[SPEAKER_02]: Come on!
[SPEAKER_02]: Do confidently insecure the black guys are absolutely sure we don't know everything and I am your host Kelsey mother fucking dad how are we comfy dogs oh I feel like I've been in such a bunk lately and I'm finally coming out my bunk
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know how I cured it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's a little bit of delusion, a little bit of fake it to you make it, a little bit of mantra work, you know, waking up each day going, how lucky am I that I get to be?
[SPEAKER_02]: Do the things I get to do and I should be very great.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure.
[SPEAKER_02]: I am very grateful, you know, speaking the present tense all that jazz.
[SPEAKER_02]: How are we, confidants?
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my gosh, hey, it's starting off this episode right off the top hot ding dong.
[SPEAKER_02]: The witch is dying, maybe.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's the rundown.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's grosser than a gas station hot dog in the middle of July.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, Trump is currently possibly maybe.
[SPEAKER_02]: kicking that old bucket.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's got what doctors call a vascular condition, which is just a fancy way of saying, his legs are trying to succeed from the rest of his body.
[SPEAKER_02]: Specifically, reports say he is dealing with a chronic venous insufficiency, venous venous.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, don't Google it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Insufficiency and possibly deep vein thrombosis.
[SPEAKER_02]: Translation, okay?
[SPEAKER_02]: His legs are like, um, nah, we're not gonna help you anymore.
[SPEAKER_02]: Where is that?
[SPEAKER_02]: You're on your own buddy, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, that gets the blood and his legs isn't going back up.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're just, they're quitting on him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Even they are like, we are tired of your bullshit, okay?
[SPEAKER_02]: We've carried you this far and we didn't want to do that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But we had no choice, and now we have a choice.
[SPEAKER_02]: And our choice is fail.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's something that people call out.
[SPEAKER_02]: You didn't even come to the public with this information.
[SPEAKER_02]: People saw him sit and they said, damn, Trump, your cancels are thick.
[SPEAKER_02]: Dem likes be fatty and not in a good way, not in the pH way.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're concerned.
[SPEAKER_02]: His pants were a little too tight.
[SPEAKER_02]: And also his hands were turning gang green.
[SPEAKER_02]: They were looking in the real funky.
[SPEAKER_02]: He was looking like a zombie, bitten or skin.
[SPEAKER_02]: He was looking like he was decomposing.
[SPEAKER_02]: People were like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: That doesn't look right.
[SPEAKER_02]: What's that about?
[SPEAKER_02]: And then that speculation came out that the White House had to say something.
[SPEAKER_02]: And they were like fine.
[SPEAKER_02]: You got us.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's eating one too many makes rib fishes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not looking good for your guy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, my birthday is coming up.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I can't think of a better gift universe.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll leave that there.
[SPEAKER_02]: I just want to get that one out of the way now.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's time for some bane.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, wow, skipping.
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I'm going through a bisexual dilemma.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is like I want to get a little bit
[SPEAKER_02]: a little bit nuanced here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, this is a real problem.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I think because, you know, the athlete has gone his long distance in the country of Ireland right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: That was an Irish accent that was really bad.
[SPEAKER_02]: I need to near that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think when he's here, I feel very satiated.
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel very taken care of, you know, I'm saying if you catch my drift.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then the second he leaves, I'm like, I need to be with a woman.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm craving feminine energy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Women like look more beautiful to me.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're more sparkly and it's not that I don't think that when he's here.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just I'm more aware of my body's calling when he is not around.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think it's all because I've been like doing a lot of work at home lately.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I've been by myself a lot and I've just been like, you know, when I'm a little
[SPEAKER_02]: when I got to take care of business and my brain goes to places of like women are beautiful.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like their faces, their jaw structures.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just going through that dilemma of like dang.
[SPEAKER_02]: What is like wrong with me that I...
[SPEAKER_02]: that I am so like I'm so digestive of the spectrum like I think all humans can be beautiful but I just sometimes I'm like what's wrong with me that I feel so strongly one way or the other like people always like bisexual isn't like one day you're this and one day I'm like sometimes I'm like oh yeah no right I am
[SPEAKER_02]: Definitely in my feminine women, uh, pussy face right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, that's a, I feel like I've been, I've been so in that that I've taken men out of the dating apps completely.
