[SPEAKER_00]: Hello, good morning, and welcome back, or welcome to Morning Ray, I'm your host, Lann or Lanna, and this week is our last Ask Lann Advice column of 2025, how the hell are we here you guys?
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys know, I love doing AskLan.
[SPEAKER_00]: You send in your questions.
[SPEAKER_00]: I answer them on the pod and we got to chat it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: Take it as your best friend, your older sister, your sister, your sibling, your friend, whoever.
[SPEAKER_00]: Giving you advice.
[SPEAKER_00]: These are the questions that you have asked me and I'll be answering them.
[SPEAKER_00]: disclaimer before we get started.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am just a 26 year old girl.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm figuring out life just as you are and so one you guys asked the questions obviously I don't have every single detail about who you are the situation whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just taking the question at face value and providing you advice in my input if I were asked this question by one of my girlfriends or friends in my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: So
[SPEAKER_00]: Really excited to jump into the episode, but before we get into Askland, I want to do a little bit of life updates, maybe some current faves, and then we'll get into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I leave for South Africa on Friday, which is literally insane.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I was just saying that as leaving for London in South Africa.
[SPEAKER_00]: around this time last year and it's literally been another year which is insane.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to Cape Town for the first time, normally when I have visited South Africa in the past, I've gone to Johannesburg which is where my family is from originally, my parents immigrated to Toronto in the day 1990 before I was born, but our whole extended family is still there.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited to get to see everyone in Cape Town.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're also going to Plattenberg.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're doing the what's called, not the safari.
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess you could say it's the safari, the game range.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're doing that and I'm really, really excited.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited to find workout studios, Pilates studios in Cape Town and in Plutts, and some there for pretty much a month.
[SPEAKER_00]: I still definitely want to work out and move my body and some looking forward to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: My plan is to pre-record the episodes, I fear that I might end up bringing my equipment with me and recording while I'm away.
[SPEAKER_00]: We shall see what happens.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it will be a mix of both, like maybe I'll record some ahead and we'll have to record some there because I definitely want to keep up with the pod while I'm away.
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys know, my end of year series into the near is my favorite series.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's my glow-up series for the new year.
[SPEAKER_00]: We go over vision boards, setting goals, manifesting, mindset, routines, habits, leaving things in the past year, what we want to bring into the new year.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's definitely like my favorite and probably most listened to episode series that I had started doing three years ago, I think it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: so definitely just want to miss out on that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I guess you'll get updates as I record the episodes where I'm recording them if I stick to the plan whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: But really excited for you guys to hear those episodes.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you have any requests of episode topics,
[SPEAKER_00]: discussions, things you want to hear on the pod.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm always open to suggestions.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can either leave it on the Spotify comments if you're currently listening on Spotify or you can DM me on my Instagram at Alana Bloomberg.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm better at checking that Instagram DM over the podcast Instagram DM, but you can DM either and they're always linked in the show notes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Current holy shit my washer is going insane Hopefully you can't hear that.
[SPEAKER_00]: This mic is pretty good at cutting out background noise, but anyways current faves.
[SPEAKER_00]: I Have been obsessed with using moose in my hair again.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been using the IGK Volume moose.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll link it in the show notes for you, but it is so good.
[SPEAKER_00]: I wait until my hair is kind of like half dry
[SPEAKER_00]: either let it air dry to that point or I'll blow dry it rough dry it and then put a little bit just in the roots probably like like a quarter cup amount on my hand kind of thing but really been loving that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I also got a smaller round brush to blow up my hair.
[SPEAKER_00]: I believe it's just over a one inch barrel and I find my hair is blowing out so much sleeker and smoother.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, maybe it's because my hair is shorter.
[SPEAKER_00]: I needed a shorter barrel, but I find it's doing the job a lot better.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll link that below as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it was like $13 from Amazon.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, been doing that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, have been it definitely been on a psychological thriller.
[SPEAKER_00]: I read, as you guys know, the last Mrs. Parish, the next Mrs. Parish, and now I'm reading the house made.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is a movie now coming out in December.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it airs December 18th, but it's with Sydney Sweeney and what's her name?
