WEBVTT 00:02.194 --> 00:05.275 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey everyone and welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 00:05.415 --> 00:06.295 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Steph Thirling. 00:06.435 --> 00:15.418 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host and today I'm joined by Ed Yuzinski and Brian Smith, who are two men who have been as sports dads and have worked in the sports industry for many years. 00:15.858 --> 00:20.060 [SPEAKER_01]: And today we're diving into a topic that's so many parents wrestle with youth sports. 00:20.660 --> 00:26.902 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a multi-billion dollar industry and while there's a lot of good that can come from it, there's also a lot of pressure and a lot of stress. 00:27.614 --> 00:32.498 [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I've had a lot of conversations with friends and family about how to navigate and balance our kids sports. 00:32.618 --> 00:35.320 [SPEAKER_01]: And so this conversation comes at the perfect time. 00:35.580 --> 00:43.467 [SPEAKER_01]: In this episode, we're talking about how to keep faith at the center, why character matters more than trophies and how to know when it's time to step back or set boundaries. 00:43.967 --> 00:48.731 [SPEAKER_01]: This all stems from their book, Away Game, a Christian parents guide to navigating youth sports. 00:49.151 --> 00:57.018 [SPEAKER_01]: So whether your kids are just starting out or deep into competitive sports, their book in this episode will help you navigate it all with clarity, purpose, and grace. 00:57.439 --> 00:58.675 [SPEAKER_01]: and really hope that you love it. 01:08.752 --> 01:09.252 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, guys. 01:09.332 --> 01:11.013 [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Christian Parenting podcast. 01:11.313 --> 01:11.953 [SPEAKER_00]: Good to be here. 01:12.033 --> 01:12.574 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks, Steph. 01:12.874 --> 01:13.114 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 01:13.134 --> 01:13.874 [SPEAKER_00]: That's a nice stuff. 01:14.134 --> 01:15.655 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm very excited for this conversation. 01:15.675 --> 01:20.377 [SPEAKER_01]: I already told you I have a million questions written down, talking all about youth sports and all the things. 01:20.557 --> 01:22.178 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I want to jump into it. 01:22.198 --> 01:24.218 [SPEAKER_01]: But first, we have to get to know you guys a little bit. 01:24.519 --> 01:26.539 [SPEAKER_01]: So can you, I don't know who wants to go first. 01:26.900 --> 01:32.222 [SPEAKER_01]: But if you want to just tell us a little about yourselves, what you do about your families, where you are, the important things. 01:32.382 --> 01:32.802 [SPEAKER_00]: Go ahead, Ed. 01:33.042 --> 01:51.677 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, well my name is Ed use and ski and I've worked with athletes in action for thirty three years, which is a sports ministry to college and professional athletes my wife Amy and I live just outside of Dayton, Ohio and what we just found out is Amy's actually what we did just find this out, but Amy's from Eden Prairie. 01:52.357 --> 01:53.619 [SPEAKER_00]: Which is your neck of the woods. 01:53.979 --> 01:56.243 [SPEAKER_00]: So did just make that connection. 01:56.683 --> 02:02.111 [SPEAKER_00]: We have four kids ages twenty four twenty two twenty and fourteen. 02:02.131 --> 02:06.458 [SPEAKER_00]: So we've got three in college and one that's about to be a ninth grade. 02:06.867 --> 02:09.369 [SPEAKER_00]: They've all played sports at all different levels. 02:09.609 --> 02:15.374 [SPEAKER_00]: And I've coached and parented and ministered in this sports space for just my whole life now. 02:15.554 --> 02:19.097 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's kind of what brings me to the table in the first place. 02:19.377 --> 02:20.157 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I love that. 02:20.758 --> 02:21.799 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm Brian Smith. 02:21.899 --> 02:25.121 [SPEAKER_02]: And you can almost just like copy and paste Ed stuff for me. 02:25.141 --> 02:28.484 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just about ten to fifteen years behind in everything. 02:28.504 --> 02:32.907 [SPEAKER_02]: So I've been on staff for seventeen years, married, three kids, I have a freshman. 02:33.828 --> 02:37.691 [SPEAKER_02]: eighth grader and a fifth grader, they play all of the sports combined. 02:37.711 --> 02:51.183 [SPEAKER_02]: I have coached as well from the collegiate level all the way down to third grade, correctly, so I've seen it all through coaching through parenting, but also as a sports minister for seventeen years with athletes in action. 02:51.423 --> 02:51.643 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 02:52.183 --> 03:12.830 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so besides talking about how small of a world Minnesota is before we started recording, we were talking a little bit kind of about why I think this conversation is important and that's that there are a lot of varying opinions on youth sports, whether appearance want to be in them or they think they're too much or their whole entire life is wrapped up in youth sports and it's all they can talk about. 03:12.890 --> 03:15.130 [SPEAKER_01]: Think about there's just like a lot. 03:15.170 --> 03:19.492 [SPEAKER_01]: There's a large spectrum and I think it's something that everybody thinks about on the regular. 03:19.612 --> 03:19.872 [SPEAKER_01]: So 03:20.532 --> 03:25.535 [SPEAKER_01]: What do you guys see from your experience as dads and in the professional world? 03:25.575 --> 03:27.096 [SPEAKER_01]: What do you see going on in your sports? 03:27.256 --> 03:30.217 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what are some of the themes that you're seeing or experiencing? 03:30.417 --> 03:30.677 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 03:31.058 --> 03:45.145 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'll start just by saying part of the reason why we wrote the book is that we were feeling all those same things, even as former athletes and people that work in the sports world, it really is the youth sports world is an industry. 03:45.505 --> 03:49.287 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, it's a massive multi-billion dollar industry. 03:49.527 --> 04:04.060 [SPEAKER_00]: that has a value system and is super expensive and wants to take all your time and just like any business when lots of people start getting involved in the business they keep coming up with new ways to take more time and spend more money and what we were 04:04.760 --> 04:27.325 [SPEAKER_00]: really feeling even as we were a part of it ourselves is that kids interest, I mean youth sports is really supposed to be about the kids being able to play a game and when they turn into commodities and the game turns into an industry then one of the consequences is going to be that their best interest is probably lower on the list for the people that are running things. 