[SPEAKER_02]: For everyone knows that my boyfriend and I are open.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and I feel like not too long ago, I was in a phase of like, I just wanted masculine energy and then now I'm like, get off my screen.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if a man pops up for something, and I'm like, ah, just grab her.
[SPEAKER_02]: What are you doing here?
[SPEAKER_02]: Get the fuck outta here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, anyway, that's where I'm at emotionally.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hopefully, though, I'm hoping to give some good news about the athletes career and hopefully I get to go visit him soon and go to the play of the board because
[SPEAKER_02]: It's really cool when your partner is like achieving his dreams.
[SPEAKER_02]: And like he was already achieving his dreams, then he got injured and so to see all the work, you know, I met him when he was quote at his lowest quote.
[SPEAKER_02]: He was injured and to see all the hard hard work and sweat and blood and tears that have come out of this man and to like, I got to just see some like preseason footage of him playing and I'm just like,
[SPEAKER_02]: parsing at the seams, because I know what that feeling.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, oh, I got this.
[SPEAKER_02]: He was so good.
[SPEAKER_02]: This was a nice, like, share this with a person.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so good.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so proud of him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, anyway, besides that, um, also be alert.
[SPEAKER_02]: We got the new merch dropping with the collaboration with, um, Freddy Tyler Paul.
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, don't talk to me until I've heard my likes for a lace-nice coffee.
[SPEAKER_02]: Shirts and sweatshirts should be dropping.
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to say this week.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna say they're dropping this week.
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been playing around in Canva making like the advertising assets for it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just can't fucking settle on a direction.
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I'm the one holding up all of the launch of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just like who cares?
[SPEAKER_02]: Make a hundred.
[SPEAKER_02]: Who can no one cares if they all are the same hex colors and have the same little graphics on them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like just make stuff that you think looks pretty and people will enjoy it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Or at least that's what I hope.
[SPEAKER_02]: Tee-hee-hee.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, also, you know what we haven't done in a while?
[SPEAKER_02]: Tee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-
[SPEAKER_02]: until this very moment.
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been seeing a trend on TikToks.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if it doesn't really tell me anything, but it's a trend where people breathe out.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is so stupid that I'm doing this.
[SPEAKER_02]: But cut to be in bed like watching these TikToks and be like, I've saved in this for the podcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't wait to do this with my coffee and odds.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're feeling funny, you could join with me in doing this, but I've been seeing these TikToks where people breathe all of the air out of their lungs and then they try to scream as loud as they get.
[SPEAKER_02]: And there was ultimate, so freaking funny.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I got a pretty deep diaphragm.
[SPEAKER_02]: in the non-sexual way and just the regular chess capacity.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I was a singer, okay?
[SPEAKER_02]: Everyone knows about the chest and the diaphragm breath.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like there's one breath that goes like, and then you can see my hand raise and then the other breath comes from the tum tum.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the same thing as breath work.
[SPEAKER_02]: So like, breath out the tum tum and then breath
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'd like to now finally do my little scream breath trend that I've been seeing on TikTok with you now just to see how it sounds.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm going to try not to really then too deep.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to try and just expel all the air out of my lungs.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: So here we go.
[SPEAKER_01]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I've got it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like it was like, ugh.
[SPEAKER_02]: You kind of sound like, I mean, when I sleep scream, when I'm like, ugh, ugh.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God, maybe that's what sleep screaming is.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's trying to scream without being able to take a deep breath in.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh god, you know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: That was worth the fucking weight confidence.
[SPEAKER_02]: That was worth the fucking weight.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh man.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, sorry.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me make sure together.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I even have another fun one.
[SPEAKER_02]: I've another fun TikTok.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't have y'all been watching this new show on Netflix called
[SPEAKER_02]: building the band.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's obviously a making the band knock off, but there's a twist where the band members actually choose each other.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like love is blind.
[SPEAKER_02]: Me's building the band.
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's a bunch of amazing incredible.
[SPEAKER_02]: Me's singers in these little boxes by themselves.
[SPEAKER_02]: They do blind auditions.
[SPEAKER_02]: Everyone else gets to hear their audition.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then if you want to like match with someone you press a button and then you guys get to build your own band.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was really cool and very
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like interesting and I really like it a lot and they're credible singers and it's kind of like an interesting psychology experiment to me too as someone who's like an unscripted filmmaker.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love to see how like people act.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the human condition is very fascinating to your girl.
