[SPEAKER_00]: What's your biggest I could have gotten laid and blew it moment?
[SPEAKER_00]: Story one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hung out with this woman for a few months.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were about twenty to twenty-one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't think she was into me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I liked her very much, but she was into me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just had zero experience and was terrified of reading the situation wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was so cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I really didn't want to screw up our friendship if I was wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: She also had zero experience.
[SPEAKER_00]: We both were in the unique situation of having lost a lot of weight and being very new to being attractive.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were both virgins without a clue.
[SPEAKER_00]: This haunts me.
[SPEAKER_00]: One time, I was hanging out with her and her roommate.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were all tipsy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her roommate got incredibly ranchy in the topic of conversation, and eventually they ended up having me judge a BJ contest on a cucumber, while I held it.
[SPEAKER_00]: The girl I was into seemed very interested in learning and asking me how she was doing, oh my god, I am so dumb.
[SPEAKER_00]: A month or so later we were sitting on her porch at like three AM.
[SPEAKER_00]: and I was rolling a joint, it's cold.
[SPEAKER_00]: So she has her arms around mine and is leaning her head on my shoulder.
[SPEAKER_00]: We had been talking on the porch for like two hours about anything and everything as we often did.
[SPEAKER_00]: She leans over and kisses me long on the cheek and gives me the eyes.
[SPEAKER_00]: I say, you're so sweet, of freaking idiot.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought to myself, this hurts every time I remember it.
[SPEAKER_00]: We eventually make our way inside, and it's late.
[SPEAKER_00]: She tells me to come sleep in her bedroom with her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Calm down, obviously.
[SPEAKER_00]: She strips down to a t-shirt and inners and takes her bra off without taking off her shirt.
[SPEAKER_00]: But she made a kind of show about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: We get in bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: and she immediately rolls over and lays her head on my chest, saying she's cold.
[SPEAKER_00]: I take her at her word, and think that's all this is.
[SPEAKER_00]: She rubbed her hands on my chest for a while, but eventually, I guess she assumed I wasn't into it and rolled over, and we went to sleep.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was talking to someone else within a month.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so dumb, I realized it two years later.
[SPEAKER_00]: Luckily, I'm not nearly the stupid anymore, and this taught me a lot of lessons about not being the most oblivious moron on earth.
[SPEAKER_00]: In a way I'm glad I didn't end up dating her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I met my ex a few years after, and she gave me my son, who is my most cherished human being on earth, and I don't regret that at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I would have met my ex if I didn't fumble this bag so hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: Before we continue, do us a quick favor, smash that like button and subscribe to support our channel.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story Two A few years ago, I worked at this bar.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a real local alky joint.
[SPEAKER_00]: And outside of Thursday and Friday nights, it was almost exclusively older people.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, there were a few younger folks that came in, and I was working the Sunday evening shift when this younger regular came in.
[SPEAKER_00]: She would pop in often, but it was odd to see her on a Sunday night.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was way younger than most, being in her early twenties and cute.
[SPEAKER_00]: She'd come in, soak up the vibe, chat with friends, and usually sit on some tequila.
[SPEAKER_00]: On this night, she looked just downtrodden.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had this tragic look on her face.
[SPEAKER_00]: She just sat at the bar and looked like she was about to cry.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'd spoken before so she said hi, but didn't look like she wanted to be asked about what was up.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just asked what she wanted to drink.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said just a bud light.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought to myself that she's in here enough, never causes any trouble and maybe she just needs a friendly gesture so I poured her a tequila and slid it over.
[SPEAKER_00]: When she looked up, I told her not to worry about it and that it was on me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her face lit up with a genuine smile of appreciation.
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt good, she looked like she was feeling better.
[SPEAKER_00]: All good, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: night goes on the bar gets busy and we don't really chat but every time I swing by she smiles at me and generally looks like she's in a better mood when it comes time to close out I slide her bill toward her we use these old school order cards where the bottom detaches and we wrote the total to cash them out she pays and detaches the bottom piece and leaves it there for the record people get fidgety and do that all the time
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I grab the cash, give her the change, and then I take the detached piece of paper, crumpled it up, and shoot it into the garbage with a Kobe.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then I look over to her.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she is sporting a face of true shock.
[SPEAKER_00]: She gets up and walks out quickly.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really confused until I go over to the garbage and grab the paper.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just shot in.
[SPEAKER_00]: What's on there?
[SPEAKER_00]: You guessed it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her phone number?
[SPEAKER_00]: Story three.
[SPEAKER_00]: In high school, this girl in the year above me had been flirty and affectionate with me for months.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was really pretty too.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why I acted so ambivalent about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: One day, our class merges with her class for some reason, and we're watching a movie she's getting really close to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Playfully steals my flip phone and saves her phone number into my contacts.
[SPEAKER_00]: My internal reaction was, why would I need to call you?
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't have classes together.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not friends with any of my friends, and there's nothing we really need from each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why did you give me this number?
[SPEAKER_00]: She got bored with my cluelessness, obviously.
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't until about ten years later that it occurred to me, maybe she liked you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story four.
[SPEAKER_00]: This was during my early twenties.
[SPEAKER_00]: A girl I liked a lot told me to stop by after seeing my friend who lived nearby at ten pm on a Tuesday.
[SPEAKER_00]: We hung out for a couple of hours and then she said, I have to go to bed now.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can stay the night if you want.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I said, sure, I can sleep on your couch.
[SPEAKER_00]: She says okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: She turns to walk down the hall to her bedroom and says over her shoulder.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can always join me in my bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's big and I'm really good.
[SPEAKER_00]: My brain freezes at what I just heard.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I lie back on the couch and think, did she just say what I think she said?
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I closed my eyes for a minute, so is not to seem too eager and say to myself, I'll go in her room in about five to ten minutes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I did not mention it, but I was super stoned, and it was one AM.
[SPEAKER_00]: The next thing I know.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's waking me up, saying it is seven thirty AM, and she has to go to work.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: My dumb stoned idiot halfway brain fell into a deep sleep.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was still halfway lying back on the couch with my feet on the floor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of the best rest I had had in a while.
[SPEAKER_00]: That couch was comfy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story five.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was at a party and I was quite drunk.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were playing video games and this girl was flirting and trash talking.
