WEBVTT

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[SPEAKER_02]: I thought I was abandoned because he didn't want me.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Come to find out that wasn't true.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I want them to know another side of their father.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And understand why I did what I did.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It wasn't because I abandoned them.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I didn't need it more than women are willing to accept the need for fathers.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Father's player, a major role in daughter's relationship.

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[SPEAKER_02]: As long as your seed is in the earth, it ain't over.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Who am I as the woman?

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[SPEAKER_02]: I am radical.

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[SPEAKER_02]: relentless and real, because I am on a mission to heal the souls of God's people.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I am a spiritual leader, a life coach, and an author.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But most of all, I am a warrior fighting for my legacy.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I face so many challenges, shares of betrayal, rejection, abandonment, all that left me wounded mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, life left me broke, busted and disgusted, but despite all those odds, divorces emotional damage, as well as despair, I did the work to heal myself, so that I may birth both miracles and live, prosperous them.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I am not living, I grew here, and now is your time to grow.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I am.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Dr. Duna Misty, and I am here to guide you on your journey of healing and transformation.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you all hear we are for another episode of healing for my soul podcast.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my God, it's getting what we say around here.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Good and good.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But right now it's going to be deeper and deeper because we are literally focusing on healing the hearts and the minds of our black men.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Let me tell you something.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I am very empathic about our black men because the things that they have actually been through, particularly from an enslaved standpoint, who?

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[SPEAKER_02]: can take all that pain and still stay.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Who can take all of that and still rise?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Lord, we got some more work to do, but yet at the end of the day, they're still here.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And so I have a dynamic man.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You all have seen him before my God.

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[SPEAKER_02]: He's going to come again and again, but here he is right now.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And that is the one and only Kevin Booker.

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[SPEAKER_02]: How are you Kevin?

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[SPEAKER_03]: I am well.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Thank you for having me.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You cannot feel to be back on the hill and for my soul podcast.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We just use and you will.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It's a hot scene.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's a hot seat.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But this particular, you know, this episode is healing the black man and his daughters.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's so much about you.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You've been on here with your wife in one season.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to talk about the black church with you.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, now we're going to talk about Kevin Booker and the healing that is taking place and how it is really transcends into the heart of your daughters.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Speak about that book.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So that has been a long journey for me with my daughters and the healing portion of that.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And they're just taking a lot of work, they're just taking a lot of growth from me, a lot of prayer, a lot of revelations, and a lot of self-assessment.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Things that I could have done better as a father, as a man, but not knowing I just didn't know some of the things that I needed to do to help them heal.

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[SPEAKER_03]: But through this process, what I've learned is that

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[SPEAKER_03]: My door does need me.

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[SPEAKER_03]: They need their father and then put in the before the end of the door to life.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So through just like a lot of prayer, like talking to you, communication, dialogue of my wife, opening up my heart.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And it's just saying that I was hurt, like I didn't know and I did some things incorrectly.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Let's talk about some of it because you're here.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I have had the privilege to get a little insight, but

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[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know anything about you and your daughters and your history.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so prior to me being married to my, I was married to my daughters mother for about maybe twelve or thirteen years.

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[SPEAKER_03]: We actually only live together for maybe about a year or two.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I would just say two years.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I was in the military.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I would come home whenever I wanted to.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So we had two daughters in that relationship.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And it got to a point where for myself, I just needed to be free from her.

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[SPEAKER_03]: The marriage wasn't a great marriage, no violence anything like that.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It's just that I grew her.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And for myself, I needed to step away.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I knew that that would hurt my daughters, but for my, I knew that I couldn't be a good father in that situation.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And for the best for my daughters and myself, I stepped away from the marriage.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that's when the distance grew between myself and my daughters.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Not just distance is for us living in a different space, a different state.

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[SPEAKER_03]: The distance grew between my daughters because the divorce got messy.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that was the retaliation that she took was to keep my daughters away from me.

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[SPEAKER_03]: through the divorce process, what I didn't understand, I was fighting to, I guess like just the divorce and it was just like the money part, but I lost the fight for my daughters in custody.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that's where I got really tricky and relationships got broken.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I cannot have a conversation with any of you all as black men and not see myself.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I believe that relationships, it doesn't, like I said, I'm not talking about intimate because definitely we'll never that and we'll whatever be.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But just having a relationship being able to express our hearts, we see ourselves.

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[SPEAKER_02]: If we could just sit down as a people and just have in-depth conversations, do you know how much we will see ourselves as opposed to talking about, and I would you, you with me, and things like that, keeping it pure and wholesome, because based upon what you said, so many mothers, including mine.

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[SPEAKER_02]: keep us away from our fathers, because of the brokenness that we experience or they experience in the relationship.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Using the daughter as a way to get back at you all.

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[SPEAKER_02]: How we could talk all day long what it does to us.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?

