[SPEAKER_01]: Shut the box.
[SPEAKER_01]: Shut the box next time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks.
[SPEAKER_04]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Try again.
[SPEAKER_04]: Sleeping with a married co-worker with a seventeen year age gap.
[SPEAKER_04]: Why she got to be doing this?
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a rumor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Allegedly.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's so bad.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, my heart just sank into my butt.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's so bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hi guys.
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back.
[SPEAKER_01]: So this is an extra special episode of Match Made.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're welcome.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're doing a big Q&A episode that we've always talked about doing and we haven't done where we just answer your questions and hear from you guys.
[SPEAKER_04]: Would the people have been asking?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what do you think about that producer?
[SPEAKER_01]: I just kind of took Adam's job.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, I think it's good.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think the people have been asking for this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like you guys, you know, you've asked and we're answering.
[SPEAKER_04]: Do you hear this aggressive phone ringing in the background though?
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a pharmacy.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was going to say, don't keep all the landline trends.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a pharmacy.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're constantly getting buzz.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's so funny.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they have a landline.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, should we start with some questions?
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we should.
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you think Colby?
[SPEAKER_01]: I think so.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're turn.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is my turn.
[SPEAKER_04]: Go for it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, come back to another episode of Match of Amin Hatten with Katie Colby and Adam.
[SPEAKER_01]: Adam just took the biggest of water.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was so thirsty girl.
[SPEAKER_04]: How easy.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're better now.
[SPEAKER_04]: We are better now.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, this is an easy question to kick us off.
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's about ring shopping.
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so I think you guys will have interesting opinions on this.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I don't think we've talked about this in quite a while if we have it all.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I think it would be kind of interesting to talk about.
[SPEAKER_04]: So this girl says, hi, y'all been listening to you guys since you started and following Katie since she was filming in high school.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, thank you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Isn't kind of funny that you were filming YouTube videos in high school and like I was just kind of like down the street from where Adam was just a busy not knowing me like living parallel lives busy making fun of me probably.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'd never meet funny.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was always supporting.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was getting bullied out the ass too.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like the story.
[SPEAKER_04]: I used to have lunch in the bathroom.
[SPEAKER_04]: I would see lunch on a toilet.
[SPEAKER_01]: We would have been such buds back then both of us getting tormented in high school.
[SPEAKER_01]: We would have been lunch in the bathroom.
[SPEAKER_04]: I literally used to eat lunch in the bathroom on a toilet because I was always I was always like friends with the girls.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was so drama.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I mean, I was too.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were, did you do that?
[SPEAKER_02]: So no, I would eat that's so sad.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know people really did that.
[SPEAKER_02]: I ate lunch with coles.
[SPEAKER_04]: I would eat my lunch with the teachers.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I don't know if that which what's sadder Well that eventually I moved from the bathroom to library, so then I would start having lunch in the library.
[SPEAKER_01]: I did that too.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, you're probably tables next to each other.
[SPEAKER_04]: Probably.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, for those listening out of and I went to high school together, but we like really weren't friends until college, which is.
[SPEAKER_04]: We like a small class.
[SPEAKER_04]: We obviously knew each other and we like had.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, I knew who we were.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were a jock.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was not a jock.
[SPEAKER_01]: You were a jock.
[SPEAKER_04]: See my issue was I was obviously in the closet and I was like friends with all the girls and so when it came to lunch I like didn't want to sit at the lunch table with all the girls and I was friends with because like then people would think I was gay and so I was like I can't see with the girls I don't want to see with the boys so not really friends with them and they kind of bully me and so I was like the only option is the toilet seat so I would just go to the bathroom
[SPEAKER_01]: The library was a great place to eat.
[SPEAKER_01]: I loved it there.
[SPEAKER_04]: There's the library ended up being a good endgame for me because then I started going to the library and then a lot of the girls that I was friends with ended up also coming to the library too.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so then I had kind of like a squad in the library and then a lot of people wanted to start coming to eat lunch in the library.
