[SPEAKER_01]: You're listening to a four-the-girl's podcast, Flashback Friday episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: Every Friday, I re-share an older episode for new listeners who haven't heard it, or as a refresher for OG listeners, who might need to hear it again as a reminder.
[SPEAKER_01]: Enjoy, and I'll see you with a new episode on Monday.
[SPEAKER_00]: Settling is not an option.
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything I desire is already mine.
[SPEAKER_00]: What if you can have it all?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because every day is for the girls.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, hello.
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back to another episode of For The Girls.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host Victoria Allerio.
[SPEAKER_01]: And today we're talking about productivity guilt and feeling like you're not doing enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: This topic came to be because of actually Valentine's Day.
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope everybody had an amazing Valentine's Day.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I had Valentine's Day here at home and I spent
[SPEAKER_01]: basically two full days preparing for it decorating, blowing up balloons, baking the cake, just getting everything in order and I really got no work done and so I really really had like a huge sense of guilt in regards to that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think a lot of people experience those feelings when they take any time for their personal life or they do anything
[SPEAKER_01]: older than work when you see like your tasks start piling up you have things to do that you didn't get done in the time that you thought they would get done because you had something else to do outside of work something for yourself and then these feeling just come over of pure guilt and
[SPEAKER_01]: What it really makes me think about just productivity as a whole is how important your mindset is around it because if you have productivity guilt, that's not coming from a good place.
[SPEAKER_01]: A good place would be like you're feeling self-motivated, you're feeling inspired, you're feeling excited, you're feeling generally good about getting shit done and you're looking forward to completing the tasks at hand.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you're not even necessarily excited about your tasks, but you're just not feeling bad about them.
[SPEAKER_01]: You generally feel good about them.
[SPEAKER_01]: As opposed to only being productive or getting things done because you feel bad, you know, like that productivity guilt is coming from
[SPEAKER_01]: anxiety it's coming from feeling generally bad and in those cases you're not even being necessarily productive because you're just trying to get shit done for the sake of getting it done and because you're nervous or anxious that like it's not going to get done on time and whatnot and when you do things like that and operate from that mindset and that headspace that's when it leads to burnout and I have a whole episode talking about you know stopping that hustle culture burnout because
[SPEAKER_01]: That's where this ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur ur
[SPEAKER_01]: So quite frankly, this fear of not being productive enough actually hinders our work, even though we think it's doing the opposite.
[SPEAKER_01]: We think just because, okay, I rushed.
[SPEAKER_01]: I finished on time.
[SPEAKER_01]: I got it done that that means we're doing what we need to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're getting our job done.
[SPEAKER_01]: But why does it have to be?
[SPEAKER_01]: get the job done or have your sanity.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why does have to be one or the other?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why can't we have both?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why can't we work efficiently and productively while keeping our sanity?
[SPEAKER_01]: This is why I'm saying, having that mindset of like, I'm not doing enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: I need to move faster.
[SPEAKER_01]: I need to be more productive.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't take time to work on my things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Henders are work because that mindset is making it more challenging for us to perform at our best ability.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you have a negative mindset going on, you're not going to perform at, you know, your highest potential.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to start half-assing things.
[SPEAKER_01]: and your heart is just not going to be in what you're doing and you're going to be doing it under almost like a microscope or a lens that you put on yourself because we don't even realize what we do to ourselves when we set big goals or when we start comparing ourselves to other people like
[SPEAKER_01]: What's happening is first that you feel like you're not achieving enough or accomplishing enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you start to compare yourself to others who have done more or seem to just be further ahead of you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then after that, you feel ashamed.
[SPEAKER_01]: where you feel disappointment.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you're not in that place.
[SPEAKER_01]: And quite frankly, you don't even know what place they're in.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just what it seems like to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just from the outside looking in.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's a vicious cycle of the negative mindset starts.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you start to feel like you're not doing enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're not where you want to be.
[SPEAKER_01]: So then you start to play the comparison game.
[SPEAKER_01]: You start to look at everybody else.
[SPEAKER_01]: And now you feel terrible about yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your self-esteem is lowered.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your confidence is lowered and you feel disappointed in yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: But sometimes you're looking at someone's long term plan or ten year plan and you're just like putting it into this small little bubble of like something that they're doing right now and you have no idea how long it took them to get to that place.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's that saying that's like
[SPEAKER_01]: And overnight success took ten years to build something of this sort like you might see somebody you guys know I always put you're the quotes I hear them and I vaguely remember them, but I don't have them written down so I can't like say it perfectly, but that's saying is because they're saying like
[SPEAKER_01]: You might see somebody come out from nowhere.
[SPEAKER_01]: This overnight success, whether it's a singer or a content creator or a business that just came out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like all of a sudden, you know, they were nowhere to be found.
[SPEAKER_01]: And all of a sudden, they're all up in your face.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everywhere you look, everyone's using them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like the Stanley Cup for example.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's something that everyone feels like came out quite literally overnight.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it didn't exist.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then all of a sudden, everybody was talking about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's a business that existed for years prior, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a hustle for years prior.
