[SPEAKER_01]: Have you ever been in the classroom where the teacher asks a question or put something on the board?
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know that and you know the answer.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then the majority of the class and the loud ones give a different answer.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then one after the other give a different answer.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then to the point, we start questioning your own self.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you think, do I really know why don't I know?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or sometimes you feel, I better not say anything.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to stand out, I've got a feeling.
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you ever been in a situation where your friends do something and you know that you shouldn't do it?
[SPEAKER_01]: But then this fear comes into you and it's lack of confidence and you say, man, I don't want to stand out, I better just go with the flow.
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you been in that situation?
[SPEAKER_01]: These are all examples of people.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll bring to you a little story.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, this story did happen at the time of the Prophet ﷺ, and part of it is authentic and part of it is weak, but I'll tell you the story and tell you which area in Naqura'an was most likely referring to this story.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if the entire story is not accurate, the moral of the story is very true and parts of it did really happen.
[SPEAKER_01]: The story is at the time of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
[SPEAKER_01]: the Hague and a few other commentators of Tafseer have graded this story as good and reliable and others that gave part of the story.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about a companion by the name of Aukba Ibn Abim Wait.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or, it was not Okba, more accurately, it was his father, Abu Ma'ait.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, the names don't matter to you.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a man, I said, companion, it wasn't really a companion.
[SPEAKER_01]: He was a disbelieving man, a kefir, an idolator of high status in the Mac and community.
[SPEAKER_01]: Akbar Nabongay, then his father Abongay, of high status.
[SPEAKER_01]: They were among the chiefs.
[SPEAKER_01]: And obviously, when you hear about chiefs and people of high status, what happens?
[SPEAKER_01]: They hang around with people who are also similar to them of high status.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like today when you have somebody who is a successful multi-millionaire entrepreneur or a person of high caliber and society, you find that they have their own groups and they've got to conform to a certain standard and dressed in a certain way and talk in a certain way, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you have different people at school, for example, you've finally got your group and this person's got their group, not because they get along with them, but because they've got an image to uphold, for example, and so on and so forth.
[SPEAKER_01]: So this man, Alqib Abnabwaiid, or his father Waiid, he used to be friends and close allies with another great chief of Makkah, he's one, this one was a really bad person.
[SPEAKER_01]: correct me, but insist is if I'm wrong, I think he was, let me just look at up here, I think I've got it over here in Shia Allahud'a'ala, he was, yeah, Obey Ibn Ukhalif.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, Obey Ibn Ukhalif, he hated the messengers of Allah, he hated his message.
[SPEAKER_01]: The reason he hated him was because of what he was calling, he was calling to leave idolatry and to guide them to the Quran, which meant that everything they stood for,
[SPEAKER_01]: in the way that they controlled society on false beliefs was going to go and they have to face the truth.
[SPEAKER_01]: They couldn't handle that because this was controlling power.
[SPEAKER_01]: So one day, what happened, Abdullah Abbas narrates that Abun Abun Wahid used to be seen sitting in the gatherings
[SPEAKER_01]: And he used to be intrigued listening to his teachings.
[SPEAKER_01]: He would secretly go and sit among the gatherings and listen to his teachings.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it is said that one day he invited this man he invited the chiefs of Makkah for a big feast.
[SPEAKER_01]: And among them was the Prophet Salallahu alaihi said, you come as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because Muhammad Salam was from a big elite tribe.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the problem is we apply him refused to eat.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, this is the part is the weak narration.
[SPEAKER_01]: But even if let's say it was weak, the moral is true, that he said to Abu Mair, I will not eat until you say the Shahada.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I bought my eight set, please just eat without the shahada.
[SPEAKER_01]: In the end, I bought my eight set, the shahada.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just for the sake of making the proper piece of punny meat out of embarrassment.
[SPEAKER_01]: So the proper piece of punny meat.
[SPEAKER_01]: The news went around whether the proper piece of punny said that team or not, I bought my eight, used to sit in his gatherings.
