WEBVTT 00:02.292 --> 00:11.104 [SPEAKER_05]: Welcome to the intentional fatherhood podcast where we give you a strong biblical framework and lots of practical ideas on how to live intentionally as a father and a husband. 00:11.124 --> 00:21.117 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm Brooke Moser and I'm Justin Whitmore Early and we're your host to guide you through the many roles and challenges that God is calling you to live intentionally as a father. 00:21.577 --> 00:29.548 [SPEAKER_02]: We're following a visual framework that you can check out at intentionalfatherhood.org and it's going to help you break down fatherhood into eight columns. 00:29.528 --> 00:39.486 [SPEAKER_05]: And in each one, we're going to talk about how God made you to be a father and what practical habits you can start trying today in order to live intentionally into that home. 00:39.506 --> 00:44.314 [SPEAKER_02]: So come along with us as we follow Jesus on this journey towards being more intentional fathers. 00:48.108 --> 00:50.472 [SPEAKER_05]: Welcome back to the intentional fatherhood podcast. 00:50.492 --> 00:53.076 [SPEAKER_05]: Today on the podcast, we're joined by Ruslan Katie. 00:53.597 --> 01:03.214 [SPEAKER_05]: Ruslan is a creator, commentator, and former Christian hip-hop artist who has become one of the most trusted voices at the intersection of faith, culture, and really the whole internet. 01:03.795 --> 01:10.025 [SPEAKER_05]: He's the author of a new book, Godly Ambition, unlocking the full potential of your time, talent, and treasure, and man, this is a great book. 01:10.165 --> 01:11.668 [SPEAKER_05]: I encourage you to get it. 01:11.648 --> 01:16.315 [SPEAKER_05]: Through the Ruslan podcast and his daily content, he actually reaches hundreds of thousands of people every month. 01:16.695 --> 01:19.199 [SPEAKER_05]: He's a husband, he's a father, a leader and a great hang. 01:19.800 --> 01:26.530 [SPEAKER_05]: And excited to announce for the first time right here right now that Ruslan is actually going to be joining us in person at the intentional father who retreat. 01:26.991 --> 01:29.434 [SPEAKER_05]: In Costa Mesa, California, February 19 through 21. 01:29.695 --> 01:38.668 [SPEAKER_05]: So if you have not gotten tickets, pause this, click on the link in the show notes, get those tickets now and want to let you know group rates are live. 01:38.648 --> 01:41.113 [SPEAKER_05]: any men that sign up five or more get a discount. 01:41.133 --> 01:41.855 [SPEAKER_05]: So check that out. 01:42.496 --> 01:48.469 [SPEAKER_05]: Lastly, if you could rate subscribe or even leave a comment on the podcast, that would be so helpful. 01:48.569 --> 01:50.714 [SPEAKER_05]: It really helps reach more fathers. 01:50.894 --> 01:53.460 [SPEAKER_05]: So enjoy today's conversation with Ruslan KD. 01:53.740 --> 01:56.406 [SPEAKER_05]: Welcome back to the intentional fatherhood podcast. 01:56.686 --> 01:58.851 [SPEAKER_05]: Today Ruslan KD. 01:58.966 --> 02:01.891 [SPEAKER_05]: first out to a podcast, first, first interview. 02:02.171 --> 02:04.915 [SPEAKER_00]: You, you were the first interview. 02:05.116 --> 02:10.945 [SPEAKER_00]: Man, I was gonna make an inappropriate joke, but I caught myself because we're on talking about fatherhood, fathers have self control. 02:11.325 --> 02:25.007 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh my gosh, so anybody even scrolling the podcast space is gonna know your name, they're gonna see, like dude, I've heard this name, I've seen this name all over the place, but YouTuber, huge in the music scene, 02:24.987 --> 02:49.594 [SPEAKER_05]: now and author lots of these are all the boxes that we talk about really quick to help people know like what you're about to say is not wasted it's beautiful it's lived it's from a lived experience but welcome to the show man thanks man and the outdoor podcast space is fun we're out in the spot and event together and we are outside it's where outside is the kids would say out and we're holding the mics and we're holding the mics like the kids hold the mics 02:49.574 --> 02:50.135 [SPEAKER_00]: We're doing it. 02:50.756 --> 02:55.523 [SPEAKER_05]: Do just release the book, go all the ambition, why it's okay to want to do great things for God. 02:55.904 --> 02:57.326 [SPEAKER_05]: I want to talk about that for sure. 02:57.346 --> 02:59.009 [SPEAKER_05]: And it's really sad. 02:59.029 --> 03:01.733 [SPEAKER_05]: We have to be honest, like, I called Justin and Texan. 03:01.753 --> 03:04.618 [SPEAKER_05]: I was like, bro, so Ruslan Ryan, the same space. 03:04.758 --> 03:10.327 [SPEAKER_05]: I'd love to do this interview, but it's like really hard to think about you not being there in that space. 03:10.387 --> 03:10.968 [SPEAKER_05]: How do you feel like? 03:11.589 --> 03:16.797 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to, I'm going to regret not being there, but you got to do it, have the conversation. 03:16.777 --> 03:17.298 [SPEAKER_00]: He's here in spirit. 03:17.318 --> 03:19.063 [SPEAKER_00]: But I call out to Justin. 03:19.203 --> 03:19.624 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 03:20.165 --> 03:21.128 [SPEAKER_00]: You guys are in California. 03:21.148 --> 03:25.017 [SPEAKER_00]: You got to stay and then we could do something with all three of us in person, not just in spirit. 03:25.037 --> 03:26.300 [SPEAKER_00]: Just don't play me. 03:26.340 --> 03:28.666 [SPEAKER_00]: I know the event you're going to not going name drop. 03:28.947 --> 03:29.267 [SPEAKER_00]: I know. 03:29.789 --> 03:31.413 [SPEAKER_05]: Well, yeah, well, all three of you at the same place. 03:31.453 --> 03:32.555 [SPEAKER_05]: So we'll do it. 03:32.716 --> 03:33.638 [SPEAKER_05]: Yes, that'd be real fun. 03:33.618 --> 03:36.423 [SPEAKER_05]: Um, but dude, this all starts with the story. 03:36.443 --> 03:44.917 [SPEAKER_05]: So dude, before you're a YouTuber, which people heard about this in the intro and now an author in this space of speaker, uh, your father, right? 03:44.957 --> 03:54.232 [SPEAKER_05]: Your family demand, give us like a little background a little taste of, you know, who you are, who your family is, kind of what your day to day is when you're not doing all the kingdom stuff. 03:54.252 --> 03:54.613 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 03:54.593 --> 03:58.881 [SPEAKER_00]: Ethnically Armenian, born in Azerbaijan, just north of Iran. 03:59.221 --> 04:04.711 [SPEAKER_00]: Azerbaijan is a Muslim country, Armenians are culturally Christian, that caused all kinds of tensions. 04:05.553 --> 04:16.973 [SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, me and my family and half a million other Armenians were ethnically cleansed from Azerbaijan, Baku, came to the United States right before the fall of the Soviet Union in communism. 04:16.953 --> 04:19.017 [SPEAKER_00]: subsequently my mother and father split up. 04:19.157 --> 04:20.781 [SPEAKER_00]: So I grew up in a single family home. 04:20.861 --> 04:23.626 [SPEAKER_00]: Mom's, you know, dicked the alcohol in very toxic men. 04:24.408 --> 04:33.967 [SPEAKER_00]: And struggled a lot as a kid got arrested at age 11 for breaking into houses, which is very embarrassing till this day my mom still thinks that I wasn't actually breaking in the house. 04:33.987 --> 04:34.969 [SPEAKER_00]: I was just looking in the window. 04:35.309 --> 04:38.235 [SPEAKER_00]: I sold her on that that tail. 04:38.215 --> 04:40.198 [SPEAKER_00]: It says a lot about you. 04:40.358 --> 04:41.720 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, she still believes that's all those days. 04:41.740 --> 04:45.865 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, when you got arrested for looking in a window, I was like, I wasn't looking in a window. 04:45.886 --> 04:47.307 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, she still doesn't. 04:47.327 --> 04:50.031 [SPEAKER_00]: She thinks I was just like, what does sweet mom, but I mean, is her mom with her son? 04:50.091 --> 04:51.073 [SPEAKER_05]: She wants to believe the best. 04:51.653 --> 04:53.897 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I had a pretty tumultuous childhood, man. 04:53.917 --> 04:56.460 [SPEAKER_00]: And then it kind of all culminated to, 04:57.419 --> 05:06.805 [SPEAKER_00]: In high school meeting a girl, her wanting to see me over the summer time, I wanted to see her over the summer time the only way I could see her is if I went to church with her and her family. 05:07.006 --> 05:12.441 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, even though I grew up in the Armenian Apostolic church, that was my first time like really hearing about Jesus. 05:12.421 --> 05:15.605 [SPEAKER_00]: And I kind of wrestled for the next two years. 05:15.685 --> 05:18.329 [SPEAKER_00]: Me and her were in an out of relationship and breaking up. 05:18.389 --> 05:19.911 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I was eating Jehovah's Witness girl. 05:19.951 --> 05:22.815 [SPEAKER_00]: And just this around the time of 9-11 and all that stuff. 05:22.835 --> 05:29.784 [SPEAKER_00]: And then so it took me two years of wrestling with God, with apologetics, is Jesus God, does he just egg God? 05:30.244 --> 05:30.885 [SPEAKER_00]: All the questions. 05:30.905 --> 05:32.007 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I did every rock churn. 05:32.047 --> 05:34.069 [SPEAKER_00]: And then finally, gave my life to the Lord. 05:34.089 --> 05:37.534 [SPEAKER_00]: I say like, at the beginning of my junior year. 05:37.514 --> 05:56.755 [SPEAKER_00]: got going with like teaching Bible studies and leading and all that sort of stuff, but like there was no conversations like I knew like read the Bible cool like go to church got it stop looking at porn got it don't don't don't sleep with your girlfriend got it but there was nothing 05:56.735 --> 05:58.737 [SPEAKER_00]: to help me walk that out practically. 05:58.777 --> 06:02.641 [SPEAKER_00]: There was no, what I described now in the book is like the law of replacement. 06:03.002 --> 06:04.443 [SPEAKER_00]: So you go remove and purge sin. 06:04.723 --> 06:06.205 [SPEAKER_00]: You could take the weeds out of the gardens. 06:06.245 --> 06:09.488 [SPEAKER_00]: You can kill the gulfers in the garden, but you have to replace it with something better. 06:09.929 --> 06:11.410 [SPEAKER_00]: And that wasn't really communicated to me, man. 06:11.450 --> 06:19.839 [SPEAKER_00]: So like, unfortunately, I ended up wrestling and struggling for a decade as a Christian with porn and financial issues. 