[SPEAKER_02]: My name is Aurora, and my pronouns are he, him.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm the writer and producer of the Dungeon and Dragons podcast, God's Fall.
[SPEAKER_04]: My name's Dylan.
[SPEAKER_04]: My pronouns are he, they, and I'm a physicist from Canada.
[SPEAKER_04]: Welcome to Kill Every Monster.
[SPEAKER_02]: No guest has ever jumped in and done it, but I think that's hilarious that you're like, wait, should I do it too?
[SPEAKER_07]: Kill Every Monster.
[SPEAKER_02]: This week on Kill Every Monster, we are featuring Awakened Trees.
[SPEAKER_04]: At the Monster Manual describes the waken trees as trees that have been awakened.
[SPEAKER_04]: By the Spell of Waken.
[SPEAKER_02]: We are joined by Onica.
[SPEAKER_02]: Onica Cilla is the brand director for Hero Forge, a browser-based character creator that lets you create custom minis for tabletop gaming.
[SPEAKER_02]: Outside of a day job, she's also a writer, stand-up comedian and TTRPG designer.
[SPEAKER_02]: Keep up with her on twitter.com, slash a and ica, c-i-h-l-a.
[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to the show, Anika.
[SPEAKER_07]: Thank you so much for having me.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm so excited to talk about the most interesting, and many would say, most dangerous monster to ever exist.
[SPEAKER_04]: The most dangerous game.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the most dangerous game of who can stand still the most.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's that game where you just have to freeze.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to win every time.
[SPEAKER_02]: But the question after you first is, how many hero forge minis do you have?
[SPEAKER_07]: Um, and it is this guy.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm gonna start silently holding up all of my hero forge minis and the audience if they're true role players can just use their minds.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'd picture what they look like.
[SPEAKER_02]: Perfect for a podcast.
[SPEAKER_07]: I have so many I probably would say that in terms of like the ones that are either like display minis or just minis of like characters I've made or characters that I've played I'd probably say like the world.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, but then I have
[SPEAKER_07]: like, fifty of them that are like test prints or just ones where take care of your minis folks.
[SPEAKER_07]: But these are the ones that it's like, yeah, this one's kind of in a drawer somewhere because it was one that was like a backup for a painting stream or something.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I do have a lot of a bunch on the the wall behind me.
[SPEAKER_07]: Many have made myself, but there's a ton of community made ones as well.
[SPEAKER_07]: We had a contest on the Hero Fortune Twitch stream once where people made a bunch of moth
[SPEAKER_07]: Men, and I'm a big, I'm a big cryptid fan.
[SPEAKER_07]: I have a mothman plus you're right behind me.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I just, I have a bunch of mothmen that people in the community made because they were so beautiful.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think it was technically the exact prompt was biblically accurate, seraphim mothman.
[SPEAKER_07]: So they're like mothmen, but in this like very imposing way.
[SPEAKER_07]: So point big, I have a very large amount made by people.
[SPEAKER_07]: You can always tell the ones that are made by the community because they're
[SPEAKER_07]: beautiful and engaging and beautiful and minor just like it's just a barbarian.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's got a sword.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think the mark my place on the map.
[SPEAKER_07]: I play peer strength builds all the time.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm like, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_07]: I just think it's kind of fun to hit stuff.
[SPEAKER_07]: And all of my characters look like they have a lot of fun hitting stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: People turn to me and they're like, well, it's a fancy game.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't want to do more a fantasy.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, someone physically fit with good health is a fantasy.
[SPEAKER_02]: My life, that is directly opposite of me.
[SPEAKER_02]: I will enjoy playing in that fantasy.
[SPEAKER_07]: for about like a decade I've been doing boxing.
[SPEAKER_07]: I've moved more into Moitai recently and something that I actually really love about playing martial classes is that when if you've ever heard me play if you've ever played with me, I'm not very good at like
[SPEAKER_07]: conversational RP.
[SPEAKER_07]: I know that about myself, like I find just being onica is RP enough.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm like, okay, talk, do you speak and yes and and okay, we're having it's transaction.
[SPEAKER_07]: You need my money.
[SPEAKER_07]: I need my goods or service.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's impossible.
[SPEAKER_02]: I spend every day role playing myself.
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't really understand that.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's exactly it.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm not good at the RP and I always feel like it's important to own that because I think especially because we are around so many, you know, you've had some incredible TTRPG players just mind-blowingly good ones on the podcast.
[SPEAKER_04]: There's as many performers and I'm a guy tried as best speaking of fascinating and dynamic combat trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: Do you know something I something I've thought about a lot since I was like a teenager probably the first time ever smoked weed this feels like one of those thoughts, but it is wild that we mostly cannot punch a tree to death.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think about that a lot.
[SPEAKER_07]: So you two are sitting here with this smug look of trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know how many enemies?
[SPEAKER_07]: You know how many monsters in the monster manual you can punch the death?
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's try.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry.
[SPEAKER_02]: Even a ghost.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can punch a ghost to death if you're really trying.
[SPEAKER_07]: I did, okay, sorry.
[SPEAKER_07]: We're so lucky we didn't do ghosts for this one because I ghosts are my like capital S special interest and I was like, well, it kind of depends on whether it's like, you know, it depends on kind of the type of ghost because if it's like a poltergeist, so it's actually don't have manifestations with them.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm so glad we didn't do ghosts.
[SPEAKER_02]: But you're right, with these trees, like, can you put a lot of drama?
[SPEAKER_04]: Before we do that, I have to say the sentence.
[SPEAKER_04]: What is an awakened tree?
[SPEAKER_04]: We only have three questions.
[SPEAKER_04]: I got to ask.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm going to go with we talked about the specifics and I'm going to go with trians because this kind of loops into some other IPs as well.
[SPEAKER_07]: And there's different like lore behind trians.
[SPEAKER_07]: So if you're like your D&D one where it's usually just like a tree that magic or
[SPEAKER_07]: magic or vibes or, you know, the one true Judeo Christian God kind of depending on what your vibe is is like this tree is so cool.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's like when you find a really cool stick on the beach and you're like this one's so cool.
[SPEAKER_07]: I want to bring it to life.
[SPEAKER_07]: So oftentimes, trance or just like in like D&D lore, they're just kind of like a cool tree comes to like a tree.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're so cool.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're just spontaneously generating consciousness.
[SPEAKER_07]: Well, it's interesting because like trance and wow are technically elementals, which doesn't really align with like trance and d and then you have ns and lord of the rings who
[SPEAKER_07]: Just they're also kind of vibing.
[SPEAKER_07]: I really think trians are just like trees with that prep past the vibe chuck.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like I really think of them.
[SPEAKER_07]: Trians are just uh, brat trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: Is that?
[SPEAKER_07]: Or do I say their brat trees?
[SPEAKER_07]: Shortest podcast episode ever.
[SPEAKER_07]: We can call it there.
[SPEAKER_07]: Tree is breath.
[SPEAKER_04]: There's a line in the description in the monster manual that it's just, it's the thing that really threw me off the most is just a tree destined to become a tree and meditates through a long cycle of seasons.
[SPEAKER_04]: And this implies that the regular not awakened tree, just the trees can elect a meditate.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can walk up to it and like wizard it and boom, it's in a way can treat, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Or there's the slow process.
[SPEAKER_02]: So maybe there over a nexus point of magic, maybe there's just so much elven magic in these woods.
[SPEAKER_02]: So just it like it slowly filters, it slowly seeps and it's it's almost like they wake up over decades, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: So there's like this slumber before.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's the dream, there's the dream space of trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: And this is not necessarily aligned with like the official monster manual, but I love trans as any sort of like protectorate of the forest.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think any sort of like nature protector, I'm always like, yeah, that's pretty cool.
[SPEAKER_07]: Still never play druids, but you know, that's fine.
[SPEAKER_07]: Love that, love the what they're doing.
[SPEAKER_07]: I specifically love the trope of like sort of the Lorax.
[SPEAKER_07]: mentality towards trance where it's like nature has has gained sentience to to punish human hubris.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think that's always and that's not necessarily like the most accurate lore, but I do kind of like trance.
[SPEAKER_07]: The idea for me of one, like if I was to write one in a campaign where it's like, yeah, trance like pretty mad that you guys cut down the forest.
[SPEAKER_07]: So we're gonna kill everyone
[SPEAKER_07]: And they can't, and no one can even punch them to death, so they're basically unstoppable.
[SPEAKER_04]: The only mode of combat in D&D, punching to death.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's all you can do.
[SPEAKER_04]: The whole party amongst, yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's all we got.
[SPEAKER_07]: I already established that's all I know.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it does feel like the trees could be kind of like the white blood cells of a forest that they just naturally occur when a forest needs to defend itself.
[SPEAKER_07]: of the difference between trance and awakened trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: Triants are, they're specified as awakened trees that dwell in ancient forests.
[SPEAKER_07]: So trance are just redneck awakened trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like I love that they are just like hanging out, deep in the woods, doing, I mean, I grew up in rural Wisconsin, so probably doing what my friends were doing when we were growing up in like a rural place on picture and trance.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know, giving each other's stick and poke tattoo, shotgunning PBRs, like getting high in the camart parking lot, doing whippets in the camart parking lot, drinking mad dog forty forty in the camart parking lot.
[SPEAKER_02]: Doing that dance where their legs move, but the upper body does it stays perfectly still.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're great at that.
[SPEAKER_07]: Exactly doing doing the soldier boy dance like in the Kmart parking lot like doing all the things that we were doing in rural Wisconsin It would definitely be carved in tattoos like mom and a heart yeah
[SPEAKER_04]: I do have to point out though, like the ancient forests in D&D are also like not necessarily isolated, because nine times out of ten, that's where the fucking elves are hanging out.
[SPEAKER_04]: So, the trance are like even odds, either like these weird red neck, like no one has been here in a thousand years, and like the two trance that have woken up here have their own little culture to them, or one of them woke up and immediately an elf was like,
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, a two hundred-year-old oak.
[SPEAKER_04]: I guess you think you're special.
[SPEAKER_04]: And some hanging out with them.
[SPEAKER_02]: I get, you know, they prune me and give me water.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's fun.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like having a dog.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just playing with all the little young elves is basically doing child care for them.
[SPEAKER_02]: More apples, but...
[SPEAKER_07]: So you talked about pruning and something that I've been thinking about a lot.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I follow a lot, a little bit of Anika lore is that I take Ambien to sleep and this is going somewhere.
[SPEAKER_07]: But what ends up happening is that I take my Ambien and then I forget like the two hours before bedtime because I have terrible insomnia and I still don't go to sleep until super late.
[SPEAKER_07]: So what I do is I end up on reddit in like the weird corners of reddit and I end up following them on just subreddit and then I'll be like on reddit not on ambient.
[SPEAKER_07]: I really like why did I follow this and I followed a bunch of barbarist and three law subreddit, which if you think like it's
[SPEAKER_07]: fascinating.
[SPEAKER_07]: And if you think like the next door app is really good for like gossip and drama, go to the tree loss subreddit, especially for like your local neighborhood.
[SPEAKER_07]: People got really bad opinions on trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's beautiful.
[SPEAKER_02]: They do, but some of those Treylock people, not like, especially when you, if you live in a city, Treylock is really important.
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, it was important during the actors strike, because they chop down all those trees that were giving them Shane had to pay a huge fee for that.
[SPEAKER_07]: And a Treylock would probably have just killed him for doing that, which is cool.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, as a normal human being, I wanted to kind of kill someone for doing that, so I couldn't imagine that the, can imagine the Treylock would be really mad.
[SPEAKER_07]: And, okay, so for example, say you were a horrible, terrible studio, and you illegally pruned some trees, and a tree end came and killed you about it.
[SPEAKER_07]: According to tree law, and I can only, I'm working on the assumption, because I learned a lot about Ontario tree law.
[SPEAKER_07]: I have to assume that Ontario is very similar to Feirun.
[SPEAKER_07]: So we're just gonna go with that.
[SPEAKER_07]: One to one, basically.
[SPEAKER_07]: if a tree and kills you on your own property, the tree ends actually not to blame because it's the property owner that's in charge of care of a tree.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm just saying if you have an adventuring party and say you have like a land owner that you want dead, if you just sort of goad a tree and into their space and have it kill them,
[SPEAKER_07]: to no fault.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's basically no fault.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's natural causes if I've ever heard of it.
[SPEAKER_07]: In an army of trance that you can just sort of send towards landowners.
