[SPEAKER_00]: Really, really gay podcast that we call dance a gay, as podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a gay-out name for a gay-out podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Emi Loro is here for a horny chat on that's a gay ass podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Emi you said you just came from the gym.
[SPEAKER_00]: Was there any cruising or did you keep it pretty chase?
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no cruising on in this gym session.
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe if I if I wasn't running late, but I actually just came from there so I haven't even show it or anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'll get into some of those questions about sure musk about your journey as a bisexual king your journey as recently launching a certain
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, F, but before we get into that, I would like to first ask you the internet tells me you live in Texas or is it Brooklyn or what's going on?
[SPEAKER_00]: Where are you?
[SPEAKER_01]: I live in Brooklyn currently, but I grew up in Texas.
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's a lot of misinformation about me on the internet.
[SPEAKER_01]: I recently looked up my own age on Google to see what came up.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm actually missing according to Google
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, I'm so sorry that you've got this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know it's terrible.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's something that I'm two years ago that gave the internet dismiss information or is it just faulty AI?
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it's just a music video that I launched two years ago in which I go missing AI.
[SPEAKER_01]: In all its brilliance has decided to take that as fact.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you have a lot of videos on your TikTok and that's how I found you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very very excited to talk to you because your your videos are so effortlessly honest and graphic one might say yeah, but a lot of your videos are about how you say you look a lot older than you really are so Tell the listeners how older you and how old do people think you are.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm 24 I'll be 25 in April and people think I'm 35 sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: 35 to 37 seems to be what people guess.
[SPEAKER_01]: So how does that make you feel?
[SPEAKER_01]: I kind of love it to be honest.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like the sort of I guess Daddy vacation of me recently is something that I've been enjoying a lot.
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, I think as a 24 year old I would rather people think I'm older than younger
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, very well said I've always been a person who's looked like sure 36 40.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm currently 36 So I kind of feel like thank God.
[SPEAKER_00]: I finally got to the age people think but I was like 16 years old and people thought they're like what you have a full beard Yeah, do you feel emotionally though like daddy or do you like let's say for example in a bedroom scenario Would you like to be held as baby or do you prefer to be daddy?
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, I definitely prefer to be daddy for sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, then if the dad issue fits, you have such an interesting story, because you are a musician, you are a content creator, but you're also bisexual.
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you tell me, I mean, when did this bisexual identity become something that you embraced?
[SPEAKER_00]: Has it been a recent piece of news or has it been for years and years?
[SPEAKER_01]: It's, I think the honest answer to that is years and years, but I think the way that I've identified has definitely fluctuated.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I knew since I was six years old, I had boy crushes and I had girl crushes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was also very fortunate to have been raised by two very liberal left wing accepting parents who my entire life was always like,
[SPEAKER_01]: do what you want, love who you want, like be who you are, you know.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it was never like a source of confusion for me in that sense.
[SPEAKER_01]: However, the sort of discussion of gender is something that I remember coming into the mainstream as a teenager.
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember being like 15 and up until then, it was like you're either
[SPEAKER_01]: cisgender to your trans this like at least what I remembered it being right wasn't I don't I didn't I remember when non-binary and they then and like more fluid discussions of gender sort of came into the mainstream I remember that very vividly as a teenager and so there was a period when I was around 1415 where I remember thinking wait a minute if I'm a guy
[SPEAKER_01]: but I sometimes like painting my nails and I sometimes like putting on wigs and like doing more feminine things.
[SPEAKER_01]: then I must be a woman and I had a period for literally like a month, two months where I genuinely thought I was transgender because I was like, well, I'm a guy that does these things, so that was me and I'm a woman, you know what I'm saying?
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, that's really interesting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it makes a lot of sense because I think when I was growing up, not to say that we're like, that crazy different.
