WEBVTT 00:01.549 --> 00:08.854 [SPEAKER_00]: when you hear terms like self-care and self-help and emotional burnout. 00:10.154 --> 00:28.447 [SPEAKER_00]: They sound very much so like they come out of a self-help book or a five week program online for thirty nine ninety nine that'll change your life forever and if you just start doing this or telling yourself this and everything is going to change and it's a growing genre for people to suggest ways out 00:29.548 --> 00:45.988 [SPEAKER_00]: programs to quickly shift our lives and to get us on a path of happiness and fulfillment because this generation is suffering from loneliness, depression, at rates that are not only alarming but unprecedented. 00:47.594 --> 01:00.987 [SPEAKER_00]: suicide rates, isolation, all of these different things that are growing in our time and a lot of people try to deal with that by going to Google and searching for something to quickly get them on the right path. 01:01.978 --> 01:06.461 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's about how do I make myself feel better and then this notion of self-care. 01:07.322 --> 01:15.108 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes self-care means it's really just a nice way of saying that I've given too much of myself to everybody else. 01:15.168 --> 01:16.208 [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm just gonna do me. 01:17.049 --> 01:21.953 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's going to be a radical shift of perspective and the way that I live my life now. 01:22.153 --> 01:26.036 [SPEAKER_00]: I've cared too much about everybody else and no one else has reciprocated. 01:26.716 --> 01:28.417 [SPEAKER_00]: I gave too much to life. 01:29.427 --> 01:30.908 [SPEAKER_00]: and light did not give back to me. 01:31.188 --> 01:34.130 [SPEAKER_00]: I gave too much to my friends, but they never gave back to me that way. 01:35.171 --> 01:35.611 [SPEAKER_00]: You know what? 01:35.651 --> 01:42.095 [SPEAKER_00]: In my marriage, I've been the one that's been doing this, this, this and that, and that person has not, my spouse has not reciprocated, so forget about it. 01:42.795 --> 01:44.536 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just gonna do this from now on, right? 01:44.596 --> 01:55.063 [SPEAKER_00]: So self care, when people start searching for self care, usually it's to turn a page after burnout, and because they feel like they've given too much of themselves, and now they wanna turn that page. 01:55.955 --> 02:04.039 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, I wanted to start this football off with that because this is a different type of self-care that we're gonna talk about today in Charlotte's Island. 02:04.059 --> 02:18.467 [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna talk about it from the capacity of the Sunnah, particularly in regards to emotional burnout, compassion fatigue, and being completely overwhelmed by everything that's happening around you to a point that you feel like you have nothing more to spend emotionally. 02:19.407 --> 02:24.430 [SPEAKER_00]: Kashmir happens, and it's horrible. 02:25.368 --> 02:30.849 [SPEAKER_00]: But I just got finished watching a report on Palestine the same day, Yemen the same day. 02:30.869 --> 02:33.310 [SPEAKER_00]: And we have things happening in our border. 02:33.370 --> 02:43.092 [SPEAKER_00]: Do I even have time to think about the kids that are coming up from Guatemala and El Salvador and Honduras that are getting put in cages and treated worse than animals, just a few miles away from me? 02:43.472 --> 02:45.212 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I even start to think about these people? 02:45.292 --> 02:48.433 [SPEAKER_00]: I only have such a capacity when I'm thinking about the world's problems. 02:49.013 --> 02:50.816 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I even direct that capacity? 02:51.357 --> 02:52.940 [SPEAKER_00]: And at some point, do I just burn out? 02:53.000 --> 02:54.442 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm no longer able to cry anymore. 02:54.562 --> 02:57.047 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, seeing images, desensitizes us. 02:57.127 --> 03:01.053 [SPEAKER_00]: We see so many of them, but at the same time ignoring them as not the solution. 03:01.967 --> 03:04.108 [SPEAKER_00]: saying, I'm not going to look at them anymore because they depressed me. 03:04.128 --> 03:06.008 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to stop reading the news because it depresses me. 03:06.649 --> 03:15.051 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, that has a certain amount of privilege to it, that the Prophet ﷺ did not afford to us. 03:15.091 --> 03:17.632 [SPEAKER_00]: They just say, you know, I'm going to turn my back on him because I need to feel better. 03:17.652 --> 03:18.593 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel good right now. 03:18.773 --> 03:23.274 [SPEAKER_00]: I need to enjoy my life and these images are not helping me enjoy my life. 03:23.354 --> 03:24.755 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I need to turn my back on it. 03:25.635 --> 03:39.162 [SPEAKER_00]: The idea is how do I build capacity like the Prophet ﷺ to where I could be exposed to so much and still have much to give to all of that or something to give to all of that without depleting myself to where I am ineffective. 03:40.180 --> 03:58.391 [SPEAKER_00]: as a constructive person in society, and also find myself in a place where I no longer can make any significant strides in my own individual journey to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and in trying to find the best of the hereafter and the best of this life and pursuit of the hereafter as well. 03:59.211 --> 04:00.652 [SPEAKER_00]: And so you start off with the Prophet ﷺ and 04:03.277 --> 04:13.983 [SPEAKER_00]: There is this incredible ability of the Prophet ﷺ when you look at him and there are so many times that you read about the Prophet ﷺ and you could actually just come away saying, well, he's a Prophet. 