[SPEAKER_01]: You started movement.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so I basically ended up being totally fine for me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, we got you back to the question.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is an engagement ring question, so my boyfriend and I just celebrated two years together and are actually going to brilliant Earth's Sunday to look at rings.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're going to browse and learn, but I know I'll be so overwhelmed with all the options.
[SPEAKER_04]: I have a very general idea of what I want, oval, gold band, et cetera, but knowing there's a million types of struggling with the idea at the end of the day, I don't have this perfect dream ring in my head.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think I want my boyfriend to have final say.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to be involved in the process after this first browse, but curious how involved you all would want to be.
[SPEAKER_04]: Katie, would you want to go with Jack and he'd be like, sorry.
[SPEAKER_04]: Katie, would you want to go with Jack and be like, this is the dream ring I want, or would you want him to create something custom without you knowing?
[SPEAKER_04]: Would love to hear y'all's thoughts.
[SPEAKER_04]: Love ya, see ya, bye.
[SPEAKER_01]: That, did she really say that?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's adorable.
[SPEAKER_04]: I wonder, Jack, like, has his ear up to the door right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Jack, no, he's gaming.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's, he has his headset on.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's dialing.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's his headset on.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, this is such an interesting question.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wonder, like, what used, I want to like talk to our moms and like older generations of like, did people use to go ring shopping with their, I feel like that's such a new thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: yeah with like I'm talking like a couple going together and like ring shopping and then ultimately like the proposal happens like later on but like I feel like for so long it was people were only like giving like family heirlooms slash like you kind of didn't really even have a choice or a say so much in what you got and now it's like so customizable to the point where it's like
[SPEAKER_01]: kind of I totally agree with what she's saying like overwhelming because like what if you choose something and you're like and then eventually it comes to the day and you're like either just kind of upset that you know exactly what you're getting it's like you ask it's almost like when you like ask your parents for a certain Christmas present yeah and you like open it on Christmas day and like all your anti-climate
[SPEAKER_01]: You're excited to get the gift, but you know exactly what you're getting.
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's like no surprises.
[SPEAKER_01]: Whereas when we were kids, we were always like surprised, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And now they're just like less of a surprise element in our lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now that we're older.
[SPEAKER_01]: To answer the question, I think personally, I think we should all say what we would want to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would want to figure out the general shape that I want, or like a series of shapes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like sounds like she was saying like gold band in oval, which is like something that I definitely love as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Something kind of roundish.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm more of like a round-shaped person, I think.
[SPEAKER_01]: When it comes to diamond, and maybe like give a series of options, like shape wise, size wise, maybe if that's something important, and then like the band.
[SPEAKER_01]: like a few different options and then kind of defer to him to know me well enough, to know like which ones that he likes and that I would like also.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I want to point him in the right direction, but ultimately I think it's a great like test of the relationship, but will he know what I like?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, has even paying attention to the things that all like, you know, I'll be like, oh, so once I got engaged, love her ring, wink, wink.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's so funny.
[SPEAKER_04]: Katie's like creating this whole task.
[SPEAKER_04]: And we all have Jack like fails the task.
[SPEAKER_04]: She'll be just disappointed.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's also a reflection of you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Shut the box.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm excited.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Try again.
[SPEAKER_01]: Try again later.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like a magic gateball.
[SPEAKER_01]: Try again later.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, but also I think it's a reflection on the friends because I'm hoping he goes he goes right to you guys first.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, to like verify that it's something and that's fine.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think doing your research I think what you should do is make sure your boyfriend Do your listener has someone that is close to you that he could talk to about you about the ring you know just to get like final approval
[SPEAKER_04]: I think you should always go to the friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it should be like a group project.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that sounds like she's in kind of the best position.
[SPEAKER_02]: I understand that it's probably overwhelming to be in that situation and feel like you don't know what you want, but I feel like that makes it so much more exciting.
