WEBVTT

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[SPEAKER_00]: I love that sweet, sweet sound.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it's kind of low-key and all those.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I just start booming at the mouth.

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[SPEAKER_00]: When I know I'm talking to you, comfy it on.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So, well, go to another episode of Confidently into Care, the Buckeyes, and we're absolutely sure.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We don't know everything.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I am your host, Kelsey.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Mother, Buckeyes, Dara, and Buckeyes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What would you have some fuckin' housekeeping for you guys?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

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[SPEAKER_00]: A lot's going on.

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[SPEAKER_00]: When is life normal here?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Shit.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Things always seem to be happening.

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[SPEAKER_00]: There's I've been so like behind the scenes in life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It feels like I'm like behind the camera.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That I feel like I haven't been very forward facing on the social.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I just I've been so

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[SPEAKER_00]: in raptured by the documentary editing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And because this is my podcast and I can do and say whatever I want and tell you all the secrets and the exciting stuff, I am going to tell you all first that the documentary I've been working on for three years is finally going to be released.

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[SPEAKER_00]: on Patreon's streaming platform called Moment.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So Moment.co online.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And Moment is there like live streaming app service.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And we will be showing an exclusive streaming live premiere.

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[SPEAKER_00]: this year and a little bit over a month and change.

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[SPEAKER_00]: This is the movie I've been working on with regard to restorative justice as it pertains to sexual assault.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it's chronicling the journey of fellow podcast guest of Marley List.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So excited for you guys to see my first ever feature movie debut directing and like this has been a labor of love for so long and I think it's the biggest project I've ever taken on like stakes wise

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[SPEAKER_00]: because it's the first time I've ever done something independently like this like before when I made my big projects back at BuzzFeed or like Brandeels and stuff there's always a partner on it but this is the first time I've like made a movie and it's gonna be released and it's gonna be seen and we're having a digital premiere and there will be a Q&A afterwards with me and Marley and there were so many people advocating in championing this movie.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it almost didn't happen, and we were so, so grateful and excited when Petrians Platform Moment came on to help us fund the rest of the film.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And not only that, but like gave us a platform to also show the film.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I would have released the title yet, because we just have to do a few like clear and stuff like that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But it's so wild to me that I can't even believe I'm like saying this, but I've like accidentally fallen into this career path of making movies around social justice.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, for those of you have been following the pot for a long time, you guys know that I made a documentary before about justice for Syraea.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And while it was so exciting to sell that to LeBron James's production company, Hollywood does a Hollywood thing, and it has not seen

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[SPEAKER_00]: the light of day yet for various reasons.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I still hope that that one will eventually be shown whether I get to release it or someone buys it or they sell it to someone, but his company essentially got acquired by James.

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[SPEAKER_00]: cordon's company and like it's a whole Hollywood thing and I I really fear that we've like missed the timeline like the boat on that one just because her case was so long ago now like five plus years and I think it had such momentum during the pandemic when it was getting picked up all over social media and stuff and like millions of people followed it and followed along and so

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm hoping we can somehow revamp this and that's really where like my love for making like social justice stuff came in to play and

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[SPEAKER_00]: you know, I did a lot of unscripted stuff at Buzzfeed, but it was short-form and it was really quick and like one subject matter and then I was out, like a lot of you remember the documentary I made about or like the mini doc I should say about CBD and smoking CBD for my chronic pain journey and it was like that little stuff that I'd always had this goal of having like my own version of Chelsea does on Netflix, but it was like my version of it and

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[SPEAKER_00]: While it all started out as like comedy stuff first, it naturally just fell into like wanting to help people stories get seen with platform I have.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm so, so, so freaking excited to tell you guys to mark your calendars for December 17th this year, just over a little over a month and change and we're like still working on the movie.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not even done yet, but we haven't the premiere date.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So we have a deadline.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We have a goal.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I will obviously be blasting the shit out of all of the socials and promotions and stuff.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I wanted to give you a confidence exclusive first that it will be December 17th is our release date.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's exciting.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What else?

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[SPEAKER_00]: How is keeping?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Bing, bong.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How's keeping?

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[SPEAKER_00]: We had the documentary editing release date December 17th.

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[SPEAKER_00]: y'all know I've been talking about this like potentially I keep saying potentially I'm doing it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's I've found someone to sublyce my apartment.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I am bringing hip-o with we've got people helping to board and how's my cats because they're too old to travel that far my sweet boys And I'm only gonna be gone for like five six months, but I'm going to be like living in Germany and I always thought I'd be going at the top of the year, but I think my bitch has might be going

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[SPEAKER_00]: literally in December, like I will be doing the live stream of the premiere from Barcelona, which is not Germany.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I know that, but my sister shot a magnet, a big fan, number one fan of the pod probably.