04:15.038 --> 04:16.698 [SPEAKER_00]: He was a prophet, that he's the prophet. 04:16.718 --> 04:18.779 [SPEAKER_00]: The only answer is that, you know what, I can't do all that. 04:18.899 --> 04:23.059 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't serve the Umma, day and night, and then come home and still repair my shoes. 04:23.159 --> 04:26.620 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, Akunfi, ritmati, ehni, the way the prophet's life almost described. 04:26.680 --> 04:30.701 [SPEAKER_00]: And the chitma of his, in the service of his household when he came home, can't do all that. 04:30.841 --> 04:34.581 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't be Superman outside the house and be Superman inside the house. 04:35.241 --> 04:38.202 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't give this to this person and that to that person. 04:38.262 --> 04:39.482 [SPEAKER_00]: He's just the prophet's life. 04:39.502 --> 04:43.583 [SPEAKER_00]: So how amazing, therefore, there's no need for me to even strive because 04:44.323 --> 04:44.944 [SPEAKER_00]: That's just him. 04:45.444 --> 04:47.906 [SPEAKER_00]: He's just Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallallam. 04:48.367 --> 04:49.728 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's an enormous capacity. 04:50.429 --> 04:54.613 [SPEAKER_00]: How is it that a man Aleyhi sallallahu sallallam could still have the capacity to care? 04:55.816 --> 05:02.803 [SPEAKER_00]: for a bird complaining about its nest when he suffered so much human loss in his own life. 05:03.704 --> 05:05.145 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you even have that potential? 05:05.185 --> 05:16.516 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you have that capacity to think about a camel being overburdened or a bird complaining or a cat complaining or the animals and all of the rights of these other things when you've suffered such human loss in your life? 05:16.576 --> 05:17.938 [SPEAKER_00]: How did that not diminish you? 05:19.720 --> 05:23.882 [SPEAKER_00]: to where you couldn't think about those things anymore, but the Prophet ﷺ still could. 05:24.442 --> 05:29.804 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you cry for others and still smile at them despite having buried six of your seven children? 05:31.205 --> 05:33.586 [SPEAKER_00]: That's any enormous catastrophe. 05:34.346 --> 05:38.568 [SPEAKER_00]: And having lost everybody in your life that supported you at some point. 05:39.630 --> 05:41.212 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you still smile all the time? 05:41.312 --> 05:43.675 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you still cry for other people's pain? 05:43.775 --> 05:47.239 [SPEAKER_00]: And not diminish their pain because your pain is so much greater than their pain. 05:47.259 --> 05:54.047 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, in our situation, when we see the catastrophic nature of the world around us, we're not going through what they're going through. 05:55.268 --> 05:56.710 [SPEAKER_00]: Right, our struggles are 05:57.766 --> 06:04.828 [SPEAKER_00]: are relatively minor, midest fuel compared to the types of horrible things were constantly seeing all over the place, right? 06:04.848 --> 06:07.329 [SPEAKER_00]: So how does the profit slice that I'm being on the other side of that? 06:08.129 --> 06:18.192 [SPEAKER_00]: A man who has gone through so much, human loss still have something to give, not just to other human beings, but to everything around him as well. 06:18.532 --> 06:21.133 [SPEAKER_00]: How does the profit slice on there is a different level of capacity, too? 06:21.173 --> 06:25.554 [SPEAKER_00]: The profit slice sums escape was prayer, and sometimes there is an unhealthy escape. 06:26.593 --> 06:27.374 [SPEAKER_00]: That can take place. 06:27.414 --> 06:32.759 [SPEAKER_00]: But the Prophet's life seems to escape and prayer was not one that made him ignorant of everything else around him. 06:32.819 --> 06:35.301 [SPEAKER_00]: No one loved his prayer more than the Prophet's life on him, right? 06:35.861 --> 06:41.867 [SPEAKER_00]: No one, no human being could say they had more Khushur, more focus, more humility, and all of a lot in their prayer. 06:42.167 --> 06:43.849 [SPEAKER_00]: But guess what, when he was leading Sula up? 06:44.669 --> 06:47.072 [SPEAKER_00]: The Prophet's life seems to have heard a baby crying in the back. 06:48.342 --> 06:52.825 [SPEAKER_00]: And I wasn't too busy in my al-Bukhava adi-amalan, and then he sat to hear that baby. 06:52.906 --> 06:53.666 [SPEAKER_00]: He heard the baby. 06:54.147 --> 07:05.475 [SPEAKER_00]: And the profits like some said, I sped up my prayer out of feeling for the mother that was probably stressed out over the baby, not the muscle lean that one of pounds on the mother of the baby and beat up the father and look around, where is he at? 07:05.535 --> 07:06.816 [SPEAKER_00]: Because the baby was crying and so on. 07:06.856 --> 07:11.400 [SPEAKER_00]: No, he felt sad for the mother who was probably more stressed about her baby. 07:11.460 --> 07:12.621 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you have that capacity? 07:12.961 --> 07:21.483 [SPEAKER_00]: You're in Khushur, no one enjoys his Salah, during the Quraatah, any Fasalah, the coldest of his eyes was prayer, the Prophet's life, such ad-hina Bihayah, Bihayah, the calmest with the prayer. 07:21.803 --> 07:26.444 [SPEAKER_00]: Prayer was his moment, ad-hiz Salah, but he still hears it, and it impacted him. 07:26.504 --> 07:32.586 [SPEAKER_00]: So it wasn't an escape that made him ignorance of the world around him, but it was different. 