[SPEAKER_01]: You're listening to a four-the-girl's podcast, Flashback Friday episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: Every Friday, I re-share an older episode for new listeners who haven't heard it, or as a refresher for OG listeners, who might need to hear it again as a reminder.
[SPEAKER_01]: Enjoy, and I'll see you with a new episode on Monday.
[SPEAKER_00]: Settling is not an option.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything I desire is already mine.
[SPEAKER_00]: What if you can have it all?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because every day is for the girls.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, hello.
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back to another episode of For The Girls.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host Victoria Alario.
[SPEAKER_01]: And today we're talking about romanticizing your relationship.
[SPEAKER_01]: romanticizing those nights in.
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't only have to be a big night out where you're getting dressed and you know, go somewhere and spending a ton of money in order to have a date night.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can have date night in and I feel like that's become kind of my responsibility in our relationship and roles.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it's a very rare occasion that I take my man out.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's pretty safe to say that there's only a few times that I actually handled like the date night out and it was on his birthday, of course, obviously.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when we had our one year from our first date, that was also my plan.
[SPEAKER_01]: Otherwise, I really never, that's just not my area.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's the really big planner, which we love.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's the one who takes care of those things, even financially, again, which we love.
[SPEAKER_01]: But when it comes to date nights in, that's like my time to shine.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's on me.
[SPEAKER_01]: And of course, I take care of it financially.
[SPEAKER_01]: I pay for all the things that, you know, I supply or the grocery is whatever that might be.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like that's something that gets really overlooked when it comes to dating and relationships.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel a lot of relationships lack
[SPEAKER_01]: a special date night in.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like a lot of relationships lack in activity for a date night in.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, don't get me wrong.
[SPEAKER_01]: We also love a very simple night with just throwing the TV on.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'll just make a regular dinner.
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll watch a movie or, you know, watch a show.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's perfectly fine too, or we'll even sometimes just order in.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's mostly for the weekends.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, after I've cooked all week, I'm like, all right, I'm cooked out.
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll order some sushi or whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we'll just sit and chill.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes you just really want a low energy, simple night that requires really nothing, much for me, the review.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then on the other end, I personally feel like I don't want to do too much of that, especially on a weekend because that's kind of like what you just did all week.
[SPEAKER_01]: So now when it comes to the weekend,
[SPEAKER_01]: most of the time you want to have a little bit more fun and that doesn't always mean by having fun that you have to go out and spend two hours, you know, every time doing your hair, doing your makeup, spending hundreds of dollars, you know, going to dinner like sometimes you want to do something.
[SPEAKER_01]: but not go all out.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: So I feel like this is where this conversation comes into play and it's really just spicing up that date night in, really romanticizing your weekends at home.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I won't girls to listen to this even if they're single.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care whether or not you have a boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think this is a good episode and just some good insight for girls to hear to even prepare, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: I think preparation for a relationship is really important.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I feel like for me, there were definitely times when I was starting this process of getting into this relationship or what not.
[SPEAKER_01]: And feeling almost like, what the hell do I do with a boyfriend?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do I walk it?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do I have to wipe its paws when it gets inside the house?
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wait, no, that's a dog, sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you do with a boyfriend?
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to make sure that I
[SPEAKER_01]: do my role, you know, accordingly.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to make sure that I'm living up to his standards as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like I have high standards as a woman for what I want in a man, but my boyfriend also had high standards for what he wants in a woman.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I want to make sure that I fulfill his needs, you know, that I meet his standards and whatnot.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that required a lot of like conversation, you know, a lot of just even the most simple conversations of or questions of
[SPEAKER_01]: what are the top three things that you're really looking for in a partner and a woman like really asking as many questions as possible.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would say
[SPEAKER_01]: helps you a lot in those early stages to know what this person's going to expect from a partner or expect from you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that right there actually just reminded me, this is something that we did on a date night in one night as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: This wasn't even part of the list of things that I had written down, but now as I'm talking about, I'm like, wait, that needs to be added to the list because that is something that we did in the early stages when he came over my apartment.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had those card games from where not really strangers.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have like three decks of those cards.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's like the dating pack or the relationship pack, whatever it's called.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had the honest expansion pack, a few with them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I think, I think like the original card, like, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: There was a few of those.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we asked each other those questions one night.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll never forget like there were a few questions that I'm like oh my god you need to reflect on this like that is so you blah blah blah and I made him take those cards home and reflect on it but I think that's a really good date night in not only for new couples but even couples that have been together for quite a while because there are definitely some really deep questions on there even something like
[SPEAKER_01]: What's something that I'm lacking or what's something that you need more of from me and these are questions that maybe in the first few stages you don't really like the first few weeks or months you can't really answer because you're just getting to know each other but you never know six months nine months a year two years down the line someone could feel like they need something more from their partner and you really wouldn't
[SPEAKER_01]: No, unless you outright ask.