[SPEAKER_00]: The house made.
[SPEAKER_00]: Amanda Seinfeld, say free to Seinfeld, don't Seinfeld, say free to Seinfeld, say free to Seinfeld, say you're lost name.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in a safe rate, safe rate.
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyways, psychological thriller really been into these books lately, but just sort of reading the house made, been reading the confidence code, finishing up the act.
[SPEAKER_00]: The courage to be disliked, really been in my reading era and loving my Kindle if you're listening to this and it's still like Cyber Monday.
[SPEAKER_00]: Go get yourself a Kindle.
[SPEAKER_00]: There is a good sale on Amazon right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I have the new paper white, the 7-inch one that's waterproof, absolutely love her, and I was very much.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love a physical book, kind of girl, but there is something about reading on the Kindle.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's almost like gamified.
[SPEAKER_00]: It makes you want to read more, and I have gotten my screen time down on my phone because of my Kindle.
[SPEAKER_00]: So...
[SPEAKER_00]: that's kind of what I've been obsessed with right now in terms of like life updates with working out because I feel like you guys are always curious about my workout routine.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am switching things up and might kind of be like put on halts with me traveling.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean it will be because I won't be working out as often, but I'm planning on introducing it to strength training days lower body focus a week.
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll see how that goes.
[SPEAKER_00]: You're probably thinking, Elena, how the hell are you going to fit that in?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to tone back on the reformer Pilates a bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely have been loving doing one hot mat Pilates sculpt type of class a week with two of my girlfriends.
[SPEAKER_00]: We love doing that Wednesday mornings.
[SPEAKER_00]: And one reformer class, either on a mega or more classical reformer, but I do want to do the two string training workouts a week.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been boxing once a week.
[SPEAKER_00]: Probably will go down to by a weekly come the new year, but really been loving switching it up and I'm excited to get back into string training.
[SPEAKER_00]: I use chat to make me a little workout plan.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I'll link it in the show notes so you can see what I'm planning on doing, but that's kind of where my head is at.
[SPEAKER_00]: But let's go into our AskLan question segment advice column segment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, seeing a new guy, he isn't a huge texture and it bothers me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I say something?
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I very much was someone where if they weren't text me a lot, I use that.
[SPEAKER_00]: as an indication if they liked me or how much they were into me and I have really learned that that is not a good indicator.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think a really good indicator of someone as into you is if they are taking initiative, if they're leading, if they're making a plan, if they're taking action, if their actions are matching their words, if they are wanting to make plans with you
[SPEAKER_00]: that they say they're going to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think speaks so much louder than how often someone is texting you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think texting too much especially early on into seeing someone can create this false sense of intimacy.
[SPEAKER_00]: You almost feel like you know them more than you actually do when in reality.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have only known them for a couple of hours, the amount of times.
[SPEAKER_00]: that you hung out during your day.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is so small in the grand scheme of things and you actually don't know this person at all, but texting too much too often, too quickly, in the beginning of getting to know someone, the beginning stages of building a relationship can really just create this false sense of intimacy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I'm almost tricks you into thinking, you know them better than you actually do.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: I think learn to like reframe your perspective on the texting.
[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, I don't know the context in which you mean he has an a huge texture.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it is not normal for some person that you are just starting to see to be texting you good morning and good night.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like me and my boyfriend only really started doing that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like once we started dating officially and even then like the good morning text are only like as as a recent.
[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely prefer phone calls over texting, and I think a lot of guys actually prefer that as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it's because you can communicate better, it's easier, it's more efficient, and it definitely feels more personable.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would really try to just let go of this connotation of
[SPEAKER_00]: have to be with a guy who's a huge texture.
[SPEAKER_00]: I honestly think if someone is texting you too much at the beginning, I think it's kind of like a red flag in a way like why are they texting you so much like a man should be busy working and not just be texting a girl all day.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just my two cents.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would say don't say something.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think it's worth bringing up I think watch their actions if he's asking you out following through making a plan for the date Being communicative in that sense and falling through on what he says he's gonna do things that he says He wants to do with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think just take that for face value and watch that as opposed to whether or not he's texting you
[SPEAKER_00]: every moment of every day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Advice for balancing wellness, but also wanting to go and drink in your early 20s in a new city.
