[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to another episode of the Girl's Stop Plan podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's your favorite homegirl core, yo.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here to encourage you to stop playing with your potential and start working for what you want in life and in love.
[SPEAKER_00]: Already know that I'm bringing you the information and the conversation to help you make the money and get the money You can have it all as long as you are willing to work and y'all This episode is inspired by my own Fulishness, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: I As y'all know and six weeks postpartum right now, so
[SPEAKER_00]: All of this life lessons that I'm learning in this season are through my child and just through the act of mothering.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so crazy how much I have had to raise myself or how much mothering has raised me while I'm over here thinking that I'm raising these kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: And any mothers out there, you can absolutely relate to the fact that you can be in the middle of teaching
[SPEAKER_00]: say in the words out loud and learn the lesson yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's such a crazy experience that we're literally growing as we are watching our children grow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or we should be, at least, let me say that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the other day, I wake up right in early in the morning.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I woke up before my baby woke up.
[SPEAKER_00]: So when she woke up, or when she was about to wake up, I could hear that she sounded like she was breathing funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, is it congestion?
[SPEAKER_00]: It just sounded like something was in there, whether it was a nose, a throat, something was somewhere and I felt like I could hear it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So she was making this sound and I'm like, oh no, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, let me preface this by saying, I am a worry-er, okay?
[SPEAKER_00]: So when I'm having all these conversations which are about mindset, it's because I've personally had to learn
[SPEAKER_00]: your circumstances, your situation, it all depends or what you think and how you think.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I know this because I'm such a work, so much of a warrior I've had to learn this lesson, the hard way several times.
[SPEAKER_00]: So before I had this baby, I knew obviously I'm having a baby in October, October is right at the beginning of,
[SPEAKER_00]: the winter flu season, you know, I haven't seen people talking about COVID coming back around RSV spreading, you know, through the kids at the schools.
[SPEAKER_00]: I had no of all of these things, and I know the season that we're in.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was already paranoid because
[SPEAKER_00]: If a newborn baby picks up a germ, it can have a completely different impact on a newborn than it would have on a 40-year-old or even a four-year-old, just totally different conversation.
[SPEAKER_00]: What you can do for a newborn is totally different.
[SPEAKER_00]: What a doctor can do for a newborn is totally different.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just a completely different situation.
[SPEAKER_00]: So me knowing that me also having a four-year-old that goes to school that is around
[SPEAKER_00]: Several children every single day exposed to several germs every single day They are classroom just had hand foot and mouth twice in the last like 60 days So me no one all of that and knowing that I was bringing a new warm baby into a very vulnerable Seasoned I was already paranoid.
[SPEAKER_00]: So when we wake up and I hear this
[SPEAKER_00]: unsettling sound that just sounds like congestion.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the only way I could describe it with like rattling.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm instantly paranoid.
[SPEAKER_00]: So she doesn't immediately wake up.
[SPEAKER_00]: I told Josh, she's like sleeping beauty.
[SPEAKER_00]: She can sleep through anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: It seems like.
[SPEAKER_00]: So she doesn't wake up.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I leave her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I go downstairs.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I start spiraling.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm thinking about the fact that we just went on this road trip to Orlando, thinking about the fact that she was around all her cousins, she was around, you know, friends and all of the family, people were holding her, people were breathing on her, instantly regretting going to Orlando and I'm blaming myself like you shouldn't have gone.
[SPEAKER_00]: You shouldn't have known better.
[SPEAKER_00]: You been seeing these posts like you should not.
[SPEAKER_00]: have taken that trip.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was too soon.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then I'm thinking about the fact that, you know, the boys, my kids want to be all over her.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like they love their baby sister.
[SPEAKER_00]: And mommy is like, no, please, they're back.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't breathe on it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't touch them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Keep the germs away.
[SPEAKER_00]: But they want to be all over her.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm thinking about, oh my God, I'm going to have to really keep these boys away from her now.
[SPEAKER_00]: She didn't pick up a germ.
[SPEAKER_00]: She's, you know, she has congestion.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my God,
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I'm gonna have to call my husband, my husband was at work.
[SPEAKER_00]: He is a pharmacist, so he works at the urgent care center.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm like, I'm gonna have to call him, we don't have to take this baby in.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I am spiraling.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, the intrusive thoughts are taking over.
[SPEAKER_00]: So she finally wakes up, and she's still making this sound, y'all, cause I have convinced myself like, maybe I was just paranoid, maybe I was tripping, like when I go back and get her,
[SPEAKER_00]: the sound is going to be gone.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I go back to get her, the sound is not gone.
[SPEAKER_00]: Bring her downstairs and again, I feel like I'm like pacing back and forth, literally spirally making a boy's breakfast.