[SPEAKER_01]: The news went out that I bought my eight was finding a bit of, you know,
[SPEAKER_01]: He's getting close to the Prophet ﷺ. He's listening to his words.
[SPEAKER_01]: It seems like he's going to join his group, they said.
[SPEAKER_01]: So Obeyed No Khalif, one of the big evil shaytan's of Quraish, he comes up to this al-Aviz Abu Mu'ayet, O'Hokbah, whichever one it was, and he says to him, I hear that you stand and hang around over there.
[SPEAKER_01]: I also heard that you had converted.
[SPEAKER_01]: Abbas, he says that he had converted, maybe in this instance or some other time.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Abu Muayyat, he got embarrassed and he got scared of the fact that he's going to lose his status and he's going to lose his allegiance with this man, Obeyyab Nuhalaf and all that stuff, so then he went shy and he said, no, no, no, no, I only said the Shahada to, you know, have embarrassment.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't really mean it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not just sitting there to listen to what he's saying to the people so I can work against it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously he lied, but the peer pressure from this man, right, really got to him.
[SPEAKER_01]: and he couldn't face him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Instead, the Sha'itlan came and whispered to Abu Mu'ayyud and kept on fueling his desire to listen and not give up his status and so on.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then he said, no, no, I'm not following him, then obey his system.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will not accept you until you do something bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want you to prove it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to go, now this is also a weak narrative says, go and spit in the face of the Prophet, face of Muhammad ﷺ. The truth is that he told him to prove it in some way.
[SPEAKER_01]: But the point is, he had to go and do something bad in order to prove his friendship, his allegiance, and that he belongs to his group.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you with us or against us?
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you part of us or part of them?
[SPEAKER_01]: Who are you with, huh?
[SPEAKER_01]: We can relate to that, can't we?
[SPEAKER_01]: And what happened?
[SPEAKER_01]: He went and he went against the messenger salalali wa salam and chose to go with his bad friend, the evil one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Both of them were killed in the first battle called the Battle of Badr.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they were amongst the ones the prophet, if I didn't make it bad, I against them because of their tyrannical evil, which they did and chaos and the destruction and killing that they caused.
[SPEAKER_01]: The Mufasirun, the commentator, say it is because of this incident that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala revealed the following verse in Surat al-Fracon, verse 25 to 29, listen to it carefully.
[SPEAKER_01]: I would have been lay him in a shade on your regime.
[SPEAKER_00]: Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there is no God, and there is no God, and there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God, there is no God,
[SPEAKER_00]: lakad avan lani anivik hini bada ijani wakana shaypan olin sani khad ula Allah says, Adain, when the wrong door will bite his hands not your nails, the wrong door will bite his
[SPEAKER_01]: His hands literally bite your hands because the nervousness on that day is going to be tremendous and this is a sign of deep regret.
[SPEAKER_01]: A day when the wrong door will bite his hands saying, would that I had stood by the messenger?
[SPEAKER_01]: Woe is me, would that I had not taken such a one for a friend?
[SPEAKER_01]: He led me astray from the admonition that had come to me, shaytan proved to be a great betrayer of man.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is what people who chose to give in to the peer pressure, and to conform to the little groups and friends and mates and a society which keeps dragging them away.
[SPEAKER_01]: And because they want to status, they want to be like, they want to create a reputation, or maybe they just are not strong enough in their own beliefs and their own identity.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe they're just wanting to be known.
[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously there are many reasons why a person forced the people to talk about it in shell, and also talk about being threatened and coerced and forced into it,
[SPEAKER_01]: But those who just do it because of materialistic gain, you want to show off, you want to be known, you want to be a cool dude, you want to be known as a sick dude, as a, you know, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, you want to call yourself, or maybe there's a group where all the, uh, good-looking guys are there, or the good-looking girls are there, and you want to be part of that group so they can get some attention, you know, have a little bit of the taste.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or maybe it's curiosity, maybe curiosity, maybe you just want to give it a go and try some hot-on for a little bit, live yourself a couple of days with the shaitan, maybe.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then repent later, you know, curiosity.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mentioned it before when you're in an elevator and you see that red button, the kid just wants to press that.