[SPEAKER_07]: They have to be landowners, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're all evil.
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's fine.
[SPEAKER_07]: The best way to kill landlords is head into the like rural Arkansas of favor and get
[SPEAKER_07]: like we'll just like put down just again pretending that tree answer like they're the rural way countries so they're a little bit redneck and I say this as someone who grew up as a redneck you just put down a trail of like chewing tobacco and they'll kind of just like follow it out
[SPEAKER_02]: right into the castle in the rural areas that works out well in the suburbs it's going to be hard because there's all those like little decorated maples that aren't like you know that are just barely trees really just there for a little bit of shaded design that's whack at the windows but in the rural areas that's going to be effective that's sure those are the trees you can punch to death and therefore they don't just whack at the windows even even the maples
[SPEAKER_04]: pre-answer siege monsters.
[SPEAKER_04]: They deal double damage against structure.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's fair.
[SPEAKER_04]: They do more damage to houses.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: They can touch your house so good.
[SPEAKER_02]: They can punch your house good.
[SPEAKER_07]: But if they punch your house and you own the land, you cannot retaliate.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, you can because like if a tree falls on your house, you can cut that shit up at the tiny little pieces, but you can't like take it to court.
[SPEAKER_07]: True.
[SPEAKER_04]: However, unless it's an endanger to be fair, this is very much like the whole like to steal Brennan Lee Mulligan's John Wick Hotel bit, you know.
[SPEAKER_04]: The laws are you can't do murders inside the assassin hotel, but also you can't do murders anywhere guys.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like that's not a new rule.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's just laws.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can't take a treat accord if it falls on your house like bud.
[SPEAKER_04]: You couldn't now.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can't drop it up though.
[SPEAKER_03]: There have been situations where animals were brought to court.
[SPEAKER_07]: That has actually happened.
[SPEAKER_07]: Well, it depends.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I was also witnesses and as a defendant.
[SPEAKER_07]: I didn't know that's a real.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, there was like that famous murder case where a, uh, a great parrot was like, don't kill me.
[SPEAKER_07]: My name's Dave, and I'm about to die.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, something like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like a murder she wrote episode.
[SPEAKER_03]: One of the most important ways you can use trans and yard D&D games, bring them into court to testify.
[SPEAKER_04]: Actually, I say that as a joke.
[SPEAKER_04]: Holy shit, that'd be like ancient crimes.
[SPEAKER_04]: They saw everything.
[SPEAKER_04]: They were just there the whole time.
[SPEAKER_07]: Well, let's, I, I was looking into which, which trance are you allowed to kill and which ones aren't you?
[SPEAKER_07]: Because if it's an endangered tree ant, if it comes into your house and you own the land it's on, and it kills you, you can't do anything about it.
[SPEAKER_07]: So it's reading about endangered trees again, assuming Feyruman and Ontario are one of them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly the same.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_07]: The primary list of endangered trees are based on what's called vascular plants.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's just like the type of tree type of plant that they are.
[SPEAKER_07]: So now we have vascular trance.
[SPEAKER_07]: We have rural trance.
[SPEAKER_07]: So we are talking about jacked redneck awaken trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: Just like huge vascular muscles.
[SPEAKER_07]: Just like walking into your house beating this shit out of you is your laying bed and then walking out and because you had to go in by a house because you have a stable income and now you deserved it.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's nothing you can do about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, your house is made out of like three other friends.
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're here for revenge.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like that elephant that killed that woman that was abused again.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then came and fucked up her fear little just like that.
[SPEAKER_04]: Actually, if they were in an Ontario or functionally the same and we're looking at muscular rednecks, good old boys who are really just sort of trying to defend the proper sort of order of things and who will pick a fist fight at the drop of hat, we've gotten to let her come.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think you're gonna go in like the like the truck convoy direction.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, no, no, no.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm talking about good people.
[SPEAKER_07]: Okay, good old boy always makes at least just like an American implant.
[SPEAKER_07]: It makes me think of like good old boy is like GOP sort of thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: A good old boy in Ontario is just decent folk in the county.
[SPEAKER_04]: Just good.
[SPEAKER_04]: If you don't live in the county, they're the good old boys.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you do live in the county, they're just your friends.
[SPEAKER_02]: All I've seen now are like three are like three like the progress rolls up on a on a trio of trance and like they just square up, but they're not fighting.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're just like throwing out one liner jokes left and right, just making fun of these humans that have wandered into their woods.
[SPEAKER_02]: I could see that.
[SPEAKER_07]: I need everyone who adds trance into their campaigns going forward.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's just it's a yoked redneck tree if there are any elves around.
[SPEAKER_07]: They hate it.
[SPEAKER_07]: Okay, they hate.
[SPEAKER_07]: This is like Beverly Hillbilly's like they are just so upset at their hate neighbors.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's what elves big big elf doesn't want you to know that elves actually secretly hate trance because they are salt of the earth.
[SPEAKER_02]: Elves are like Ivy League students.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the trees have just been living there.
[SPEAKER_07]: And the trees are like trans or vibe and they're happy.
[SPEAKER_07]: They're one of like, I'm clearly biased because I grew up in the rural Midwest, but like most rural people I know are just like cool, they're chill, they're vibe and you know, and I recognize that like my experiences are biased because I grew up there and I'm white and I have a lot of like things that can
[SPEAKER_07]: make people be nicer to me.
[SPEAKER_07]: Um, but I just, I'm not when I talk about like yoke redneck trance that's nowhere is that coming from a place of like
[SPEAKER_07]: like, oh, yeah, these dumb hicks, like, no, most most rural people I've met know how to do so much in life that I do not.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're physically fit because they just do things.
[SPEAKER_02]: They physically do things that are hard.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's all.
[SPEAKER_02]: They just have physical ability to them.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I just, I love them.
[SPEAKER_07]: And they also have a deep knowledge of Trela.
[SPEAKER_04]: You want a bunch of players walking into the clearing and a massive tree just gone.
[SPEAKER_04]: Hurry now.
[SPEAKER_04]: How's your mom?
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah, of course I know your mom.
[SPEAKER_03]: How long do you think I've been here?
[SPEAKER_02]: The trees see it as a forest.
[SPEAKER_02]: The elves see it as a garden.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's the primary disconnect between the two of them.
[SPEAKER_02]: The elves think this has to be maintained.
[SPEAKER_02]: The trees are like we've been doing just fine without your bud.
[SPEAKER_07]: Hey, hi, hi.
[SPEAKER_07]: How's it going there?
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, you know, we kind of got a rule around here that you just sort of live and let live.
[SPEAKER_07]: And you know, we're kind of just doing our own thing over here and you know,
[SPEAKER_07]: last year, it's very clear that you want to be doing your thing over here as well, but you know, you don't really get into your neighbors, you know, business around here.
[SPEAKER_04]: We say this, but one of the last bits in the description in the monster manual, specifically like if you have lumberjacks in their coming in, they're just, you know, taking what they need, leaving the healthy trees alone, you know, grabbing any trees that are like already sort of falling over, dying, like just doing reasonable
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's yours.
[SPEAKER_04]: So good, sir.
[SPEAKER_07]: I grew up in a mill town.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I have this like, I realize, and as we talk through this, it like, I sort of picked Triant because my, I was like hyper fixating on Trila as of late, but I'm realizing that I actually have like a very strong connection to like,
[SPEAKER_07]: trees in general and I love that is that's another trope that I really love is the like a tree ant is not just like hey if you enter my forest I'm a fuck you up don't do that but the whole like hey we are living in harmony that's chill that's fine oh we're getting a little disharmonious oh man y'all are making me have to do something about this alright let's go I'm gonna punch you to death because I can do that it takes me forever to get blood out of my leaves but I guess we're here
[SPEAKER_04]: And I too really love this space, like this carve out that you've got for the trance being a little bit more, you know, a little bit more rural, a little bit more backwoods of like everything else is either like vaguely anti-indigenous kind of racist, like the noble savages.
[SPEAKER_04]: Or you've got the dry ad where it's this beautiful, serene nature spirit.
[SPEAKER_04]: And just like I said, that idea that just sitting there by the fruit stands, doing all right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I even, cool.
[SPEAKER_04]: Uh, yeah, no.
[SPEAKER_04]: Uh, Frank over there.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's definitely dying.
[SPEAKER_04]: So if you need a fire, yeah, you take him.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's doing good.
[SPEAKER_04]: Frank, you okay with dying?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm okay with dying.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I do love the idea of a treat with a little fruit stand.
[SPEAKER_02]: It just just collected what it's got for the day and has them all lined up next to him.
[SPEAKER_07]: It just doesn't little shimmy if it's like, hey, you got some hazelnuts?
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just saying to her.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hold out your bag, eh?
[SPEAKER_04]: This is my perfect transition point for the record into our second question.
[SPEAKER_04]: Our trance monsters.
[SPEAKER_04]: No.
[SPEAKER_04]: third question.
[SPEAKER_07]: I was thinking about that because like how do you and I feel like I we keep hopping from like riffing to to more serious stuff like I you know listening through other podcasts episodes and wonderful wonderful guests but have you ever talked about like how do you officially define
[SPEAKER_07]: monster.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like how do you two define monster?
[SPEAKER_04]: Dylan's got this down.
[SPEAKER_04]: So for me, one of the major things is it's an intersection between intelligence and malice, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Like there's a little venn diagram of like a wolf will kill in each you.
[SPEAKER_04]: There's no malice there and it's not doing it like on purpose to hurt you.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's doing it because food anyway.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then you have things like, I even have a hard time with stuff like devils where they are like pure like buy definition evil.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, or you get people, people aren't monsters, people can choose to be evil, but like,
[SPEAKER_04]: they're making choices.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can't say people are evil.
[SPEAKER_04]: That guy is evil, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: So for me, one of the things that defines a monster is that innate intersection of being intelligent enough to be like actively making choices, but to also have that sort of innate cruelty of like, no, these things want you dead cause fuck you.
[SPEAKER_07]: as a natural-born contrarian, I'm of course immediately going to like, well, what about this serial killer who was actually a monster or the other direction of like, individuals are monsters, absolutely, but not all people are monsters.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, yeah, that guy's a fucking monster, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe this one trees a jerk.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, and it's easy to go to the, when you're trying to think of like, something is vague as like, what makes something a monster?
[SPEAKER_07]: And you're incredibly good definition, Dylan.
[SPEAKER_07]: Sometimes thinking of the extremes is the easiest way to see if you agree or disagree.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm thinking like, oh,
[SPEAKER_07]: or thinking, you know, like, well, can people be born fundamentally evil?
[SPEAKER_07]: And I don't think so.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's a question that I, I don't want to tackle, but like, but then also something that's, we don't have to.
[SPEAKER_07]: We're talking about trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, but no, but this is helps me understand what I think about trees because in the other direction is like, can something be physiologically monstrous?
[SPEAKER_07]: Like,
[SPEAKER_07]: I, so I have house synopedes and
[SPEAKER_07]: Very evil.
[SPEAKER_07]: They're chilling.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know, I saw a baby one in my basement the other day and it like I turned on the light and it panicked and it like went and tried to hide under like a cable on the ground and it was doing that thing where like just it's face was hidden but it's butt was sticking out and it was such a like I was like, oh, you know, I know you're gonna get huge and scary but right now you're tiny and.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's a thing that should be cute if it weren't.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, but it was kind of cute because it was small.
[SPEAKER_07]: When I see a full-size house centipede, I feel like I am seeing something monstrous.
[SPEAKER_07]: I have the same physiological responses.
[SPEAKER_07]: If I saw something a movie monster or whatever, does your reaction to something versus its intention factor into monstrousness?
[SPEAKER_04]: I think the intersection right there on the head is like,
[SPEAKER_04]: is it monstrous, but is it a monster?
[SPEAKER_04]: Like you could make it very easy case that like a doppelganger in its innate form is going to appear monstrous, but also that's a guy that's just a fella.
[SPEAKER_02]: But they're scary to us.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like they hit some sort of uncanny valley that frightens us, but it doesn't make them a monster.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I don't think they're monsters.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I'm curious how many of your past, like what percentage of your past episodes have you decided that the monster was a monster?
[SPEAKER_02]: Very few.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like less, less than I expected going in.
[SPEAKER_02]: Most of our creatures are not monsters.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're animals or dudes.
[SPEAKER_02]: But that's kind of most of them.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're even some that like, where like, I disagree with the guests.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like,
[SPEAKER_04]: That being said, it's their episode.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're the voice now.