[SPEAKER_01]: And by the way, I'm going to link everything I talk about in this episode on my Amazon storefront.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just made a new like list, a new little category there called date night in.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will link that into the show notes and I'll probably also link it to my TikTok bio.
[SPEAKER_01]: so that e-girls can have easy access to it, but everything I mentioned from these dating card packs to everything else that comes up, I'm gonna try to have all of it linked here for e-girls.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I wanna go back to what I mentioned about preparing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is something that I learned a few years ago.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to say maybe twenty twenty it was.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I was still living in Tampa at the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: It might have even been twenty nineteen honestly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Could be longer gold than I am recalling.
[SPEAKER_01]: However, it just goes to show how big.
[SPEAKER_01]: This was that I still remember it and recall it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was doing a call with Janet Namaste.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you girls don't know who she is, she's an intuitive coach.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why is my voice going out right now?
[SPEAKER_01]: Hold on.
[SPEAKER_01]: So sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's an intuitive coach.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's a healer.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have worked with her for so many years since twenty eighteen.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've had her on four of the girls three times now.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you want to get a just of who Janet is, you can literally just
[SPEAKER_01]: go to four of the girls and search Janet and I'm staying in it and I think literally three episodes will probably come up.
[SPEAKER_01]: And anyway, when we were on a call, we happened to be talking about
[SPEAKER_01]: relationships and feeling that lack, you know, that lack of a partner, because I was single at the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: I might have just been seeing a few people, but nothing like two serious.
[SPEAKER_01]: No one that I felt like was my person.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that lack was really hitting me.
[SPEAKER_01]: And one thing she sets me was,
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you have like your house set up like your refrigerator your ninth stands your closets and I was showing her like I had a damn near empty fridge if I'm being honest with you I
[SPEAKER_01]: didn't have two nightstands.
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't have nightstands at all actually.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had like a table on one side of my bed with just like a lamp on it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then on the other side of my bed was a little like trunk almost.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a trunk that had my hoodies and sweatshirts in it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And in my closets, of course, they were like fully packed out, no room for anything else.
[SPEAKER_01]: When she was like this right here,
[SPEAKER_01]: is a really big energetic problem that you're not seeing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your house is not prepared for a partner.
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to have your house ready as if somebody were to
[SPEAKER_01]: come here today, somebody where to start moving in, you know, and living with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're feeling the lack because there's no room for a partner because you're not making space for a partner.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you could feel a lot more abundant if you make the space, meaning your refrigerator should be full of food.
[SPEAKER_01]: You should have a fridge that could feed two people, even if that might sound unrealistic, like financially.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just an energetic thing of like,
[SPEAKER_01]: you're not looking in the fridge and seeing it so empty and so just like making you feel almost lonely like oh god there's just nothing on this fridge have enough food that if you know a man came over today you could easily host him you know you could serve him and say oh can I get you anything what do you want and whatever he asked for you would have right there you know it's not like a guy would come in and you'd be like actually I have no produce I have no food in the fridge but I just have
[SPEAKER_01]: a frozen chicken nugget like it in the freezer you know like you just you want to be able to feed the two of you
[SPEAKER_01]: in the sense.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I imagine that you're hosting him for dinner.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like from then, I always had a full fridge.
[SPEAKER_01]: And even if I was always single, it still felt so much better because I felt more confident when I even had friends come over because there's a difference of having a friend over and you have nothing to offer them versus a friend coming over and being like, are you hungry?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you want anything?