[SPEAKER_00]: But like 10 years is enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, 12 years is enough time.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I was growing up very much, like you were saying, there was not really,
[SPEAKER_00]: even an evolved conversation about gender, but I can see why if there was more of a conversation around gender identity being more of a spectrum when you yourself are discovering who you are, I would have had the exact same thoughts because I too, when my mom would go to get her manicures done, I would sit next to her and put some, I would only do one of my nails because I didn't want to be too gay.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm sure that,
[SPEAKER_00]: gender would have come into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would put my towel on my head like a beach towel.
[SPEAKER_01]: I did the same thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on now.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like it, but so let's now cut to now we're sitting with Emila Roe on that's a gas podcast.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are the pronouns he him?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is she a trans clean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Who is Emila Roe?
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, the pronouns are very much he him.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was when I went to my first like gay straight aligns meeting in high school, a couple months after that.
[SPEAKER_01]: That was when I heard non-binary for the first time and they them for the first time and we would go around at the beginning of the meeting and say our pronouns and I was like the fucker pronouns, like what's going on?
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's when I realized, oh, I'm actually allowed to just be a man and do these things.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying and thank God and thank God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, can we also shout it for a second your parents your Beautifully open parents.
[SPEAKER_00]: We always want to shout out the good ones and it sounds like a great job Where was this gay straight aligns the was this where you were you growing up in Texas?
[SPEAKER_00]: This was in my high school in Texas.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, is it Austin was that where it is?
[SPEAKER_00]: It was Austin Texas which explains some of the liberal nests
[SPEAKER_01]: which, and within what Texas is, is kind of its own thing, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: It almost feels like a smaller version of LA, like a section of LA broke off, and like migrated to Texas.
[SPEAKER_00]: Are your parents like hippies?
[SPEAKER_00]: Are they creatives?
[SPEAKER_00]: Are they just good people?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are they so open-minded?
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, my dad was raised Catholic and very conservative.
[SPEAKER_01]: He had very conservative Catholic parents.
[SPEAKER_01]: He just, that was not his beliefs.
[SPEAKER_01]: My dad is also a writer and a journalist.
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, kind of similar to me, grew up in a very small town.
[SPEAKER_01]: In Mexico, not in Texas, and then we turned 18, like ran away to the big city, Mexico City, to like be a journalist and be a writer.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, sort of be himself.
[SPEAKER_01]: My mom is not an artist career wise, but my mom is very creative.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like my mom loves to do things with her hands.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's very talented with like clay and with like knitting and drawing and it's like a good singer as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: So
[SPEAKER_01]: This makes sense.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're being much like plugged into what matters, which is expressing yourself authentically Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Period.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which has been so cool to see how you've embraced that because I think part of the reason so many people follow you on TikTok is because you seemingly say a lot of things off the cuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even the video is talking about how you're about to do your morning jack-off.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you say, you know, let's be spiritual, let's not rush that.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to wait till the paywall goes up to ask about loops of choice, pornographic materials of choice, but before we go paywall, let's get into your first boy boy kiss.
[SPEAKER_00]: As this is a gay ass podcast and you're living your bisexual dreams, when was the first time you were able to smooch with a guy and then even go further?
[SPEAKER_01]: First, some I kissed a guy, was my junior year of high school.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a friend of mine, it was like, he, me and this other guy were like the only three gay guys in my school.
[SPEAKER_01]: They saw me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Or at least openly gay guys, queer guys in my school, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: So you were out as a buy guy.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was out as bisexual, there was a period where
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, even though it was Austin, Texas, I was bullied a lot in high school.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: And especially by the guys and you know, it's, it's puberty's a really weird time, because you don't know who you are yet.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so you kind of just believe the things that people tell you about, yeah, you know.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so people would call me gay.
[SPEAKER_01]: People would call me, you know, a faggot essentially.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it was like, I kind of was like, okay, maybe I am.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, maybe I don't actually like women, which was crazy because I did and I knew that I did, but it's like you hear something long enough it becomes true.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: So there, I think like junior year and senior year, I was like, I don't even know what I am anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what's going on anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was like, I didn't lose my virginity till senior year of high school.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I also was like not really sure sexually where I fit in at that time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Was that with the roller or a guy?
