WEBVTT 00:02.343 --> 00:05.188 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey friends, and welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 00:05.268 --> 00:09.054 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host, Steph Thirling, and I am so glad that you're here with me today. 00:09.094 --> 00:22.275 [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to talk about something that every single one of us walks through as parents and as humans, even if we don't always say it out loud, we are talking about prayer and specifically what happens when our prayers don't get answered the way that we hoped that they would. 00:22.255 --> 00:26.780 [SPEAKER_01]: like, what do we do with the disappointment when we begged God for healing and it didn't come in? 00:27.301 --> 00:28.762 [SPEAKER_01]: What do we do with anxiety? 00:28.782 --> 00:36.170 [SPEAKER_01]: You know that we feel at 2 a.m. when we wake up or 3 a.m. and how do we keep trusting that God is good even when life does not feel good? 00:36.811 --> 00:47.203 [SPEAKER_01]: Today, my guest is Karast out and she has walked through infertility, adoption, financial strain, and medical crisis caring for her mom through cancer and losing both of her parents. 00:47.243 --> 00:47.503 [SPEAKER_01]: So, 00:47.483 --> 00:53.991 [SPEAKER_01]: She knows what it looks like to pray and wait and cry out and still hold on to the hope that she has in Jesus. 00:54.011 --> 01:02.220 [SPEAKER_01]: So she's going to share how God met her in fear and grief and surrender and how we can invite God into those places instead of just pretending that we're fine. 01:02.861 --> 01:11.831 [SPEAKER_01]: She also wrote a really beautiful devotional called an untrubbled heart, which is set up as a morning and evening prayer guide to help you start and end the day in God's presence. 01:11.851 --> 01:13.373 [SPEAKER_01]: So we'll talk about that too. 01:13.353 --> 01:19.482 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that you're gonna love it, you can check the link out and show notes, but first let's just enjoy this conversation with Kira. 01:26.296 --> 01:26.857 [SPEAKER_01]: Hi, Cara. 01:26.897 --> 01:28.520 [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Christian parenting podcast. 01:28.941 --> 01:29.502 [SPEAKER_01]: Hi. 01:29.522 --> 01:29.622 [SPEAKER_01]: Hi. 01:29.702 --> 01:31.626 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for having us. 01:31.646 --> 01:31.766 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 01:32.247 --> 01:33.129 [SPEAKER_01]: It's great to have you. 01:33.229 --> 01:36.535 [SPEAKER_01]: We have many things in common that you used to live in Minnesota. 01:36.555 --> 01:37.777 [SPEAKER_01]: And I currently live in Minnesota. 01:37.937 --> 01:39.079 [SPEAKER_01]: And you currently live in LA. 01:39.260 --> 01:40.442 [SPEAKER_01]: And I used to live in LA. 01:40.923 --> 01:41.444 [SPEAKER_01]: You're right. 01:41.604 --> 01:41.965 [SPEAKER_00]: I know. 01:41.985 --> 01:44.249 [SPEAKER_01]: We just flipped places, but yeah. 01:44.449 --> 01:45.992 [SPEAKER_01]: We have a lot of places in common. 01:46.192 --> 01:47.955 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, just by how we do, we do. 01:48.176 --> 02:05.787 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, sure, it'll be brought up in our conversation, but as our talk about today, we are actually talking about rare and when prayers don't go in, answered the way we want them to or at all in fear and anxiety and just the hope that we can find in Jesus the room, all of that and how he can calm. 02:05.767 --> 02:07.292 [SPEAKER_01]: our hearts when they are troubled. 02:07.734 --> 02:09.279 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it's going to be a rich conversation. 02:09.380 --> 02:11.085 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm really excited to talk with you. 02:11.126 --> 02:17.869 [SPEAKER_01]: But first, tell us a little bit about yourself, tell us about what you do, tell us about your family, all the most important things. 02:18.743 --> 02:29.679 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so like you said, we are in LA right now, California, originally I'm from Arizona actually though, and then I moved to Chicago for graduate school and my early 20s. 02:30.260 --> 02:35.988 [SPEAKER_00]: That's where I met Michael my husband and he's originally from Michigan, so we do love the Midwest. 02:36.168 --> 02:38.131 [SPEAKER_00]: Is Minnesota considered Midwest, isn't it? 02:38.151 --> 02:38.592 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 02:39.010 --> 02:55.939 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, yeah, yeah, and, and so, and then we moved to Dallas for a few years and then now we're out in LA about eight years now, so I we have a two year old daughter who we were tremendously blessed with the adoption. 02:55.919 --> 03:10.145 [SPEAKER_00]: We walked through infertility for ten years like seven of infertility and then three years of the adoption process So really yeah, like ten years of praying and waiting to see Look at what his plans were. 03:10.325 --> 03:12.048 [SPEAKER_00]: So anyway, we have Nora that's her name. 03:12.169 --> 03:12.790 [SPEAKER_00]: She's two. 03:13.331 --> 03:18.400 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a writer and I I write on social media 03:18.380 --> 03:19.061 [SPEAKER_00]: just pray. 03:19.081 --> 03:23.246 [SPEAKER_00]: I love writing prayers, and so I'm excited about this topic that we're going to talk about. 