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you thirsty?
[SPEAKER_01]: I have all different options of drinks.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like at that time, I didn't even have an iced tea.
[SPEAKER_01]: It would just be like,
[SPEAKER_01]: my one refillable bottle in the fridge at all times and I just kept putting water back into and that's kind of depressing, you know, it just makes you see physically and visually how lonely you really are.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then when you start to have friends come over and you actually have things that you can feed them or you know, serve them to drink or whatnot, you just you just feel more confident doing so you feel like a better host.
[SPEAKER_01]: The night standing,
[SPEAKER_01]: really threw me for a loop and I'll be honest like it kind of gives me the chills even reflecting on it thinking about because
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't have the two nine stands for a while, just because I wasn't in the, you know, I wasn't on the search for new furniture at that point.
[SPEAKER_01]: So for quite a while, I still had that like table and trunk situation on the sides of my bed with no nightstand at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then when I moved to Hoboken, I felt like Hoboken was going to be my place.
[SPEAKER_01]: I felt like I'm going to be closer to home now.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's gonna feel more wholesome, more homie, more comfortable.
[SPEAKER_01]: I felt like I'm Florida, like my Tampa and Miami apartments.
[SPEAKER_01]: Those were like my bachelor rep pads.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, not that I didn't want a partner because I did, but I almost just knew my partner wasn't going to be there.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that was like my really single girl apartments.
[SPEAKER_01]: Very girly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like a man would not have wanted to live in those places.
[SPEAKER_01]: And even though my apartment, even though my style, I should say, is very feminine.
[SPEAKER_01]: I also feel like once I moved to Hoboken it did become a little bit more gender neutral.
[SPEAKER_01]: There weren't like like I had legit like girl boss things around my apartment.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: I had like pink pillows.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had those like tacky little like picture frame things that said like
[SPEAKER_01]: Hustle hard or something like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was just like that was my place where I was really building up my businesses.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then when I moved to Hoboken, yes, I do have a more feminine eye.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I added a lot more darker colors in my furniture.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like black.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I still love white everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that's definitely my
[SPEAKER_01]: favorite like look I do love a clean look but I feel like prior my apartment almost had like hospital vibes because they were like so so so so so so white so I started to incorporate more masculine and dark colors that the energy kind of shifted and it felt a lot more homey and with that being said when I moved to Hoboken
[SPEAKER_01]: I bought nightstands and I bought black nightstands like gender, neutral, two nightstands like on either side of the bed with drawers.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so of course I filled up the drawers on my side and then on the other side, I kind of just had some jewelry in there, my sunglasses, like little accessories I just had in there on the opposite side of the bed for me and they were not full.
[SPEAKER_01]: But visually, it made it look more like
[SPEAKER_01]: Two people live here or at least let two people could live here because each person on, you know, each side of the bed.
[SPEAKER_01]: has their own space for their belongings.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that energy shift I feel like really brings you that, you know, so much more abundance.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now you see the abundance, you feel the abundance.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then that translates through your energy in the way you carry yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I met my boyfriend and now that nightstand on his side of the bed is filled with his stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: He has like a bunch of clothes in there.
[SPEAKER_01]: He does not live with me, so he doesn't have like all of his belongings of course, but more of the story is I only had a few things in that nightstand some accessories that was a really easy, you know, shift a really easy maneuver and he sleeps here a lot and you know, he has clothes here now.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's all on his side of the bed in his nightstand and
[SPEAKER_01]: When I first, you know, offered that little space to him.
[SPEAKER_01]: It made me think about what Jenna had told me years ago, I'm like, oh my God.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the whole nightstand thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: This whole theory is so true.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will say the closet thing hasn't exactly
[SPEAKER_01]: Worked out yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have not gotten there.
[SPEAKER_01]: We do not live together like I said.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it is what it is with the closet.
[SPEAKER_01]: I barely have room for my own stuff and let me tell you girl something.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think my boyfriend is worse than me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I could tell you for a fact that my boyfriend has triple if not quadruple the amount of shoes that I have.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have one closet of shoes and it's like all my shoes.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like boots.
