[SPEAKER_04]: As you know, I'm taking a brief height is from recording live episodes here on the pod because your girl just welcomed baby girl into the world.
[SPEAKER_04]: So this week I am sharing my second birth story.
[SPEAKER_04]: I have my favorite guy in the whole white world joining me on this episode, Miami, Miami, Miami, and as we talk about the dark side of,
[SPEAKER_04]: parenting and like how it affects your marriage.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think that people do not speak enough.
[SPEAKER_04]: At least I haven't heard anybody talking about the negative impact on your marriage that having these kids can have.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so we are keeping it real about how our amazing relationship
[SPEAKER_04]: and sharing the birth story from our second son.
[SPEAKER_04]: So let's get into it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Welcome back to another episode of the Girls.Playing Show.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's your favorite home girl core yell.
[SPEAKER_04]: Here to encourage you to stop playing with your potential and start working for what you want in life and in love.
[SPEAKER_04]: You already know that I believe you can have it all.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can make the money and you can get the honey as long as you are willing to work.
[SPEAKER_04]: But childless season two, and we are doing things differently, okay?
[SPEAKER_04]: This season is all about relationships.
[SPEAKER_04]: So instead of focusing solely on business and entrepreneurship, we are turning the tables a little bit, not just talking about business, but getting all up in your business.
[SPEAKER_04]: One of my favorite people in the world may be my favorite person in the whole entire world.
[SPEAKER_04]: My man is in the studio, y'all.
[SPEAKER_07]: He's in a drink.
[SPEAKER_07]: What's going on?
[SPEAKER_04]: So, Kendrick was highly requested, okay?
[SPEAKER_04]: He's not just here because I wanted to open up season two with him, even though it is fitting because we opened up season one with the conversations together.
[SPEAKER_04]: We did.
[SPEAKER_04]: You were my very first guest.
[SPEAKER_04]: Y'all, we went through it on season one, okay?
[SPEAKER_04]: He was not supposed to be the first guest, but some stuff happened.
[SPEAKER_04]: and he had to step up to the plate.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I had to do a little ducetase to get him for season what, I think I'm gonna have a season day.
[SPEAKER_07]: What's the season?
[SPEAKER_04]: Ducetase, season two, because y'all really requested him.
[SPEAKER_04]: I did a survey and Kendrick's name came up more than one time.
[SPEAKER_04]: I kind of feel some type of way about that, but here we are.
[SPEAKER_04]: Are you ready?
[SPEAKER_07]: I was born ready.
[SPEAKER_04]: He was born ready.
[SPEAKER_04]: All right, y'all.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I promised you all that we would open up season two, sharing our second birth story.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, you know, it took me 18 months.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was almost about to have my second child before I felt like the PTSD has subsided enough to talk about my first birth story.
[SPEAKER_04]: So if you missed it, it wasn't here on YouTube.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's only on the audio platform.
[SPEAKER_04]: Actually, I think I'm lying.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think you can find it here on YouTube.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think I went ahead and put it up.
[SPEAKER_04]: But you can find it.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's out there, OK?
[SPEAKER_04]: And it took me such a long time to share because it was traumatic, like literal trauma traumatizing for me to be able to even think about the circumstances at which I had my first son.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so because of that, I said that I would open up season two with not waiting so long, but talking about my second birth story.
[SPEAKER_04]: But before I do that,
[SPEAKER_04]: I would like to hear from you, Daddy, what was your first experience like through your eyes?
[SPEAKER_04]: So my birth story through your, your lens.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I went to first experience.
[SPEAKER_04]: What's talking about the first experience?
[SPEAKER_07]: It's high room.
[SPEAKER_07]: I wouldn't call it traumatic, but it was very, um,
[SPEAKER_07]: unsettling not being in control of situation, you know, having no control in the situation early.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I was not not going to really do for you or the baby at the time.
[SPEAKER_07]: And it didn't just be supportive.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'll say that was the biggest, you know, hurdle for, you know, how did most of me?
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not knowing what to do.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's not knowing what to do, really.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, all the classes and, you know, the courses that we took, you know, it didn't really prepare you for.
[SPEAKER_07]: Well, actually, we did, because one thing we didn't prepare for the hospital birth, so that was... That was a major thing, yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, we didn't anticipate the hospital birth, so that was never like, even... I mean, it was in the back of our heads, but it wasn't.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know, part of the plan.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, you know, I didn't get back back.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, you didn't prepare for it.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I wasn't.
[SPEAKER_07]: I definitely wasn't prepared.
[SPEAKER_04]: So for those of you who haven't watched the video, you definitely got to go watch it to hear all of it.
[SPEAKER_04]: The play by play.
[SPEAKER_04]: But we planned on having a home birth the first time.
[SPEAKER_04]: So as crazy as that sounds as crazy as the people thought that we were.