03:23.506 --> 03:28.732 [SPEAKER_00]: So I write prayers on there, create Bible reading plans, and then also wrote my first book. 03:29.093 --> 03:30.354 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 03:30.655 --> 03:40.066 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to get a little more in to your story because you've been through a lot, not just infertility in adoption, but an artery dissection, which people may not know what that is. 03:40.166 --> 03:43.290 [SPEAKER_01]: I have a 03:43.270 --> 03:47.137 [SPEAKER_01]: So nice of that and like oh I know what an artery dissection is. 03:47.538 --> 03:54.049 [SPEAKER_01]: So you've gone through that which is no small thing some financial issues caring for your mom losing both your parents. 03:54.510 --> 03:55.312 [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's a lot. 03:55.352 --> 04:01.583 [SPEAKER_01]: So tell us a little bit give us background in your story and how it's shaped where you are in your faith right now. 04:01.563 --> 04:02.565 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah. 04:02.766 --> 04:03.548 [SPEAKER_00]: It is a lot. 04:04.350 --> 04:11.206 [SPEAKER_00]: And through that, it's been so wonderful though to see and learn who God is greater. 04:11.266 --> 04:13.813 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's an invitation for all of us. 04:13.893 --> 04:19.386 [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever we go through trials, suffering pain is that we get to know God on a deeper level. 04:19.366 --> 04:45.660 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's also not to say that it's easy or it's without pain like these things that I walk doing that we all have walked through are really hard and life is hard you know but again the beautiful thing is that God walks with us and so I feel like that's a huge thing that I've learned through all of the things that you had mentioned and yeah so the I had so first in the order of 04:45.893 --> 04:57.959 [SPEAKER_00]: And we can dive into any one of these if you want, but just to give a kind of an overview is so it, while I was in Chicago, my dad was diagnosed with brain cancer any past away within three months. 04:58.320 --> 05:01.928 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I was in my early mid-20s. 05:01.908 --> 05:05.395 [SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, I was distracted a lot by the world in Chicago. 05:05.435 --> 05:06.458 [SPEAKER_00]: I was going out a lot. 05:06.778 --> 05:08.362 [SPEAKER_00]: I started drinking a lot more. 05:08.682 --> 05:10.947 [SPEAKER_00]: And my faith wasn't where it is now. 05:11.067 --> 05:19.866 [SPEAKER_00]: I grew up in a Christian home and a wonderful example in my mother of like a faithful love Jesus. 05:20.015 --> 05:27.786 [SPEAKER_00]: I started being distracted, going astray, and anyway, so after my dad, that's where I was going for comfort, is just drinking. 05:27.806 --> 05:33.555 [SPEAKER_00]: And I wasn't like a decision I made, it just started, it was just kind of, it was there, presented itself. 05:33.575 --> 05:38.262 [SPEAKER_00]: But then, I met my husband, like a couple years later, we got married. 05:38.382 --> 05:41.326 [SPEAKER_00]: I brought in a good amount of unhealed grief into our marriage. 05:41.667 --> 05:44.431 [SPEAKER_00]: So our marriage was pretty challenging the first three years. 05:44.651 --> 05:47.355 [SPEAKER_00]: Also, within that, exactly our one month 05:47.335 --> 05:50.340 [SPEAKER_00]: wedding anniversary is when I had the credit artery dissection. 05:50.601 --> 05:55.730 [SPEAKER_00]: And that, as you, like it's it, if people don't know, it's a tear in your credit artery, it was in the neck artery. 05:56.291 --> 06:02.462 [SPEAKER_00]: I did not have to have surgery, but I was on blood thinners in the hospital, and then for months after, while it healed. 06:02.522 --> 06:03.724 [SPEAKER_00]: Praise God. 06:03.704 --> 06:04.566 [SPEAKER_00]: for his healing. 06:04.946 --> 06:09.035 [SPEAKER_00]: And it was beautiful because my faith, like I said, wasn't isn't where it is now. 06:09.997 --> 06:18.473 [SPEAKER_00]: But in the hospital and I write about this in the book that I had, I got a vision when I was like hooked up to all these IVs and I needed to go to the restroom. 06:18.654 --> 06:24.345 [SPEAKER_00]: I literally got a vision of Jesus holding me carrying me, walking me with me to the bathroom. 06:24.325 --> 06:35.258 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and so there was just that, so in that I was learning more about God in that experience and then I was on a journey, right, of learning him more and more. 06:35.499 --> 06:46.752 [SPEAKER_00]: And then God presented an opportunity for my husband for work to move us to Dallas, which that's where the lifestyle of going out, all of that was taped like removed, praise God. 06:47.133 --> 06:53.961 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's when a lot of healing happened for me and Michael, my husband as well, and where my faith really started to grow. 06:53.941 --> 06:55.362 [SPEAKER_00]: and then fast forward through that. 06:55.763 --> 07:05.391 [SPEAKER_00]: My mom was diagnosed with cancer and now it was a 12-year period between my dad and my mom and I had already moved to LA and she was in Dallas at the time I didn't mention. 07:05.732 --> 07:08.434 [SPEAKER_00]: So that was so sweet to have those years with her Dallas. 07:08.634 --> 07:10.576 [SPEAKER_00]: She wasn't diagnosed before I had moved. 07:10.896 --> 07:23.948 [SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't have moved and so anyway so I walked that journey with her and again recognized God in all of that in his presence and then as you mentioned maybe we can dive into 07:23.928 --> 07:28.977 [SPEAKER_00]: at like desperately for my mom's healing, but God answered in a different way. 07:29.197 --> 07:31.482 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, just wrestling through that? 07:31.682 --> 07:32.563 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 07:32.583 --> 07:32.844 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 07:33.505 --> 07:34.246 [SPEAKER_01]: Had to do. 07:34.567 --> 07:42.782 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so first, like I feel like we all face challenges and a lot of lead to anxiety to varying degrees. 