[SPEAKER_04]: They get to say, I don't get a vote.
[SPEAKER_04]: But like, you could very easily make the case for stuff like vampires, where it's a cursed person.
[SPEAKER_04]: I can't remember what Sharon said on that particular episode.
[SPEAKER_04]: That was God fucking seventy five years ago at this point.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I think Sharon said they are monsters in the embrace.
[SPEAKER_02]: I believe that's what it was.
[SPEAKER_07]: consent to that one feel so important because it's like are you a vampire and loving it?
[SPEAKER_07]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_07]: We're off.
[SPEAKER_07]: I just I love talking about this.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, I think that's where we arrived on it.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think I think sure on basically said they are not monsters, but what we were talking about is like there's a point in being a vampire.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're because you must be feeding because you must be consuming and keeping yourself alive.
[SPEAKER_04]: You have to become a monster.
[SPEAKER_04]: If you were a vampire spawn, if you were a new vampire, you were very likely a fell in unfortunate circumstances.
[SPEAKER_04]: But by the time you're Dracula living in a castle, like there's no arguing anymore, bud.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think anything that is that lives forever necessarily, well, becomes monstrous, but isn't a monster, just because you have to lose your humanity to not go insane.
[SPEAKER_07]: Again, this isn't about trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: This is not about trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: Trees, not monsters.
[SPEAKER_07]: Trees, not monstrous.
[SPEAKER_07]: Here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: It also is because trees will live for a thousand years.
[SPEAKER_04]: You could have a tree at redwood that's like been wandering around since fucking medieval period.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like tree beard, which I guess strictly is like there's been there forever.
[SPEAKER_07]: Thirty years older than an elf.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, tree beard is allegedly the oldest thing in Middle East.
[SPEAKER_07]: Let me cite my sources, which is the Google Doc that I put together.
[SPEAKER_07]: Allegedly, point being, guys, is that I want to talk about how good the Ends March on Ice and Guard is.
[SPEAKER_07]: Best fight scene.
[SPEAKER_07]: You want to do a Monsters?
[SPEAKER_07]: Sorrowing.
[SPEAKER_07]: OK, we can keep going.
[SPEAKER_04]: Very clearly the reason their siege monsters.
[SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_04]: Is why they're siege monsters.
[SPEAKER_04]: That one seed.
[SPEAKER_04]: Hundred percent.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_06]: The one that's like head is on fire and it like runs into the water and then puts it set up.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the doubt's itself like a match.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love that one.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'll ask you guys this because trians are primarily like known as protectors can something be a monster and also be a protector.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think so depends what you're protecting.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, loyalty doesn't make you unmonsterous because it's about what you value.
[SPEAKER_02]: Something can be very, very loyal and still be a monster.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I would say, yeah, you could have both things.
[SPEAKER_07]: But now I know that Dylan has specified the difference between monster versus monstrous.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm thinking a monster can be a protector but can a monstrous being
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, man.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think you have so many guests that are so good at this and I'm here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you know, if a monster crosses the road like what I would say that even as protectors of a force, even if they do so viciously.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're not seeking to harm for just the amusement of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're still doing something.
[SPEAKER_02]: They are protecting a place and sometimes that comes to violence, but it's not like the first thing they're seeking out all the time because they want to.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're trying to keep the force safe, sometimes violence is needed.
[SPEAKER_04]: That being said, you could do like, you could do your poison ivy, triant, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: the the war machine has started up the kingdom is invading like the neighboring kingdom which means we are tearing down parts of the forest for siege engines and suddenly you know we're attacking the kingdom the north so we're harvesting out of the forest so the forest to the south of your harvesting starts attacking the kingdom from the other side because like no no no no no but part of that is going to be slaughtering the people who are just
[SPEAKER_04]: It's my job.
[SPEAKER_04]: The king said get me wood.
[SPEAKER_07]: I, as something that I was thinking about because I was, uh, I mean,
[SPEAKER_07]: as a heavily tattooed bisexual queer person, I have a lot of feelings about mushrooms.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think they're cute.
[SPEAKER_07]: I have a lot of mushroom tattoos.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's just like, it's a legal requirement that I just think mushrooms are neat.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I've been thinking a lot about like, micro-risal networks.
[SPEAKER_07]: So like, the mycelium that like link together all trees and all forests everywhere.
[SPEAKER_07]: And how cool it would be because, you know, a thing about tree ends is that they can like awaken
[SPEAKER_04]: had a very good mic in it episode for the record if you're ever looking for mushroom shit.
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, I need to listen to that.
[SPEAKER_07]: I didn't want to listen to it because I was so mad that Mike and I were already done that I was like, I'm not even going to listen to this one until I'm done.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm going to do so I'm just going to slowly wedge mine into talking about Mike and it.
[SPEAKER_07]: No, I just, I think like Michael Riesel networks are so interesting because they, they are just just beautiful complex communication network between plants and
[SPEAKER_07]: One of the things that trans can do is like they can awaken, you know, small trees around them.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I like to imagine that's done through the Michael Riesel network.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like, I, I, I really like pulling magic away from magic.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think it's so much cooler to be like, Oh, this is not done through airborne magic, but through like the, the, my cereal networks through the wood wide web.
[SPEAKER_07]: Exactly, damn it, that's so good.
[SPEAKER_07]: But you could create a monstrous sort of triant that's monstrous because they're like, you know, maybe like, well, I guess this wasn't, this would make the monstrous suproxy, but like, you're getting impulses from things that are not supposed to like be tapped into it.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: The micro-risal network is functionally an elder god to a tree.
[SPEAKER_04]: like these are the things that like it exists in a world that's adjacent to yours, but isn't you, and suddenly like, you're Catholic protagonists as an oak, but now seen beyond the forest?
[SPEAKER_07]: Or you could have like an evil circle of spores drew it that's like,
[SPEAKER_07]: using the mycelial network to I guess they still wouldn't be monstrous.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm just creating like a cool little experience for a campaign.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is hugely important because like just because something isn't a monster doesn't mean it can't be antagonistic.
[SPEAKER_04]: Doesn't mean it can't be the enemy, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Like having these little ways of like
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, the trend is in the monster manual, but we had this conversation around the dry-out a little bit.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, this is an NPC.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: As it is in the book, like the way the stats, or the way the description is written, you're not supposed to fight this.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, this is a guy that's on your team.
[SPEAKER_04]: These things are how you turn something that like,
[SPEAKER_04]: Wizards was just like, here's a fun stat block.
[SPEAKER_04]: Everybody's seen two towers by now.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're gonna love this shit.
[SPEAKER_04]: And now it's a there's a way to put it in the fucking game.
[SPEAKER_07]: Which they originally named Ence.
[SPEAKER_07]: They originally named Ence and then the... It just slapped three into the front of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now we're fine.
[SPEAKER_07]: Which I think is so thick as wow did the same thing because I play a boonkin druid that like summons a lot of trance I have a macro that whenever I'm raiding I summon my trance and it says the boys are back in town and people are like keep comms clear stop saying that we all died because you are clogging up comms.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's great everyone that I write with loves it But they both both of them originally called them ends and then the the token of state was like
[SPEAKER_07]: Here's a cease and desist.
[SPEAKER_07]: If you want to take a tree ant, if you want to take down a tree ant, send them a cease and desist.
[SPEAKER_07]: Cut some right now.
[SPEAKER_07]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_02]: Print it on the paper of their cousin.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you said, it's just getting them to court.
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_06]: They're like, oh no, I just can't really sad they're wearing like a borrowed tie.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's like not trying to leave.
[SPEAKER_02]: Kind of made into a tie.
[SPEAKER_07]: Just like a snake skin this time into a time.
[SPEAKER_02]: One lesson on the evil are not evil.
[SPEAKER_02]: If we were doing separate trees of their different kinds of trees, then the macadeneal tree is evil.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, this tree is so poisonous, so deadly that if you stand under it in a rainstorm, the water that runs off its leaves will blister your skin.
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, it is the most hateful thing that wants to kill you so badly.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's been the fruit of a single apple is said to be able to kill twenty people.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fuck off.
[SPEAKER_04]: This leads very nicely into, is there anything you would change in fifth edition turians?
[SPEAKER_04]: Because I think this is one of the handful of times where a wrongs favorite complaint of make more kinds of it is kind of valid?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_07]: I would give Triance a gun.
[SPEAKER_07]: Next question.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just give a rifle.
[SPEAKER_02]: A little bush is get a little pistol.
[SPEAKER_04]: Huge siege monster carrying a cannon on its shoulder.
[SPEAKER_07]: I am thinking a nineteen twenties gangster gatling gun.
[SPEAKER_02]: If we are going to change them though, I would want a hundred percent make it so that different types of trees do different things.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like there's like a redwood is not the same as a Japanese maple.
[SPEAKER_02]: They have different abilities.
[SPEAKER_02]: A weeping willow can do things that it can't do.
[SPEAKER_02]: It just makes sense to give them different abilities.
[SPEAKER_04]: I want Apple Tree, Hock and Apple's it peeps.
[SPEAKER_07]: Coming up with different abilities is also really easy to do because I was I was looking through the endangered vascular plants of Ontario in preparation for this podcast.
[SPEAKER_07]: And there are so many trees with really evocative names.
[SPEAKER_07]: I was looking at the few flowered club rush, the heart-leaved plantain, holy mountain mint, like nodding pagonia.
[SPEAKER_07]: There are all these trees and a lot of those like don't translate very well to like a spoken like seeing them written.
[SPEAKER_07]: They sound a little bit cooler, but
[SPEAKER_07]: Virginia Goatru, like that's awesome.
[SPEAKER_07]: There are so many trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: If you want to make cool trance, there's so many cool types of trees, not just in terms of, yeah, like an apple tree that hucks apples, I people, which is sick, but you can even get so, so much personality from the actual names of the trees that I think Virginia Goatru sounds amazing, like that sounds so cool.
[SPEAKER_07]: Why are goats ruining you?
[SPEAKER_07]: Tell us about that.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think there needs to be more specificity, but that's all of the type of thing.
[SPEAKER_07]: I understand why they wouldn't put that in the monster manual because it could feel like little additions.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like there's the main stat block.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then there's like if it's a redwood, it has plus four strength in this many market points.
[SPEAKER_04]: Most trees are gonna be big and hit real hard.
[SPEAKER_07]: Are you to familiar with the nineteen, nineteen great molasses flood?
[SPEAKER_02]: No, yes, I am.
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course you are, Canadian.
[SPEAKER_07]: There was a flood of molasses in Boston.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like there was, it was in Boston and it was like a molasses tank exploded and it flooded molasses into a town and it killed a bunch of people.
[SPEAKER_02]: Two point three million US gallons of molasses.
[SPEAKER_02]: That was a big tank.
[SPEAKER_02]: Kill the bunch of people.
[SPEAKER_02]: Twenty one people injured one hundred and fifty.
[SPEAKER_07]: Do you hear me out?
[SPEAKER_07]: Army of maple trees.
[SPEAKER_04]: If you get stuck in molasses, you die.
[SPEAKER_07]: Maple syrup and blood flowing into mingled in the street.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, if you've ever seen trees sapped, it's actually kind of disturbing.
[SPEAKER_02]: It looks like all the trees are on life support because they've been like, did they've hammered these little things in and then there's the old these little tubes all connecting to the main, stillary or whatever.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's called, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_02]: But yeah, it's a weird thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think trees would be pissed off about that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I can see maple trees doing a killing.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because it's a fairly simple ability if you're doing something like, oh, this tree has a lot of sap.
[SPEAKER_04]: If you hit it with a slashing or piercing weapon, you now have to make like a deck save to avoid gang stuck.
[SPEAKER_04]: And if you do get stuck, you have to make strength saves to get off the tree.
[SPEAKER_04]: But it's so much larger than you.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not even like a regular grapple.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're stuck to the tree's arm and it just lifts this fucking arm.
[SPEAKER_04]: Sorry, bud.
[SPEAKER_07]: I absolutely think that needs to be an added mechanic.
[SPEAKER_07]: Is like thinking about sap?
[SPEAKER_07]: That's a huge part of it.
[SPEAKER_07]: Or yeah, thinking about like cost sickness.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think cashews are the one that the actual cashew fruit is extremely caustic.
[SPEAKER_07]: So using that like thinking about plus then people get to learn about
[SPEAKER_07]: tree.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I think it's very close.
[SPEAKER_02]: We also need to see the trees relationship with other creatures.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like we always talk about how like how was a trient deal with like a person, but like how does a trient deal with a butterfly or a bird?