[SPEAKER_04]: We had the tub blown up, we had the string lights hanging, the affirmations up on all of the things.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, we just know we were about to have this baby at home and got had something else planned for us.
[SPEAKER_04]: So, no, we were not prepared at all to go to the hospital.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was so headstrong.
[SPEAKER_04]: with wanting things my way and wanting it to come to turn out the way that I wanted it to that I did not even prepare to go to the hospital at all.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like I was refusing to go to the hospital.
[SPEAKER_04]: I didn't have much to do.
[SPEAKER_04]: He did.
[SPEAKER_04]: He asked me several times I was going to pack one.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I felt like if I pack a bag, that's me throwing doubt into the plan.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like I'm planning for it not to work if I pack this bag.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's what I was saying to myself in my head.
[SPEAKER_04]: Until I had to rush home and pack a bag
[SPEAKER_04]: 10, 15 minutes, that was definitely.
[SPEAKER_04]: So for Kendrick, it wasn't traumatizing.
[SPEAKER_04]: He was not on that beat.
[SPEAKER_04]: But I can imagine, there were some traumatic moments.
[SPEAKER_07]: I wouldn't use the word traumatic.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_07]: Traumatic is like something that you can't get over.
[SPEAKER_07]: I feel like... I mean, I mean, it's different for you.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like you were carrying the baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was carrying the baby.
[SPEAKER_07]: It was, there were some scary moments.
[SPEAKER_04]: For sure.
[SPEAKER_04]: So the beauty of the woman who's carrying and delivering and birthing the child is that you are not directly traumatized.
[SPEAKER_04]: Now I can imagine like you sitting that helpless basically because you weren't on the bed, but you also weren't in control.
[SPEAKER_04]: There wasn't anything that you could necessarily do.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I can imagine that it was, it made you uneasy because you, you didn't know what was going on.
[SPEAKER_04]: This was both of our first experiences, both of us becoming first-time parents, both of us clueless even after the classes that we took and the things that we did do to prepare.
[SPEAKER_04]: So yeah, I can imagine that, you know, I think you said at one point, like you just want to leave with your wife and your baby, you just want to make sure you're walking out of the hospital.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, with two people.
[SPEAKER_07]: I never imagined I would have those thoughts, though, you know, I mean, like, literally that was the only thing that was important to me at that point.
[SPEAKER_07]: It was, make sure you and the baby left the hospital with me.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're all going home together.
[SPEAKER_04]: And that's what it, that's honestly what it came down to for me too, because for,
[SPEAKER_04]: I think it's like 46 hours.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was trying to push my body to do something that it just was not doing.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because I was so caught up in how this was going to happen.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was so caught up in having a vaginal birth.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was so caught up in not being a statistic, not being another woman that ends up having a C-section.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was just so dead set on not having a C-section and guess what y'all.
[SPEAKER_04]: ended up right on an operating table having a sea section, but it came down to me really doing what I feel like was like my first true act as a mother, like really putting my baby's health and well being over like my selfish wants and desires because I really just didn't want to have a sea section because I didn't want to have a sea section.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not like there was some true reason that was more important than my child's health.
[SPEAKER_04]: So when it
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, after his heart rate dropped and all of the things, it, I was really left with no choice.
[SPEAKER_04]: So we didn't end up having a C section with Cairo, which made me more relaxed.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think, do you think I was more relaxed with Kinsa?
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, somewhat.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: Not really.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think you were more, um,
[SPEAKER_07]: just not concerned with outcomes.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I just think I said I don't care several times, you know, even before I got there.
[SPEAKER_07]: What ever happens is going to happen.
[SPEAKER_04]: Whatever's going to happen, y'all going to get this baby, as long as I go home with the baby, that was my thinking from the start, versus that eventually being my thinking with Cairo.
[SPEAKER_04]: And one of the things that I've said, probably five times, any time somebody around me gets pregnant, the one piece of advice that I have is don't put pressure on yourself.
[SPEAKER_04]: Don't put pressure on yourself.
[SPEAKER_04]: Don't feel like your birth story has to turn out this one way.
[SPEAKER_04]: And if it doesn't turn out this one way, you failed.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because that's a lot of pressure.
[SPEAKER_04]: And being pregnant is the one time in your life that you don't need to be stressed out, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Stress can cause so many issues for a person is not pregnant.
[SPEAKER_04]: So imagine what you're doing to your body and potentially to your baby if you're stressed out, which I definitely feel like I was stressed in myself out trying to be such a control freak.
[SPEAKER_04]: and because it did not turn out the way that I wanted it to, when I got pregnant the second time, I was like, I really don't even care.
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, a V-back, which is a vaginal birth after a cesarean, that sounded cool, but I was okay with whatever happened.
[SPEAKER_04]: So fast forward, 22 months later, we're back at the hospital.