07:42.862 --> 07:47.550 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe not everyone's walking through a journey like yours, but everyone has their own personal journeys. 07:47.590 --> 07:48.552 [SPEAKER_01]: Cause we're human. 07:48.616 --> 07:52.039 [SPEAKER_01]: and we're parents, and we live in a broken and sinful world. 07:52.179 --> 07:56.103 [SPEAKER_01]: And so, I think it's easy to say, like, I'm feeling anxious about this. 07:56.163 --> 07:57.084 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna pray about it. 07:57.204 --> 08:12.117 [SPEAKER_01]: God's got this, but like, we know to say that as Christians, but to actually like internalize it and like trust that the Lord actually is with us, like carrying us in the small moments, like you mentioned, you know, like actually leaning into that truth. 08:12.597 --> 08:16.240 [SPEAKER_01]: When times are hard, is like a totally different story because it's so easy to say. 08:16.701 --> 08:17.982 [SPEAKER_01]: It's harder to believe. 08:17.962 --> 08:24.712 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I think we have to try to handle everything on our own like that's what I do when I'm going through a challenge I kind of shut down a little bit. 08:24.792 --> 08:28.598 [SPEAKER_01]: I go into myself and I'm like in now I'm gonna fix it all by myself. 08:29.299 --> 08:31.422 [SPEAKER_01]: Yep, how have you learned? 08:32.244 --> 08:42.940 [SPEAKER_01]: To turn to God in those emotions and lean on him when life is hard instead of turning to like a social life or just ignoring the problem or all the things that were attempted to do right right 08:42.920 --> 08:46.263 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I totally hear that, and I still feel like he's teaching me that. 08:46.344 --> 08:55.633 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I've walked through these things, but even daily, you know, there is this false sense of comfort when we try to control, right? 08:55.713 --> 08:59.677 [SPEAKER_00]: But really, that is causes more stress and more worry. 08:59.858 --> 09:10.969 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, I really believe that it is a daily surrender, continual, and then being honest with God of when it's hard, when it's hard to let go of this control that we're wanting, like, 09:10.949 --> 09:16.898 [SPEAKER_00]: God, I'm trying to control this, I need your help, help me to release these worries to you. 09:16.998 --> 09:21.425 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I talk a lot about in my book is like going to God persistently. 09:21.746 --> 09:23.048 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's not this one and done. 09:23.068 --> 09:23.929 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I've surrendered. 09:23.989 --> 09:25.612 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, we surrender. 09:25.872 --> 09:29.638 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, big, you know, but also it's a daily rhythm of surrender. 09:29.698 --> 09:31.581 [SPEAKER_00]: And I, I preach it to myself still. 09:31.621 --> 09:37.190 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, parenting, all of the challenges that can come with that and just the overwhelm of life sometimes. 09:37.310 --> 09:37.851 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, 09:37.831 --> 10:03.585 [SPEAKER_00]: God help me to prioritize what matters is one big thing and then also Lord the things that are honestly because we talk about life is hard there are challenges there's a lot coming out of us but God I cannot and I don't want to carry this on my own please I surrender it to you and when it's hard to release the grip God like help me do it so I think it's really partnering with God when we recognize that it is hard 10:03.565 --> 10:08.232 [SPEAKER_00]: to do that and that we need to help with all aspects of surrender. 10:08.272 --> 10:16.804 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and it is, I love the reminder that it is daily because it truly is because we can say, okay, I give this over to you today. 10:17.024 --> 10:20.449 [SPEAKER_01]: But then tomorrow you wake up and it's a new day and it doesn't feel that way. 10:20.469 --> 10:26.097 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I still often feel like if I can answer this period, this is how I would do it and it would be the best way. 10:26.077 --> 10:32.064 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's such a small picture of life, you know, and like we just have this, you know, it's us. 10:32.224 --> 10:40.994 [SPEAKER_01]: Our life is the most important, whether we like to admit that or not, like we are the center of the universe, because we are like that is the way it is, is we're sinful. 10:41.354 --> 10:43.697 [SPEAKER_01]: And so we don't have that big picture that God does. 10:43.737 --> 10:52.027 [SPEAKER_01]: And so trusting that it is daily because our nature sends us right back the other way like that's right left our own devices. 10:52.127 --> 10:54.109 [SPEAKER_01]: We are the center of our own world. 10:54.089 --> 10:54.470 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 10:54.730 --> 11:08.635 [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, I love that you're bringing that up because I, you know, especially I remember really having a lot of peace when I would think about God's sovereignty in relation to my mom, like the fact that she's now in heaven. 