04:27.865 --> 04:37.352 [SPEAKER_00]: So both Brian and I, I'll stop with that and let Brian take the baton, but both Brian and I just said, okay, how do we get off the merry-go-round even as we're a part of it? 04:37.713 --> 04:43.137 [SPEAKER_00]: And as Christian parents ask, how can we actually help our kids follow Jesus in the midst of that? 04:43.157 --> 04:45.419 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's really where we were going to. 04:46.660 --> 04:52.584 [SPEAKER_00]: Whether we decided to be on this team or that team or how much is too much or which days are we gonna commit to and all this? 04:52.604 --> 04:55.927 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's gonna look different for everybody, but if we're gonna be involved in it, 04:56.307 --> 05:03.429 [SPEAKER_00]: How do we live in a more Christian way as we walk alongside our kids and journey with them, even as we're being affected by the system? 05:03.669 --> 05:07.410 [SPEAKER_00]: How do we recognize what's happening to us so that we can help our kids? 05:08.070 --> 05:09.770 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and why does any of that matter? 05:10.190 --> 05:16.452 [SPEAKER_02]: It's Romans twelve, do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. 05:16.512 --> 05:23.954 [SPEAKER_02]: So for us as Christian parents, we need to be aware of what we have kind of pegged that you sports industrial complex. 05:24.614 --> 05:40.428 [SPEAKER_02]: We need to be aware of how it is discipling us as parents and also discipling our kids because if we're giving large amounts of our time, energy and money to this system, we need to do it with wide-eyed eyes and know what the system is intending to do with us and our kids. 05:40.448 --> 05:44.191 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's really, they're trying to win and they're trying to make money, the system is. 05:44.211 --> 05:52.178 [SPEAKER_02]: And so all that to say, what we're not arguing for is to just like run away and form our own separate Christian clubs and cuddle together. 05:52.558 --> 06:18.592 [SPEAKER_02]: we're trying to help parents see that there's a way forward where you can still exist within a broken system that some that sports something created by God to be good has been broken and twisted we can still exist in this system and move forward and do so in ways that are different from the rest of the world but a lot of times we just don't think creatively enough to in wonder what does that actually look like because the Bible is not going to tell us directly how do you deal with you sports in twenty twenty five and so we 06:19.272 --> 06:21.113 [SPEAKER_02]: We need to do some creative thinking there. 06:21.133 --> 06:29.958 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's what we're trying to do in this book is just help bring the Bible, God towards a bear on this current moment in you sport and say, how do we live faithfully in this system? 06:30.179 --> 06:30.419 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 06:31.139 --> 06:36.202 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think it would be so easy and it's so tempting sometimes to just be like, let's just quit it all. 06:36.342 --> 06:37.683 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, let's not do this sport. 06:37.743 --> 06:40.725 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's like go against culture and just say we're not going to be a part of it. 06:41.345 --> 06:43.527 [SPEAKER_01]: I just don't think that's a reality for that many people. 06:43.608 --> 06:48.393 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I think I've mentioned on this podcast before like both my sons, their main sport is baseball. 06:48.453 --> 06:57.343 [SPEAKER_01]: We also have some basketball in there, some football, some karate, my daughter dances, which is like a one sport thing, but to be a dancer, you have to be a gymnast now, too. 06:57.703 --> 06:58.524 [SPEAKER_01]: We are family. 06:58.564 --> 07:00.166 [SPEAKER_01]: We are like right in the sports. 07:00.966 --> 07:07.289 [SPEAKER_01]: So I come at this conversation curious in needing help as much as I mean anyone else. 07:07.449 --> 07:09.810 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's not like I know what what is best here. 07:09.850 --> 07:27.616 [SPEAKER_01]: So I have so many questions and I think what in the main ones is kind of you touched on this a little bit but like getting to the parents heart behind it too because parents put a lot of pressure on their kids maybe they're like living through them a little bit maybe they're getting a little more into it pushing harder than their kids are ready for. 07:29.077 --> 07:38.500 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you think there's like warning signs if you're a parent that you should be looking for, where I, this is a little, my thinking is disordered here, or my identity is wrapped up in my kid's sports. 07:38.540 --> 07:41.542 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, is I, what can we be looking for to keep us level? 07:41.742 --> 07:45.063 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I would start by saying an Edward agree with us too. 07:45.563 --> 07:50.245 [SPEAKER_02]: We really do believe most parents, Christian parents are well-intentioned when it comes to use sports. 07:50.285 --> 07:52.325 [SPEAKER_02]: And so this isn't meant to shame anybody. 07:52.646 --> 07:55.887 [SPEAKER_02]: We have made all of the mistakes that we talk about in the book that we should not make. 07:56.667 --> 07:58.488 [SPEAKER_02]: And so to say, like, we get it. 07:59.028 --> 08:09.252 [SPEAKER_02]: I think one of the things that I'm looking out for in my own heart when I'm in the youth sports space is I responding not just in my heart, but through audible words to other people. 08:09.292 --> 08:16.134 [SPEAKER_02]: Am I responding in a ways that are that are inconsistent with not just my own family values, but my Christian values as well. 08:16.174 --> 08:21.036 [SPEAKER_02]: And so when I'm driving home in the car, I'm I'm processing what came out of my mouth. 08:21.116 --> 08:22.797 [SPEAKER_02]: What was my heart posture like during times? 08:22.857 --> 08:25.378 [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm able to see the disconnect oftentimes between 08:25.798 --> 08:29.624 [SPEAKER_02]: how I acted in that environment and the faith I claimed to hold. 08:29.664 --> 08:41.341 [SPEAKER_02]: And so I think that's that's one thing we can do is just kind of do a self analysis after the game to see, yeah, was I representing Jesus well in that space today and then to give ourselves grace and try to do it better the next time. 08:41.501 --> 08:57.366 [SPEAKER_00]: One of the things that Brian and I have talked about for years is just how much the fear of an imagined future winds up affecting what we're doing and how we're operating today on the way to practice or after practice or the games or whatever that 08:58.066 --> 08:59.907 [SPEAKER_00]: We're afraid that our kids are going to miss out. 08:59.967 --> 09:05.869 [SPEAKER_00]: We're afraid they're not going to make the high school team that they're what we're afraid they're not going to get a college scholarship. 09:05.889 --> 09:10.091 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I still think that very much influences people is thinking they don't want to talk about it. 09:10.151 --> 09:15.553 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe, but they really still believe they're going to be part of that two percent of kids that wind up playing college. 