[SPEAKER_02]: And also,
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not so set in your ways that you're walking in thinking that you want one thing and then you might end up hating it and then be like, now I don't know what I want.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's nice to just be open-minded.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I do think there's a romantic element of just kind of leaving some of it up to him.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I agree as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think what I would do like if it was like happening literally right this second, I would figure out what kind of shape that I want in size and then kind of like leave the band up to him or like leave like one element of it up to him and knowing that he knows me he'll do a great job like I would know that.
[SPEAKER_04]: I honestly think I might be devils out of the kid here because I actually think I decided that I would want full control.
[SPEAKER_04]: You want full control for sure because I like I just know myself totally normal like people love like it's I just know myself and if like he just happens to kind of get it wrong like I'd be so disappointed I'd be so disappointed and I don't hide my emotions like I feel like I'm so direct so I'd
[SPEAKER_01]: Would you do it where, like, you would go with us or something and then we would be like, this is exactly what he wants to.
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, let me put you in front of my friend.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think I'd send him the rank.
[SPEAKER_04]: You would send the link.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I have a vision of exactly what I want and it hasn't wavered.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know what you want, but you send me a photo anytime you see it on your feet.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's ingrained my mind.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But that's the thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: I haven't actually tried it on.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I love the way that it looks and I think it would look good on my hand.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think this girl is in a better position to be able to go in and try everything on and be like, I like this.
[SPEAKER_02]: I like that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Whatever.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then what she actually ends up with would be its price.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, also the thing is it's like you're not
[SPEAKER_01]: married to this ring forever.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like so many people change their ring over time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, true.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you get to learn money, you do a little like, or you just maybe right now you're a gold girl and maybe one day you're gonna be a silver girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I don't know, like things change and so therefore your ring can totally change at a time too.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's not like a, you're not like, you know, it's not a done deal.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm pretty sure David Beckham has gotten Victoria Beckham.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Eight different rings at this point.
[SPEAKER_01]: over their marriage, which is gold.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you ever look up, if you ever are just wanting to see something sparkly, Google, all of Victoria Beckham's English.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's this, I saw this like mash up, like it's like a collage.
[SPEAKER_01]: You saw that on Instagram.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like all her different rings.
[SPEAKER_01]: gigantic rocks like an emerald and the ruby and she was like in a yellow diamond phase and it's just crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I love gemstones.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I would get one for an engagement ring, but I do love them.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think I want that Cartier ring that has the it's like a Cartier love ring, but it's like basically a dorned with diamonds, essentially.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so it's like all around a diamond Cartier ring and then I want like one stacked on top of it that's like either a halo of
[SPEAKER_04]: like haircut or marquee cut diamonds that are just like a circle of diamonds around my finger.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe love it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's going to be beautiful.
[SPEAKER_04]: I can't wait.
[SPEAKER_04]: So anyways, I'll send you guys a stock.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do we answer that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Her question well enough.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I think so.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, that's so exciting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you so excited?
[SPEAKER_01]: You should take a lot of pictures.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think you're just asking what our opinions would be.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I feel like we all three gave kind of like different opinions, which we can speak from personal experience.
[SPEAKER_04]: You call me an iris far away from that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think like I've gone back and forth on it because I think
[SPEAKER_01]: like I ideally would be surprised, like with what it ultimately will look like.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's kind of crazy, because typically I feel like with anything I hate surprise, like I hate, I like to be really prepared and know that I'm gonna be happy with something.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think what it comes to this, like I need to just let go and let God.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like I want my god.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I want my god.
[SPEAKER_01]: But like certain elements will be decided by me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Shape.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then like from like for everything else, I'm like if he knows me, he will get me what he.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it also was like fun to know that he had a partner.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like he made decisions too.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like not just me.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like he is a part of this.
[SPEAKER_01]: So he chose like an element of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And like because I love him, I love the ring.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's fair.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like fun to be surprised sometimes.