11:08.735 --> 11:12.722 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, Lord, I don't, I would have obviously not wanted that. 11:12.702 --> 11:33.141 [SPEAKER_00]: like that's not the story that I want, you know, but you see this great picture that I can't see and you're sovereign, you keep me breathing, you keep the earth turning and all of these incredible things of like his power and his majesty, like I can't see, so I'm gonna trust you because you can. 11:33.121 --> 11:40.971 [SPEAKER_00]: And then also I love to that he also, though he is this sovereign, you know, powerful, holy God. 11:41.011 --> 11:42.373 [SPEAKER_00]: He's also so personal. 11:42.754 --> 11:46.198 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I just love that like he gets it. 11:46.358 --> 11:49.542 [SPEAKER_00]: He gets that life is hard and we do need him. 11:49.723 --> 11:56.091 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I love that we have this powerful and personal God to walk us through life's challenges. 11:56.071 --> 11:56.472 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 11:56.812 --> 11:57.794 [SPEAKER_01]: Tell us a little bit. 11:57.834 --> 11:59.577 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk a little bit more about that. 11:59.617 --> 11:59.878 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 12:00.358 --> 12:04.145 [SPEAKER_01]: Experience with your mom, you know, praying for her healing, not experiencing that. 12:04.185 --> 12:07.811 [SPEAKER_01]: I think no matter of what our faith looks like, sometimes our prayers, gone answered. 12:07.871 --> 12:10.335 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, there's a whole country song about unanswered prayers. 12:10.836 --> 12:16.526 [SPEAKER_01]: And especially in really hard ones, you know, like that, what's what we really want in our hearts. 12:16.546 --> 12:17.708 [SPEAKER_01]: And especially you know, 12:17.688 --> 12:23.001 [SPEAKER_01]: It's hard when we're maybe praying for a loved one, praying for our mom to be healed or praying for our kids. 12:23.041 --> 12:24.124 [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever that looks like. 12:24.865 --> 12:26.790 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what would you say? 12:26.850 --> 12:31.782 [SPEAKER_01]: Just tell us more about your experience in like an unanswered prayer in how God has been faithful. 12:33.601 --> 12:41.229 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, so I think that through all of us, he's growing our faith and our trust in him. 12:41.590 --> 12:53.642 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I also think that when we're faced with prayers that are unanswered and we're waiting on his answer or prayers where he said the answer is different than what we want. 12:53.903 --> 12:58.267 [SPEAKER_00]: We're confronted with, are you just like him basically saying, are you still gonna trust me? 12:58.347 --> 12:59.929 [SPEAKER_00]: Are you still gonna love me? 12:59.909 --> 13:09.133 [SPEAKER_00]: and so I feel like that is something we continually have to do throughout our lives, like be confronted and then, you know, do we choose? 13:09.454 --> 13:11.339 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, Lord, you are everything. 13:11.359 --> 13:15.369 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, when we say Jesus is enough, like do we do we mean that? 13:15.550 --> 13:15.690 [SPEAKER_00]: And 13:15.670 --> 13:22.218 [SPEAKER_00]: I do think sometimes, yes, we do, but sometimes it's a challenge because y'all, but I could like, I would love this too, and this also. 13:22.339 --> 13:28.787 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think it can be this wrestling, but I think it's important to go to God with that and be vulnerable to him. 13:28.867 --> 13:33.894 [SPEAKER_00]: And honest, like, Lord, I don't understand why you have answered this in this way. 13:34.454 --> 13:39.461 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm struggling, I'm struggling, and some give me grace to trust you more. 13:39.501 --> 13:42.825 [SPEAKER_00]: That's, I feel like a big key is just asking him, 13:42.805 --> 14:09.437 [SPEAKER_00]: Every need that we have like even the needs where we're struggling with how he's answering prayers or how he's how things are working out in our lives if we're struggling that talk to him like that's where this intimacy builds yeah I think sometimes we forget to do that yeah asking God for the needs of our like spiritual hearts I remember being in Bible study once and our leader was telling us she was so so committed to reading her Bible every day. 14:09.772 --> 14:28.708 [SPEAKER_01]: It was like truly remarkable how much time she's been in the word having really multiple like four little kids at home and we were asking her and I'm like, how do you how do you do this like this is so hard for the rest of us who are struggling and she just said I spent a lot of months specifically asking God to give me a hunger for his word. 14:28.688 --> 14:30.570 [SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, and it didn't happen right away. 14:30.711 --> 14:35.376 [SPEAKER_01]: It took time, but like, eventually God was faithful to that, because that's some prayer he's always gonna say yes to. 14:35.416 --> 14:37.159 [SPEAKER_01]: It's give me a hunger for your word. 14:37.219 --> 14:42.826 [SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, the more I pray to it, the more he responded, and I'd your closer to him, and he'd your closer to me. 14:42.926 --> 14:46.571 [SPEAKER_01]: And now I just can't imagine not being in the word every day. 14:46.631 --> 14:51.397 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's just not the type of prayer that we think about praying for because I love that. 14:51.417 --> 14:58.105 [SPEAKER_01]: We're often too busy praying for healing or for whatever is going on in our life, 14:58.085 --> 14:59.046 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, exactly. 14:59.166 --> 14:59.366 [SPEAKER_00]: Right. 