[SPEAKER_00]: All of these thoughts running through my head.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a terrible mother.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've exposed my child to all of these germs, these strangers were touching her.
[SPEAKER_00]: I should not have done like I knew better.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was already having seconds.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm thinking all of these thoughts.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to have to call my husband.
[SPEAKER_00]: go have to pack up this car, take all of these kids down to the urgent care, like, this is where I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: Spirit says, look in her nose.
[SPEAKER_00]: Look in her nose, like that's what I heard.
[SPEAKER_00]: In the middle, like it interrupted my spiraling intrusive thoughts.
[SPEAKER_00]: Look in her nose.
[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all.
[SPEAKER_00]: And a baby was up on my shoulder at this point.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was holding her like up over my shoulder.
[SPEAKER_00]: I turned that baby around.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm kind of almost ashamed to say that when I turned the baby around, there was a boogie in her nose.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there was a booger in my child's nose that was obstructing the airway and causing her to breathe funny and make this congested sound.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean it was obvious why she couldn't breathe but I got it out of there and all I could do is laugh and I was just hugging her so tight and just laugh and act by self and I was literally just saying I saw it girl relax girl you got to relax like you have to calm that you have to relax because you are tripping not only are you tripping you are literally down here spiraling about
[SPEAKER_00]: just has to take a moment, take a step back and take a moment, laugh at myself first of all because how ridiculous am I?
[SPEAKER_00]: How embarrassed would I have been if I would have called my husband and then it turned out to just be a bugger and I was like, how embarrassing, but then also how often do I do this?
[SPEAKER_00]: How often do I spiral with all of these ridiculous thoughts?
[SPEAKER_00]: the worst case scenario where my mind instantly constantly goes, preparing for the worst.
[SPEAKER_00]: How often am I flooding my brain with all of this BS about stuff that could possibly be going wrong and it's literally no big deal, something so simple that I could handle in 30 seconds in 30 minutes.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm spiraling, thinking that my life is over, thinking that things are growing, thinking that it is the end.
[SPEAKER_00]: And God is like, girl, sit down somewhere.
[SPEAKER_00]: Girl, stop.
[SPEAKER_00]: in this situation, it was girl, look at her nose.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like, stop doing all of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you just relax?
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you have several seats right now?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you are spiraling, you're acting delusional.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are filling your head with all of these crazy thoughts, and it's really something so simple.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know that I'm not the only one who does this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I know that I do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember being in therapy and my therapist literally telling me, like, you got to get out of your own head.
[SPEAKER_00]: you are ruining things.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are sabotaging things.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are turning opportunities into obstacles when there doesn't have to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you don't have to make so much trouble for yourself, but you are allowing your intrusive thoughts to win.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember this being a conversation like a decade ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so clearly I'm still doing the work.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I know I'm not the only one doing this.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I wanted to bring this conversation to you and ask you to consider how often you spiral.
[SPEAKER_00]: How often you allow those intrusive thoughts to take over.
[SPEAKER_00]: How often you find yourself in your head, thinking about the worst possible scenario, thinking about everything that could go wrong, going wrong.
[SPEAKER_00]: How often have you done it?
[SPEAKER_00]: How often have you stolen your own joy?
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't even enjoy the things that you are doing in the present moment because you are spiraling about what could potentially be happening in the future.
[SPEAKER_00]: allow this episode to be a wake-up call.
[SPEAKER_00]: Allow this episode to encourage you to be intentional.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so really,
[SPEAKER_00]: take inventory of the times that you find yourself in your head.
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about what you're thinking about.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's another strategy that I picked up in therapy.
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about what you are thinking about.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you having this thought in this moment?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why did my mind instantly go to your terrible mother?
[SPEAKER_00]: You knew better.
[SPEAKER_00]: You shouldn't have done it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, why did I instantly start attacking myself?
[SPEAKER_00]: My inner dialogue is not that loving.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, you know, something else that I need to consider and I need to work through and that is something that I could be working all while I'm spending my time over here spiraling.
[SPEAKER_00]: So thinking about what you're thinking about.
[SPEAKER_00]: Considering how often you allow yourself to spiral with unrealistic, unfounded, ridiculous, silly thoughts.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're over here stressing about a problem that you don't even have.
[SPEAKER_00]: you're creating a problem for yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not only was I creating a problem for myself, I was about to create a problem for my husband.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was about to create a problem down in his job because whatever he was working on was about to be interrupted because I was allowing my intrusive thoughts to take over.
[SPEAKER_00]: So our thoughts, even though they are our own, what we do with those thoughts, the actions that are inspired by those intrusive thoughts, usually affect and impact other people.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you could literally be impacting your loved ones, your kids could be impacted.