06:19.899 --> 06:26.286 [SPEAKER_00]: And just, yeah, just in a pretty rough spot, in luxury shirt in the process, got married. 06:26.266 --> 06:35.741 [SPEAKER_00]: When I became a father six years into marriage that like my life got in order, you know, I was able to, we were able to get out of debt. 06:35.821 --> 06:37.063 [SPEAKER_00]: We were able to start saving. 06:37.123 --> 06:44.595 [SPEAKER_00]: I was able to, I was working as the media guy at my church and then a transition to being a full-time artist, you know, at 2015. 06:44.575 --> 07:04.170 [SPEAKER_00]: me out say I spent the first like decade of my life as a Christian really struggling and it wasn't it wasn't because there was bath theology taught the theology was great it wasn't because I didn't have community I had a great church it was bridging it into the practical like the supernatural and how do we make that super practical so that's kind of what I do now. 07:04.150 --> 07:04.671 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 07:04.691 --> 07:06.412 [SPEAKER_05]: Now, tell me about you've been married for how long? 07:06.432 --> 07:07.754 [SPEAKER_05]: 17 years. 07:07.934 --> 07:08.395 [SPEAKER_05]: Yes, sir. 07:08.475 --> 07:08.755 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 07:08.775 --> 07:09.476 [SPEAKER_00]: I think she's the one. 07:10.737 --> 07:12.419 [SPEAKER_05]: Well, you said that's right. 07:12.439 --> 07:13.100 [SPEAKER_05]: I said this morning. 07:13.280 --> 07:14.101 [SPEAKER_05]: I died laughing. 07:14.261 --> 07:15.322 [SPEAKER_05]: Couple guys missed it. 07:15.342 --> 07:15.803 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm sorry. 07:15.883 --> 07:16.524 [SPEAKER_05]: It was great. 07:16.544 --> 07:17.104 [SPEAKER_00]: My wife is great. 07:17.124 --> 07:17.885 [SPEAKER_00]: 17 years together. 07:17.905 --> 07:18.546 [SPEAKER_00]: 21 years. 07:18.586 --> 07:20.828 [SPEAKER_00]: So we're in that phase where we've been together longer. 07:20.868 --> 07:21.028 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 07:21.048 --> 07:21.589 [SPEAKER_00]: We've been apart. 07:21.749 --> 07:25.333 [SPEAKER_00]: So outside of the facts, I gave you on this, you know, podcast. 07:25.433 --> 07:31.660 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have many 07:31.640 --> 07:33.022 [SPEAKER_00]: Levi is 10. 07:33.542 --> 07:34.443 [SPEAKER_00]: He's he's awesome man. 07:34.464 --> 07:38.308 [SPEAKER_00]: So babilaids Mindcraft star wars. 07:38.328 --> 07:40.191 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, this is the best age man. 07:40.211 --> 07:43.234 [SPEAKER_00]: He's going through Chronicles and Arnea watch the movie now He's going back. 07:43.415 --> 07:50.143 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, reading the books Zoe's four going on 14 she thinks she's grown She thinks all of my friends are really her friends. 07:50.443 --> 07:57.072 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and so like force Frank will come by the house and she'd like she'll talk to force like like that That's like she probably loves his music. 07:57.092 --> 07:59.875 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, she's like how's force doing like you don't 07:59.855 --> 08:00.716 [SPEAKER_00]: That's my friend. 08:01.117 --> 08:02.719 [SPEAKER_00]: You know. 08:02.739 --> 08:05.703 [SPEAKER_00]: Like when you talk about it, to see, yes, you really think you're going there. 08:05.723 --> 08:09.048 [SPEAKER_00]: We got one baby boy on the way to a November, so super excited. 08:09.088 --> 08:09.669 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't do this. 08:09.729 --> 08:10.430 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 08:10.470 --> 08:12.713 [SPEAKER_00]: We haven't really, we don't put a lot of personal stuff online. 08:12.773 --> 08:13.254 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow. 08:13.414 --> 08:13.514 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 08:13.534 --> 08:14.215 [SPEAKER_00]: Congratulations. 08:14.235 --> 08:15.597 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's on the fatherhood positive. 08:15.617 --> 08:15.757 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 08:16.659 --> 08:17.660 [SPEAKER_05]: Your life is about to change. 08:17.700 --> 08:18.622 [SPEAKER_00]: It's about to change. 08:18.842 --> 08:19.042 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 08:19.062 --> 08:19.703 [SPEAKER_05]: Thank you. 08:19.683 --> 08:22.046 [SPEAKER_05]: Okay, so I have so many questions. 08:22.086 --> 08:22.707 [SPEAKER_05]: Congratulations. 08:22.727 --> 08:23.709 [SPEAKER_05]: That's a cool moment. 08:24.249 --> 08:27.854 [SPEAKER_05]: How do they like I got to ask how does your daughter feel about this situation? 08:27.874 --> 08:30.458 [SPEAKER_00]: She was not pumped really she wanted a little sister. 08:30.898 --> 08:31.980 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, yeah, she was there. 08:32.200 --> 08:34.363 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I say I'll say any of the video afterwards. 08:34.383 --> 08:42.655 [SPEAKER_00]: She like legit cried for Why did the gender reveal this little gender reveal science experiment my wife did and my my daughter like legit cry. 08:42.675 --> 08:43.716 [SPEAKER_00]: I said it was a boy 08:43.696 --> 08:45.521 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, with, uh, we have four kids. 08:45.661 --> 08:47.185 [SPEAKER_05]: Our world, this is a boy that made three girls. 08:47.346 --> 08:48.749 [SPEAKER_05]: But we did a similar thing. 08:48.830 --> 08:49.552 [SPEAKER_05]: We're like, fourth one. 08:49.572 --> 08:52.780 [SPEAKER_05]: We'll have the kids here and similar deal, gender reveal. 08:52.840 --> 08:53.482 [SPEAKER_05]: And it was a girl. 08:53.502 --> 08:55.989 [SPEAKER_05]: I might son, like literally just, he was sitting on the couch. 08:56.630 --> 08:58.255 [SPEAKER_05]: And then he literally, like, falls back. 08:58.295 --> 08:59.017 [SPEAKER_05]: And all this is it. 08:59.157 --> 08:59.839 [SPEAKER_05]: He's 16 now. 08:59.959 --> 09:00.220 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 09:00.200 --> 09:02.424 [SPEAKER_05]: So, you know, he really wanted a low brother. 09:02.444 --> 09:05.690 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, but he was like, you know, maybe eight or nine when this came around. 09:05.710 --> 09:06.712 [SPEAKER_05]: So he was like, he'd be so rattled. 09:06.732 --> 09:08.395 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, dude, you'd be a decade older. 09:08.515 --> 09:10.619 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, it's not even, it's not like you're going to have a little buddy. 09:10.840 --> 09:11.080 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 09:11.100 --> 09:15.248 [SPEAKER_05]: Nonetheless, a lot of ladies in our home, but, uh, anyway, grads man. 09:15.328 --> 09:15.568 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 09:15.769 --> 09:16.470 [SPEAKER_05]: But, uh, 09:17.598 --> 09:27.553 [SPEAKER_05]: this idea of ambition, this new book that came out, I know that so many of the men that listen to this, so many of the men that follow you and I think God's giving you a gift to speak to the men of the generation. 09:27.573 --> 09:28.334 [SPEAKER_05]: I really believe that. 09:28.354 --> 09:32.901 [SPEAKER_05]: I think that's a lot of people that engage in the content of YouTube in a huge way. 09:33.582 --> 09:43.437 [SPEAKER_05]: And I think this idea of ambition is beautiful, also misunderstood, 09:43.417 --> 09:52.667 [SPEAKER_05]: And so I, man, I wanted to have you on to just really actually, we have the long form in the book, which I say, everyone stop what you're doing, go to the link in the show and let's get the book. 09:52.715 --> 09:54.197 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the audio of the book isn't very long. 09:54.237 --> 09:56.980 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's like you can get through it and like two, two or three hours. 09:57.080 --> 09:58.322 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's great point five. 09:58.342 --> 09:58.522 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah. 09:58.542 --> 09:59.483 [SPEAKER_00]: Do you read it? 09:59.503 --> 10:00.444 [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, yes, I agree. 10:00.484 --> 10:01.005 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's good. 10:01.105 --> 10:01.646 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, better. 10:01.806 --> 10:02.206 [SPEAKER_00]: I have to. 10:02.607 --> 10:04.249 [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, dude, I would never farm that out. 10:04.349 --> 10:05.210 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I have somebody to do it. 10:05.250 --> 10:06.852 [SPEAKER_00]: I've roasting for all of us. 10:06.872 --> 10:07.593 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, why did you? 10:07.613 --> 10:08.074 [SPEAKER_00]: Why? 10:08.094 --> 10:08.374 [SPEAKER_00]: What? 10:08.514 --> 10:09.615 [SPEAKER_05]: Did you read it? 10:09.736 --> 10:10.496 [SPEAKER_05]: And it's not that long. 10:10.537 --> 10:12.859 [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, it probably took you well, probably took you the day and two hours. 10:13.060 --> 10:13.440 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 10:13.420 --> 10:29.202 [SPEAKER_05]: But nonetheless, like let's talk about this so I'd like to kind of ask about that tension between ambition and goddiness and what really shaped this book because I think there's a lot of men that miss like we think in a cultural Christian situation that chasing after things. 10:29.182 --> 10:34.173 [SPEAKER_05]: or wanting success or wanting to do well is actually opposite of godliness and wrong. 10:34.654 --> 10:35.456 [SPEAKER_05]: Help us understand that. 10:35.476 --> 10:39.004 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think men just need permission to go after the things that they were hardwired to do. 10:39.164 --> 10:39.364 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 10:39.384 --> 10:43.694 [SPEAKER_00]: I think there's been so much talk on toxic masculinity, there's so much obsession with work life balance. 