[SPEAKER_01]: the red button.
[SPEAKER_01]: The red button says dangerous emergency.
[SPEAKER_01]: The kid wants to press that, red button.
[SPEAKER_01]: How to little nace, she's about two, three years old, there's a little packet of medicine and got a bit of habit of butterkin and they've got juice inside, it's a little bit nice and soft.
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, don't touch this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Next minute, she's crying.
[SPEAKER_01]: I come back, she touched the juice and it burst into her eye.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's have had a lot, and she learned to be glistened.
[SPEAKER_01]: Subhanallah, it's in our nature.
[SPEAKER_01]: Children from we're born.
[SPEAKER_01]: If we can't have it, we want to try it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Curiosity, the reason why Adam, Ali, his cellar, ate from there, forbidden, tree.
[SPEAKER_01]: Shaitan came to him and said, it's because of this, it's because of that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't eat from, if you eat from the tree, this and that would happen.
[SPEAKER_01]: God only told you that because of that, and he started making up stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they fell prey to the peer pressure of the Shaitan.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Allah said, then, did I not tell you he's your enemy, don't follow him?
[SPEAKER_01]: So peer pressure in that way, a lower question us.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'll give you four things to think about in Shaitan, Allah, when thinking about peer pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: First of all, what is peer pressure?
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to know what it is.
[SPEAKER_01]: peer pressure or influence is when you do something because you want to feel accepted and valued by your friends or others around you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your community or your school group or your society, your liver monk, even family members as we said, and they can influence you to change your behaviors, your decisions, your beliefs, and how you act and speak and so on.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you have those other people who just are mentally lazy.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they say, everybody's doing it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll just go with the flow.
[SPEAKER_01]: Going with the flow is mentioned in the Quran.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Allah gives the example of those who just follow and go with the flow and don't care right or wrong, mindlessly and blindly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't know where they're hitting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Allah describes these types of people like cattle.
[SPEAKER_01]: cows, livestock.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why does he describe him like livestock?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's what a sheep and cattle do.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what the farmer knows.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, guide one cow that way or one sheep that way and you're all the rest of the sheep what do they do?
[SPEAKER_01]: They follow.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's an art.
[SPEAKER_01]: So a lot says to her, don't be like sheep.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't be like livestock.
[SPEAKER_01]: Prophet Ibrahim Ali
[SPEAKER_01]: in Saurat 29 verse 25 he says he Abraham said you have taken up idols instead of Allah as a bond of love among yourselves in the present life because of your peer pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: But on the day of resurrection you will disown and curse one another your refuge shall be the fire and none will come to your aid.
[SPEAKER_01]: These are people who worship idols and just because they wanted to conform and be part of the community and love them have this allegiance here it's us where the group.
[SPEAKER_01]: go with the flow.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Allah mentions in the Quran in another verse where he says, or do they think that most of them listen or understand, they are only like cattle, no, more than that they are astray from the right way.
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you imagine a person who's walking on the street?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, you're in the city, you're walking.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know where you're heading, you're going towards a destination.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then you see this person in front of you and you forget where you're going, so you just follow this person wherever he goes.
[SPEAKER_01]: You just keep following that person, keep following that person.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then that person turns a left, and what do you do?
[SPEAKER_01]: Follow him left, then right, he keep going.
[SPEAKER_01]: And by the time you discover where you were going, you're looking at where am I, what was I doing?
[SPEAKER_01]: This is just blind following, and the last time that tells us don't do that, don't just go with the flow.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everybody does it, we should do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a trend, everybody just do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, and Muslim is not like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Muslim is aware and knows right from wrong and stands with integrity.