[SPEAKER_02]: How does a trient deal with the animals?
[SPEAKER_02]: What is their relationship to them?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like
[SPEAKER_02]: especially the ones where they have direct relationships, where they have evolved, you know, specifically for this bird or for this mod, and without them, they can't live.
[SPEAKER_02]: That would be an interesting thing to see.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'd like to see more of that in a transmoor of them as like actually part of where they come from.
[SPEAKER_04]: It is one of those clear over sites where like the writing of the game is for the creatures to interface with the players, not their surroundings, but like,
[SPEAKER_04]: Trance should be casting, speak with animals at baseline.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, not even casting, just have active, speak with animals.
[SPEAKER_04]: They just can speak with animals.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: The trend knows the squirrels that live in it.
[SPEAKER_02]: All by first name, a bassist at least.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: It sometimes gets the kids mixed up, but it's got most of them down.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_07]: Scrolls do you have like a lot of kids though, so they do.
[SPEAKER_02]: Scrolls are methods.
[SPEAKER_02]: They all look the same.
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the tricking to do?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm still sorry, I'm now thinking about because I was thinking about, yeah, like the creatures that live around them, and now I'm thinking about like, and what about invasive species, like factoring that and that is not an important part of the gameplay.
[SPEAKER_07]: I am just getting stuck again on cool.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, that was fun.
[SPEAKER_02]: They all universally hate what they hate, what peckers.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fuck those guys.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, Emerald Ashbores, like also Emerald Ashbores already sounds like a fantasy thing.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's something that's so cool is that if people like looked more into
[SPEAKER_07]: Real trees real tree stuff you'd find so much cool stuff that you could really easily add into a fantasy setting, but right things that we want to change about tree ants besides giving them guns.
[SPEAKER_07]: Factor and sap factor and stuff like maple syrup flooding the town with maple syrup.
[SPEAKER_07]: I still really like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, they should all be talking to animals.
[SPEAKER_02]: They should all be able to somehow communicate through this network.
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe they have to root themselves in order to do so.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like they can't do it in the middle combat.
[SPEAKER_02]: But if they're able to root themselves, they get back into the network.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a good balancing.
[SPEAKER_02]: They could talk to others.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: They'd have to like reestat, especially if they moved off of their like home turf for whatever reason.
[SPEAKER_07]: Again, if you're leading them into the house of a landlord and you, they'd have to like re root and like reconnect with a micro-risal network.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they have to log back off.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's great wood pun.
[SPEAKER_07]: That was so fun.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, that was very, very good.
[SPEAKER_07]: I don't respect or like you.
[SPEAKER_07]: I know.
[SPEAKER_07]: Do a nature check.
[SPEAKER_07]: You can see that like their network stops at this point.
[SPEAKER_07]: See if you can like pull them.
[SPEAKER_07]: five feet beyond that line, then they can no longer like awaken trees to fight with you.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to get them to unroot themselves first.
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to wait because if you hit them while they're rooted, they're just gonna call every other tree they can talk to.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: You just have to introduce like a
[SPEAKER_07]: some sort of disdeseed and be like, okay, we're killing all your friends.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's not good though, because now they're just gonna be more mad.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that communication happens all the time.
[SPEAKER_02]: With trees now, if there's a fire in one part of the forest, the other trees can start to take defensive actions, like can produce more staff or how, however they would toughen themselves up because they know the fire's coming.
[SPEAKER_02]: If they can do that without sentience, what they could do as thinking creatures would be amazing.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, literally a smell of fresh cut grass is grass screaming, which my dad told me when I was like six, and that's probably why I... Wow.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm like, let's talk about trees.
[SPEAKER_07]: I got a lot to make up for.
[SPEAKER_07]: But yeah, like that's, that is true, like plants can communicate very well with one another, and sort of factoring that in a little bit more.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think it'd be really cool.
[SPEAKER_07]: That also lives, get lens sort of like an intelligence to the non-tree end.
[SPEAKER_07]: plants around them, which I like a lot.
[SPEAKER_07]: We're all kind of already chatting.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a kind of a collective intelligence already among them.
[SPEAKER_02]: The forest thinks for itself.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's interesting because if that's true, then maybe that is the intelligence that's somehow sometimes concentrates it in a single individual and pulls it away.
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, I wait.
[SPEAKER_07]: I love that idea where it's like all of the like latent intelligence of the forest.
[SPEAKER_07]: And then in the greatest time of need, they like pool their intelligence.
[SPEAKER_07]: For the spokesman, creating an intelligent spokesman.
[SPEAKER_02]: A spokesman.
[SPEAKER_02]: I keep it from the forest.
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_04]: Recently, in your time skills,
[SPEAKER_04]: was a sudden spike.
[SPEAKER_04]: Thing you could not have known from within the woods, but over the years, there's been an exchange of ideas with the Nomish Kingdom where basically the Orcs and the Noms got together.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like the Noms had figured out gunpowder, but like steel refining is hard.
[SPEAKER_04]: They don't have enough access in the Orkish lands.
[SPEAKER_04]: And essentially, the Tulum got together and figured out how to really cut into and properly handle ironwood as a building material.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that's when the war started.
[SPEAKER_04]: you were present for battles smaller groups fighting where like the fires were starting because there were so many small skirmishes breaking out here and there and like just desperate moves to try to stop like oh god this is it's not even two
[SPEAKER_04]: army's fighting.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's dozens of smaller factions.
[SPEAKER_04]: So they're starting fires almost as like now no one is going to attack us from this side and we can just fight this battle.
[SPEAKER_04]: Once they figured out how to really work iron wood, wooden orkish armor became a thing, and shortly after that, with the contributions of the no-mish artificers, wooden cannons started being built.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that's when a calling started.
[SPEAKER_04]: It started the edges of the woods, getting what they could.
[SPEAKER_04]: and slowly but surely the army's marched deeper and deeper until.
[SPEAKER_04]: Coming through the Myacelium, there's nothing you can hear but iron would die.
[SPEAKER_07]: To be clear, I have a custom ring tone on my micro-risal network.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's, I miss you by going Q&A.
[SPEAKER_07]: So that starts ringing.
[SPEAKER_04]: The trouble is it's one of those like, it starts every time there's a new notification.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you've just been saying there.
[SPEAKER_00]: But don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but don't, but
[SPEAKER_04]: You've accidentally discovered Techno because now it's just, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
[SPEAKER_07]: I am, and he's super into hunting aliens.
[SPEAKER_07]: I am Tom Delong, the great ponderosa pine of feyroon.
[SPEAKER_07]: Deeply insecure.
[SPEAKER_07]: Tom Delong Tree.
[SPEAKER_07]: And my phone is blowing up with the death of my brethren.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I love to take a real strong turn.
[SPEAKER_07]: I kept looking at my micro-risal network hoping that the beach babe, the EECH babe that I've been like kind of... It's been a thin thing.
[SPEAKER_07]: I see a real text to back and forth is getting back to me and instead it's just like...
[SPEAKER_07]: A bunch of numbers that I don't have saved being like, I'm dying.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm dead.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm dying.
[SPEAKER_07]: The orcs are killing me.
[SPEAKER_07]: We're trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm dying.
[SPEAKER_07]: Help.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm dead.
[SPEAKER_07]: Hot horny singles in your area.
[SPEAKER_07]: Help.
[SPEAKER_07]: Just kind of.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm sensing that something is truly wrong.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I guess it is just the question of when did you start acting?
[SPEAKER_07]: I double texted my beach babe, and then I was like, we don't do double texts.
[SPEAKER_07]: And then I waited one full calendar year, that's like the normal amount of time, you're supposed to wait before, and then I triple texted.
[SPEAKER_07]: And then she left my my serial text on red.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I waited six more calendar months, and then I was like,
[SPEAKER_07]: you know what whoa just uh you know just kind of sitting around not doing anything like that's you know yet okay we got to go we got to go my friends are dying you know I didn't even want to hear back from you I just said one more quick text being like you know it's actually I'm gonna go like all our friends are dying so like I don't know like maybe I'll just go take care of what is this accent turning it I can't do voices let's not do that
[SPEAKER_07]: Jettison that bit I'm gonna go so I'm just you know, I have cool stuff that I'm doing to and I Unroot myself in an attempt to save my dying brethren and impress the girl that I like
[SPEAKER_04]: which also puts your micro-isle network on airplane mode.
[SPEAKER_04]: Gotta be rooted to be touristy of messages.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I unroot and then I re-root and wait like the full week or so it takes to like re-establish and just be like, hey, I'm gonna be like traveling though.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I might be kind of slow to respond.
[SPEAKER_07]: So just and then I unroot and then I re-reward again and just say like, so I'll just just want to like, like, I will be tri-
[SPEAKER_07]: And then I unruity again.
[SPEAKER_07]: And then I I leave.
[SPEAKER_07]: I start moving my ponderous ponderosa body.
[SPEAKER_04]: Roughly if my count's not wrong like three full years later.
[SPEAKER_07]: I have so many dead friends.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is the problem.
[SPEAKER_02]: They just don't react quick.
[SPEAKER_04]: Who's starting point is already I have so many dead friends.
[SPEAKER_04]: Around.
[SPEAKER_04]: The last major war against like one of the smaller Elvenon caves ended roughly like ten fifteen years ago.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, war has been going better for us lately.
[SPEAKER_04]: So what I would like to know is with the war ending, what did you do to be assigned to a border for it?
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a good soldier.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a terrible listener of orders and like I will fight and I proudly sold bad soldier.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a really good warrior.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a bad soldier.
[SPEAKER_02]: There you go.
[SPEAKER_02]: I fought bravely.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the reason I'm at this fort is because I'm too good of us, I'm too good of a fighter to be exiled.
[SPEAKER_02]: So they couldn't get rid of me, but this is as far, literally as far away as they could place me without kicking me out, because I just decked an officer.
[SPEAKER_04]: It is a command post technically in that you are the highest ranked officer here of one.
[SPEAKER_04]: You are just shy of being a large.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's sort of your castle effectively.
[SPEAKER_04]: However, you are like the guy here and everyone else is like maintenance.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like a twenty foot tall wooden structure.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's basically, if you've ever been to somewhere where there's like a hilly mountain structure, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and there's like that little tall look out thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like open along the way.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's basically just a frame and a staircase.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then at the top, there's an actual covered little place where there's probably a couple beds and, you know, a table to play cards at, and then a couple look out locations.
[SPEAKER_04]: up at the top you have like the remnants like these structures were built because they were during the wars over iron what as a resource yeah and one of the major things is if you're building with iron what you got to be fucking sparing so like that underlying structure
[SPEAKER_04]: is functionally just scaffolding, but is also fucking nyan invulnerable.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: The problem with working with ironwood is that you have to work with it around living planted ironwood because you have to use boiled sap just to get it pliable enough to work with it, otherwise it's like steel.
[SPEAKER_02]: So you can't just take the trees and leave.
[SPEAKER_02]: We had to actually establish a foothold, work on our things here, and move them from here, otherwise it just wouldn't have been worth it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Up in the top, there is, there are offices, there is a chamber for you, like not the well-pointed one.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is like the battle, like battle ready station.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like a closet.
[SPEAKER_04]: There's not a lot of room.
[SPEAKER_04]: And down below it, there's maybe the assortment of like four or five small little buildings that like you and your one or two, like,
[SPEAKER_04]: You refer to them as your men, but they are absolutely not soldiers.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're, again, just like the maintenance folks, because, like, as you mentioned, working with Ironwood is tough.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, these are engineers.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, they just make sure this doesn't collapse, because much in the same way that you were too important to let go.
[SPEAKER_04]: This structure, not currently useful, but also we have to make sure it's there.
[SPEAKER_02]: for later.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: This has to be here so that when we, if we're doing the next war kicks up, we have we don't have to reestablish all of this.
[SPEAKER_02]: We already have our foothold.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: then what is your sort of day today for monitoring your nothing for.
[SPEAKER_02]: So he tried when he first got here, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: But like he's not like a ball stick.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's just not like a ball guy.
[SPEAKER_02]: The end engineers are a hard group to break into, especially when they're together doing engineering stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to be real insular.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's not going to be able to break it.
[SPEAKER_02]: So he tried a couple
[SPEAKER_02]: a few times and just like gave up and now just spends his whole day in the lookout, look it around.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, he'll come down once an hour, do his patrol, and that's right back up into the, the odd hunt, but mostly just like, we're around here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we have there's plenty of food, there's plenty of rashes, there's diving a reason to hunt, but he'll do it just to break up them and not me.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, Anika, is there strategy to your approach?