10:44.075 --> 10:47.342 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I would argue 10:47.322 --> 11:14.983 [SPEAKER_00]: a unhealthy fixation on Sabbath and by Sabbath I don't mean take a day off sleep eight hours a day yeah spent time with your family I mean like I am going to turn my phone off for three days straight while I meditate in the morning sun and not talk to anybody and it's like dude if you're in your 50s and you've and you've worked hard and you're in your general glands are shot like you probably really need to do that but if you're in your 20s 11:14.963 --> 11:21.290 [SPEAKER_00]: like you don't need to turn your phone off for today or two days straight like you need to take one day off a week and you need to put your head down and you do work. 11:21.670 --> 11:22.651 [SPEAKER_05]: I have a question though on that. 11:23.152 --> 11:26.896 [SPEAKER_05]: Do you think that comes from a version of idealism? 11:27.276 --> 11:27.677 [SPEAKER_05]: Absolutely. 11:27.697 --> 11:31.321 [SPEAKER_05]: Like you know like we get into this ideal like I'm going to have this habit and then you've got to take it. 11:31.481 --> 11:33.103 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to have this idealized version. 11:34.004 --> 11:42.052 [SPEAKER_05]: But I mean anyway I'm just asking that question because as we're talking I'm like I think there's a lot of guys that actually it's a good thing that made into a bad thing because we put it in the wrong spot. 11:42.172 --> 11:42.793 [SPEAKER_05]: Well you know. 11:42.824 --> 11:45.511 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think like John Keith was a friend of mine dropped his gem on me. 11:45.531 --> 11:48.700 [SPEAKER_00]: He said, Tabith hinges, a Sabbath. 11:48.720 --> 11:51.949 [SPEAKER_00]: They arrest hinges on six days of hard work. 11:51.969 --> 11:52.851 [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, sir. 11:53.945 --> 11:56.269 [SPEAKER_00]: That's like guys that like are concerned about overtraining. 11:56.429 --> 11:58.212 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I thought I don't want to overtraining. 11:58.232 --> 12:01.237 [SPEAKER_00]: That's like we we've got a Before you over. 12:01.317 --> 12:02.839 [SPEAKER_00]: You got to actually go to Jim. 12:02.939 --> 12:09.410 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah five days a week six days a week before you overtraining Tell me about this though like give so with that idea, right? 12:09.530 --> 12:17.202 [SPEAKER_05]: You're talking about dudes that overdue the Sabbath piece that talk to us about like what does What does ambition or godly ambition actually look like? 12:17.182 --> 12:26.252 [SPEAKER_05]: Now in this moment right because I think you're defining what it doesn't look like in some ways But what does it look like what the what's the permission that you can give them in listening like to run after it? 12:26.472 --> 12:32.459 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, well, I think when we look at the scriptures which that's gonna be my my guidelines for everything, right? 12:32.479 --> 12:42.109 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there is a type of ambition that is absolutely forbidden in the scriptures And it's usually referred to as selfish ambition Two words in our modern day translation one word in the Greek 12:42.089 --> 12:50.424 [SPEAKER_00]: Greek is edithia, so it means a clobbering by any means necessary, get after it, dominate other people, right? 12:50.925 --> 12:56.014 [SPEAKER_00]: But there's also a different type of ambition that I think is actually echoed with what I talked about this morning. 12:56.114 --> 13:01.564 [SPEAKER_00]: Jesus, the disciples of wanting to be great, desire and greatness, and Jesus doesn't rebuke their desire for greatness. 13:01.785 --> 13:03.167 [SPEAKER_00]: He had no problem with rebuking people. 13:03.207 --> 13:03.929 [SPEAKER_00]: He rebuke Peter. 13:03.969 --> 13:04.890 [SPEAKER_00]: He rebuke the Pharisees. 13:04.930 --> 13:05.852 [SPEAKER_00]: He rebuke Judas. 13:05.832 --> 13:15.827 [SPEAKER_00]: But he doesn't rebuke their desire for greatness, he redirects it and redefines greatness, redefines greatness as service, and redirects it towards being the greatest servant of the month. 13:16.068 --> 13:19.854 [SPEAKER_00]: So actually it requires ambitions and to do marriage, right? 13:19.874 --> 13:21.696 [SPEAKER_00]: It requires ambition to do fatherhood, right? 13:21.817 --> 13:24.180 [SPEAKER_00]: It requires ambition to do home and family. 13:24.220 --> 13:27.345 [SPEAKER_00]: All of that requires a sense of drive. 13:27.786 --> 13:28.667 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, 13:28.647 --> 13:45.288 [SPEAKER_00]: In the New Testament, there's a different word for ambition when we see ambition in an NIV and it's just ambition specifically in first of Sloanians for 11, making ambition to their quiet life, working with your own hands, so that your, so you won't be dependent on anybody in your daily life when the respect of outsiders. 13:46.190 --> 13:52.998 [SPEAKER_00]: Paul said he makes his ambition a priest to gospel where others haven't, and he also says he makes it his ambition to do what pleases God. 13:53.259 --> 13:55.802 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's kind of the pillars of it, if you will. 13:55.782 --> 13:57.484 [SPEAKER_00]: That's type of ambition. 13:57.664 --> 14:04.312 [SPEAKER_00]: It's actually, and I'm going to butcher the Greek, it's filiote, philoteo meia. 14:04.552 --> 14:06.174 [SPEAKER_05]: The fact that you try this impressive, could you? 14:06.695 --> 14:13.303 [SPEAKER_00]: Philoteo is where the etymology of brotherly comes from, so like brotherly, like Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love. 14:13.683 --> 14:17.688 [SPEAKER_00]: So there's that, and then there's a, the Tamia is like the time. 14:17.708 --> 14:24.456 [SPEAKER_00]: So the etymology of the word, and this is not me, this is West Huff, who thankfully was kind enough to break this down to me while he made fun of my 14:24.436 --> 14:40.619 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a type of ambition that's a brotherly utilization of time well to say what is the time talent and treasure I'm given and how can I make the most of it not to build my castle to build God's kingdom and also provide for my family. 14:41.381 --> 14:54.139 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think sometimes we're just asking the wrong questions like we're like what if I become like too successful and it's like again like the training like you first got a train before you over train right like you first got a 14:54.119 --> 15:07.534 [SPEAKER_00]: And the standard I think in the scriptures and this is might be harsh for men to hear is in first Timothy chapter five Paul writes and he's writing about order in the church with regards to finances and resources. 15:08.034 --> 15:22.810 [SPEAKER_00]: This is in the context of that he's talking about the widows and he's saying hey there's certain widows that are young the church. 15:22.790 --> 15:29.297 [SPEAKER_00]: who have no one to care for them, the church needs to care for these what those, and then he actually adds prerequisites to it. 15:29.318 --> 15:33.122 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's interesting, it's prerequisites for charity from the church, which is a whole other kind of ones. 15:33.142 --> 15:41.051 [SPEAKER_00]: But then he says, the widows that have no family, they're supposed to be cared for by their, excuse me, that have family are supposed to be cared for by their family. 15:41.331 --> 15:51.463 [SPEAKER_00]: And then he goes on to say, for anyone that cannot provide for the needs of their family, specifically their immediate family, is worse than an unbeliever and is the faith. 15:51.815 --> 15:58.690 [SPEAKER_00]: That's really hard to hear and that's not in the context of just providing for your immediate nuclear family that's actually about providing for your inbox. 15:58.710 --> 15:59.773 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, right. 15:59.793 --> 16:01.016 [SPEAKER_00]: So we don't ship grandma off. 16:02.078 --> 16:02.238 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 16:02.258 --> 16:05.866 [SPEAKER_05]: That's got a lot of that's going to keep behind it specifically tell me more about that. 16:05.886 --> 16:08.372 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, think about it like every outside of. 16:08.791 --> 16:16.179 [SPEAKER_00]: Western American culture, which I love the West and the love of America, life is done multi-generationally, right? 16:16.199 --> 16:18.382 [SPEAKER_00]: Like your parents come to live with you when they're older. 16:18.802 --> 16:19.603 [SPEAKER_00]: You take care of them. 16:20.544 --> 16:24.488 [SPEAKER_00]: You have a community of extended family that you do life with. 16:24.929 --> 16:36.081 [SPEAKER_00]: Here, we're hyper- and individualistic, and then maybe our wife and kids, but it's like, no, no, it's broader than that in a near-eastern context, life on life. 16:36.061 --> 16:40.247 [SPEAKER_00]: Take care of your in-laws, take care of your parents, take care of right-year extended family. 16:40.527 --> 16:46.375 [SPEAKER_00]: Paul's saying, if you don't provide for them, and especially the immediate needs, you're worse than an unbeliever in the night to fade. 16:46.476 --> 17:01.917 [SPEAKER_00]: So think about how much welfare issues and entitlements and government waste and spending and programs could be mitigated if every just Christian said, I'm going to provide for the needs of my family and especially my immediate family. 17:01.897 --> 17:02.217 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 17:02.237 --> 17:03.239 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to take care of our own. 17:03.519 --> 17:05.401 [SPEAKER_00]: Like think about what that would do to change the world. 17:05.822 --> 17:08.826 [SPEAKER_00]: But that's a standard that like that's what Paul sang there. 17:09.807 --> 17:11.449 [SPEAKER_00]: I think this is very uncomfortable to hear. 17:11.529 --> 17:15.774 [SPEAKER_00]: So again, before we become over successful, how about we just reach baseline? 17:16.315 --> 17:18.117 [SPEAKER_00]: How about we just get to providing for our family? 17:18.338 --> 17:19.058 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 17:19.279 --> 17:20.761 [SPEAKER_00]: And especially our immediate family. 17:21.321 --> 17:23.664 [SPEAKER_00]: And that I think young men are struggling. 