[SPEAKER_04]: hell that but also like if you get to run if you get to wrong he's not a box closed and try again later okay i have an interesting story for us so it's not a question it's like kind of more on the advice segment lines and the subject is advice segment sleeping with a married co-worker with a seventeen year age gap oh shit then they're done that girl
[SPEAKER_04]: Hi Katie Colby and Adam, big fan of your work and I promise the subject isn't clickbait.
[SPEAKER_04]: My closest friend at work, let's call her Emma, is sleeping with one of our co-workers who is married with three kids, let's call him John.
[SPEAKER_04]: Mind you, Emma's twenty eight and John is forty five.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm the only one in the office that knows and John does not know that I know.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm thirty if this is important information.
[SPEAKER_04]: I've only worked there for over a year, but Emma has told me that she's had a crush on this man for like five plus years.
[SPEAKER_04]: And we found out the feeling was mutual when they connected at an overnight conference mid-March.
[SPEAKER_04]: Since then, they've been, it was spicy.
[SPEAKER_04]: Since then, they've been having sex multiple times a week at her house during lunches, before work, after work, and sometimes even on weekends.
[SPEAKER_02]: She lives in the home, the marital home with the children.
[SPEAKER_04]: Why, I think it's her house.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, she's... So, no, okay, thank God.
[SPEAKER_02]: Two dicey.
[SPEAKER_04]: And she lives fairly close to the office.
[SPEAKER_04]: What's in parentheses?
[SPEAKER_04]: I should also mention that Emma had a boyfriend when this all started, but she broke up with him and kicked him out after the first time her and John slept together.
[SPEAKER_04]: The ex boyfriend never found out.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, no offense.
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, like, I'm in John kind of softly.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's my question.
[SPEAKER_02]: I also just like I'm a setting herself up to be the other woman.
[SPEAKER_02]: This guy is giving the guy in Valentine's Day who Jennifer Gardner is interested in.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm just kind of like, you know, I feel bad because it seems like Emma is your closest friend at work.
[SPEAKER_04]: But damn, like, why she got to be doing this?
[SPEAKER_04]: Not that it's her fault.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not, you know, ever the woman's fault for sure.
[SPEAKER_04]: A mutual situation.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's never only the woman's fault in this type of situation because she knows exactly what she's doing, but also he knows exactly what this guy is probably telling her that he's gonna leave his wife and he probably never will.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: They never will.
[SPEAKER_02]: How I feel?
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, so she says aside from the physical intimacy, they also have very strong feelings for each other and even exchange.
[SPEAKER_04]: I love use.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's so bad.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, my heart just sank into my butt.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's so bad.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's so bad.
[SPEAKER_04]: He says he's never felt this way about anyone else and they both admit they have a very strong connection.
[SPEAKER_04]: Do this wife and the three kids, I'm actually mortified for like this is horrible.
[SPEAKER_04]: Despite this connection, he apparently is happy and loves his wife.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: Honestly, he's been super careless with this whole thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: So it's almost like he wants to get caught, so he has an excuse to leave and be with Emma.
[SPEAKER_04]: The only major thing keeping them both from blowing up their entire lives is a John has had a vasectomy and doesn't want any kids and Emma does.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is, well, vasectomy is, yeah, can be her first.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: So she's probably holding out hope that he would reverse it.
[SPEAKER_04]: They've tried to break up like eight times, but they keep being drawn back to each other.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is like, maybe the spicy sauce.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not like the secret.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, he likes the drama.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like the lust.
[SPEAKER_04]: Obviously Emma knows the whole situation is wrong and she did start out feeling bad for his wife but the more this goes on the more I find she's becoming territorial and the more I think she's really going to get hurt.
[SPEAKER_04]: I obviously have tried to stay very judgment free about the whole thing even though I disagree with it morally but what am I going to do?
[SPEAKER_04]: Tell her it's wrong and she should stop because she already knows that.