[SPEAKER_07]: I have so much strategy that...
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm texting it to my girlfriend.
[SPEAKER_07]: I have so much strategy right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's how every Strategery guy starts a conversation.
[SPEAKER_07]: I keep re-rooting, taking another year to be like, I'm just coming up with strategy, babe.
[SPEAKER_02]: This map can fit so much strategy at a...
[SPEAKER_04]: You can take it out these sorts of forts before, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Like this was part of the thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like finding because they are built around those living trees, like you'll leave them there, everything's at risk.
[SPEAKER_07]: So let's talk about, I've been kind of reading up on like Pondrosa because what we were talking about is like, how do you actually include
[SPEAKER_07]: stuff about different trees, right?
[SPEAKER_07]: And we talked about the idea of like, and how do you factor in all the different things that live in trees?
[SPEAKER_07]: So here's what I would like to do.
[SPEAKER_07]: And there's not really mechanically a way to do this, and this could result in no dice rolling.
[SPEAKER_07]: So just bear with me.
[SPEAKER_07]: But Pandorosa are the only Pandorosa needles, are the only no-in-food for the type of moth called the Galicid Moth.
[SPEAKER_07]: And the the delicate order includes tomato pin worms and potato tuber moths and grain moths.
[SPEAKER_07]: So what I would normally do in a situation like this, where perhaps we do not have a time
[SPEAKER_07]: element is what I would want to do is I would want to like sick these bugs onto their food stores and slowly destroy their food stores so they have to start coming further out into the forest hunt.
[SPEAKER_02]: biological warfare right off the back.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, it doesn't that make so much sense.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's totally fantastic.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's really, really good.
[SPEAKER_04]: Iran make me a survival role.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, actually, no, make me a nature check first because you could hypothetically
[SPEAKER_04]: Head this off if you find the bugs in time.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, that is going to be a fourteen plus four is eighteen.
[SPEAKER_04]: Then you do get the survival check to try to actually stop the problem.
[SPEAKER_04]: There is a point where you it's a slow process, but an eighteen's high enough that like
[SPEAKER_04]: first it's a grain source right one of the easiest things grain is hard to like root through like tomatoes there's like you you look at them they're they're all you can pick it up like the middle of the way if you're not paying attention yeah not only goes bad quick it goes bad like at the bottom right works its way out yep
[SPEAKER_04]: So that's like the last thing you notice but it is the thing that really sets you off of like something is fucked because the potatoes are fucked.
[SPEAKER_04]: The tomatoes are fucked.
[SPEAKER_04]: The grain is starting to go like this is weird and like
[SPEAKER_04]: So yeah, I want you to give me the survival to start like trying to fight basically like pivoting your mentality from IMA soldier to IMA gardener.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right exactly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: So my survival's plus six and that is going to be a fourteen plus six is twenty.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is my fucking wheelhouse.
[SPEAKER_02]: So what I do.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Sounds like what you do is just punch your commanding officers.
[SPEAKER_02]: I do that, but what it also do is lecture to them.
[SPEAKER_02]: And boy, do I like to lecture to people about food safety and proper storage?
[SPEAKER_02]: At the Special Interest topic?
[SPEAKER_07]: You're just like OSHA, you're FAIRUNE, OSHA, just... And the words.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, you're yelling at, you're like... You're other military dudes being like, you're not wearing PPE right now.
[SPEAKER_07]: You have to put on your hive as vests, go and do that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you want to just shit all day?
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you all want to shit all day?
[SPEAKER_02]: Look at this!
[SPEAKER_02]: Who's turning over the grand guys?
[SPEAKER_07]: Food, handling, raw meat is stored below the fresh veggies.
[SPEAKER_07]: Not that hard.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're gonna do the whole two day intake class over.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh no, I don't want to hear it sit out.
[SPEAKER_02]: Wheels out of whiteboard.
[SPEAKER_04]: Honestly, this might be one of the best posts for it because like the engineers are at least like conversant in a lot of the science.
[SPEAKER_04]: So when you do this, you're like talking to people are like, yeah, of course.
[SPEAKER_04]: They'll at least believe it's real.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: In terms.
[SPEAKER_07]: In this long tower, germ theory does exist.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's like one of those in this home signs, but it's like in this home, germ theory exists.
[SPEAKER_07]: PPE is important.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, in all the other units, they're like anti-masking and everything.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it's still hard.
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll decline, but these guys are all right.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I think honestly you managed to like keep the food stores relatively safe.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think on a check that high one of the things you notice is you talk to some of the norms and a couple of the like
[SPEAKER_04]: uh, ingredients and sort of treating sap to make things workable.
[SPEAKER_04]: Uh, is also pretty good for like setting up these like, they're toxic.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, if you want to stop ants, I think it's baking soda, interferes with caramel, so you can like,
[SPEAKER_02]: I know the natural ways to deal with things like this.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you line up this sort of toxic, like, well, say, it's like some sort of weird pharynx salt.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know how bugs work.
[SPEAKER_04]: Don't come at me and apologize.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, there's this weird sort of pharynx salt that they have access to that you sort of create a line of it should be toxic.
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's over the course of a week.
[SPEAKER_04]: You notice
[SPEAKER_04]: You know that one scene from like World War Z that nobody watched, where like the zombies pile up high enough to go over the wall?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it's over the least of a week that with grubs.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so concentrated, so focused.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think my first thought would be
[SPEAKER_02]: fucking pixies.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is exactly the kind of shit pixies would do.
[SPEAKER_03]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we've dealt with pixies before they're such a paid in the ass.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know you can't kill them because then they're like, they never stop.
[SPEAKER_02]: But he's like, they're kind of lost.
[SPEAKER_04]: You kill one of them, the rest of them smell it, and then they're all fucking.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, exactly.
[SPEAKER_07]: Can I do like a check to figure out if their morale is being... Like, I want to know.
[SPEAKER_02]: Many of us have been killed.
[SPEAKER_02]: The threat lights are a blood bath, man.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like, so, I guess I'm curious, like, I would like to figure out the impact this has on them.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: I don't know what I'd roll for that.
[SPEAKER_07]: So that sounds like an animal handling type of thing because I think you're in communication with these creatures like this isn't just like, you're trying to get the mobs to tell you what they're impression of the health of the bases Gandalf when he like catches the mob and like whispers and then the eagles that could have just helped from the start show up later.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's such a short movie.
[SPEAKER_04]: The Eagles would have been dropped immediately.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're trying to go over mountains that are monitored by a eye on the top of a tower.
[SPEAKER_04]: They are just birds.
[SPEAKER_07]: Also, they're in that sort of like, yeah, I know the whole thing within Tom Bombadell doesn't get involved in their aligned with nature.
[SPEAKER_02]: They would die.
[SPEAKER_02]: The scene where they're like, here come the Eagles.
[SPEAKER_02]: Really hit differently when you were watching it a theater in Philadelphia.
[SPEAKER_07]: Everyone just busted out laughing all the silly crowds are just whipping batteries at each other.
[SPEAKER_07]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's a lot of excitement.
[SPEAKER_02]: So you catch the spoff.
[SPEAKER_07]: I would love to see if I can treat this as sort of, because I went into this not wanting to do violence, I wanted it to be both recon and also psychological warfare.
[SPEAKER_07]: So is there a way, can I check how, how that's working?
[SPEAKER_04]: Do me a wisdom check, you got a plus three.
[SPEAKER_04]: Unfortunately, trance don't have any skills.
[SPEAKER_07]: I got an eighteen plus three, twenty one.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is one of those things where you're like, they can get in and they can eat the grain and everything.
[SPEAKER_04]: But your needles are the natural food source.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you're like, they should be coming back at some point.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like the grubs go in, they create sort of the nest there.
[SPEAKER_04]: And you should buy now, be getting moths back.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I haven't gotten any at all.
[SPEAKER_04]: You could wait a little bit longer.
[SPEAKER_04]: You've established very firmly.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're good at waiting.
[SPEAKER_07]: I imagine kind of what happened is it probably took a while for them to sort of realize what was happening as you said.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I was probably getting some moths back and then maybe slowly.
[SPEAKER_07]: What happens is, you know, I've been sending these weevils and what have you and these pin worms out and then they were coming back for a while and then they slowly kind of stopped.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm assuming I was able to intuit like they figured something out.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I don't want to move to violence yet.
[SPEAKER_07]: So another thing to know about Ponderosa pines is that a creature that loves to live within them and nest within them is the pilliated wood packer.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I want to continue to wage sort of psychological warfare.
[SPEAKER_07]: So what I would like to do, Dylan, is send my woodpeckers to start tapping on the sides of the tower, just lightly, just a human tapping at strange.
[SPEAKER_07]: Maybe knock on the door and then they open the door and nothing's there.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think there is a minor flaw to your plan.
[SPEAKER_07]: Don't say that wood packers don't exist in favor.
[SPEAKER_07]: No.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, they don't.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're not real.
[SPEAKER_04]: But fortunately, there is a weird sort of, not fucking wood packers exist.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's fine.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, the problem is that wood packers don't have like a throttle on it.
[SPEAKER_04]: like the idea like sending one end to be gentle like these are creatures that like in their head like they go and like yeah gentle tap a little bit to distract another and what what it is is just it becomes like first thing in the morning every morning
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say that like the second day, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: The first day is like whatever it's the first.
[SPEAKER_02]: The second day is like the third day though.
[SPEAKER_02]: He comes out.
[SPEAKER_04]: It might even be earlier because you're in a fort made of ironwood.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, that's true.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's so loud.
[SPEAKER_04]: It would not even just so loud.
[SPEAKER_04]: By the end of the second day, there's gotta be a little voice in the back of your head.
[SPEAKER_04]: You've established be a two good checks that you are a nature person.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like you have a mind for it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Why would they even be tapping ironwood?
[SPEAKER_02]: They can't drill into this.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: On the second day of sleep deprive, he's like, wait a minute.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he walks out and he's like, hey, speak with animals.
[SPEAKER_02]: What the fuck guy?
[SPEAKER_02]: There's plenty of good wood right over there.
[SPEAKER_02]: What are we doing my guy?
[SPEAKER_02]: I went told to Dutch that would.
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know I was working with Narks.
[SPEAKER_02]: Who told you to tap on this would?
[SPEAKER_02]: There's like a beat of just like, I would, do you want some honey?
[SPEAKER_02]: No, some honey.
[SPEAKER_02]: Shut up, no.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll put ants in the honey.
[UNKNOWN]: No, don't do it.
[SPEAKER_07]: You just see a tree like leaning from behind another tree.
[SPEAKER_07]: You just ran two to the back row.
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm fully behind another iron one, but you just see two brands
[SPEAKER_02]: Woodpeck is occasionally like looking over its shoulder like back at like the trees just like you just you're like a tree shaking and then like looks back look listen power listen I don't know what the pixie's promised you okay, but if you stop knocking on this what I will give you whatever you want
[SPEAKER_04]: He takes a second to thank, you know, the equivalent for a woodpecker of tapping your finger on your chest.
[SPEAKER_04]: Possible.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, Mike.
[SPEAKER_02]: Kill me.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, well, I'll definitely kill you.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm capable of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
[SPEAKER_02]: Why don't we just have a little truss here where you stop knocking on my house?
[SPEAKER_02]: And I stop asking you questions about who sent you here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you like that?
[SPEAKER_02]: Deal?
[SPEAKER_02]: Truss.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, he like Shexel Birdwing, I guess.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's not getting anywhere fucking near you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, fair, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, all right, listen, and he goes back inside and he comes back outside with a little cup of water.
[SPEAKER_02]: Look, drink some water, get the fuck out of here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay?
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, he goes back into the place.
[SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's back to water and resumes.
[SPEAKER_04]: This bird does not.
[SPEAKER_04]: You, you are not scary in, in terms, you're right.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not scary.
[SPEAKER_02]: However, the creature I summon, which is the natural predator of what checkers is.
[SPEAKER_07]: Hold on, I would, I, I, I, I, I, trian does not want an animal to die.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I, I, I knew it does the animal.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, if I am viewing, I have to imagine I'm within clocking distance, I can see what's happening.
[SPEAKER_07]: I would if I am able to sense that the woodpecker is in trouble, I would like to abort mission.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like, I do not want these creatures getting hurt.
[SPEAKER_07]: I wasn't happy about the bugs getting hurt.