[SPEAKER_01]: Integrity means that whether people see you or in private, you still stick to your values and your morals.
[SPEAKER_01]: What are the values and roles of a Muslim?
[SPEAKER_01]: What are lots of panuata illogated us with?
[SPEAKER_01]: Once you learn and that's why I tell and always advise my brothers and sisters do not leave the Quran, do not leave the Quran and ask two things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Number one, be aware not to be a blind mindless follower.
[SPEAKER_01]: Think, think is this right or wrong and then follow the right path.
[SPEAKER_01]: If the peer pressure or the group or the friend,
[SPEAKER_01]: is influencing you to something good, something moral, something that Allah loves to your benefit and it's good, then that's a good friend, that's a good community, that's a good pure influence, follow it and if they are telling you or influencing you to something wrong and you know it's wrong,
[SPEAKER_01]: Then I'm sorry my brother and sister, you're the one who is putting yourself into trouble.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, the second thing is read the Quran and try to learn what it tells you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, lie every time you open a Quran you start to read your translation and you try to understand even if you've spent 15 minutes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, lie opens your mind and your heart and you become so aware about what life is.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're aware of the tricks that come your way in a world where there is this hysteria.
[SPEAKER_01]: of the entertainment industry, entertain, entertain, entertain.
[SPEAKER_01]: And now with social media scrolling every second, every second entertainment, ha ha ha, indulgence, feed the desire, you're bound to lose yourself and to forget and occupy your time with senseless things before you know it, time has run out and emitting a loss of Hannah, who at the either.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then what would have been for us after that?
[SPEAKER_01]: We've lost and destroyed our valuable time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, it's good to have fun sometimes, good to have some friends with your joke around, but not to the point where they lead you a straight.
[SPEAKER_01]: So number one, don't be mindless like a sheep.
[SPEAKER_01]: Number two, like a sheep follower.
[SPEAKER_01]: Number two, connect with the Quran because the Quran always takes you out of this world and makes you face reality, the truth.
[SPEAKER_01]: Number three, have good friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if it's one or two, where do you find these good friends if you don't have them?
[SPEAKER_01]: If they're not within your family?
[SPEAKER_01]: If they're not within your school?
[SPEAKER_01]: You probably find them in places like the mosque.
[SPEAKER_01]: You probably find them in places like Islamic events.
[SPEAKER_01]: You probably find them in places where there is charity work, for example, you might, if another thing is migrate.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't mean migrate from the country.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can virtually migrate.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, in the 21st century, we have the internet.
[SPEAKER_01]: And social media, there are so many institutions, so many groups and organizations and communities online that you can join and become a member of beautiful communities.
[SPEAKER_01]: They've got series of lectures, they've got series of talks, some of them you're able to communicate with its followers and learn and encourage each other.
[SPEAKER_01]: Have a virtual migration.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Many of these alhamdulillah, where you can connect yourself with it.
[SPEAKER_01]: One of them is called Muslim Central, Mashallah.
[SPEAKER_01]: They've got all our talks.
[SPEAKER_01]: All the talks from here, from Prismoski's on their Mashallah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Along with many other Mashayahs and scholars, young and old Mashallah that you can connect with inshallah, ta'ala.
[SPEAKER_01]: That one friend of those two friends is all you need inshallah, ta'ala, in order to remind you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Nam.
[SPEAKER_01]: My brothers and sisters, the good friends, and the Prophet ﷺ, he told us, a good friend is like the seller of perfume.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hadith is in Bukhari, like the seller of perfume.
[SPEAKER_01]: And a bad friend is like the blacksmith, who works with steel and hate.
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, if you'd merely enter the shop of the perfume seller or the colon seller, even if you don't buy anything, he will give to you, with what, he will give to you with a sample,
[SPEAKER_01]: Or at least you'll come out smelling a little bit nicer, or you'll smell something nice on your mood will change.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if you don't buy anything.