17:23.684 --> 17:25.947 [SPEAKER_00]: I think a lot of young married men are 17:25.927 --> 17:27.710 [SPEAKER_00]: Dads are like, man, this is hard. 17:27.870 --> 17:29.513 [SPEAKER_00]: So again, you need ambition to do that. 17:29.573 --> 17:30.474 [SPEAKER_00]: You can't. 17:30.494 --> 17:33.719 [SPEAKER_00]: You don't need ambition as going to cost you your soul or cost you your home. 17:33.919 --> 17:38.346 [SPEAKER_00]: But you do need a framework of godly ambition to say, how can I get after it? 17:38.547 --> 17:43.414 [SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, now that the expense of my family, but maybe at the expense of my comfort, maybe at the expense of my pleasure. 17:43.574 --> 17:43.935 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 17:43.915 --> 17:50.348 [SPEAKER_00]: average American spend seven hours a day passively consuming media on on on their phone. 17:50.368 --> 17:50.529 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 17:50.849 --> 17:51.210 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 17:51.230 --> 17:53.234 [SPEAKER_00]: So between that Flix stats for looms. 17:53.374 --> 17:53.936 [SPEAKER_05]: Staggering. 17:54.196 --> 17:54.737 [SPEAKER_00]: YouTube. 17:54.777 --> 17:55.278 [SPEAKER_00]: Seven hours. 17:55.298 --> 17:57.282 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking education and I'm not talking for work stuff. 17:57.302 --> 17:58.284 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just talking just chilling. 17:58.585 --> 17:58.846 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 17:58.866 --> 18:00.068 [SPEAKER_00]: Consuming stuff. 18:00.088 --> 18:00.349 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 18:00.369 --> 18:01.992 [SPEAKER_00]: That's almost 50 hours a week. 18:02.225 --> 18:04.067 [SPEAKER_00]: What if we just chop that in half? 18:04.288 --> 18:05.169 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you're 25. 18:05.189 --> 18:07.592 [SPEAKER_00]: And 25 hours a week you spent on developing yourself. 18:07.852 --> 18:08.513 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no. 18:08.533 --> 18:09.334 [SPEAKER_00]: Now breaking your iPad. 18:09.695 --> 18:11.877 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not about developing yourself. 18:12.438 --> 18:16.403 [SPEAKER_00]: Learning new skills becoming a bigger asset to the current employer that you have. 18:16.563 --> 18:16.964 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 18:16.984 --> 18:17.164 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 18:17.765 --> 18:17.945 [SPEAKER_00]: Yep. 18:18.145 --> 18:20.809 [SPEAKER_00]: Spending more time with your family working on your health. 18:20.889 --> 18:25.555 [SPEAKER_00]: Like all of those different things can be done if we eliminated some of these distractions. 18:26.196 --> 18:31.843 [SPEAKER_00]: And they're with AI and what's coming next. 18:31.823 --> 18:36.689 [SPEAKER_00]: We've already entered the era of the hyper-consumer and the hyper-creative, right? 18:36.709 --> 18:47.624 [SPEAKER_00]: So either you're getting after it and you've got to stack of cameras and you're building something and you understand how to leverage tech and all this sort of stuff or like you're just passively consuming 50 hours of media. 18:47.744 --> 18:48.485 [SPEAKER_00]: Wow. 18:48.545 --> 18:49.326 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what we're going. 18:49.366 --> 18:50.107 [SPEAKER_05]: Okay. 18:50.127 --> 18:51.209 [SPEAKER_05]: I got so many questions for you. 18:51.289 --> 18:52.270 [SPEAKER_05]: Thank you for speaking to that. 18:52.931 --> 18:53.832 [SPEAKER_05]: Take a drink of waters. 18:53.812 --> 19:22.300 [SPEAKER_05]: hot out here do what is this place I want to I want to highlight this beautiful tension you're holding so you said and I love this that you know we're consuming this much media I've heard the argument because we're in the space of digital discipleship so to speak or commentary on it like you know I would I would put you in the category of I don't know saying you're putting yourself in this category but 19:22.280 --> 19:27.605 [SPEAKER_05]: cultural commentator of communicating like where's the truth and all of these things that are happening? 19:27.625 --> 19:44.121 [SPEAKER_05]: I think you do a great job of that and I know I've just like many men and other people I knew about your content and some of the stuff that you've been working through and it's really helped me process stuff and I know I'm not alone but in many ways the argument I hear so I'm gonna push it back when you can respond to this is aren't you just adding to the problem? 19:44.341 --> 19:45.963 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you know what I mean? 19:45.983 --> 19:48.085 [SPEAKER_05]: Like because people go well 19:48.065 --> 19:52.170 [SPEAKER_05]: You know, he also can see, and they'll push this on, you know, on me too. 19:52.210 --> 19:53.711 [SPEAKER_05]: So I'm curious how you responded that. 19:53.751 --> 19:56.574 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, I have a section in the book of like, yeah, it's it to some degree. 19:57.535 --> 20:01.280 [SPEAKER_00]: Every content creator is complicit in this for sure. 20:01.300 --> 20:12.452 [SPEAKER_00]: I would I say what what gives me hope is that when I go live on YouTube and this is just like a minor thing, but like, we actually don't have like thousands of people that watch me live. 20:12.432 --> 20:20.703 [SPEAKER_00]: It's actually thousands of tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, or they'll watch the videos, but they don't just sit around watching me live for five hours a day like certain streamers, right? 20:20.984 --> 20:21.364 [SPEAKER_00]: Interesting. 20:21.524 --> 20:33.140 [SPEAKER_00]: So for me, the hope and at least I like to believe is that like, the videos you're watching for me, hopefully it's equipping you and sending you back into your real life to actually live the truth instead of just hearing about truth. 20:33.160 --> 20:33.681 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 20:33.661 --> 20:34.864 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I'd like to believe. 20:34.924 --> 20:35.124 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 20:35.365 --> 20:41.879 [SPEAKER_00]: So when we're doing a live stream, you know, there'll be a couple hundred people, but like I'm not the biggest like draw on the live stuff. 20:41.939 --> 20:51.339 [SPEAKER_00]: The live stuff and that actually makes me happy because that means that people are tuning in when they can and not like I'm stopping my afternoon and watching Bruce lawn for four hours. 20:51.499 --> 20:51.740 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 20:51.760 --> 20:52.000 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 20:52.020 --> 20:52.301 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 20:52.321 --> 20:52.902 [SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah. 20:52.882 --> 20:53.363 [SPEAKER_05]: Let's go. 20:53.383 --> 20:54.586 [SPEAKER_05]: So that's a great response. 20:55.167 --> 21:00.159 [SPEAKER_05]: Well, I think you're, I mean, with every backside weakness, like media consumption, there's also a beautiful side. 21:00.179 --> 21:02.765 [SPEAKER_05]: Like people are being disabled in more ways than ever before. 21:03.186 --> 21:07.235 [SPEAKER_05]: Yes, in information, you are not a passive dude. 21:07.295 --> 21:09.540 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know you, but all I know is this. 21:09.520 --> 21:25.977 [SPEAKER_05]: most guys in your space are ambitious right like you have to have like your highlighting a certain level of ambition give me kind of like a window like behind the scenes of what this process looked like you've built an online platform that doesn't happen on accident uh you were successful in the music space that doesn't happen on accident 21:25.957 --> 21:27.439 [SPEAKER_05]: You're writing a book. 21:27.459 --> 21:28.040 [SPEAKER_05]: That doesn't happen. 21:28.081 --> 21:30.004 [SPEAKER_05]: So what does that look like for you practically? 21:30.024 --> 21:33.409 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm thinking like and almost put on that space of like your father. 21:33.429 --> 21:34.151 [SPEAKER_05]: You have young kids. 21:34.291 --> 21:36.054 [SPEAKER_05]: You're actively still growing your family. 21:36.454 --> 21:38.618 [SPEAKER_05]: You got every pressure on the familial side. 21:39.019 --> 21:40.902 [SPEAKER_05]: But then you got this growing world on the other side. 21:41.302 --> 21:42.324 [SPEAKER_05]: How do you hold all that? 21:42.344 --> 21:44.007 [SPEAKER_05]: And what does that process look behind the scenes? 21:44.407 --> 21:46.491 [SPEAKER_00]: Behind us is it looks like communicating expectations. 21:47.192 --> 21:47.292 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 21:47.312 --> 21:47.813 [SPEAKER_00]: About. 21:49.548 --> 22:05.828 [SPEAKER_00]: one evaluating the season that we're in and what has got seen to be breathing on two communicating expectations internally and within the household and then three when those first two things are done, then I as a creative person as an ambitious person can run after the thing. 22:06.029 --> 22:06.329 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 22:06.349 --> 22:06.489 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 22:06.509 --> 22:09.733 [SPEAKER_00]: So when we're getting the YouTube off the ground, it's the pandemic. 22:09.914 --> 22:10.895 [SPEAKER_00]: So I already could. 22:10.915 --> 22:12.577 [SPEAKER_00]: That was when you started really passionate. 22:12.597 --> 22:14.239 [SPEAKER_00]: That's when it really kind of took 22:14.219 --> 22:15.963 [SPEAKER_00]: So we already, there was nothing to do. 22:15.983 --> 22:16.825 [SPEAKER_00]: There was nowhere to go. 22:16.905 --> 22:17.867 [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't go anywhere. 22:17.907 --> 22:23.038 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm already home more and I absolutely worked very hard. 22:23.098 --> 22:29.352 [SPEAKER_00]: That first year getting it off the ground, it was really just me up until 2021 when Zach came on. 22:29.953 --> 22:32.599 [SPEAKER_00]: And there was kind of an understanding of like, 22:32.714 --> 22:41.473 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the God's breathing on this if this is great because now Dad doesn't have to travel and go do shows and and and leave as much and we're going to buckle down and I'm going to go hard and that might mean like late nights and really getting after it. 22:41.493 --> 22:42.736 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, but that was a that was a season that was a sprint. 