[SPEAKER_04]: This time I did have a backpack.
[SPEAKER_04]: I packed like a month early.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, I did good this time.
[SPEAKER_04]: I have my backpack.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're back at the hospital.
[SPEAKER_04]: pressure me into scheduling a C section because they wanted to schedule a C section at 39 weeks and I didn't let them do that.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I did still stand up for myself, which is very important being an advocate for yourself knowing what you want if you do, you know, have a have a preference being willing to speak up about that preference because although I was not set on having a vaginal delivery, at least wanted to give my body a chance.
[SPEAKER_04]: you know, to go into labor on its own.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I did not let them pressure me into scheduling that see section.
[SPEAKER_04]: Thankfully, I didn't because my body did end up going into labor naturally three days after his due date.
[SPEAKER_04]: So this is where I would like for you to pick up on the story because I think Kendrick thought I was pretty crazy.
[SPEAKER_04]: The one plan that I did have, this is what, this is the plan that I did have.
[SPEAKER_04]: If my body goes into labor, I want to labor at home.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was gonna labor at home for as long as possible.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then where was I going to have that baby?
[SPEAKER_04]: Tell the people where I wanted to have my baby.
[SPEAKER_07]: I feel like you said either in the car or in the toilet.
[SPEAKER_04]: I wanted to be sitting on the toilet, having my contractions and- What?
[SPEAKER_07]: I kind of liked to.
[SPEAKER_04]: The baby slips out.
[SPEAKER_04]: He didn't want to hear that.
[SPEAKER_04]: So then my second plan was, I'm a labor at home as long as possible.
[SPEAKER_04]: And now I'm gonna have to be on the way to the hospital.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because in a perfect world, I just shoved to the hospital with the baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: They checked the baby out.
[SPEAKER_04]: They checked me out and then they sent us home.
[SPEAKER_07]: Now imagine your husband having to drive with that going on.
[SPEAKER_07]: Does that sound perfect?
[SPEAKER_04]: We are 10 minutes away from the hospital.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm on a highway.
[SPEAKER_04]: And in my mind, yes, please, baby, come out.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think that that is like, that's an amazing accomplishment for women who are able to, that was not my story.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, that's not what happened.
[SPEAKER_04]: However, I did labor at home for quite a while.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I think I went into labor.
[SPEAKER_04]: little before like five a.m.
[SPEAKER_04]: I started having contractions a little, you know, in the middle of the night, basically.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you got up to go to work at like six o'clock.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think I told you like I'm pretty sure I'm having some contractions, but they weren't I mean, I'd never had contractions naturally.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I didn't really know what to expect.
[SPEAKER_04]: Everybody says it feels like cramps.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't have cramps, you know, I've never really had to deal with cramps.
[SPEAKER_04]: I didn't really know.
[SPEAKER_04]: what that was even gonna be like, but I knew something was weird.
[SPEAKER_04]: I honestly was feeling like, I don't know if I'm dreaming, but then when I actually woke up and I felt him again, I said, okay, and that's when I said something to you before you left.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I was updating him throughout the day.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm texting my midwife from a first pregnancy like, hey, this is what's going on, what does this mean?
[SPEAKER_04]: And so she's kind of coaching me through what I should be looking for when I should go to the hospital and so I'm updating her throughout the day.
[SPEAKER_04]: They started really coming on strong.
[SPEAKER_04]: I would say around like, no, I get in the bathtub.
[SPEAKER_04]: Kendrick thinks I'm trying to have a home birth.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like you'd try to had his baby in the bathtub.
[SPEAKER_04]: Which that would have been okay, too.
[SPEAKER_04]: I wasn't supposed to have.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was trying to start that.
[SPEAKER_07]: I just kept trying to keep my eyes on you because you was... What was I doing?
[SPEAKER_07]: First of all, you weren't talking to me.
[SPEAKER_07]: You were like in this... Zinbur.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, I guess you were in labor, yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I was like, all right, let me, let me just do what I can do.
[SPEAKER_04]: What could you do?
[SPEAKER_07]: Just check on your face.
[SPEAKER_07]: Make sure that make sure Cairo was good.
[SPEAKER_07]: Getting everything ready, you know, as far as like me packing the bag, making sure that, you know, Cairo had everything.
[SPEAKER_07]: He needed, um, who was that?
[SPEAKER_07]: Was my mom at House?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, my mom was there.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_07]: Just kind of like, uh, tying up loose ends.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because I gave him a last meal.
[SPEAKER_07]: I was really intentional about this day, I think.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think that that I think the day went well because I didn't, it's not like the movies, y'all.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not like you go into labor.
[SPEAKER_04]: Your water breaks and then you've got to rush to the hospital.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's not what happens.
[SPEAKER_04]: Actually, your water breaking is one of the last things that happened.
[SPEAKER_04]: Your water doesn't just break at the beginning.