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[SPEAKER_00]: She's freezing her eggs and turns out it's fucking cheaper to do it over there in Europe.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm sure I'll do an episode about that with her over there to kind of like Chronicle the process and my mom's coming with us is gonna be like a girl's trip But then we're meeting the athlete over there since he's already in Germany And this would be Christmas time when Christmas market's the idea.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I was like Why am I gonna go all the way over to Barcelona to only then come back home for the holidays and then go right back around in January That makes no sense

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[SPEAKER_00]: So the timeline got like bummed up a month and I'm putting all of these pieces together last minute, but I keep just telling myself like this would be a crazy opportunity not to take up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like when the hell am I ever going to get this chance again to have a reason to go over there have like work being a place where I can actually make stuff and be excited about it and like

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[SPEAKER_00]: This year in Hollywood was very hard.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was not able to save a single dime.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was working project a project this year.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like getting the expenses off my shoulders of like the rent and the regular medical insurance.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I won't have that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll have like the travelers insurance.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I won't have to pay for my car because it'll be on a non-operating license for a little bit.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like there's just all these huge expensive where I think I'll be able to actually save this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: coming season.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, I'm just casually putting my entire life into like three giant suitcases and also having to figure out how to get hippos stuff over there and trying to like keep my relationship together during this crazy time and the holidays and the movie and also, oh yeah, my book is coming out soon.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So your girl's like crazy busy without actually making any

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, like I'm hoping all of that will come, but it just feels like a lot of doing doing doing without seeing anything.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, what I'm telling you about that bar.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So loan a travel.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Also, just a little housekeeping.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can still find the merch with Freddie Tyler Paul.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that's right.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Your girl is wearing it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: As you can see here, the don't talk to me until I've had my Lex Pro Laced ice coffee that is the merch with Freddie Tyler Paul.

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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's get into it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's sprinkle in a few stories from our listeners because you guys always have the best frickin' tea.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I put out a call last week to ask you guys to give me stories about times that you called out men

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[SPEAKER_00]: in public, essentially.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like your favorite calling men out stories.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what this episode is about.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I had seen all the hot goss around Lily Allen's new album and everyone who's just absolutely gaggy and totally freaking, uh,

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[SPEAKER_00]: mesmerized by her take down of David harbour from stranger things her ex-husband that i'm like alright we need to do an episode it had me thinking about like times i've ever called out men or shitty people and shitty behavior and i feel like in the day and age we live in

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's easier and you got to be a little cautious these days about call out culture, calling people in versus calling them out about how to do it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How do you call out shitty men the right way?

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[SPEAKER_00]: This is a safe fucking space, okay?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And if you have someone in your life that you think deserves to be dragged a little bit, I'm feeling spicy this episode.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna get into it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How can we make men like dumbest fuck and pay for their behavior?

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[SPEAKER_00]: This is a very vengeful episode.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Can you tell I could do this?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I would love a chance to do this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like I haven't publicly called out a lot of men just because I'm really good at hurting them and private with my words like when they deserve it, I know how to cut a bitch and I don't always need to do it publicly, but I do love a public call out like if I was really Allen, I would absolutely do what she did, I think is iconic what a way.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But let's sprinkle in a few stories from our listeners that I asked you guys to submit times that you called out men publicly.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How did it go down?

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[SPEAKER_00]: What were the deeds?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Was it successful?

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[SPEAKER_00]: What can we learn from y'all?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And we have a couple of stories.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's dive right in.

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[SPEAKER_00]: First up, we have a story from a listening Jess.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Jess, shout out, girl, without coming on.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Jess wrote in and said, okay, so I once had this boss who constantly took credit for my work in meetings.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It drove me nuts.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So one day in a team meeting where I was presenting an idea that he tried to steal, I very calmly said, actually, I'd love to walk everyone through how I developed

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[SPEAKER_00]: and I laid out all the details in a presentation with receipts and documents and emails that were dated.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I put dates in times in bold and in red and large font on the presentation.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The room went kind of quiet and my boss just nodded along.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Totally caught off guard.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He was not used to me taking the charge and after that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He never tried to take credit for my work again.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's a good successful subtle callout, isn't it?

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[SPEAKER_00]: She says that callout was super successful because I did it in a really professional but firm way and basically wanted to just set the record straight.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I feel like that's a really good example of a successful callout where you're just like calmly reclaiming your own work and not letting someone else take credit.

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[SPEAKER_00]: which reminded me of the one time I was involved in a public feud during my days at Buzzfeed, where I kind of fucking can't even remember the girl's name.

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[SPEAKER_00]: God, she was known for being kind of a troll and like starting drama and shit, like that she was always on the drama channels, but she had like me, of course she was a white woman.

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[SPEAKER_00]: She had like me to video talking about how Buzzfeed was stealing her ideas because we both went to go visit a crystal healer for videos.