[SPEAKER_01]: They were attempting to build it and then things change, you know, one height over social media.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that overnight success actually took years and years to build.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you might feel like you're not getting enough done because you're looking at the bigger picture.
[SPEAKER_01]: When the truth is, you can probably accomplish ten times more on a regular basis.
[SPEAKER_01]: if you would set up smaller realistic and more doable goals for yourself instead of looking at the goals of being like I want to be a hit I want to be a millionaire instead of looking at the big picture goals and the long term goals focus on the short term and by short term I don't even necessarily mean six months I mean
[SPEAKER_01]: daily weekly monthly.
[SPEAKER_01]: When you think about it, if you prioritize small goals, you're obviously more likely to check them off on a daily weekly or monthly basis rather than those big goals of like, I want to get a million followers.
[SPEAKER_01]: you're not going to have that on a daily weekly monthly basis that might take years.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I've been growing my social media accounts since twenty fifteen almost ten years and I don't even have a million followers.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if it's taking me even more than ten years and who's to say you would take anybody less than that per se.
[SPEAKER_01]: Some people never get there and quite frankly, I might never get there.
[SPEAKER_01]: Nor is it even really a goal for me at this point.
[SPEAKER_01]: It would be nice, but
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just not even a goal, but anyway, at one point it was.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if I was working on a regular basis with that as my goal and that as my means and measure of success, then I would have quit, I would have been discouraged, I would have been so disappointed, so let down comparing to other people.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that's like a lifetime goal, not a daily realistical.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when I was
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, making or even sell to this day when I do make my more doable goals I'm checking them off regularly because they're getting done and so now I'm self motivated.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel better.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel disciplined to say like let me keep going because I'm accomplishing
[SPEAKER_01]: A, B, and C. And they might not be big ginormous goals, but they could be the littlest things even down to like, tidying up my apartment.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it just feels good knowing that I got it done.
[SPEAKER_01]: It just feels good being able to check something off of your to-do list.
[SPEAKER_01]: So setting these unrealistic huge goals daily, like all the time, is just bound to be unattainable.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's bound to end up in disappointment.
[SPEAKER_01]: not to mention this is also a big thing not to mention when did we start to think that the only way to be valuable or successful in life was by measuring our professional achievements or our career accolades like some people don't even you know I mentioned cleaning up my apartment as a goal you know
[SPEAKER_01]: The whole point is to just see myself check things off so that I could feel motivated within myself, not to look at other people from motivation, not to compare to other people, just to feel good like I accomplished something.
[SPEAKER_01]: So why isn't that enough?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why do we feel like the only measure of success in life is professional or career achievements and accomplishments?
[SPEAKER_01]: Now obviously those things are super important.
[SPEAKER_01]: Our career, our finances, all that is extremely important.
[SPEAKER_01]: But what if a productive day for you is just cleaning around the house?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, what if a productive day is cleaning up your closet, updating your wardrobe, making piles of things to keep, get rid of, sell, donate, alter, like get tailored?
[SPEAKER_01]: What if
[SPEAKER_01]: A productive day for you is throwing things away from around the house that you don't need or what a productive day for you is journaling and getting your mindset right and prioritizing that me time and working on your mental health.
[SPEAKER_01]: What if a productive day for you is finishing a book that you started or working out or going grocery shopping?
[SPEAKER_01]: or cooking the home cooked meal and eating healthy.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, these are all different examples.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes those days are more effective for us than anything else because it gets our mindset back in the right place.
[SPEAKER_01]: It gets our head back on track.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know that I feel accomplished once I finish anything that I start.
[SPEAKER_01]: No matter what it is, even like I said, I spent two days getting ready for
[SPEAKER_01]: Valentine's Day, and I just felt so good once it was all done.
[SPEAKER_01]: And none of that was productive for my work, my income, my career, my profession.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that right there just goes to show that you can feel good about yourself or feel accomplished just by simply.
[SPEAKER_01]: finishing, literally, and even that you start, we feel accomplished once we see these things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Once we see our house go from a mess to tidy and clean, we feel better.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think that right there can satisfy our calling for productivity.
[SPEAKER_01]: When we feel unproductive, I really think that seeing the transformation, seeing the difference
[SPEAKER_01]: can scratch that itch, you know, instead of feeling guilty like oh, I didn't get XYZ done.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, oh, but I did get this done.
[SPEAKER_01]: That feels good.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then when that's done, we can work on those projects that we have for work.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then we could pick up on our business tasks.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we're starting on a positive note rather than a negative one of guilt.
[SPEAKER_01]: This way we're starting from feeling good and feeling productive and feeling accomplished from no matter how small of a goal it was that you completed.
[SPEAKER_01]: instead of starting from that anxious place or that bad feeling of like, I'm not doing enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think if we can master operating from this place, this will help so much with our anxiety and also alleviate stress.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know that feeling all too well.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't even enjoy yourself because your mind is in a million other places of what you have left to do or what you should be doing.
[SPEAKER_01]: For me, you know, an example would be last week with my podcast.
[SPEAKER_01]: I like to be finished recording and edited and you know uploaded and all that by Thursday.