[SPEAKER_04]: It breaks when you ready to have the baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: So throughout before the contractions really got, um,
[SPEAKER_04]: crazy and I did get into the bathtub.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was able, I braided Tyros hair like I, you know, fixing breakfast.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was really able to like spend the day with him and I did appreciate that because I was feeling some type of way that he was not going to be only child anymore.
[SPEAKER_04]: Even I didn't want him to be only child.
[SPEAKER_04]: It was still like dang.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is the last time it's just going to be you.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I did, I feel very blessed that I got to enjoy that day with him.
[SPEAKER_04]: So that was a good part and I got to eat my meal because yeah, if you go to the hospital and you're in labor, you can not eat anything You can't even drink a glass of water.
[SPEAKER_04]: So again, that was part of my reasoning for wanting to be in control as much as possible because and there's like research on this too This is not just me, but the earlier you go to the hospital the more likely they're going to have to do interventions, which is
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's put you on Potosan, let's break your water.
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, all of the medical interventions that start that can obstruct a natural delivery, which is what I wanted to say.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, which is what I wanted to say.
[SPEAKER_07]: This will happen last time.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's definitely what happened last time.
[SPEAKER_04]: Getting induced is like, that should be illegal.
[SPEAKER_04]: But you're gonna go back and listen to the first one because I don't want to get into the first story because I'll get upset, but that should be illegal.
[SPEAKER_04]: All of the interventions.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, obviously, they shouldn't all be illegal, but most of them come from the time table that the staff have you on versus like your body going through a natural process.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like your body knows, just like you got pregnant, your body knows when this pregnancy is over.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so a lot of times, these emergency c sections come from the staff wanting you to progress faster, you know, then your body is able to progress.
[SPEAKER_04]: And so they start doing all of these,
[SPEAKER_04]: artificial things and that a lot of times ends up in a emergency section.
[SPEAKER_04]: So long story short, get to the hospital around 8 o'clock.
[SPEAKER_04]: What was the drive like?
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's talk about the drive to the hospital because I pushed me like hell at all as long as I could.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, that whole night was kind of crazy.
[SPEAKER_07]: Cause I had just got off work.
[SPEAKER_07]: I was tired.
[SPEAKER_07]: You were doing your things.
[SPEAKER_07]: I didn't really know.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know, I kept checking in on you.
[SPEAKER_07]: But like you tend to not be as forthcoming or information sometimes.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm like, is this girl really trying to have a baby in this tub?
[SPEAKER_04]: Is this baby at this house?
[SPEAKER_07]: She had the music playing.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm talking about in the bathroom.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was in labor.
[SPEAKER_07]: I don't know where to hours made.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, not totally.
[SPEAKER_04]: That was all that would be really rich.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, you weren't back before playing toilet in the tub.
[SPEAKER_05]: So I lit in the tub.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I say, probably the whole time I was home.
[SPEAKER_05]: The whole day, that's what I was doing.
[SPEAKER_07]: I got home about 230.
[SPEAKER_07]: So from 230 to 730 at least, yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: Back and forth between the tub and the toilet.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he kept saying, you ready to go?
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, no, come on, hold that.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm on hold that.
[SPEAKER_07]: And the only thing that kept me from, you know, saying forgets it, because I wanted, you know, like you said, Cairo, this is his last day of being the only kid and I wanted to put him to bed and make sure he was good before I left.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, so we got to do all of it.
[SPEAKER_07]: We got to do that once he went to bed, all right, let's go.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think you might already be stuck.
[SPEAKER_04]: Listen, because by that point, yeah, she was ready to be.
[SPEAKER_04]: It was crazy because he kept checking on me like, come on, let's go, you ready?
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, no, I'm good.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then when I was ready, he didn't have his phone.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I had texted him like an hour before we actually left.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, it's time.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm ready.
[SPEAKER_04]: But he was putting the baby to sleep.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think you were feeding him.
[SPEAKER_04]: So he was not.
[SPEAKER_07]: And he was cutting up.
[SPEAKER_04]: He was not family in his sense.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because Carol knew something.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like he knows when we're leaving.
[SPEAKER_04]: Something was not new.
[SPEAKER_04]: He did.
[SPEAKER_04]: Something was up.
[SPEAKER_07]: So he went late on.
[SPEAKER_07]: Usually he goes right down.
[SPEAKER_07]: I put it in the bed, but for some reason he was just upset that he's going on.
[SPEAKER_04]: My mommy's been in a way.
[SPEAKER_04]: She's been upset.
[SPEAKER_04]: She's seen mommy.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think a couple hours was what's going on.
[SPEAKER_04]: So we get a little longer to put it in the bed.
[SPEAKER_04]: We get to the hospital by it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, the car ride.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's freaking out of the car ride.