09:15.693 --> 09:20.655 [SPEAKER_00]: And so everything that we do today and every performance today matters for tomorrow. 09:21.076 --> 09:24.257 [SPEAKER_00]: And the system, again, we'll call it a system. 09:24.637 --> 09:26.398 [SPEAKER_00]: A complex is actually 09:26.898 --> 09:37.603 [SPEAKER_00]: Taking advantage of those fears and his feeding them and his is saying if you're not here today when when he's ten he's going to be missing out on making the team when he's eighteen 09:38.574 --> 09:45.961 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, our fortune if she doesn't show up year-round in this sport with our club, she's already gonna be behind by next year. 09:46.121 --> 09:55.690 [SPEAKER_00]: And so of course, as parents, even if we know we're being manipulated, it ties into, it taps into, it interferes that we have, that we don't want them to miss out. 09:56.050 --> 10:00.995 [SPEAKER_00]: And when everybody else is doing it, we feel like we better do it too, or we're gonna regret it. 10:01.215 --> 10:08.221 [SPEAKER_00]: So to become more aware of that and to become more aware of how much my identity is tied to my child's performance. 10:08.601 --> 10:14.325 [SPEAKER_00]: If I'm intensely embarrassed, it's natural to feel some kind of negative way when bad things happen. 10:14.345 --> 10:26.735 [SPEAKER_00]: But if I'm so deeply embarrassed that I feel like I need to do perception management in the stands when my kid messes up or if on the other hand when they do well, I start to feel like I'm somehow superior to everybody else in the stands. 10:27.035 --> 10:31.576 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, nobody wouldn't necessarily see that or know that except for me. 10:31.936 --> 10:37.017 [SPEAKER_00]: That's when I'm starting to go over a line that maybe this is not healthy because it's really our kids athletic journey. 10:37.057 --> 10:39.217 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not really supposed to be about us. 10:39.838 --> 10:40.098 [SPEAKER_01]: Right. 10:40.518 --> 10:40.738 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 10:41.298 --> 10:43.458 [SPEAKER_00]: But it winds up being a lot about us. 10:43.778 --> 10:44.058 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 10:44.519 --> 10:49.640 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you have any tips for like walking yourself away from that or like talking yourself down? 10:49.660 --> 10:51.880 [SPEAKER_01]: Because I feel that with myself getting 10:52.323 --> 11:13.647 [SPEAKER_01]: cut up with oh my gosh we got to get the batting average up we should take them to the batting cages or we should go do pitching lessons or he's really has so much potential to be a great catcher let's do extra training and let's go to all the acro like there's so many things you can add because it's an industry and I have to constantly talk myself down and be like chill out for a minute look David like how do I keep doing that 11:13.947 --> 11:14.748 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we do. 11:14.788 --> 11:17.410 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, we've struggled with this ourselves too. 11:17.530 --> 11:19.191 [SPEAKER_00]: So you're not at all alone. 11:19.371 --> 11:21.873 [SPEAKER_00]: You're in a minority of people that will say it out loud. 11:22.794 --> 11:28.578 [SPEAKER_00]: And for help, you know, again, Brian and I've been doing that with our selves and with other people around us for years now. 11:28.959 --> 11:30.560 [SPEAKER_00]: Brian, what would you say to that first? 11:30.900 --> 11:40.207 [SPEAKER_02]: I was going to say exactly, you said the beginning part is to say, is the question, is this the right thing to do or not and just follow or just follow the crowd on what everybody else is doing? 11:40.427 --> 11:49.014 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm wondering, and we haven't talked about this before, but when faced with those circumstances, how helpful might it be to talk to somebody who has actually made it? 11:49.374 --> 11:51.516 [SPEAKER_02]: And I put made it in quotes of like somebody who is 11:51.856 --> 12:06.725 [SPEAKER_02]: who's made it to college or made it to the pros and just ask what their journey was like and what they did and didn't do and maybe use that as a as a pathway to to making wise decisions again if your kid is on that path who knows maybe maybe your kid's batting 12:07.204 --> 12:11.026 [SPEAKER_02]: two hundred and all the training as it get a matter for them to make it to the next level. 12:11.406 --> 12:15.148 [SPEAKER_02]: But if they do have potential, what, what does somebody who's actually made it? 12:15.488 --> 12:21.011 [SPEAKER_02]: What would they advise instead of these club teams that are going to be directly benefiting from it? 12:21.051 --> 12:29.335 [SPEAKER_02]: So I think there is wisdom in asking somebody who has no financial ties or gets no financial benefit from you and just say, hey, what would you recommend in this space? 12:29.555 --> 12:33.197 [SPEAKER_00]: So Steph, can we tell you what we've heard as we've asked that question of people? 12:33.217 --> 12:34.718 [SPEAKER_01]: I would love to know that. 12:35.198 --> 12:47.938 [SPEAKER_00]: have interacted with college and professional athletes literally across decades what they will say to us is if your kid makes it as a college athlete it's not primarily going to be because of you. 12:49.391 --> 12:51.452 [SPEAKER_00]: It voices that you're making as a parent. 12:51.712 --> 13:06.317 [SPEAKER_00]: If they make it as a college athlete, it's going to be because God has given them a level of skill, natural ability, a body, ability to move through space that's different than ninety-nine percent of all the other kids they're playing with. 13:06.697 --> 13:15.400 [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe even more importantly, he's going to give him or her a drive and inner drive to do things that are different than all the other kids. 13:16.652 --> 13:17.893 [SPEAKER_00]: You can't force that. 13:18.033 --> 13:20.774 [SPEAKER_00]: You can't nag that into him or her. 13:21.054 --> 13:22.455 [SPEAKER_00]: Still struggling with it myself. 13:22.775 --> 13:32.559 [SPEAKER_00]: I can tell you stories even from this week, where I'm feeling it with my freshman, where I want him to be something other than what he is at this moment. 13:32.779 --> 13:41.083 [SPEAKER_00]: Even as I'm on podcast and have just written a book about it, I want him to be something different than what he is as the way in the way he approaches sport. 13:41.123 --> 13:42.784 [SPEAKER_00]: I want him to be more driven by it. 13:43.824 --> 13:44.645 [SPEAKER_00]: And he's not. 13:45.880 --> 13:46.921 [SPEAKER_00]: That might change. 13:47.421 --> 13:49.543 [SPEAKER_00]: It may never change. 13:49.583 --> 13:51.705 [SPEAKER_00]: She may not want to play anything in another year. 13:51.905 --> 13:56.790 [SPEAKER_00]: And so can I just, in a sense, respond and let them drive to bus. 13:56.810 --> 13:59.732 [SPEAKER_00]: Brian's been talking about this a lot the last couple of years. 13:59.812 --> 14:06.558 [SPEAKER_00]: What does it look like to let our kids be more in control of telling us what they want to do when it comes to sport? 