22:42.756 --> 22:52.377 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 22:52.660 --> 22:57.524 [SPEAKER_00]: In Proverbs 6, it talks about the gazelle escaping the hunter, right? 22:57.604 --> 22:59.386 [SPEAKER_00]: And it says, give no rest to your eyes. 22:59.426 --> 23:02.509 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, the Solomon is being literal as in, like, don't sleep, right? 23:02.529 --> 23:02.749 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah. 23:02.869 --> 23:06.152 [SPEAKER_00]: I think he's being, I think that's hyperbole to say, hey, there are seasons. 23:06.773 --> 23:09.755 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes they're usually on the back of making a mess, right? 23:09.775 --> 23:11.377 [SPEAKER_00]: So when you're in debt, you've made a mess. 23:11.797 --> 23:15.180 [SPEAKER_00]: You might need to get, get your head down and just get out of debt as quickly as possible, right? 23:15.280 --> 23:19.064 [SPEAKER_00]: This is a lot of this is from Dave Ramsey, and the impact he had on us to get out of debt. 23:19.304 --> 23:22.667 [SPEAKER_00]: So we understand internally that, hey, sometimes they're sprints. 23:22.647 --> 23:26.138 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes we're coasting, and sometimes we're power walking, sometimes we're not. 23:26.178 --> 23:30.852 [SPEAKER_00]: So that was a season where we put our head down and we just worked. 23:31.169 --> 23:35.533 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was on the other side of like, but there's no where to go and there's nothing to do. 23:36.113 --> 23:38.816 [SPEAKER_00]: Right, so a lot of family time and a lot of work time. 23:39.136 --> 23:40.698 [SPEAKER_00]: Right, so no extra cricket activities. 23:40.998 --> 23:42.219 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 23:42.399 --> 23:44.161 [SPEAKER_00]: And then we kind of ease up a little bit, right? 23:44.181 --> 23:44.921 [SPEAKER_00]: We kind of ease up now. 23:44.941 --> 23:48.184 [SPEAKER_00]: We hire people and that is other people to do stuff right now, putting out a book. 23:48.505 --> 23:53.229 [SPEAKER_00]: So a season of putting our head down and working work and we have a window and then we're going to have a baby. 23:53.249 --> 24:01.176 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so 24:01.156 --> 24:11.251 [SPEAKER_00]: I think people men can sometimes believe that like their wives are afraid of them working hard And I heard this from Ramsey and he and it's not that your wife is afraid of you working hard. 24:11.692 --> 24:15.278 [SPEAKER_00]: It's that when you work hard You don't communicate. 24:15.298 --> 24:15.999 [SPEAKER_00]: It's for a season. 24:16.039 --> 24:17.621 [SPEAKER_00]: So she thinks this is the forever. 24:17.641 --> 24:18.102 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 24:18.202 --> 24:19.764 [SPEAKER_00]: This is this is that's good Right. 24:19.885 --> 24:21.487 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, first thing hey babe. 24:21.848 --> 24:22.248 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey babe. 24:22.268 --> 24:22.889 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey kids. 24:23.149 --> 24:23.590 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 24:23.610 --> 24:26.134 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna be gone for three sleep's because that's how they understand 24:26.114 --> 24:27.056 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's my kiss. 24:27.116 --> 24:27.276 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 24:27.356 --> 24:28.378 [SPEAKER_00]: We're going for three other ones. 24:28.458 --> 24:32.045 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to come back and then I'm going for four sleeps, but then I'm not going anywhere for a while. 24:32.085 --> 24:36.233 [SPEAKER_00]: I got a one in and out trip here and I got a one in that trip here and then does not traveling for four months after. 24:36.253 --> 24:38.136 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like a communicating that over and over. 24:39.479 --> 24:44.889 [SPEAKER_00]: And then why are we doing a well-duty broder book and this book is helping people when I need to go and it's helping people about the book and help people. 24:44.989 --> 24:45.310 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 24:45.330 --> 24:46.131 [SPEAKER_00]: So. 24:46.111 --> 24:51.621 [SPEAKER_00]: when we are all on the same page, then I don't have this guilt and this shame for working hard. 24:51.821 --> 24:52.162 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 24:52.182 --> 24:55.148 [SPEAKER_00]: The issue is we want to work hard, but not communicate why we're working hard. 24:55.168 --> 25:03.563 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not asking the division why we're not we're not seeing what God is blessing and breathing on and then that can create more resentment and frustration and the marriage and the family. 25:03.880 --> 25:04.181 [SPEAKER_05]: do. 25:04.241 --> 25:05.844 [SPEAKER_05]: That's so good. 25:05.904 --> 25:06.325 [SPEAKER_05]: Thank you. 25:06.345 --> 25:06.926 [SPEAKER_05]: The communicate. 25:06.966 --> 25:09.852 [SPEAKER_05]: So I just to double down on it, communicate. 25:10.213 --> 25:17.046 [SPEAKER_05]: The expectations is so helpful because I think, I mean, I'm guilty of that, too, where we're so in it and you're building, you're pushing and then you're like, 25:18.190 --> 25:19.071 [SPEAKER_05]: where is the end? 25:19.092 --> 25:34.377 [SPEAKER_05]: I think sometimes actually what I love about what you said what I'm personally taking is very helpful in the moment and I think it will be helpful for those listening is that you're actually forcing yourself to also agree to the terms that this isn't forever which is actually super important in my opinion. 25:34.357 --> 25:39.305 [SPEAKER_05]: for the guy that's working in an unhealthy way to deal with a deeper emotional issue, right? 25:39.325 --> 25:47.258 [SPEAKER_05]: Those guys, like we all can be prone to jump into a deeper amount of work to avoid the hurt or the real thing that we need to deal with. 25:47.278 --> 25:50.944 [SPEAKER_05]: So I think there's multiple layers to that, which is beautiful. 25:51.105 --> 25:56.213 [SPEAKER_00]: And let me just add this, while I'm in a busy season, I'm not in a basketball league. 25:56.885 --> 25:58.748 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't go to the gym five more times. 25:59.028 --> 25:59.469 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, right? 25:59.489 --> 26:00.370 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm home. 26:00.691 --> 26:01.512 [SPEAKER_00]: Like when I'm home, I'm home. 26:01.532 --> 26:02.293 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm home every night. 26:02.313 --> 26:04.997 [SPEAKER_00]: Me and my wife watch shows every night. 26:05.077 --> 26:06.339 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm there for breakfast every day. 26:06.359 --> 26:07.441 [SPEAKER_00]: I do bedtime every day. 26:07.841 --> 26:08.863 [SPEAKER_00]: So when I'm home, I'm home. 26:09.323 --> 26:09.484 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 26:09.504 --> 26:12.188 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think God, the issue is we sometimes want it all. 26:12.208 --> 26:21.201 [SPEAKER_00]: Like you want to go fishing and be in the basketball league and be in the bowling league and be in three Bible studies and and charge at your business and be like, well, why is my why was my wife mad? 26:21.221 --> 26:22.583 [SPEAKER_00]: Because she never sees you dog. 26:22.603 --> 26:23.304 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, dude. 26:23.324 --> 26:26.689 [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're freaking running and you're gunning. 26:26.669 --> 26:29.933 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't I'm not doing a bunch of extra quick enough stuff like I'm not. 26:29.953 --> 26:33.477 [SPEAKER_00]: When I'm home I'm home and my wife hang out every night just that's our time. 26:33.958 --> 26:51.580 [SPEAKER_00]: I do bedtime with the kids primarily do a lot of the bait the bathing and that sort of stuff and so like yeah like I'm home I'm home I don't know I got nowhere to be I'm not doing meetings I hate meetings by the way I think of the words okay you know I would create a culture of just showing me we don't have meetings that's another thing like we don't do meetings 26:51.560 --> 27:18.276 [SPEAKER_00]: So what do you mean by that similar I love to me do not do meetings with your group in business or in business okay so what does that look like because I think we don't talk about what we're gonna do there's a text message with clear communications and we do it okay I don't sit around talking about the vision over and over so what okay so I'm just gonna I'm gonna put on the other head of like someone goes to you gotta communicate your vision at least a hundred million times you know for them to get it I say 90% could be communicated in the text or voice note 27:18.323 --> 27:20.105 [SPEAKER_05]: Okay, dude, voicemail, I love them. 27:20.125 --> 27:20.967 [SPEAKER_05]: They're my love language. 27:20.987 --> 27:29.919 [SPEAKER_05]: My wife and I, when we travel, when I travel more apart, we don't call each other because we found that every time I call her, she's in the middle of something like the kids and it's like, always disruptive and they're like, can we see your face? 27:29.939 --> 27:30.760 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm like, nah, now I'm right now. 27:31.080 --> 27:33.103 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm at, you know, and we just voicemail. 27:33.183 --> 27:45.900 [SPEAKER_05]: And it's lovely, but I would just say to that person, like, you mean, what does that look, give me like an actual thing instead of meetings, give me like an actual to do from recently where you're like, dude, we didn't have a meeting about talking about what we're gonna just did it. 27:45.914 --> 27:51.462 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, today we have Zach who is my number two is on a hybrid schedule. 27:51.482 --> 27:52.423 [SPEAKER_00]: So he comes in once a week. 27:52.443 --> 27:53.765 [SPEAKER_00]: He's remote time. 27:54.546 --> 28:00.214 [SPEAKER_00]: Chris who's in the office today, there's a simple literally apple notes to do list for that. 28:00.234 --> 28:02.097 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a simple to do notes for Chris. 