[SPEAKER_00]: During her turn I was screaming I can't hear you through all the losing right at her, directly at her face, loudly.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then someone brought up dancing and she said she could pull dance.
[SPEAKER_00]: When told to prove it she said there wasn't a pole so I stood up and put my hands over my head and stood there to be the pole while she danced around me like a dancer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Finally someone threw a chair into a nearby lake so I jumped in to get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went up to my room to shower and change and she offered to help.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got into the shower and she followed me in, helping me undress and helping me soap myself while showering.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was fully undressed and we went into my room together.
[SPEAKER_00]: She lay on my bed while I got dressed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thanked her for helping me and went downstairs, leaving her on my bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Needless to say, nothing happened, and every single person was like, what the heck were you doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: She threw herself at me, and I literally missed it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story six.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was around twenty-one, I went to a house party and ended up meeting a girl there.
[SPEAKER_00]: As the party was winding down, she invited me and two others to keep hanging out at her place.
[SPEAKER_00]: We went over, but it turned out to be a pretty laid-back scene just chilling and smoking a bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, she started figuring out the sleeping arrangements.
[SPEAKER_00]: She pointed the other two toward one of the bedrooms, then turned to me and said I'd be sleeping in her room.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we lie down, and she tells me she likes to sleep on cloth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Asks if that's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: I say yeah, that's fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: She strips down to just her underwear and gets into bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe thirty seconds pass, and she says she also likes to cuddle.
[SPEAKER_00]: Asks if that's all right, too.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just go, I don't care.
[SPEAKER_00]: Good night.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even bother taking off my jeans to get comfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Another time, I had a seizure, just as it was getting started.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story seven.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went camping in like way out in the thick bush with a couple of buddies.
[SPEAKER_00]: We happened to meet three young ladies, two from France, who spoke zero English, and one from Quebec.
[SPEAKER_00]: We ended up camping beside one another on a provincial park campsite.
[SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, we chose to merge the campsites with all our tents.
[SPEAKER_00]: We all just meshed and shot the crap and enjoyed country life.
[SPEAKER_00]: The ladies and I ended up doing a bunch of grass and whatever else.
[SPEAKER_00]: One night, having random dance parties by the fire pit and whatnot, I ended up bonding with one of them with a complete language barrier who is one of the most attractive females to have ever walked this earth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Down to Earth, free spirited and head turning gorgeous, but she was so freaking chill, and I was having a blast communicating with her through body language for hours, like strictly body language for days, it was so funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: After a spontaneous little dance party, the girl I'd been viving with wandered off to her tent, which was set up directly across from the fire pit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was still zoned out, completely mesmerized by the flames and probably a little too messed up to move.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then I noticed, she set, left her tent door open.
[SPEAKER_00]: I glanced over, and there she was, sitting up, completely bare, looking straight at me, and literally motioning with the classic come-here finger.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was so shy, I immediately blushed and turned away like I hadn't seen a thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep, screwed that one up, I still to this day at age thirty-four.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't know how to be human when an attractive person of the opposite sex makes a move on me or shows interest in me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I get all flustered and say some stupid crap and speed walk away.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then, the awkwardness does the exact opposite of slowly dissipating if I have to keep seeing them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story eight.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was a college senior and was at a group meeting.
[SPEAKER_00]: A girl I was starting to know asked me for a ride back to our dorm.
[SPEAKER_00]: When we got there, she asked if I wanted to hang out, and I was like, sure, we go to her bedroom, and she turns on the TV and lies down in bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I sit in a chair.
[SPEAKER_00]: She tells me to join her in bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: While we watch TV, she told me how she had never slept with anyone before, and was looking for someone she could feel safe doing it with.
[SPEAKER_00]: Me being both a gentleman and an idiot was like, yeah, that's important and tough.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was touching me and everything, and I was just watching TV until I told her it's time for me to leave.
[SPEAKER_00]: You could see how disappointed she was, as she said by.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to visit my best friend who was also a girl and told her about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: She stopped the game we were playing and yelled at me for being blind.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's when all the gears fell in place.
[SPEAKER_00]: I tried for a redemption afterward.
[SPEAKER_00]: It never happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story nine When I was a senior in high school in two thousand fifteen I was going over to this girl's house nearly every single day.
[SPEAKER_00]: We met shortly after the school year had started.
[SPEAKER_00]: I liked her a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still not sure how much she was into me.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I have reason to suspect there was at least some mutual interest.
[SPEAKER_00]: One day at her house, it was just her and me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her mom was at work.
[SPEAKER_00]: We watched a movie together with some cuddling.
[SPEAKER_00]: After that, we played around and ended up in her upstairs bedroom, drawing on each other with Sharpies and just generally having a good time.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said she had something under her bed she wanted to show me.
[SPEAKER_00]: She pulled out a cylindrical metal tin full of more than twenty rubbers.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't pick up on the hint at all, fairly confident she wanted to get laid.
[SPEAKER_00]: Fast forward to two thousand twenty four when I was diagnosed as autistic.
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes a lot more sense to me today.
[SPEAKER_00]: I totally missed the indirect meaning of showing me that I honestly don't feel bad about it because she ended up doing things to me later on that I am still in therapy for today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story ten.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a girl come over to watch a movie.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said it was getting late, and I told her she could crash at my place, and I'd sleep in the other room.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said it's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: We can share the bed, so I said, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll put a pillow between us, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said I didn't need to do that, so I slept facing away from her.
[SPEAKER_00]: She told me a few days later what I missed, that she was trying to sleep with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Should have known she wasn't actually interested in coming over to watch Star Wars,
[SPEAKER_00]: Story eleven.
[SPEAKER_00]: It happened to me twice with two different ladies.
[SPEAKER_00]: The first one asked to use my bathroom when we walked back to my dorm.
[SPEAKER_00]: I waited outside the dorm and she just looked at me weirdly when she was done and leaving.
[SPEAKER_00]: The second time, I gave this bartender my number and told her to call me if she ever wanted to talk.
[SPEAKER_00]: She called me that night and asked what I was doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I told her I was sleeping and I'd be happy to talk to her in the morning.
