[SPEAKER_00]: Close friend M. Twenty-four cheated on his partner of two years F. Twenty-one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I M. Twenty-four tell her?
[SPEAKER_00]: I have been close friends with Stephen ever since we were teenagers.
[SPEAKER_00]: We bonded over a love of rap music and computers.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's the kind of guy that always means well and although a lot of my stories involve in getting drunk messing up in some way, when the chips are down, I know that he will always be there and he has.
[SPEAKER_00]: Stephen has been dating Stacey properly for the past two years properly and they have been involved with each other on off again for almost as long as I have known him.
[SPEAKER_00]: They dated for a while and he broke up with her when he went to uni, but as they both grew up, they still carried a flame for each other and got together when he returned to our hometown.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right now she is away at uni and you probably visits her every other weekend.
[SPEAKER_00]: Together they are that kind of lovey-dovey couple that you are scared to leave alone on fear of them fornicating all over your possessions.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yesterday, Stephen was visiting me in my wife and after my partner made a S-time joke, he went quiet.
[SPEAKER_00]: He then told us he cheated on Stacy.
[SPEAKER_00]: A couple of months ago, he went out on a weekend with another group of friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: They went clubbing, bought a few bottles of gray goose between them and a couple girls showed interest in him and his crew.
[SPEAKER_00]: In the club, the girls put on a show for them and then they made out with him and all of his mates.
[SPEAKER_00]: That leads to a taxi ride to the girl's house and a S-time jean bang you probably have to pay nine point nine nine to watch on your TV box.
[SPEAKER_00]: What makes it even worse was that during the kerfuffle, Steven seemed him broke so he continued unprotected, no matter how you look at it, Steven messed up.
[SPEAKER_00]: On the bright side Steven didn't have S-time with Stacey whilst he was waiting for his test results he is all clean but he is no plan to tell her and wants to carry this secret to the grave.
[SPEAKER_00]: What makes it even worse is when Stephen and Stacey weren't so strong they had a big fight.
[SPEAKER_00]: Stacey was worried that Stephen would cheat on her insecurity issue she has worked on and Stephen was adamant that he wouldn't and almost offended that she would suggest such a thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: My dilemma is should I tell Stacey that Stephen cheated on her?
[SPEAKER_00]: I truly believe that without alcohol, he wouldn't have such a thing but he becomes a testicle-controlled flying penis with a severe case of FOMO when he is alcohol.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't know Stacy from any one on the street if she wasn't dating Steven but if my wife cheated on me, I would want to know so I could fly kicker out of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I stay quiet, I am doing something that I wouldn't want to do to me but if I do tell, I lose a close friend and cause nothing but pain and suffering for two people who love each other I am sure that the do love each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: Reditors reaction story too after, Reditor won, but if my wife cheated on me, I would want to know so I could fly kicker out of my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: So ducking tell Stacy, Reditor follow up, or tell Stephen he has to let Stacy know he cheated or you will.
[SPEAKER_00]: Given the chance to come clean, argue if the situation was reversed, he would want to know if is so cheated on him.
[SPEAKER_00]: Up, take a stand.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to be the one to tell Stacey, but you can give Stephen a reality check that a relationship built on lies is cowardly and against the morals he professed to have, read it or two, absolutely teller.
[SPEAKER_00]: If your wife cheated on you and she told a friend, wouldn't you hope that friend would tell you about it?
[SPEAKER_00]: Op answer, I would want someone to tell me but that is for selfish reasons though.
[SPEAKER_00]: In the same right I honestly wouldn't hold it against her friend if they didn't tell me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now if the person my wife tells is our friend, then I expect to be the very next phone call.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's because if you make someone a friend, you should have a vested interest in them being happy and that they don't get duct over.
[SPEAKER_00]: If both parties or my friends I would be telling immediately, if neither are my friends I wouldn't say a word, doing that is just causing drama.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I found out that Stephen was being cheated on again I would say but it's the overweight.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hold no relationship with Stacey except she is my mates bird and she is a decent chick.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even have her number.
[SPEAKER_00]: I tell her, I won't be their walker thought the recovery, she has her friends for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: What I will see if a flawed friend, who has helped me though the roughest times in my life feel betrayed, hurt and angered.
[SPEAKER_00]: I will automatically lose a friendship for what, so I can say I did the right thing since for the time being I know Stacy just a little bit more than the chick he was boning.