14:07.199 --> 14:10.961 [SPEAKER_00]: and then take that seriously and not try to add anything to it. 14:11.141 --> 14:21.625 [SPEAKER_00]: So if our kids really just want to play and they aren't interested in getting better the way we want them to or excelling or becoming a better catcher or whatever, can I be okay with that? 14:21.785 --> 14:23.166 [SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of times the answer is no. 14:23.546 --> 14:27.068 [SPEAKER_00]: And so then it becomes okay and let's not talk into the kids and let's get counseling. 14:27.688 --> 14:29.809 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, why am I not okay with that? 14:29.849 --> 14:30.389 [SPEAKER_00]: Seriously. 14:30.409 --> 14:30.489 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 14:30.730 --> 14:33.391 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I think that applies to more than just sports, too, right? 14:33.411 --> 14:37.433 [SPEAKER_01]: That can be school or like career choices. 14:37.693 --> 14:38.593 [SPEAKER_01]: That can be a lot of things. 14:38.853 --> 14:52.520 [SPEAKER_00]: Especially when you live in an environment like we just talked about stuff where you're in a very competitive school system and the people are maybe much more upwardly mobile and there's an expectation of excellence and the pursuit of climbing the ladder. 14:52.820 --> 14:56.242 [SPEAKER_00]: When that's already the water that you're swimming in, 14:56.758 --> 15:03.986 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, with your neighbors and at the school, it's really hard to separate ourselves from that and say, I'm not going to do that to my kid. 15:04.287 --> 15:04.567 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 15:05.007 --> 15:05.828 [SPEAKER_00]: We're doing it to him. 15:06.029 --> 15:06.289 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 15:06.970 --> 15:11.695 [SPEAKER_02]: Unless the same court that right, like, unless the kid is driving the process and they're saying, mom, dad. 15:12.893 --> 15:14.194 [SPEAKER_02]: I really want to fix my swing. 15:14.214 --> 15:17.355 [SPEAKER_02]: I think I need individual somebody to help with that. 15:17.795 --> 15:20.136 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, more than you do it for sure. 15:20.437 --> 15:26.219 [SPEAKER_02]: But that's coming to them and saying, Hey, we're we're thinking about getting you this this and this, can we fit this in? 15:26.559 --> 15:31.862 [SPEAKER_02]: That's why I would just say we might need to pause a little bit and ask what they really want in the process because they might just want a break. 15:32.266 --> 15:34.447 [SPEAKER_02]: into to spend a few months hanging out with their friends. 15:35.527 --> 15:47.932 [SPEAKER_00]: We spend so much time on their performance, their athletic performance, and we probably don't give enough time to thinking about their life, and specifically their life as a Jesus follower. 15:48.632 --> 15:51.153 [SPEAKER_00]: How do we that's the whole point of kind of why we wrote this book? 15:51.253 --> 15:53.294 [SPEAKER_00]: How do we we're not saying that winning? 15:53.414 --> 15:54.415 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't care about winning. 15:54.455 --> 15:57.156 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not saying that we don't want to pursue excellence. 15:57.196 --> 15:59.397 [SPEAKER_00]: Of course we do if we're participating. 15:59.477 --> 16:03.018 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's push them to be the best they can be in the space that they're in. 16:03.539 --> 16:04.999 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still all for that. 16:05.359 --> 16:06.500 [SPEAKER_00]: The best that they want to be. 16:06.920 --> 16:11.224 [SPEAKER_00]: But what's way more important is am I helping them to grow in character? 16:11.484 --> 16:22.013 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I helping them to think about Christian categories and what it means to be loving and what it means to persist and what it means to be humble? 16:22.313 --> 16:29.480 [SPEAKER_00]: And these things that actually will make a huge difference when they're thirty, if we've taught on the live well right now on their thirteen, 16:29.920 --> 16:40.389 [SPEAKER_00]: But how many times my son takes a called strike three and just, you know, never guards the outside corner and that's the thing that's actually driving me crazy and I'm spending all my time and attention and money. 16:40.429 --> 16:48.896 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to fix that in them instead of why they don't go through the handshake line in a way that gives dignity to other people after the game when they lose. 16:50.978 --> 16:55.962 [SPEAKER_00]: That's probably way more important and probably not what we're giving enough attention to. 16:56.233 --> 16:56.473 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 16:56.813 --> 16:58.374 [SPEAKER_01]: And there's so much of a balance, too. 16:58.474 --> 17:03.778 [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I heard on a podcast once people saying, sign your kids up for all the extras. 17:04.018 --> 17:07.360 [SPEAKER_01]: That makes sense for your family if they ask, but if they don't ask, don't do anything. 17:07.500 --> 17:08.321 [SPEAKER_01]: Because they don't care. 17:08.341 --> 17:09.982 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, that's probably true. 17:10.062 --> 17:11.323 [SPEAKER_01]: So we've kind of followed that. 17:11.983 --> 17:14.024 [SPEAKER_01]: And I have to hold my daughter back from everything. 17:14.124 --> 17:17.285 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, she wants to be dancing seven days a week and do all the things. 17:17.365 --> 17:19.065 [SPEAKER_01]: And at a certain point, I'm like, you're nine years old. 17:19.165 --> 17:22.286 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you dance Friday Saturday Sunday, you're going to miss all your birthday parties. 17:22.587 --> 17:25.267 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's more important right now than your sports. 17:25.508 --> 17:29.809 [SPEAKER_01]: And building up character and learning that sometimes you have to wait to do the things that you want to do. 17:29.909 --> 17:32.590 [SPEAKER_01]: Like you just have to wait a few years to do twelve dances. 17:33.030 --> 17:36.192 [SPEAKER_01]: like that just you don't get to do everything you want to do right now. 17:36.212 --> 17:52.184 [SPEAKER_01]: I think part of that is some of the what you sports used to be in the supposed to be is character building and you know developing relationships with peers and learning how to be competitive and that is what we kind of lose focus on when it's so much about rising to the top. 17:52.385 --> 18:01.972 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah and it makes sense that we would lose focus and make the shift from what you sports used to be to what it is today because the people at the top who are selling us this are that's what they're 18:02.352 --> 18:03.773 [SPEAKER_02]: That's what they're selling is your kid. 18:03.973 --> 18:07.276 [SPEAKER_02]: If you enter into the system is going to make it and be that two percent. 18:07.636 --> 18:11.939 [SPEAKER_02]: If you just sign up for this next class, this next team, this next league. 