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[SPEAKER_02]: But as a black man, how does that really impede upon your heart?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Because I don't believe all fathers are abandoned just because they just don't want to take their responsibility.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, even though we divorced and everything, always felt empty.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I miss my daughters.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Like, we just had, I mean, it's just like something taken away from you.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I had already lost my mother.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So that was hard.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Then like, my daughters, like,

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[SPEAKER_03]: That was really hard.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And in the fact that they were kept away from me.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Like I'm fighting like these all these different systems, the core systems fighting her.

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[SPEAKER_03]: She's calling my command.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, it was just so messy and it didn't have to be because we weren't together.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I take ownership in the fact that I was providing comfort.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was in the military.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I had benefits.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that was something that she was going to lose.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Right.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And in that, when she felt like if she had to lose that, then I had to lose my children.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Do you know that's a pandemic within itself?

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Really explain what your heart is.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's just even thinking about it now.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We're not going to stay there, but what your heart is really feel revisiting that.

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[SPEAKER_03]: A lot of pain, a lot of anger, and for the life of me, I didn't know why.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, man, I mean, I did everything.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It was times that we drove from Virginia to just say we met in Georgia.

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[SPEAKER_03]: We would leave Virginia, we would get the Georgia, and she wouldn't show up with the kids.

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[SPEAKER_03]: You know, so it was just a lot of

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[SPEAKER_03]: back and forth.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, and I was like, hey, can I get the kids?

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[SPEAKER_03]: And it would always destipulations.

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[SPEAKER_03]: You can only get them two days.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I've to drive from Virginia to Georgia.

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[SPEAKER_03]: That's like almost ten to twelve.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, and only to get them for a day, then turn them right back around and drive.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, it was just a lot of things like that.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And by then, I had met my.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And once she found that out, it even got even rougher when you get another woman.

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[SPEAKER_02]: When you outmove on to another woman, it becomes particularly when our hearts are not healed.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We become more predictive.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Because something is going on in it, but it becomes more of an inflection on you all.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, and as well, she had moved on.

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[SPEAKER_03]: She had other men.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that's what I didn't understand.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, OK, well, you've moved on.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Why is it a problem that I moved on?

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I can't see my kids.

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[SPEAKER_03]: The kids were there living with a gentleman that she had.

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[SPEAKER_03]: But I couldn't see my kids because I had married.

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[SPEAKER_03]: We were even married at the time because I had my life.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I just didn't understand that.

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[SPEAKER_03]: But the kids became like the, um,

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[SPEAKER_02]: It is unfortunate and I want to go there a little bit deeper because you all we have to first of all not only heal but I believe exposed the subtleties of the enemy.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, we know that you are doing some amazing processes of healing, but we want to invite you to draw closer into our Junimus woman university.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That is the place to be to really dig deeper into discover who you are as the woman and go through a journey of your healing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Ma, what do you have some speak about, do you know what?

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[SPEAKER_02]: The healing power of God is all at work and doing something university.

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[SPEAKER_02]: That's where you do the work.

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[SPEAKER_02]: That's why we call it a university because we can talk all day long.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We can tell about this, tell about that.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But now it's time for you to do the work.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Dune Miss Woman University is there, to take you to another level, but most of all, for God to go deeper within your heart, your mind, and yourself.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so the doors are open, just go to www.DuneMiss WomanUniversity.com, and it rolls today and start the transformation that you need.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Because when relationships are strained, father, daughter, we don't realize how it affects them in their future.

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[SPEAKER_02]: As a father,

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[SPEAKER_02]: really wanting his daughters, never left the daughters, but left the relationship.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Then you are kept from them.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Stay with me, women.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But then another man come in and they're in the midst of your daughters.

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[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They're not raising them, they're just there.

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[SPEAKER_02]: What kind of thoughts is going on in your mind as a black man?

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[SPEAKER_03]: So my youngest daughter,

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[SPEAKER_03]: She really developed this thing for me, right?

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[SPEAKER_03]: Like she was really looking at that gentleman as her father.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that, I mean, she never, what happened was my daughter graduated from high school.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I was going to drive down to go and see her for a graduation.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And she told me she only had two tickets.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I said, OK, but that's fine.

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[SPEAKER_03]: One for your mother, one for me.

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[SPEAKER_03]: She was like, no, the ticket was for the other guy.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, wow.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And time, that relationship, my daughter, that is gotten better, but it's always like this buffer between us.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I'm trying to play ketchup, but I'm trying to give her her space.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I'm watching her grow.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And then like you said, like seeing yourself in her, we just visited her about a month ago.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And some of the things she was saying, I'm like, man, this is my child.

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[SPEAKER_03]: You know, this is my daughter.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You see yourself.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You hear yourself.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: That's your seed.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I believe that we really, in the black community, and I teach this so much, and you know, with the real authoritative men and doing them as woman, going back to the principle of us really understanding that you all, we have had the privilege of God permitting us to carry your seed.

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[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: When the black man sees not only his daughters, but his sons.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You're literally seeing seed in growth form.

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[SPEAKER_02]: What is that even for a black man, a father?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Really, just that principle, now you think about it that way.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So for me, it gives me pleasure, right?