[SPEAKER_00]: If they break up tomorrow I am not seeing Stacy again, but if they get married, and me and Stephen remain friends, I am going have to see her regularly and know that secret, telling her then is an option.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is just a selfish act to save me the stress of keeping that secret.
[SPEAKER_00]: Loyalty to the universe that owes me nothing or loyalty to my friend who helped me not top myself during my dark days.
[SPEAKER_00]: Reddit or three, you say he wouldn't have done this if he wasn't drunk, so does he plan to quit drinking entirely, forever?
[SPEAKER_00]: If not, it seems likely he'll cheat again, since you say he can't control his time-wality when drunk.
[SPEAKER_00]: What if the girl he had unprotected S time with turns up pregnant and comes looking for child support?
[SPEAKER_00]: If I were his so, I'd want to know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story two, just found out my twenty-seven-half girlfriend twenty-two F cheated on her last boyfriend with me, and lied about it, just found out my twenty-seven-meter's girlfriend twenty-two F of seven months, cheated on her previous boyfriend with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've been together for just about six months.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were seeing each other for three months prior to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: After we made it official, I put a bunch of clues together based on things she said to me in the past mainly as it relates to their timeline that indicated that she was still in a relationship with him around the time that we first hooked up.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not only things that she's told me but anecdote stories or friends have told me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I presented them to her and she refused my accusations.
[SPEAKER_00]: However, she was totally unable to validate any of her points or refute any of mine.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had like nine pieces of evidence that she had cheated on her last boyfriend, everything in my gut but also just flat out evidence indicated that she wasn't telling the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: These arguments got pretty extreme at times, but I eventually let it go because she had so much conviction in her version of the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Truly the only times we've had any friction is as it relates to this specific argument.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've told her and meant it that I truly don't care if she cheated on him.
[SPEAKER_00]: It wouldn't affect our current relationship her ex was a pathological liar and was abusive both physically and verbally, so I'm not all that surprised it happened.
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually got an a physical altercation with him a little before my girlfriend and I made it official more so, my concern with all of this was that she could sit in front of me, look me in the eyes, and lie, anyways we got into the argument again recently.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was really intense.
[SPEAKER_00]: I left to link up with some friends.
[SPEAKER_00]: Got drunk and came back home I'm living at hers ATM, until I move into my new app next month I've never done this in the past, and I felt guilty the entire time I did this, but I look through her phone while she was asleep and finally found concrete evidence of her having cheated on him with me, in her own words, from a text conversation with one of her friends, the next morning we hung out and laughed, and I debated on telling her that I know she's been lying.
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt guilty for going through her phone.
[SPEAKER_00]: But we communicate everything to each other and it was on my mind and I knew she could read something was up, I tell her what happened, in a really calm way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Explain that I shouldn't have went through her phone, but it sucks as how that's the only way I would have found out the truth otherwise, she seemed defeated and remorseful.
[SPEAKER_00]: Says she just got stuck in the lie and was too deep in it and scared to admit that to me be see it would taint how I view her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I can tell she has some PTSD from her past relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was incredibly judgemental and she was afraid to communicate things with him.
[SPEAKER_00]: This girl shows me the most love I've ever felt in my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I never anticipated being in a relationship as it went down, but the chemistry and rapport we have is something I couldn't walk away from.
[SPEAKER_00]: I do know that she's absolutely in love with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Haven't doubted that at any point.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just scared with how far she was willing to take this lie, even after seeing how crazy it was making me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I truly was concerned from my mental health at a certain point BC I couldn't comprehend how she could try and deny the facts I presented to her.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I know I actually was right the entire time.
[SPEAKER_00]: One last thing, she is BPD.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been looking into it lately and it looks as if cheating and compulsive lying is a thing that happens in a lot of relationships with PPL who have BPD and that terrifies me when I think back to our arguments in the past.
[SPEAKER_00]: and her commitment to her lies.
[SPEAKER_00]: She says nothing like that would ever happen in our relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to believe her and make this work but would hate for this to be a hint at what's to come and I'm contemplating ending the relationship just to maybe spare me of that heartbreak in the future.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think she does love me and I really think that she thinks, she won't do the same asset to me in the future, but I can't shake the feeling this is a prelude of what's to come.
[SPEAKER_00]: But, Redditers reaction story three after, Reddit or one, it is absolutely a hint of what's to come the moment she finds someone more interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Reddit or two, if she'll do it with you, she'll do it to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Reddit or three, Manop, this is a tough situation to go through.