[SPEAKER_00]: She never called again.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story Twelve.
[SPEAKER_00]: In high school this girl I had a crush on for I don't know how long started going to the gym I went to.
[SPEAKER_00]: I lived on my own at sixteen in a single wide my dad owned.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just paid for power and water.
[SPEAKER_00]: After a couple of months she began asking for tips, etc.
[SPEAKER_00]: We would work out together a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: And one night she had a fight with her family, and asked to stay the night with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Super innocent me said, Yeah, sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: I made popcorn.
[SPEAKER_00]: We watched swamp people on the TV, and she was constantly pinching me or hitting me with a pillow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then she started purple nerding me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I then began saying that it's not fair.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't do it back.
[SPEAKER_00]: She hit me with I'd love it if you'd do it back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Once again, super innocent me never caught it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Eventually we got tired and I offered my bed and then crashed on the couch where she insisted we could sleep together but I wanted to be impressive and so sleeping on the couch seemed like the manly choice.
[SPEAKER_00]: I still feel like an idiot to this day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirteen
[SPEAKER_00]: My crush, freshman year of college, was two years older.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wiser and more worldly.
[SPEAKER_00]: I worked at the front desk of the dorm, and I would chat with her late at night.
[SPEAKER_00]: We would talk sometimes for hours.
[SPEAKER_00]: She called my room and invited me to her party.
[SPEAKER_00]: Huge house party.
[SPEAKER_00]: No one needed an invite.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I got one.
[SPEAKER_00]: And about midnight, she finds me and grabs my hand and asks if I can stay and help clean up.
[SPEAKER_00]: And cleaning up doesn't sound awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I skip out before the party is over.
[SPEAKER_00]: She graduated at the end of the next school year.
[SPEAKER_00]: On graduation night, I ran into her, and she gave me the biggest hug, and then she tells me she has nowhere to sleep.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's already packed up and is moving to Chicago the next morning.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've already promised my sofa to a friend, so I don't offer her a place to stay.
[SPEAKER_00]: She gives one more hug, and we say goodbye.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a year later that it all clicked.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't need to offer the sofa and my buddy didn't even crash there, and it was the second time I turned her down.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's happily married in Texas now, or was a decade ago when I looked and life turned out fine for me too.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had the biggest crush on this coworker who had recently been let go.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was in my mid-twenties, and work through an amazing party, like they rented a casino most of us got rooms, and there was an open bar.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like something out of a movie.
[SPEAKER_00]: You've never seen a work party like this.
[SPEAKER_00]: The company got banned from returning the next year because people were boning on the staircases.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I got a large, sweet-type room.
[SPEAKER_00]: I invited this dude I like to have been fired.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he knew everyone there.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we all love the guy because he was fun and sweet.
[SPEAKER_00]: Plus I invited a friend from outside of work who had recently started there.
[SPEAKER_00]: I brought another friend who didn't work there.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I brought my mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had a great time.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I enjoyed having her there.
[SPEAKER_00]: And all my friends thought she was funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I don't know why I did that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wish I hadn't.
[SPEAKER_00]: Six of us were chilling in the room drunk after the showroom closed.
[SPEAKER_00]: We hung on the balcony for a while, smoked some grass, and looked out over the river.
[SPEAKER_00]: We all slept in different places.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: My mom took the side room with the door.
[SPEAKER_00]: We paid, so we got the beds.
[SPEAKER_00]: The other friends were on the couches and chairs, and one was on the floor.
[SPEAKER_00]: That morning, just me and the crush were up first.
[SPEAKER_00]: He said he was cold on the chair and I told him to get in bed with me under the covers.
[SPEAKER_00]: He stood up and took his jeans and shirt off.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just him and his boxers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Beautiful body.
[SPEAKER_00]: The first time I'd seen him bare, I was ecstatic.
[SPEAKER_00]: He got to the bed and pulled the blanket over him.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was debating when to reach over and the door opens and my mom announces, get up guys, we're going to breakfast.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I never got another shot, never saw him again, it still stings.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story fifteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: I used to be friends with a girl who lived in my village, and she was telling me one day about how she had never walked a dog because her parents wouldn't let her have one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I offered to let her walk my dog with me, and I even let her hold the lead which was hilarious.
[SPEAKER_00]: My dog pulled so hard that she went flying.
[SPEAKER_00]: Afterwards, I walked her home, and she invited me in, noting that her parents weren't home.
[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, my bonehead was only thinking, I have to take the dog home.
[SPEAKER_00]: A few days later, she spelled out what she had been implying.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did not get another chance.
[SPEAKER_00]: To be fair?
[SPEAKER_00]: Looking back on it now?
[SPEAKER_00]: Nah, I was totally right to prioritize my dog's welfare.
[SPEAKER_00]: Having her roam a stranger's house is one thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: But imagine if her parents had come home and found a dog, story-sixteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: I met the girl I had a huge crush on in high school, a decade later she'd gone through a recent divorce.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're hanging out and she casually mentions, I got married so soon out of high school.
[SPEAKER_00]: I never really got the opportunity to have any fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: I politely listened, agreed, finished my wine and wished her good night.
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't until a week later waiting for my flight back to school that she texted me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was really hoping to have some fun with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry if you were interested.
[SPEAKER_00]: It hits me like a sack of bricks.
[SPEAKER_00]: What an idiot I was.
[SPEAKER_00]: I damn near skipped my flight, ready to go back to meet her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was so crazy about this girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't think straight.
[SPEAKER_00]: By the time I was back in town, the next time, she was dating someone.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story Seventeen.
[SPEAKER_00]: I missed so many hints as a teenager.
[SPEAKER_00]: A bunch of us were hanging out and having a big sleep over.
[SPEAKER_00]: A couple of the girls took me away from a conversation and somehow convinced me that I should give them back massages in a bedroom.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't need much convincing, of course.
[SPEAKER_00]: One laid down and I got to work, excited at my luck to get hands on.
[SPEAKER_00]: A few minutes in, she said her shirt was getting in the way and pulled it up.
[SPEAKER_00]: A minute after that, she said her bra was in the way and undid it.
[SPEAKER_00]: At some point, the other girl had slipped out of the room, but I hadn't noticed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I kept going for a while, and eventually told her my hands were getting tired.