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[SPEAKER_03]: I also remember you asked us to write a letter to my daughter's mother.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I wrote the letter.

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[SPEAKER_03]: You also said to call her and tell her that you appreciate it and honor her and tell her that you did a good job with the girls.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I did that.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I never forget.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, I kind of been blowing it off like, man, I'm not going to do it.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to do it.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to do it.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And then one day I was at the barber shop and I left.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I said, you know what I'm going to call?

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I called her.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And they really, it caught her off guard.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I say, I don't want anything.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate you.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And what you did for my daughters.

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[SPEAKER_03]: You know, because I couldn't keep on holding the grudge with that.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I did it.

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[SPEAKER_03]: We talked.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It wasn't a high school conversation.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It was really pleasant.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I said, I spoke my piece.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I said, that's all I really had to say.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And we got off the phone.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So Drew, like you, like giving me strength to make the call.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Do you know what that did to her heart in lieu of her own transgressions?

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, because as well, for Mother's Day, my daughter, my oldest daughter, has a daughter, my granddaughter, and I didn't have her phone number, my granddaughter's phone number.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I called her mother, my ex, and I said, hey, I was trying, my daughter told me that she would be with her grandmother that day.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I called her and I talked, I say, what are you doing for your mother for Mother's Day?

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[SPEAKER_03]: And she was like, well, I don't know.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I said, well, let me, she's, I was thinking about taking out a brunch.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I said, well, let me pay for the brunch for you.

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[SPEAKER_05]: Mother's Day given.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And the fact that she, she gave her the phone, she gave me her information.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I think that

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[SPEAKER_03]: The conversation is getting a little bit better.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not going to say she's beginning to heal.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Her heart is beginning to heal because I'm persistent with it.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It's not like I gave up.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I stayed in the fight for them.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You stayed in the fight.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I want to go right there, stay with the fight.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But before we go there, you all have to say this.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's time to heal.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We put so much emphasis on, oh, I'm married now to another woman or I got another man and I came talk to you no more and this woman is upset because you talk to your ex and this is upset because you talk to your ex, the enemy is steadily

15:21.755 --> 15:29.836
[SPEAKER_02]: bringing so much damages to our hearts because we have all these boundaries and these expectations that are false.

15:31.057 --> 15:37.038
[SPEAKER_02]: And the fight is always going to take place because at the end of the day until hearts heal, it ain't over.

15:37.698 --> 15:49.880
[SPEAKER_02]: So I really want us to really hear this heart because it's not only just about you and your daughters, what I'm listening to is you marry another woman in my isha who is encouraging you.

15:50.120 --> 15:50.340
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

15:51.527 --> 15:55.999
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay with you, not giving no backlash because of her healing.

15:58.357 --> 16:02.379
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm transparent, like when I called her, I told her, right?

16:02.999 --> 16:06.121
[SPEAKER_03]: When I wrote the letter, I let her see it, right?

16:06.421 --> 16:09.762
[SPEAKER_03]: And she's always been the support system for me as far as my kids.

16:09.802 --> 16:14.804
[SPEAKER_03]: She really, we were traveling from Maryland to coming back to Georgia.

16:15.264 --> 16:17.405
[SPEAKER_03]: And she was like, Booker, one of we stopped in Charlotte.

16:17.626 --> 16:19.626
[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, she said, why don't you call her Kai?

16:20.347 --> 16:21.547
[SPEAKER_03]: Let's go to the dinner.

16:22.027 --> 16:25.109
[SPEAKER_03]: So, and I was like, ah, she may be busy, but she was like,

16:25.749 --> 16:27.771
[SPEAKER_03]: Just call and see if she's busy, she's busy.

16:28.452 --> 16:31.695
[SPEAKER_03]: And we went in, we had dinner, her and her fiance.

16:32.456 --> 16:38.061
[SPEAKER_03]: So having that support system for me, I need that because sometimes I'll get into a shell and I'm like, you know what?

16:38.962 --> 16:42.145
[SPEAKER_02]: And we as women, when we are healed, we influence you anyway.

16:42.385 --> 16:42.606
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.

16:43.106 --> 16:43.867
[SPEAKER_02]: We're influential.

16:44.347 --> 16:47.551
[SPEAKER_02]: We can influence you all to do anything from a damage to a healing.

16:47.671 --> 16:51.855
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?

16:52.155 --> 16:55.358
[SPEAKER_02]: But what I'm saying is far as healing, we want to be that instrument.

16:55.378 --> 16:57.701
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm talking about here is what I believe in.

16:57.741 --> 16:59.442
[SPEAKER_02]: We're doing this woman believes in because

17:00.703 --> 17:02.525
[SPEAKER_02]: We know your story, you know, part of it.

17:02.565 --> 17:07.250
[SPEAKER_02]: You came in and your marriage mended, but at the end of the day, you're now a part of real authoritative men.

17:07.690 --> 17:09.832
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what we believe here, real authoritative men.

17:09.852 --> 17:12.995
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why you hear that means your authority matters in our lives.