[SPEAKER_01]: Flick Flops sneakers like everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: He has like a closet per type of shoe like his spring shoes on her shoes as well as shoes went to shoes like he has so many shoes he has so many clothes so we both
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't have the space for each other's clothes, so we will have to cross that bedroom, get to it.
[SPEAKER_01]: When we look together, when that day comes, we will worry about the closets, but until then, I'm keeping my closets to myself, but we've really improved on the whole refrigerated thing and the nightstand thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: and it's just it really makes such a difference when it comes to your energy especially the refrigerator thing too because now I'm always cooking for him I'm always making dinner so whenever he comes over there's always something for him for example soda like I don't drink soda I don't drink coke he does but I always have a case of coke
[SPEAKER_01]: Can's you know in the fridge case of coke.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like that's in it really sound good, but I mean Coca-Cola.
[SPEAKER_01]: I always have Coke cans in the fridge for him because I know he's going to want to have a Coke so I'm gonna have it there for him.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you got where I'm going this it just really calls in that energy of your partner when you are prepared
[SPEAKER_01]: even if you're single.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now for me, cooking for him has been like my ultimate love language.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like making all different sorts of dinners, having him try new things, different things, or making what I know specifically like are his absolute favorites.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have fun doing all of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I always like to make a little twist on things, try to do things a little bit differently.
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, sometimes I got to keep things just
[SPEAKER_01]: Stay the same if it's not broke.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't fix it because he likes that he likes, but I just have a lot of fun making different meals for him.
[SPEAKER_01]: But with that said, I also have a lot of fun making something together too.
[SPEAKER_01]: For example, Valentine's Day, we made homemade fresh pasta.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my gosh, we had so much fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you girls saw my TikToks.
[SPEAKER_01]: or my real, but I did share videos and clips from that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was just a really fun experience because it gives us like an activity.
[SPEAKER_01]: It gives us something to do together, yet it's bonding over food, which are both really big foodies.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we love basically nothing more.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's just the perfect combination of making a dinner out of it while also interacting and doing something together.
[SPEAKER_01]: We made it with the kitchen aid.
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, you can use a regular standard
[SPEAKER_01]: just pasta maker where you're like cranking it out you know like the OG style but we already had the kitchen aid so we use that and added the pasta attachments to it and it's so simple the kitchen aid makes it like really really good of course I'm gonna have all of this linked as well to that Amazon shop the Amazon storefront whatever just make sure that if you get it then you get the pasta attachments because that is a separate thing
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm even linking the flower I got because they're specific, double-oh flower to make pasta.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not the same.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just like all purpose flour.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know if you girls saw the TikToks with what I was doing on Valentine's Day, but I basically set up my whole apartment.
[SPEAKER_01]: And let me just say something.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so many reasons why I love to have a very masculine partner.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love the type of man that he is.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that he's a manly man.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that he is the planner and that he gets shit done and takes care of things.
[SPEAKER_01]: But something that I think a lot of girls need to understand if they have not experienced what it's like to really be with a masculine man is
[SPEAKER_01]: How much more of a feminine woman you get to become?
[SPEAKER_01]: You get to really, really, really embrace and embody your feminine energy.
[SPEAKER_01]: You get to be that like ultimate lover girl, that like really girly girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you just, he really allows you the space.
[SPEAKER_01]: to just be.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's almost like it brings out your inner child in a sense.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like the younger version of you where you're just like doing your arts and crafts and just enjoying yourself and not having a care in the world.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's really how I felt on Valentine's Day.
[SPEAKER_01]: I bought
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, all this stuff's gonna be linked because I got everything I got I was on.
[SPEAKER_01]: I bought like an air thing to make balloons like to blow up balloons.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like an air machine.
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course my dumbass did not realize that you needed helium in order to get the balloons to go up in the air.
[SPEAKER_01]: So the balloons were not up in the air, but they were kind of scattered.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know all around the apartment, but I was blowing up the balloon.
[SPEAKER_01]: I did all pink balloons and cute little ones.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had them around the house.