[SPEAKER_00]: Mental illness is not only incredibly difficult for the person suffering from it, but for those closest to that person as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're asking for advice based on what you presented, I would say walk away.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not because you don't love her but because you deserve a healthy relationship built on mutual trust.
[SPEAKER_00]: And even if she doesn't mean it, it doesn't change that she is lying and gaslighting you.
[SPEAKER_00]: It sounds like she could benefit from some therapy and learning more about her own mental health issues and how to positively cope with them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Until then, she's going to probably be more destructive than she means too.
[SPEAKER_00]: Read it or four, you cannot be in a healthy relationship with someone you don't trust.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this might be the kick in the ass she needs to get herself into treatment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Story three, I twenty-four M have been told by my girlfriend twenty-five F that she wants an OG.
[SPEAKER_00]: Throw away because my GF is also a redder.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been together with my girlfriend for about four years now and we have a pretty serious relationship, getting along well and rarely arguing.
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I was chatting to her a few weeks ago about fetishes and she made a joke about O'Gees.
[SPEAKER_00]: We got talking about it and she became more and more excited about the idea of one, revealing it's something she has always wanted.
[SPEAKER_00]: She dated a couple of guys before me but as far as I know she doesn't want to do anything with them, or anyone I know as she has started talking seriously about putting an ad on Craigslist.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would be part of the OG, but feel insecure about it and am worried she will enjoy prefer doing one of the other guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to make her happy, but don't feel one hundred percent comfortable with the idea of this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Reditors reactions, reditor one, hey, honey.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: It'll have to stay in your head.
[SPEAKER_00]: Compromise could take the form of using a toy on her while you're in her.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not an uncommon thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't open up your relationship if you don't want to, read it or two.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're not one hundred percent comfortable with the idea of including other people in your S-time life, don't do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's plenty of successful relationships that include multiple less-time partners, but those are ones in which everyone involved feels secure and actively into it not ones where one person is just going along with it despite not being comfortable with the idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is a side note, but I also feel more than a little bit skivy about the idea of trying to arrange an orgy over Craigslist.
[SPEAKER_00]: The more people are involved in S-time, the greater the chance that one of them might be bringing an STI into the situation, and beinging a whole bunch of randoms just seems like incredibly risky S-time rule behavior to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: If this is something that you wind up pursuing, I'd probably suggest trying to look into swingers clubs or something like that in your area, or at least try to figure out some way of vetting the participants S-time rule health, Reddit or three, don't do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're definitely not going to enjoy it and it's just going to cause problems.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just a f-tish and I'm sure she can get over it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Reddit or follow up, I agree with don't do an OG or anything else actually you don't want to do, but be prepared to figure out how to satisfy that desire or break up.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't just ignore your partner's SQL desires and expect everything to be okay, read it or four, don't do it if you aren't comfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Try talking with her about why you aren't comfortable with it and what insecurities you might have.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let her know you'd need to work on those insecurities before you feel you'd be able to handle that type of situation.
[SPEAKER_00]: Being in a serious relationship for four years you should be able to have these conversations without ending the relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe there are other new things you could talk about doing together and find something that would excite you both, read it or five, do not open your relationship up unless both parties want it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not one party wants it and the other is okay with it, I guess, if it will make you happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean both of you are one hundred percent on board with the idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is she specifically wanting multiple men, or is she open to women?
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you be open to the latter?
[SPEAKER_00]: If she just wants to have multiple partners at once and you're major hang up as the others being male, maybe you could compromise and include women instead.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if she doesn't like the thought of you being with those other women, that certainly gives you a leg up to explain your opposition to her including other men.
[SPEAKER_00]: If ultimately you just want to keep your relationship monogamous, communicate that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe another compromise is to find another couple who want to have same room south x, without any physical contact.
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact even if you do want to bark up this tree, that is a great place to start as it would let you take things at your pace and stop before it gets too far.
[SPEAKER_00]: There are a lot of couples who are poly or swimmers who are patient with newbies and will let them set the pace.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would say that would be a better avenue than your GF posting on Craigslist for Gene Bang participants, Reddit or six, if you're not one hundred percent interested in doing something sexually you're no obligated to for any reason love included, talk with your partner more and find out what about the idea she likes most.
[SPEAKER_00]: It may be possible to simulate the experience to some degree with a blindfold, toys, role-playing, and some creativity without involving other people.
[SPEAKER_00]: Perhaps watch a PRN with an OG while having SX.
[SPEAKER_00]: That way the fantasy is alive with you, but without including you, most importantly, don't do anything you don't want to do fully.