17:13.495 --> 17:18.440
[SPEAKER_02]: And if that's not transiting, it's not for us to take that and say, be selfish, whether you my husband, you my man.

17:18.840 --> 17:22.784
[SPEAKER_02]: You had a relation beyond that outside of that, and that healing is still needed.

17:23.405 --> 17:25.707
[SPEAKER_02]: And I want to thank you because, first of all,

17:27.205 --> 17:30.127
[SPEAKER_02]: you as well as a host of other men that you all gonna continue to see.

17:30.627 --> 17:36.910
[SPEAKER_02]: Here is allowing me to teach you all about the kingdom and how healing literally takes place.

17:37.250 --> 17:43.073
[SPEAKER_02]: And for you to write that letter, now I know something y'all looked at me, Cagad.

17:43.694 --> 17:44.254
[SPEAKER_02]: What's she talking about?

17:44.294 --> 17:44.974
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?

17:46.695 --> 17:51.498
[SPEAKER_02]: As long as your seed is in the earth, it ain't over.

17:51.838 --> 17:52.078
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

17:54.258 --> 17:55.678
[SPEAKER_02]: out of sight is not out of mind.

17:56.298 --> 18:05.240
[SPEAKER_02]: And whatever it takes to not only win the soul of my daughter, because when you win the soul of her mother, you still win in the soul.

18:05.900 --> 18:07.580
[SPEAKER_02]: And healing the soul of your daughter.

18:08.260 --> 18:10.121
[SPEAKER_02]: That ain't gonna ever go no in.

18:11.581 --> 18:13.321
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, cause that will always be their mother.

18:13.641 --> 18:15.522
[SPEAKER_02]: And you will always be there.

18:15.962 --> 18:16.602
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on now.

18:16.662 --> 18:16.902
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.

18:17.302 --> 18:18.602
[SPEAKER_02]: You came nobody replace that.

18:18.662 --> 18:18.942
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

18:19.122 --> 18:21.123
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm over all this step in bonuses.

18:21.143 --> 18:22.043
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?

18:23.313 --> 18:24.014
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing wrong with it.

18:24.074 --> 18:27.578
[SPEAKER_02]: I respect every man who go in and take another man's responsibility.

18:28.479 --> 18:29.540
[SPEAKER_02]: But what about yours?

18:29.760 --> 18:30.020
[SPEAKER_08]: Yes.

18:30.501 --> 18:35.306
[SPEAKER_02]: It's our responsibility as women not to just cover your seat and say, forget the other one now.

18:35.767 --> 18:37.849
[SPEAKER_02]: I got the money, I got the bank account, I got it.

18:38.029 --> 18:39.771
[SPEAKER_02]: Cause I don't even know if people really look at it as seed.

18:39.831 --> 18:42.434
[SPEAKER_02]: Because even the word of God say, you will know them by their fruit.

18:43.325 --> 18:44.266
[SPEAKER_02]: Is the fruit corrupt?

18:45.326 --> 18:46.447
[SPEAKER_02]: Is the fruit damaged?

18:47.267 --> 18:49.969
[SPEAKER_02]: Because all it take is one bad apple to spoil what?

18:50.009 --> 18:50.629
[SPEAKER_02]: The whole bunch.

18:50.810 --> 18:53.211
[SPEAKER_02]: That means that's your legacy and your legacy and your legacy.

18:53.551 --> 18:55.572
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go back to the fight because I ain't forgotten about that.

18:58.834 --> 19:01.356
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a daughter of a father and I am his seed.

19:03.677 --> 19:04.378
[SPEAKER_02]: Similar story.

19:05.438 --> 19:06.539
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought I was a bet.

19:08.720 --> 19:11.282
[SPEAKER_02]: For years, decades, all my life.

19:12.282 --> 19:16.873
[SPEAKER_02]: going into the arms of men looking for love because I wanted my father.

19:17.856 --> 19:20.923
[SPEAKER_02]: But in my soul I thought I was abandoned because he didn't want me.

19:22.725 --> 19:24.085
[SPEAKER_02]: Come to find out that one true.

19:24.545 --> 19:25.266
[SPEAKER_02]: Does that make sense?

19:25.306 --> 19:27.066
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, similar to my story.

19:27.186 --> 19:28.206
[SPEAKER_02]: Similar to your stories.

19:29.067 --> 19:34.068
[SPEAKER_02]: The way that my mother had damages, and they had damages, I would have left you.

19:34.548 --> 19:34.788
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

19:35.168 --> 19:36.228
[SPEAKER_02]: But I get caught up.

19:36.388 --> 19:37.189
[SPEAKER_02]: Does that make sense?

19:37.229 --> 19:37.429
[SPEAKER_07]: Yes.

19:37.749 --> 19:47.331
[SPEAKER_02]: But then my mind went to after my healing processes and I realized that my mind went to the point, is why he didn't fight?

19:55.396 --> 19:57.959
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, so are you liking this episode?