[SPEAKER_00]: She told me she was very relaxed, and that I should relax for a bit too.
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, yeah, I guess so, and stood up and walked back out to the group to sit down.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came out several minutes later, looking sad, and then didn't say much to me for the rest of the night.
[SPEAKER_00]: I still kick myself over that one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story eighteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were both a team, and she came to spend a few days at my place while my family was away.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were already close friends, and hugged a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: Come nighttime, we watch a movie on the couch, like against each other, being platonically physical, her head on my lap, tickling, and that kind of flirty thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: We go to bed, she lies down back to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: After a minute she took my hand and brought me back closer to her and placed my arm around her.
[SPEAKER_00]: My dumb self didn't think she was trying anything because I was so damn insecure at that time and not in a million years what I have thought that I had a shot with her.
[SPEAKER_00]: A few days later she dropped something like, did you ever spend the night with someone and nothing happened, but you wish it did?
[SPEAKER_00]: And my dumb self was like, no, I don't think so.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story nineteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had just got back to college from winter break.
[SPEAKER_00]: Had a couple of days before classes started, so naturally we were all partying.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to a house party at a friend's house.
[SPEAKER_00]: There were probably thirty to forty people there.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were up in my buddy's room smoking and passing a guitar around.
[SPEAKER_00]: A cute girl walked in and just sat down and joined us.
[SPEAKER_00]: After we played a few songs, a few people left, and the girl who joined the group took the seat next to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: We all hung out and smoked more and played more music.
[SPEAKER_00]: After a while she said she was taking off and suggested that I walk her home.
[SPEAKER_00]: My dumb self said, nah we're still having fun here.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was the next morning when I sobered up and realized what had happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: This was at a large public university.
[SPEAKER_00]: I never saw her again.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had dated this girl in high school who moved away and we both decided not to try to keep it going long distance.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our relationship was pretty brief, and we never got beyond making out.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were both virgins at the time.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came back to town to visit friends and family several months later, and wanted to get together to hang out.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came over to my house, and as luck would have it, my parents were out of the house, and I wasn't sure what time they'd be back.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was getting sweaty in my basement, and she gave me a blowy.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said she was willing to go all the way.
[SPEAKER_00]: She had lost her v-card since the last time I saw her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hadn't, between nerves and worrying about my parents suddenly showing back up at home, I said I wasn't sure if it was a good idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: She understood, and we just continued what we were doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Every passing minute, I was kicking myself for not going for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I suppose I truly wasn't ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: She went back to her new home state, and we've kept casually in contact over the years.
[SPEAKER_00]: But online only, haven't seen her in person since.
[SPEAKER_00]: Definitely one I have replayed in my mind several times and imagined it played out differently.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I started chatting with an old high school crush and friend on Instagram.
[SPEAKER_00]: It turns out she and her husband were having a rough time.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was in the military and he was overseas.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she basically thought her marriage was over.
[SPEAKER_00]: She literally told me that she thought it was over.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was in town for a few days, basically coming back home to visit family or something.
[SPEAKER_00]: She really wanted to bang.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was all for it, but my conscience got in the way.
[SPEAKER_00]: She wasn't divorced, and I kept thinking.
[SPEAKER_00]: What if they fixed things?
[SPEAKER_00]: Plus he was in the military, and that frightened me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I eventually told her no, I couldn't do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't feel right, even though she kept flirting and talking dirty.
[SPEAKER_00]: She eventually quit like she wasn't upset.
[SPEAKER_00]: She understood.
[SPEAKER_00]: She ended up doing things with another guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I remember right, I just couldn't get past the fact that she was still married.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have morals.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, eventually her husband came home, she just abandoned me basically.
[SPEAKER_00]: And one day she was like, can you not talk to me as much?
[SPEAKER_00]: He thinks it's weird.
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, sure thing, no problem, and deleted her off everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't know she cheated.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should have banged the crap out of her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did get to see her rack though after fantasizing about her when we were younger.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty two.
[SPEAKER_00]: One time I spent the night at my crush's house who had told me that I needed to be kind of quiet so the homeowners didn't know she had a guy over.
[SPEAKER_00]: She wanted to take a shower.
[SPEAKER_00]: She didn't explicitly invite me, mind you, but I said, okay, enjoy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Seeing that I wasn't joining her, she decided not to take one and to just come lie down with me instead.
[SPEAKER_00]: From there, it still could have gone to quiet some places, but I asked if she wanted to cuddle, and as soon as we started cuddling, I passed out.
[SPEAKER_00]: To be fair, we spent the whole hot sunny day walking, then walked quite away to make it to her house.
[SPEAKER_00]: While I was uncertain about what she wanted to do, and didn't see that she wanted me to join her in the shower so that we could have some fun with the running shower as Sonic cover.
[SPEAKER_00]: It should be noted that it was well established that we were both really into each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: In glad that I didn't make any assumptions, but I mildly curse my stupidity and not seeing that they wouldn't have been assumptions.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then, I'm also happy with the way it played out because the next morning she told me that she was still in a relationship with my friend who had introduced us.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I thought that the whole reason things had been heating up between us was because they had separated.
[SPEAKER_00]: It turned out they were just in a slump.
[SPEAKER_00]: My youth has many examples of this sort of thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've literally been asked if I want to sleep with the woman I was crushing on.
[SPEAKER_00]: And after saying yes, I literally just slept in her bed with her.
[SPEAKER_00]: On my twenty-first birthday, my friend tried to give me the gift of a birthday bang but she never said so.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't remember much except her putting her arms around me and thinking that she just wanted a really long hug.
[SPEAKER_00]: We even made out a little bit, but then she went outside, thinking that I wasn't into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I do not miss being young and awkward.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty three.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was at university, I frequently spoke to a friend from high school who was at a different university about hundred and fifty miles away.
[SPEAKER_00]: We decided I should come visit her for a weekend.
[SPEAKER_00]: I get there on the train on Friday night.
[SPEAKER_00]: I dropped off my stuff in her room and it's straight out clubbing.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's dancing with me all night.
[SPEAKER_00]: We went back to her house.