14:59.767 --> 15:00.147 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 15:00.407 --> 15:00.828 [SPEAKER_00]: I love that. 15:01.148 --> 15:01.248 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 15:01.268 --> 15:02.509 [SPEAKER_00]: I love both that you said. 15:02.650 --> 15:03.430 [SPEAKER_00]: That's beautiful. 15:03.791 --> 15:04.151 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 15:04.391 --> 15:04.732 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 15:04.752 --> 15:09.476 [SPEAKER_01]: It really stuck with me because I think again, left her own devices where this center of her own world. 15:09.596 --> 15:11.999 [SPEAKER_01]: And so our prayers sometimes look like that too. 15:12.439 --> 15:15.382 [SPEAKER_01]: And so when you're like, okay, god, what do I really need to be praying for? 15:15.462 --> 15:26.353 [SPEAKER_01]: Because if I'm going to be praying to grow closer to you and to trust in you, then all of these big challenges are going to be easier to walk through because I know you're going to be with me because I'm going to be that much more connected to you. 15:26.333 --> 15:26.855 [SPEAKER_01]: That's right. 15:27.297 --> 15:27.919 [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly right. 15:28.220 --> 15:28.481 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 15:28.682 --> 15:29.726 [SPEAKER_01]: Those aren't. 15:29.927 --> 15:32.698 [SPEAKER_01]: It can really be a bummer. 15:33.944 --> 15:34.365 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 15:34.405 --> 15:35.406 [SPEAKER_01]: What can we do? 15:36.007 --> 15:36.347 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 15:36.367 --> 15:36.808 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 15:37.348 --> 15:38.970 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what does that look like for you? 15:39.050 --> 15:43.516 [SPEAKER_01]: You had this, I think you said 10-year and fertility, yeah, to adoption. 15:43.736 --> 15:45.799 [SPEAKER_01]: So, 10 years of waiting for a child. 15:45.839 --> 15:47.962 [SPEAKER_01]: When I'm sure there are lots of them, it's like, this is a bummer. 15:48.022 --> 15:49.103 [SPEAKER_01]: This is not what I'm praying for. 15:49.243 --> 15:50.304 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm praying for a child. 15:50.324 --> 15:54.370 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, that's 10 years is a long time to be dedicated to praying for something. 15:54.450 --> 15:55.931 [SPEAKER_01]: So like, what does that look like? 15:55.952 --> 16:00.357 [SPEAKER_01]: When you have a, there's an endurance, a marathon here of prayers. 16:00.337 --> 16:01.759 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that it was really hard. 16:02.059 --> 16:09.890 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I, there was often times where I, I really question like, I don't know if I'm ever going to be a mother, you know, and I really didn't know. 16:10.191 --> 16:18.162 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that I, well, I definitely believe that he sustained me through that, you know, mother's days were really hard. 16:18.643 --> 16:20.746 [SPEAKER_00]: My birthday is right around mother's day. 16:20.846 --> 16:24.771 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, this past year, it fell right on mother's day, which was great. 16:24.872 --> 16:26.133 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, you know, blessing. 16:26.173 --> 16:26.614 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 16:26.594 --> 16:34.444 [SPEAKER_00]: Now, but oh my goodness, that was just really hard and confusing and I 16:36.213 --> 16:42.921 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that, again, that was a really, I feel, it's like, I was on this journey. 16:42.941 --> 16:46.485 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still on this journey of God teaching me that I'm not in control. 16:46.665 --> 16:50.330 [SPEAKER_00]: It was like, I feel like I've had some major things, right? 16:50.390 --> 16:54.515 [SPEAKER_00]: Like we're talking about where he's teaching me that I'm not in control. 16:54.735 --> 16:59.841 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, but really where he's brought me to is a lot of peace though with that. 16:59.821 --> 17:03.565 [SPEAKER_00]: And that just comes through hard things sometimes. 17:03.785 --> 17:07.128 [SPEAKER_00]: And so he brought me a place to complete surrender. 17:07.489 --> 17:09.871 [SPEAKER_00]: And that was what was interesting too. 17:10.111 --> 17:13.555 [SPEAKER_00]: Was during the adoption process, we had an adoption fall through. 17:13.915 --> 17:17.379 [SPEAKER_00]: And I share a little bit about this in the book, but it was like a major fall through. 17:17.399 --> 17:19.461 [SPEAKER_00]: Like we literally flew to the state. 17:19.561 --> 17:21.603 [SPEAKER_00]: He had cars, it was for twins. 17:21.663 --> 17:22.744 [SPEAKER_00]: We had two car seats. 17:22.764 --> 17:23.985 [SPEAKER_00]: We had names picked out. 17:24.186 --> 17:24.546 [SPEAKER_00]: And 17:24.526 --> 17:30.597 [SPEAKER_00]: the birth mother changed her mind, which you know, that she has all rights to do that, of course. 17:30.898 --> 17:35.266 [SPEAKER_00]: But that was again where I was confronted like, okay, I don't know if I'm going to be a mother. 