[SPEAKER_01]: I blew up.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love you balloons and I taped them to the wall, which now my wall is missing pieces of paint because as I was taking them down from the wall, I was pulling paint off the wall.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do not advise that you do that.
[SPEAKER_01]: However, it just was so cute and I had like hearts like tassled in these kind of like dangling from my curtain rods had a few of those out.
[SPEAKER_01]: I put rose petals all over the kitchen table.
[SPEAKER_01]: I also actually, instead of having my typical standard table cloth, I bought brown paper roll, which is actually the type of paper that I've used for wrapping Christmas gifts in the past.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just kind of rolled out this paper so that because you're going to make such a mess when it comes to doing the pasta.
[SPEAKER_01]: that really helped as far as like cleaning up so I had that all out and then I put the rose petals all over it and then I had like cute Valentine's Day plates on the table like a heart shaped plate like I we ate our pasta out of heart shaped plates and then other like pink cute plates so I just had everything like all set up and I felt like that little girl just like decorating her room like
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I don't know, I used to be that kind of girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: I used to always decorate my room for holidays and have things hanging from the ceilings and taping things to the wall.
[SPEAKER_01]: My dad used to want to kill me because I would always pull the tape off the wall even then, too.
[SPEAKER_01]: So clearly, something's never changed.
[SPEAKER_01]: But he was just so surprised.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that was my favorite part of it because it doesn't always have to be him, only like surprise in me and him, only making the effort for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I spent two days preparing for this.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I spent a lot of time, a lot of money, a lot of energy getting prepared for this.
[SPEAKER_01]: And trust me when I tell you, I felt very feminine doing it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It does not make you masculine.
[SPEAKER_01]: It does not mean you're acting like the guy like he goes above and beyond for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: He does literally everything for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: But this was my time to really shine as that feminine, creative, lover girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that people have to realize too, like, your partner is your mirror.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you're going to get what you give.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you have to be the partner that you want to receive.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you want to really love a boy who's like making surprises for you and feels really safe in his masculinity to go above and beyond for you, then you want to make sure that you're really being
[SPEAKER_01]: his mirror you're really being that version of a feminine woman so that you both feel really safe going all in on each other I know how it feels to want to do something for someone but feeling embarrassed feeling like it wouldn't be reciprocated feeling like I don't know if this is mutual I don't know for on the same page is this too much like trust me if anybody knows how it feels to be too much it's me I've been called too much and told that I'm too much
[SPEAKER_01]: more times than I could even count or recall.
[SPEAKER_01]: But my point is, is that, like, with him, I never feel like that was to, I would never feel like that was too much.
[SPEAKER_01]: I did not feel like that was too much.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sitting there blowing up balloons, putting, I love you all over.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I did so much, I'd say that if it weren't with him, somebody who's so secure in his masculinity, somebody who's so secure in
[SPEAKER_01]: How much he does for me?
[SPEAKER_01]: Then yeah, maybe I would feel like oh my god.
[SPEAKER_01]: Is this too over the top?
[SPEAKER_01]: But no, I just feel like there's there's the limit does not exist.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no level of like cornyness or whatever that would have like scared him away or been too much like he appreciated it so much and he loved it so much that it made me so happy like to see his face to see him surprise
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing beats when your man takes out his phone and takes a video or a picture of everything you did for him like that's when you're like okay I did my part I did my due diligence because he is so not like a phone man his first thought is never to like take a picture or video so the fact that he like walked in looked at everything and then was taking pictures I'm like
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I did it right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh wait, not to mention the freaking cake.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you girls see the cake that I made?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll link the cakes up to I bought like a cake set for beginners.
[SPEAKER_01]: I made just like simple Betty Crocker cakes because they're just that that's the easiest part, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Making the Betty Crocker cakes.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're just very easy to follow and I made I made one stacked like heart
[SPEAKER_01]: shaped cake but I made a chocolate cake and vanilla cake because I like vanilla he like chocolate so I made those cakes I filled it with that like really white marshmallow tasting kind of icing covered it with that I put a little bit of pink like literally a dot of pink food dye and food coloring whatever
[SPEAKER_01]: in the icing so I can make the cake pink and then I covered it all with pearls and sprinkles.