07:32.626 --> 07:35.987 [SPEAKER_00]: He had capacity for this and capacity for that. 07:36.227 --> 07:41.588 [SPEAKER_00]: How does the Prophet's life, some of them have the capacity to not just love his companions that were around him, 07:42.570 --> 07:44.372 [SPEAKER_00]: But whom Ahwani? 07:45.233 --> 07:46.955 [SPEAKER_00]: There are my brothers, there are my beloved ones. 07:46.975 --> 07:48.456 [SPEAKER_00]: Who are they, O Messenger of Allah? 07:48.736 --> 07:49.898 [SPEAKER_00]: Al-Ladina Aam and Ovi? 07:49.998 --> 07:50.679 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm your only. 07:51.099 --> 07:53.121 [SPEAKER_00]: Those who believe in me and they've never even seen me. 07:53.341 --> 07:53.481 [SPEAKER_00]: Us? 07:53.882 --> 07:55.744 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you even have capacity to love us? 07:57.105 --> 07:58.567 [SPEAKER_00]: When you've got so much around you? 07:59.748 --> 08:04.112 [SPEAKER_00]: But the Prophet's life, so I'm actively connecting himself to people that he would never see. 08:05.244 --> 08:10.847 [SPEAKER_00]: People that he would never know their names or their stories, but still the Prophet ﷺ felt a deep connection to them. 08:10.967 --> 08:13.068 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's an enormous capacity. 08:13.688 --> 08:15.669 [SPEAKER_00]: And the answer is that yes, he is a Prophet. 08:16.090 --> 08:23.453 [SPEAKER_00]: He's not just any Prophet, one that Allah ﷺ describes him as the following. 08:23.493 --> 08:26.435 [SPEAKER_00]: We have not sent you except as a mercy to the world. 08:27.595 --> 08:29.657 [SPEAKER_00]: Not even just a mercy to mankind. 08:29.717 --> 08:32.158 [SPEAKER_00]: Not the Prophet ﷺ, not a mercy to the Muslims. 08:33.063 --> 08:43.093 [SPEAKER_00]: a mercy to all human beings, a mercy to all the animals, a mercy to the environment, a mercy to his past in reviving the best of it and correcting the misdemeist deeds before. 08:44.090 --> 09:03.003 [SPEAKER_00]: to his presence in reforming his world, to the future and leaving behind guidance that is as pristine and clear as night and day that we can implement real life examples, to better our world as well, to the future of the Ahidul with his Shafaah, with his intercession, he is guacamatana ananamim. 09:03.083 --> 09:04.985 [SPEAKER_00]: So he's a mercy to all the worlds. 09:05.525 --> 09:06.246 [SPEAKER_00]: Now here's the thing. 09:07.586 --> 09:12.450 [SPEAKER_00]: He was sent as a mercy to the worlds, but he was also sent as Uswitun Hassan, 09:14.332 --> 09:16.094 [SPEAKER_00]: as a great example for you. 09:17.556 --> 09:19.438 [SPEAKER_00]: For you to adapt, whatever you can. 09:20.599 --> 09:31.792 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, if the Prophet's Law is described as a mercy to the worlds, the closer we become to resembling Arahma, a mercy to everything in everyone around us. 09:33.197 --> 09:40.304 [SPEAKER_00]: The closer we become to that status and to exemplifying the Prophet ﷺ in our own lives. 09:40.885 --> 09:45.870 [SPEAKER_00]: The more we resemble Muhammad ﷺ that idea of being a mercy to the world. 09:46.947 --> 09:50.709 [SPEAKER_00]: The closer we get to, his example, Ali, his Salat was set up. 09:51.409 --> 09:54.531 [SPEAKER_00]: And to fulfilling our own human potential. 09:54.611 --> 09:57.212 [SPEAKER_00]: So yes, he had incredible capacity. 09:57.333 --> 09:58.413 [SPEAKER_00]: Ali, his Salat was set up. 09:58.913 --> 10:02.355 [SPEAKER_00]: Something that we could not attain in our own lifetimes. 10:02.936 --> 10:06.097 [SPEAKER_00]: But he did leave behind something for us to try to implement. 10:06.137 --> 10:16.223 [SPEAKER_00]: And that is that the Prophet ﷺ, despite exceeding in every single sphere of life, still left behind remarkably an example of balance. 10:17.207 --> 10:35.763 [SPEAKER_00]: You could take work, life, worship balance from the life of the Prophet ﷺ. You could take society, family, lessons, and balance from the Prophet ﷺ. He's still left behind a son of moderation too, because there's still a baseline in every one of those spheres of the Prophet ﷺ's life that we can take from. 10:36.717 --> 10:40.960 [SPEAKER_00]: Now again, I want to focus today on this concept of self-care. 10:41.460 --> 10:46.163 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you build that capacity to be able to give so much to everything and everyone around you? 10:46.183 --> 10:47.383 [SPEAKER_00]: Where do you even get to that point? 10:47.884 --> 10:53.127 [SPEAKER_00]: And how do you not suffer from what so many people do, which is this level of just burnout where they completely shut off? 10:53.807 --> 10:55.729 [SPEAKER_00]: I want anything to do with anybody because you know what? 10:55.809 --> 10:57.030 [SPEAKER_00]: I've paid my dues. 10:57.511 --> 10:58.852 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm retiring from Dawa. 10:59.192 --> 11:02.075 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm retiring from the budget, retiring from Kritma. 11:02.395 --> 11:03.736 [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody else take over this stuff. 11:03.776 --> 11:05.278 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want anything to do with this stuff anymore. 11:05.338 --> 11:05.698 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm done. 11:06.279 --> 11:08.240 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm retiring from trying to be super husband. 11:08.321 --> 11:09.982 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm retiring from trying to be a good dad. 11:10.503 --> 11:12.024 [SPEAKER_00]: Retiring from trying to be a good friend. 