEAKER_01]: And my dad walks in and he's like, Emma, when was the last time you spent time alone with God in his word? 23:31.490 --> 23:34.191 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, you know, I actually couldn't tell you. 23:34.211 --> 23:39.772 [SPEAKER_01]: And he said, Emma, when Jesus comes back, I'm not going to be standing there with you holding your hand. 23:40.092 --> 23:41.633 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just going to be you and him. 23:41.653 --> 23:47.014 [SPEAKER_01]: And he's either going to say, well done, my good and faithful servant, or depart from me for I never knew you. 23:47.434 --> 23:53.538 [SPEAKER_01]: He's not going to have a list of boxes for you to check off of your attendance or how well you performed in things. 23:53.918 --> 23:55.760 [SPEAKER_01]: He's going to ask, do you know me? 23:56.120 --> 23:57.621 [SPEAKER_01]: And then my dad left the room. 23:58.853 --> 24:03.794 [SPEAKER_01]: And that was the night that I, I surrendered my whole being to the Lord. 24:04.194 --> 24:12.236 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think that's why it's so engraved in me that like, wow, it matters that you personally know him because my dad made that so clear. 24:12.256 --> 24:18.758 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think to something that my parents really honed in on throughout that season of my life. 24:19.138 --> 24:21.500 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm really grateful for it is two things. 24:21.780 --> 24:23.601 [SPEAKER_01]: One, they didn't pull me out of it. 24:24.001 --> 24:41.151 [SPEAKER_01]: And I can just imagine, like, I know my daughter's only two, but I can just only imagine, like, if I saw so many people adults, even commenting about my sixteen year old daughter, the things that were commented, my initial reaction is get her out. 24:42.272 --> 24:47.096 [SPEAKER_01]: stop it right now, like delete the Instagram account, let's just put a halt to it all. 24:47.676 --> 24:49.437 [SPEAKER_01]: And my parents didn't do that. 24:49.798 --> 24:55.322 [SPEAKER_01]: Instead, the second thing is they emphasized Ephesians six in our home. 24:55.682 --> 25:04.748 [SPEAKER_01]: And so during my high school years, I really became aware that, well, my battle is not against those people who are hating me, who are mocking me, who are bullying me. 25:05.249 --> 25:07.911 [SPEAKER_01]: My battle is against a real enemy. 25:08.291 --> 25:17.013 [SPEAKER_01]: who doesn't want God to be glorified, who doesn't want souls to be saved, who doesn't want me to operate in my giftings and continue proclaiming the gospel. 25:17.193 --> 25:29.656 [SPEAKER_01]: And my parents doing that I'm so grateful because no it wasn't easy, but I think them helping me steer away from the temptation to keep reading what people were saying and them honing in on 25:30.476 --> 25:32.637 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, there's a bigger battle going on here. 25:32.817 --> 25:41.801 [SPEAKER_01]: They kind of really helped me learn how to use the weapons that I had to fight the actual battle, not fight back words, not coward on an insecurity. 25:42.141 --> 25:51.285 [SPEAKER_01]: But let's focus on what really matters, because as I honed in on a little bit of go, my parents really thought long-term, and of course no parents are perfect, the city didn't go perfectly. 25:51.805 --> 25:55.947 [SPEAKER_01]: But if my mom or city care, because we've talked about this together before, my mom and dad really 25:56.347 --> 26:02.090 [SPEAKER_01]: We're trying to think long term that there is going to come a day where she's not going to be under our roof anymore. 26:02.591 --> 26:10.675 [SPEAKER_01]: And we know that if our kids are going to be the light of the world, Jesus said that people are going to hate you, that people are going to persecute you. 26:10.796 --> 26:14.278 [SPEAKER_01]: And so for them, they didn't want to shield me from 26:15.098 --> 26:23.387 [SPEAKER_01]: the repercussions of me boldly living out my faith only to then continue to do that outside the home and not be prepared for the backlash that was going to come. 26:23.827 --> 26:35.539 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm really grateful for that because they gave me the tools that I needed when I went to college as I'm now an adult to continue operating in the actual battle that I'm in, which is not people, but a real enemy who hates us. 26:35.559 --> 26:35.940 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 26:36.320 --> 26:43.728 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that is so interesting and I'm so glad you brought that up that they didn't just like take you off Instagram because that would have been me too. 26:43.809 --> 26:45.510 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm like my kids can't have social media. 26:46.131 --> 26:48.254 [SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, there's a lot of reasons for that. 26:48.434 --> 26:51.497 [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, that's a whole different topic, but I just think for sure. 26:51.517 --> 26:54.601 [SPEAKER_00]: It would be my natural instinct too to be like, 26:55.101 --> 26:55.942 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're done. 26:56.022 --> 27:03.068 [SPEAKER_00]: But instead they're saying like Instagram or not, if you're gonna go live for Jesus, like the world is gonna come at you in a variety of different ways. 27:03.188 --> 27:07.152 [SPEAKER_00]: And so they just equipped you instead of totally sheltering you. 27:07.372 --> 27:10.155 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's so interesting. 