[SPEAKER_00]: She is clearly quite drunk, so obviously a no-go since I have had barely anything to drink.
[SPEAKER_00]: I sleep on the sofa in her room.
[SPEAKER_00]: She takes the bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: The next day, she showed me the sights.
[SPEAKER_00]: We hung out with some of her friends, a much more chilled day.
[SPEAKER_00]: When we're in bed that night, we're talking about whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: She says you can sleep in the bed if you want.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like nah, that's all right.
[SPEAKER_00]: She follows up with it's a lot more comfortable and remarks.
[SPEAKER_00]: But making you sleep on the sofa wouldn't be fair.
[SPEAKER_00]: I then go to sleep.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ten years later, we're both married to other people, both very happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: She randomly mentions to me that my rejection shook her confidence for a while.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that moment, ten years later, was the first time I realized she was trying to bang me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-four.
[SPEAKER_00]: This still lives in my head, rent free.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, a good friend of mine, imagine Anna to Armas, but somehow hotter.
[SPEAKER_00]: Aphrodite would develop self-esteem issues, standing next to her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I had asked her out for like eight years before this story took place, got politely rejected, and we just stayed good friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: One night we went out for drinks to catch up, and at one point she asked, so, how's dating life?
[SPEAKER_00]: I told her, as dormant as Mount Everest, she gave me this look and said, how though, your smart cute, cuddly, kind and tall?
[SPEAKER_00]: Girls love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I replied with a sarcastic.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe, I guess?
[SPEAKER_00]: Tell me more, she continued.
[SPEAKER_00]: You cook like a god, you feel safe to be around, you can play three instruments.
[SPEAKER_00]: I interrupted.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, I meant your dating life.
[SPEAKER_00]: She got a little quiet then said, oh, um, the last guy was a dud in bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I stud have to do everything, and he wouldn't even favor me back.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I broke it off.
[SPEAKER_00]: I chuckled and replied.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's sad.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the best bit, and she just smirked and said, is that so now?
[SPEAKER_00]: My family isn't home.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, I'm short circling.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no way this goddess is serious.
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, an awkward, no way she means it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I tried to play it off and said, ooh, I've never seen this funny side of yours.
[SPEAKER_00]: She looked at me and said, you haven't seen quite a bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Later, we headed to the smoking room.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her heel strap came loose and she said, hey, hold my hand, please.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did.
[SPEAKER_00]: And while fixing her shoe, she glanced up and said, Huh, quite the strong hands you have there.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just replied, Oh, nice to know, she giggled and added.
[SPEAKER_00]: In my experience, men with strong hands are amazing in bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I laughed awkwardly and said, Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's definitely joking, but then I added, I don't know if I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll find out when the time comes, and she hit me with a, time wouldn't be the only one coming, followed by a wink.
[SPEAKER_00]: At that point, I was glitching like Windows XP on a bad day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I told myself, nope, this is just playful banter.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're imagining things again, abort mission.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were in the car and I was driving her home when she said, is this the route?
[SPEAKER_00]: Seems longer than usual.
[SPEAKER_00]: I explained, yeah, the road is closed.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to take a reroute and then she murmured, you love to take your time, don't you?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right then, a bi-xipped past and I had to break hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: Instinctively, I held my arm out to protect her.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my hand accidentally landed on her chest, I panicked, yanked it back, and stammered.
[SPEAKER_00]: In so sorry, I didn't mean to.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Please don't be mad.
[SPEAKER_00]: She just laughed and said, chill, it's okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Might have gotten turned on if you were my man.
[SPEAKER_00]: We reached her place.
[SPEAKER_00]: I asked for a hug, and she hugged me tightly for like twenty seconds.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then she asked, it's one AM.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you tired?
[SPEAKER_00]: No one's home.
[SPEAKER_00]: Rest till morning?
[SPEAKER_00]: No?
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course I panicked again and said, no no, I'm fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: You go in and rest.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't worry about me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's do this again.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said, yeah, ping me up.
[SPEAKER_00]: The next morning, I'm drinking coffee with my sister, and I tell her the story.
[SPEAKER_00]: She slaps me across the shoulder and goes, you need a freaking runway down to her.
[SPEAKER_00]: How much more obvious did she need to be?
[SPEAKER_00]: You miss hints from my friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: You miss them from your friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd have an easier time getting Trump and she to kiss than getting you laid.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that night replays in my head like a Netflix series I can't cancel.
[SPEAKER_00]: Probably my one chance with the most stunning woman I know and I passed it up out of a very misplaced sense of being a gentleman.
[SPEAKER_00]: A few years ago, back in the early two thousand ten, Panama City Beach was still the hot spot for spring breakers.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't go to college after high school graduation.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to experience being a frat boy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was twenty one years old so it's not like I was your typical creepy old dude hunting fresh meat.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went to a club, Metagirl, and talked for a while.
[SPEAKER_00]: My brain was working overtime because I had really bad social anxiety.
[SPEAKER_00]: I suffered extreme bullying due to a condition I had.
[SPEAKER_00]: But eventually, I had some medical help.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my condition improved to where I recovered myself a steam and worked on myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, my head kept thinking this girl was going to get creed out or start making fun of me in front of her friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I drank a lot of tequila and started to relax.
[SPEAKER_00]: I could tell she was feeling me based on her body language.
[SPEAKER_00]: When it was time to leave, she asked me if she could come to my hotel room.
[SPEAKER_00]: Being a virgin, I immediately freaked because I was afraid I would ruin the moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: I made some excuses and left alone.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't sleep that night thinking about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I blamed my intrusive thoughts and social anxiety.
[SPEAKER_00]: I missed my chance of losing my virginity.
[SPEAKER_00]: I drank myself to sleep and woke up fourteen hours later.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-six.
[SPEAKER_00]: I worked at a country club as a food runner in the kitchen.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was young in my early twenties.
[SPEAKER_00]: There was a volleyball instructor at the club who was in her early thirties and a former D-One volleyball athlete.
[SPEAKER_00]: I acted so cocky and arrogant, thinking it would give me a shot with her, just showing how confident a young man I was.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some important details, I'm five foot nine and hundred and fifty pounds at the time, and she is a fit six foot two with legs like a horse.