28:02.357 --> 28:05.882 [SPEAKER_00]: We have a group text and we're communicating and just checking in on what needs to be done. 28:06.222 --> 28:06.943 [SPEAKER_04]: That's great. 28:07.004 --> 28:10.909 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to hop on zoom for 30 minutes to go over what needs to be done. 28:10.889 --> 28:11.490 [SPEAKER_05]: That's good. 28:11.891 --> 28:12.331 [SPEAKER_05]: That's good. 28:13.133 --> 28:19.664 [SPEAKER_00]: That's a very, I mean, I think I'm talking about how much fat is, but how much time is wasted in the fat of meetings? 28:20.064 --> 28:24.932 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I, I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I'm trying to, or a job or, or here, here's, there's words in ministry. 28:25.353 --> 28:32.445 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, we have a meeting about the week, the all staff meeting, then we have a meeting about the meeting, then we have a tech meeting. 28:32.745 --> 28:35.069 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't spend my entire Monday in meetings. 28:35.149 --> 28:36.171 [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't got anything done. 28:36.151 --> 28:39.937 [SPEAKER_05]: I think the main thing that people need to take from this is stop having so many freaking meetings. 28:39.958 --> 28:41.400 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I've never had a name. 28:41.420 --> 28:42.322 [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't want you to mean it. 28:42.342 --> 28:49.614 [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't want somebody, if you're if you're if you're collaborative, there's a new project, obviously you need to communicate, set clear expectation, all that sort of stuff. 28:49.634 --> 28:51.517 [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, anyway, so that I'm just, that's one example. 28:51.537 --> 28:55.484 [SPEAKER_00]: People are going to say, oh, you know, one example of like, hey, we just, I don't do that. 28:55.965 --> 28:57.788 [SPEAKER_00]: We try not to have any meetings ever. 28:57.768 --> 29:00.271 [SPEAKER_05]: Do you know what I like about what you're saying even in that moment? 29:00.511 --> 29:01.653 [SPEAKER_05]: And truly, this is helpful. 29:01.773 --> 29:05.117 [SPEAKER_05]: And I think I could not agree more that most men, I mean, most families I meet. 29:05.638 --> 29:08.121 [SPEAKER_05]: It's not that they even need to know the right thing to do all the time. 29:08.141 --> 29:09.803 [SPEAKER_05]: It's just any permission to do the right thing. 29:10.284 --> 29:15.691 [SPEAKER_05]: I think even what you're saying, there's this so helpful, there's like, give permission to press into like, you don't have to waste time. 29:16.071 --> 29:16.171 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 29:16.191 --> 29:19.075 [SPEAKER_05]: And permission to actually step step in that space of. 29:19.095 --> 29:20.116 [SPEAKER_00]: And here's a replacement for it. 29:20.236 --> 29:20.737 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, before it. 29:21.278 --> 29:22.659 [SPEAKER_00]: Have meals together instead of meetings. 29:23.741 --> 29:23.961 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh. 29:24.768 --> 29:25.789 [SPEAKER_00]: I take my team out to eat. 29:25.949 --> 29:26.470 [SPEAKER_00]: We sit down. 29:26.530 --> 29:27.812 [SPEAKER_00]: We eat. 29:28.352 --> 29:29.333 [SPEAKER_00]: We eat dinner all the time. 29:30.074 --> 29:31.456 [SPEAKER_00]: We do rosin thorn as a family. 29:31.896 --> 29:32.237 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 29:32.257 --> 29:36.201 [SPEAKER_00]: I need to have a family meeting or a staff meeting because I'm always actually with my people. 29:36.702 --> 29:38.304 [SPEAKER_05]: Dude. 29:38.324 --> 29:38.624 [SPEAKER_05]: Love it. 29:38.885 --> 29:39.385 [SPEAKER_05]: Very helpful. 29:39.846 --> 29:41.908 [SPEAKER_05]: Switching gears a little bit, but I think really important. 29:42.589 --> 29:45.773 [SPEAKER_05]: Um, again, the cultural commentating piece. 29:46.514 --> 29:47.755 [SPEAKER_05]: Where did that come from for you? 29:48.663 --> 29:50.885 [SPEAKER_00]: I was a full-time artist. 29:51.345 --> 29:58.152 [SPEAKER_00]: I had, by the grace of God, you know, I was making, I don't know, we were grossing six figures as an independent Christian rapper. 29:58.412 --> 30:01.094 [SPEAKER_00]: This is before this was asked prevalent from 2015 to 2020. 30:02.095 --> 30:06.259 [SPEAKER_00]: Around 2018, people started just asking me for my input on stuff and like, how do you do this? 30:06.279 --> 30:06.739 [SPEAKER_00]: How do you do that? 30:07.940 --> 30:09.982 [SPEAKER_00]: So YouTube was primarily just me giving marketing. 30:10.803 --> 30:18.670 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like trying to help other young creative people figure out how to monetize their audiences 30:18.650 --> 30:28.248 [SPEAKER_00]: And that was a community that was formulated, like 2018, 2019, I've just listened, it was really music reviews and then marketing advice. 30:29.050 --> 30:37.486 [SPEAKER_00]: And then one day I was on live and people just started asking for more insights and they wanted more, they had more questions from me about other things. 30:38.207 --> 30:41.974 [SPEAKER_00]: And I started speaking into those things and then trying to tie them back in the scripture. 30:41.954 --> 30:45.178 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, well, let me just clip this and see how it does. 30:45.258 --> 30:48.843 [SPEAKER_00]: And those ended up being the things that were the most, Wow. 30:49.183 --> 30:50.104 [SPEAKER_00]: The resonated the most. 30:50.125 --> 30:50.906 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it connects with people. 30:50.946 --> 30:51.186 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 30:51.386 --> 30:53.789 [SPEAKER_00]: And in hindsight, I looked back and I said, well, what have I been doing? 30:53.829 --> 31:01.860 [SPEAKER_00]: We're doing a lot of, I guess I did a lot of time doing music, but I also spent a lot of time leading small Bible studies with men and leading small groups. 31:01.880 --> 31:04.723 [SPEAKER_00]: And they would come in worried about the week and we would talk about current events. 31:04.823 --> 31:07.607 [SPEAKER_00]: And then tie it in the scripture and the Bible lesson, you know? 31:07.587 --> 31:09.552 [SPEAKER_05]: Dude, it's incredibly helpful. 31:09.592 --> 31:11.638 [SPEAKER_05]: Anyone listening needs to check out your stuff, obviously. 31:11.858 --> 31:15.087 [SPEAKER_05]: But I want to highlight something that you just did recently, which I really appreciated. 31:15.689 --> 31:23.108 [SPEAKER_05]: If you've been on the internet and around any of the spaces, you've heard about the Forest Frank and Coriazberg thing. 31:23.128 --> 31:23.790 [SPEAKER_05]: Yes. 31:23.770 --> 31:27.654 [SPEAKER_05]: And, man, what I love you is I just want to highlight this if you haven't seen that video. 31:27.814 --> 31:29.596 [SPEAKER_05]: It will be in the show and it will watch that video very helpful. 31:29.616 --> 31:31.518 [SPEAKER_05]: But you brought them both in the studio. 31:32.058 --> 31:34.440 [SPEAKER_05]: And what I love like I literally didn't take sides, right? 31:34.480 --> 31:37.163 [SPEAKER_05]: But you just sat down and made a space for a conversation. 31:37.904 --> 31:39.826 [SPEAKER_05]: I listen that almost all of it. 31:39.846 --> 31:41.007 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't think I made it to the end. 31:41.607 --> 31:43.790 [SPEAKER_05]: But man, very interesting. 31:43.870 --> 31:46.592 [SPEAKER_05]: And again, two dudes, as well, you use all three of you. 31:47.233 --> 31:48.574 [SPEAKER_05]: And vicious guys, right? 31:48.594 --> 31:52.478 [SPEAKER_05]: Like, you don't get to that space by just being passive. 31:52.458 --> 31:57.584 [SPEAKER_05]: Um, but all that said, you know, you set up a space to have conversation. 31:57.664 --> 32:02.711 [SPEAKER_05]: I think you modeled in that moment and, you know, Proverbs is really clear that another man praised not your own lips. 32:02.731 --> 32:03.412 [SPEAKER_05]: So this is my words. 32:03.432 --> 32:04.973 [SPEAKER_05]: You're not asking me to say this. 32:04.993 --> 32:14.906 [SPEAKER_05]: I think it's important to like you gave an example of what it looks like to work out really hard things in a beautiful way and to talk it out and let these guys share. 32:15.506 --> 32:20.052 [SPEAKER_05]: But I just want to ask like from your vantage point kind of sitting in the room feeling that 32:20.032 --> 32:24.278 [SPEAKER_05]: What do you think that does for godly fatherhood and manhood? 32:24.819 --> 32:26.761 [SPEAKER_05]: Like what you saw on that situation, right? 32:26.781 --> 32:33.951 [SPEAKER_05]: Because I thought it was a great situation that in the sense of how it was dealt with and other people think very many other things. 32:34.732 --> 32:37.016 [SPEAKER_05]: But I'm be curious, like what do you think that does? 32:37.096 --> 32:40.200 [SPEAKER_05]: What kind of model or permission do you think that gives his manhood? 32:40.180 --> 32:43.526 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, men aren't always great at conflict, right? 32:43.827 --> 32:55.229 [SPEAKER_00]: Because it's like, you are, we're hunters, gatherers, warriors, and then you're like, well, yeah, but that hurt my feelings and I'm like, can't fight you. 32:56.512 --> 32:58.536 [SPEAKER_00]: So any more, I love Jesus. 32:58.596 --> 32:59.277 [SPEAKER_00]: You love Jesus. 32:59.317 --> 33:00.219 [SPEAKER_00]: That hurt my feelings. 33:00.379 --> 33:01.902 [SPEAKER_05]: Is that a cat or a bobcat? 33:02.422 --> 33:03.404 [SPEAKER_05]: That's a cat. 33:03.424 --> 33:04.285 [SPEAKER_05]: We're okay everyone. 33:04.305 --> 33:04.666 [SPEAKER_00]: We're okay. 33:04.686 --> 33:05.147 [SPEAKER_00]: We're out there. 33:05.167 --> 33:06.970 [SPEAKER_00]: You're a bunch like deer or something that's weird. 33:06.990 --> 33:07.931 [SPEAKER_05]: We're in a wild place. 33:07.951 --> 33:09.253 [SPEAKER_00]: Keep going starting rough. 33:09.273 --> 33:10.075 [SPEAKER_05]: They don't want to deal. 33:10.355 --> 33:13.200 [SPEAKER_05]: If that's an animal that's going to kill us, we don't think we're good. 33:13.500 --> 33:14.562 [SPEAKER_00]: So, yeah. 33:14.582 --> 33:18.228 [SPEAKER_00]: So, I think like conflict resolution is not, yeah. 33:18.248 --> 33:21.053 [SPEAKER_00]: We're just not the most equipped to have that. 33:21.093 --> 33:22.515 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I just the way we're wired. 