[SPEAKER_00]: I personally have found like the best way to balance it, and I don't drink every single week.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I drink most weeks, but I reserve it for the weekend.
[SPEAKER_00]: So Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, or when I can drink.
[SPEAKER_00]: Friday Saturday night is when I can drink a bit more if I'd like, but Sunday night through at two Wednesday night, I am very strict on not drinking.
[SPEAKER_00]: The odd occasion will I have one or two drinks at dinner or whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, but I also have become very comfortable with going to dinner and not feeling the need to have an alcoholic beverage.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that is a really good way to balance it.
[SPEAKER_00]: My day through Friday, I'm pretty adamant about my workout routine, my morning routine, my night routine, my wellness rituals kind of staying on top being in a routine on a schedule.
[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, within balance, within flexibility, for different aspects of life, things come up.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a bench during the week, whatnot.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I plan on my workouts for during the week, if I end up working out on the weekend, that's great, but Monday through Friday is where I really prioritize wellness and working out and having home cooked meals and having an early night, a calming night routine, really prioritizing getting those eight hours of sleep.
[SPEAKER_00]: That sort of thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a night Friday Saturday Sunday a little bit looser and I think that's kind of the best way to balance things I think also like going out with your friends in your 20s in a new city or even like a city Vowies lived in
[SPEAKER_00]: You can also do wellness things together.
[SPEAKER_00]: For example, me and my two girlfriends every single Wednesday We go to work-o-class right in early 6 a.m. and then we'll grab coffee afterwards and honestly it's all of our highlights of the week We look forward to it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't involve drinking.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's still social time.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're building our relationships.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're doing something good for our body our mind, our soul, everything But we still got to be social and it doesn't involve drinking.
[SPEAKER_00]: So finding things that you can do
[SPEAKER_00]: Together, that don't necessarily involve drinking is also another way to find balance while still maintaining a social life and building connections and relationships with other people.
[SPEAKER_00]: Tips for sticking to a healthy routine with a partner, tend to drink more and eat less healthy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think this goes without saying, but I think that's a huge reason why it's so important to choose a partner who has similar values and morals and priorities in life.
[SPEAKER_00]: I learned very early on that I cannot be with someone.
[SPEAKER_00]: at least seriously, or honestly, I'm not even really attracted to people who don't prioritize their health and they're well-being mentally, physically, emotionally, all of it, so it's definitely easier to kind of stick to healthier routine with a partner who also prioritizes that with them themselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: But with that said, I did find I was struggling with this a little bit
[SPEAKER_00]: finding myself going out drinking more or having a lot more fast food or maybe eating more than I was used to and I think what I have decided will not what I think.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what I've decided to do to kind of get back into that healthy routine and to kind of reset everything is when I'm not with my partner, with my boyfriend.
[SPEAKER_00]: I am sticking to my good habits.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really focusing on that 80% of the 80-20.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm prioritizing my routine.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not drinking as much.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm making home cooked meals.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm choosing healthier choices.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when I'm with my partner, if I feel like having something healthier with him, then we will do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I will mention it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like say he suggests, let's go get a burger for dinner and I don't really feel like a burger.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want something a little lighter, a little fresher.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll suggest the option, and honestly, he's usually down, so that helps as well, but I think prioritizing your routines and kind of sticking more to that 80% of eating healthy, working out, etc.
[SPEAKER_00]: on your own, so that the 20% when you're with your partner, you can be a little bit looser, but also know that you can open, lay, communicate, and suggest
[SPEAKER_00]: healthier options to your partner or suggest to cook a meal together or to suggest an activity that doesn't involve drinking.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't always have to drink when you go out and I know a lot of people.