18:12.219 --> 18:21.786 [SPEAKER_02]: And so they're putting us on this really, it's a discipleship journey where the end goal is your kid needs to be a winner and end product, elite, whatever you want to do. 18:21.966 --> 18:25.389 [SPEAKER_02]: And so that's our only experience when it comes to use sports is what 18:26.190 --> 18:27.611 [SPEAKER_02]: is being fed to us from other people. 18:27.771 --> 18:36.598 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's it's unfortunate, but it also makes sense because that's the only vision we're seeing these days is not the the sand lot backyard sports that we used to see growing up. 18:37.098 --> 18:46.386 [SPEAKER_02]: We're just now seeing the the Instagram Twitter Facebook leagues where you're just getting the highlights of these kids who are eight years old and are 18:46.766 --> 19:05.538 [SPEAKER_02]: ridiculously good and we're comparing our kid who seems way way far behind to that and like Ed said it puts us in the sphere mode where it's like man we got a lot of catching up to do so what do we need to do to get there it's good Brian and we you know there's a there's a huge emphasis on specialization at super early ages 19:06.258 --> 19:10.779 [SPEAKER_00]: And so Steph, you've made me think of this when you were seeing your daughter wants to dance all the time, which is great. 19:10.839 --> 19:14.120 [SPEAKER_00]: Like that's super fun that she wants to do that and she's all into it. 19:14.481 --> 19:21.343 [SPEAKER_00]: But I think what's going through my mind is as a parent, I have some responsibility to help steward 19:22.123 --> 19:25.007 [SPEAKER_00]: her not overusing her body and muscle. 19:25.027 --> 19:37.265 [SPEAKER_00]: So again, this is what you find out when you talk to people who are already ten years down the road that specialization too early in any sport where we're overusing certain muscles and underusing other ones. 19:37.745 --> 19:40.628 [SPEAKER_00]: is not good for us as athletes, so it really is good. 19:40.688 --> 19:46.272 [SPEAKER_00]: Even at a young age to stay involved in lots of different things, but then too, just to be well-rounded. 19:46.292 --> 19:55.620 [SPEAKER_00]: I'd love what you just said about go-to-birthday parties, because you're only going to get a few chances relative to your whole life to go through those and enjoy them. 19:55.640 --> 19:58.683 [SPEAKER_00]: There's going to be a million chances to dance. 19:58.703 --> 20:03.087 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, as this continues to be a part of her life and using that example, 20:03.487 --> 20:09.929 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I steward knowing what I know to help them be well-rounded and not to specialize too quickly? 20:09.949 --> 20:14.090 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, like Brian just said, the sport complex is not about that at all. 20:14.190 --> 20:18.091 [SPEAKER_00]: We want you to specialize now and we're not interested in you being well-rounded at all. 20:18.471 --> 20:23.653 [SPEAKER_00]: We want you to focus on this and we really want you to pay money and show up at our stuff. 20:24.013 --> 20:25.273 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what we're saying at the beginning. 20:25.313 --> 20:27.954 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not what's best for kids necessarily. 20:27.974 --> 20:28.994 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just not. 20:29.574 --> 20:31.075 [SPEAKER_02]: The researchers say that too, but from 20:31.882 --> 20:36.523 [SPEAKER_02]: from a Christian perspective, there's the whole, your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit. 20:36.563 --> 20:52.067 [SPEAKER_02]: So we haven't talked about that either, but there is this aspect of like maybe helping our kids be more rounded physically could actually be when some in a Christian sense and helping develop to more holistic the different muscles that might be underdeveloped in other sports. 20:52.427 --> 20:56.848 [SPEAKER_02]: Like if we're just doing soccer year-round studies are showing that 20:57.545 --> 20:59.926 [SPEAKER_02]: you're going to see more ACL tears. 20:59.986 --> 21:17.014 [SPEAKER_02]: And so yeah, you can use data in general wisdom, but there is a there is a Christian element to that too of like, man, if God has gifted us with these bodies and we're supposed to take care of them, it seems like it would make sense to develop them more holistically than just specializing, especially early on before they fully developed. 21:17.294 --> 21:18.315 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely. 21:18.335 --> 21:24.678 [SPEAKER_01]: And thinking about the Christian faith and how, I mean, everyone listening to this podcast, they're listening because they want 21:25.085 --> 21:28.949 [SPEAKER_01]: to be stronger Christian parents and to raise their kids to follow Jesus. 21:28.989 --> 21:36.897 [SPEAKER_01]: So how can we knowing that this is the reality of sports today and there's only so much we can do to change that and we're gonna be living in it. 21:37.017 --> 21:48.248 [SPEAKER_01]: How can Christian parents integrate scripture and prayer and their identity and Christ like into sports helping their kids to understand that that's the most important thing and that's who they are more than. 21:49.229 --> 21:52.993 [SPEAKER_01]: A baseball player, like your Christian new plays baseball before you're just a baseball player. 21:53.053 --> 21:53.353 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 21:53.673 --> 21:54.975 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's what the whole book is about. 21:55.195 --> 22:05.925 [SPEAKER_00]: And more, you know, again, Brian and I continue to talk because the books not the final word on all of it, but it's at least going to open up discussions for parents, very, very practical ways on how to do that. 22:06.125 --> 22:12.749 [SPEAKER_00]: One of the things that I would put on the table first is just what our overall attitude maybe needs to be first when it comes to sports. 22:12.789 --> 22:14.290 [SPEAKER_00]: That we don't need to view it as an enemy. 22:14.650 --> 22:17.051 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, you feel torn in different directions. 22:17.411 --> 22:18.832 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to view it as an enemy. 22:18.852 --> 22:22.654 [SPEAKER_00]: I also shouldn't go all in on everything that's being offered. 22:22.875 --> 22:25.116 [SPEAKER_00]: Like those two extremes are not healthy. 22:25.676 --> 22:27.097 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I live in the middle of it? 22:27.137 --> 22:31.419 [SPEAKER_00]: And we say, we're really trying to model what Daniel did in the Bible. 22:31.519 --> 22:35.182 [SPEAKER_00]: Where Daniel's living in this completely pagan Babylon, 22:37.022 --> 22:41.684 [SPEAKER_00]: That's got completely different values from him and his God-fearing friends. 22:42.024 --> 22:43.825 [SPEAKER_00]: And he doesn't try to change Babylon. 22:44.785 --> 22:47.066 [SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't try to lead a coup against it. 22:47.686 --> 22:53.789 [SPEAKER_00]: Nor does he completely separate himself from it and get completely detached, but he's involved in it. 22:54.129 --> 22:59.871 [SPEAKER_00]: And he does it in a way that says, how can we follow God in a faithful way right in the midst of this as it's going on? 23:00.311 --> 23:13.477 [SPEAKER_00]: And that may seem so obvious to everybody, but again, it takes a lot of inner work for me to think about that every day before we go to practice or a game or I wanna say something to the one sun that's still at home. 23:13.497 --> 23:19.059 [SPEAKER_00]: I need to think about like, what is my posture gonna be towards this whole thing? 