[SPEAKER_07]: I feel like we left for about that we leave right at eight.
[SPEAKER_04]: We
[SPEAKER_04]: I think we got to the hot, we pulled up to the hospital a eight because it was only like a single.
[SPEAKER_04]: We left it like 7.47.
[SPEAKER_04]: 45 something like that.
[SPEAKER_04]: But y'all, when I'd say you that right to the hospital was so dramatic, not that was like off a TV.
[SPEAKER_04]: Did you feel like that was like out of the movies?
[SPEAKER_07]: And it was raining.
[SPEAKER_04]: It was raining like bent over in the back, sprawled across the back.
[SPEAKER_07]: All that morning, it was bad.
[SPEAKER_04]: That was bad.
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, but my head, I'm like, you been, I had this baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's nothing but God that we're literally live like 10 minutes away from the hospital because it's like one exit up.
[SPEAKER_04]: So that was, I mean, it was a bad ride because I do feel like, okay, girl, you probably waited a little too long.
[SPEAKER_04]: You pushed it.
[SPEAKER_04]: You should have left an hour a hour earlier because by the time we got to the hospital, it took an entire hour, just again.
[SPEAKER_04]: An entire hour y'all, I'm an active labor, like screaming when the contractions come.
[SPEAKER_04]: And it took an hour for them to get me checked in, do all the lab work because before they can really do anything, they gotta do lab work.
[SPEAKER_04]: They gotta see what your levels are right now, before they start any of the things that they're gonna do.
[SPEAKER_04]: By the time they could actually give me drugs, which I, they couldn't have gave me them drugs, quick enough.
[SPEAKER_04]: By the time they gave me the drugs, they had been like an hour.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was dilated, I think, six, there are seven centimeters, the first time they checked.
[SPEAKER_04]: And then the next time they were like, okay, you're ready to start pushing.
[SPEAKER_04]: Am I, is that accurate?
[SPEAKER_07]: Some like that, yeah, it was, they had been very quick because I wasn't ready, I was getting ready to go to bed.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, he was like, I'm thinking about the last time.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, you go, I mean, I'm like, she's not ready to push.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was, that's what she was.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I'm like, I remember last time, like, I would, we were there with three days, two days.
[SPEAKER_04]: We were there the whole week.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I went to like, making my cut on the couch, you know, getting all my stuff out, getting comfortable, make sure you was good.
[SPEAKER_07]: And then they come in and it's like, she's right at this baby.
[SPEAKER_07]: And it's like, you're like, oh, shit.
[UNKNOWN]: Okay, cool.
[SPEAKER_04]: So that was,
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, it was like a farming.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, it was a totally different experience.
[SPEAKER_07]: Um, like I said, the first time it was chaotic, you know, it was like unexpected.
[SPEAKER_07]: This time it was kind of like just routine checkup.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know, it was like, it was like, I would do this.
[SPEAKER_07]: Now do that next thing I know, I see the baby hand on my own.
[SPEAKER_07]: You wait a minute.
[SPEAKER_04]: So yeah, that was, that was the spoil the surprise even though
[SPEAKER_04]: Um, but I did end up having a vaginal delivery.
[SPEAKER_04]: I did that shit.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: I did that shit.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: I did that shit.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, so listen, y'all.
[SPEAKER_04]: Let me say y'all.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm looking at this camera.
[SPEAKER_04]: So you both talk it right to you.
[SPEAKER_04]: The people been lying.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm going to tell y'all a truth, okay, because coming from having a C section, which everybody says is the worst thing ever that could ever happen to you.
[SPEAKER_04]: The recovery is going to be so bad.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're going to have this terrible scar.
[SPEAKER_04]: You ain't going to be able to do nothing.
[SPEAKER_04]: All of the things that the people tell you, okay, coming from having that experience.
[SPEAKER_04]: And even though leading up to the C-section, it was awful horrendous traumatizing.
[SPEAKER_04]: After I had the baby, you know, the C-section was the least of my problems.
[SPEAKER_04]: That, I don't think I had a terrible recovery.
[SPEAKER_04]: So that was my personal experience with the C-section.
[SPEAKER_04]: Everybody says, with the vaginal delivery, the recovery's gonna be so much quicker, you gonna be up and moving it back and doing all the things.
[SPEAKER_04]: Baby, when I'd say you, I was broken.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was broken after having that baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: chopped and screwed.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, it was bad to me.
[SPEAKER_04]: It was nothing like I feel like the people tried to convince me.
[SPEAKER_04]: Even the nurses like, oh yeah, you're gonna be up and no, you know, like you're just gonna be, I think my recovery was way worse.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think that.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, I can't really gauge it because I'm.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can't gauge it because you're on the outside.
[SPEAKER_07]: I look at the end.
[SPEAKER_04]: I would say what looked like it was worse.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because you saw them shot my thumbnail over there.