[SPEAKER_02]: And one thing I was like floored by was these people never have met.
[SPEAKER_02]: They've never sang with each other and they could harmonize
[SPEAKER_02]: walking perfectly.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, bitch, I used to be able to do that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I learned it when I was so young and I was like, inquire and chorus at school that I don't really think I knew how.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I just had an ear for it back then.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I tried to fucking harmonize these days.
[SPEAKER_02]: Bitch, do you know how hard that is?
[SPEAKER_02]: And I thought it was just something you knew you had or you didn't have.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I thought I could just jump right back into doing it.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's very much a skill.
[SPEAKER_02]: Harmonizing is very much a skill.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I went down a deep TikTok taught me through thread and I learned about harmonizing is essentially going down two to three steps from the note that is being sung or two to three steps up.
[SPEAKER_02]: singing the song as it's supposed to be sung and then you sing the melody from that note regular but what's really hard is to stay singing the song on that pitch on that note
[SPEAKER_02]: without dropping back into the regular melody and I have been trying to practice it all week like the one I've been doing is like pink pony cloth because they say like take a song you know really well so you can practice this or go pink right like that's the starting note pink pony cloth so we're going pink
[SPEAKER_02]: Pink pony club.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna keep on dancing at the peak.
[SPEAKER_02]: Obviously it sounds what I fucking better than that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's been fascinating to try and hear songs just like what I'm driving in the car and then pitch up two or three notes or pitch down two or three notes and try and build that skill back up.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, has anyone ever gone or tried to go back into vocal lessons and singing since they had quit since childhood?
[SPEAKER_02]: Because that shit is hard, bro.
[SPEAKER_02]: If anyone has any tips, I know I got some musical theater, really.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know I got some singers in here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, give me some tips about harmonizing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Is that why people also close one of their ears when they're listening to people saying, I don't know, I got to practice more.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is what happens when I live alone for too long.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, another thing that was kind of crazy housekeeping that happened a couple days ago that I am going to post about on TikTok, but I haven't.
[SPEAKER_02]: So you guys are getting a little bit of less than.
[SPEAKER_02]: I moved into this apartment not long ago, a couple months, and I've been redoing it and getting all my things together.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I am getting mail from the former tenants.
[SPEAKER_02]: And piece of mail comes, and I noticed that the name on it is the name of a famous person.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, huh, one of the odds that this is the actual person.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no way.
[SPEAKER_02]: So whatever, I don't think anything of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Another couple of pieces of mail comes for them.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, why are the odds?
[SPEAKER_02]: It's gotta be.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I was confirmed that it was that person because I started getting fan mail, like handwritten fan mail.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it would like have things on the outside.
[SPEAKER_02]: That was like, I don't know what I'm fan, that I was like, oh my god, this totally is that fucking person.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I go to Instagram and I DM this person.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, hi, fat chance you'll see this, but I think I live where you used to live.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm getting your mail, do you want me to forward it somewhere?
[SPEAKER_02]: I've just been like leaving it in the postroom, but do you want like an
[SPEAKER_02]: assistant to come pick it up, what would you like?
[SPEAKER_02]: She messages me back, thoroughly enough.
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, oh, like literally do whatever you want with it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Anything I need, I get to my place.
[SPEAKER_02]: Throw it away if you want.
[SPEAKER_02]: Open it if it's any good PR.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, oh my god, the gods are looking at them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Or you can versus hurt me and they care.
[SPEAKER_02]: So what happens is mostly it's just like junk mail or like fans stuff, which I don't know, because I think I don't want to do that.
[SPEAKER_02]: but I get a box the other day wrapped around one of my doorstep being long and I know it's a dress to her and it's a big box it's also international it's come from Canada and I'm like okay Canada big PR box it must be because like look at the packaging and it's all nice and
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, you know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: She told me I could open it.
[SPEAKER_02]: If there was anything, get up and open it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope I'm not like admitting to a felony on air, whatever, come from your bitch.