[SPEAKER_01]: But the blacksmith and a person who works with fire and ashes and steel, you're going, even if you don't do anything you come out smelling bad.
[SPEAKER_01]: So the point is brothers and sisters, that's the friendship circles.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, how much pee pressure can be very hard in that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, I think I've said this story before, as a teacher, for many years, that many stories of youngsters who come to me about these problems with peer pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Some of them get, they start off really good mashah, a lot, and suddenly the wrong groups comes around and they awaken, they fall prey to them next minute, they're out of the school, they kick out, or they start failing, or they've got problems, or issues start to happen, or they start getting disconnected from their own family, and so on and so and so forth.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a serious issue, and it happens mostly between the ages, so between the ages of 10 to 25, is the biggest peer pressure challenge, and the most statistic show between 14 and 16 is the most crucial age.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I remember one young man in the United, you had turned 14, 15, long time ago, so to me, I've had these friends since I was in great prep, they're the best friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: Suddenly, they've all changed, because they reached puberty, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Now they won't explore and try things.
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, the other day, I'll went out with them on a weekend, and one of them brought cigarettes from his father.
[SPEAKER_01]: His father's smoke cigarettes is kidn... What do you expect if the parent do the wrong things?
[SPEAKER_01]: Children are going to obey, but you're going to have to talk to your children if you're addicted to it and try your best not to smoke in front of him and do things at least that's better.
[SPEAKER_01]: But anyway, this kid comes and brings cigarettes and some for his nice mates.
[SPEAKER_01]: His generous masha Allah, he shares his loyal.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a friend you should have not.
[SPEAKER_01]: That was about 17 years ago I'm talking about.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, I'm going to share a lot with advanced.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're more technologically advanced.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're a advanced civilization.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no more cigarettes, now it's vapes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Vapes, sheeshadjoins.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we even give Darwin, sheeshadjoins.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to sit down.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, Ramadam is coming.
[SPEAKER_01]: Has been a lower now, I'll work here.
[SPEAKER_01]: No need, I'm not putting anyone down.
[SPEAKER_01]: We all have our mistakes and sins and problems, metlospantal, our sisters, and take us out of bad environments, I mean, keep the shade on away from us.
[SPEAKER_01]: He said to me, I went there and he started smoking.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, there aren't just peer pressure you by just bringing you the cigarette and say, hey, smoke this poison.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's say, hey, look what I can do.
[SPEAKER_01]: Circles.
[SPEAKER_01]: But look what else I can do, pop, pop, pop, pop.
[SPEAKER_01]: Chains, another kid's gonna seek man, cool.
[SPEAKER_01]: Then he wants to try one.
[SPEAKER_01]: He wants to make circles as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: So the friends start going ahead, some of them already try to circle, pop, pop.
[SPEAKER_01]: This kid's never tried a cigarette.
[SPEAKER_01]: He goes, man, I'm gonna miss out.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna be cool, I'm gonna lose my friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because no, no, no, I don't wanna hit, no guy, you're a wimp, can't smoke.
[SPEAKER_01]: Come on, just try it, well, you'll enjoy it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just like the shape one,
[SPEAKER_01]: did with Adam.
[SPEAKER_01]: He goes, I'm gonna let either in smoke.
[SPEAKER_01]: What am I gonna do?
[SPEAKER_01]: So what am I gonna do next weekend?
[SPEAKER_01]: They're gonna call me, I have to go out.
[SPEAKER_01]: If I say no, the problem is I said, say no to them.
[SPEAKER_01]: So the thing is, I'll be, I start out of their circle.
[SPEAKER_01]: I said in so be it.
[SPEAKER_01]: So be it, maybe it's time that Allah's plant the Isle, is giving it this test, which direction are you going to go?
[SPEAKER_01]: Now of course it doesn't, it's not just the cigarettes anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: See, one thing drags to another.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so Pan Allah, years when past the niece friends, they ended up what we expected.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll learn now, they're older, 25, 26 years old, 28, 30.