[SPEAKER_00]: The annual holiday party comes along.
[SPEAKER_00]: I drink, she drinks, and we wind up at her place.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was there, we started banging.
[SPEAKER_00]: And him now on top, she wraps her D-one volleyball horse legs around me and locks me in.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's strong, like very strong.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was working out regularly at that time, but I was well overpowered.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got nervous, but powered through.
[SPEAKER_00]: This woman proceeds to grab my throat with a grip as strong as her legs.
[SPEAKER_00]: I froze and felt the look of straight fear come over my face, and she was looking into my soul in a way that transformed me back into just a little boy, a scared little boy.
[SPEAKER_00]: She smirked, gave me a peck on the cheek, and respectfully sent me on my way.
[SPEAKER_00]: She tested my fake cocky persona I created, broke it, and sent me packing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I told the guys at work we slept together.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-seven.
[SPEAKER_00]: Freshman year, I started developing a crush on this really sweet and cute girl I used to study with.
[SPEAKER_00]: One weekend, she invited me to her dorm to watch the new Stranger Things episodes, casually mentioning that her housemates were gone.
[SPEAKER_00]: I showed up with snacks and popcorn.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we started watching on her laptop for maybe five minutes before she suggested we move to her bed, to be more comfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then she asked if I wanted the lights off, and told me to get comfy.
[SPEAKER_00]: A little voice in my head was definitely saying this might be a sign, but I didn't want to do anything that might scare her off.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was hoping to build a genuine connection first, not mess it up by making a move too soon.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I sat there, watched two full episodes, like a statue, and when it was over, I just thanked her and told her how much I enjoyed hanging out.
[SPEAKER_00]: After that, she grew distant, and eventually we stopped talking.
[SPEAKER_00]: Looking back, I realized she probably wanted me to make a move, but I was too focused on not ruining something that hadn't even started yet.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-eight.
[SPEAKER_00]: This was in two thousand eighteen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Two occasions with the same girl in the span of one week, we were at some international volunteer program and thus staying in a common dormitory and had our own rooms.
[SPEAKER_00]: The first occasion was during a midweek dinner party, she got tipsy and I stayed sober as I'm not much of a drinker.
[SPEAKER_00]: She cloned to me on our walk back to the dorms, and we were sitting under the stars in the backyard of the dorms to chill.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got distracted by other groups of volunteers interacting around me.
[SPEAKER_00]: She pulled my head back to look at her, and told me that she wants me to only look at her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I told her it's getting late, and she's drunk, and she should go to sleep it off.
[SPEAKER_00]: The second occasion was the last night of my stay in the program.
[SPEAKER_00]: The volunteers were having light drinks as it was the weekend, and as usual she got tipsy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was in my room with my door open, messing around on my laptop.
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw her walk by and called out to her to say hi.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came into hangout, we chit chatted a little, and we ended up hugging.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said, kiss me, which I did on her cheeks, and told her she should go back to her room and sleep as she is tipsy.
[SPEAKER_00]: In my defense, I was already attached then, and didn't want to cheat.
[SPEAKER_00]: But my then-girlfriend didn't believe me anyway, and we broke up a few months later.
[SPEAKER_00]: And also, I don't feel comfortable taking advantage of intoxication.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story twenty-nine.
[SPEAKER_00]: I met this person in college.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll call her Sally.
[SPEAKER_00]: I took her out on a date when she didn't develop an immediate intention of making out with me, I decided that we were friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, I thought we would be the best of friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was always hanging out in her room, studying.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were confidence in each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: I guarded the platonic nature of our relationship as if she were my sister or some kin of mine.
[SPEAKER_00]: Our parents lived in the same city, about four hours away from the college we went to.
[SPEAKER_00]: She would often give me a ride home at breaks.
[SPEAKER_00]: One time, we were driving home and discussing intimacy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should say that this was before the ubiquity of internet corn and images of people.
[SPEAKER_00]: I admitted to her that I didn't know where exactly the G-spot was, or how women solo themselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was in a virgin, but somehow or another, this information hadn't presented itself to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: She briefly said, well, maybe sometimes when I'm not driving, I could show you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I did nothing about this.
[SPEAKER_00]: About twelve years later, we reconnected via social media.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was in a relationship that was falling apart, and she was telling me that her marriage was going to fall apart because she was going to leave.
[SPEAKER_00]: I visited her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I put my laptop on my lap.
[SPEAKER_00]: She ran and got a pillow and told me that I should protect my family jewels from harmful radiation.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came and visited me among the ruins of my romance and was very inquisitive about what I would miss about getting laid.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't take the hint.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now, only looking back at things.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I recognize that she probably wanted to bone me all along?
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirty.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a girl I was really into in my senior year of high school who wanted to go to a club.
[SPEAKER_00]: I volunteered to drive, she brought her best friend, who was madly in love with me, but I wasn't that interested and wanted to get with her friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we went to the club, her friend was all over me the whole time.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just tried my best to ignore her and tried to pay more attention to the one I had a crush on, the night ends, and they both end up staying at my place in my bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: At some point, her friend and I start making out, it doesn't go any further than that, and we end up going to sleep.
[SPEAKER_00]: The next day, I'm dropping them off, I dropped her friend off first, and we're driving for a little bit, and she asks me, did you and Ashley end up doing anything last night?
[SPEAKER_00]: I responded, no.
[SPEAKER_00]: She then tells me, oh well that could have been fun to join in.
[SPEAKER_00]: So not only did I unintentionally miss a chance with her friend, but I also passed up what might have been my one and only opportunity for a three way.
[SPEAKER_00]: I still kind of regret not hooking up or dating the friend, but live and learn I guess.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirty-one.
[SPEAKER_00]: In freshman year of college, I met this nice girl who was way out of my league at the freshman orientation.
[SPEAKER_00]: We get to chatting and hang out a bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well one day she texts me.
[SPEAKER_00]: My roommate has gone all weekend, want to come over and watch a movie.
[SPEAKER_00]: Heck yeah, head on over that Saturday.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her Roku wasn't working.
[SPEAKER_00]: I ran back to my dorm, grabbed my Chromecast, ran back, got it working, and got the movie going.