19:58.119 --> 20:00.722
[SPEAKER_00]: Matter of fact, are you like love in this episode?

20:00.822 --> 20:03.225
[SPEAKER_00]: If so, then we want you to tell us.

20:03.385 --> 20:05.047
[SPEAKER_00]: I need you to like this episode right now.

20:05.147 --> 20:08.770
[SPEAKER_00]: I need you to drop a comment and tell us what you are enjoying about this episode.

20:08.790 --> 20:11.954
[SPEAKER_00]: But most importantly, I need you to subscribe to the YouTube channel, okay?

20:12.034 --> 20:15.638
[SPEAKER_00]: Do not miss a beat of what's happening in the Hilling for Maso podcast.

20:15.678 --> 20:16.719
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know what to do.

20:17.179 --> 20:18.479
[SPEAKER_00]: Like so, we know that you love it.

20:18.559 --> 20:25.061
[SPEAKER_00]: Comment down below and tell us what you love about it and then subscribe so you're never missing the episode that you truly cannot live without.

20:25.421 --> 20:26.781
[SPEAKER_00]: Now let's get back to your episode.

20:27.181 --> 20:27.701
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care.

20:27.721 --> 20:28.442
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.

20:29.522 --> 20:30.382
[SPEAKER_01]: You gotta fall for me.

20:32.183 --> 20:33.003
[SPEAKER_01]: You fall for me.

20:33.403 --> 20:33.583
[UNKNOWN]: Yes.

20:34.143 --> 20:34.443
[SPEAKER_01]: Why?

20:34.463 --> 20:41.925
[SPEAKER_03]: I fall for them because I didn't know my father, right?

20:42.825 --> 20:46.886
[SPEAKER_03]: And I could only imagine I felt abandoned then.

20:48.402 --> 20:52.106
[SPEAKER_03]: right, but I just turned to like sports and everything else, but I felt abandoned.

20:52.847 --> 20:56.772
[SPEAKER_03]: Then when I had to leave and leave my doors, I could only imagine.

20:57.533 --> 21:00.236
[SPEAKER_03]: And then it was put into their minds that I abandoned.

21:01.157 --> 21:01.998
[SPEAKER_03]: But I did.

21:03.380 --> 21:06.603
[SPEAKER_03]: I really, I financially, I took care of them.

21:07.244 --> 21:12.405
[SPEAKER_03]: but they would just put in, it was put in their mind that I left them for another one.

21:12.785 --> 21:15.285
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was, now I'm just trying to repair that.

21:15.865 --> 21:18.666
[SPEAKER_03]: Make that not be, make them realize that's not true.

21:19.486 --> 21:21.466
[SPEAKER_03]: Right, but it was a lot of hurt with that.

21:21.546 --> 21:23.727
[SPEAKER_03]: Like I had to hear it from them.

21:23.787 --> 21:28.028
[SPEAKER_03]: They had to release it from their souls, deep inside of them how they really felt.

21:28.628 --> 21:32.148
[SPEAKER_03]: And I explained to them that wasn't true, but that pain.

21:32.848 --> 21:35.969
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, my daughter, the youngest one, still harbors that pain.

21:36.829 --> 21:41.422
[SPEAKER_03]: and not understanding my side because I don't want to take, not that I don't want to tell.

21:41.803 --> 21:43.246
[SPEAKER_03]: She's only heard her mother side.

21:45.048 --> 21:48.411
[SPEAKER_02]: We as women are so influential, we could do more damage than we realized.

21:48.431 --> 21:48.651
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

21:49.252 --> 21:51.314
[SPEAKER_02]: We could do more damage to you all.

21:51.814 --> 21:58.580
[SPEAKER_02]: And this is why I want you all to hear me on this healing for my soul podcast, healing the hearts of not only our men, but their daughters.

21:59.001 --> 22:06.507
[SPEAKER_02]: We can be so influential that this damage is can go from their children and their children and their children, but what we are saying here, this stuff got to stop.

22:06.607 --> 22:06.888
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

22:07.308 --> 22:08.569
[SPEAKER_02]: The madness got to stop.

22:09.350 --> 22:10.371
[SPEAKER_02]: Because at the end of the day,

22:11.883 --> 22:14.145
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought about the question why he didn't fight for me.

22:15.106 --> 22:20.951
[SPEAKER_02]: But then I realized, instead of fighting, he went to what he needed to do to cover his pain.

22:21.391 --> 22:23.613
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm not saying he didn't, because a lot of stuff I don't know.

22:23.633 --> 22:26.415
[SPEAKER_02]: You said I'm saying a lot of stuff, we just don't know.

22:26.455 --> 22:28.737
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you all know how many secrets are in the grave?

22:28.817 --> 22:29.098
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

22:29.958 --> 22:32.140
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you all know how many lies are in the grave?

22:32.480 --> 22:35.103
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you know how many untold stories are in the grave?

22:35.743 --> 22:39.586
[SPEAKER_02]: But I come as a healing process to realize he did fight for me.