[SPEAKER_00]: Your best to your bed, your husband, your mama could be impacted because of the intrusive thoughts that you are having.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's time for us to think about what we're thinking about.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's time for us to get out of our own ways, stop sabotaging ourselves with these crazy thoughts, these limiting beliefs.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I just have to laugh at myself a lot of times to keep from crying from the craziness.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got to laugh.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so a lot of the lessons that I am learning in this season
[SPEAKER_00]: are sponsored by Motherhood because I am in the thick of it over here.
[SPEAKER_00]: So much so that I've realized the lack of
[SPEAKER_00]: of resources that are out here for mothers that are not necessarily related to your life being, you know, like, I feel like you get resources when you're on the ropes and like life is almost over.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are not down, drag out your kids, I hungry, like that's when you get resources.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the resources that we need before we end up needing those resources is what I feel like is very limited.
[SPEAKER_00]: The village that we always seem to read about on social media, but
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I don't know too many people that are personally experiencing it.
[SPEAKER_00]: That village, like, where is that?
[SPEAKER_00]: The voice of reason, the shoulder to cry on, the person to vent to the community to say, hey, is this normal, like, before you go Google in and thinking that, you know, everybody in the house is about to die, but before you spend your time doing that, do you have a community of people with common sense who you can turn to, who are not spirally.
[SPEAKER_00]: who you can turn to and ask, okay, is this normal?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do I think about this?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you think is going on here?
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you think I should do to move forward?
[SPEAKER_00]: How can I best handle this?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that resource in my opinion is few and far between.
[SPEAKER_00]: It does exist, but it's not widely known enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I am getting back out in these streets, y'all.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I say in these streets, I'm still gonna be at my house, but I mean,
[SPEAKER_00]: Showing my face, feeling like myself, feeling okay with me and seeing these last five years, I feel like motherhood has had me on the ropes.
[SPEAKER_00]: It has had me feeling like I'm drowning.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's had me looking for a life raft of just like who am I in this season?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is life requiring of me at this time?
[SPEAKER_00]: What is this new responsibility going to require of me?
[SPEAKER_00]: Just all of the things have
[SPEAKER_00]: taking me down if I'm being honest and a lot of y'all have noticed y'all have sent the yams y'all have reached out and I appreciate that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate you noticing the difference.
[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate being seen.
[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate y'all still being here all these years later.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's literally been 10 years of podcast and so I appreciate y'all but in this new season I am being led to
[SPEAKER_00]: start using my voice in other ways outside of the podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: This podcast has absolutely become probably more therapeutic for me than it is for you all.
[SPEAKER_00]: At this point, it is my outlet, it is my opportunity to share, to teach, to, you know, just be a vessel that is my goal to allow my voice to be a vessel.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so,
[SPEAKER_00]: I am getting back into my YouTube.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have challenged myself to post new content, to go live or upload a video on YouTube every single day.
[SPEAKER_00]: This month, so 30 days of content, just to get myself back in the game, get my energy back up, get my spirit together.
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, these outlets are just as helpful and beneficial for me as they are for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you are interested in being a mom or if you are currently a mom or preparing to become a mom, I am talking all things mindset, motherhood and some money over on YouTube.
[SPEAKER_00]: So come on over, hit subscribe.
[SPEAKER_00]: There will be new content and new conversations every single day.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would love
[SPEAKER_00]: for you to join me over there if you are an entrepreneur.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm also getting back into one of the things that I have been most proud of, which has been able to use my platforms to promote my people.
[SPEAKER_00]: I truly believe one of the best ways outside of us rebuild in the Black family.
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the best ways that we can move the Black community forward is through Black business.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's through building Black wealth and entrepreneurship for most of us is the vehicle.
[SPEAKER_00]: to build that black wealth and so this month I am doing a virtual celebration of black businesses.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's called Black Holiday 2025 and if you are interested in having your business being featured, I'm using my Instagram, my YouTube and the podcast to promote businesses and I would love to promote yours.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to be featured, I will make sure I
[SPEAKER_00]: drop that link down below for you to learn more.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you are not a business owner, share this with your favorite entrepreneur who might want to be featured.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's over 250,000 people that are locked in across my platforms.
[SPEAKER_00]: that they have the opportunity to put their business in front of.
[SPEAKER_00]: So definitely tap the link below to learn more.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for tuning into this episode.
[SPEAKER_00]: And really sit with that question.
[SPEAKER_00]: Have that conversation with yourself about the times that you are in your head, the times that you are sabotaging yourself by creating a story that does not exist.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love you, got nothing but love for you,