[SPEAKER_04]: But today I gave her a hard truth and told her like I don't think you're special and if it wasn't with you.
[SPEAKER_03]: Sorry.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is hilarious.
[SPEAKER_04]: How cute.
[SPEAKER_04]: I need to just re-read that part.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, but like, you... Valley.
[SPEAKER_04]: But today I gave her a heart truth and told her, like, I don't think you're special.
[SPEAKER_04]: And if it wasn't with you, it would be with someone else.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was obviously more gentle than that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so yeah, the rest of the sentence makes more sense.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's definitely getting harder to give her advice on this.
[SPEAKER_04]: Anyways, this was more of a story, but I'd love to just hear your thoughts on the situation.
[SPEAKER_04]: As you can tell by my scattered thoughts and lack of sentence structure, I have a lot to say about this.
[SPEAKER_04]: I listen to every week, so let me know if you have any follow-up questions.
[SPEAKER_02]: I would have a lot to say about this as well, and it sounds like you can't talk about it with a lot of people, so this is a great story.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hopefully we can help you out.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like this is the kind of thing where, of course, it's hard to sit back and not want to do something about it or try to help your friend, even though she's doing this terrible thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: and but it's one of those things where like she knows that it's wrong she knows how like that it's you know it's been this often on thing for eight years like it's been tumultuous and like he has a vasectomy just want kids like she knows what she's got myself into years she said that yeah
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I know.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my life.
[SPEAKER_02]: Eight years.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing.
[SPEAKER_01]: You say will change what she is doing.
[SPEAKER_01]: She needs to decide it on her own.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so you really have, there's, you've done everything you can.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, this is the type of thing that I honestly would just not ask about it ever.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because I just wouldn't want to know anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: And honestly, she might like,
[SPEAKER_01]: I think if you stop talking to her about it or asking her about it or expressing any sort of interest in it, good or bad, she's going to start to realize, oh, I'm old news now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it wouldn't cause her to break up with them, but I feel like it's one of those things where if a kid is doing something like a parenting, if a kid is doing something bad,
[SPEAKER_01]: giving them any sort of attention like just tells them that they should continue doing that you know because they get intention and maybe that's what she's looking she wants to have this like interesting thing to come into work and talk about and be like I'm sneaking around with and if you give her like literally no attention on the matter like she might be like oh you know I don't like this is clearly not as cool as I think it is
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just shook.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's really crazy, but the fact that she's been seeking around with him for eight years, I didn't even realize that timeline when I made my opinion that he is probably inflating her ego saying he's gonna leave his wife eight years shows that's never happening.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, seriously.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it sounds like she's not interested in seeing anyone else or like finding another option, which I think away from that, not good considering she's twenty eight and like she's in her prime.
[SPEAKER_02]: But she's twenty eight.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, she's been doing this since she was twenty.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I guess.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's terrifying.
[SPEAKER_04]: This whole thing is nuts.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like so is the girl that wrote in our lovely listener is she single, does she even said was she's her deal is I think I'm not sure she didn't say her deal because it might be fun to like
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and go out and encourage her to like talk to some other people, her own age.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm also so concerned, like they've been doing this for eight years and like sneaking around a lunches and like having sex like before and after work and at lunch and like nobody's known.
[SPEAKER_04]: Nobody's known.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, God, if you want those things where everyone knows, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like it has to be.
[SPEAKER_04]: But she's saying that nobody knows.
[SPEAKER_04]: And John doesn't even know that she knows.
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it allowed?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, is this guy older?
[SPEAKER_01]: He's older, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yep, seventeen years.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, so like, I guess every company is different.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, they couldn't get in trouble, could they?
[SPEAKER_04]: For like, oh, they totally could.
[SPEAKER_01]: On the ground.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, he would get fired for sure.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't think she would get fired, I think he would.
[SPEAKER_01]: See now it's COVID-C.