23:19.400 --> 23:24.782 [SPEAKER_00]: And how do I help him to see a bigger picture than just what's right in front of us right now? 23:25.162 --> 23:28.744 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's a starting point, Brian, what would you say that maybe is even more practical? 23:29.164 --> 23:33.145 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we've been using language like what we celebrate our kids will replicate. 23:33.325 --> 23:35.185 [SPEAKER_02]: So what we celebrate our kids will replicate. 23:35.405 --> 23:55.989 [SPEAKER_02]: And so if what our kids are done with practice or a game, at some point when we're processing how things went, if they're consistently hearing us talk about their performance and celebrating the good hit or the good catch or the good shot, what are they going to think that they need to do to get affirmation of affection and love from us as parents? 23:56.009 --> 23:58.090 [SPEAKER_02]: So I got to make sure I keep getting 23:58.610 --> 24:04.575 [SPEAKER_02]: the good hit or the good catch or the good shot because I know that when I do those things, they seem to be excited. 24:04.775 --> 24:14.322 [SPEAKER_02]: So we need to change what we're excited about if we really are trying to use sports to build Christian character and our kids and leverage the amazing moments that sports provide. 24:14.362 --> 24:19.026 [SPEAKER_02]: Like the ultimate highs and the lowest of lows are all incredible discipleship opportunities. 24:19.226 --> 24:26.732 [SPEAKER_02]: We need to make sure that when we're processing what we're seeing with them on the field or on the court, the pool, we're saying things like 24:27.133 --> 24:46.005 [SPEAKER_02]: paying attention to who they're who they're spending time with like I noticed you with the kid at the end of the bench today keep that up that that's such a great reflection of Jesus when you include other people or hey I saw you today when your teammate struck out and you went up and you just you just had it on the back but he most people would just ignore them or even gossip behind their back 24:46.671 --> 24:47.291 [SPEAKER_02]: but you didn't. 24:47.431 --> 24:55.576 [SPEAKER_02]: And on the flip side, if they're ignoring these kids, then it's still an opportunity to say, hey, when they struck out today, I don't know if you noticed, but everybody ignored them. 24:56.396 --> 25:02.740 [SPEAKER_02]: What do you think it would look like at practice or the next game next time somebody strikes out for you to actually go up and encourage them? 25:03.440 --> 25:13.973 [SPEAKER_02]: And so for them to begin to see like, oh man, mom and dad, they're starting to pay attention to things beyond just the earthly metrics and the things that are reflected on the score sheet or the score board. 25:14.333 --> 25:20.681 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that once our kids start to recognize that what we care about is more than just the stats and the scores. 25:21.041 --> 25:23.204 [SPEAKER_02]: Hopefully they'll begin living in ways that 25:23.937 --> 25:24.917 [SPEAKER_02]: that reflect that too. 25:25.277 --> 25:31.519 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's what the books about is helping, how do we recognize those moments and how do we enter into it in a way that's not super cheesy or awful? 25:31.619 --> 25:36.040 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think the more you do it and the more you talk about it, the less cheesy and awkward it becomes too, right? 25:36.100 --> 25:43.302 [SPEAKER_01]: Like it might feel uncomfortable the first time, but we all have a million uncomfortable conversations with our kids and we figured out. 25:43.842 --> 25:45.643 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, add those to the file. 25:46.323 --> 25:47.824 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and it's probably the better one to add. 25:47.884 --> 25:57.487 [SPEAKER_01]: So I kind of want to one more thing to think about as we're talking is I feel like a lot of people struggle with the, you know, Wednesday nights used to not be sports nights because it was youth group night. 25:58.207 --> 26:02.429 [SPEAKER_01]: And Sunday mornings, some sports are really good at not having Sunday morning things. 26:02.549 --> 26:11.892 [SPEAKER_01]: Some are not like how can families balance all that reclaim their own family rhythms, their own importance are going to church or youth group, but also 26:13.172 --> 26:13.893 [SPEAKER_01]: there in sports. 26:14.173 --> 26:19.097 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and Brian, I've been kicking this around a lot lately, too, just even how we want to talk about this. 26:19.197 --> 26:23.861 [SPEAKER_02]: So I was looking forward, Ed, you go, I would just say this is an entire podcast. 26:24.321 --> 26:28.865 [SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't an entire chapter in the book that didn't make it that we're working on, redamping. 26:29.225 --> 26:33.789 [SPEAKER_02]: And so even in the next three minutes, it's such a nuanced and complex conversation. 26:33.809 --> 26:35.531 [SPEAKER_02]: We probably won't get to all that. 26:35.711 --> 26:40.675 [SPEAKER_02]: So Ed, just to set you up with that, like, there's a lot of factors that go into a conversation like this. 26:41.035 --> 26:42.796 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's a good Brian. 26:42.896 --> 26:46.017 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll put two extremes on the table to start one. 26:46.777 --> 26:51.299 [SPEAKER_00]: It really is okay to say you're not going to play sports on Sunday. 26:51.519 --> 26:53.460 [SPEAKER_00]: I know that sounds really antiquated. 26:53.720 --> 26:58.362 [SPEAKER_00]: We know that leagues and everybody's scheduling things like crazy, especially the last ten years. 26:58.422 --> 26:59.603 [SPEAKER_00]: That's just a norm now. 27:00.303 --> 27:04.525 [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't want to play on Sunday, that is a legitimate option. 27:04.865 --> 27:08.907 [SPEAKER_00]: And coaches, if you tell them that ahead of time, we'll respect that. 27:09.127 --> 27:14.930 [SPEAKER_00]: Even though they're putting tons of pressure on and, you know, we'll put different threats down or whatever. 27:15.110 --> 27:20.533 [SPEAKER_00]: If you just say upfront, we're not going to show up before noon, let's say, on Sundays or whatever. 27:20.873 --> 27:22.934 [SPEAKER_00]: They will, they will usually respect that. 27:23.314 --> 27:29.339 [SPEAKER_00]: But whether they do or don't, you still have permission and the right to say we're not gonna participate on Sundays. 27:29.419 --> 27:31.000 [SPEAKER_00]: So I just feel like we need to put that out there. 27:31.340 --> 27:45.671 [SPEAKER_00]: At the other end of the spectrum and Brian and I have been saying this pretty consistently, we believe that we should have a consistent rhythm to gathering with the people of God at church across our lives. 27:45.831 --> 27:48.654 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so we're very intentionally about what we're saying. 27:48.754 --> 27:52.897 [SPEAKER_00]: A consistent rhythm of gathering at church across our lives. 