[SPEAKER_01]: My first, like, when I lost my virginity, it was with a girl, yeah, it was with a girl, but my first sexual experience was with a guy and it was this thing that happened junior year of high school as friend of mine invited me over to his place like watch movie.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was into the impression that there was going to be other people there.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm the known to me this guy that had a crush on me for a long time and was kind of just like trying to get me alone.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, so we went over and we were watching scary movie too.
[SPEAKER_01]: I believe on the couch.
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the great.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, one of the great.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I wanted a great movie franchises and eventually he goes in.
[SPEAKER_01]: We start making out and then he like went down on me and that was my first sexual experience and also like first time kissing or doing anything with the guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: How did it feel to first kiss a guy, because a lot of us talk about the sort of electricity of it, but I'm curious for someone like you who was grappling with his identity and his expression, like, did it feel electric?
[SPEAKER_01]: In the moment it did, in the moment it felt very much like, oh my god, I can believe this is happening like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was something that had I had only fantasized about for years, and it was just not finally happening.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I remember as soon as it ended, and as soon as I loved his place, feeling the most immense guilt.
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember for like a week afterwards, I couldn't eat.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I remember, I remember not being able to sleep.
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember like being up in bed.
[SPEAKER_01]: like shaking my whole body just shaking with fear and with guilt of like what have I done?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why did I do that like so I have done that that was that was wrong?
[SPEAKER_01]: Not because of my parents or anything just because I inherently had this I guess internalized homophobia Well, you'd also been bullied and I'll call the fag and exactly given shit from your uh yeah
[SPEAKER_00]: What do people call kids you go to school with they're obviously not your colleagues You're you're you're you're fellow students.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you You're classmates are giving you shit the world is giving queer people shit So it makes sense why you're basically on the verge of a panic attack at all.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I I that's
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, you saying that, just taught me that it's probably the reason why I did not have my first boy boy kiss until I left my hometown because I think I wasn't ready for it and I think that you clearly were, but it was testing your limits and I just want to also say that you not knowing if you were gay or straight or what I think.
[SPEAKER_00]: Speak to the idea that queer people growing up are trained not to trust our guts, you know, it's like, and that's in my 30s.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been really working on hearing what my body is saying and honoring it and not doubting it in any way.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that really resonates with me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So was the was the blow Jay of the first boy boy moment fully welcomed by you or was it do you think too much too fast?
[SPEAKER_01]: have to say it was a little bit above there was a part of me that was like oh this is so great like I really want this to happen and there was another part of me that the whole time was kind of on autopilot and had the sense of like.
[SPEAKER_01]: should I be doing this right now is this right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Is this correct?
[SPEAKER_01]: I also there was a part of me that was thinking I had never thought about him that way before until that day.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I didn't have those feelings for him and he had been pining for me this entire time.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think it was it was also like he wanted it more than I did.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think there was a part of me that felt also guilty that like,
[SPEAKER_01]: I was maybe, I don't know, like maybe using him or maybe giving him the wrong impression, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's, I mean, we did actually not sort of because of what happened that day, but like a couple weeks later sort of kind of went apart and like, didn't happen.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't call it a falling out, but we kind of did.
[SPEAKER_01]: sort of stop being friends a little bit after that.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I was, he was like, this total opposite of who I was at the time.
[SPEAKER_01]: He was like, I know who I am and I don't care what anyone says about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I really admired that about him.
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, a lot of my queer, like very very openly queer friends in high school who it was like, even in that environment where there was so much bullying going on and like the staff never took it seriously ever, you know.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, there was a teacher who ran the GSA to Gaystrait Alliance Mr. Nutter, who shout out to him.
[SPEAKER_01]: He was very openly gay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Incredible name, by the way.
[SPEAKER_01]: Incredible name.