[SPEAKER_01]: And last week, my week was just busy.
[SPEAKER_01]: It didn't work out that way.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I started it on Thursday.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I didn't finish it on Thursday.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that was what my goal was.
[SPEAKER_01]: My goal was to be done that day because I was leaving on Friday for my weekend trip.
[SPEAKER_01]: I went away for my birthday for the weekend.
[SPEAKER_01]: And like I said, that didn't happen.
[SPEAKER_01]: I started Thursday, but I did not get to finish it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I left before it could be done.
[SPEAKER_01]: So Sunday night, when I got home at nine PM, mind you, my episodes go live.
[SPEAKER_01]: at midnight because they go live every Monday at midnight.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had to finish recording and Kremlin all in in three hours from nine o'clock Sunday night to midnight.
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually legit finished at midnight on the dot.
[SPEAKER_01]: I sent my boyfriend a picture of my computer screen when I uploaded the episode and hit legit said, twelve o'clock, twelve a.m.
[SPEAKER_01]: on the screen.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's just a terrible feeling that stress because I was so stressed throughout the weekend, especially on Sunday.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was so anxious all day on Sunday that it wouldn't be done.
[SPEAKER_01]: But look,
[SPEAKER_01]: I got it done.
[SPEAKER_01]: The sky didn't fall, the world didn't end, and emergency didn't break out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now granted, I don't recommend doing this at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do not recommend waiting until the last minute.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think that that's a good thing at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: But guess what?
[SPEAKER_01]: It happened sometimes.
[SPEAKER_01]: It just, it is what it is.
[SPEAKER_01]: I ended up having a busy day on Thursday and then I left on Friday and like that was that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Could I have found the time if I spread it out throughout the week?
[SPEAKER_01]: Monday through Thursday?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I absolutely could have.
[SPEAKER_01]: But sometimes we don't get.
[SPEAKER_01]: To work that way, sometimes it just doesn't all work out perfectly in the way that we hope.
[SPEAKER_01]: And guess what?
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't make you any less than because of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't decrease your value whatsoever because of it sometimes we just have an off week.
[SPEAKER_01]: And maybe it sucked that I had a cram everything in.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sunday, night, you know, night, a clock to midnight.
[SPEAKER_01]: But like I said, I got it done and it is what it is.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: Life goes on.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel any better or worse generally about myself.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we really need to identify.
[SPEAKER_01]: What the source is of these feelings?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because for me in that moment, it was all me.
[SPEAKER_01]: This was a self-inflicted belief.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's very important that we can identify the source of those feelings, the guilt, the anxiety, the stress, the negative mindset, the fear around not doing enough or not being productive enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because it'll definitely teach us a lot.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you have to be able to answer the question.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are these beliefs original?
[SPEAKER_01]: or where they influenced by someone else.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I just said, those beliefs for me were a hundred percent original.
[SPEAKER_01]: So is your guilt, your anxiety, all that productivity guilt?
[SPEAKER_01]: Is this internal or is it external?
[SPEAKER_01]: Did someone make you feel this way?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or is this all you?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you make yourself feel this way?
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe a former boss or business partner or a friend or a parent or a spouse, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it just you telling yourself, I'm not doing enough, I'm not good enough, I'm not achieving enough, I'm not hardworking enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if it's external and these beliefs are influenced by someone else, you have to spot that right away and point it out.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can probably think back to examples of that exact moment, like what a boss or somebody specifically said to you,
[SPEAKER_01]: in a certain moment when maybe you aren't performing to, they are standards.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to realize something.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just because someone's trying to guilt-trip you doesn't mean your guilty, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Just because someone's trying to guilt trip you doesn't mean your guilty.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just because someone's trying to pressure you doesn't mean that you need to feel the pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me say that again.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just because someone's trying to pressure you doesn't mean you need to feel the pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when you're feeling guilty or pressured by others, like I said, you have to identify that and you have to take a stand and decide what you're going to do with this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you going to take it or are you going to shut this down?
[SPEAKER_01]: If your expectations that you have on yourself don't align with their expectations that they have on you, identify that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Figure that out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Get aligned with them on what your goals are for yourself versus the goals that they seem to have decided for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And speaking of external guilt, this is another important part.
[SPEAKER_01]: Aside from somebody,
[SPEAKER_01]: directly putting it on you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Our beliefs of guilt can also be influenced by someone, even if it's indirectly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I mentioned before, the comparison game.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is a deadly freaking game.
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys ever see the show squid game on Netflix and they like die.
[SPEAKER_01]: Feeling that's how brutal the comparison game is as well, just deadly.
[SPEAKER_01]: It'll ruin you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes our source of guilt comes from there.
[SPEAKER_01]: It comes from others who aren't even doing anything to make us feel this way.
[SPEAKER_01]: But we're making ourselves feel this way by looking at them.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're comparing ourselves to others that make our us feel jealous, that make us feel envious, that just creates an anxiety within us or that feeling of not doing enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when we play that comparison game and we look at what other people have or are doing or are accomplished or where they're at in life, that make us feel that way, those negative feelings of jealousy or envy, it diminishes our self-worth.