[SPEAKER_01]: I watched friends and neighbors on Apple TV.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's like in the first episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like John Hamm is like, just got divorced and hooks up with this girl, his company that's younger, and then he gets fired for it pretty much.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, if you wanted to be really like really crazy, just like submitted anonymous tip to HR.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you should fuck them up.
[SPEAKER_04]: You should fuck them up.
[SPEAKER_04]: You need to be like, you need to be put down.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like why?
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god, you could send a letter to the wife.
[SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, no, I am thinking though.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, this has been going on for so long.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're half too of Ben.
[SPEAKER_02]: holiday party is or something that I would assume this guy and his wife are both in the room.
[SPEAKER_02]: I assume he's pretty senior that his wife would come to the holiday party.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, this whole timeline is insane.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, how do you keep this under wraps for eight years?
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, this makes me anxious.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, it makes me feel like it's not under wraps.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not under wraps.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like people know.
[SPEAKER_04]: People have to know.
[SPEAKER_04]: Come on.
[SPEAKER_04]: There's just no way.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think our girl needs to tell us like the down by like, it seems like people wouldn't know.
[SPEAKER_04]: I feel like
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, but do you think that maybe they're in an open relationship?
[SPEAKER_01]: The husband and wife are in an open relationship?
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know because it seems like they're like heavily sneaking around.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: But they're also clearly sneaking around for like two reasons.
[SPEAKER_04]: One is like she's seventeen years younger than him and it's work.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then two, he is a wife in three kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think if you really want this to be over like for your sanity and hers like literally submit an anonymous tip to HR.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like he needs to be stopped.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that wouldn't like ruin his marriage per se.
[SPEAKER_01]: It would just kind of like
[SPEAKER_01]: ruin his job and hers.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean this guy just like more so his right he would be more health responsible because he's the older one and stop bringing it up and then maybe she'll start questioning it and like if she says anything or it's like oh by the way you could just be like I don't I
[SPEAKER_02]: don't really want to know any more information about this because I don't agree with what you're doing.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's more of a slap in the face to be like I just don't want to hear any more about this like stop talking to me about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I love you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well the way she said like you're not special like he would do this with anyone like that's like that's a great
[SPEAKER_01]: piece of wisdom to say but also I think you to Colby's point not being interested at all anymore and hearing about it would be a slap a bigger slap in the face.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's more like I literally like don't involve me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to hear about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, that's crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's like a movie.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, it's insane.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're the friend.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's always like the friend with the voice of reason.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like my first thought is like Lily and Princess Diaries.
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you ever seen Princess Diaries?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, of course.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like me and Thermopolis and then
[SPEAKER_01]: her best friend Lily and like Mia like gets sucked up and like being, you know, being the princess and stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what that means.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like bringing things back down to earth and it's like, remember your friends, remember your real friends?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so best of luck.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's the top one.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's my craziest one ever hit our inbox again.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for for feeding us with that story.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, I have another one at shorter.
[SPEAKER_04]: This one says the subject line is mentor teacher liked me on a dating app.
[SPEAKER_04]: You read the subject line and I am literally in shock.
[SPEAKER_04]: He was also my former teacher way back in high school and I was his student teacher this past semester from February to April.
[SPEAKER_04]: I never ever got the vibe of him being into me, and I'm in shock.
[SPEAKER_04]: As he was also my high school social teacher at that's another layer of confusion.
[SPEAKER_04]: My question is, how do I move from this?
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm planning out potentially working at the same school as I had a meeting with the principal, and that went really well.
[SPEAKER_04]: And the staff slash school district is right at my alley.
[SPEAKER_04]: I won't match him back as I'm twenty-three, and he is thirty-seven, and he was my mentor.
[SPEAKER_04]: And on top of that, I just don't want to find myself in a messy situation.
[SPEAKER_04]: But I don't know.
[SPEAKER_04]: This seems so messy.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I think what her anxiety is from is obviously like this guy who works at the school that she's like wants to work at who is also her mentor.