27:10.275 --> 27:11.116 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm glad that you said that. 27:11.176 --> 27:18.282 [SPEAKER_00]: I think again, we really as parents just want to dive in and save the day and take all the struggles away, even though we know that 27:19.583 --> 27:25.886 [SPEAKER_00]: we have to work through that stuff and obviously there's different levels and everyone knows their kids so we're not sitting saying to ignore the bullying. 27:26.386 --> 27:27.387 [SPEAKER_00]: But for sure. 27:27.407 --> 27:27.487 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 27:28.047 --> 27:29.027 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 27:29.548 --> 27:29.928 [SPEAKER_00]: For sure. 27:30.753 --> 27:47.568 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay, let me, so to kind of wrap us up, tell me a little bit about some of the daily habits that you established as a kid and still have now to help you memorize scripture and stay in the word because you have so much scripture memorized. 27:47.608 --> 27:48.989 [SPEAKER_00]: I know parents want that for their kids. 27:49.009 --> 27:50.671 [SPEAKER_00]: So what are some things that help you to do that? 27:50.831 --> 28:05.392 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, so this is something that, of course, when you have a baby instead for your in college with a roommate, like, it shifts season to season and I'm thankful for, like, grace as if she's in comes and something I always tell people is that, hey, I'm gonna share it. 28:05.412 --> 28:06.754 [SPEAKER_01]: This is what I did in high school. 28:07.375 --> 28:11.238 [SPEAKER_01]: But as you go from season to season, it's not like this is the only right way. 28:11.639 --> 28:18.445 [SPEAKER_01]: What I'm trying to emphasize here is the heart of prioritizing your intimacy with the Lord, prioritizing spiritual disciplines. 28:18.785 --> 28:22.208 [SPEAKER_01]: And that may look different season to season, but that different doesn't mean wrong. 28:22.728 --> 28:29.054 [SPEAKER_01]: But when I was in high school, I would set my alarm earlier than I needed to be up and ready for school. 28:29.574 --> 28:32.977 [SPEAKER_01]: And I would sit with the Lord and read his word. 28:34.558 --> 28:43.501 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I would, in parts of high school, I'd just be going through a book and then senior year I started chronologically reading the Bible, just to see the whole meta narrative. 28:44.201 --> 28:45.861 [SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, I would just spend time with the Lord. 28:45.901 --> 28:46.902 [SPEAKER_01]: I was spent time in prayer. 28:46.922 --> 28:50.803 [SPEAKER_01]: I would journal, which is so sweet now going back and looking at 28:52.143 --> 28:55.826 [SPEAKER_01]: my relationship with him and different things I was processing at different times. 28:56.127 --> 29:03.873 [SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, it's been time in the word and prayer and journaling before I would go to school and it set the tone for my day. 29:04.334 --> 29:17.345 [SPEAKER_01]: And now as I'm an adult like that has continued, I prioritize just being in the word because what you speak is a reflection of what you put in your heart as a person thinks so are you? 29:17.385 --> 29:17.645 [SPEAKER_01]: And so 29:18.486 --> 29:32.972 [SPEAKER_01]: Our priority of getting along with God, our priority of talking with Him, of listening to His voice, learning to discern His voice, and that comes through prayer and being in the word, but also like I talked about earlier with someone, community. 29:33.292 --> 29:36.613 [SPEAKER_01]: So I was plugged into a local church in high school. 29:36.893 --> 29:39.717 [SPEAKER_01]: and then got plugged into a local church in college. 29:39.897 --> 29:47.649 [SPEAKER_01]: And now my husband and I and our family were plugged into a local church and have godly people who we have surrounding us. 29:47.729 --> 29:52.235 [SPEAKER_01]: And so those are things that have anchored us, have mm-hmm. 29:52.796 --> 30:05.181 [SPEAKER_01]: helped us continue to walk with him to discern his voice because life doesn't get easier and may go from cyber bullying to who knows what next and I'm thankful that he studies us. 30:05.581 --> 30:09.903 [SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, being in the word was definitely a priority and I did. 30:09.923 --> 30:17.086 [SPEAKER_01]: I would write down, I had different methods author of high school, but I would write down scripture on note cards and I would tape them once I started driving. 30:17.146 --> 30:18.126 [SPEAKER_01]: I taped them in my car. 30:18.566 --> 30:20.228 [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I would take them all over my room. 30:20.288 --> 30:25.033 [SPEAKER_01]: I would take them on my bathroom mirror to remind myself, I thought it's true, fleeing wonderful made me. 30:25.493 --> 30:27.075 [SPEAKER_01]: God has made me in his image. 30:27.792 --> 30:29.834 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm I'm taking that with me. 30:30.214 --> 30:32.676 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm putting on my I remember every morning. 30:32.696 --> 30:35.639 [SPEAKER_01]: I had someone forty three. 