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[SPEAKER_00]: she had posted her video before us, but we had actually filmed, and then dumbass, she had posted a video being like, here's all the dates that I filmed.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Basically, giving us the proof and our answer us to turn around and be like, you ding-dong, here's our receipts.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like,

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[SPEAKER_00]: there before yours.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Here's all and what's so funny is I was so not excited about this video that I filmed like I shot it and then sat on the footage and did other projects and Buzzfeed for months.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And my manager kept me like, where happened in the video?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Where's that video?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I can't do it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It just like wasn't a good video.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't really care about it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I genuinely was like not excited about it because I didn't think we like learned that much from it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was, it was a good video wasn't a great video and at that point in my career, I was only wanting to put out a great shit and it was a chronic pain video.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, this is a very personal story and it didn't feel like it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was that impressive of a tale.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I remember she was getting a bunch of other like trolls and Buzzfeed haters to like tweet at the company and say we're saying our ideas and specifically me and them to the dada.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I told her she wasn't that memorable because she had claimed that we were Facebook friends and Phil DeFranco called me basically an asshole because that what I said was mean, and I was like, I don't give a fuck.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But the company was like, why don't we just put out our receipts and in a comment or like, you are so mouthy and aggressive with your report

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't we let us take the Jesus take the wheel and CEO Daddy help put together a little like media article I think was the platform we published it on basically being like

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[SPEAKER_00]: Recently we have heard about the claims that we are stealing video ideas from people here are the dates we went to shot here at the time stamps here's like the video footage And like I obviously I think that shot her up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if she ended up saying something like well Even if you guys shot it before me you saw my edit and then that girl I promise you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't give a fuck who you are.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't see your shit

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[SPEAKER_00]: But that article we had written reminded me of this story that Sam wrote in, excuse me, not Sam, that Sam's our next person, just that wrote in, talking about how it was just like, here's the proven facts, do it then what you will, team, and hopefully everyone saw that and was like, you know, she's been the brains behind this all along.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So now let's go to another listener Sam.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Sam wrote in with a relationship call out story.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So Sam said, I found out my boyfriend of four years was still texting his ex and he was lying to me about it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: When he was in the shower, I went through his phone, not proud of that, but needed to listen to my intuition and confirmed it in Instagram DMs.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What a ding-dong.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They don't even ever remember to check the Instagram DMs.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I just screenshoted the text, send them to myself or the messages, send them to myself and then printed them out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I booked a reservation at the restaurant we had our first date at.

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[SPEAKER_00]: During the dinner, I calmly reach into my tote, pull out the packet, slide it across the table, like it's the final offer in a corporate merger and say, so.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to explain this?

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[SPEAKER_00]: The look on his face was priceless and he couldn't lie his way out of it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was making sure everyone seated around us could hear me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He stammered something about context, but babe, the screenshots had context, time stamps, emojis, red receipts.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I had already known at this point I was going to break up with him, but now

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[SPEAKER_00]: Before I got my meal, I know that's right.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, including appetizers and wine.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And when the waiter came to check on us, I told him that my now X, my now X would be paying for our meal and left him there.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I went home and packed as much as I could.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I needed until the official move out and slept like a baby with a full belly.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Ah!

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[SPEAKER_00]: I love that one.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I love a planned call out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, like this really had a lot of thought behind it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what are my exit strategies?

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[SPEAKER_00]: The nostalgia ad of booking a reservation at your first date restaurant.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He probably went in there thinking this won't be a cute little cozy restaurant, but she really was really like, I'm going to make you remember all the best parts about our relationships and falling in love.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm going to show you your own betrayal in context of physical proof.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then you have to pay for my delicious meal.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I know that steak tasted so good.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever she ate, I imagine it's steak and lobster because that's always the most expensive thing on a reservation at a restaurant, but I have to imagine that she had probably tasted extra juicy, I love it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and then finally, let's do one that didn't go as smoothly.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So we have a story from Alex.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Alex said,

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[SPEAKER_00]: I tried to call out my friend's boyfriend for cheating because I thought I was helping.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I did it in a group chat with all our friends, thinking I was exposing the truth.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But it totally backfired because she got super defensive, felt ambushed and ended up siding with him.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If I could do it over, I'd talk to her, I'd just talk to her privately and share what I knew without making it a public thing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So that sucks.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's a bummer because basically the callout negated the actual problem which sounds like was this man cheating and I think it's I wish I knew more details about the actual event but doing it in a group chat.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So funny because it makes me be like did the other group chat members know this was coming Did you give them the heads up that you needed them to back you up because I'm 100% done that I've gone outside the group chat texts of people and been like when I say this thing I need you guys to like it's everyone out there phones right now, so we can you know all do this together

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll lead the charge, but I need, you know, support, and I wonder if it was just full crickets or if people were to afraid to say something, I fully have been in the room with the group chat ease minus one person and told everyone, I was like, this is what I'm going to say, have your paragraphs ready to go after mine, because I don't want too much time doing, and like, I think

19:33.215 --> 19:50.380
[SPEAKER_00]: it's unfortunate that the girl he popped in this case cited with the man because she felt blindsided and I mean maybe this friend of yours didn't appreciate the what felt like an attack maybe on her but I think.

19:50.360 --> 19:58.255
[SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully the idea was that Alex was trying to have a supportive environment where it was like see it's not just me feeling this way.

19:58.295 --> 19:59.638
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all of us.

19:59.678 --> 20:04.788
[SPEAKER_00]: I speak for the group when I say, but like that sucks.

20:05.349 --> 20:11.541
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just a bummer because I feel like if you're a girl that trusts to your group chat friends,

20:11.521 --> 20:19.536
[SPEAKER_00]: if they were all coming to you with the same story, that would make my ears for sure perk up.

20:20.117 --> 20:24.866
[SPEAKER_00]: I am a hundred percent trusting my girl group chat if they tell me some tea.