[SPEAKER_02]: I open the box.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like weirdly packaged.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like a big box for not that much stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: And first thing I see is a bouquet of chocolate roses that have been half eaten and like opened.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, okay, I don't think this is a PR box.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think this is someone like sent these roses.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then there's a little box in it and I opened the box and there's these sunglasses in there and the sunglasses are kind of like crazy and I feel like maybe they were something that the person thought that the famous girl would have worn maybe she'd worn in the past.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, but I was like, I shouldn't be touching these.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're sunglasses.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're pretty cute, but I'm not going to put those on my face.
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, there could be anthrax on this thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: I noticed a handwritten letter.
[SPEAKER_02]: And in the letter, it talks about how much this person loves this person, how they want the famous girl to have their babies.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a lot of talk about, I want you to be with me or my future wife.
[SPEAKER_02]: I want you to have my children.
[SPEAKER_02]: It'll be a good tax right off, which there's a point.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I don't think he was getting across what he was trying to get across actively.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then the thing that scared me and freaked me out the most was there was a video game inside the package that the front cover is a man like in a sweatshirt hoodie with a giant bloody canace and wording a woman.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I even tried to look it up and I couldn't find this video game out anywhere.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I've since thrown it away obviously because it freaked me the fuck out.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I didn't think like should I have like put it in my computer and seen what it was on there because it didn't look like a real video.
[SPEAKER_02]: It did, but it didn't.
[SPEAKER_02]: It looked like a real Jankass ghetto version of someone's like graphic design school.
[SPEAKER_02]: But like the imagery on the case was very violent.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I didn't like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, like that, especially because the girl looked like the famous person on the cover.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was just like, what's wrong with men?
[SPEAKER_02]: Why would he think that was a good idea to send her on the front?
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like, I am, uh, what did it say?
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I forget.
[SPEAKER_02]: It says something weird on the front.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then in the middle, it was like, you're my wife that it just why
[SPEAKER_02]: And now I'm like, do I need to move?
[SPEAKER_02]: My boyfriend was like, you know, my sister was like, you should send a letter back to that man and be like, uh, she doesn't live here anymore.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is who lives here now and just send a picture of like a giant buff scary dude.
[SPEAKER_02]: Which I don't know.
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe I should like, hey, don't get any ideas.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no one here that you want to talk to or fuck hopefully.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, so what do you guys think?
[SPEAKER_02]: Should I, A, DM the celebrity and tell her?
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like that's not helpful and probably would just be like stressful for her.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and do I need to move?
[SPEAKER_02]: All these questions and more when we come back from the break, uh, when we come back from the break, speaking of questions, did you know that you are not supposed to push during childbirth?
[SPEAKER_02]: I know we're taking a laughter and y'all will be RV.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right, you may not have thought that this week's episode was gonna be all about things.
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't tell you about childbirth, but alas.
[SPEAKER_02]: This podcast is evergreen, baby.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, it is complex.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is fabric.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is full, okay?
[SPEAKER_02]: And we can jump all over for topics, okay?
[SPEAKER_02]: And so now we've gone fully to childbirth.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_02]: I have been trashing on children lately.
[SPEAKER_02]: What else is new?
[SPEAKER_02]: I talked about how stressful it was to go visit my best friend with her two kids.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was talking to another friend that I don't think should be having kids and she was like talking about having kids and I was like, I don't know what I was saying.
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like maybe this would be hard to do solo.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was on my friends podcast where she was talking about getting ready to have kids and I was talking about how stressed out because I felt bad because I feel like I was talking a lot of shit about kids in my
[SPEAKER_02]: sphere.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, you know what?
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I need to educate myself a little bit.
[SPEAKER_02]: I got a lot of pregnant friends right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: I got two that were going to pop any minute now.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm literally like waiting for the text.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I feel like I'm not educated enough on the experience of becoming a mother on birthing a baby, if you will.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I got, I'm not gonna lie.
[SPEAKER_02]: I got down to a deep rabbit hole.
[SPEAKER_02]: We got into a deep rabbit hole about the wild downright WTF and viral because a lot of these are coming from the internet as well from Mother's experiences.
[SPEAKER_02]: Facts about birth, okay?
[SPEAKER_02]: So with a little from TikTok and some dualas and some labor delivery nurses, I've got some facts that I will expose about things you maybe didn't know about birth.