30:35.659 --> 30:48.610 [SPEAKER_01]: I think take to my wall and just let this morning bring me word of your I'm failing love for I put my trust in you and I'm just pray that before put my feet on the floor just to posture like God and give you my day and I invite you to have my day. 30:48.811 --> 30:51.493 [SPEAKER_01]: If I wanted to memorize a verse, I would sometimes 30:51.853 --> 30:53.634 [SPEAKER_01]: I hope my teachers didn't think I was cheating. 30:53.914 --> 30:58.117 [SPEAKER_01]: But I would take the first letter of every word in the scripture. 30:58.237 --> 31:01.519 [SPEAKER_01]: And I would write on the first letter of every word of a verse on my hand. 31:01.939 --> 31:05.361 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I just memorized it all throughout the day as I had just the first letter. 31:05.641 --> 31:18.069 [SPEAKER_01]: So different ways that I would memorize the word, I say that ought to say that the memorizing of scripture is not a spiritual gift, like whoever you are, wherever you are. 31:18.589 --> 31:28.216 [SPEAKER_01]: It's possible because his word is something that Elvout Jesus said the Holy Spirit has come to help you and he's come to remind you of everything that I've taught you. 31:28.236 --> 31:29.677 [SPEAKER_01]: That's what the Holy Spirit does. 31:29.717 --> 31:31.879 [SPEAKER_01]: He helps us remember the word of God. 31:31.919 --> 31:40.965 [SPEAKER_01]: And so if it seems daunting or intimidating, now that the word isn't like there's not like this expectation for you to go and memorize a whole chapter. 31:41.045 --> 31:42.266 [SPEAKER_01]: He's just wanting you to know him. 31:42.286 --> 31:44.468 [SPEAKER_01]: And so how it is word in your heart and 31:44.888 --> 31:58.266 [SPEAKER_01]: I think sometimes we forget the power of prayer to invite the Holy Spirit in, like, hey, I'm having a hard time remembering, can you help me remember your word and why on earth would she not want to do that? 31:58.326 --> 31:59.788 [SPEAKER_01]: And then like it was in my 32:00.860 --> 32:17.880 [SPEAKER_01]: middle moment and many middle moments after I had scriptures come back to memory that I didn't that you won't even know oh I forgot I knew that and it's because he does he remind you of what's true whenever you're facing deceit as a teen twin and as a parent too yeah 32:18.100 --> 32:18.660 [SPEAKER_00]: No, that's so good. 32:18.680 --> 32:20.882 [SPEAKER_00]: And I love your reminder to that all the seasons look different. 32:21.042 --> 32:27.586 [SPEAKER_00]: So your team might, when scripture has spent time with the Lord at a different time, then you will as the parent of the teen. 32:28.066 --> 32:30.708 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's always say God's not setting an alarm clock for you. 32:31.068 --> 32:33.269 [SPEAKER_00]: That there's not like a certain time that you have to mean. 32:33.329 --> 32:40.133 [SPEAKER_00]: If you have little babies and you are exhausted, like, I remember there was a time I tried so hard to do it right in the morning. 32:40.354 --> 32:47.418 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I would finish reading the Bible and I was like, I have no idea what I just read because it just, I was too tired and I was like, this isn't working. 32:47.618 --> 32:49.498 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I just had to, you know, pivot a little bit. 32:49.658 --> 32:50.039 [SPEAKER_00]: That's okay. 32:50.339 --> 32:50.779 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 32:51.159 --> 32:51.559 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 32:52.839 --> 32:54.660 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I think you're just so encouraging. 32:54.840 --> 33:00.921 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just think those are so many good practical takeaways and just encouragement for parents and for kids too. 33:01.101 --> 33:04.402 [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you so much for sharing it with us. 33:04.982 --> 33:09.283 [SPEAKER_00]: Can you tell us where we can connect with you and find your book and all that stuff I'll put it on. 33:10.197 --> 33:19.069 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely, yes, my Instagram is first Corinthians, thirteen, underscore love, and my website is linamectenial.com. 33:19.149 --> 33:19.770 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you. 33:19.870 --> 33:21.272 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for being here. 33:21.712 --> 33:23.254 [SPEAKER_01]: Just so grateful for you. 33:23.995 --> 33:25.597 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so, so grateful for you. 33:25.677 --> 33:27.500 [SPEAKER_01]: This is sweet, this blessed me today. 33:29.408 --> 33:32.210 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for joining us in this conversation with MMA. 33:32.350 --> 33:35.713 [SPEAKER_00]: I hope that her story reminded you that the words of others don't define us. 33:35.913 --> 33:36.413 [SPEAKER_00]: God does. 33:37.114 --> 33:42.398 [SPEAKER_00]: I have links to connect with her and show notes and a link to her book as well along the middle so definitely go check that out. 33:43.198 --> 33:44.519 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for listening to us. 33:44.599 --> 33:50.704 [SPEAKER_00]: We will see you next week and as you go through this week may the Lord fill you with courage to stand firm and your identity in him. 33:51.325 --> 33:55.468 [SPEAKER_00]: Wisdom to guide your children toward truth and grace for every step of the journey.