11:12.544 --> 11:13.325 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sick of it all. 11:13.706 --> 11:14.306 [SPEAKER_00]: Forget about it. 11:14.586 --> 11:14.706 [SPEAKER_00]: It's 11:15.387 --> 11:20.969 [SPEAKER_00]: the world's turn to repay me and to do good by me, I've done enough good for the world around me. 11:21.009 --> 11:22.489 [SPEAKER_00]: So how do I actually start to get that? 11:22.549 --> 11:28.131 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, first and foremost, let's look at the framing because sometimes you've got to go start from the beginning from the lesson. 11:28.671 --> 11:31.352 [SPEAKER_00]: The framing of why this is important in the first place. 11:31.972 --> 11:37.554 [SPEAKER_00]: because it is dramatically different in the Islamic conception than it is in our secular conception today. 11:38.014 --> 11:41.415 [SPEAKER_00]: In an era of hyper individualism, everything is done. 11:41.636 --> 11:45.097 [SPEAKER_00]: Everything that you do is so that you can make yourself a happier person. 11:45.717 --> 11:54.220 [SPEAKER_00]: Meaning you engage acts of charity, not to the extent that that charity is needed to support someone else's cause or to get some, some other cause over the hump. 11:54.680 --> 11:58.842 [SPEAKER_00]: You do enough acts of charity to where you feel good about yourself being a charitable person. 12:00.208 --> 12:12.516 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't engage acts of prayer or devotion or service to where they're required of your obligatory upon you, you do them to the extent that they can fit into this perfect puzzle to make you the most fulfilled and happy person. 12:14.197 --> 12:14.777 [SPEAKER_00]: Still greed. 12:16.378 --> 12:18.320 [SPEAKER_00]: It just has nicer aesthetics. 12:19.760 --> 12:26.985 [SPEAKER_00]: It's still self-serving, it's just serving the self in a different way, using others to serve self, not using self to serve others. 12:27.786 --> 12:29.447 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not the Islamic conception of it all. 12:30.505 --> 12:33.907 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to tell you that budget is going to make you happier in the day for you to do it. 12:33.947 --> 12:34.968 [SPEAKER_00]: It's obligatory upon you. 12:35.228 --> 12:36.769 [SPEAKER_00]: This is a cat as a obligatory upon you. 12:37.429 --> 12:38.510 [SPEAKER_00]: These things are mandatory. 12:38.570 --> 12:40.291 [SPEAKER_00]: So the basic courtesy is good. 12:40.572 --> 12:43.914 [SPEAKER_00]: These are things that Allah has a obligatory made obligatory upon you. 12:44.454 --> 12:45.635 [SPEAKER_00]: And it starts from that place. 12:45.755 --> 12:50.398 [SPEAKER_00]: And yes, from the mercy of Allah, is that good deeds make you feel good too. 12:51.535 --> 12:53.776 [SPEAKER_00]: They bring about more fulfillment and goodness in life. 12:53.836 --> 12:56.077 [SPEAKER_00]: But you got to start from that place, not from the place. 12:56.117 --> 13:03.340 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to engage spirituality and religion only to the extent that I feel better about myself. 13:04.200 --> 13:05.041 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not how it works. 13:06.281 --> 13:08.542 [SPEAKER_00]: That's why activism becomes very performative. 13:09.582 --> 13:15.745 [SPEAKER_00]: Let me go take place in this protest and catch a selfie on the protest and say, yeah, free cash media, cash media still under occupation. 13:17.195 --> 13:17.975 [SPEAKER_00]: What's your next step? 13:18.375 --> 13:21.896 [SPEAKER_00]: But I feel good about myself, because I went and shouted a bunch of slogans about Kashmir. 13:21.976 --> 13:22.676 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm didn't know, brother. 13:22.716 --> 13:23.176 [SPEAKER_00]: Good for you. 13:23.196 --> 13:24.516 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad you went to the protest. 13:25.796 --> 13:27.137 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you making do out for them at night? 13:28.697 --> 13:32.718 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you trying to think about avenues of way to actually rectify the situation? 13:33.678 --> 13:37.839 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's, it's you engaged things to the, just to the extent that I feel good. 13:38.379 --> 13:39.099 [SPEAKER_00]: I press share. 13:40.019 --> 13:42.659 [SPEAKER_00]: I am, uh, low on social media. 13:43.720 --> 13:45.240 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, wait a minute. 13:45.520 --> 13:46.080 [SPEAKER_00]: Start from here. 13:47.530 --> 13:50.151 [SPEAKER_00]: The Islamic conception is actually the opposite. 13:50.852 --> 13:55.094 [SPEAKER_00]: It's how do I become the most able-abbed to Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'ara? 13:56.335 --> 13:58.556 [SPEAKER_00]: And the most beneficial chadim to the people. 13:58.936 --> 14:04.819 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I become the most able servant to Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'ara? 14:04.839 --> 14:09.301 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I become the most obedient worshiper, the most complete worshiper to Allah? 14:09.762 --> 14:12.403 [SPEAKER_00]: And also the most beneficial servant to the people. 14:13.001 --> 14:20.149 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I find how do I fulfill self to a point that I can get to a point where I'm doing the best in those regards? 14:21.851 --> 14:22.511 [SPEAKER_00]: See the difference? 14:22.852 --> 14:25.715 [SPEAKER_00]: It literally is the complete opposite. 14:26.015 --> 14:31.581 [SPEAKER_00]: In the first conception, you try to fit others into the pieces that fit yourself. 