20:25.046 --> 20:28.012
[SPEAKER_00]: If they tell me some shit and they're all chiming in, yes.

20:28.492 --> 20:31.538
[SPEAKER_00]: If just one person was saying stuff,

20:32.007 --> 20:45.492
[SPEAKER_00]: It would depend on the group chat, I think it would depend on the group chat, but if it's like my top five to group chats, oh, that would be tough to hear just one person, but I think I'd have to believe them, cause it's a mark.

20:45.512 --> 20:50.742
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to any of y'all have friends in your life like that, where they're like a write a die, a bestie, but like if they told you something you'd be like.

20:52.240 --> 20:53.585
[SPEAKER_00]: they just being drama.

20:54.628 --> 20:54.970
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.

20:55.050 --> 21:02.155
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I have a lot of people like that my life, but there are a few that are like how much what I take the word of phase value versus like investigate it more.

21:02.175 --> 21:02.757
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?

21:03.766 --> 21:05.789
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so what did we learn here, right?

21:05.909 --> 21:10.715
[SPEAKER_00]: What is the formula for a good call out?

21:10.835 --> 21:24.913
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, there are those callouts that sometimes don't go as planned, which is basically just a good, like, top of the line reminder that if you are going to do a call out,

21:24.893 --> 21:26.777
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you better be ready for response.

21:27.038 --> 21:36.578
[SPEAKER_00]: There's nothing worse than planning the strongest, most eloquent, sassy fucking call out and then getting hit with a pretty good response.

21:36.879 --> 21:38.904
[SPEAKER_00]: And being like, oh, okay.

21:39.204 --> 21:39.445
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.

21:39.465 --> 21:40.206
[SPEAKER_00]: That was saucy.

21:40.467 --> 21:40.808
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

21:40.908 --> 21:42.932
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't have anything in the chamber ready to go.

21:43.033 --> 21:43.273
[SPEAKER_00]: So,

21:43.253 --> 21:54.156
[SPEAKER_00]: We've got to make sure that we have backup, right, whether that's receipts, screenshots, timestamped data, other people who can backup the call out.

21:54.216 --> 21:58.866
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I mean, I'm even thinking of this in like a grander scale of like when the me two movement happened.

21:58.846 --> 22:17.307
[SPEAKER_00]: I think those women must have been so brave to tell their story without anyone else knowing that people that just came forward, oh man that is a survivors dilemma too is like I want the truth out there but I want to be believed and it's so unfortunate that like 98% of cases don't go to trial when it comes to like the heavy shit.

22:18.288 --> 22:22.693
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that's why we've turned to social media

22:22.673 --> 22:26.721
[SPEAKER_00]: instances because we know the court align gonna do shit.

22:27.222 --> 22:39.687
[SPEAKER_00]: So how can we get justice on our own accord and it's often with like public shaming in a rich or muted model and some people, you know, sometimes that's what you need to do.

22:39.667 --> 22:41.269
[SPEAKER_00]: to people is the public all out.

22:41.289 --> 22:42.511
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the only way that they're going to change.

22:42.551 --> 22:43.792
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the only way that they're going to respond.

22:43.812 --> 22:45.815
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the only way to keep people safe.

22:46.255 --> 22:50.341
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of times it's just for like messy tea, you know what I'm saying?

22:50.801 --> 23:01.675
[SPEAKER_00]: And especially if we're going to get a response and it's like messy tea, you better have like three or four alternatives of what you could say back if they're going to hit you back with some shit, right?

23:01.655 --> 23:03.939
[SPEAKER_00]: like, I think I'm pretty good at that.

23:04.080 --> 23:06.123
[SPEAKER_00]: That would be where I'd excel.

23:06.324 --> 23:10.031
[SPEAKER_00]: If you need a good return back to something, someone said, do you have to call out?

23:10.111 --> 23:10.512
[SPEAKER_00]: Hit me up.

23:10.572 --> 23:11.353
[SPEAKER_00]: I might be able to help you.

23:12.495 --> 23:23.055
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes you have to obviously note that doing any of these kinds of callouts in public, whether it's on social media or like physically in public, like at the rush hour,

23:24.014 --> 23:25.757
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to become a public spot, right?

23:25.777 --> 23:27.039
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, people are going to be able to put in their two cents.

23:27.059 --> 23:27.701
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone might ask you to leave.

23:27.721 --> 23:28.101
[SPEAKER_00]: It could get messy.

23:28.121 --> 23:28.983
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think about back in high school.

23:29.003 --> 23:39.762
[SPEAKER_00]: This was, you know, pre-social needs where, like, we were always so excited when a girl was going to like, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come,

23:39.742 --> 24:02.813
[SPEAKER_00]: run somebody at a party and we were like oh my god we got like we're all rushing over there we're all like oh my god this is it like she's gonna fight up what's gonna happen and we just don't have that environment as much anymore and so you know nowadays what's written on the internet is forever people will screenshot that shit they will download your TikToks they will do whatever so if you're gonna do a public call out

24:02.793 --> 24:04.094
[SPEAKER_00]: You better have your facts straight.