[SPEAKER_00]: This is definitely like a mental battle and it takes a little bit of adjusting to get used to.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you don't always have to be drinking when you go out.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can go to the movies with your partner You can go to a workout class together.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can watch a movie at home.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can bake you can cook There's like so many different things.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can go to a sports game a concert And you don't have to drink or you don't have to drink and insane amount like you don't have to necessarily get drunk Every single time you go out in the early stages of me and my boyfriend going out
[SPEAKER_00]: like one maybe two drinks and it was nice because we didn't overkill it and when we go out with his friends or my friends and we have a night, then like we drink more if we want, but I think there are very much ways to balance and to maintain a healthy routine with your partner especially if that is something they prioritize as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the case where you feel like you're very different from your partner in that regard They don't really prioritize it as much.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not really a non-negotiable for them That might be a little bit more difficult and I think maybe explaining to them like why Eating healthier or choosing a healthier option is important to you and if they love you If they want to build a life with you, they will try to see eye to eye
[SPEAKER_00]: with you and meet you in the middle and compromise and try to figure out something that works for both of you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Losing motivation at working out wise during winter, any advice.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's so hard when it's cold, you don't want to walk or commute to your workout class, it's darkerly,
[SPEAKER_00]: Dark in the mornings, it's dark in night, it's just cold and miserable out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I find leaning on more heated workouts during the winter, really helps.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I love a heated matplotties class, our hot yoga class, or even, I know this isn't really working out, but going to like, a sauna, cold plunge, hot cold therapy, spot, feels really nice.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think also booking and workouts, I know when I was going to just a standard gym.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would procrastinate so much, especially in the winter, especially because I would be walking there or taking the street car over to get there.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I would procrastinate it a lot.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think the biggest thing with finding ways to
[SPEAKER_00]: keep yourself disciplined and hold yourself accountable with workouts is to remove any barriers or any friction or any pain points.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, I find I am the most consistent with working out when I'm going to workout classes.
[SPEAKER_00]: I book all my workout classes in, I know what time they start, I know it's time to end, and I don't have to think about curating the workout routine, I just go, I show up,
[SPEAKER_00]: I do my workout, there's a cancellation fee if I like cancel.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know my schedule, I have my teachers that I like, I have my studios that I like, and I find that that has allowed me to be the most consistent.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I used to be a hater.
[SPEAKER_00]: on group fitness as like you can't progress blah blah blah and like i think yes and no to a degree but i think the biggest thing with working out is being consistent whatever that consistency looks like for you so if booking and workout classes as opposed to going to the gym is what's going to keep you consistent there is no shame there's no harm in that there's only benefit
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think also creating social plans around going to a workout class or rewarding yourself after your Friday morning workout class with a coffee from your favorite shop for showing up every single day that week or whatever days it was that you had those workout classes booked.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's a great way to build that habit cycle and not habit loop.
[SPEAKER_00]: feeling confident in male, heavy workplace, especially when a lot of the guys are acting cold.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, as you guys know, I may be you don't know your new here.
[SPEAKER_00]: I worked for myself, so, and I've never worked in a predominantly male, super corporate work environment, so I asked two of my girlfriends.
[SPEAKER_00]: to give me their advice.
[SPEAKER_00]: They both work in pretty corporate environments, one works in like investment sales, other one works in cyber security, and both with very predominantly male teams.
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is what one of my girlfriend said.
[SPEAKER_00]: She has, she said she hasn't really experienced the acting cold part, but she'd say she's learned.
[SPEAKER_00]: to stay confident by focusing on what she can control, competence, presence, and consistency.
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of guys especially in competitive or sales roles default to being a bit cold or standoffish.
[SPEAKER_00]: Just can't take it personally most of the time, it's not about you at all just how they operate.
[SPEAKER_00]: My other friend said, I think just focusing on your work, it's more about internal validation than external when you work with men, and the more you can be proud of what you bring to the
[SPEAKER_00]: You got it in a weird way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like people respect people who don't need it and then she continued to say I don't know the more I don't give a fuck the more people respect me as someone who frequently was one of the boys With her MBA and undergrad friend groups.
[SPEAKER_00]: She still thinks it's cuz I treat them like my brother So that is kind of what they said on that
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it definitely is.