[SPEAKER_04]: You saw me push that baby out.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, it's a section seemed worse to me just because you weren't related to move around for a few days.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like when we got home, he was in the beginning.
[SPEAKER_06]: Maybe I blocked that.
[SPEAKER_06]: I don't think you, I think you blocked that out.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think you blocked a lot of it.
[SPEAKER_07]: And maybe you were just doing stuff on your own if you shouldn't have been doing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Probably.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I feel like that first couple days, you were kind of like,
[SPEAKER_07]: in the bed, couldn't get up.
[SPEAKER_02]: So what about this time?
[SPEAKER_07]: Can't sit up.
[SPEAKER_07]: I hate to help you.
[SPEAKER_02]: What about this time?
[SPEAKER_07]: Like, get up to go to the bathroom.
[SPEAKER_02]: What about this time?
[SPEAKER_07]: This time, I feel like you.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm as far as you've been able to move around.
[SPEAKER_07]: What you felt and, you know, with your body dead, I don't really know.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I'm just saying, from outside looking in, you were moving little next day, you know, walking around.
[SPEAKER_04]: When I tell you I feel like I was moving like a little old aunt lady, I have never experienced
[SPEAKER_04]: understand the second time this this this vaginal birth I feel like y'all are liars ladies y'all have been lying and I am here to set the record straight that everybody's experience is different that that's what I have to say everybody's experience is different do not believe that if you have a vaginal birth you're just gonna be skipping and running and jumping the next day and don't believe that if you have a c-section you're gonna be like embed for a month I think that your body is gonna do what it does the best that it can do but everybody is different just like
[SPEAKER_04]: and every pregnancy is different.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I think they're liars and I think I got like one more pregnancy.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, Kendrick what you say?
[SPEAKER_07]: I hope it was just one.
[SPEAKER_04]: So man, I don't know, y'all.
[SPEAKER_07]: So man.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think I got one more pregnancy, two more babies.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'll just put it out there in the universe.
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's touch an agree.
[SPEAKER_04]: He do not want to touch an agree, y'all.
[SPEAKER_04]: But if I could just have, I'm going to say it on record.
[SPEAKER_04]: No, I'm going to say it on record.
[SPEAKER_04]: He don't want me to say it because I'm going to speak to you.
[SPEAKER_07]: Because everybody, if she said, it happens.
[SPEAKER_07]: If he had his good, I bet.
[SPEAKER_04]: What a good, I bet.
[SPEAKER_04]: So this is good.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I would love to get two for one.
[SPEAKER_04]: Two, one, two for one, have some identical twin girls.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's pretty much like the me.
[SPEAKER_04]: Identical twin girls.
[SPEAKER_04]: But my point is, next pregnancy,
[SPEAKER_04]: What would I do?
[SPEAKER_04]: I've had C section.
[SPEAKER_04]: I've had the vaginal birth.
[SPEAKER_04]: What will I do for pregnancy number three?
[SPEAKER_04]: What what will I do?
[SPEAKER_07]: What will you choose?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, what will I choose?
[SPEAKER_04]: What will be my birth plan?
[SPEAKER_07]: Oh, I don't think if you had the choice, I think you would.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think having done a vaginal birth, as bad as it was to you.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think you did the game.
[SPEAKER_04]: You was quotes, like it's really bad.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm not saying it wasn't bad.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm just saying like, you made it seem like it was so much worse than the first time.
[SPEAKER_04]: I feel like it was so much worse.
[SPEAKER_07]: So much worse.
[SPEAKER_04]: So much worse.
[SPEAKER_07]: Y'all, I had that, I think it was, I think it was, I think it was what happened.
[SPEAKER_04]: Was she not stitching me up?
[SPEAKER_04]: She was sticking up with that.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like as long as I was pushing, she stitched me up for just as long.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yes, she was working on you.
[SPEAKER_04]: That was awful.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, it was so bad.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, it was bad.
[SPEAKER_04]: So, needless to say, next time around.
[SPEAKER_07]: But knowing you, though, I just know you, you're very strong will.
[SPEAKER_05]: That didn't work out for me.
[SPEAKER_07]: It didn't work out the second time because you could have been easily said, no, forget this.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm having a C section and for a while, I thought you was going to do that.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, I supported you either way, but I'm glad you, you held out, you held out, you held out.
[SPEAKER_07]: But for you and my baby sake, I thought they had something that you really wanted.
[SPEAKER_04]: I wanted to acknowledge that.
[SPEAKER_04]: I felt robbed at the first time for sure.
[SPEAKER_07]: But now that you've experienced, I think you're kind of like, alright, whatever.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I do feel like if you could do it again, you would still do a vaginal birth.
[SPEAKER_04]: You feel that way?
[SPEAKER_04]: That's so nice of you.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's nice of him.
[SPEAKER_04]: But they could take this.