14:32.943 --> 14:34.044 [SPEAKER_00]: In the second conception, 14:35.077 --> 14:40.344 [SPEAKER_00]: You try to put yourself in the best place to work for something that's bigger than you. 14:41.285 --> 14:47.233 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's the one that Allah and the messenger, Salallahu alaihi wa salam, call us to and it speaks to goal. 14:47.834 --> 14:50.797 [SPEAKER_00]: It speaks to goal that you involve yourself in goodness. 14:51.438 --> 15:02.368 [SPEAKER_00]: not to the extent that it fulfills you but to the extent that it's needed and you try to get yourself to a place that you need to be to be able to do all of that good and to have that capacity to take on those things. 15:02.688 --> 15:09.595 [SPEAKER_00]: There's an example that they have in self-care now talking about self-care about why you need to take care of yourself to be able to take care of others. 15:09.935 --> 15:10.616 [SPEAKER_00]: It's often used. 15:10.676 --> 15:11.757 [SPEAKER_00]: They talk about the airplane. 15:12.985 --> 15:29.571 [SPEAKER_00]: If any of you have ever been on a plane, and they announce the emergency procedures and protocols, and you have not already fallen asleep or started to watch a movie or whatever it is, they tell you that before you put your oxygen mass on your children, put it on yourself first. 15:30.311 --> 15:32.552 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not because they want your children to die. 15:33.692 --> 15:37.853 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not because they're telling you, hey, you know, this is so, you're more important than your children. 15:37.873 --> 15:42.075 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not the message here, but they're not going to explain the muxud, the objective of that. 15:43.062 --> 15:44.163 [SPEAKER_00]: on a plane video. 15:44.843 --> 15:45.603 [SPEAKER_00]: What is that for? 15:46.804 --> 15:51.626 [SPEAKER_00]: It's because if you don't put it on yourself first and all likelihood, you're not going to get it on your child on time. 15:52.766 --> 15:57.108 [SPEAKER_00]: And so you won't be in a place that you're functioning enough to be able to save yourself or the child. 15:57.208 --> 16:03.631 [SPEAKER_00]: And so you'll have a bunch of people frantic acting frantic on the plane as opposed to actually trying to do what they need to do. 16:04.271 --> 16:05.411 [SPEAKER_00]: Is this Islamic? 16:05.551 --> 16:05.811 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 16:06.912 --> 16:07.972 [SPEAKER_00]: Cool and Fusekum? 16:08.152 --> 16:09.133 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, at Niko Nama. 16:10.448 --> 16:12.990 [SPEAKER_00]: Protect yourselves and your families. 16:14.211 --> 16:14.932 [SPEAKER_00]: From Jehannam. 16:15.612 --> 16:19.115 [SPEAKER_00]: Protect your family, protect yourselves and your families. 16:19.896 --> 16:20.636 [SPEAKER_00]: A Hanikumnawa. 16:21.377 --> 16:23.438 [SPEAKER_00]: Why does Allah mention yourself first? 16:23.498 --> 16:28.543 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you cannot prescribe these things on your family and take care of family if you're not taking care of yourself. 16:28.603 --> 16:30.364 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a spiritual level of this too, by the way. 16:30.804 --> 16:34.707 [SPEAKER_00]: You want your children to become her father, but you're not even attempting to finish just Arma. 16:36.949 --> 16:37.510 [SPEAKER_00]: What's the point? 16:39.169 --> 16:41.730 [SPEAKER_00]: What are you doing for self so that you can do for your kids too? 16:42.670 --> 16:45.071 [SPEAKER_00]: You got to protect yourself and protect your children. 16:45.191 --> 16:52.673 [SPEAKER_00]: You've got to take the spiritual necessities for yourself and then embark that upon or impart that upon your children as well. 16:53.033 --> 16:54.513 [SPEAKER_00]: Embark on that journey together. 16:55.053 --> 16:57.574 [SPEAKER_00]: You can't do it for them if you're not doing it for yourself. 16:58.214 --> 17:04.236 [SPEAKER_00]: You cannot protect your spouse or involve your spouse or involve your children, involve your siblings or everyone else around you. 17:04.916 --> 17:10.181 [SPEAKER_00]: If you're not doing for yourself, so I'll ask him how to add a mentions a conception of this as well. 17:10.501 --> 17:12.182 [SPEAKER_00]: Falk of the shay, la yorathli. 17:13.143 --> 17:16.646 [SPEAKER_00]: That the one who does not give, who does not have, la yorathli, he cannot give. 17:16.766 --> 17:18.468 [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't have something, you can't give it. 17:19.008 --> 17:26.315 [SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, you give, give, give and you're so depleted that you frustrate the people who now have expectations of you. 17:27.657 --> 17:30.980 [SPEAKER_00]: And you deplete yourself in the process to where you no longer have anything. 17:31.700 --> 17:34.082 [SPEAKER_00]: And so you burn out, and they burn out too. 17:34.842 --> 17:37.124 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's a bad situation for everybody. 17:37.404 --> 17:38.585 [SPEAKER_00]: Same thing with Sadha, right? 17:38.625 --> 17:41.707 [SPEAKER_00]: You can't give to a point that you ruin yourself. 17:42.268 --> 17:45.690 [SPEAKER_00]: Allah does not tell you to give charity and put yourself in debt. 17:46.391 --> 17:48.473 [SPEAKER_00]: Allah tells you, take care of your debts and give charity. 17:49.612 --> 17:53.933 [SPEAKER_00]: Get yourself to a place of financial self-sufficiency and give charity as well. 17:54.153 --> 17:58.634 [SPEAKER_00]: And your charity is proportional to that, because you've got to be in a place to where you can give to others. 17:59.034 --> 18:00.734 [SPEAKER_00]: All of these things matter. 18:00.794 --> 18:02.275 [SPEAKER_00]: They're all interconnected. 18:02.875 --> 18:06.616 [SPEAKER_00]: A lesson for the Prophet ﷺ mentions this balance, even in worship. 