33:22.996 --> 33:28.986 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, I think like giving space to say, hey, like man, this hurt forced and like, 33:28.966 --> 33:30.969 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, maybe he sensitive fine. 33:31.470 --> 33:44.832 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, but if force was in your small group and you said something that hurt his feelings about like an actual traumatic event he had in his real life where he thought he may not walk again, he may not be able to hold his son again. 33:44.812 --> 33:54.634 [SPEAKER_00]: I think you'd probably apologize, right, regardless of how successful force is, and regardless on how he made a record out of it, multiple songs, and they were number one, he'd take that seed still a human, right? 33:54.754 --> 33:57.681 [SPEAKER_00]: And to Corey's credit, like, I didn't have to convince Corey of this. 33:57.721 --> 34:04.356 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, Corey's very smart, and he's a great dad in his own right, and was like, oh, yeah, like, I, I, 34:04.336 --> 34:24.977 [SPEAKER_00]: send against you in this way and I'm sorry and I thought it was a beautiful picture of reconciliation and especially in light of everything that's happening now with culture and society is like I think we need examples of reconciling healthy dialogue this hurt my feelings maybe I'm soft but still this hurt my feelings yes can you not do that anymore yes like that's that's fair 34:24.957 --> 34:25.398 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 34:25.638 --> 34:27.761 [SPEAKER_05]: What do you say about all the like in your opinion? 34:27.781 --> 34:29.203 [SPEAKER_05]: Because you have to you live in this world. 34:29.223 --> 34:31.346 [SPEAKER_05]: You think this, you know, you're in it every day. 34:31.927 --> 34:37.975 [SPEAKER_05]: What about all those folks that are on the other end of this saying like, dude, that was like deforming of masculinity. 34:38.036 --> 34:41.000 [SPEAKER_05]: It's all about the feminine culture of men having to act this way. 34:41.020 --> 34:49.372 [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know if you've heard any of this rhetoric, but that idea like basically saying that's an example of the feminine Christian culture that ran. 34:49.432 --> 34:51.775 [SPEAKER_05]: What do you take on that? 34:52.278 --> 34:53.300 [SPEAKER_05]: I put you on the spot. 34:53.340 --> 34:58.549 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I think there's some validity to like an effeminate component to manhood in church. 34:58.569 --> 35:04.279 [SPEAKER_00]: I think a lot of our songs are very like feminized, they kind of sound like love songs to Jesus. 35:04.719 --> 35:06.723 [SPEAKER_00]: Some of Christian cultures is effeminate. 35:07.123 --> 35:07.384 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 35:08.225 --> 35:08.526 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 35:08.546 --> 35:08.806 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. 35:08.826 --> 35:10.109 [SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, I think there's really that. 35:10.129 --> 35:12.733 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, is it effeminate to say, 35:12.713 --> 35:17.077 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey man, like that really bothered me and like I know it shouldn't bother me. 35:17.338 --> 35:19.059 [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, like that bothered me. 35:19.079 --> 35:20.200 [SPEAKER_00]: Dude, can you not do that? 35:20.621 --> 35:20.721 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 35:20.741 --> 35:21.662 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that's a feminine. 35:21.682 --> 35:23.283 [SPEAKER_00]: I actually think that's masculine to say. 35:23.303 --> 35:28.609 [SPEAKER_00]: Hey man, this bug me agreed and and by the way, let's let's be honest for a second. 35:28.729 --> 35:30.490 [SPEAKER_00]: Forrest is very influential. 35:31.311 --> 35:31.572 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 35:31.872 --> 35:34.174 [SPEAKER_00]: And in having influence yields a lot of power. 35:34.675 --> 35:34.775 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 35:34.795 --> 35:38.098 [SPEAKER_00]: And if he really did want to be malicious and dunk on someone. 35:38.138 --> 35:40.240 [SPEAKER_00]: He felt like hurt him or hurt him. 35:40.220 --> 35:45.046 [SPEAKER_00]: He could, and it wouldn't be good for whoever's on the other side of it, and he didn't. 35:45.407 --> 35:45.867 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 35:45.887 --> 35:48.070 [SPEAKER_00]: So to me, masculinity is restraint. 35:48.090 --> 35:48.531 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 35:48.591 --> 35:50.173 [SPEAKER_00]: To me, masculinity is vulnerability. 35:50.233 --> 35:50.834 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 35:50.894 --> 35:53.517 [SPEAKER_00]: We don't want to always be vulnerable, because that can be toxic too. 35:53.857 --> 36:01.247 [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't think that's before is that I think for us, like, got tired of seeing dozens of videos, making fun of him breaking his back. 36:01.267 --> 36:01.367 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 36:01.347 --> 36:02.208 [SPEAKER_05]: I get it. 36:02.348 --> 36:04.451 [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, I get it in the sense of the frustration. 36:04.771 --> 36:08.456 [SPEAKER_05]: You said it about the, you know, the effeminate part of the church, which you can lean towards. 36:09.277 --> 36:16.466 [SPEAKER_05]: I also think that comes down to and I want to hear your thoughts on this, like that can come down to the fact that for so many, I don't know how long, right? 36:16.626 --> 36:23.134 [SPEAKER_05]: But decades upon decades, men not being men in stepping into the space of spiritual leadership, spiritual authority. 36:23.455 --> 36:25.397 [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm not talking about 36:25.377 --> 36:28.300 [SPEAKER_05]: Obviously male and female leadership, right, there's there's different views on that. 36:28.320 --> 36:34.305 [SPEAKER_05]: I'm talking about fathers in the home stepping up to actually be the men that they've been called to be. 36:34.905 --> 36:38.809 [SPEAKER_05]: So my question is like, how can we call men up to like fathers in the home? 36:39.409 --> 36:40.090 [SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean? 36:40.110 --> 36:43.613 [SPEAKER_05]: And another maybe add on or just maybe to sprinkle this a little more. 36:43.673 --> 36:49.238 [SPEAKER_05]: What does that in your opinion and estimation and experience spiritual leadership in the home look like? 36:49.558 --> 36:54.102 [SPEAKER_05]: Because I think it's more simple than we make it, but I also want to hear some of your thoughts on 36:55.600 --> 36:56.506 [SPEAKER_05]: some of these things. 36:56.526 --> 37:01.999 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, I think I think when men feel like they're being told to do stuff. 37:03.076 --> 37:09.745 [SPEAKER_00]: sometimes you can come off in, hey, do stuff that is very foreign and unnatural to you. 37:09.765 --> 37:10.647 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 37:10.667 --> 37:13.831 [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes we should do stuff that's foreign and unnatural to us. 37:14.091 --> 37:14.292 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 37:14.312 --> 37:16.435 [SPEAKER_00]: So like you have little girls and they want to play with dolls. 37:16.895 --> 37:17.276 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 37:17.296 --> 37:18.558 [SPEAKER_00]: And she's my daughter's four. 37:19.078 --> 37:20.961 [SPEAKER_00]: I need to get on the ground and play with my four year old. 37:20.981 --> 37:21.101 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 37:21.121 --> 37:22.764 [SPEAKER_00]: That's very foreign and unnatural to me. 37:22.924 --> 37:23.324 [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. 37:23.344 --> 37:24.746 [SPEAKER_00]: But it is good for me. 37:24.787 --> 37:25.608 [SPEAKER_00]: It is good for my soul. 37:25.748 --> 37:28.712 [SPEAKER_00]: It is good for me as a dad and it is good for her as my daughter. 37:28.692 --> 37:36.182 [SPEAKER_00]: other times though, I do think that men are told to do things and they think like, hey man, like, you need to have community and fellowship. 37:36.222 --> 37:41.189 [SPEAKER_00]: And what they here is like, I need to go to coffee and talk to my best friend away my wife does. 37:41.289 --> 37:41.890 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 37:41.910 --> 37:45.455 [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't think that's how that looks. 37:45.475 --> 37:52.925 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think, hey, you need to go and have community, can be like, you need to find someone and like go to the gym with them. 37:53.025 --> 37:53.325 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 37:53.666 --> 37:54.587 [SPEAKER_00]: Have a do this work. 37:54.607 --> 37:56.269 [SPEAKER_00]: I do the thing. 37:56.249 --> 38:02.799 [SPEAKER_00]: So when we, if we reorient it like that for a second and we go, okay, so like I need to be a present father. 38:03.019 --> 38:03.219 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 38:03.340 --> 38:03.840 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, an amen. 38:04.481 --> 38:11.051 [SPEAKER_00]: That does not mean that like I need to take my son out to daddy, daughter, day, a Chick-fil-A the way I would do my daughter. 38:11.211 --> 38:11.452 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 38:11.472 --> 38:14.456 [SPEAKER_00]: That actually means I need to be interested in when he's interested in. 38:14.496 --> 38:14.737 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. 38:15.177 --> 38:16.219 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I find it interesting. 38:16.259 --> 38:18.342 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I went back, 38:18.322 --> 38:20.085 [SPEAKER_00]: and watched all the Star Wars with him. 38:20.165 --> 38:21.888 [SPEAKER_00]: And now I, like, oh, like, I get it. 38:21.908 --> 38:23.490 [SPEAKER_00]: I never understood Star Wars as a growing up. 38:23.510 --> 38:24.592 [SPEAKER_00]: I never got that thought it was nerdy. 