[SPEAKER_07]: The woodpecker just keeps risen.
[SPEAKER_04]: does not give a shit, has simple instructions and frankly, is mostly brain damage, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, these creatures are just the living embodiment of head trauma.
[SPEAKER_04]: Just walking CT's.
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, no.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I now summoned, I'm assuming like a Lynx, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like a cat with a little bit of muscle that can climb really well.
[SPEAKER_05]: Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKER_07]: I would like to see if I can serratitiously whip a pine cone at the head of either the links or arms characters.
[SPEAKER_04]: It is in fact like this.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's a concentration spell.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's a concentration spell, but also any of these summon natures, most of them are summoning like fair representation.
[SPEAKER_04]: So your nonviolence is not going to be violated by fucking up the summon link.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I am going to try to, I'm still, I'm a tree hiding behind a tree.
[SPEAKER_07]: And what I'd like to do is I try to whip one of my pine cones.
[SPEAKER_07]: And what I want to do, this is just flavor.
[SPEAKER_07]: You don't have to do the mechanics for this.
[SPEAKER_07]: The movie, not taken.
[SPEAKER_07]: What's the one where they like curve the bullets around?
[SPEAKER_05]: Wanted.
[SPEAKER_07]: Wanted.
[SPEAKER_07]: I always confuse wanted and taken.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I understand why those words are similar.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I am going to like whip one bridge around.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's going to.
[SPEAKER_07]: You're gonna curl the pine cone and try to hit you in the head.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're gonna make two rolls for me and I want you to pick which one you want disadvantage on.
[SPEAKER_04]: One is gonna be just you can use the hurl rock stats for like the purposes of your bonus.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're gonna roll to hit a length with a pine cone.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're gonna roll for stealth to not be seen hurling a pine cone.
[SPEAKER_04]: One of those has disadvantage.
[SPEAKER_07]: Wait, I'm not trying to hit the links.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm trying to hit.
[SPEAKER_07]: Around.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, in the head.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, in better.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, great.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: Same deal.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like you were saying, you were trying to stay in the back.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're trying to be in like it's either the stealth is a disadvantage or the attack is a disadvantage.
[SPEAKER_07]: I will I will say stealth with.
[SPEAKER_07]: No, stealth fine.
[SPEAKER_07]: I will say hitting with disadvantage because I have only ever seen the movie wanted, right?
[SPEAKER_07]: Was that what it was called?
[SPEAKER_07]: Matt Taken.
[SPEAKER_07]: I've only ever seen wanted and I thought it was really, they were like watching it in camp during the last war and I was like looking over their shoulder.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's like when you watch someone watch a movie on a plane and you're like, okay, I can't really hear what's happening, but it's pretty cool.
[SPEAKER_07]: So it's not gonna work well.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I am going to
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, boy.
[SPEAKER_07]: So that was a three and a nine.
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are not gonna hit even without my even on the way armor.
[SPEAKER_02]: They'll suck it in.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, there is a plus ten to that attack.
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, so thirteen.
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, yeah, you're right.
[SPEAKER_07]: Thirteen.
[SPEAKER_07]: That is.
[SPEAKER_07]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_03]: So it's going about his day to day.
[SPEAKER_03]: Like this isn't an armor day.
[SPEAKER_03]: Correct.
[SPEAKER_03]: This is not an armor day.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm going to do the tried-in-true military strategy of bonking you on the Nagin.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, this is an improvised weapon.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're going to treat this with sling stats.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think that's reasonable.
[SPEAKER_04]: Anybody who's had an asshole, brother, who's hooked to fucking pine going out?
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know, that's reasonable.
[SPEAKER_04]: So that's going to be a D-six plus your strength mod.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, well, that's the one.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's all right.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's seven around you're you're doing a DC ten concentration check.
[SPEAKER_04]: As this links is finally getting to the top and leaping at this wood packer.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is going to be at eleven plus two is thirteen.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I made it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I managed to hold my focus.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're going to like what the fuck?
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to roll for the links as a tack then because the links does still exist.
[SPEAKER_04]: No.
[SPEAKER_04]: That is in fact a three on the die.
[SPEAKER_04]: Do you want to roll the two D six that the links is going to take us in just tries to leap at a woodpecker?
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, no.
[SPEAKER_04]: And what I believe you told me was a twenty foot tall vertical tall thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that is seven points of damage.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know how many athletes can't land on their feet.
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
[SPEAKER_07]: I know, I, well, you know, I'm not the DM, but I feel like that's good.
[SPEAKER_04]: Come on.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's, look, it's not unfair.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to say no more because I don't care enough about this interaction to let it go multiple rounds.
[SPEAKER_04]: Very well.
[SPEAKER_04]: And also like, okay, congratulations.
[SPEAKER_04]: The links landed on its feet.
[SPEAKER_04]: Now we're going to take three rounds and it's going to run back up to there.
[SPEAKER_02]: The links is just gone.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's like, it's gone and it's just gone.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: instantly barxkin armor up right away something is not right here.
[SPEAKER_07]: Well, that's just a pine cone following on the forest.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's too many questions.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is now there's a good guy who said be here with orders who will kill me.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's a little suspicious at this point, I think.
[SPEAKER_07]: I call out in Sullivan to my woodpecker.
[SPEAKER_07]: Remember, my name is Tom Delongtree.
[SPEAKER_07]: No, sure.
[SPEAKER_07]: Mark Hopp is coming back to me, we're just a man, we're playing for eighty-two.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I speak Sylvan.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I do, but I might.
[SPEAKER_04]: Let me just tell you, here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: You would recognize Sylvan, because that's one of the relatively common tongues for elves.
[SPEAKER_04]: elves, you were at war with when this tower was built.
[SPEAKER_07]: You've done duo Lingo, like a little bit, so you can ask like, where is the library in Sylvan?
[SPEAKER_02]: Every elf is happy to tell you where the fucking library is.
[SPEAKER_02]: Sunday, Estella, Warfront.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I am ringing the gong or the bell or beating the drum, whatever, equivalent warning system we have.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm there slamming it, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Two engineers in the tower that are like near you.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: So they're like, they're like, they're just like, kind of like a card game like, yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, we got help.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're being attacked guys.
[SPEAKER_02]: Pick up the crossbows and he would go get his bow.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't sure he gets that bows here.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, he will.
[SPEAKER_02]: There'll be bows in the thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: He picks up one of the crossbows lying around.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Everybody in the crossbows and the nooms are now looking for elves, I guess.
[SPEAKER_04]: They've got staff ladders to get up to the wall with their nooms.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, okay.
[SPEAKER_03]: There are engineers.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, but there'd be Orc engineers, yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, there are some Orc engineers.
[SPEAKER_02]: You've got no engineers.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry.
[SPEAKER_02]: How did that happen?
[SPEAKER_07]: Like, it's a foreign exchange program.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like are they working with us or have we just captured established very early on that it was a no-miss exchange, which brought about the technology that allowed you to work with Ironwood.
[SPEAKER_04]: Got you, but I didn't realize they were actual no-miss here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like stairs will know that I am being reasonable and you're a dumb dumb.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, you're absolutely reasonable.
[SPEAKER_02]: So basically, we used to like, we're the muscle to keep the ironwood safe, and they get ironwood out of this deal.
[SPEAKER_02]: I understand this, this actually works out.
[SPEAKER_02]: I like it.
[SPEAKER_07]: I still like to think it's like a foreign exchange thing, and you're like running around like, oh, we're at war, and they're like, down to Asta Elbano.
[SPEAKER_04]: One of these guys is on co-op, a hundred percent.
[SPEAKER_04]: You got one real engineer and one like, twenty-year-old kid.
[SPEAKER_04]: No one's would not be afraid of elves.
[SPEAKER_04]: Usually, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: No.
[SPEAKER_04]: There you go, shit.
[SPEAKER_04]: Guys, it's serious.
[SPEAKER_04]: I maintain that nooms are to elves what halflings are to humans.
[SPEAKER_04]: Sure, that's all it is.
[SPEAKER_07]: I also don't think I ever actually rolled for my stealth.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think I'm going to roll the hit, but to be fair, I am behind another tree.
[SPEAKER_04]: We've lost camouflage.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and also we have one of the most important rules of DMing.
[SPEAKER_04]: When the player decides to make things harder on himself, you let him go.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: You decided the enemy was else, hundred percent.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it is.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're looking for something.
[SPEAKER_04]: Why wouldn't it be?
[SPEAKER_04]: You're not looking for that one tree that's swaying weird.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, shoot.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's a good point.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm going to call out in Elvis.
[SPEAKER_01]: Buddy, but brethren, I think they've spotted us.
[SPEAKER_01]: Two.
[SPEAKER_02]: Two on roll deception.
[SPEAKER_02]: Into the woods?
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm pretty sure I speak.
[SPEAKER_02]: I do speak Elvin.
[SPEAKER_02]: What do I add to deception?
[SPEAKER_04]: It's a plus one charisma.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, for fifteen.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, around, roll me an insight.
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, not great at that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I actually don't, I am good at that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thirty plus six is nineteen.
[SPEAKER_03]: No, I know this tree's lying.
[SPEAKER_03]: You hear the voice of a fucking twenty-foot tall tree echoing an elephant.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, you can speak elephant, but it sounds like a pipe organ.
[SPEAKER_02]: So there's this booby.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so what would I have to roll to recognize who makes that voice?
[SPEAKER_04]: nature, you can have advantage if you also have proficiency in our conna.
[SPEAKER_04]: I do not have proficiency.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think you would just not complete this boss.
[SPEAKER_07]: Remember my mouth is hidden behind another tree.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, you can't see the mouth that's coming from regardless.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think there's something in your head that's going to like, tweak the tone of it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, it is, it's a woodwind, literally.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'll try them time to long, so I'm like, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, the room.
[SPEAKER_02]: So this all got so is it?
[SPEAKER_02]: Would I think tree, or would I think in elf with a wooden bullhorn, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Could be either one.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I guess that's strictly true, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I'm gonna hang in there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go high and I'm gonna roll at twenty.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that is a seventeen.
[SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, I figured I'd like, it's an elf.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, wait a minute.
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
[SPEAKER_07]: No, it is like some sort of fucking like, I used the wrong like noun to clenching on brethren and you're like an elf wouldn't say that.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hang on guys, stand down.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he says it to in like common I guess because there are nooms.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, um, buddy chids, are you a tree?
[SPEAKER_02]: And he says it in Elvin.
[SPEAKER_01]: Perfectly wrong.
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm gonna make a roll deception here.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm coming out and he would walk up onto the top of the thing, right where he's like in the open.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's got his hands up and he's like, what can I do for you?
[SPEAKER_01]: You've been, uh, you've, uh, what on the street is you've been killing, uh, my, my, my friends, and some, honestly, some trees, I don't really like either, some kind of workplaces, and then kind of the white gamut of, uh, neighbors, and I just, I don't like that you're doing that if I can be completely honest.
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that a fucking train?
[SPEAKER_03]: Holy shit, that's a train.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, listen, guys, guys, guys.
[SPEAKER_07]: I am still behind a tree, but I'm just sharing with my hands.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just, I'm like, doing the like Ted talk hands.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I like, I have my hands up and then just kind of lean down and like whisper like, go get the barrels of oil.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I come back and I be like, hey, listen.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sure a lot of things happened during the war.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sure a lot of trees were cut down.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was a bad time for everyone, but the war's over now.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just a guy in an outpost looking over a bunch of forest.
[SPEAKER_04]: I want you to roll me just a persuasion.
[SPEAKER_04]: Just because you have on your own established that these people have no respect for you.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's completely, I have a plus zero.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that is going to be, well, it's an eighteen.
[SPEAKER_02]: Plus zero.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're just like, not just the co-op students.
[SPEAKER_01]: Look at the fucking wheel.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, fuck Jesus.
[SPEAKER_01]: Tom, whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can heal you.
[SPEAKER_07]: What, Kikker?
[SPEAKER_07]: I can't hear them.
[SPEAKER_07]: I just have learned to just yell that at random intervals to stress people.
[SPEAKER_02]: Cause you know that you know that mortals whisper to each other.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're always plotting.
[SPEAKER_04]: Every mortal is a scheme, a little fuck.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's completely valid.
[SPEAKER_07]: You just walk through deep in the woods and everyone's in a while, you just hear.
[SPEAKER_07]: I can do you.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it always sets of running.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's really good move.
[SPEAKER_04]: My ex, one of the first phrases she learned in Spanish, was I understand exactly what you're saying.