[SPEAKER_00]: It can be hard to show up as a woman, especially if it's in like finance, or investment banking, a lot of the times.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's so that gender discrimination, like women are looked down upon or the males get the promotions before the woman and whatnot.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've heard such insane stories from my friends who have worked in those fields.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think just like
[SPEAKER_00]: focusing on how you're showing up as opposed to comparing yourself to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's, you don't necessarily have to be one of the boys that necessarily, that won't necessarily bring you what you're looking for.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think comparison is the thief of joy and if you try to be someone else,
[SPEAKER_00]: you're not going to perform as well so just show up authentically as yourself put in the work put your head down be confident in what you bring to the table and I guess this goes a little bit against what I'm saying but I would say act and think like a man I'm currently reading the confidence code so I would recommend that I'm
[SPEAKER_00]: Not that deep end, but a very much is discussing the difference between male and female confidence, especially in the workplace, and trying to figure out the psychology around why men, um, what is the word.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not exude, but like,
[SPEAKER_00]: portray confidence so differently to women and how women struggle with imposter syndrome or feeling that they're not worthy of their accomplishments or their achievements or the milestones in the same way that men would be.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would recommend picking up the confidence code.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it would be a really eye-opening book for you and think and act like a man.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like a man
[SPEAKER_00]: Like they don't even know that they don't even have majority of the requirements, they would just go for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like act confident and no one will question you type of mentality.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you balance Pilates, Cardio and Strength training?
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel overwhelmed.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is definitely ongoing battle and I'm
[SPEAKER_00]: no professional when it comes to this.
[SPEAKER_00]: It definitely is a variety every week.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not the same every week.
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe that will change as I introduce my more structured strength training plan.
[SPEAKER_00]: Pilates is my main form of movement.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's what I feel the best in.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I usually prioritize that.
[SPEAKER_00]: As of right now, I've been doing one reformer, one mat class, a week cardio.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just stack with my mat class because I'm already sweaty and gross from that so I'll just walk on the treadmill after that or throw it in on an active rest day and then strength training I try to do one to two times a week whether it be a hit class or boxing or a lift or anything involving weights but just kind of figuring out the balance that works for me.
[SPEAKER_00]: How long have I been recording for 24 minutes?
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: I do have to start getting ready for dinner shortly.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to answer one final question and that is the best glow-up tips for girls in their 20s.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember answering this on my stories and I felt really good about my answer.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you guys don't know, I do ask land on my stories on Mondays on Instagram.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't see my archive on my computer.
[SPEAKER_00]: you are kind of okay well i'm gonna try think of this answer off the top of my head i think one of the best things that i have done especially this year because i feel like i have gone through a mental and physical glow up if you will this year at least i really feel that way and i spoke a bit about this on last week's pod episode
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think really learning how to decenter men or whoever your love interest is is so important and learning instead to put that energy into one giving yourself validation internally and not needing it externally from men or women whoever.
[SPEAKER_00]: whether it be romantic partners or platelonic or work whatever it is and learning what lights a fire under you like what gives you purpose and fulfillment in your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: What are things that you genuinely love spending your time doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like find
[SPEAKER_00]: hobbies.
[SPEAKER_00]: Educate yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: Read books.
[SPEAKER_00]: Education is so powerful as a woman.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is tied directly to your independence, so I encourage you that even if you aren't in school anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even if you are in school, like, to not just read fiction books all the time, I encourage you to pick up a non-fiction book and to learn and educate and gain knowledge on something.
[SPEAKER_00]: It can literally be anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that will also tie to an increased self-esteem and increase self-confidence.
[SPEAKER_00]: and increase sense of self, knowledge is power.
[SPEAKER_00]: The more you know, the better, and I think that is the most attractive thing that any young woman can have and any young woman can gain.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think you should want to continuously be a student.
[SPEAKER_00]: throughout the whole duration of your life.
[SPEAKER_00]: It shouldn't just stop when you're secondary, like high school education stops.
[SPEAKER_00]: It shouldn't stop when your college or university degree is done.
[SPEAKER_00]: You should be continuing to learn and push boundaries and push the limits as to what you know and what you can hold in your brain.
[SPEAKER_00]: regularly.