22:39.807 --> 22:40.047
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

22:40.803 --> 22:41.824
[SPEAKER_02]: He did fight for me.

22:42.724 --> 22:51.129
[SPEAKER_02]: He just had something else as we talked about in the episode, instead of really continuing because my mother can be a woohoo hell of wheels.

22:52.910 --> 22:53.831
[SPEAKER_02]: Black women?

22:54.091 --> 22:54.391
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

22:54.591 --> 22:55.672
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why I got to be healed.

22:55.832 --> 22:56.152
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.

22:56.372 --> 23:00.275
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to continue my healing as I could be hell on wheels if I am not healed.

23:00.355 --> 23:00.615
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

23:00.755 --> 23:02.736
[SPEAKER_02]: And in love with Christ, does that make sense?

23:03.137 --> 23:04.157
[SPEAKER_02]: And we hurt one another.

23:04.517 --> 23:06.999
[SPEAKER_02]: But at the end of the day, he went to the alcohol.

23:09.440 --> 23:10.601
[SPEAKER_02]: We go to certain things.

23:10.621 --> 23:11.322
[SPEAKER_02]: Is that makes sense?

23:11.362 --> 23:11.623
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

23:12.323 --> 23:15.667
[SPEAKER_02]: And then unlike yourself, because I want you to continue on.

23:17.269 --> 23:19.652
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I think this is so paramount as you move forward.

23:20.452 --> 23:22.475
[SPEAKER_02]: My father died prematurely at fifty-eight.

23:24.117 --> 23:25.278
[SPEAKER_02]: We were on our healing journey.

23:26.838 --> 23:29.739
[SPEAKER_02]: My kids was like, too, I think, our real was two.

23:29.879 --> 23:30.760
[SPEAKER_02]: Allison was four.

23:31.440 --> 23:35.962
[SPEAKER_02]: I was about twenty-five or something, and we were starting a healing journey.

23:36.883 --> 23:42.346
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, starting to relate, starting to hug, had a bronchitis attack.

23:43.346 --> 23:50.770
[SPEAKER_02]: The phone call that I got after I hugged him, I'll never forget January third, or whatever year that was a can go back now.

23:51.790 --> 23:53.511
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I got a call January fourth.

23:54.153 --> 23:57.434
[SPEAKER_02]: because the people knew me from where I worked and where he lived.

23:58.715 --> 24:00.496
[SPEAKER_02]: And they said, we just rushed into the hospital.

24:00.576 --> 24:02.117
[SPEAKER_02]: And when I got there, he was gone.

24:05.058 --> 24:06.539
[SPEAKER_02]: We didn't get a chance to continue.

24:08.279 --> 24:11.021
[SPEAKER_02]: He fought, but the healing was breached.

24:11.801 --> 24:14.862
[SPEAKER_02]: This is why I believe in my worship, with my heavenly Father.

24:15.423 --> 24:20.045
[SPEAKER_02]: Because what a Father on earth can't do and can't continue to do because of the life.

24:21.187 --> 24:22.387
[SPEAKER_02]: The Heavenly Father will.

24:22.968 --> 24:24.048
[SPEAKER_02]: But this ain't my story.

24:24.288 --> 24:24.528
[SPEAKER_02]: You.

24:25.729 --> 24:27.750
[SPEAKER_02]: As a father, you gotta continue on.

24:28.150 --> 24:28.450
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.

24:29.610 --> 24:31.231
[SPEAKER_03]: And I continue to fight for them.

24:32.492 --> 24:36.373
[SPEAKER_03]: I make it a priority of mine every week to reach out to them.

24:36.733 --> 24:39.755
[SPEAKER_03]: Calls, texts, mothers day.

24:39.975 --> 24:40.815
[SPEAKER_03]: I reach out to them.

24:42.015 --> 24:49.799
[SPEAKER_03]: I just realize that it's important for me to continue to fight, not to just, and I don't have to tear her down in my fight.

24:49.839 --> 24:50.639
[SPEAKER_02]: That's it right there.

24:51.743 --> 24:53.664
[SPEAKER_03]: So, I continue to fight for them.

24:53.764 --> 24:56.084
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, like, they have so much going on.

24:56.144 --> 24:58.725
[SPEAKER_03]: There is such a need for their father.

24:58.805 --> 25:04.146
[SPEAKER_03]: And I think they're just starting to realize that as they come into a womanhood, that there is a place for me.

25:04.746 --> 25:07.107
[SPEAKER_03]: No matter who you live with with your mother.

25:07.787 --> 25:11.148
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't have even any quarrels with the man, right?

25:11.308 --> 25:13.009
[SPEAKER_03]: My only concern is them.

25:13.309 --> 25:14.089
[SPEAKER_03]: Like my seed.

25:15.069 --> 25:20.352
[SPEAKER_03]: I love them and I pour into them and I want them to know another side of their father.

25:20.432 --> 25:22.833
[SPEAKER_03]: And understand why I did what I did.

25:23.274 --> 25:24.935
[SPEAKER_03]: It wasn't because I abandoned them.