[SPEAKER_01]: And our self-esteem is absolutely gone.
[SPEAKER_01]: And yes, sometimes comparison is great.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you have the right mindset, you have to be the right mindset to the point where when you are comparing to others, you're not comparing in a sense that you're like, well, they're better than me or I don't have what they have or I want what they have.
[SPEAKER_01]: you see it as inspiration or motivation like you could put that shit on a vision board it makes you feel good you're like I love that that's my goal but if that's not your mindset if you struggle with comparison maybe it's time to unfollow certain people maybe it's time to stop looking at the people who make you feel that way and I say make you feel that way but I really mean
[SPEAKER_01]: that make you make yourself feel that way.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's important that you only look within to boost your self esteem.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's really important that you only rely on yourself to build your motivation.
[SPEAKER_01]: Self motivation will always outweigh influenced motivation, not to mention the fact that I
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like anti-motivation.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm all about discipline, but if you are at least trying to build up your motivation or your seeking sources to build up motivation, look inward.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let it be your self-esteem that drives you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let it be self-motivation.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you are going to look to other people, make sure that there's people that make you feel good about yourself, that make you feel inspired rather than people that drive you for the wrong reasons that make you feel.
[SPEAKER_01]: negative, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's called self-esteem for a reason.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's built within the self.
[SPEAKER_01]: Confidence is built from within.
[SPEAKER_01]: You should not be turning to others to give you motivation or to make you feel better about yourself, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Self.
[SPEAKER_01]: Say it with me now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Self.
[SPEAKER_01]: Self-esteem.
[SPEAKER_01]: feel better about yourself, self-love, self-care, confidence, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: All these words.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna just keep saying it into your phone.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you know what you say, something to your friends, your family, your having a conversation, then that thing starts following you, like an ad, and now it starts popping up on Instagram all over the place.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, that's me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm tapping into your phone right now, making sure that they can hear me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Self-love, self-esteem.
[SPEAKER_01]: Confidence, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not others' esteem.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not others' love.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's self-love.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, if the beliefs are internal, because this was all about external beliefs, influence by other people, but if it's all just you talking to yourself negatively,
[SPEAKER_01]: and creating these beliefs originally from within your own mind.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's come back that.
[SPEAKER_01]: We need to combat that negative internal dialogue, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's better that self-talk.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the real key to doing this is living consciously.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to live life as consciously as you possibly can and mindfully to stop the negative self-talk.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's subconscious living or unconscious living is no good.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're living on autopilot mode, no good.
[SPEAKER_01]: Living on autopilot mode is gonna have you constantly falling back into this trap, into this cycle.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just gonna keep going and going and there's gonna be no signs of stopping.
[SPEAKER_01]: The more conscious and the more mindful that you are, the more empathetic you can be toward yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: and give yourself grace.
[SPEAKER_01]: There we go again with the self.
[SPEAKER_01]: empathetic towards yourself and give yourself grace.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is really big with rest as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: I talk about that all the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll send my rest.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just such a huge advocate for it for taking time to rest, taking time listening to your body relaxing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I believe just for everybody that your body will naturally call out to you when it needs that time, when it needs to relax.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it sends
[SPEAKER_01]: Signals, I mean low energy, just feeling like depleted.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you have a little bit of brain fog, whatever it might be, but if you have this productivity guilt lingering over you, you're going to just completely disregard your body's natural need to relax, and it will ultimately take a toll on you.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you're already feeling low energy depleted energy, if you're already feeling fatigue and you disregard that, imagine how much worse it'll get.
[SPEAKER_01]: It'll show up on your face, your skin texture, your fine lines, your wrinkles, your under eye bags, your dark circles,
[SPEAKER_01]: your weight will fluctuate this is a big one if you don't get enough weight a rest sorry if you don't get enough sleep this very much affects your weight your body will show whether that stress causes you to gain or lose weight you'll see it you know evidently
[SPEAKER_01]: Your energy, like I said, it'll be depleted.
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll just feel really low on a regular basis, even in the middle of the day when you're like, why am I so exhausted right now?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, this doesn't feel right.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to have that bringing fog and so on and so forth.
[SPEAKER_01]: Our body has a natural ability to relax for a reason.
[SPEAKER_01]: and that needs to be honored.
[SPEAKER_01]: We are not machines, we are not robots, we are not built to go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're twenty-four-seven.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm someone who used to think I was.
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought I was indestructible.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm always able to reflect and call myself out of my own bullshit about how I was in the previous years.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was somebody who really glamorized
[SPEAKER_01]: hustle culture.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was somebody who really glamorized, no sleep, missing meals because I'm attached to the computer.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't get up.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't do anything other than work.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like glamorizing not watching Netflix at points.
[SPEAKER_01]: I got I was seeing Netflix as like the root of all evil.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, oh, if you have three hours to binge watch a show,
[SPEAKER_01]: Then that's three hours that you could have put into your side hustle.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you can't complain about having no money if you're watching a show on Netflix.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you know, I would repot.