[SPEAKER_00]: I sat next to her on the edge of her bed, watching the movie.
[SPEAKER_00]: We get through the whole damn movie without saying a single thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even have the balls to put my arm around her.
[SPEAKER_00]: The movie ends, I grab my Chromecast, get up and start to leave.
[SPEAKER_00]: Get just outside her dorm door, and she leans in and gives me a kiss.
[SPEAKER_00]: First kiss ever, awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just stumbled and said thanks, then wandered back to my dorm high on that kiss.
[SPEAKER_00]: I still haven't been laid to this day about to turn thirty next month.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh well, life goes on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirty-two.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I went to New York City for the first time, to visit a friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was thirty-one at the time, fresh off a rough breakup from an eight-year relationship that I once thought would be my forever.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a cup-boy week right around my birthday.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're at an amazing bar in New York City with a great group of friends, a few more friends show up, but there aren't enough bar seats.
[SPEAKER_00]: The woman sitting next to us is in the middle of dinner, but she graciously offers to slide over a couple of seats to help us out.
[SPEAKER_00]: So naturally, we decide to do some shots, and I offer her one as a thank you for making room.
[SPEAKER_00]: She says yes, and we start chatting casually.
[SPEAKER_00]: As a lifelong bartender, I like to think my personality and ability to connect with people are pretty solid.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I kept the conversation going, mostly to thank her again for being so kind and accommodating even in the middle of her meal.
[SPEAKER_00]: Among my first real trip after getting dumped from an eight year relationship, absolutely wrecked, trying to reclaim some kind of joy.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're at this great bar, and I end up talking to this woman who had kindly slid over during her dinner to make room for our group.
[SPEAKER_00]: out of nowhere she smiles and says, Hey, there's a dance floor downstairs.
[SPEAKER_00]: Want to go dancing?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's maybe twenty minutes before my actual birthday.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd mentioned it in passing and what does my brilliant emotionally concussed zero by ten intellect say?
[SPEAKER_00]: No thanks.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd like to dance.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should probably get back to my friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was really nice meeting you though.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks again for sliding over.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then I shook her hand, like a damn job interview and walked off.
[SPEAKER_00]: She paid her tab and left.
[SPEAKER_00]: Meanwhile, my friends called me every name under the sun for being an idiot, a coward, a robot, you name it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirty-three.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was doing an internship in New York City and had been hanging out with this girl for like three months while I was there.
[SPEAKER_00]: She would never let it go further than flirting and maybe holding hands or a long hug on the way to the subway.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was towards the end of the internship, and we were out with friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had drunk, and she hadn't, which was unusual for her.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I went to take her back to the subway, I said, you should stay the night, and she said, yes, I should.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was so thrown off.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hundred percent did not expect her to agree, because she had turned me down like ten to twelve times over the previous three months.
[SPEAKER_00]: She came up to my place, and I gave her a large t-shirt to put on.
[SPEAKER_00]: We then got into my bed, and I just couldn't make the move.
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt terrible that I was drunk, and she wasn't.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I did what any other guy would do in that scenario.
[SPEAKER_00]: I sang showtunes from the Broadway hit West Side Story.
[SPEAKER_00]: Turns out that didn't get me laid.
[SPEAKER_00]: We hung out a year later when we were both randomly back in the city, and I asked, were you down to getting laid that night?
[SPEAKER_00]: And she responded, of course, when you're a jet, you're a jet all the way.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't believe I screwed that one up.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirty-four.
[SPEAKER_00]: Twenty years ago, I had a girl call me that I was hooking up with and she told me her friend was at her house and was strongly hinting that they wanted to have a three way.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was very drunk at a party, and I drove with one eye open twenty minutes across the city to get to her house.
[SPEAKER_00]: I somehow managed to get to the house without crashing or getting a DUI.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we are all hanging out, and I ask if there is any grass.
[SPEAKER_00]: The friend says she has some, but it is very strong.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it indeed was.
[SPEAKER_00]: It put me straight into the spins, and I puked for like an hour.
[SPEAKER_00]: The girls held out hope for a while, but I was gone.
[SPEAKER_00]: The next morning, I woke up underneath the kitchen table at the house, full of shame.
[SPEAKER_00]: I quietly exited before anyone woke up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought about it for years.
[SPEAKER_00]: Still do sometimes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirty-five.
[SPEAKER_00]: A classmate I had, and still have a crush on Switch seats at dinner to sit next to me, chewing the last person who sat there, made me face her, and in very explicit terms told me they were titillating, thought I was handsome, etc.
[SPEAKER_00]: And could we please go bang right now?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even understand how I managed to talk myself out of the situation.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was so insanely flabbergasted that my brain just shut down in the moment past.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can only take solace in the fact we were both drunk, and it wouldn't have been right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirty-six.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had the biggest crush on my friend for years let's call her a. We had graduated from college, and gone our separate ways across the country.
[SPEAKER_00]: My then girlfriend and I were on a break, and have invited me to a party at her house, twelve hours away.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, of course, I made it happen.
[SPEAKER_00]: She offered to stay with her the night before and the night after.
[SPEAKER_00]: Easy, yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: The party happens with all of her work friends there, and a few old high school friends of hers, it's fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: It gets late.
[SPEAKER_00]: I met people had a good time and had a big drive the next morning.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm set to sleep on the couch when high school best friend of ace comes out and suggests that I go to her bed to sleep better.
[SPEAKER_00]: Despite everything working out very well for both of us, I really have no idea why I insisted on sleeping on the couch that night.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirty-seven.
[SPEAKER_00]: Probably the only moment like this in my life happened about five years ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: At the time, I had a membership at a luxury gym located inside a five-star hotel, which happened to be a hotspot for Israeli tourists visiting my city.
[SPEAKER_00]: My membership included access to the pool, so one evening after a workout, I went for a swim and noticed two women around my age relaxing in the jacuzzi.
[SPEAKER_00]: They looked a bit uncomfortable because an older man was lingering nearby, clearly making them uneasy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I casually joined the jacuzzi and placed myself between them, which thankfully led to the man leaving shortly after.
[SPEAKER_00]: They seemed grateful, and I tried striking up a conversation, though there was a bit of a language barrier.