17:35.286 --> 17:44.543 [SPEAKER_00]: Like here we were like, you know, matched and all of that happening and then we put adoption on pause and we needed to heal and I was afraid to like, 17:44.523 --> 18:03.932 [SPEAKER_00]: Start the adoption process again to be honest because I was like, I don't know how much because there's so much also like they if you if you get chosen or not and like there's all these things, you know, about the adoption process that are again continual like surrender surrender trust me trust me, you know, but yeah so many tears that I cried and 18:03.912 --> 18:26.879 [SPEAKER_00]: Then all of a sudden he shifted our hearts and we're like, okay, I think we're ready to start adoption process again, but this time was different we were both very surrendered very like at peace with like okay got whatever whatever happens like and then Nora that was who we were matched with she's our girl like I look at her now and I'm like yes, I would wait again 10 years for you. 18:26.899 --> 18:27.760 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 18:27.740 --> 18:51.267 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's so beautiful and I like that you're so open about like it was painful and I we got to stop and then go again when we were ready because I think a lot of times giving ourselves permission as Christians when we're like okay we have the the language in our head like I trust God I surrender and that's what we know we're supposed to do but then also at the same time because two things can be true at once. 18:51.247 --> 18:54.952 [SPEAKER_01]: giving ourselves permission to be sad, or disappointed, or anger. 18:55.112 --> 18:55.493 [SPEAKER_00]: That's right. 18:55.513 --> 18:58.197 [SPEAKER_01]: It can almost feel like we're doing something wrong. 18:58.417 --> 19:00.940 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, if we had faith, we wouldn't feel that way. 19:01.040 --> 19:07.509 [SPEAKER_01]: So, what would you say to someone who's afraid of expressing that emotion to God, or that is kind of in that place right now? 19:07.549 --> 19:10.133 [SPEAKER_01]: They're like, okay, I trust God, but I'm also mad. 19:10.113 --> 19:22.101 [SPEAKER_00]: I love that we're talking about this because I definitely think this needs to be talked about more in the Christian conversation because if we look at the Bible, there was a lot of like lamenting and look at David in the Psalms. 19:22.662 --> 19:28.155 [SPEAKER_00]: Like he had a heart after God's heart, but yet you see him being completely vulnerable, honest. 19:28.135 --> 19:29.999 [SPEAKER_00]: crying and also praising God. 19:30.039 --> 19:31.984 [SPEAKER_00]: There is this holding both. 19:32.324 --> 19:36.434 [SPEAKER_00]: And so we see that and can take courage and encouragement from that. 19:36.955 --> 19:43.630 [SPEAKER_00]: And we see there's so many examples in the Bible of people who are Hannah, okay Hannah. 19:43.610 --> 19:58.288 [SPEAKER_00]: She went to the point where he was at Eli, the priest, thought she was drunk and she was so and it says the word anxiety in there that in that passage and what's beautiful, it says God and then God remembered her. 19:58.348 --> 20:04.616 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember that phrase stood out to me like really impactfully and it was like there was no condemnation in that for her, right? 20:04.676 --> 20:05.297 [SPEAKER_00]: There was 20:05.277 --> 20:06.359 [SPEAKER_00]: God remembered her. 20:06.420 --> 20:07.342 [SPEAKER_00]: She was crying. 20:07.382 --> 20:10.789 [SPEAKER_00]: She was honest with this deep desire of her heart. 20:10.829 --> 20:12.934 [SPEAKER_00]: She was praying and she was going to God. 20:12.954 --> 20:16.802 [SPEAKER_00]: So that is what I want to encourage people to is go to God. 20:17.324 --> 20:23.016 [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, obviously, there's respect in that because you're going to God and you're like God, I know you are the answer to this. 20:22.996 --> 20:40.549 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I say that that is actually showing faith, you know, like when we're experiencing these emotions But we're going to God that demonstrates our faith versus trying to bypass our emotions or think oh no I have to be like a quote good Chris whatever that you know, you know 20:40.529 --> 20:45.695 [SPEAKER_00]: and not feel these know, like I don't, there's no evidence for that in Scripture. 20:45.916 --> 21:01.895 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that it is that going to God and trusting Him is really showing our faith and our trust, because we're trusting Him to relieve, relieve our pain, our worries, and also the answer, the prayer that we're seeking. 21:02.095 --> 21:03.717 [SPEAKER_00]: So I just I love that you brought this up. 21:03.918 --> 21:04.258 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 21:04.238 --> 21:08.507 [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, really, to say, to go to God and say, I don't like this, but I trust you anyway. 21:09.108 --> 21:10.190 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, that is right. 21:10.210 --> 21:11.873 [SPEAKER_01]: That takes an immense amount of faith. 21:12.515 --> 21:14.679 [SPEAKER_01]: Because ways are to trust God and things are going our way. 21:15.019 --> 21:16.021 [SPEAKER_00]: Because we're comfortable. 21:16.583 --> 21:17.404 [SPEAKER_00]: That's exactly. 21:17.845 --> 21:18.166 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 21:18.366 --> 21:18.827 [SPEAKER_00]: It's true. 21:18.867 --> 21:21.933 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like when we go through trials, that's when our trust is tested. 21:22.514 --> 21:22.695 [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm. 21:22.715 --> 21:22.955 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 21:23.176 --> 21:23.817 [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. 21:23.797 --> 21:42.818 [SPEAKER_01]: So I know Nora's young soul, but looking ahead and just from your experience in general, like as parents, we want to teach our kids to pray boldly and to trust God in the way that we're talking about, knowing that their faith is going to be their own and they're going to grow and they're going to go through the ups and downs, just like we did. 21:42.798 --> 21:50.049 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you think we can like a prayer, like a strong faith in prayer life for our kids, a posture of surrender to the Lord? 21:50.109 --> 21:55.697 [SPEAKER_01]: Like how can we do that and be open and honest with our kids about what faith actually looks like through challenges? 