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you have given birth to a child, drama comment below, let me know if you've heard of these already, or if any of these are actually new to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I have some friends, like as I do our pregnant that are taking birth in classes, and they come back with a new crazy fact every week, and I'm like, what?
[SPEAKER_02]: And they didn't know what either, and I'm like, you're about to pop one of them things out.
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like you should know these things, but no, unless the body is a magical crazy complex Rubik's Cube of Miracles.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so the main fact that got me down this rabbit hole was my friend was talking about hypnober thing, which is not really about pushing.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so she said, did you know you're not supposed to like push during childhood?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like natural childbirth would happen.
[SPEAKER_02]: Contractions would push the baby out and in an ideal birth, Adula talks about a baby would literally eject itself out of your body, like a little slippery to repeat out, okay?
[SPEAKER_02]: And we just actually, yes, I'm moving myself into this as a woman who could, if she wanted to, we are just supposed to breathe and not interfere with the body doing the contractions.
[SPEAKER_02]: So many women tighten and scream and like freak out and it's actually putting more toughness on the muscles, be able to relax them, just relax them and let the contractions push the baby out.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, oh my god, that's why the whole breathing, like, if you're gonna breathe, or if you're gonna push, it's supposed to be breathing out at the same time.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, blah, so this hypnobur thing thing is all about not necessarily learning those push bear down techniques, but it's teaching you how to withstand the pain of contractions to be able to let the body does, what it's naturally supposed to be able to do.
[SPEAKER_02]: and have no burden is really more focused on getting through the pain rather than like making something happen.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was looking up obviously, have no burden on TikTok and it looked really peaceful.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like whether women got epidurals and I think with epidurals, you kind of might need to help push the contractions along because you can't necessarily feel everything, but you can feel pressure.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so you push in kind of helps it go along.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, what the fuck?
[SPEAKER_02]: Why are we taught that we're supposed to do this like pushing bear down breathing thing?
[SPEAKER_02]: And guess what?
[SPEAKER_02]: Believe it or not, it's got to be the medical industrial complex.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hospitals wanted us to be having babies faster, so that they could cycle us through sooner, so that they could charge us more money.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_02]: All of these things.
[SPEAKER_02]: that pitocin, the epidurals, all of those things were created, they say, to make women more comfortable during birth.
[SPEAKER_02]: But really, they just don't want us to be able to do it naturally.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's something like real big conspiracy theory.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's not their falsest theory.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a system that has created
[SPEAKER_02]: that the turnover rate is more important than you know the woo woo natural version of what I guess the body could do and you know women want to be at a hospital okay something goes wrong when they're doing birth and how could they capitalize on that they're going to make it have to go faster they got to do ten of these a day okay got to get you in got to get you out so we've just been like in stir-ups red faced in like every single movie screaming for the theatrics I think
[SPEAKER_02]: Plus, there's a lot of damage that can happen with coached pushing and coached breathing, pushing, like vaginal tearing, pelvic floor issues, etc.
[SPEAKER_02]: So just something to think about, moving along to the next one.
[SPEAKER_02]: The shakes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Nobody tells you about birth.
[SPEAKER_02]: All about the shakes you can get right towards the end, the build up of birth and afterwards.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was watching videos of women chattering their teeth, teeth shattering chattering.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then here's the kicker.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're probably not cold.
[SPEAKER_02]: Nope.
[SPEAKER_02]: There are teeth shattering's happening because there's a massive
[SPEAKER_02]: shift in hormones and fluid shifts.
[SPEAKER_02]: And your body is also pumping a fuck ton of adrenaline.
[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes that comes out through teeth chattering.
[SPEAKER_02]: And some nurses found that skin to skin with your baby will sometimes help.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it probably grounds you bring you back into the present, et cetera, et cetera.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, here's the fun one.
[SPEAKER_02]: Didn't know this was a fucking thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you all know the origin of the word or like the saying, the pregnant pause?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like she took a pregnant pause.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, do you know where that comes from?
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: So some women after birth, they don't like bond with the baby.
[SPEAKER_02]: They can't even look at the baby.
[SPEAKER_02]: They, you know, they do that thing where they like put the baby right on your chest afterwards.