27:53.257 --> 28:02.468 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, especially since COVID, a lot of people have just completely checked out, ungathering together with other Christians in what we've called what we call church. 28:03.589 --> 28:07.654 [SPEAKER_00]: And we think that's not healthy for our kids as Christians. 28:07.714 --> 28:09.016 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not a good idea. 28:09.977 --> 28:14.919 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, there's now all kinds of different nuances in between those two extremes. 28:15.099 --> 28:20.241 [SPEAKER_00]: But we're saying it's okay to say you're not going to show up to play at games if you don't want to on Sunday. 28:20.621 --> 28:25.843 [SPEAKER_00]: And we think that you really should be trying to figure out how to be in church, okay, that we will put that on the table. 28:25.863 --> 28:28.263 [SPEAKER_00]: But that's going to look different for everybody. 28:28.644 --> 28:31.985 [SPEAKER_00]: Brian, you have just gave you some time to think about what else you want to say about it. 28:32.545 --> 28:34.185 [SPEAKER_00]: But what else can that look like? 28:34.566 --> 28:38.387 [SPEAKER_00]: What have we said to each other, Brian, about what else that can look like? 28:38.587 --> 28:56.808 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we talked through categories of like if you're going to, if you're going to miss it, what makes it, not that it needs to be made okay, but what, what ways could you stand right before yourself, your family and before God to say like, we missed it, but so if you actually take up the posture of we're using this to be missional, 28:57.509 --> 29:08.194 [SPEAKER_02]: If you're taking seriously the second Corinthians, you've been a reconciled to God, so you've been given the Ministry of Reconciliation, which means, hey, you are whether you want it or not, you are a sports missionary. 29:08.314 --> 29:10.275 [SPEAKER_02]: If you are a Christian and your kid is in sports, 29:10.700 --> 29:11.801 [SPEAKER_02]: your sports missionary. 29:12.001 --> 29:18.866 [SPEAKER_02]: And so if you're missing church for for sports, are you actually embodying Jesus while you're on the field? 29:18.926 --> 29:22.508 [SPEAKER_02]: Are you not that you need to like be handing out tracks and sharing the gospel with everybody? 29:22.528 --> 29:25.310 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, what is that Brian and we talk about that? 29:25.330 --> 29:29.974 [SPEAKER_00]: It means taking an interest beyond the surface of the other parents. 29:30.394 --> 29:32.255 [SPEAKER_02]: It means not only earning your names. 29:32.596 --> 29:40.081 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, starting up a conversation, showing that you're not there with your phone just staring at your kid the entire time so you can talk to them afterwards. 29:40.451 --> 29:45.615 [SPEAKER_02]: But you're there to be, mission all you're there to be a person who's showing interest in other people's lives. 29:45.655 --> 29:51.200 [SPEAKER_02]: And again, not, you don't need to give them a full gospel presentation, but do other people feel seen by you. 29:51.220 --> 30:03.289 [SPEAKER_02]: So I would say that we've used this too of like man, if Chick-fil-A can build an entire food empire and not be open on Sunday and God somehow is blessing that. 30:03.590 --> 30:05.151 [SPEAKER_02]: It is not around the think 30:05.840 --> 30:16.670 [SPEAKER_02]: You sticking to your guns and attending church on Sunday and making that a sacred space for you, not that we can trick or manipulate God, but we need to trust if we are prioritizing him, all will be well. 30:17.210 --> 30:20.413 [SPEAKER_02]: He will take care of us in whatever ways he needs to. 30:20.493 --> 30:22.014 [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe that's our kid becoming a star. 30:22.555 --> 30:27.819 [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe it's our kid learning more what it looks like to follow Jesus, but there is something to say. 30:29.658 --> 30:35.822 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm going to put my Christian values above the sports complex values, even if it costs us something. 30:35.842 --> 30:38.864 [SPEAKER_02]: Which is something that I realize that's tough for a lot of families. 30:39.864 --> 30:45.428 [SPEAKER_00]: We've said, too, that we want to ask, what are we missing by not being present on a Sunday? 30:45.748 --> 30:46.289 [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say. 30:47.109 --> 30:54.274 [SPEAKER_00]: If that's really the only time that our kids and we are being fed spiritually, that's probably already a problem. 30:55.432 --> 31:03.985 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, that's a longer conversation, but that's probably already a problem with all of our eggs are in that little two-hour window basket as far as our spiritual input. 31:04.325 --> 31:05.868 [SPEAKER_00]: So that would be one thing to talk about. 31:06.168 --> 31:07.871 [SPEAKER_00]: But how do we continue to fill in? 31:10.995 --> 31:12.515 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so we're gonna miss the sermon. 31:12.716 --> 31:17.217 [SPEAKER_00]: Is there some way that we could still listen to a sermon as we're driving or coming back? 31:17.637 --> 31:26.680 [SPEAKER_00]: We were just talking to a group of youth pastors yesterday who said, you know, what, what if we were able to curate when we know that people are playing in these different cities around the area? 31:26.720 --> 31:31.301 [SPEAKER_00]: What if we curated other churches for people to be able to go to visit when they are in another city? 31:31.541 --> 31:32.301 [SPEAKER_00]: Some people want to do that. 31:32.341 --> 31:40.566 [SPEAKER_00]: I've known dads that actually were taking their kids to church when they would drive three hours to a soccer tournament when Northern Ohio and I would come to find out. 31:40.606 --> 31:48.070 [SPEAKER_00]: They actually went to church service because they just wanted to expose their kids to a different environment and they wanted to show that this is still what we do. 31:48.110 --> 31:58.655 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to we're going to get with a body of people on the weekends or curate a list of a podcast to listen to or messages to listen to so that we're saying this is still a value. 31:58.695 --> 32:00.416 [SPEAKER_00]: We just took it on the road with us. 32:00.956 --> 32:13.563 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna communion in the car necessarily, but to think creatively about how to continue to feed your family, spiritually, even if you miss being in a particular building on a Saturday morning. 