25:25.095 --> 25:26.776
[SPEAKER_03]: I knew that she could take care of them.

25:27.176 --> 25:30.598
[SPEAKER_03]: She just had to find her strength to be able to raise them.

25:30.658 --> 25:32.959
[SPEAKER_03]: But for me, I needed to find myself.

25:33.079 --> 25:35.641
[SPEAKER_03]: I needed healing and I couldn't do the healing with her.

25:35.881 --> 25:37.482
[SPEAKER_02]: In that particular relationship.

25:37.622 --> 25:38.082
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, ma'am.

25:38.962 --> 25:45.324
[SPEAKER_02]: Before I have you eagerly speak to daughters who are void, the father may not have fought.

25:46.204 --> 25:47.364
[SPEAKER_02]: They may have never known him.

25:47.844 --> 25:50.025
[SPEAKER_02]: He may have went off with another woman.

25:50.645 --> 25:52.145
[SPEAKER_02]: They're still always healing needed.

25:52.926 --> 25:56.066
[SPEAKER_02]: But there's a flip side of the coin because so many fathers stay.

25:56.627 --> 25:56.907
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

25:57.527 --> 25:59.487
[SPEAKER_02]: The relationship is not healthy.

25:59.847 --> 26:00.087
[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

26:00.868 --> 26:03.728
[SPEAKER_02]: But they stay because of their children.

26:04.749 --> 26:06.049
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that does more damage.

26:06.289 --> 26:06.529
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.

26:07.762 --> 26:08.942
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that does more damage.

26:09.543 --> 26:10.303
[SPEAKER_03]: I do as well.

26:10.823 --> 26:18.906
[SPEAKER_03]: I know for me, I think this whole, everybody's life would have been different if I would have stayed.

26:19.887 --> 26:21.407
[SPEAKER_03]: My children would have grown.

26:22.768 --> 26:24.708
[SPEAKER_03]: They've done pretty well with their lives.

26:26.249 --> 26:29.233
[SPEAKER_03]: My ex wouldn't have become the woman that she has become.

26:30.154 --> 26:32.116
[SPEAKER_03]: I wouldn't have become the man.

26:32.496 --> 26:33.698
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

26:33.778 --> 26:43.950
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, you all, you are here and you have been watching this podcast and not only are you on a journey for your healing, but let me let you know you have started a movement in your life because you're showing me

26:44.450 --> 26:46.152
[SPEAKER_02]: on this healing for my soul movement.

26:46.412 --> 26:47.573
[SPEAKER_02]: So guess what I want you to do?

26:47.633 --> 26:48.814
[SPEAKER_02]: I want you to stay connected.

26:48.834 --> 26:52.517
[SPEAKER_02]: I want you to be a part of our healing for my soul movement.

26:52.897 --> 26:55.099
[SPEAKER_02]: Join the Facebook group right there.

26:55.279 --> 26:56.540
[SPEAKER_02]: I know you own Facebook.

26:56.740 --> 26:58.862
[SPEAKER_02]: So go in there, join that private group.

26:59.062 --> 27:00.804
[SPEAKER_02]: We have more discussions about healing.

27:01.064 --> 27:02.805
[SPEAKER_02]: We recap these episodes.

27:03.105 --> 27:10.632
[SPEAKER_02]: You've got to hear the heart of other women just like you who's saying, I am on this journey and I am on a move and I cannot turn back.

27:10.932 --> 27:11.913
[SPEAKER_02]: I look to see you there.

27:12.333 --> 27:13.234
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, I'm Pastor D.

27:14.615 --> 27:16.536
[SPEAKER_03]: So me leaving.

27:18.017 --> 27:21.860
[SPEAKER_03]: And as well, I'm able to compartmentalize like pain.

27:22.261 --> 27:25.123
[SPEAKER_03]: Like I knew that me leaving will be painful.

27:25.623 --> 27:30.287
[SPEAKER_03]: But I also felt that it was the best decision for everyone.

27:30.447 --> 27:32.028
[SPEAKER_03]: I didn't just consider myself.

27:32.629 --> 27:35.111
[SPEAKER_03]: I was like, man, I have to because they can't grow.

27:35.551 --> 27:36.372
[SPEAKER_03]: She can't grow.

27:36.752 --> 27:37.433
[SPEAKER_03]: I can't grow.

27:37.953 --> 27:39.214
[SPEAKER_03]: So I needed to do that.

27:39.474 --> 27:40.235
[SPEAKER_03]: And I think that

27:41.035 --> 27:47.522
[SPEAKER_03]: For men sometimes it can be that can be a challenging call, right, to make that decision to do that.

27:48.303 --> 27:56.792
[SPEAKER_03]: But when you really like really look at this and dial into this, you really realize that you're staying for all the wrong reasons.

27:57.153 --> 28:02.859
[SPEAKER_03]: And you're hurting your cause and more damage than you think, just by you being selfish and afraid.

28:03.719 --> 28:08.280
[SPEAKER_02]: And not only that covering up and masking, your own self.