[SPEAKER_04]: What time should I show up there at the hospital?
[SPEAKER_04]: What date?
[SPEAKER_04]: Let me put it on my calendar.
[SPEAKER_04]: Are you putting that out there, huh?
[SPEAKER_04]: That must have been no.
[SPEAKER_07]: But you're saying you're going to schedule.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm saying.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's what we're doing.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm saying I'm not judging myself for whatever I choose.
[SPEAKER_07]: Not saying what would you want?
[SPEAKER_04]: Proving to myself that I can push a baby out.
[SPEAKER_04]: That she was.
[SPEAKER_04]: When they say birth is the closest thing to death, that was literally like, I had to die so my baby could come to life.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I do feel like they're my dear dad.
[SPEAKER_04]: I do feel like that because I really did that.
[SPEAKER_04]: I did that.
[SPEAKER_04]: But I ain't got to do it again.
[SPEAKER_04]: I gotta do it again.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm proving it to myself.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's part of it.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think that's part of it.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'll say nothing to get canceled on here.
[SPEAKER_04]: Because this is a very sensitive topic.
[SPEAKER_04]: So we're not trying it is.
[SPEAKER_07]: Don't try to do mine.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, be mine.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't think it's going to be bad.
[SPEAKER_07]: Time before you.
[SPEAKER_04]: They do.
[SPEAKER_04]: But this is the thing, I didn't learn this until my first pregnancy.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I am so against the mindset that if you are speaking positively about one thing, that means that you're bashing something else.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't get that.
[SPEAKER_04]: I feel like people are just way too sensitive.
[SPEAKER_04]: The internet has just like y'all won't participate in the process for everything.
[SPEAKER_04]: If you're a loser, you lost.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's just what it is.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't subscribe to, uh, I can't say that I like.
[SPEAKER_04]: you know alcoholic water because that means that you trash if you drink dissonny that's weird that's weird I'm not talking bad about you the internet is weird so he's trying to stay off he does he does and he was about to use about to get us canceled I'm glad I didn't look at that but what a place for somebody that is truthful you know me I can't put I can't pretend I can't be fake phony so when you say you have your
[SPEAKER_04]: even most of the time it's not a choice right most of the time you are doing what is recommended to you based on the health of your child.
[SPEAKER_04]: There is no right or wrong answer no right or wrong way to do it and like I said everybody's body is different.
[SPEAKER_04]: Um, so shout out to you if you have a freaking baby, okay?
[SPEAKER_07]: If you have we did both, so I mean, I'm not Yeah, we're not knocking either.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm gonna not eat the one you know, long your baby comes here She's truly a miracle to have a lot in the hospital.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, I was gonna say as long as your mom the mother is alive the baby is alive and healthy Nothing else.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'll let other stuff don't matter because like I had to like really like had those thoughts like
[SPEAKER_04]: What were your thoughts?
[SPEAKER_04]: Were you thinking the first time?
[SPEAKER_04]: So there's a quote or a tweet or a meme or something on Instagram where a girl says, if it ever comes down to me or this baby, like you got to decide, Daddy.
[SPEAKER_07]: What do you mean?
[SPEAKER_04]: Life or death, you got to save one.
[SPEAKER_04]: Did you have that thought?
[SPEAKER_07]: I didn't have that thought, but I did have that thought.
[SPEAKER_07]: I want to say I had the thought of saving one.
[SPEAKER_07]: I had the thought of not losing either one.
[SPEAKER_05]: So can I?
[SPEAKER_07]: So not like, oh, if I got a pick.
[SPEAKER_05]: Can you answer that question?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm not choosing, but I did have a thought of like, dang, like, this is real.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like, because what happened is heart rate dropped.
[SPEAKER_06]: Heart rate dropped.
[SPEAKER_07]: They're right at the rest of the year.
[SPEAKER_07]: And they flipped you over.
[SPEAKER_07]: And they weren't pushing.
[SPEAKER_07]: They weren't really talking.
[SPEAKER_07]: This is doing COVID.
[SPEAKER_07]: So like, everybody was like, extra.
[SPEAKER_07]: Something that really added to the experience.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like, one of the nurses came in, you know, she wasn't really talking.
[SPEAKER_07]: And I'm like, hey, what's going on?
[SPEAKER_07]: Like, is the baby okay?
[SPEAKER_07]: And she's like, no.
[SPEAKER_07]: And that was it.
[SPEAKER_07]: The next thing I hear her ask is, is she vaccinated?
[SPEAKER_07]: And I almost lost it.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm just like, of all the things.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's what you worried about.
[SPEAKER_07]: Is she vaccinated?
[SPEAKER_04]: But they were worried about nothing.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, my baby is literally alive of my child.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know, his life is staying the one right now.
[SPEAKER_04]: Emma, what have they been concerned about?