21:56.058 --> 21:58.241 [SPEAKER_00]: I love that because like you said two things come to mind. 21:58.281 --> 21:58.922 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, Noras. 21:59.303 --> 21:59.803 [SPEAKER_00]: She's too. 21:59.924 --> 22:04.651 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not like fully at the like where I can have like discussions. 22:04.731 --> 22:05.812 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, with you know. 22:05.993 --> 22:07.074 [SPEAKER_00]: But two things come to mind. 22:07.234 --> 22:08.316 [SPEAKER_00]: One my own mother. 22:08.296 --> 22:27.705 [SPEAKER_00]: Like the example that she showed me totally impacted me forever and her faithfulness and even like right after her diagnosis we were in the car we were crying and she immediately prayed and she prayed God, I know you got me through past stuff like she listed some other things personally that she had walked through and I know you're going to walk me through this. 22:27.972 --> 22:29.635 [SPEAKER_00]: And I've seen your faith on this before. 22:29.696 --> 22:35.006 [SPEAKER_00]: So that for me was like impacted my heart and how I've walked through my own grief. 22:35.588 --> 22:40.858 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I wanna encourage all of us, me, for sure, is that we have little eyes watching us. 22:41.099 --> 22:44.626 [SPEAKER_00]: And so we are these examples just moving day to day life. 22:44.686 --> 22:49.035 [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't even have to be these big moments, but there are gonna be big moments in our lives. 22:49.235 --> 23:00.944 [SPEAKER_00]: But just also day to day, they're watching us, they're watching how we pray when we pray and then that ties into also with Nora is we pray a lot with her and like she she's not here. 23:00.984 --> 23:03.991 [SPEAKER_00]: She's in preschool today, but we pray it over the phone. 23:04.011 --> 23:06.417 [SPEAKER_00]: So anytime I have a podcast interview. 23:06.397 --> 23:11.062 [SPEAKER_00]: She puts a little hand on my shoulder with Michael and they pray for the podcast interviews. 23:11.082 --> 23:12.204 [SPEAKER_00]: So she prays with that. 23:12.244 --> 23:13.345 [SPEAKER_00]: We pray morning. 23:13.365 --> 23:15.247 [SPEAKER_00]: We pray night when we don't feel well. 23:15.287 --> 23:19.292 [SPEAKER_00]: When we're sick, she'll put her little hand and pray for us to feel better. 23:19.332 --> 23:25.159 [SPEAKER_00]: And so we're just having this rhythm throughout the day of praying and it could be small, it could be big. 23:25.639 --> 23:35.070 [SPEAKER_00]: And so at least that's what we're starting with as this model of prayer of going to God with like all the things throughout the day and just depending on him. 23:35.050 --> 23:43.599 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that because I think what we overlook as parents sometimes is that God is with us in all of the tiny little details in every little moment. 23:43.659 --> 23:47.271 [SPEAKER_01]: And if we don't teach our kids that they can pray for anything and everything. 23:47.403 --> 23:48.284 [SPEAKER_01]: in the ordinary. 23:48.484 --> 23:51.468 [SPEAKER_01]: It's going to be a lot harder for them to pray in the heart. 23:51.588 --> 23:53.030 [SPEAKER_01]: You know, those starts with the basics. 23:53.070 --> 23:56.595 [SPEAKER_01]: We don't just get to a point where something falls apart. 23:56.615 --> 23:57.837 [SPEAKER_01]: We're like, and no, I'm going to pray. 23:57.897 --> 24:01.161 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, we have to have that practice and it integrated into our life. 24:01.241 --> 24:05.707 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think that's a really good reminder that all of the little things we can be praying with our kids. 24:05.907 --> 24:09.512 [SPEAKER_01]: And that will make it just naturally easier, because then it won't feel so forced. 24:10.252 --> 24:31.348 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because if something happens randomly say let's pray your kids are going to like I don't what's that yeah, yeah, like what yeah or like what do you mean yeah that's a beautiful and that also as you were sharing sets it up to for them to understand praying without ceasing because we're called you know that's such a beautiful invitation right like pray without ceasing has to mean. 24:31.328 --> 24:58.939 [SPEAKER_00]: You're praying also for things just throughout the day, daily things, you know, just all of the things that we can be confronted with during the day that, you know, smaller tasks or bigger, you know, just all of the things, and so that is also an example for them to understand praying without CC, yeah, which will make a huge impact on their lasting faith, even though it feels so word man and like we should be doing more, it's just like the little daily things that will really impact them and so it's actually easier than you think. 24:58.919 --> 25:01.004 [SPEAKER_01]: In some ways, hard of anything to lose. 25:02.107 --> 25:03.911 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, exactly. 25:04.212 --> 25:07.500 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, tell us a little bit about your book in Untrabbled Heart. 25:07.701 --> 25:10.167 [SPEAKER_01]: It's 38 emotional with reading some prayers. 25:10.287 --> 25:16.843 [SPEAKER_01]: Tell us, like, what do you hope that listeners, if they read this book, experience as they walk through these pages and spend time with God? 25:16.823 --> 25:23.273 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so a lot of what we talked about is my hope for for each reader as they go through the devotion. 