[SPEAKER_01]: You got to look at the TikTok so I posted a few of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: I also made homemade cocktails and I bought a kit from Amazon of just like, you know, the shaker, the stir, all the things that you need to make a cocktail.
[SPEAKER_01]: and he loves a dirty martini, I love an espresso martini so I made that for myself and for him he likes kettle one vodka so if you're gonna make this you know for your man this is what I recommend to make kettle one vodka and then drive removed and then I use the olive brine from Emma's olives so Emma's olives it's an olive company where they legit sell the olive brine in itself like you don't have to just use like the olive juice from
[SPEAKER_01]: the jar of olives, you could legit just buy the olive brine.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he actually really liked it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I used that same brand, their Casal vitrano, the green olives as well, because with that Amazon set I'm talking about has that little like metal to picnic where you could like sit the olives on.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it was just like the perfect little dirty martini.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that set is perfect for another date night in where you could even just have like a cocktail making night.
[SPEAKER_01]: You might want to buy two of those so you can make two cocktails at the same time.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so you can make one, you can make one, especially if you guys like different things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like for me, I had to keep cleaning it out because I would go for making the espresso martini to the dirty martini and they are two completely different tastes to different flavors.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I did have to keep cleaning it in between.
[SPEAKER_01]: making each one so I would probably recommend.
[SPEAKER_01]: getting to if you're gonna have a cocktail making night and you guys can just have so much fun making different drinks that you both enjoy.
[SPEAKER_01]: When we went away from my birthday, that weekend we actually took a cocktail making class.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was called a mixology class.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I know we did an espresso and a journey martini.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then I think we did like a mango martini, a passion fruit.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, we did a really spicy martini too.
[SPEAKER_01]: That was good, a jalapeno one.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we also did a spicy jalapeno margarita as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, and um, what do you call that bubbly drink with ginger beer?
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, Moscow Mule.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, Moscow Mule.
[SPEAKER_01]: We made like six different drinks.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we were definitely a little tipsy that day, but it was really fun and it also inspired you know, making homemade cocktails too.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that would be a really fun night as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even aside from food, this is this could be a night where you literally just have like meat and cheese or you could just like order sushi or something and just make your own drinks.
[SPEAKER_01]: and speaking of homemade and sushi, I also just bought a homemade sushi kit so we could have a sushi night as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: We did not get to do it yet, but I have made sushi at home once with my mom and we did it all by hand and I remember saying at that time like I really want to get a good kit.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think that'll be fun to do with him.
[SPEAKER_01]: I did just buy that whole kit on Amazon as well as another thing that I bought.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was influenced.
[SPEAKER_01]: I saw somebody doing this on TikTok.
[SPEAKER_01]: They bought a hot stone.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yet again from Amazon.
[SPEAKER_01]: This episode is not sponsored by Amazon.
[SPEAKER_01]: By the way, I'm just like truly telling you girls where I bought all these things.
[SPEAKER_01]: And yes, I paid with my money for everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing was sent to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing was gifted.
[SPEAKER_01]: I even gave commission to people because I bought things from their links.
[SPEAKER_01]: This hot stone, for example, I saw this girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if she was doing it with her kids or whatever, but it was just like a fun dinner at home.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I bought this hot stone, which we went out one night to dinner.
[SPEAKER_01]: to a Portuguese restaurant called Valenca and it's in I think Elizabeth New Jersey and we he got a stake and I got lobster and we cooked it on our own hot stone that's how they serve it in the restaurant like you could get all sides and whatever but that when you order your main thing they give it to you on a hot stone
[SPEAKER_01]: So I bought two hot stones so that we can have a night in doing the same thing, whether we make lobster or shrimp or steak or whatever, we will cook them ourselves.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think those things like the hot stone or the sushi making kit.
[SPEAKER_01]: Really can make any couple bond.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think no matter what your favorite type of food is, you can still enjoy the process.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, even with sushi, say that your man does not like raw fish.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he doesn't eat salmon or tuna, whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can make cooked fish or he could even put chicken or beef like it could be.