[SPEAKER_04]: And her teacher is liking her on the dating app.
[SPEAKER_04]: And she's like, this is awkward now.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like I'm going to go to the school in this guy.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to like him back.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he like liked me.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just pretend you didn't see it.
[SPEAKER_01]: X. Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think that's the only solution.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't acknowledge.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't acknowledge, pretend you didn't see it.
[SPEAKER_01]: But also like
[SPEAKER_04]: want to creep.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I know.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, thirty seven and what?
[SPEAKER_01]: She's twenty three.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: What is it with these like?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's primate.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I just hate that like she was, he was her teacher at some point.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that's really sketchy, you know, she's really great.
[SPEAKER_01]: Technically like legal sketch.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I, this like honestly, I've been thinking about this a lot recently that like, it didn't like cross my mind at the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: But when we were in high school, they were like quite a few teachers that were really not that much older than us.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, there was like no, you can't do it in my high school.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, what happened?
[SPEAKER_02]: I think this teacher got fired.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a rumor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Allegedly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Allegedly this biology teacher.
[SPEAKER_04]: What you just said biology is so funny.
[SPEAKER_04]: Biology.
[SPEAKER_04]: Kobe was biology.
[SPEAKER_04]: biology biology biology biology we listen back I mean, I could have just been here in the college.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, maybe I said it weird, but Bios teacher was better
[SPEAKER_02]: fired because he was either just having like a flirty relationship.
[SPEAKER_02]: There were actually multiple rumors that went around about teachers and students.
[SPEAKER_02]: Which cannot be anything about a ruin vibe.
[SPEAKER_02]: Only one that resulted in a firing and I don't know.
[SPEAKER_02]: Was it true?
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if I don't know if any of it's true.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it must have been to get fired over it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It must have.
[SPEAKER_01]: There must have been.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's true.
[SPEAKER_02]: It might not have been why it was fire.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so he was just like a younger teacher and there were always girls that would like hang out after class and like during lunch and free periods like go and like chat with him yeah
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't know.
[SPEAKER_02]: Interesting.
[SPEAKER_02]: Very.
[SPEAKER_04]: We had T also.
[SPEAKER_04]: Remember our, um, it was, we were in high school and two of the teachers.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to say the last name.
[SPEAKER_04]: Mr. and Mrs. Archer.
[SPEAKER_04]: Do you know what I'm talking about?
[SPEAKER_01]: I think so, keep talking.
[SPEAKER_01]: It'll come to me.
[SPEAKER_01]: I like blacked out high school for obvious reasons.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, so these two teachers, one of them taught like social studies or whatever it was called back then, like, I don't know, AP God or something, and then the other one taught.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yes, I know who these people are.
[SPEAKER_04]: Maybe like English or something.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: And they were married for like many, many, many years.
[SPEAKER_04]: You've got science.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think you taught social studies, because I remember talking about politics in this class, and I see it in arguments with people, because I was super like, and everybody in our town super public can.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're like, same-sex marriage, it's legal.
[SPEAKER_04]: Literally everybody in our class is like, fuck the gate is so sweet.
[SPEAKER_04]: And Adam's like, I was like, you know, I think the gates are kind of cool.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm saying, look guys, it's be open-minded here, you never know what's going on.
[SPEAKER_03]: Maybe the gay should be able to get married.
[SPEAKER_03]: Maybe the same sex marriage is so bad.
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't speak from experience, but maybe we should think about it.
[SPEAKER_03]: I know nothing about it, but I think gay's are pretty cool.
[SPEAKER_03]: As you slink back in the closet.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, they were like shut the fuck up.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was like okay.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, perfect.
[SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, so they and then two were married and then all of a sudden they like were married or like weren't speaking and everybody was like what's going on?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and then it kind of came out that the Mrs. I'll just call her Mrs. Archer.
[SPEAKER_04]: Mrs. Archer had slept with a student.