24:04.535 --> 24:06.576
[SPEAKER_00]: You better be ready to retort.

24:06.877 --> 24:08.658
[SPEAKER_00]: And you got to go in with the confidence, right?

24:08.718 --> 24:18.607
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're unsure, you do some mere mantra work or do a little bit more investigative reporting on your incident before you come out there and put yourself out there like that.

24:19.968 --> 24:32.800
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you don't always, if you don't want the public spat and that's not always the vibe someone is going for,

24:32.780 --> 24:37.356
[SPEAKER_00]: right and prepared for whatever may come next in that instance.

24:37.572 --> 24:41.957
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, so if you're thinking about doing a call out, what else do you need to know?

24:41.997 --> 24:44.679
[SPEAKER_00]: Because, uh, let's be real.

24:44.719 --> 24:46.681
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of us have that urge at times.

24:47.262 --> 24:54.970
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's easy to act on emotion and as like a reaction rather than a thought out response.

24:55.751 --> 25:02.438
[SPEAKER_00]: And this best story times and the best T times I fall into on TikTok are people that have like clearly thought this out.

25:02.498 --> 25:06.482
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not acting off of emotion.

25:06.462 --> 25:23.813
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I said, have your receipts, have your evidence, it's going to make your case a lot stronger if you can provide the proof and think about tone right like another angle of my favorite TikTok tease and story times and things like that are told with a tone of humor or

25:23.793 --> 25:52.888
[SPEAKER_00]: like outrage or poking fun at like always being like I'm not that mad but or like I'm not expecting anything from this company but y'all should know or like I'm not trying to take down this major corporation but like I think if you add a tone to it people are going to be more engaged and like lean in a little bit more if you're

25:52.868 --> 25:56.093
[SPEAKER_00]: And think about like what do you want out of it, right?

25:56.153 --> 25:57.936
[SPEAKER_00]: Like what's your goal?

25:58.156 --> 26:00.400
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you out for justice?

26:00.540 --> 26:02.904
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you out for motherfucking heads and blood?

26:03.925 --> 26:07.591
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you doing this just event or worn others?

26:08.793 --> 26:13.240
[SPEAKER_00]: And think about that when you're going into it and just be clear on like what's your why?

26:13.220 --> 26:19.347
[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, like I said, sometimes it is better to do things in private, and that's totally okay too.

26:19.467 --> 26:31.721
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, if it's going to cause more drama than you're able to handle stress-wise, sometimes it's better to just do things one-on-one or within your community, etc., etc.

26:31.761 --> 26:33.744
[SPEAKER_00]: within the friendship circle within your group.

26:34.745 --> 26:42.754
[SPEAKER_00]: But you all know me when it has to with men, I say, drag them through the courtyard, drag them through the public square, make fun of them as hard as

26:42.920 --> 27:05.911
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, before I go off to a break, uh, want to remind y'all that, um, to set your calendars, set an invite for December 17th, that is the date of the premiere where you're going to learn a little bit more about calling people out and retroputative models and social justice and all that jazz.

27:06.111 --> 27:10.277
[SPEAKER_00]: So even though I didn't mean for that announcement to tie into this episode's theme, it kind of does.

27:10.257 --> 27:16.714
[SPEAKER_00]: He, okay, when I come back, we're gonna talk about celebrity but callouts in the best of the best of them.

27:16.915 --> 27:19.963
[SPEAKER_00]: Beer, beee!

27:25.124 --> 27:34.374
[SPEAKER_00]: Now let's dive, or right on into some of the juiciest, most iconic celebrity calls of all time.

27:34.414 --> 27:38.378
[SPEAKER_00]: The kind of that makes us grab our popcorn and go, oh, no, she didn't.

27:38.498 --> 27:39.559
[SPEAKER_00]: Did she just say that?

27:39.719 --> 27:40.681
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm playing that line again.

27:40.721 --> 27:41.481
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to do that again.

27:43.764 --> 27:43.844
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.

27:43.864 --> 27:48.729
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, I'm having a smoothie for dinner, which is a choice, but I didn't go or show me this week.

27:48.749 --> 27:49.630
[SPEAKER_00]: So.

27:50.757 --> 27:58.126
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so let's start with Lily Allen, because this whole drama between her and her ex-husband just has me absolutely gaggy.

27:59.448 --> 28:11.483
[SPEAKER_00]: So she drops this album, West End Girl, that has basically turned the internet into a pop culture war zone battleground earthquake out of nowhere.

28:11.463 --> 28:13.687
[SPEAKER_00]: Fans immediately start dissecting.

28:13.707 --> 28:15.090
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, they don't have to dissect.

28:15.250 --> 28:21.882
[SPEAKER_00]: It's pretty over what the lyrics are, calling out her ex David Harber.

28:23.625 --> 28:33.623
[SPEAKER_00]: Lily Allen, it called the record auto fiction, which is half real, half imagined, chronicle of heartbreak in revenge, which

28:33.603 --> 28:42.577
[SPEAKER_00]: Makes me think she just said that for legal reasons, right, like she has, she has to say, oh, yeah, you know, some of it's based on my real life and experience and some of it.

28:42.597 --> 28:46.283
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just like, you know, a macamation of the entities I've gone through.