[SPEAKER_01]: Those were necessarily my quotes.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like reposting those quotes from like business accounts because I firmly believed in them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And now, I mean, I don't know if it's just age.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if maybe I just get more tired as I get older or if it's just a maturity, a mentality shift.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not sure exactly what it is.
[SPEAKER_01]: But now I can tell you for a fact that seeing Netflix as the root of all evil is absolutely not the way to be productive.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not the only way at least.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe for some people.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is one way.
[SPEAKER_01]: It certainly did work for me at the time because I built a very successful business and I made a lot of money.
[SPEAKER_01]: But for me it just wasn't sustainable.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was only productive for a few years.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that couldn't go on for five, six, seven years.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would never be able to
[SPEAKER_01]: Live life, I would have no memories, I would have no experiences and I would just ultimately be miserable.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's certainly not the only way to build a successful business because it wasn't even the way to build a sustainable one.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think work life balance is extremely important.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I can promise you that you can nap, you can sleep all night.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, that's both, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: You can nap during the day and sleep all night.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just don't take your nap late at night.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to want to take your nap at least before one to a clock in the afternoon.
[SPEAKER_01]: When I take those three o'clock naps, I completely fuck myself over twelve what a clock those are like the prime times to be napping.
[SPEAKER_01]: In any case, you can nap, you could sleep, you could eat three meals in the day, you could catch up on your favorite show, you can binge watch your favorite show all while also being successful in your career.
[SPEAKER_01]: And, and guess what?
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll feel so much better doing all of it too.
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll feel so much better having that me time, having that balance, taking care of your health.
[SPEAKER_01]: I promise you that taking care of your health, both mental and physical will never be a bad thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: It will never harm you.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why I thought like,
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a cool thing to like miss lunch sometimes or like forget to shower during the day or like not sleep at night like there were definitely times where I would stay up working till four o'clock in the morning or there were times where I went to sleep at same midnight but then I was waking up at four in the morning like my sleep schedule was just so fucked so all over the place I don't I don't know I mean listen it's hard to really like completely bash it because like I said it did work for me at that time
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just super, super unsustainable.
[SPEAKER_01]: So take it for me as somebody who had no balance in life.
[SPEAKER_01]: Taking care of that, prioritizing that balance, focusing on your mental health, focusing on your physical health, spending time, just decompressing, and all that will never, ever, ever be a bad thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel so much better in life now than I did then.
[SPEAKER_01]: But of course, you still have to get work done.
[SPEAKER_01]: You still have to get things done.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is not absolutely not me sitting here saying like, fuck your work.
[SPEAKER_01]: just go send them bin things on Netflix because no, I do not believe in that at all either.
[SPEAKER_01]: But you have to find a system that works for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's all it is.
[SPEAKER_01]: Time blocking, making your to-do list.
[SPEAKER_01]: Time blocking is great because if you give yourself an allocated time slot to start and finish something,
[SPEAKER_01]: You're so much more likely to actually get it done because you're going to get it done within that timeframe.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to prioritize the time block rather than just aimlessly working without a deadline.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you just work and it's like, yeah, I could just gall event and whatever they're off the day, things tend to get prolonged or pushed back because without a deadline in place, without a time slot in place, we tend to
[SPEAKER_01]: procrastinate, so figure out your tasks, figure out what you have do, you know, for work and whatnot, and make your time blocks, and then also make sure to make blocks in there for breaks.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lunch, rest, going for a walk, whatever you need to fit in there that gives you something to look forward to, something to just feel good about.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't wait for lunch after I finish recording this episode that is for a fact okay nothing feels more productive than completing a work focused time lock and then getting to go on to your next thing like
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, the alarm goes off or the notification goes off that you have like ten minutes left and you actually get it done and then you get to be done and just go on to the next project.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like chef's case, we absolutely love that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I also mentioned to do list.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now my favorite way to organize to do list is by writing out and reading that needs to be done in order of importance.
[SPEAKER_01]: So give your tasks on your to-do list a hierarchy and select the ones at the top to be the ones that are non-negotiable.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, the non-negotiables absolutely have to get done today and you cannot go to sleep and end your night until they are complete.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now whatever is not a non-negotiable can also get done within the same day.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you get them done with your non-negotiables, that's amazing.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a highly productive, awesome day.
[SPEAKER_01]: Congratulations.
[SPEAKER_01]: But they're not your non-negotiables because those tasks can wait for tomorrow if they have to.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you can do them today, but it's okay if you get them done tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then with those tasks, whatever was not a non-negotiable from your to-do list that does not get done today becomes a non-negotiable tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if it was number five on your to-do list today, and it did not get completed, it becomes number one or number two on your to-do list tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't leave tasks to be done for three, four, or five days, or even worse, a whole week, like nothing should be on your to-do list for more than two days.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's it.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's when that feeling of not doing enough comes in.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's when that guilt comes in.
[SPEAKER_01]: So the goal is to always have your to-do list banged out in full.
[SPEAKER_01]: in one or two days.
[SPEAKER_01]: Not a non-negotiable today?
[SPEAKER_01]: Fine, it becomes a non-negotiable tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_01]: So do not start to push that, like, not as important tasks off for three, four, five days.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, that's when you're gonna start to feel that guilt.