[SPEAKER_00]: So whether it's from a podcast, reading books, taking courses, whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I encourage you to go out and to learn more whether it's self-improvement or a topic, whatever it is, hobbies, education.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think also prioritizing your wellness, your health is so important.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like it's so easy to not care and sometimes people can think that it's cool, especially in your early 20s.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think caring about your health is really hot.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think having a stable, consistent routine.
[SPEAKER_00]: is really attractive and I think it does wonders for your mental health and our mental health impacts how we physically show up, how we mentally show up obviously.
[SPEAKER_00]: So creating a morning and night routine that works really good for you a weekly routine if you will.
[SPEAKER_00]: That works good for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Making home cooked meals, learning new recipes, learning out what workouts work for you, being consistent with your workout routine.
[SPEAKER_00]: fueling your body, taking care of your body.
[SPEAKER_00]: Being on top of your hygiene, like showering, taking a full the shower, like taking time to care and pamper for yourself, getting ready every single day.
[SPEAKER_00]: These little things compound over time and will allow you to truly show up as your best and tie yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think, and I say this all the time, the people we surround ourselves are our reflection of ourselves, our reflection of our relationship with ourselves
[SPEAKER_00]: the amount of respect that we have for ourselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think to really choose carefully who you're spending a lot of your time with, who you are letting in to the deepest, darkest parts of you.
[SPEAKER_00]: And with that said, that also follows through on what sort of content you're consuming, what books are you reading, social media accounts are you following, what TV shows,
[SPEAKER_00]: movies are you watching?
[SPEAKER_00]: You are the top five people you hang out with and you are the top five people who's content you consume.
[SPEAKER_00]: So choose carefully, be wise and if something feels toxic or like it's no longer serving you.
[SPEAKER_00]: you are allowed to walk away.
[SPEAKER_00]: You are allowed to separate yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to still be best friends with the girl that you are friends with in middle school kindergarten high school university.
[SPEAKER_00]: If that relationship is no longer aligning for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you are no longer growing in the same direction at the same pace and you've truly communicated your needs.
[SPEAKER_00]: And all of that, you are allowed to walk away.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think one of the best things I have done in my 20s is learning.
[SPEAKER_00]: When something was no longer working.
[SPEAKER_00]: When I no longer had the same priorities, morals, values, as friends that were in my life, that I felt like I was no longer in a healthy relationship with them, because I think we prioritized
[SPEAKER_00]: And focus discussion around toxic romantic relationships, but what about toxic friendships?
[SPEAKER_00]: I do think they can equally impact us in a negative way as does a romantic partner, if not more, especially as females.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we have really deep.
[SPEAKER_00]: connections with people who are close to us and when that becomes toxic it can really impact yourself as soon the way you view yourself the way you talk to yourself the way you respect yourself so don't be afraid to separate yourself from someone it doesn't mean you are a bad person it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you you're allowed to take space people grow part it is okay it is normal it is healthy and you will find your people
[SPEAKER_00]: I way rather have two really good amazing friends who I have never had to ask to be a good friend then five or more kind of shitty friends that I continuously have to almost beg for them to treat me better.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that is embarrassing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know Vogue had that article having a boyfriend is embarrassing blah blah blah whatever.
[SPEAKER_00]: I read the whole article and all that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think having shitty friends is also embarrassing, so I hope you enjoyed this episode.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope there is something that you could take away from it.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you ever have any questions that you want to submit into Askland, I always leave the Askland advice form in the show notes.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can send it in there.
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's a bit more timely because I only do the Askland on the pod once a month, you can send it in to my month, not my monthly.
[SPEAKER_00]: My weekly Askland Advice columns on my Instagram stories.
[SPEAKER_00]: I do them Monday.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll post a question box and then I'll answer them on my stories.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I hope you have a lovely rest of your week.
[SPEAKER_00]: A lovely rest of your day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you enjoyed.
[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure to leave a rating or review on Apple podcast or Spotify.
[SPEAKER_00]: That is how you can help support my pod.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was going to say, and that's what we said.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been listening to that podcast so much.
[SPEAKER_00]: Love you guys so much and we'll chat soon.
[SPEAKER_00]: Bye guys.