28:46.303 --> 28:50.650
[SPEAKER_00]: But insiders are saying that harbor.

28:50.630 --> 29:09.634
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, the star of Stranger Things is absolutely humiliated by the album talking all about his sex addiction, betrayal, and open marriage rules gone wrong, the album's most talks about track pussy palaces.

29:09.817 --> 29:27.066
[SPEAKER_00]: Pussy Palace, Pussy Palace, Reference is a room filled with sex toys, butt plugs, lube inside hundreds of children, of children, a verse that is interpreted as this motherfucker had a problem.

29:27.046 --> 29:31.611
[SPEAKER_00]: This guy had a problem, and she did not spare any details.

29:31.631 --> 29:33.873
[SPEAKER_00]: She's not going to tell you exactly what was in that Dwayne rebag.

29:35.155 --> 29:37.377
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to tell you exactly the receipts, literally.

29:38.418 --> 29:51.332
[SPEAKER_00]: Another song, Madeline Allen appears to call out his alleged affair with costume designer, Natalie Tippett, though I think other people are saying that there is another woman.

29:51.312 --> 30:00.826
[SPEAKER_00]: involved who has come out recently to say that yes, it's about her and no, she doesn't want to comment because she's busy, which is such a funny response.

30:01.867 --> 30:14.485
[SPEAKER_00]: In Asakshi, things about a lover who broke the agreement, Allen says, we had an arrangement, be discreet and don't be blatant, there had to be a payment.

30:14.768 --> 30:16.410
[SPEAKER_00]: had to be with strangers.

30:17.171 --> 30:25.483
[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, looting to the couple's open relationship and their marriage being under strict conditions.

30:25.543 --> 30:28.768
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, someone takes you like someone's a not as an open relationship go.

30:28.788 --> 30:35.157
[SPEAKER_00]: He there are certainly successful relationships that have very clear boundaries.

30:35.137 --> 30:36.639
[SPEAKER_00]: I hate the term rules.

30:36.979 --> 31:03.570
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like that makes it feel like a versus rather than a team when you guys are on the same team If one person suddenly reveals that they are playing for the other team you're like, bro What the fuck that is the ultimate form of betrayal like we are literally imagine as football You're telling me you're up my fucking wide receiver and Suddenly you're running the other way the fuck I'm gonna be so pissed What do I put all this money in time and relationship ever into if you're just gonna like pick up the ball and run the other way bitch?

31:03.690 --> 31:04.671
[SPEAKER_00]: No

31:04.651 --> 31:13.360
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and obviously those lines in the song allude to the agreement being that he could hook up with sex workers.

31:13.380 --> 31:19.948
[SPEAKER_00]: People that he paid for, um, and apparently the reason why this was a huge betrayal was because this was much more intimate.

31:20.068 --> 31:21.489
[SPEAKER_00]: It was with someone he wasn't paying.

31:21.549 --> 31:32.481
[SPEAKER_00]: It was ongoing, um, it was happening in places that it wasn't supposed to, uh, which

31:32.461 --> 31:56.089
[SPEAKER_00]: The funniest petty part though about all of this is that she gave out buttplugs as a party favorite at her album really Sparty they were blue and white polka dot which is what she's wearing on the front of the album and I think that's so funny because who cares if the man is using the buttplug But there is something so scary thing about putting that information out for the world to hear when

31:56.069 --> 32:06.684
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you are insinuating something and he might not ever respond and then that's just going to follow him around for the rest of the life.

32:07.084 --> 32:11.911
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I think he deserves it if he's doing all the things that he actually said he is, then yeah, fuck it.

32:12.231 --> 32:12.632
[SPEAKER_00]: Who cares?

32:12.852 --> 32:13.633
[SPEAKER_00]: People love buttplugs.

32:13.653 --> 32:14.454
[SPEAKER_00]: It's totally fine in normal.

32:14.474 --> 32:15.015
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not that weird.

32:15.616 --> 32:19.461
[SPEAKER_00]: But in the context of everything else, it makes it sound crazy and weird.

32:19.880 --> 32:49.431
[SPEAKER_00]: uh... here's some other lyrics that i thought we're saucy what are you so scared of do you think i'm gonna contact her and tell her what for gonna get divorced it's a marriage of convenience and it's how you adore i think you're thinking you're protecting a lie and you don't want her thinking that you cheat on your wife you're such a coward you can't tell the truth you love all the power but you're not even cute though

32:51.284 --> 33:11.622
[SPEAKER_00]: God damn that is one of the greatest calls of all time because it's so painful to hear you say I know you're more concerned about this fucking side piece thinking that you cheat on your wife more than you care about actually cheating on your wife.

33:11.770 --> 33:18.157
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this, this, this sizzling, this gaiting sizzling on this track.

33:18.337 --> 33:18.838
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I love it.

33:20.339 --> 33:26.666
[SPEAKER_00]: There's another track where she talks about a partner who's more interested in playing a hero on screen than being president at home.

33:27.667 --> 33:37.238
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, she says you're out saving the world in a suit and tie, but you're ghost on our couch when I'm, and I'm wondering why?