[SPEAKER_02]: And some women are like, I can't like, please take it away.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I can't get it off me.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's not that she's not connected with the baby or that she doesn't love the baby.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's that sometimes a woman right after giving birth, her body has just lost so much
[SPEAKER_02]: blood, hormone shifts, there is so much happening trauma-wise to the body that your brain can't override this instinct where once the body has pushed the baby out, it goes, I literally need to hit my reset button.
[SPEAKER_02]: And they kind of go like a little bit like catatonic, disassociate out of their body where they're like, yeah, no, I can't look at the baby.
[SPEAKER_02]: I just need a second to like gather myself.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is a pregnant pause.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is literally the woman's body hitting the restart the on-off, blow on it, plug it back in.
[SPEAKER_02]: Your body is in that moment, taking the time to say,
[SPEAKER_02]: I know that my life will never be the same again.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to physically chemically change from this moment forward as a mother and that is the fucking pregnant pause.
[SPEAKER_02]: Is that crazy?
[SPEAKER_02]: I heard that shit.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, wow.
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't teach you that shit school, especially not in Florida public school.
[SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, ah, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
[SPEAKER_02]: You are literally able to grow a disposable organ that keeps your baby alive, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, so you're basically creating this entire life support system from scratch.
[SPEAKER_02]: Anybody know big deal, whatever, whatever.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you're also having to birth the pleasant to do, which people don't talk about that is after the baby is out.
[SPEAKER_02]: You will still have contractions because your body needs to birth the pleasant to which is usually this either a dinner plate.
[SPEAKER_02]: And in fact, a lot of cultures and even now just people, women in general are eating it, they're getting it powdered and capsulize so that they can keep the nutrients out of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Some hospital started away.
[SPEAKER_02]: And some people bury it.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's like a cultural thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: I would totally eat mine.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just going to put that on the right right there.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that's baller, so I'm not going to let that shit go to waste.
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom told me to eat all of my food.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, just how much good shit is in a placenta crazy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm losing to have this on DNA.
[SPEAKER_02]: What the fuck?
[SPEAKER_02]: So if there are cells left over from the present to still in your body, that can alter your body's DNA because you will literally absorb that and it can change your DNA.
[SPEAKER_02]: We are just walking around, like, in this shit is happening every single day, and we're not talking about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is fucking manners, okay?
[SPEAKER_02]: People look at birth.
[SPEAKER_02]: Superheroes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fucking crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, oh, here's another fun one.
[SPEAKER_02]: The uterus.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: She grows up to five hundred times.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's original size during pregnancy.
[SPEAKER_02]: So pre pregnancy, your uterus is about the shape and size of a pair.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, but by the third trimester, it stretches to the size of a little watermelon or larger.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it can weigh from when you're not pregnant.
[SPEAKER_02]: Two ounces to two point five pounds.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Two ounces to two pounds to point five pounds.
[SPEAKER_02]: It stretches from being hidden deep inside of your pelvis to sitting underneath their ribs.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I literally thought I understood what happens during the miracle of life.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know shit.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know dick shit.
[SPEAKER_02]: And this is fascinating stuff to me.
[SPEAKER_02]: The body is crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like this bitch grows five hundred times its size and then also just has the nerve to shrink back.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it was nothing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fun fact, too, some pussy's also don't drink back after, vaginally.
[SPEAKER_02]: And another labor and delivery nurse said that with all the pushing, especially if your labor's extended for what can be up to seventy two hours on average, that labor can be is, each labor will get about three finger sized each labor.
[SPEAKER_02]: So on each size, it can get puffed out that big.
[SPEAKER_02]: So
[SPEAKER_02]: Is this episode birth control or are you are you guys like fascinated because I'm feeling fifty fifty.
[SPEAKER_02]: I am part four or five parts mesmerized by all of this.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, this was probably the coolest information I learned doing all my research.
[SPEAKER_02]: When you breastfeed your nips.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it is literally taking in.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is absorbing your baby saliva.
[SPEAKER_02]: understanding what pathogens your baby has and also noting if your baby has any viruses or illness or sicknesses that they might not even be showing symptoms of and your breast milk goes okay we got that information we got to take that back up to the body and brain we are now going to produce breast milk within hours that has those antibodies to help make your baby healthy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you kidding?
[SPEAKER_02]: What?
[SPEAKER_02]: Why does no one fucking tell us this?