25:23.293 --> 25:24.074 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's a 30 day. 25:24.094 --> 25:25.336 [SPEAKER_00]: It's morning and evening. 25:25.636 --> 25:27.359 [SPEAKER_00]: So there's 60 devotions total. 25:27.419 --> 25:37.093 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just really had a heart for the evening portion because I feel like a lot of times we can, you know, we start the morning with a devotion or devotional, which are just fantastic. 25:37.073 --> 25:42.429 [SPEAKER_00]: and then also there's a need at night too to go to God and to release worries. 25:42.649 --> 25:45.698 [SPEAKER_00]: Tears often that's when I would feel emotional at night. 25:46.200 --> 25:52.197 [SPEAKER_00]: And so I just wanted to have the reader be able to go to God morning and night with this resource. 25:52.177 --> 26:05.012 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's really, my hope is for them to walk through some of the things that they're struggling with or the troubles of the hurt, whatever, and like a lot that we're talking about is go to God, vulnerable, honestly. 26:05.032 --> 26:11.901 [SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, what we said to a lot of times it's like, okay, let's rely on God, but then how do we practically do that? 26:12.401 --> 26:16.446 [SPEAKER_00]: Do the day-to-day, and that's what I share a lot about in the book, what God taught me. 26:16.426 --> 26:18.850 [SPEAKER_00]: How do I truly depend on you, Lord? 26:19.411 --> 26:24.238 [SPEAKER_00]: That's what I feel like he taught me through these examples that we've been talking about. 26:24.719 --> 26:25.681 [SPEAKER_00]: And he's still teaching me. 26:25.821 --> 26:38.161 [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's what I share in the book, what he taught me, and hopes that it will help the reader, and I just pray in hope that they have healing and comfort and peace, and just that deeper intimacy with the Lord. 26:38.541 --> 26:39.042 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 26:39.022 --> 26:57.317 [SPEAKER_01]: And I really love, I was very attracted to the morning and night part of this devotional because I think that's really unique and and then as busy parents who have kids who wake up early in lunch is to pack and you know a million things going on it's really easy to either skip a morning devotional or do it and then just like. 26:57.297 --> 27:13.695 [SPEAKER_01]: kind of check the box but I love that night like you circle back to yes this still applies you know like we need a God in the morning We need God at night, too, and so it's just like the double reminder that God's present throughout our entire day So I really appreciate that especially as busy parents. 27:13.795 --> 27:17.739 [SPEAKER_01]: It's more to do but the best way Yeah, right. 27:18.020 --> 27:18.420 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, good. 27:18.460 --> 27:19.021 [SPEAKER_00]: I love that. 27:19.041 --> 27:26.629 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah Tell us where we can get a copy of the book where we can connect with you so people can follow along with 27:26.609 --> 27:27.510 [SPEAKER_01]: everything that you share. 27:27.771 --> 27:28.111 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 27:28.392 --> 27:28.632 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 27:28.692 --> 27:31.797 [SPEAKER_00]: So my book, again, it's called an un-troubled heart. 27:31.817 --> 27:36.243 [SPEAKER_00]: And you can find that on Amazon or other major book retailers. 27:36.404 --> 27:39.769 [SPEAKER_00]: I have a website where it lists the other like Target. 27:40.309 --> 27:42.032 [SPEAKER_00]: Barnes and Noble, I have a links to those. 27:42.052 --> 27:46.699 [SPEAKER_00]: So you can also find that on my website, Cara, K-A-R-A, stout. 27:46.899 --> 27:48.442 [SPEAKER_00]: So Cara, stout.com. 27:48.642 --> 27:52.768 [SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm on Instagram under sincerely by Cara. 27:52.748 --> 27:55.054 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll put all that links and channels, people can find it. 27:55.195 --> 28:02.535 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, but thank you so much for being with me and just sharing part of your story and just being so vulnerable and everything that I just appreciate you. 28:02.636 --> 28:03.117 [SPEAKER_01]: So thank you. 28:03.879 --> 28:04.621 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, staff. 28:04.962 --> 28:05.965 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much. 28:07.919 --> 28:11.003 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much again for listening to the Christian parenting podcast. 28:11.063 --> 28:13.827 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so grateful to Cara for sharing her story with us. 28:13.847 --> 28:19.515 [SPEAKER_01]: I think sometimes we just need permission to say, I'm hurting, but I'm still holding on to God. 28:19.615 --> 28:24.102 [SPEAKER_01]: And I know that as I make my faith weak, it actually shows really strong faith. 28:24.342 --> 28:27.126 [SPEAKER_01]: So if you are in a heart disease, I'm like that right now. 28:27.106 --> 28:35.683 [SPEAKER_01]: And just want to point you to care as devotional and untrubbled heart, we'll link it and show notes along with Kira's info so that you can follow her and keep being encouraged by her wisdom. 28:35.703 --> 28:37.407 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you again for listening. 28:37.627 --> 28:39.691 [SPEAKER_01]: May you know today that God sees you. 28:39.891 --> 28:43.278 [SPEAKER_01]: He is not forgotten you and he is close to your broken heart. 28:43.298 --> 28:48.709 [SPEAKER_01]: May his peace guard your mind and calm your spirit as you parent as you wait and as you hope.