[SPEAKER_04]: One of her students in English and the Mr. Archer found out.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so disgusting.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then they could put that boy's seventeen.
[SPEAKER_02]: Had to then.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, we were in high school.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, there's a huge case going around right now.
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely disgusting.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know that big high profile case about the teacher and we asked this student or a teen.
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel that there's always one.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but it's so disgusting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like what is wrong with you?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it really can control your soul.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's always the teach obviously because it's like their miners.
[SPEAKER_01]: So they don't have a say in it, but it's
[SPEAKER_01]: always the teacher being a fucking freak like it's the teacher the kid obviously like you know there's it's normal for people to be like oh that teacher's hot like I have a crush on this teacher like whatever you're hoarding your teacher forever but like if the teacher acts on it like that is so fucked up
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and it's kind of interesting because that teacher also was like my whole life is being ruined and it's like so victim card and I'm like you did this to yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're life being ruined because you ruined your own life.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you chose to sleep with mine.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, if you fucked a teenager with you, we heard thoughts like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Go to therapy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, don't like, sure you can't control your thoughts in your urges.
[SPEAKER_01]: Something's obviously wrong.
[SPEAKER_01]: So therefore you go to therapy and you hash it out with a professional and figure out what's going on.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like maybe you have trauma from something that happened in your life, which is terrible, but like that does not excuse being a literal freak.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you need help, girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's crazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so to this, is there a chance
[SPEAKER_01]: that the guy didn't recognize her on the dating app.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no way.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think she just acts as it and never acknowledges it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I think girlie's got to like, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if he ever approaches you again in some sort of like flirty manner, literally be like, you're lucky I didn't say anything the first time.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I would just be like, yeah, you were my teacher.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to cause, I don't want to cause things, like, don't do that.
[SPEAKER_04]: So funny.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's crazy.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, it's why did these old people like with the audacity?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, me and my Adam's like, I'm gonna go message a forty five year old on a dating app.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's fine when I do it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know though.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's a different trip.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're in school.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's if this guy thirty seven year old guy.
[SPEAKER_01]: once a girl in her twenties, he can get a girl in her twenties.
[SPEAKER_01]: Correct.
[SPEAKER_01]: How about not in the same school and someone used to teach?
[SPEAKER_01]: How about me?
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I mean, there's gotta be something.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think it's a super girl in his twenties.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think it's a super age-appropriate thing, like it's a big age gap, but like whatever, like you do you, it's legal, it's a bookboard, but like how about find someone else?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like,
[SPEAKER_01]: He's doing this, he's a freak.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's doing this on purpose.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's a freak.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's a freak.
[SPEAKER_04]: Guys, I think that's all we have time for today.
[SPEAKER_01]: Happy Fourth of July.
[SPEAKER_04]: Happy Fourth Growth.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well fourth is next week.
[SPEAKER_01]: When this comes out.
[SPEAKER_04]: People don't know that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, well.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, we'll be.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, they do know that because when this comes out, the fourth of July is next week.
[SPEAKER_04]: By the time we come back, we'll have two weeks of Adam's European adventures.
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, two weeks of Colby's Boston adventures and Katie will be in good old Maryland.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maryland and Jack's family is visiting.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we are with the Brits in Maryland.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's me lots.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, we're gonna have so much to talk about.
[SPEAKER_04]: We'll be along episode.
[SPEAKER_01]: And guys, we, on this note, like, send us questions, send us stories.
[SPEAKER_04]: The stories we're going to dial on me.
[SPEAKER_01]: We love to hear from you guys.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we hope that we help you with what we say.
[SPEAKER_01]: Where?
[SPEAKER_04]: With that, we can't wait to see you when we come back.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm so ready to go.
[SPEAKER_04]: I gotta get on the train to find it.
[SPEAKER_04]: I gotta go meet my husband.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's been fun.
[SPEAKER_04]: Love you.
[SPEAKER_04]: See you.
[SPEAKER_04]: Bye.