[SPEAKER_02]: That is in sane information within hours.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like making medicine.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so also this, I don't know if it's the word is game popularity, but like this was shown on social media during the COVID-nineteen pandemic where women's breast milk was turning crazy colors and doing wild things because it was the first time that like breast milk was making that antibody to protect the babies against COVID.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like what?
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know that I would want to be a doctor but stuff like this really truly makes me like think about the miracle that it's just us walking and talking and moving around in these giant skin suits.
[SPEAKER_02]: the body's kugunanas.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you are also breastfeeding after birth, this happens to a lot of women most women, but not everybody, but it does happen to the most that you will not get a period until you stop breastfeeding.
[SPEAKER_02]: So you will bleed after birth.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is very normal, but you won't have an actual period until you stop breastfeeding.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ah, fascinating.
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, rounding out all of these freakishly cool facts.
[SPEAKER_02]: We got a couple more.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, did you know that humans are the only mammals animals whose babies can't walk immediately to soon after birth.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now that I put it that way, what the fuck is going on with that?
[SPEAKER_02]: Even a giraffe is like, but a baby, that should take years.
[SPEAKER_02]: What's going on with that?
[SPEAKER_02]: I was seeing online something and it says something to you about the pelvis and the shape and the size is not big enough to just state a baby long enough so that it can learn to art.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, but I just thought that was any interesting.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's end our last fact about birth childbirth on something that will set you free, but it'll also piss you off.
[SPEAKER_02]: We give birth in our backs because of a man.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_02]: You heard me.
[SPEAKER_02]: We didn't start doing birth on our backs until King Louis XIII.
[SPEAKER_02]: This slutty man horror was having twenty two children with multiple matrices and this little pair of was pissed that he couldn't watch the miracle that is childbirth like Jesus what else do you need?
[SPEAKER_02]: And so he started making the women lie on their backs so he could be there to see it all and like I get trying to be a supportive partner but this just feels like gross and manipulative because it wasn't for the woman it was for him.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no proof that being on your back is any better than a standing or squatting position or doing what feels right to your body.
[SPEAKER_02]: Often your body is like trying to tell you the position it wants to be in which is why like a lot of women want to move around.
[SPEAKER_02]: They want to be out of the ball.
[SPEAKER_02]: Water bursts are a big thing now because of that you can move around easier.
[SPEAKER_02]: It takes the gravity off of your belly, et cetera, et cetera.
[SPEAKER_02]: So this motherfucker was like laying your back so I can watch.
[SPEAKER_02]: And suddenly, because he was royalty, all the other people were like, this is what King Louis does.
[SPEAKER_02]: We should be doing this.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's really cool in the king.
[SPEAKER_02]: So like, let's do it.
[SPEAKER_02]: And word got around and bitches started burning on their backs because of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, pissed in the words of Liz from survivor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and therefore, if I ever
[SPEAKER_02]: fall and hit my head and decide to have a baby, I will purposely out of spite just to show it to the man, not be burning on my back.
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, wasn't that fun?
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like that episode was kind of crazy, it was all over the place, but I learned a lot.
[SPEAKER_02]: I learned a lot.
[SPEAKER_02]: We covered a lot.
[SPEAKER_02]: I miss you, coffee don't write to me on con pod on Instagram.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll be doing a giveaway.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll also be doing a collaboration release this week.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're doing a giveaway coming up.
[SPEAKER_02]: You also know it's almost my birthday season.
[SPEAKER_02]: Leo season right around the corner.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I love to give shit away on my birthday.
[SPEAKER_02]: I got a lot of good PR recently, so go check that out.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, if you're not falling in there, what the fuck are you doing here, Boo?
[SPEAKER_02]: What are you doing?
[SPEAKER_02]: We have to get these numbers up, kids.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, leave us a review.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, it helps your girl.
[SPEAKER_02]: I saw we had like one point seven K reviews and also two thing we get that up to two.
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you think?
[SPEAKER_02]: How about this?
[SPEAKER_02]: If you leave a review, screenshot it, send it to me in the DMs.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you'll be entered for the giveaway.
[SPEAKER_02]: A special reviews only giveaway.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's right.
[SPEAKER_02]: You heard it here first.
[SPEAKER_02]: And last, we'll see you next week.
[SPEAKER_02]: Comfy dance.
[SPEAKER_00]: Bye!