[SPEAKER_00]: At the time I couldn't quite place it, but I later realized they were speaking Hebrew.
[SPEAKER_00]: Despite the awkward start, they seemed happy to talk to me and asked if I could help take some vacation photos.
[SPEAKER_00]: They were friendly, playful and full of energy, and the atmosphere was light and fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, I have jokingly suggested they show me around the hotel, trying to keep things going.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's when they asked me a question that took me a bit off guard.
[SPEAKER_00]: How old are you?
[SPEAKER_00]: I told them honestly, early twenties at the time, and the vibe shifted slightly after that.
[SPEAKER_00]: It felt like they had expected someone older, or maybe just weren't as interested once the mystery wore off.
[SPEAKER_00]: Things settled down from there, and after a bit more casual chatting, I politely excused myself and headed to the sauna to unwind.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story thirty-eight.
[SPEAKER_00]: Back in my twenties, I was working a lot, and with a group of young professionals who lived a work hard, play hard kind of life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was engaged to my college girlfriend, who had moved away to complete her PhD, so I partied hard with everyone but kept it innocent.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hosted a lot of parties at my condo.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was downtown, centrally located, and pretty spacious.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was always a good time.
[SPEAKER_00]: People often just crashed, sleeping on the couch, sleeping in the spare room.
[SPEAKER_00]: Heck, even sleeping in the kitchen, and yes, sleeping in my bedroom, but usually on the floor or my best friend sleeping in my bed.
[SPEAKER_00]: One night after the party, people were winding down and starting to crash.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was ready for bed and ended up in bed with a good female friend of mine and her best friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: I kept it careful and stayed on the edge of my side.
[SPEAKER_00]: I turned over for some reason and found myself almost spooning my friend who was in the middle.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was seemingly asleep, but took my hand and placed it across her on the chest of her friend on the far side and was being spooned by my friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: While I admit the whole situation was very exciting, I wasn't going to be that guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I pulled my hand away, got up and slept on the floor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, they were going for a three way.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the worst part about the whole thing?
[SPEAKER_00]: About a month or so later I found out my fiance admitted she was seeing someone else.
[SPEAKER_00]: And she wanted to break up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I keep thinking about what I missed out on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story-thirty-nine.
[SPEAKER_00]: It happened to me twice, both times with older women.
[SPEAKER_00]: The first one worked for a company contracted through the store.
[SPEAKER_00]: I worked at, she found me on Facebook, and we started to text over Messenger, and I knew most guys around the store wanted a piece of her.
[SPEAKER_00]: We flirted heavily.
[SPEAKER_00]: The day came when her two kids would be in school during the early afternoon, and she picked me up to watch a movie at her house.
[SPEAKER_00]: The whole time I was there she and I just talked about our lives and a few times we almost kissed but she did grab my cakes and I grabbed hers but I froze too much and the opportunity blew up in my face.
[SPEAKER_00]: The second one was a regular customer, a hijabi, gorgeous and slender but she had that fit mom bod picks our build with gorgeous brown eyes.
[SPEAKER_00]: A few times we had met up nearby where we live, to go for long walks and talk, which flirtation was again heavy, and at one point when we hugged, the softness of her body against mine, my dog twitches, and she felt it, which made her turn her look at me with an R-U serious.
[SPEAKER_00]: Look and then look away to have a flattered giggle.
[SPEAKER_00]: Time went by, and she invited me to her place to work on something on my laptop.
[SPEAKER_00]: We just sat relaxing and talking for nearly four hours, and just as it was getting late,
[SPEAKER_00]: I stood up to leave, and her eyes were getting visibly heavy.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I told her to get up to hug me before she fell asleep, which she did after I grabbed her from falling back again onto the couch.
[SPEAKER_00]: I put her arms around my neck and wrapped mine around her waist.
[SPEAKER_00]: Her sweet aroma of perfume she wore had me not wanting to leave.
[SPEAKER_00]: Amits the hug, she knew my hands were crossed right above her cheeks.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then she asked in my ear, what do you really think of my cake?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I wasn't sure if it was a genuine question, or a test to see if I grab it and lift her up to throw her on the couch.
[SPEAKER_00]: After a few seconds, I just said, you have a beautiful delicious cake, and then she pulled away.
[SPEAKER_00]: Looked me in my eyes with that look in hers, as though she wanted me to grab a handful and turned away from me, slapping it herself.
[SPEAKER_00]: I followed her to the front door, and we hugged again for several minutes, nearly kissing a few times, but I just held back, and then she looked at me again, kissed me on the neck, and I kissed her on the cheek, and then she left.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story forty.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had been seeing a girl for a couple of weeks, and it even made out a couple of times previously.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were alone in her room, and she literally looked me in the eyes and told me, we should bang.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had so little confidence then.
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought she was just messing with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: and I made an awkward excuse and left.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was going through some stuff then and was kind of crazy so it was maybe a good thing I didn't get involved but I was so attracted to her.
[SPEAKER_00]: A couple of years later she was on a much more even keel and she was giving me the same signals albeit less direct but I was with someone else at that point.
[SPEAKER_00]: I really regret missing out on an opportunity with her as she went in a really good direction and from what I can tell now is a really good person whereas the person I was with turned out to be a malignant narcissist that really screwed up my life in a lot of ways.
[SPEAKER_00]: The girl I had a huge crush on invited me back to her place, but she likes to tease, so all she said was that she lived near a school.
[SPEAKER_00]: I already knew what her car looked like, so all I had to do was snoop and knock at the door.
[SPEAKER_00]: She was telling me what she likes and bet too, and all that, but my job relocated me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then there are some other situations where girls dropped subtle hints that I came to pick up on later, such as asking me if I have plans tonight with a seductive tone, asking about body count with great interest, or rubbing themselves against me or themselves in front of me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hate that I'm completely oblivious to all this if I don't establish a connection with someone and already have interest built up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I never go into it on a whim or with strangers I've just met.
[SPEAKER_00]: Especially when it came to the girl who asked about my body count and what I was doing for Valentine's Day, I got caught up with something else that grabbed my attention, so I lost focus on the fact that she was trying to get me to set up a date and smash.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for watching.
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