[SPEAKER_01]: I also love to break my to-do list down by specific action steps rather than one general task.
[SPEAKER_01]: like cleaning your room, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Cleaning your room should not be how the goal is written on your to do list, how the task is written on your to do list.
[SPEAKER_01]: It should be broken down by specifics, wash the sheets, make the bed, dust the furniture, vacuum the floor, do the laundry, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: Specific things to be done within that bigger goal.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if you want to write
[SPEAKER_01]: out big clean my room make bullet points underneath that so that you know you're tackling each part and it could even just be for the sake of the visual you know it could even just be for the sake of seeing yourself check it off and that's just giving you that little bit of feeling productive and just feeling
[SPEAKER_01]: accomplished because you got that specific action step done.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, if you really want to master, like absolutely master the to-do list, make use of calendars.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, it sounds so simple, it sounds so obvious.
[SPEAKER_01]: but sometimes the most obvious things are often overlooked.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is how you'll be able to see on a daily basis what's urgent and what's not.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know how I said make that totem pole.
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't make the hierarchy of from one to whatever listing out your to-do list with non-negotiables at the top.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you don't have
[SPEAKER_01]: certain things were in on the calendar.
[SPEAKER_01]: You won't even be able to make that list at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: You won't even be able to figure out the hierarchy, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: This allows you to see, like I said, what's urgent and what's not.
[SPEAKER_01]: When I don't add something to my calendar, because I convinced myself, I'll remember, I regret it every single time.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I do this all the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know when I'm going to learn.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe this will be my pivotal moment.
[SPEAKER_01]: This will be the day that I change.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I find myself always scrambling through texts and emails to figure out when is this thing happening?
[SPEAKER_01]: When did we agree to?
[SPEAKER_01]: Did she even give me a date?
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I can't even remember.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I always regret every time I don't use my calendar.
[SPEAKER_01]: But when I do use my calendar, when my calendar is filled up and everything is written out, the visual makes such a difference and that in itself
[SPEAKER_01]: helps me even just get my to do list in order to begin with.
[SPEAKER_01]: I cannot get my to do list together without knowing exactly what's to do and when it's to.
[SPEAKER_01]: So the calendar comes first then the to do list then the time blocking which
[SPEAKER_01]: I basically said those three things backwards because I mentioned time blocking first to do the second calendar third, but that's just the way that they came to my head as I was thinking of things and just talking to it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But as I now really work through it and actually think about it,
[SPEAKER_01]: There's supposed to be flipped.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I want to make note of how important that is and how important this order will be for you and how life-changing doing things in this order will be.
[SPEAKER_01]: Think of those three things like the system, calendars to do list, time blocking, okay?
[SPEAKER_01]: So getting your dates organized on the calendar to figure out what's urgent and what's not, that comes first.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is on a large scale.
[SPEAKER_01]: Weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly, whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then, on a smaller scale, on a daily basis, you organize your to-do lists.
[SPEAKER_01]: Based on what you just put out there, based on those dates, based on your calendar.
[SPEAKER_01]: So based on the larger scale, weekly monthly quarterly, et cetera, you can make your daily to-do lists.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then, you break it down from there.
[SPEAKER_01]: You break it down from top priority, non-negotiables, to least priority.
[SPEAKER_01]: and willing to negotiate getting it done today.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then, from those tasks, okay, you create your time block for the day.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so once you have the to-do list and you know what needs to get done, you're able to make those allocated time slots for the day and you're able to get your to-do list organized by day and time and hour and minute and how long you're gonna spend on it and so on and so forth.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you know when you're working on each task and that will alleviate any stress that comes from being unorganized, working aimlessly
[SPEAKER_01]: working without a deadline.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you struggle with that with the whole idea of working without a time block and you start to procrastinate in all that, this is the system that will help you get there.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because instead of being unorganized and working aimlessly, you're going to be able to look at your to-do list, take the task,
[SPEAKER_01]: and give them time slots, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, one hour, three hours, four hours, two hours, an hour and a half.
[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever that might look like, and then you're gonna feel so much better about your day.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're gonna have something to visually reflect on, and you're just going to see yourself knock things off, complete your time blocks, and just feel so much better.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, there's that.
[SPEAKER_01]: We are done with that, but we are not done with the episode, because now we're going to get into a dear victorious submission for today.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you girls don't know,
[SPEAKER_01]: I accept submissions from you girls who need advice, who want to share their situations, just get a little bit of insight.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I typically answer the ones that relate to the episode topic.
[SPEAKER_01]: So they might not necessarily go in the order that I received them, but I answer them when the topic is relevant.
[SPEAKER_01]: I always ask that if anybody is submitting
[SPEAKER_01]: A story or scenario to get advice that they keep it short, sweet, and straight to the point.
[SPEAKER_01]: If it is way too long and way too detailed, we will not be able to get to it in an episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just a lot to read and a lot to share.
[SPEAKER_01]: So condense as much as possible.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you could send these to me through email.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do not accept them on DM, only through email.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that email address is Victoria dot for the girls podcast at gmail.com.
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's get into today's submission.