38:24.872 --> 38:25.714 [SPEAKER_00]: And I, I get it. 38:26.214 --> 38:31.743 [SPEAKER_00]: And then now we also have really profound conversations about I know how is Star Wars different from the biblical world view, right? 38:31.763 --> 38:34.107 [SPEAKER_00]: And how is the force different from God, right? 38:34.127 --> 38:35.509 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, we end up having really perfect. 38:35.529 --> 38:41.438 [SPEAKER_00]: And he's 10, like we're having these conversations about Eastern mythology and other religions versus Christianity. 38:41.478 --> 38:42.500 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really profound. 38:42.560 --> 38:43.722 [SPEAKER_00]: And so like, 38:43.702 --> 38:54.035 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that we hear that and we go, oh, you got to do something you don't want to win a reality is like actually the things that you kind of like doing as a dad are the things that are good for you to do. 38:54.656 --> 39:01.364 [SPEAKER_00]: Playing video games with your kids watching movies with your kids, fighting wrestling with your kids, going on walks with your kids, doing sports. 39:01.384 --> 39:02.886 [SPEAKER_00]: We actually like doing all those things. 39:03.206 --> 39:06.030 [SPEAKER_00]: So I think some of it just needs to be reoriented and saying, hey, 39:06.415 --> 39:06.816 [SPEAKER_05]: That's good. 39:06.836 --> 39:07.196 [SPEAKER_00]: That's good. 39:07.216 --> 39:08.939 [SPEAKER_00]: They like doing, they like doing with you. 39:09.160 --> 39:13.427 [SPEAKER_05]: And they're valid, like they're watching movies with my love watching movies with my kids. 39:13.447 --> 39:15.730 [SPEAKER_05]: They'll be the first to say like, that's one of our things that we do. 39:16.552 --> 39:18.014 [SPEAKER_05]: And we absolutely love it, right? 39:18.134 --> 39:24.645 [SPEAKER_05]: So yeah, I mean, I think there's just, I'll enclose the I want to ask you just a few things. 39:24.685 --> 39:27.630 [SPEAKER_05]: But one thing I want to really want to ask you is, 39:27.610 --> 39:30.953 [SPEAKER_05]: What is your favorite thing as a father right now? 39:31.093 --> 39:32.014 [SPEAKER_05]: Because that changes, right? 39:32.214 --> 39:35.357 [SPEAKER_05]: As a father, you have all these different things, different seasons of life. 39:35.377 --> 39:37.018 [SPEAKER_05]: What's your favorite thing as a father right now? 39:38.659 --> 39:48.448 [SPEAKER_00]: My four-year-old is developing so quickly, and she's always, I think she's pretty articulate for her age, like I think she's more articulate than my son was when he was already. 39:48.468 --> 39:48.888 [SPEAKER_00]: Sure. 39:48.908 --> 39:57.195 [SPEAKER_00]: So she, it is just such a joy to do the very simple things, 39:57.175 --> 40:03.989 [SPEAKER_00]: being there when she wakes up and letting her wake up and I'm there and the cuddles in them. 40:04.289 --> 40:07.716 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like those little things being there when she goes to sleep, right? 40:07.756 --> 40:13.007 [SPEAKER_00]: Like all those little things that I think like just talking to, there's a conversation with her and like 40:12.987 --> 40:15.470 [SPEAKER_00]: man, like a year ago, you weren't listening to it. 40:15.710 --> 40:18.973 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah, you're like, you're like, you're there. 40:19.133 --> 40:19.614 [SPEAKER_00]: You're there. 40:19.774 --> 40:20.475 [SPEAKER_05]: Especially girls, man. 40:20.495 --> 40:22.437 [SPEAKER_05]: They go fast in the communication space. 40:22.457 --> 40:22.937 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, man. 40:23.057 --> 40:25.019 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that has been very sweet. 40:25.099 --> 40:26.180 [SPEAKER_00]: And she's very sweet. 40:26.701 --> 40:29.724 [SPEAKER_00]: And so even affirming her, my wife is black. 40:29.764 --> 40:31.606 [SPEAKER_00]: My daughter is obviously half black. 40:31.906 --> 40:34.329 [SPEAKER_00]: And so like even affirming her and the texture of her hair. 40:34.489 --> 40:36.090 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's like a lot of girls want straight hair. 40:36.130 --> 40:39.134 [SPEAKER_00]: Because that's, but there are these look like, it's like even like affirming her. 40:39.154 --> 40:40.375 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, hey, no, like your hair is beautiful. 40:40.395 --> 40:40.615 [SPEAKER_00]: Here's all. 40:40.595 --> 40:46.289 [SPEAKER_00]: Awesome, like how many cool ways you can style it, you can make it afro, you can make it, you can calm it down, you can put braids in it, right? 40:46.309 --> 40:56.815 [SPEAKER_00]: So like those little things I think are just they're fun, like it's fun to know that like my voice matters a lot in her life. 40:56.795 --> 41:12.449 [SPEAKER_05]: If there is also one last question, if there's, if there's one thing that you could say to yourself, right, like 10 years ago, your son's 10 or like, give a piece of advice that you would want Ruslan a decade or 15 years ago to know around the, apparently father had any of it. 41:13.169 --> 41:17.653 [SPEAKER_00]: Considering that like, I don't mess up the space time continuum and don't have the kids I have now. 41:17.894 --> 41:18.094 [SPEAKER_04]: Sure. 41:18.194 --> 41:18.474 [SPEAKER_04]: Sure. 41:18.754 --> 41:19.215 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 41:19.235 --> 41:22.578 [SPEAKER_00]: I probably would have, I probably tell the 10 year version for myself 10 years ago. 41:22.598 --> 41:25.080 [SPEAKER_00]: I probably would have told them like, have kids sooner. 41:25.060 --> 41:29.432 [SPEAKER_00]: You'll figure out the career stuff because kids are an amazing motivator. 41:29.632 --> 41:40.943 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, they are and they're just they're becomes a tangible desire and if you have we have the value of like in my wife's gonna come home with the kids It's a huge value for us that becomes a tangible motivator to like 41:40.923 --> 41:41.905 [SPEAKER_00]: figure your life. 41:41.965 --> 41:42.266 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 41:42.386 --> 41:55.994 [SPEAKER_00]: And we think that that gets in a way of godly ambition and it doesn't it actually is the jet fuel of god ambition is like when you know why you're working for something and at the same time you know you can't run yourself into the ground because people are depending on on you. 41:56.455 --> 41:57.236 [SPEAKER_00]: You got to sleep. 41:57.276 --> 41:57.978 [SPEAKER_00]: You got to work out. 41:58.018 --> 41:59.661 [SPEAKER_00]: You got to get your 10,000 steps. 41:59.721 --> 42:01.605 [SPEAKER_00]: You got to be functional as a human. 42:01.665 --> 42:01.986 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah 42:01.966 --> 42:10.935 [SPEAKER_00]: To be able to be present as a dad, love your kids, and get after it, when you know those external motivators of a family are there, you can do more with less. 42:11.055 --> 42:13.417 [SPEAKER_00]: You can accomplish more with less time. 42:13.617 --> 42:15.119 [SPEAKER_00]: And then you can be more efficient. 42:15.559 --> 42:17.501 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think I didn't understand that. 42:17.721 --> 42:20.024 [SPEAKER_00]: I thought kids were going to derail and slow me down. 42:20.464 --> 42:22.506 [SPEAKER_00]: And if anything, it's been nothing but the opposite. 42:22.666 --> 42:28.632 [SPEAKER_00]: And I would tell myself 42:28.612 --> 42:29.113 [SPEAKER_05]: Wow. 42:29.173 --> 42:30.396 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 42:30.416 --> 42:31.879 [SPEAKER_05]: Couldn't be more happy with this conversation. 42:31.920 --> 42:33.162 [SPEAKER_05]: Thank you for spending time. 42:33.202 --> 42:34.425 [SPEAKER_05]: Anywhere books are sold. 42:34.505 --> 42:35.127 [SPEAKER_05]: So we're talking about. 42:35.147 --> 42:35.267 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 42:35.287 --> 42:37.212 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, Amazon, Barnes and Noble. 42:37.232 --> 42:38.374 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, all that good stuff. 42:38.394 --> 42:39.818 [SPEAKER_05]: And your channel, Bless God Studios. 42:39.938 --> 42:40.098 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah. 42:40.319 --> 42:40.780 [SPEAKER_05]: What? 42:40.800 --> 42:41.000 [SPEAKER_05]: Where? 42:41.161 --> 42:42.544 [SPEAKER_00]: How much on KD is the main channel? 42:42.564 --> 42:43.125 [SPEAKER_05]: The main channel. 42:43.145 --> 42:44.168 [SPEAKER_05]: Then you got Bless God Studios. 42:44.228 --> 42:45.270 [SPEAKER_05]: How many channels do you have? 42:45.250 --> 42:49.340 [SPEAKER_00]: So we technically have three, technically four, but there's a small music channel. 42:49.420 --> 42:51.686 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to get it synced with my music releases. 42:52.047 --> 42:53.631 [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, Ruslan KD is the main channel. 42:54.172 --> 42:55.876 [SPEAKER_00]: Just cracked 800,000 subscribers. 42:55.896 --> 42:57.099 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know when this is coming out. 42:57.360 --> 42:58.282 [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, the time of this recording. 42:58.703 --> 43:01.470 [SPEAKER_00]: Bless God Studios is at like 320,000. 43:01.450 --> 43:07.117 [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we have a small blessed god business channel that we're kind of trying to figure out what is that. 43:07.137 --> 43:10.121 [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, be called great merch go check out the merch this whole thing. 43:10.641 --> 43:11.963 [SPEAKER_05]: Ruslan, thank you for what you're doing in the world. 43:12.103 --> 43:18.751 [SPEAKER_05]: Thank you for just taking a minute to pour into the father's in this space and the people listening and do continue this work. 43:18.872 --> 43:19.633 [SPEAKER_05]: It's really beautiful. 43:19.793 --> 43:23.077 [SPEAKER_05]: You're blessed with me and many people and thanks for taking a minute. 43:23.277 --> 43:23.878 [SPEAKER_00]: Appreciate you, man. 43:23.958 --> 43:24.439 [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me. 43:24.659 --> 43:24.859 [SPEAKER_03]: Yep.