18:07.816 --> 18:11.657 [SPEAKER_00]: In our day, you don't worship until you exhaust yourself or burn yourself out. 18:12.744 --> 18:18.906 [SPEAKER_00]: And there's something very beautiful about this that the Prophet ﷺ taught us to see sleep as Aiba, that to sleep as part of worship, not just as an enabler of worship. 18:18.966 --> 18:20.806 [SPEAKER_00]: To see sleep itself as a form of worship. 18:20.826 --> 18:20.886 [SPEAKER_00]: Why? 18:20.926 --> 18:22.627 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're sleeping so you can do better in your wakefulness. 18:23.727 --> 18:23.827 [SPEAKER_00]: Why? 18:23.847 --> 18:26.368 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're sleeping so you can do better in your wakefulness. 18:26.488 --> 18:26.728 [SPEAKER_00]: Why? 18:26.828 --> 18:29.909 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're sleeping so you can do better in your wakefulness. 18:30.949 --> 18:31.189 [SPEAKER_00]: Why? 18:31.209 --> 18:32.990 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're sleeping so you can do better in your wakefulness. 18:33.010 --> 18:33.130 [SPEAKER_00]: Why? 18:33.150 --> 18:34.650 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're sleeping so you can do better in your wakefulness. 18:34.670 --> 18:34.750 [SPEAKER_00]: Why? 18:34.770 --> 18:36.411 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're sleeping so you can do better in your wakefulness. 18:37.276 --> 18:42.698 [SPEAKER_00]: I seek the reward for my sleep, the same way that I seek the reward for my standing up and prayer at night. 18:42.938 --> 18:43.978 [SPEAKER_00]: They're both for Allah. 18:45.038 --> 18:50.340 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sleeping to give myself the energy to do good at night, to stand up and pray at night. 18:50.480 --> 18:56.662 [SPEAKER_00]: I have that intention when I go into my sleep that this is to build my capacity to worship Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. 18:57.756 --> 18:58.456 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a ybada. 18:58.976 --> 18:59.617 [SPEAKER_00]: It's worship. 19:00.157 --> 19:02.018 [SPEAKER_00]: It's sinna, self care. 19:02.858 --> 19:05.039 [SPEAKER_00]: And so how do you equate that done? 19:05.219 --> 19:08.980 [SPEAKER_00]: If that's how you deal with your ybada, how do you then equate that to your amma? 19:09.080 --> 19:15.642 [SPEAKER_00]: So in worship, anything that you do to make yourself more able at worship is worship itself, right? 19:16.503 --> 19:16.743 [SPEAKER_00]: So then 19:18.216 --> 19:19.737 [SPEAKER_00]: cast that on everything else in life. 19:20.038 --> 19:21.939 [SPEAKER_00]: And he mentioned it in a josee, you're talking a whole lot to Alah. 19:22.880 --> 19:32.187 [SPEAKER_00]: He said that when you do something that is merely halal to enable you to do something that is mandub, which is recommended. 19:32.247 --> 19:36.271 [SPEAKER_00]: So when you engage in something that is merely permissible, there's no haramana. 19:37.011 --> 19:43.297 [SPEAKER_00]: You do some form of action that is merely permissible so that you can be better at doing something 19:44.210 --> 19:44.790 [SPEAKER_00]: That is good. 19:45.490 --> 19:47.511 [SPEAKER_00]: Or you can abstain from something that's forbidden. 19:47.571 --> 19:59.193 [SPEAKER_00]: So you take up a halal habit, or a halal pastime, or a leisure, or whatever it is, to abstain from something that's forbidden, or to get you to a place where you can do more good. 20:00.393 --> 20:00.673 [SPEAKER_00]: All right? 20:01.073 --> 20:09.994 [SPEAKER_00]: So he said, Rahlim Allah to do something merely halah, for the sake of being able to do more of man-dood becomes man-dood in and of itself. 20:10.415 --> 20:12.475 [SPEAKER_00]: It becomes a rewardable act in and of itself. 20:13.873 --> 20:29.325 [SPEAKER_00]: When I do quote unquote self-care, for the sake of being better at something else, that act itself is rewardable on the side of a loss of Hanohotan, because I made sure that it complied with halal with things that are good and permissible and lawful. 20:29.365 --> 20:35.490 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't indulge in forbidden things, so that I could get myself to a point where I've got more to give to people. 20:36.840 --> 20:43.053 [SPEAKER_00]: Because if I'm not taking that time off to mentally refresh, emotionally refresh, physically get my place to it. 20:43.093 --> 20:45.017 [SPEAKER_00]: So yes, your workout to Hala. 20:46.192 --> 20:50.913 [SPEAKER_00]: Not necessarily all the Instagram videos of you working out, but your workouts are hell out. 20:51.733 --> 21:05.016 [SPEAKER_00]: Getting to a place of where you're healthy, why am I physically healthy, why am I mentally healthy, why am I emotionally trying to be healthy so I can give more to my family so I can do more for the community, all of that in the capacity of being a better app, all of that becomes sunna. 21:05.676 --> 21:09.577 [SPEAKER_00]: All of that becomes rewardable in the sight of a loss of Hannah O'Toole with the right intention. 21:09.777 --> 21:12.678 [SPEAKER_00]: It's analogous to sleep and praying at night. 21:13.818 --> 21:17.440 [SPEAKER_00]: And notice more, I have did not distinguish between the Qiyam and the sleep. 21:18.361 --> 21:26.145 [SPEAKER_00]: They are in the same category because Allah, Allah, is not increased or decreased by the amount of your output. 21:27.506 --> 21:30.968 [SPEAKER_00]: Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala requires of you the best effort. 21:31.048 --> 21:35.331 [SPEAKER_00]: And when they're both in the capacity of the effort, they're both just as rewardable. 21:36.217 --> 21:48.950 [SPEAKER_00]: So taking your time out, allocating some time to work on yourself, physically, emotionally, mentally, taking care of all of that, to make you more able to build capacity, that in and of itself becomes soon enough. 