[SPEAKER_01]: anything that you would like to make with rice it could be vegetables it does not have to be raw fish and then same with the hot stone like if you're not a steak eater you can put chicken if you're not a chicken eater you could put fish if you're not a fish eater you could put you know like you could just quite literally cook anything and to me this is how you really check off that quality time love language yes again of course there's nothing wrong with those lazy nights where you just want to sit on the couch and watch TV but
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, there's no communication.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no conversation.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no depth.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not having fun together and making memories together.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just kind of sitting there, which is perfectly fine when you both don't have the energy.
[SPEAKER_01]: But you don't want to get too used to doing that and relying on the TV for entertainment all the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: So quality time, I think for both of us, is a really important love language.
[SPEAKER_01]: We both want to make sure that we spend good quality time together.
[SPEAKER_01]: and I think these things are the perfect way to do that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Another thing that I thought of doing, however, I did not look into this yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't buy anything yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how to exactly go about it yet, but it's to make homemade ice cream to make Sundays.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, Sundays in SU and D-A-E, not.
[SPEAKER_01]: D-A-Y, but to make Sundays and you know to have like the sprinkles and the you know that hot felage like the chocolate packets hard like that shell to add some like cookie dough bites to add a little cherry on top like whatever banana split all the different things.
[SPEAKER_01]: I definitely want to learn how to make homemade ice cream.
[SPEAKER_01]: I am sure that it's quite easy
[SPEAKER_01]: but that's definitely one thing on my to do list to look into and I figure I will share and give you girls the idea and maybe somebody else will get to it before me something else that we did around Christmas time which you can do
[SPEAKER_01]: any time doesn't have to be Christmas time, but we painted ceramic mugs like we, you know, hot cocoa where we both like to drink tea.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I got them from Michaels actually, but they are also on Amazon.
[SPEAKER_01]: I got us Santa mugs, but there's also like the reindeer mugs and the elf mugs.
[SPEAKER_01]: There was all different kinds.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then there's all other ones even aside from Christmas.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you could even just get a plane, you know, white mugs doesn't have to even have
[SPEAKER_01]: you know any sort of design on it doesn't have to be for any sort of holiday or you could even get different paint to do on a wine glass and you could do like a wine glass paint day I did that with my girlfriends once I had everybody over had all the paint out I cooked dinner
[SPEAKER_01]: and then we painted some wine glasses, so I thought that was like a really cute funding too.
[SPEAKER_01]: Another date night in that we've had, that to me is like so much fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: We always throw it back, we kick it old school, is game night.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we've played a bunch of different games.
[SPEAKER_01]: Uno is his favorite, so we have played Uno probably five billion times.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love the game Yatzi, I don't know if you guys know what Yatzi is, I know some of you will, but it's not as popular as Uno.
[SPEAKER_01]: But Yatsi, that's like my family, we grew up playing Yatsi.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we had a lot of fun doing that.
[SPEAKER_01]: But something that we started to do together, like his family never played and my family never played is Mexican trained dominoes.
[SPEAKER_01]: So a friend of mine was having a game night one.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I went there and that's what they were playing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I had so much fun playing them.
[SPEAKER_01]: So of course, what did I do?
[SPEAKER_01]: I went home.
[SPEAKER_01]: I ordered Mexican trained dominoes.
[SPEAKER_01]: And now, hey, when I play that, we've played that a bunch of times.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's so much fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: He is definitely the competitive one out of the two of us.
[SPEAKER_01]: I quite literally could not care less whether I win or lose.
[SPEAKER_01]: He'll win the game.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, oh my god, that was good.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, good move.
[SPEAKER_01]: You got me there, whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I'll win.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he will just like, not accept that whatsoever.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's just
[SPEAKER_01]: No, not gonna happen.
[SPEAKER_01]: So he is quite the sore loser.
[SPEAKER_01]: He might say I'm a sore loser, but I am not.
[SPEAKER_01]: What I am is a rule follower.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I make sure that everyone follows the rules of the game, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you think that you're going to win based on something that you are doing that is outside of the rules, I'm going to stop that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to call that out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, that's not what's gonna happen here, but I will definitely accept a fair loss.