33:37.218 --> 33:45.395
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, I think this has clever because she never names him, but it is so fucking obvious who it's about.

33:45.435 --> 33:49.103
[SPEAKER_00]: And for her and all the PR to say, oh, this is half real half fiction.

33:49.243 --> 33:50.887
[SPEAKER_00]: It leaves us all wondering what's the truth.

33:50.947 --> 33:56.779
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're just going to assume all of the lines about an X lover is truth about him.

33:57.147 --> 33:58.871
[SPEAKER_00]: And people love to gossip, right?

33:59.091 --> 34:01.957
[SPEAKER_00]: She gave us enough breadcrumbs to follow.

34:01.977 --> 34:09.574
[SPEAKER_00]: And the only thing she could have done differently is like put his face on the fucking album cover or name a song after him.

34:09.774 --> 34:11.578
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're gonna call someone out,

34:12.554 --> 34:15.598
[SPEAKER_00]: Some people would say like she should have just gone right out and said it.

34:15.818 --> 34:21.225
[SPEAKER_00]: She did everything, but dropped the man's government and social and I kind of love it.

34:21.245 --> 34:21.806
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here for it.

34:22.487 --> 34:31.879
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw a comment online that someone said it's lemonade except she actually left the guy and that fucking sent me because it is as spicy and scathing and I love it.

34:33.007 --> 34:42.046
[SPEAKER_00]: Now let's go over to an example from the queen of calling out one Taylor Swift.

34:42.066 --> 34:52.348
[SPEAKER_00]: Speaking of song lyrics, I loved when she called out Kim Kardashian and spelled her name in the title of the song and basically

34:52.328 --> 35:16.547
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought it was the most savage line when she was like Your kid's gonna come home singing this song that only you and I will know his true because I'm so fucking popular that there ain't no way North West ain't going here There's and come home singing it and it's like, oh, that was spicy It was the most like puzzling call out because again can't prove it can't prove that it's game, but

35:17.118 --> 35:18.661
[SPEAKER_00]: You're giving us all the hints.

35:18.721 --> 35:22.809
[SPEAKER_00]: She also has so many songs calling out men, which we love.

35:23.691 --> 35:32.848
[SPEAKER_00]: When the year John came out, Twitter, back when it was called that exploded with people talking about how she was dragging John Mayer to Phil.

35:32.828 --> 35:37.817
[SPEAKER_00]: And did it in a very pretty way, because it is a beautiful call out breakup ballad.

35:38.699 --> 35:49.920
[SPEAKER_00]: And the only critique our girl Taita has had about a lot of her music is that people have just said, oh, she's the victim every time.

35:50.000 --> 35:55.731
[SPEAKER_00]: Like has every relationship gone so sour that you have no

35:55.711 --> 36:01.339
[SPEAKER_00]: mistakes made in all of this game and look, it's her brand.

36:01.359 --> 36:02.420
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's be honest, it's work for her.

36:02.460 --> 36:05.725
[SPEAKER_00]: So why would she change it up and be like, you know what, I actually, I need to own some of this shit.

36:06.646 --> 36:10.612
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's got some, oh, the great ones like that.

36:10.652 --> 36:12.234
[SPEAKER_00]: She made a whole album about Joe.

36:12.294 --> 36:23.490
[SPEAKER_00]: She's got the fucking rock crackhead guy, she called him out with all these other mystery songs and the one about

36:23.470 --> 36:43.487
[SPEAKER_00]: Joe Jonas breaking up in a text message like they're so many she's been doing this for so long and people just with her specifically I feel like people love following the Easter eggs so she gives us more Easter eggs and I think the best part about her public call it call out is how much money she makes out of it

36:43.467 --> 36:50.758
[SPEAKER_00]: because if I made that much fucking coin, dog and on my axis in public, baby, that's all my TikToks would be.

36:50.999 --> 36:51.399
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it.

36:51.519 --> 36:53.302
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd be exposing every single one of you last bucks.

36:53.483 --> 36:54.544
[SPEAKER_00]: You know exactly who you are.

36:56.006 --> 37:00.493
[SPEAKER_00]: And finally, I wanna talk about one of the most high profile.

37:00.574 --> 37:06.963
[SPEAKER_00]: This actually just didn't occur on the interwebs and in the for you pages.

37:07.003 --> 37:09.547
[SPEAKER_00]: This is actually ended up in the court of law.

37:09.708 --> 37:11.230
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me take you all the way back.

37:11.598 --> 37:15.764
[SPEAKER_00]: the summer of 2020 when we were all stressed baking sourdough.

37:15.864 --> 37:16.525
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember that time.

37:17.968 --> 37:28.223
[SPEAKER_00]: And then bam, news breaks, Meg, these stallion are twerking, queen are strong, emotional, baddie are sensitive gangster.

37:28.203 --> 37:34.757
[SPEAKER_00]: has been shot in the foot after a night out in Hollywood with Tory lanes.

37:36.120 --> 37:39.407
[SPEAKER_00]: And at first, she did not name him publicly.