21:49.851 --> 21:51.253 [SPEAKER_00]: The exercise of gratitude. 21:52.811 --> 22:03.155 [SPEAKER_00]: Subhanallah, if you go to any one of these things on what's called compassion fatigue, you burn out and they talk about people that lose the luster of life and they no longer can see anything. 22:03.695 --> 22:08.497 [SPEAKER_00]: All of them, all of them include as a core element, literally gratitude exercises. 22:08.537 --> 22:12.878 [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to lost Subhanallah to add a say in the Quran, what an inshaqab to them. 22:13.599 --> 22:14.419 [SPEAKER_00]: That is identical. 22:15.443 --> 22:17.623 [SPEAKER_00]: If you are grateful, I will increase you. 22:18.263 --> 22:22.584 [SPEAKER_00]: And Allah did not limit the capacity of what the increase is in. 22:23.044 --> 22:24.325 [SPEAKER_00]: So don't limit it yourself. 22:25.205 --> 22:28.785 [SPEAKER_00]: Allah did not say if you increase in gratitude, Allah will increase you in faith. 22:29.405 --> 22:34.286 [SPEAKER_00]: Allah did not say if you increase in gratitude, Allah will increase you in wealth or increase you in health. 22:34.486 --> 22:37.987 [SPEAKER_00]: Allah left it unlimited because the potential of it is unlimited. 22:39.487 --> 22:44.108 [SPEAKER_00]: The potential of what comes out of a person sitting with himself 22:45.298 --> 22:54.401 [SPEAKER_00]: in a regular, in a regularly prescribed time of the day or the week, to think about what they're grateful for and to actually contemplate their blessings. 22:56.102 --> 23:00.544 [SPEAKER_00]: What comes out of that is unlimited in His capacity. 23:02.264 --> 23:06.886 [SPEAKER_00]: To get argued, that's the Prophet ﷺ's capacity, the secret of His capacity. 23:07.646 --> 23:09.707 [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I've been shakura. 23:10.752 --> 23:16.137 [SPEAKER_00]: It could stand up and pray at night and pray at night and pray at night and pray at night and do things that other people could not do. 23:16.257 --> 23:17.959 [SPEAKER_00]: Stand longer than everybody else. 23:18.540 --> 23:19.721 [SPEAKER_00]: Out of worship, everybody else. 23:19.741 --> 23:20.241 [SPEAKER_00]: But what is it? 23:21.543 --> 23:22.504 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a grateful servant. 23:22.544 --> 23:26.768 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just trying to be grateful for all the things that'll allow us to pass out of the stodopond me when you sit with yourself. 23:26.808 --> 23:29.691 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking about, you know, having to do that quickly. 23:29.711 --> 23:34.736 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm talking about like actually taking time out and to sit with yourself at night and to say, you know, one of my grateful for me. 23:35.442 --> 23:37.124 [SPEAKER_00]: What are the things that I'm grateful for in my life? 23:37.364 --> 23:40.588 [SPEAKER_00]: What are the things that I should take a lot of time out of for? 23:40.708 --> 23:48.838 [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't do that, you will be miserable, always complaining, always unhappy, always depleted, always diminished, even if a log gives you everything. 23:49.779 --> 23:52.462 [SPEAKER_00]: Always going to be upset, always going to be bitter. 23:53.501 --> 23:59.563 [SPEAKER_00]: So you increase your capacity with gratitude and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, made that argument limited. 23:59.983 --> 24:06.365 [SPEAKER_00]: When we talk about celebrating your wins, that as human beings we need to find that we're actually doing something meaningful. 24:06.545 --> 24:11.866 [SPEAKER_00]: One of the prophets on Allah Almighty who was telling them to say, that ta'ahi r-Rahmani r-Rahru fi shay'a, don't be little good deeds. 24:12.466 --> 24:18.368 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, he said, Allah Almighty who was telling them, he does sa'r-ratqah s-salatqa wa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s-salatqa s- 24:18.568 --> 24:22.389 [SPEAKER_00]: If your good deeds make you happy and your bad deeds make you sad, you're a believer. 24:22.689 --> 24:23.950 [SPEAKER_00]: That means your heart is alive. 24:24.510 --> 24:26.310 [SPEAKER_00]: If when you do something good, you feel better. 24:26.751 --> 24:28.651 [SPEAKER_00]: And when you do something bad, you feel worse. 24:30.252 --> 24:31.792 [SPEAKER_00]: That means there's e-man in your heart. 24:31.832 --> 24:32.812 [SPEAKER_00]: There's faith in your heart. 24:32.873 --> 24:34.073 [SPEAKER_00]: That means your heart's alive. 24:35.196 --> 24:35.977 [SPEAKER_00]: That's a good thing. 24:36.397 --> 24:39.079 [SPEAKER_00]: It's when you become prideful and boastful over your good deeds. 24:39.539 --> 24:40.840 [SPEAKER_00]: That it becomes problematic. 24:41.500 --> 24:43.322 [SPEAKER_00]: But we need to feel that as human beings. 24:43.362 --> 24:52.268 [SPEAKER_00]: So when people look at every good effort and they diminish it, how many times have you seen that people who diminish good efforts actually have an alternative good efforts? 24:53.989 --> 24:57.351 [SPEAKER_00]: How many times do naysayers provide an alternative? 24:57.731 --> 24:58.192 [SPEAKER_00]: They don't. 24:59.752 --> 25:01.593 [SPEAKER_00]: They depress you and they depress themselves. 25:01.673 --> 25:07.217 [SPEAKER_00]: Mancala, Hala, Camas, Fahua, Hala, and the Prophet ﷺ said whoever says people have no hope, they've all perished, they're done. 25:07.898 --> 25:09.639 [SPEAKER_00]: He's the most worthless of them all. 25:10.700 --> 25:13.302 [SPEAKER_00]: You make everybody else worthless, you make yourself worthless. 25:13.362 --> 25:15.944 [SPEAKER_00]: No, as people we need to feel like we're making strides. 