[SPEAKER_07]: Don't at a stock in here, you, I don't speak Spanish very clearly.
[SPEAKER_02]: I am so sorry to the Spanish speaking list.
[SPEAKER_02]: All I remember from three years in high school is to a local in the cabesa, which means you are crazy in the head.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's all I remember.
[SPEAKER_04]: The typical location for it.
[SPEAKER_04]: The no one's for the record one of them is off grabbing the oil.
[SPEAKER_04]: The other one is what is wheeling around the single remaining ironwood cannon.
[SPEAKER_02]: Excellent.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's actually pretty damn smart.
[SPEAKER_02]: Good job, guys.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
[SPEAKER_02]: So look, I know the problem with you.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't see why you have a problem with me.
[SPEAKER_02]: As you can see, no one's chopping down any trees here.
[SPEAKER_01]: I, you, you're, you're currently standing inside the corpse of a cellar and Steven and David is, I think, I think your door might be a little bit of sweet, sweet baby Jessica, and I just, so, I think I just do think I'm gonna have to kill you.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's real unfortunate.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll be looking.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna take off running.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm just gonna like shoulder down to start charging.
[SPEAKER_07]: All right.
[SPEAKER_07]: We got a text.
[SPEAKER_07]: I see a text from my beach babe and I'm like, oh, I just aren't running with fear.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's fair.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
[SPEAKER_07]: All right.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're going.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, we're rolling for an issue to them.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm gonna roll for.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, that's an eight.
[SPEAKER_04]: Nooms are slow.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, initiative.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is gonna be a big ol' five.
[SPEAKER_07]: Okay, I feel less bad.
[SPEAKER_07]: I got a four.
[SPEAKER_02]: No one in a spec to treat a breakout into a sprint.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_07]: What's funny is you did actually have to watch me like, I was still behind a tree.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I had to like, I'm running, but I had to like, side all between.
[SPEAKER_02]: You kind of just got the tree over.
[SPEAKER_02]: You had to go around.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: Cause I'm like, I'm gonna, oh, excuse me.
[SPEAKER_07]: Sorry, the squeeze past you here.
[SPEAKER_07]: And then I am barreling.
[SPEAKER_07]: I got a thirteen total.
[SPEAKER_04]: Here we're gonna ignore the usual rules and let you get up in a reasonable amount of time because I think a huge creature at a full sprint definitely moves faster than a standard issue man.
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, the trans technically have a thirty foot move speed and like we don't have that many.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not running that many rounds again.
[SPEAKER_04]: For trees that are taller than people.
[SPEAKER_03]: Why would they move a thirty legs are so big?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm taking these like department of silly walks sort of like straight up.
[SPEAKER_07]: Do do do do do do
[SPEAKER_07]: I look like I'm walking like that red that meme of ray gun dancing at the Olympics.
[SPEAKER_02]: Did all trance do the Naruto run where the hands are straight back?
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, so I'm just narrowed to running directly at this tower.
[SPEAKER_07]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: Do you want, are you going to come for the tower or the fella?
[SPEAKER_07]: The tower.
[SPEAKER_07]: I want to topple it and then I'm assuming there will be damage things.
[SPEAKER_02]: To be fair, the fella's going with the tower.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that makes sense.
[SPEAKER_07]: Okay, you did run to the top of it.
[SPEAKER_04]: So then, uh,
[SPEAKER_04]: You're going to get just the raw damage on two slam attacks outright because you're attacking in an animate object.
[SPEAKER_04]: Do I have to roll the hit?
[SPEAKER_04]: No.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're it's an inanimate object.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's also enormous like it's you can't miss absurd to make you roll.
[SPEAKER_02]: But but it does cause emotional damage because you're beating through the corpses of your friends.
[SPEAKER_06]: I'm so sorry.
[SPEAKER_06]: I should've listened to your text three years ago.
[SPEAKER_06]: Sorry, I just got this.
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
[SPEAKER_06]: I just read this.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you're going to get to do, like I said, the two slam attacks, it's going to be a total of six D six plus twelve for the two of them.
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's going to be doubled because you're a siege monster.
[SPEAKER_04]: Jesus.
[SPEAKER_07]: So six D six times two for the total plus twelve.
[SPEAKER_07]: I got twenty six times two is fifty two.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: Plus twelve is also been doubled.
[SPEAKER_04]: So it's plus twenty four.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like your damage is doubled against structures.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_04]: So it's sixty six plus twelve doubled.
[SPEAKER_04]: So the fifty two plus twenty four is seventy six damage total.
[SPEAKER_04]: Great.
[SPEAKER_04]: So here's where I'm going to ask you for your opinion.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think seventy six damage.
[SPEAKER_04]: For something that you've specified is actually just standing on some legs, like isn't a structure with like, that's gonna tilt it over.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just four logs and some platforms, seventy-six damage will one hundred percent take this thing out.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, even if you just smashed one of the trunks and the whole thing is now collapsing, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_04]: Then I'm gonna have you give me a dexterity save and I'm gonna roll for the nose.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's a seven.
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't really get a dexterity save.
[SPEAKER_04]: And at twenty, the club students gonna survive.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's gonna be fifth of fourteen plus five is nineteen.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you're gonna check half damage on this.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I could do one or another two d six on fall damage.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm assuming I'm leaping off the tower.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that's why I'm able to fall.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're standing on the tower and it's falling over backwards.
[SPEAKER_04]: So like you're falling in it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Uh, I think a lot of this is gonna be like grabbing shit and making sure that you're like falling reasonably.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Basically, maybe even grabbing them on the way down.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like the bridge, although yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: I got an eight.
[SPEAKER_04]: By sheer fucking luck.
[SPEAKER_04]: The co-op student rolled a net twenty on a deck safe.
[SPEAKER_04]: So it's just like still next to like the crossbows, just manages to grab a fistful of bolts and jam it into the wood.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like the top floor is a softer wood, because you don't have to like worry about it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Why make the floor so much easier?
[SPEAKER_04]: When the thing falls,
[SPEAKER_04]: He's got enough of a hold there.
[SPEAKER_04]: The thing hits the jerking motion just snaps the bolts and he falls the rest of the way but it is now like dropping the like ten feet while your position to sort of land like it's okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: The other gnome is under the cannon now.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, that's not a good place to be.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like in a paste or like fine paste, a smooth paste.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm going to do my cool, uh, you know how like action heroes have their one liner.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm going to see this happen and I'm going to go.
[SPEAKER_01]: What about breaks the baby with all the fuckers?
[SPEAKER_02]: Did he before he died?
[SPEAKER_02]: Load the cannon.
[SPEAKER_02]: Heiser Loserum.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ooh, I will go high.
[SPEAKER_02]: I always go high.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, so here's the trade off.
[SPEAKER_04]: He did.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: They are small like you told him to get oil.
[SPEAKER_04]: They have like small casks that they're loading into this.
[SPEAKER_04]: It is loaded with around four oil.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: Fair enough.
[SPEAKER_04]: The other rounds that they have brought have smashed on the ground.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is a single shot.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, God.
[SPEAKER_04]: She's got one shot.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fair enough.
[SPEAKER_02]: Excellent.
[SPEAKER_02]: One shot.
[SPEAKER_02]: One opportunity.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_07]: Eminem canon in feyroon.
[SPEAKER_04]: It is the gnome's turn, the remaining gnome, who immediately sees this packs and fucking sprints.
[SPEAKER_04]: Just out of combat, I'm not dealing with this for the rest of the game.
[SPEAKER_04]: Though that's what they just ran screaming away that big complete set.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, his mentor is now under the canon.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is not a good day.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not fighting that tree.
[SPEAKER_04]: I have no investment in this.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I get name on my classes because, you know, it's very traumatic.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm getting my credits.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I'm not sure.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, around, it is your turn.
[SPEAKER_02]: I have fallen to the ground.
[SPEAKER_02]: I saw the cannon was loaded.
[SPEAKER_02]: I see this thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: The first thing I'm going to have to do is sprint towards that cannon and light it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: I want you to roll me something.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not a hundred percent sure on what.
[SPEAKER_04]: This entire area is coated in shattered tasks.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like all the rest of the ammo is everywhere.
[SPEAKER_04]: So actually I think here's what we're gonna do.
[SPEAKER_04]: This whole thing will go up is what you're gonna get this shot off and I'm gonna let you make like a standard range attack roll with it.
[SPEAKER_04]: At disadvantage if you're careful about like how you're lighting it.
[SPEAKER_02]: or you're going to like the fucking thing on fire.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I don't.
[SPEAKER_02]: Actually, I kind of want the whole place to go up because if I'm the, if I'm the, because the, I know how dangerous these things are.
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's actually kind of helpful.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm just rolling a standard attack roll with a throne weapon, which I am very skilled at.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I, with a range weapon.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not a throne weapon.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not how cannons go.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I see just saying what we used to use the actual kid.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, you shot, but that's the entire canon.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: That is in as a seventeen plus eight is twenty five.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's I think that very strongly hits.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you're
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm gonna say two D-Ten reasonable for a cannon round.
[SPEAKER_04]: That seems completely reasonable.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the triant is now doused in oil.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is going to be, oh, that is not bad actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is going to be fourteen points of damage.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I could, this is one of those like, do I get my ranged addition to, from a weapon?
[SPEAKER_04]: Strictly speaking, the issue is, I think Cannon's qualified as one firearms in two siege weaponry.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you're strictly lacking proficiency on this one, so we're not gonna be sure to trade off.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, you gotta have it coach.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, the tree doesn't hurt me better.
[SPEAKER_02]: I wouldn't make sense.
[SPEAKER_02]: I would know what to use them.
[SPEAKER_02]: If I'm stationed there, at least get the preliminary walkthrough, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, then that is a, that is a sort of twenty points of damage that, as that cannon as a oil cannon goes off.
[SPEAKER_04]: Immediately,
[SPEAKER_04]: You are not going to get a second shot off on this.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, I think specter because you go in there and just slam the thing home and you watch the entire thing fire and it's not you lighting the cannon that sets it off.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's the explosion of the shot immediately at your feet, the ground bursts into flames.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm a move backwards.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not gonna die.
[SPEAKER_04]: Anika, you like toppled this fucking fort, and I'm gonna assume that you're basically coming over the top of it.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that's the only reason this whole thing works out is you're coming over the top of that sort of pad, and it's up directly into your face, just hits sort of like at your trunk, what would roughly be a quill into your neck and just shatters oil through your needles.
[SPEAKER_04]: Am I on fire or am I just- No, you are doused in oil and if you are ever lit on fire, it's gonna be a fucking problem.
[SPEAKER_07]: That'll be up for debate when the time comes.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm gonna get dust and oil and I'm gonna go, my pores, no!
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh no!
[SPEAKER_07]: Don't love that and I am going to lock eyes with this tiny stupid little idiot that said that my tree looked dumb that I looked like a child drawing and what I'd like to do is I would like to do like
[SPEAKER_07]: a hammer punch down on him.
[SPEAKER_07]: And again, we're getting into combat.
[SPEAKER_07]: I love combat.
[SPEAKER_04]: If you come over the top of sort of that wall like the tower fell down, if you're coming over it, I will give you the extra two D-six of damage for the falling damage if you also take it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Basically, you can hurl yourself from the twenty feet up and slam.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like it's a body slam thing like wrestling move.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'll give you an extra two D-six damage when if you turn this into like an off-the-top rope's big slam, but you are also following that distance.
[SPEAKER_07]: I, here's the thing.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's a wonderful thing about doing a sort of a one shot situation is you can do things that will kill you.
[SPEAKER_04]: Chris Taylor, a wonderful designer, dear dear friend always said characters in a one shot drive him like a stolen car.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_07]: So what I'm going to do is I am going to... It as it fell, there was perhaps some rope that was, I'm sorry, I'm going DM mode.
[SPEAKER_07]: I love combat.
[SPEAKER_07]: There was perhaps some rope coiled at the top and then as everything fell, it got pulled top into sort of like a top rope situation.
[SPEAKER_07]: So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna stand on top of it, and I'm gonna start kind of bouncing on it, bouncing on it, and then I'm gonna do a diving overhead chop.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm gonna go full like scorpion mode, where you're bent backwards with my hands into like a hammer fist, and I'm gonna come and just try to like slam my fist down on you.
[SPEAKER_07]: I wanna like air rate you, like you are going to be a missed.
[SPEAKER_07]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_07]: I, I'm sorry.
[SPEAKER_07]: This started as nonviolent, but I just really love combat.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's fair.