[SPEAKER_01]: They've changed their lives, but during that time, fell into many predicaments.
[SPEAKER_01]: This boy, Masha Allah, I set to him number one.
[SPEAKER_01]: You say, I'm not going out boys.
[SPEAKER_01]: He goes, I can't just say, I'm going to make excuses.
[SPEAKER_01]: What if I'm lying?
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, do it kind of like a way that you're not lying, but you are, and it's something like, no, I've got to, I've got to, you know, I'm spending time with family there.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've got something on.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if it's just eating, even if you once made macaroni and spaghetti, and you want to eat and say, we've got a family thing happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you kind of are not lying, but try to get out of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys, what if they end up going, they're going to have to stand your ground.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's standing around saying, no, I'm not going to make cigarettes, boys, that's... joke about it, saying up, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's making cigarettes.
[SPEAKER_01]: What's that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do something.
[SPEAKER_01]: So he tried, comes back and says, sir, well, Allah, He was so hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: I swear to it, and I don't know how I did it, but Hamdulillah, I refused, but now that I don't call me anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, good.
[SPEAKER_01]: Marish, they will come back to you one day, insha'Allah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because a person who stands his ground has got integrity and he's respected and a lost pound the higher that brings good people to them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And a lost pound the higher the chooses these types of people to be leaders.
[SPEAKER_01]: Otherwise, if you're a sheep who follows, there is no benefit in you.
[SPEAKER_01]: until you change in shahAllah, and that's why Islam encourages us to be, wants us to be leaders of ourselves, number one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Doesn't have to be a leader of a community, but of yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Allah Almighty, I want you to be strong, Allah Almighty, I want you to look after yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Allah Almighty, I want you to be ahead in shahAllah, to be healthy, to be fit in every way, physically, spiritually, mentally, religiously, deen in every way in shahAllah, O Tad.
[SPEAKER_01]: So my brothers and sisters,
[SPEAKER_01]: There was an experiment done, I'll just mention, it's called the Solomon Ash conformity line experiment.
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyone heard of that one before?
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: So basically this psychologist, he brought in about eight people into a room and he wanted to test how people conform, even if when something's totally wrong.
[SPEAKER_01]: So he got seven actors.
[SPEAKER_01]: And one, he would change the one.
[SPEAKER_01]: One would sit at the back and not know what's going on.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he drew, he had two drawings.
[SPEAKER_01]: One big line, let's say it was about 20 centimeters long.
[SPEAKER_01]: And on another board, he had three lines.
[SPEAKER_01]: The middle line was 20 centimeters, exactly the same as the 20 centimeter line on the other one.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he drew some smaller lines next to that 20 centimeter line.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then he said to everyone, which line is the exact same size as the 20 centimeter line?
[SPEAKER_01]: And he told the seven actors to lie, to say that line or that line.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that one person who didn't know that they were lying, he has to say which line.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the results were that about 75% of repeating this, except 75% of the participants who didn't know that it was an act, they just went with the flow and chose the small line.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even though it's so obvious the 20 centimeters equals the 20 centimeters.
[SPEAKER_01]: And what this show, obviously there's limitations that's experiment, but what this shows is that there is this thing with us that we don't want to feel weird or feel like we're not normal or something like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And once you can cross that while Allah here I guarantee the idni lat doors are going to open for you in every direction.
[SPEAKER_01]: The confidence level will boost through the roof in a healthy way.
[SPEAKER_01]: Your self esteem will go up.
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll have control over yourself and people will follow you in units that are following them in a good way in shall Allah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now of course brothers and sisters, you know, it's very hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why do people fall to peer pressure?
[SPEAKER_01]: You've got to understand.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's some five reasons I'll give you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Number one, you feel, maybe you don't have any friends friends to hang out with.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you want to join that bad group.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you're afraid of being rejected or teased.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you join a group to hide in between them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe a refrigerator embarrassment or judgment, it's going to judge me, or embarrassment.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you feel a need to belong.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you feel that it's going to give you safety by being with that group, or maybe to boost your popularity and self-esteem.