25:16.883 --> 25:22.324 [SPEAKER_00]: So look at your wins, look at your victories, just don't become complacent with them, or proud as a result of them. 25:23.124 --> 25:30.186 [SPEAKER_00]: When they talk about personal boundaries in this idea of protecting yourself, the Prophet ﷺ had that as well. 25:31.927 --> 25:39.768 [SPEAKER_00]: As giving of a person as the Prophet ﷺ was to the community around him, when the messenger of Allah ﷺ entered his home, that was it, it was just him. 25:40.929 --> 25:41.969 [SPEAKER_00]: It was just his family. 25:42.609 --> 25:46.230 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's why the people would call out to him from beyond the Hujrat. 25:47.073 --> 25:52.196 [SPEAKER_00]: beyond his doors and ask him to come out and probably come out because once he was home, he was home. 25:53.616 --> 26:04.362 [SPEAKER_00]: So the Prophet said some knew how to set those boundaries in order to make those things most useful and lastly dear brothers and sisters to come back to this. 26:05.682 --> 26:07.983 [SPEAKER_00]: This is not just a prescription for you. 26:09.024 --> 26:12.085 [SPEAKER_00]: This is a prescription for everybody around you as well. 26:13.766 --> 26:14.427 [SPEAKER_00]: Too often, 26:15.490 --> 26:22.634 [SPEAKER_00]: We want that self-care and that space for ourselves to be able to build our emotional health and our compassion and I need to get better. 26:22.674 --> 26:26.236 [SPEAKER_00]: I need this time for myself, but we don't afford the same things to our spouses. 26:28.177 --> 26:28.897 [SPEAKER_00]: They need that too. 26:30.418 --> 26:35.441 [SPEAKER_00]: They need that feeling of meaningfulness and that feeling of capacity and refreshment and all of that too. 26:35.841 --> 26:36.842 [SPEAKER_00]: Brothers and sisters. 26:37.917 --> 26:56.707 [SPEAKER_00]: A beautiful narration of Ahi Shadwal the Allahuan and the Prophet ﷺ, where the Prophet ﷺ asked Ahi Shup permission to go pray Fiyamul al-Lil early in the night, because he used to ati his ﷺ spend a dedicated time with her and the Prophet ﷺ would sleep and then he'd wake up and pray. 26:56.948 --> 27:06.433 [SPEAKER_00]: But this time he told Ahi Shadwal the Allahuan as soon as he hit the bed he said, you know, would you give me permission to go and spend some time with my Lord? 27:08.205 --> 27:09.467 [SPEAKER_00]: Me, I want to start my p.m. 27:09.507 --> 27:09.947 [SPEAKER_00]: right away. 27:10.007 --> 27:10.708 [SPEAKER_00]: He asked permission. 27:10.748 --> 27:11.809 [SPEAKER_00]: I leave his Salat with Salam. 27:12.090 --> 27:13.832 [SPEAKER_00]: And I each told the Allah, I'm her responded. 27:13.872 --> 27:15.914 [SPEAKER_00]: She said, Listen, I love your companionship. 27:17.056 --> 27:18.738 [SPEAKER_00]: But I love what makes you happy. 27:18.758 --> 27:21.761 [SPEAKER_00]: SubhanAllah, it makes you happy. 27:21.982 --> 27:22.803 [SPEAKER_00]: This is good for you. 27:22.883 --> 27:25.986 [SPEAKER_00]: This is what you need right now to understand. 27:27.138 --> 27:29.779 [SPEAKER_00]: So she told the Prophet's life to go ahead. 27:30.240 --> 27:38.844 [SPEAKER_00]: And she said, this was the most amazing thing I ever saw of the Prophet ﷺ. And she was asked, the most adjeeb thing, the most wondrous thing she ever said. 27:38.884 --> 27:41.965 [SPEAKER_00]: She said, his whole life was Adam, was wondrous. 27:42.005 --> 27:45.247 [SPEAKER_00]: But this night, he stood up and he prayed the entire night. 27:46.387 --> 27:55.992 [SPEAKER_00]: Recycling enough he helped his Samawati while Al-Arghwachtilah, the lady when Naha'ar wa l-Fulqqilati, Tejjiri Filbah, the name of your man, Al-Nas, the long ayan, Sultan Bukhar, about contemplating on the heavens and the earth. 27:57.021 --> 27:58.723 [SPEAKER_00]: And he cried and cried and cried and cried. 27:59.044 --> 28:00.565 [SPEAKER_00]: But look at the pretext to that. 28:01.407 --> 28:04.691 [SPEAKER_00]: The Prophet ﷺ showed consideration like, look, this is your time. 28:04.771 --> 28:08.676 [SPEAKER_00]: And ah, he shall be allowed and have prioritized, said, I know you need this. 28:09.857 --> 28:10.638 [SPEAKER_00]: I know you need this. 28:11.339 --> 28:15.064 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, brothers and sisters, it'd be good for us to need more piano in our lives. 28:17.032 --> 28:24.956 [SPEAKER_00]: But if your spouse is not having that time and having that moment, then it's going to be a depletion for them, a depletion for you, a depletion in the whole household. 28:24.996 --> 28:28.197 [SPEAKER_00]: You've got to negotiate that with each other and show that consideration for each other. 28:29.598 --> 28:32.539 [SPEAKER_00]: Your leaders, and will lie, I'm not talking about myself. 28:35.309 --> 28:40.134 [SPEAKER_00]: Why do we beat up our e-mums and not give them that time that they need for themselves? 28:40.174 --> 28:41.035 [SPEAKER_00]: They have families too. 28:41.636 --> 28:45.020 [SPEAKER_00]: Your volunteers that you're a misogid, that get abused. 28:45.220 --> 28:46.882 [SPEAKER_00]: They need their spiritual time as well. 28:47.747 --> 28:56.894 [SPEAKER_00]: Your volunteers and your organizations, you need to give people that chance to be able to grow, and that's to the benefit of the community, because everyone has to have that capacity. 28:57.375 --> 29:08.924 [SPEAKER_00]: So we ask a lot to make us more complete as a result of him, as slaves and worshipers of him, and more complete as a harem, as servants, to his creation. 29:08.964 --> 29:13.908 [SPEAKER_00]: We ask a lost part to accept it all and to protect us from burnout and to protect us from isolation. 29:14.668 --> 29:26.233 [SPEAKER_00]: And to allow the best of our deeds to be reserved for the last of our days, and the best of our days to be the day that we meet Him, Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, with those deeds qualified for His mercy.