[SPEAKER_07]: And he did shoot you with a cannon.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm also like just covered in oil, but I'm gonna break out in.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's fine to be nonviolent as little someone shoots you with a cannon.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, that's true.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_04]: I love also around.
[SPEAKER_04]: We don't have to worry about the rope being stable enough to support a giant tree because trees are actually like wood is kind of flexible.
[SPEAKER_04]: And if you are that big jumping on the side of the wall, it'll give you that same sort of flex effect.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's completely fair.
[SPEAKER_04]: Such a jerk.
[SPEAKER_04]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_07]: So that is eleven to hit.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yes, to hit on the dive.
[SPEAKER_07]: So what do I add to that again?
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a plus ten.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it's almost impossible for you to miss.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I was so caught up in like how cool that looked and I was like, so how much would that actually be in damage rise?
[SPEAKER_07]: Sorry, twenty one to hit.
[SPEAKER_02]: I give it armor class of sixteen right now, which is decently high, but yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, twenty one to hit.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you're gonna get your three D six plus six plus two D six.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're also taking whatever comes up on the two D six.
[SPEAKER_07]: So three D six plus six.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yep, for the slam itself.
[SPEAKER_04]: Then two D-six for your off-the-top robes maneuver.
[SPEAKER_07]: So, thirteen plus six is twenty one.
[SPEAKER_07]: No.
[SPEAKER_07]: No, it's nineteen.
[SPEAKER_07]: Nineteen.
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh.
[SPEAKER_07]: Those are similar numbers.
[SPEAKER_07]: I, six and eight, occupy a similar space for my brain.
[SPEAKER_07]: Nineteen.
[SPEAKER_07]: And then I add six to that.
[SPEAKER_07]: Right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_07]: You get twenty five.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_07]: And then.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then you get another two D-Six for the off-the-top, rope, and you're also taking whatever comes up on this two D-Six.
[SPEAKER_02]: Four.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'll take part.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's windy nine points of damage.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's done.
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, so you do have multi attack.
[SPEAKER_04]: Do you want to make that second swing?
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh no, that's stupid.
[SPEAKER_07]: I really wanted to do like a gatling gun with my pine cones and just start shooting them at you really quickly, but that's not good.
[SPEAKER_07]: So what I'm going to do is having done that, I'm just going to give you the people's elbow and I'm just going to like slam my elbow right into you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, that's only fourteen to hit that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, wait.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's see.
[SPEAKER_02]: What would they be the concentration check for them to keep up?
[SPEAKER_02]: Barks get after six.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was twenty nine, so it's half damage.
[SPEAKER_02]: So fourteen.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fourteen, okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Concentration saving throw.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a four plus two is six.
[SPEAKER_02]: Barks get dropped to that second attack actually does it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, not the wood right out of it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Just a straight three, these six plus six.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're king plus six again, nineteen.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jesus, I'm not down, but I'm not looking good.
[SPEAKER_02]: I won't survive another round of attacks.
[SPEAKER_07]: Technically, I am prone right now, though, because I did do the people's elbow if that matters.
[SPEAKER_04]: That is fair.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's an important mechanical distinction.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_04]: So yeah, around we're coming around to you, you have had a tree fall on you twice.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's basically just now.
[SPEAKER_04]: You were in effectively a tree that fell down and then a different tree fell on you twice.
[SPEAKER_04]: So this is what he's gonna do.
[SPEAKER_02]: The holes themselves out from underneath you.
[SPEAKER_02]: You look up at them.
[SPEAKER_02]: You guys lock eyes, scratch to shit by all the needles.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just I am just covered in scrapes, right?
[SPEAKER_07]: Covered in like, oil, sap and stuff and oil, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm covered in scrapes, you're covered in oil.
[SPEAKER_02]: And when I pull one hand to accept, I'm looking right into your eyes.
[SPEAKER_02]: And this bursts into fire as I cast searing smite on it.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I'm not attacking.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm looking right in the eyes.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like,
[SPEAKER_02]: This is gonna end bad for both of us.
[SPEAKER_02]: You've taken your tower.
[SPEAKER_02]: You've killed that man.
[SPEAKER_02]: How about you and I?
[SPEAKER_02]: Stop this before we both regret it.
[SPEAKER_07]: Why don't you make work a tree and leave?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm gonna shoot one pine cone right at your head.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I'm gonna bring down the axe.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm absolutely gonna break down the axe.
[SPEAKER_03]: You get to make your attack roll technically advantage because they're prone.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: The first attack is gonna be a sixteen plus eight is twenty four.
[SPEAKER_02]: I imagine that's gonna hit.
[SPEAKER_02]: That hurts.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, so that first one you to you take.
[SPEAKER_02]: Six plus six is twelve plus three times six fire damage plus another twelve.
[SPEAKER_02]: So twenty four points of damage as the searing act.
[SPEAKER_02]: Pull up pull up pull up.
[SPEAKER_02]: Six points of fire damage you said.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was twelve points of fire damage.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: I know it says that tree answer weak to fire.
[SPEAKER_07]: However, I didn't just choose Pandaro so fine to be silly.
[SPEAKER_07]: I chose them because they are one of the most fire resistant trees that there are.
[SPEAKER_04]: I respect and will honor that.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'll negate the innate vulnerability.
[SPEAKER_04]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm still having a bad time.
[SPEAKER_04]: Your code and an oil, so we're going to let the vulnerability stand and you're going to take the twenty four fire damage down.
[SPEAKER_04]: You burst into fucking flames.
[SPEAKER_07]: listeners, hey listeners, get in the comments.
[SPEAKER_07]: Let me know how clever I was setting that up knowing that I fully agree.
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not out of that.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm not out of that.
[SPEAKER_07]: I take twenty-four points of fire damage.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's thirty-six damage total.
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, shoot!
[SPEAKER_07]: You've almost hit half of my XHV.
[SPEAKER_04]: I've got another attack.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: Are you going to swing into an active raging fire?
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I am going to throw one of my three axes because I have a thrown weapon specialist.
[UNKNOWN]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm gonna take a couple steps back and just chuck another axe out of them and that is going to be twelve plus eight is twenty which will hit and that is going to be another twelve points of damage as it sinks deep right into their chest.
[SPEAKER_03]: How fun!
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just spinning the next one ready to go.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now I'm mad.
[SPEAKER_02]: I tried twice to make this peaceful.
[SPEAKER_02]: Twice.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, but I still had three puns.
[SPEAKER_07]: So that's completely fair.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so you gotta lose.
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'll die on this, Phil.
[SPEAKER_03]: Quick boss of me.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's the goal.
[SPEAKER_03]: And kids, your turn.
[SPEAKER_07]: I, so, okay, this is, I'm not super sure about like, prone damage, but what I would like to do is, instead of trying to give up, get up, because I am so big, can I just, like, stop drop and roll and just try to, like, roll onto him, especially, like, since I'm actively on fire, can I just smother him with my giant?
[SPEAKER_07]: Someone say bodacious tree body.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I know there's at least one effect in the book somewhere.
[SPEAKER_04]: I can't remember where it was.
[SPEAKER_04]: I remember reading this where you were on fire and if you took your action to stop drop and roll, you got advantage on the save for to put the fire out.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I don't have to stop and drop because I'm already prone already dropped.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I just have to roll.
[SPEAKER_07]: I just have to roll and I don't want to stop and drop.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm not trying to put the fire out.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm trying to put the fire on.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, that I can work with.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is this is functionally a full-on body slam of just like
[SPEAKER_04]: So, rum, you light this fucking triant on fire, you hurl an axe into it, and then you watch as it just sort of rolls onto its stomach.
[SPEAKER_04]: Forces itself up in the air, and just with that motion, just throws itself forward.
[SPEAKER_04]: Didn't expect that.
[SPEAKER_04]: That was the moment I did not sit comfortably.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's an absolutely insane move.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's the image of like a shark launching out of the water, except while on fire.
[SPEAKER_04]: Just made of fire.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's not good.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm sure they've done it in one of those shark-nado movies.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that is not good.
[SPEAKER_04]: And a cow roll the fucking body slam.
[SPEAKER_07]: Sixteen to hit.
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, that's good.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: Now what do I even roll for damage?
[SPEAKER_04]: We're gonna treat this as the slam attack.
[SPEAKER_04]: and then basically going to be uh... arom I want you to make the the attack roll was a sixteen yeah make me a dick dc sixteen deck safe five plus five is ten okay you are under the tree fuck and how much damage do you take um... plus six twelve twelve
[SPEAKER_07]: Do we count the fire at all?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's what's gonna ask.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was gonna say because you are actively on fire at the end of your turn.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was gonna have you take two D-Six fire damage.
[SPEAKER_04]: We both take it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's fine.
[SPEAKER_02]: I've got thirteen hit points left.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
[SPEAKER_02]: I rolled ten.
[SPEAKER_02]: Nice.
[SPEAKER_02]: I've down to three.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, Anakin you technically have multi attack and also we have the two D-Six of the fire damage.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh wait what a larger larger creature you can see within five feet or he hits you or misses I can make a reaction to the first thing I'll do is
[SPEAKER_02]: Make a little reaction.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, that is a twenty one that definitely hits.
[SPEAKER_02]: So you take eight more points of damage as I just angrily smack it acts into the side of you, but I'm clearly about to pass out.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it's like this attempt at the usual move like, you know, the massive like the dragon lunges for and you just brace your sword.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's kind of like that except it's immediately followed by you being fully crushed under this.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the you can see that that was like the last hurrah of whatever I've got.
[SPEAKER_07]: I have another attack.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I just like rolled over you in one direction.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm just impossible to miss.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just there.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm like a baby where I like rolled forward and I'm just gonna like roll onto my back.
[SPEAKER_04]: There's no way I'll survive that.
[SPEAKER_04]: Roll and if it's not a one he dies.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's a seven.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, good.
[SPEAKER_07]: Seventeen.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is just straight up like you roll onto your side and it's even just, it's not even the roll.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like you roll and it gets your arm under you and then the arm just comes flat across this body.
[SPEAKER_04]: The trouble being your arm is a five-point thick mom directly across this man's like this regular sized person's chest.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's an arc.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's big, but yeah, regular for an arc.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_04]: Still a regular person?
[SPEAKER_07]: I, as I feel, I roll on to you, and as I feel, you're like, chest cavity, just sort of crumble underneath me.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm gonna say, yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: In the nutshell, you should have stayed an elementary school.
[SPEAKER_01]: Leave me and my forest to go to you, butch.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ah, ah, ah, that's it.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a gargle and dead.
[SPEAKER_04]: There is the slight crackle of fire.
[SPEAKER_04]: Fortunately, as you mentioned, you're in a position to sort of stop drop and roll, get the fire out.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, you would take a couple d-six fire damage over time.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're not looking good, but you're life.
[SPEAKER_04]: Back on you guys.
[SPEAKER_07]: I look bad old scarred.
[SPEAKER_07]: I run back to the forest and plant my roots to see if she's texted me.
[SPEAKER_04]: You get back.
[SPEAKER_04]: You sink in.
[SPEAKER_04]: And you cue yourself up to like receive the messages.
[SPEAKER_04]: and then we have the time skip, having to wait a full week as you previously established.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm still smoldering.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's just the camera zooming out as we go through like the day night cycle over and over and over again.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that's where we're just gonna fade out.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're all back.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm back on the not one, so I might sometimes messages don't go through.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe, oh, oh, we have five books.
[SPEAKER_04]: Thank you for joining us for Trees.
[SPEAKER_04]: If any of the ideas we've discussed on the show of Spark some of your own, tell us about it on Twitter at KEM Podcast.
[SPEAKER_04]: You'll find me at DJ Malenfant and Arom at Arom Vardion.
[SPEAKER_02]: For ad free episodes, early releases, bonus episodes, print ready maps, our new audio DMs notes and my character sheets for each encounter, head over to patreon.com slash dead ghost pro.
[SPEAKER_04]: Our intro theme and many of the sound effects you hear in the show were created by Battle Varts.
[SPEAKER_04]: check them out at battlevards.com.
[SPEAKER_02]: This episode was produced by Aron Vartian and Dylan Mollenfum.
[SPEAKER_02]: I also did the edit.
[SPEAKER_02]: We were joined by Anakasila.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can find Anaka on Blue Sky at atakis.hous.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you are anything like me and all that information just fill right out of your head, you'll find everything you need at killeverymonster.com.
[SPEAKER_02]: And we'll see you next time for kill every monster.