[SPEAKER_01]: Dear Victoria, this is a bit of an interesting one.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm twenty-four and still living with my parents as I haven't locked in a real career yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've done different jobs, but nothing is necessarily what I want to do or want to be my life's career.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm lucky and fortunate enough to have parents that can still support me, but I feel like a child relying on them for money.
[SPEAKER_01]: When all of my friends have big girl jobs and have more adult responsibilities,
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel so behind in life.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love the idea of living on my own, having my privacy and taking care of myself, but I just don't see it happening in the near future.
[SPEAKER_01]: My parents love having me home still too.
[SPEAKER_01]: So should I just let this coast for as long as I possibly can, or should I overcome my insecurities and get my shit together?
[SPEAKER_01]: I love this question, and it might not be a hundred percent on this exact topic, but I just felt like it pertained to the scenario because
[SPEAKER_01]: It still has something to do with feeling behind, not feeling like you're doing enough, not feeling like you're accomplishing enough, not feeling like you're getting enough done.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is so relevant, so important, and I am just so happy to answer this question.
[SPEAKER_01]: Speaking from somebody who was twenty-nine years old, moved out of my parents house at twenty-three.
[SPEAKER_01]: And not only did I move out and like move within the same city just in a different place, I moved to a different state.
[SPEAKER_01]: I moved from their house in Staten Island, straight to Tampa, Florida, then to Miami, then to Hoboken, I bounced around for a few years.
[SPEAKER_01]: And while I'm so grateful that I did it then, I'm just so grateful for the experiences that I had.
[SPEAKER_01]: There have been so many times where I've been like, damn, I wish.
[SPEAKER_01]: that I would have just stayed home with my parents for as long as I could have possibly done it because my parents would have loved to still have me at home.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will never live with them again and I will never be able to get that time back and I do feel like twenty three was quite young to move out even though I know people move out at literally seventeen eighteen years old.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I did for college.
[SPEAKER_01]: I went away to college at eighteen, but I mean, people move out full time, never live with their parents again after eighteen years old.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that to me is like,
[SPEAKER_01]: What, like, you're such a baby.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't understand it, but now as I'm twenty nine, I think back to being like, why was I in such a rush?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, when I was twenty two, twenty three, that was like my goal.
[SPEAKER_01]: That was what I wanted to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to make enough money, save up enough money to move out, like, right away.
[SPEAKER_01]: And at that time, I don't
[SPEAKER_01]: Think that like you've realized how much you're not to say regret it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to say regret it because I'm so glad that I made the moves that I did because I think that they helped me and shaped me so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: As an adult, but you don't realize how much you're going to look back and be like, why was I in that rush?
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't think of it at that age.
[SPEAKER_01]: At that age, you're like, I can't get out soon enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I just want to be a big girl with like, my big girl job and my big girl money and I don't want to rely on anyone.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I want to have my own place.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was just in such a rush.
[SPEAKER_01]: And now, like, it makes me sad because I'm like,
[SPEAKER_01]: Those were the years that I could have just saved up so much money.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, rent is not cheap and not only rent, just living alone because then that's it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your parents are not supplying that fridge.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not paying for your groceries.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not taking care of your bills.
[SPEAKER_01]: I did not realize how good and how easy I had it made because yeah, I did pay for some things but I didn't realize that I always had a full fridge.
[SPEAKER_01]: that I did not supply.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like those things just don't really dawn on you at that time.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I was in such a rush to spend so much money.
[SPEAKER_01]: I could have saved so much money and same thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: My parents would have loved.
[SPEAKER_01]: to keep me at home for as long as possible.
[SPEAKER_01]: They were so upset, so heartbroken when I left.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know it was really hard on them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they were really strong for me because I was so excited and so happy, you know, is something that I really wanted to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I also always felt that sense of
[SPEAKER_01]: missing home like without even really realizing that that's what that feeling was I kept moving around like I said I bounced around a few times I went from Tampa to Miami then from Miami to Hoboken because I was always still looking for that feeling like I was always still missing home and feeling like
[SPEAKER_01]: Just I couldn't find my place anywhere.
[SPEAKER_01]: I liked where I was living.
[SPEAKER_01]: I enjoyed the places, but I still always felt like something was missing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And now I'm back on satin.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm where I'm originally from.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, this is the most comfortable I've ever been like, this is the most comfortable I have been in life since since right before like leaving.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's that an island in the first place.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like from all those years from twenty three to twenty eight, those five years of not being back on Staten Island.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even though I was happy, it's not like I was faking it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was happy.
[SPEAKER_01]: I still felt something missing, which is why I had to keep moving around to chase the feeling of being like complete and comfortable.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now that I'm back on Staten Island and close to my parents and with my family all the time, I'm like, oh,
[SPEAKER_01]: That was the feeling that I was chasing.
[SPEAKER_01]: So now after having gone through that, I'm able to say like, do not rush.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do not rush.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not worth it.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no need to rush.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything is so expensive.
[SPEAKER_01]: You only live once with your parents.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if this is your time to continue it, then do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, because once you move out, chances are you're not going to go back home.