[SPEAKER_00]: It had Mr. Nutter.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mr. Nutter.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You really can't make that shut up.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, Mr. Nutter, for starting the Gaystrait Alliance, or at least leading it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I hope all of your students felt a part of your knudding, your comfort and your knudding.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, he would show up to class in like the let-o heals and like the full get up and Oh, the friend or Mr. Nutter.
[SPEAKER_01]: Mr. Nutter.
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on, Mr. Nutter.
[SPEAKER_01]: What show up to teach AP English 3 and full still in like still let-o heals and everything, you know, and text members in the state of Texas.
[SPEAKER_00]: In the state of Texas.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, bravery, Mr. Nutter.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: He had to like he had to pet
[SPEAKER_01]: But, um, I just remember feeling such admiration for this friend of mine and for people like Mr. not or another friend of mine because I, I wasn't like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't be like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I was that kid that I wore the same black hoodie and ripped jeans to school every day.
[SPEAKER_01]: No matter how hard it was outside because I was just so insecure and like wanted to hide.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I would sit in the back of the bus and like blast heavy metal in my headphones.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like not talked to anyone like that was who I was.
[SPEAKER_00]: And were you super tall were you this tall and high school did you feel like you were taking up too much space feet in one two?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I've been taller my entire life because you've been really weigh six five six five six five yeah Damn even as a baby I was like unusually long and I've always been the tallest in my class I've been six five since sophomore year of high school pretty much so I always felt this kind of bowl in a china shop.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know thing and so I think I had I just
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, this friend of mine, he was like
[SPEAKER_01]: He didn't care and he didn't give a shit and he was like, I don't care what anyone thinks and I was like, but I do though, you know, I really do.
[SPEAKER_01]: I get bullied enough as it is.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I was not ready to like, exacerbate that even more.
[SPEAKER_01]: I just wanted to get through high school.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, anyway, when you were doing ways of surviving, huh, you were just trying to get through.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it seems that, you know, you graduated.
[SPEAKER_00]: Where did you go?
[SPEAKER_00]: What was after high school for you?
[SPEAKER_01]: So after high school, I studied music, business, performance, and technology at Austin Community College for two years, which shout out to anyone.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're interested in music, like talk about a great music school that is not going to fucking rob you blind.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like incredible, I learned so much there, incredible program.
[SPEAKER_01]: But, um,
[SPEAKER_01]: I studied that for two years, pandemic happened, my fourth semester that I was there.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it was like 2020, 2019 through early 2021, I kind of just like worked two jobs, worked the Olive Garden and Outback State Council, saved a bunch of money, and then came to New York in 2021.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, so that's a brave soul going straight from a pandemic college situation, working at some of the greatest American chains and then packing your bags and going to Nueva York.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So so on this series, I think we're going to get into the horniest part of this, but it's really interesting to hear about sort of your backstory or herstery as it were.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um,
[SPEAKER_00]: Reclaiming our sexuality.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are celebrating our horny selves.
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you seem to do but does the word slut?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you identify with that word?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that you?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or is that not you?
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I've never thought about that before until now.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm inclined to say yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think my gut is telling me yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I celebrate you and your slutty gut.
[SPEAKER_00]: So since we have now the segway into sluttyness, you have so many great videos about sex hooking up.
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, one of your TikToks say that you think all straight guys should have their dick socks by a gay guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: As someone who has been with men and women in and between, would you say from personal experience that the blowjobs you receive from men are higher in quality than in women?
[SPEAKER_00]: For the rest of this interview, head to sub-stack linked in the description.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can also watch bonus episodes with Mikey Grisepha from Deathbecomesher, Isaiah Rutledge, Sunset Boulevard's Demon Moon.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have Derek Cage, Patrick, Nick, Thanos, Mark, they're all hot.
[SPEAKER_00]: The stories are amazing and you should go check it out at sub-stack.com slash at Eric Will's linked in the description.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love you, bye!