[SPEAKER_01]: So game night,
[SPEAKER_01]: can bring up some tensions, can bring up some silly little fights, but it is worth it because it's a lot of fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the last one that I will mention that I am in the works of getting all together is a spa night in.
[SPEAKER_01]: We haven't done it yet, but I'm really looking forward to doing it.
[SPEAKER_01]: This to me is a lot of fun because it's a different vibe.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's quiet.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's more intimate.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's going to be little massages and facials involved.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is definitely one that you won't want to do on your period.
[SPEAKER_01]: You want to be feeling good.
[SPEAKER_01]: You want to be feeling right.
[SPEAKER_01]: And not only is this ticking off the quality time box, but this one's also going to really tick off the physical touch box.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if your man loves physical touch, which I'm going to bet your bottom dollar he does because just about
[SPEAKER_01]: every single guy if you ask them what their love languages are probably all going to say physical touch is number one or at least number two at the least but definitely not three four or five it's gonna be right up there and this will make them feel good they will like to see you initiating something like this because even if it's like innocent it's not necessarily meant to be like a sexy thing it's still kind of is because of
[SPEAKER_01]: the physical touch of it all.
[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes men want you to initiate that.
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't always want to be the one that has to initiate, you know, that kind of moment.
[SPEAKER_01]: So this is something that can be really nice to bring that out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, you've got to make sure you have a robe that fit him.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have like five million rooms, but they are not his size.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you've got to get nice men's large robe, something really cozy.
[SPEAKER_01]: You've got to get him some slippers.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do have slippers for him in the house.
[SPEAKER_01]: We love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I also have
[SPEAKER_01]: skin care that he likes, so that'll be good for when I do.
[SPEAKER_01]: His little facial, of course, you need to make sure you get your hot stones.
[SPEAKER_01]: You get a few of those.
[SPEAKER_01]: You get a nice massage kit.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe even some like massage tools, whether it be like the wood therapy or just like those pressure point tools, like something that can really get in there, or a back scratcher.
[SPEAKER_01]: I tend to give really good back scratches because I have long natural nails, so they're nice and like sharp and pointy.
[SPEAKER_01]: but you could get those little back scratchers or the head scratcher.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know that thing that's like a head scratch massager thing that it almost looks like a like a whisk in a sense but you it's open at the top and you just like put it on your head and like scratch down on the head like that can make basically anybody fall into a trance and of course you're going to want to get a heated blanket and if you want to really kick it up a notch if you want to really invest
[SPEAKER_01]: I have the heated like blanket sauna.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not heated like I think it's called a sauna blanket.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have it from higher dose.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to link the higher dose sauna blanket to my Amazon, but I'll also link a cheaper one, but I personally don't have so don't comfort me if it's not good, but I'm just giving a
[SPEAKER_01]: cheaper alternative because I know that not everyone's going to want to spend seven hundred dollars on a sauna blanket but that's only if you want to really kick it up a notch you could do just a typical heated throw blanket and that and itself could be enough but the thing with the sauna blanket is that it's the infrared sauna so it helps with like weight loss and blood like circulation and all it has a lot of
[SPEAKER_01]: health benefits.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's the advantage of that one.
[SPEAKER_01]: I have used it a few times.
[SPEAKER_01]: He has not used it himself yet, but I'm definitely going to incorporate that into our spawnite, so it is worth looking into for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I would love to keep this episode a short and sweet and ended here.
[SPEAKER_01]: There are a lot of dear Victoria.
[SPEAKER_01]: submissions that I will save because a lot of you girls are just dealing with some shiny men.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot of shadyness, a lot of breakups, a lot of negativity happening and I feel like this episode was a really positive one.
[SPEAKER_01]: This one was all about good vibes and I don't want to intoxicate it with
[SPEAKER_01]: Beast toxic men and their bad vibes.
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's just leave this one here and we will get to those another day.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't really feel like doing the tough love today.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm on a high.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm feeling good.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want your girls to romanticize your relationships.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want you to have some fun, date nights in embrace your feminine energy, spoil your man and just have a lot of fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we'll leave it at that for today.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you girls so much for listening until next time girls.