28:08.440 --> 28:13.181
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're not whole and if you're not healed, your children are not going to be whole.

28:13.941 --> 28:28.524
[SPEAKER_02]: Because of my experience as a daughter with my father, it really, that was a rough decision, Kevin, to leave their father, Allison and our reels, because I didn't want them to experience what I experienced.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But if I had to chose me,

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[SPEAKER_02]: They wouldn't have been no good anyway.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I don't know what they would have been Lord Jesus.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?

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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what I would look like.

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[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So sometimes to heal, we gotta first hurt.

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[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't feel good to hurt somebody for you to get to what you got to guess.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But you can't heal when I hurt.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But the key is you all, let's not stay hurt.

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[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Let's heal.

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[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes to hurt someone is not the fact that you're trying to damage them.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You got to heal because if you're damaging me, what good am I?

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[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Staying in a relationship that's toxic.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Only to serve and save the children and they see that stuff in real life.

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[SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They see it, they see it.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So I come in everyone, just don't leave and go off and get somebody else and you just all jacked.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And then you got more babies.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And more babies.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And more babies.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Speak to that camera because my God, Kevin, I want you to stand in the gap for fathers because I believe that we're in the era of time that even when

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[SPEAKER_02]: in the Book of Malachi, the last words that was spoken before the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

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[SPEAKER_02]: He said, I'll turn the hearts of the fathers, back to the children, the hearts of the children, back to the fathers.

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[SPEAKER_02]: He didn't say to mothers, all these mothers, my babies, my babies, my daughter, my son, coveting my

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[SPEAKER_02]: You ain't get that sucker by yourself.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You ain't getting cheered by yourself.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You get that door to buy yourself.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But at the end of the day, there's a need for the fathers to rise up.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And because God is turning them back to you, all your hearts, and your hearts to him, he shut his mouth full of hundreds of ears and didn't say nothing else.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But now he's speaking loudly.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Healing is taking place, and I want you to speak to that camera as a father to women who are still daughters.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I would say that men are needed.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Men are needed more than women are willing to accept some women, not all women.

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[SPEAKER_03]: A willing to accept the need for fathers.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Fathers play a major role in daughters' relationship.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It matters to them.

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[SPEAKER_03]: They need for them.

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[SPEAKER_03]: The men that they select would be determined by the relationship they have with their fathers.

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[SPEAKER_03]: The stronger that relationship, the better decisions some of your daughters can make.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And unless I hold this grudge and keep on like belittling the man,

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[SPEAKER_03]: Like, sometimes men, they don't know how to fight.

31:08.621 --> 31:10.202
[SPEAKER_03]: They don't know how to get in that fight.

31:10.262 --> 31:17.525
[SPEAKER_03]: Not every man is a ram or has mama deed to be in the era, giving them, putting the batter in, he packed them, motivate them.

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[SPEAKER_03]: But don't destroy fathers.

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[SPEAKER_03]: They are needed.

31:25.027 --> 31:31.070
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you all, you may say, well, the father of my daughter's not around.

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[SPEAKER_02]: He left us.

31:33.511 --> 31:34.331
[SPEAKER_02]: He ain't come around.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I've been raising these kids.

31:37.142 --> 31:39.724
[SPEAKER_02]: I know it could become so taxing.

31:40.525 --> 31:41.906
[SPEAKER_02]: I know there's a lot of dynamics.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I could know there's a lot of variables to every situation.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Nobody's black and white.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But at the end of the day, what we can do is women.

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[SPEAKER_02]: As we constantly heal, we could pray for.

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[SPEAKER_02]: because the fathers is needed.

31:56.279 --> 31:57.279
[SPEAKER_02]: Our children are hurting.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Our daughters are hurting.

31:58.940 --> 32:01.562
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to go off and try to find a father in another man.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?

32:03.543 --> 32:06.904
[SPEAKER_02]: Unfortunately, the sex come with that because it happened with myself.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't want to give all myself away.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But hey, all the penis I need and we let's go.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?

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[SPEAKER_02]: So we cover up a lot of stuff.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But at the end of the day, let's rise up ladies, black men, black women.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Let's not keep shifting the blame, point in the finger.

32:22.609 --> 32:29.095
[SPEAKER_02]: We're all hurting, but as a woman, who understand as a daughter, the necessity of the father,

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[SPEAKER_02]: He might not be around on the earthly ramp.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know where some of your fathers are or the father of your children, but I know that I have any father will never leave us.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I know that he will never forsake us.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I know that he's seeking for worshipers who will say, can you worship on their behalf?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Because if I can't get to them in the daughter, can't get to them.

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[SPEAKER_02]: He will always get to them.

32:49.432 --> 32:51.253
[SPEAKER_02]: Healing is the children's spirit.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Healing is needed and it's not limited to one or two is for us all.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, Kevin Booker.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Thank you.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for your transparency.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Once again, I think you may be back for some of them.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Have a blessed day.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Stay tuned for the next week.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I love you all.