[SPEAKER_01]: Not saying it's impossible.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not really common that people move out and then move back with their parents.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's usually like once they're out, they're out.
[SPEAKER_01]: So
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no need to rush because this is it.
[SPEAKER_01]: If your parents love having you there and you love being with them, then there should be no reason to want to leave just because you're playing that comparison game.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I talked about in this whole episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: That comparison game, like I said, is so freaking deadly for no reason.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your friends are not ahead of you just because they have those adult responsibilities and big girl jobs.
[SPEAKER_01]: They just happen to find what they loved and wanted to do before you did.
[SPEAKER_01]: You might not have that yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: You might not know what career you want yet, but you have something even more special.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have something even more amazing and that's safety and security.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because above all else, you have a family that's willing to shelter you, to feed you, to take care of you, to provide for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's just no better feeling than true emotional safety, emotional security, being physically safe, financially safe and secure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like all of that is such a freaking
[SPEAKER_01]: blessing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know that you're thinking of these things as insecurities, but it goes back to the question of are these beliefs original or are they influenced by somebody else?
[SPEAKER_01]: And yours are indirectly influenced by somebody else.
[SPEAKER_01]: These are not original beliefs.
[SPEAKER_01]: These are not true insecurities that are deeply rooted within you.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is just you looking at your friends and feeling lack within yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's that indirect influencing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I don't think that you have shitty friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think that your friends are telling you that you're behind.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think it's that at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: If they are, then like, get new friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: But if not, and you're just the one looking at them and you're becoming insecure because like you said, you're like, you know, I love the idea of having what they have, then that's just simply influenced insecurities that can absolutely be overcome.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, of course, should you get your shit together?
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, those are your words, not mine, for lack of better terms.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, sure, you can.
[SPEAKER_01]: But why force yourself into a job if it's not the career that you want for yourself and you don't have to do it?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, if your parents are letting you take your time, if your parents are enjoying you being there and they're not rushing you, they're not forcing you to figure it out, they're not putting pressure on you, they're not telling you, you gotta get your shit together, you gotta get out of this house, then
[SPEAKER_01]: Why?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why settle for a career?
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think people realize that you spend more time working on your business or working your job rather than probably you will in your personal life if you have a nine to five job that is all morning through the afternoon into the early evening every single day
[SPEAKER_01]: that you're spending your time on your job.
[SPEAKER_01]: So why do something that you're not sure about?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why settle if you're not like a hundred percent positive, which what you want to do?
[SPEAKER_01]: Take this time, like you said, should I just let this coast for as long as I possibly can?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, take this time to learn yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Learn what you want.
[SPEAKER_01]: Figure your shit out, but don't force yourself or pressure yourself to get your shit together today.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
[SPEAKER_01]: in the first place for still living with your parents.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know plenty of people who have lived with their parents all this time.
[SPEAKER_01]: All the years that I was bumping around moving around, my friends were saving up their money, having every meal with their parents.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's time that you'll never get back and it's money that you get to save.
[SPEAKER_01]: It just memories that you get to make.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's just absolutely nothing, nothing shameful about that.
[SPEAKER_01]: whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: So don't even think twice about that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you might feel like you don't really have the most privacy, especially if you're dating, like, I don't know if you have a boyfriend or if you're meeting guys, like, yeah, you might not feel like you have the most privacy because you just have a bedroom in your parents house rather than your own place.
[SPEAKER_01]: but so what you will eventually just don't invite guys over just go out go to their place go out to dinner like shouldn't even be thinking about how state so you don't necessarily need that sort of privacy right now so instead of comparing those things to your friends and focusing on the lack focus on the abundance and what you do have because what you do have is such a blessing
[SPEAKER_01]: that a lot more people wish that they had, honestly.
[SPEAKER_01]: You might not see it, you might not realize it because people are not verbalizing it or vocalizing it.
[SPEAKER_01]: People are not saying out loud.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wish I could go back to living with my parents.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wish I didn't move out that early or that soon.
[SPEAKER_01]: But take it from me as the queen of who was in the rush to make the most amount of money, to move out, to be misindependent, to have my own place, to do my own thing,
[SPEAKER_01]: those thoughts have come to my mind more than I could even freaking admit.
[SPEAKER_01]: The amount of times that I've thought about like, why did I spend all this money in rent?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why did I spend all these years away from everybody?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why did I do all that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, it's not that I regret it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so glad for what I did, but those thoughts definitely don't on me.
[SPEAKER_01]: So trust me when I say you have so much to reflect on and be happy about and be grateful for and just
[SPEAKER_01]: Seriously, see us such a blessing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember, it's not about what you don't have.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about what you do have.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you can live life like that, you will live life in pure abundance mode.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is the key.
[SPEAKER_01]: So stop comparing to your friends, stop looking at what everybody else has, stop worrying about what everybody else is doing.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is all just indirectly influencing insecurities that you do not need to have and focus on yourself, focus inward, get to know you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Take this time to coast, figure out what you love, what you want to do, and appreciate the serious, serious amount of security and safety that you have in your life right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is all we have for today, girls.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for listening.
[SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, girls.