[SPEAKER_01]: All of these are what the Shaitan comes and scares you with.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Subhanallah, as soon as you realize this,
[SPEAKER_01]: Then in Shara Allah Allah is the first step of knowing which direction you are going to go.
[SPEAKER_01]: We said before that the people who fall into this are many.
[SPEAKER_01]: Some of the reasons that, or some of the different kinds of peer pressure and places that people get you is in the following ways, there are reports and research that show that 9% of teens reported peer pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: were prone to peer pressure, especially in the areas of appearance, social status and relationships.
[SPEAKER_01]: A third of the teens said that I began taking pills and painkillers and cutting hands and stuff to peer pressure after peer pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: 27% reported that they went on drugs because of peer pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: I gave you the example of the boy with the cigarettes, cigarettes, leave some other things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, some people will come up to and try to justify this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't believe that there's gateway drugs.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't believe that there's drugs that if you start someone's going to take it to something else.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a lie.
[SPEAKER_01]: The studies are tremendous against them.
[SPEAKER_01]: The people who like the drugs are going to try and justify it, they'll tell you stuff like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like what the shaitan did to Erdem Ali's Selam, he told them, I swear, I swear by God, that he, you know, it's good for you to eat from that tree.
[SPEAKER_01]: And manipulation.
[SPEAKER_01]: About 24% said that peer pressure made them go on vapes and cigarettes.
[SPEAKER_01]: About 32% say that peer pressure made them go, excuse me, for the word, serious sexual activity.
[SPEAKER_01]: And a high percentage, because of peer pressure, they reported that they engaged in other indecent sexual activity, such as the type of texting they do, they just change the T to an S, the type of texting, and they went to boyfriend and girlfriend relationships or tried certain acts like that because of peer pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: The friends would come up, they would be guilty themselves, and they would encourage their own friends to try it out.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they would say things like, Shadhan gives them ideas.
[SPEAKER_01]: They'll say, look, in the beginning, it's hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: Afterwards, it gets easy.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's give it a try.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just for fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: It won't go any further.
[SPEAKER_01]: The Subhan Allah, the area of relationships and sexual activity is one of the most dangerous areas that it'd be coming out of time.
[SPEAKER_01]: hyperhyperhyper problems, especially with social media and the internet, you've got problems like permanency.
[SPEAKER_01]: Once you post something, once you speak something, once you communicate, once you send something, so Pamela, you never know when someone's going to blackmail you with it, or they're going to use it against you, or they share it with their friends, and you don't even know, sometimes they'll do it out of just fun, or they'll do it out of, you know,
[SPEAKER_01]: The worst thing we can do today is to engage in these types of intimate acts, even if through just normal texting, online.
[SPEAKER_01]: And once it's out, they can never bring it back.
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is a growing, growing, growing epidemic at the moment, at Los Mantelas Sabas and our children.
[SPEAKER_01]: It starts with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: not crossing your boundaries and saying no and you stop yourself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Nobody's going to nobody can force you in Shalala.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, peer pressure is in dressing in a certain way, sometimes they say drive without a license, let's the wag school, not being friends with someone, they say, hey, a few friends with them, you know, good friends with me, drinking beer and alcohol, about 38% were reported to have done it because of peer pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Other things like
[SPEAKER_01]: and about 30% reported that their social status improved because of peer pressure.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if your social status and your importance improves, that's good.
[SPEAKER_01]: But so long as it's, so long as what you are doing and following is good, but if you're following something bad, then this so-called popularity that you think you're getting is your destruction.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's going to destroy you.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a false popularity.
[SPEAKER_01]: And usually the people around you influence you that way, did the first ones to throw you under the bus, man?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or lower you, they'll throw you under the bus.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I believe that who fears Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will never throw you under the bus.