32:13.923 --> 32:28.892 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I think that's so, I mean, that's just so much to think about, and I love so many of those ideas, because the reality is we are gonna mischurch with our families, whether it's for sports or a vacation or whatever, you know, like it's just gonna happen, and it's just how much are you willing to do, how much is it 32:29.313 --> 32:33.360 [SPEAKER_01]: being a detriment to your faith and your child's faith, and then is that it? 32:33.380 --> 32:38.128 [SPEAKER_01]: Because if that's what you're relying on to your point, that's a bigger discussion as well, too. 32:38.249 --> 32:40.292 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's supposed to be part of your life, not all of it. 32:40.946 --> 32:43.027 [SPEAKER_00]: That's right, part but not all I love how you said that. 32:43.147 --> 32:47.408 [SPEAKER_00]: And we need to take the initiative as parents before we sign up for the team. 32:47.568 --> 32:54.051 [SPEAKER_00]: And again, I've made this mistake too many times to actually ask, how many tournaments are we gonna play? 32:54.211 --> 32:55.631 [SPEAKER_00]: And where are they gonna eat? 32:55.991 --> 32:57.952 [SPEAKER_00]: And like, let's really look at the schedule. 32:57.992 --> 33:06.215 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you've got three kids that are playing different sports, as again, as mom and dad, let's sit down and look at what this is really gonna mean for us. 33:06.555 --> 33:08.600 [SPEAKER_00]: And how much, yeah, how much is too much? 33:08.800 --> 33:11.346 [SPEAKER_00]: Every family is gonna have to decide that for themselves. 33:13.085 --> 33:17.327 [SPEAKER_00]: most of the time, we don't even know that it's gonna happen until after it already happens. 33:17.607 --> 33:20.308 [SPEAKER_00]: And then we look back and say, why in the world did we let that happen? 33:20.408 --> 33:22.109 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there was one weekend this year. 33:22.509 --> 33:29.632 [SPEAKER_01]: We had my daughter's dance recitals, which there are six of them, and my husband Trevor was in them with her, because he did the dance and daughters dance. 33:30.052 --> 33:33.813 [SPEAKER_01]: And then both our boys were at separate baseball tournaments, like two hours away from each other. 33:33.913 --> 33:36.574 [SPEAKER_01]: And that was our one crazy, I mean, it was insanity. 33:36.674 --> 33:37.735 [SPEAKER_01]: Most weekends aren't like that. 33:37.855 --> 33:40.276 [SPEAKER_01]: But we just kind of joked with our oldest, we're like, getting in a new bar. 33:42.583 --> 33:43.544 [SPEAKER_01]: We sent him with a friend. 33:43.564 --> 33:47.085 [SPEAKER_01]: We did not send him an Uber to be clear, but it was our running joke. 33:47.406 --> 33:48.566 [SPEAKER_01]: I would just figure it out. 33:48.646 --> 33:49.586 [SPEAKER_00]: We'd done the same thing. 33:49.626 --> 33:50.947 [SPEAKER_00]: It's sometimes you can't help it. 33:51.227 --> 33:58.910 [SPEAKER_00]: But again, I just think we're encouraging ourselves as parents to be more intentional and more thoughtful about what's actually happening. 33:58.950 --> 34:06.053 [SPEAKER_00]: Again, not to condemn ourselves, but just so that we can be better stewards of our own lives and the lives of our kids. 34:06.313 --> 34:06.533 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 34:06.714 --> 34:10.155 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you guys have any like final encouragement for parents before we could? 34:10.535 --> 34:16.057 [SPEAKER_02]: We've been saying from the start that we, we hope that people will read this book in community with other people. 34:16.617 --> 34:22.660 [SPEAKER_02]: The point of the book is that we would really see what's going on on the field and use that as a discipleship opportunity. 34:22.760 --> 34:34.304 [SPEAKER_02]: But that works really, it works a lot better when you're doing that in community with other people where there's accountability and you can cheer each other on and do exactly what we're doing right now and share ideas and this is what's working for us and here's what's not. 34:34.584 --> 34:36.605 [SPEAKER_02]: So if you do read the book, 34:37.005 --> 34:40.087 [SPEAKER_02]: read it with somebody else to be creative together and see what God does with them. 34:40.287 --> 34:59.238 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we really hope that there's just more conversations that come out of this and that parents feel like they have permission to actually be countercultural a little bit like still in the sport world like we said, but be countercultural in the midst of it in a way that will help kids flourish and just bring a little more sanity back to your own life. 34:59.518 --> 34:59.678 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 35:00.297 --> 35:03.558 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I'm going to put a link to the book and show notes that people can find it. 35:03.738 --> 35:05.859 [SPEAKER_01]: I, like, read, I loved it. 35:05.959 --> 35:07.060 [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's so helpful. 35:07.160 --> 35:09.441 [SPEAKER_01]: It's a really useful and very much-needed tool. 35:09.461 --> 35:13.943 [SPEAKER_01]: So I truly do recommend that people go get a copy and read through it with someone else. 35:14.043 --> 35:14.803 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that idea. 35:15.303 --> 35:18.005 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think I'm probably going to have to have you guys back on to continue this conversation. 35:18.465 --> 35:21.746 [SPEAKER_01]: Talk about Sundays and all the things because there's so much to talk about. 35:21.926 --> 35:22.707 [SPEAKER_01]: So thank you. 35:24.353 --> 35:24.793 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. 35:24.853 --> 35:26.654 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for just doing the work you're doing. 35:26.694 --> 35:27.354 [SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate it. 35:27.594 --> 35:28.534 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. 35:28.554 --> 35:29.755 [SPEAKER_00]: Still trying to figure out. 35:30.495 --> 35:31.375 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, aren't we all? 35:31.616 --> 35:33.276 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the thing with parenting. 35:34.016 --> 35:34.236 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. 35:34.437 --> 35:36.397 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, thank you guys so much for being here. 35:36.417 --> 35:37.878 [SPEAKER_01]: I just really appreciate your time. 35:37.898 --> 35:38.238 [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks. 35:38.258 --> 35:38.478 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks. 35:41.539 --> 35:45.240 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for joining this conversation on youth sports and parenting. 35:45.280 --> 35:47.841 [SPEAKER_01]: We really hope you feel encouraged to lead with intention. 35:48.081 --> 35:49.702 [SPEAKER_01]: Prioritizing your child's character. 35:50.267 --> 35:53.829 [SPEAKER_01]: keeping faith at the center and creating healthy boundaries for your family. 35:53.889 --> 35:55.270 [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever that looks like for you. 35:55.731 --> 35:58.172 [SPEAKER_01]: Remember it's not about raising the best athlete. 35:58.312 --> 36:01.435 [SPEAKER_01]: It's about raising kids who love God and love others first. 36:02.215 --> 36:07.839 [SPEAKER_01]: May God bless you this week and give you this week and give you wisdom and every decision. 36:08.159 --> 36:10.261 [SPEAKER_01]: Peace in the pressure and joy in the journey. 36:10.841 --> 36:15.964 [SPEAKER_01]: May your family grow stronger together and may your children learn to run their race with faith and purpose. 36:16.465 --> 36:18.746 [SPEAKER_01]: We're so glad you're part of the Christian parenting community. 36:18.786 --> 36:19.467 [SPEAKER_01]: See you next time.