37:39.447 --> 37:46.903
[SPEAKER_00]: She literally tried to protect him, which so many TV survivors do because it is

37:48.098 --> 38:01.923
[SPEAKER_00]: natural instinct to want to try and make sense of what's happened and this was all happening she was still trying to protect him even as she's like wearing a boot around and bleeding on this sidewalk.

38:02.764 --> 38:10.478
[SPEAKER_00]: But the internet did what did and suddenly there were rumors, jokes, comments about

38:10.458 --> 38:28.753
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, who it was about and I think this was also one of those things where when that happens when you get shot in the foot and survive like there's no way you hide that and there's no way you anybody that you tell isn't also telling that to someone else like I almost feel like the music industry probably circulated this one on its own.

38:28.733 --> 38:39.667
[SPEAKER_00]: But what happened was because she wasn't confirming nor denying it, people were saying, we're gonna gas like you and not tell it, like just say you're making all this up, you're doing it for attention.

38:39.707 --> 38:41.269
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no way this guy actually did that.

38:41.309 --> 38:56.007
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of people were saying because she didn't say something sooner, which is disgusting, in victim blaming and Twitter took the narrative, took a whole

38:55.987 --> 38:57.450
[SPEAKER_00]: um, very quickly.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But what did our girl Megan do?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Did she stay quiet?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Did she coward?

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[SPEAKER_00]: No!

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[SPEAKER_00]: She dropped the diss track called shots fired!

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[SPEAKER_00]: And honey, it wasn't just a clapback.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was.

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[SPEAKER_00]: basically a deposition right because now we're going to court honey so i'm going to lay this all out on the line she opens the song uh... the first-hand seconds with biggies who shot jett instrumental and then basically literally obliterates to relane literally

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[SPEAKER_00]: without ever still needing to say his name because she is so confident in this truth.

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[SPEAKER_00]: She is so confident in her testimony, knowing this is going to trial, you don't need to say it twice.

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[SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't need to name names, okay?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go to court.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's prove this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Get lawyer up, honey.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's, let's go do this out under the flag.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, she wrapped in her song, you shot a 510 bitch with a 22, talking about bones and tendons, like them bullets, wasn't pellets, and then should have let them lock your ass up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The internet obviously took this and was like, okay, we can confirm.

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[SPEAKER_00]: All right.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, now she has confirmed what we've all been saying and we're going to have to follow this court case and of course there was also a lot of ties to just also proving the point that the internet does not support Black women when they tell their truth and this was like all of a sudden.

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[SPEAKER_00]: the internet rallying behind her and saying, like, okay, no, we need to take her seriously.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We are, it was almost like the internet was saying, well, we just couldn't, it was so shocking.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We couldn't believe that that happened.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, how do you get shy and let's just tell the tale that like she must have been lying.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Right, two men on Twitter, trying to make a career out of hating on other women.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Whereas I remember when I heard it, I instantly believed girls like, yeah, no, make this stallion.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why would we not believe her?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why would we not support this call out?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And she didn't just win the court of public opinion, no hinty, she won.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And let's roll court to because in December 2020, two Tory lanes was found guilty on all three felony charges related to the shooting.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The trial was brutal.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He tried to spend the narrative and his team attempted to paint Megan as unstable.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And even said during the trial, she said, I wish he would have just killed me if I'd known that I have to go through this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And this line alone, like, that just tells you how much this broke her.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, she did not tell us it should, like, how deeply this wounded her and how stressful it was.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And the told about it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: that it took on her, but she stayed firm, and she showed up in her truth, and stayed truth under oath, stayed truthful under oath.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And like I said, in August 2023, Tori Lane was sentenced to 10 years in prison.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that, I can't think of a better ending, you know, where we get our justice, the girl wins, and she does it with a goddamn Grammy sitting on herself, too.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And, um, I think we've learned a lot here today, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you have a time you called out a male in public, drop it in the comments below.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to hear about it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to get some juicy team.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we'll repose a bunch of them on some of our stories.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm confidently pod, which by the way, if you're not following,

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[SPEAKER_00]: What are you doing?

42:32.476 --> 42:33.417
[SPEAKER_00]: Go follow us on Instagram.

42:33.437 --> 42:39.064
[SPEAKER_00]: We just did an amazing giveaway this last week for Halloween, where we buttoned up a bunch of juicy.

42:39.805 --> 42:41.387
[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, good stuff.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Good merch.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We had some rare beauty stuff.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We had some Rio de Janeiro product in there.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Some cute little gift bags, swag.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, and all you have to do was like comment on a post.

42:52.522 --> 42:53.983
[SPEAKER_00]: It's very easy to win our giveaways.

42:54.624 --> 42:55.986
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, so make sure to go follow us.

42:56.793 --> 42:58.455
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you on your phone?

42:58.475 --> 42:59.797
[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't you rate this for me?

42:59.877 --> 43:14.955
[SPEAKER_00]: That would be super helpful And if you're not gonna give it five stars, don't rate it all because I am sensitive Don't forget to set your calendar for December 17 to watch our documentary and go get some like super least ice coffee merch while you're at it Oh We got to stay out here kids.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We got to grind in these streets.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're trying to stay alive.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're staying afloat in this economy I love you comfy don't I will see you next week

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[UNKNOWN]: You