[SPEAKER_01]: The one who truly fears Allah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you might see somebody who looks religious and you heard stories about them that they threw their friend under the bus you see can happen.
[SPEAKER_01]: But religious person is not just on the outside, it's not just with the beard or the hijab or with the solar.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's in our behavior and our actions.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's why I tell people, be careful about sharing your secrets, your inner desires, your plans and your goals, and everything about you to a person, you don't really know very well yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, one man came to Amara Bukhapahra, the Allah, I know.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he said, yeah, Amira, what many and so and so is a good person.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will trust him with this or that.
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, have you traveled with him?
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, have you ever dealt with him in money or property?
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, have you ever engaged in anything that is sensitive in life?
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's maybe you saw him praying a lot in the mustard.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe he's got a nice voice in the Quran.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe he can read nicely.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe he said a few nice religious words, yes?
[SPEAKER_01]: He said, well, lahir, you don't know him at all.
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyone of us can on the outside look like it, but it's very hard to find people who truly are God fearing a secret and you know, open the takes time and I especially advise our young sisters As I told you, I'm like a father to you and share a lot and I've been a teacher with Counseling young children young teenagers especially a lot of the the the girls the young girls
[SPEAKER_01]: find that they think that to make a friend, to make a friend with groups or with another girl, they think that, you know, you've got to share secrets about yourself or your private, you know, feelings, right, and then she tells you and you tell her, and suddenly you call yourselves BFFs, I mean, there's more than younger ones, but even when life happens with the adults, it happens with the adults, but more on adult level.
[SPEAKER_01]: And also happens with the boys in the men.
[SPEAKER_01]: Did you know that there is something called religious peer pressure?
[SPEAKER_01]: What do I mean by that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, a lot tells us in the Quran to command good and prohibit evil.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we advise and we guide and we influence others to do good.
[SPEAKER_01]: And we advise and stand up against the wrong
[SPEAKER_01]: in various degrees.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is good.
[SPEAKER_01]: And Islam, at the end of Masihah, religion is all about advising one another.
[SPEAKER_01]: A friend of yours who reminds you and tells you about Salah, tells you about right and wrong, tells you, look man, if you're not going to stop that, I'm going.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or leaves the gathering until you change the topic, or maybe you're joking in appropriate instances.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I'm not taking pardon and comes back.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is a friend you must hold on to.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a friend on the day of judgment is also going to save you being in the Allah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because Allah says in the Qur'an, al-Achillah, O yomah, ibn Baaduhum, libadin, aaduh, ibn Al-Al-Muttakin.
[SPEAKER_01]: The closest of friends on the day of just a moment will be the greatest enemies, except those used to fear Allah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You will drag them and tell them, oh, a lot, forgive my friend.
[SPEAKER_01]: My friend used to do this, so I'm going to allow you to see my mother nice to see him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if he's done bad, and a lost man that because of you will give that person forgiveness.
[SPEAKER_01]: Did you know that?
[SPEAKER_01]: This is in the Hadiths in Bukhari and Muslim.
[SPEAKER_01]: Lots of stories also in the Quran that the believers will intercede for one another.
[SPEAKER_01]: But those who weren't following the right path, they will not intercede for him.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what they're going to do?
[SPEAKER_01]: they're going to blame you and you're going to blame them, you're going to curse them and they're going to curse you and you're going to swear at them and you're going to everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what's going to happen on the day of judgment.
[SPEAKER_01]: But as insist as the religious peer pressure is not what you think.
[SPEAKER_01]: We should advise one another and lead each other in the right path, but there are two things.
[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously, there's no wisdom in pressuring someone to do acts of worship.
[SPEAKER_01]: You must first, you must do this, you have to do it with wisdom and care.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's hard with our children, but we sometimes do need to put pressure on our own children, and I think Australia.
[SPEAKER_01]: But avoid violence, avoid denigrations, avoid, you know, put downs and things like that.