[SPEAKER_07]: But they were concerned about you being vaccinated.
[SPEAKER_04]: So do you not want to answer the question you seem to be?
[SPEAKER_07]: What was the question?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm sorry.
[SPEAKER_04]: Would you have been able to make that choice?
[SPEAKER_04]: Or what would your choice have been?
[SPEAKER_07]: I would have been able to make that choice.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like the burning building question.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like who do you say?
[SPEAKER_07]: And I don't like answering questions like that, honestly.
[SPEAKER_07]: I feel like I'm... It's an all-manor somewhere.
[SPEAKER_07]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_07]: Of course you know what?
[SPEAKER_07]: What happened?
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, what, what are most hospitals?
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, I'm not most, but what do the hospitals do?
[SPEAKER_07]: What are the doctors do?
[SPEAKER_03]: It saved the mother.
[SPEAKER_07]: It saved the mother.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, that's just what it is.
[SPEAKER_03]: That is.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, it's a tough decision, but in reality, I had no kind.
[SPEAKER_07]: I don't even want to say it.
[SPEAKER_07]: I don't like talking.
[SPEAKER_07]: Don't say it.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm just saying, I had never met my son yet.
[SPEAKER_07]: I don't even know what to do with it.
[SPEAKER_07]: But now, I have to think twice like, hey, I don't know what to say.
[SPEAKER_07]: But no, it would have been a no-brainer.
[SPEAKER_04]: No-brainer, really?
[SPEAKER_04]: I feel like that would be, not that it would.
[SPEAKER_07]: In that situation, we're talking about files and make, but now they said, hey, we can save your wife, but she might be brain dead.
[SPEAKER_06]: You know what I'm saying, and what the baby's gonna be fine, I want the fine baby.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know, I'm not saying I would choose that, but that would be a harder decision.
[SPEAKER_07]: Otherwise it's like, save my wife, you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm not even thinking about, don't save the baby, you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm thinking, save my wife, but having been in the room and experience that is a tricky, it's an unsettling feeling.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I don't know why they've asked me to say, I never want to have to make another decision that again, I feel like these conversations are so important because I learn so much when I got pregnant.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's too late.
[SPEAKER_04]: There's no turning back.
[SPEAKER_04]: Maybe I got to come out like it is what it is.
[SPEAKER_04]: But another very tough conversation that we had to have with both pregnancies, but we really only had it with the first.
[SPEAKER_04]: There comes a point in the pregnancy when they do genetic testing.
[SPEAKER_04]: And some of the things that they test for if those tests come back positive for those traits or whatever,
[SPEAKER_04]: some of the things that could come up are considered to be incompatible with life, meaning basically if your baby has one of these traits, it's like a 2% chance that the baby's gonna survive.
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, it's like very slim chances that the baby will survive.
[SPEAKER_04]: And if the baby does, make it to delivery, the chances of them surviving pass like a month are very slim.
[SPEAKER_04]: So we had to have a conversation, I think when we were,
[SPEAKER_04]: done the testing, but we hadn't got the results yet.
[SPEAKER_04]: And we literally set that dinner.
[SPEAKER_04]: I remember and I was telling you, you know, like if this test comes back positive for this, it basically means the baby won't survive.
[SPEAKER_04]: What would you want to do if the test came back positive?
[SPEAKER_04]: And this was a disagreement that we had because I said,
[SPEAKER_00]: Step into a world where the spirit of the Big EZ meets the excitement of Las Vegas, as Caesar's New Orleans unveils its $435 million transformation.
[SPEAKER_00]: Embark on a culinary journey with chefs Nobu and Emeralagasi, take in the thrills of the New Casino and experience the Pinnacle of Luxury.
[SPEAKER_00]: In one of the 340 new rooms and suites, Caesar's New Orleans, where revelry meets royalty.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now open.
[SPEAKER_00]: Visit Caesars.com for more details.
[SPEAKER_00]: Most be 21-year-old or a gamble, no-win to stop before you start.
[SPEAKER_00]: Gambling problem call 1-800-Gampler.
[SPEAKER_01]: There was a time unlike any other.
[SPEAKER_01]: When every moment was a memory in the making,
[SPEAKER_01]: There was a time when we laughed like children on Christmas Eve, humming with anticipation and dreaming of tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_01]: When we paused to appreciate every story and every branch of time, it was a wondrous time.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was Christmas.
[SPEAKER_01]: This Christmas had built more.
[SPEAKER_01]: Enjoy special savings when you plan your visitor overnight stay today.
[SPEAKER_04]: piece out, little fetus.
[SPEAKER_04]: I cannot sign up for I'm not going to get canceled for this.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is real.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is this is a real thought and a real conversation because what comes to mind.
[SPEAKER_07]: There was um down syndrome.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's something I remember.
[SPEAKER_04]: So during this test, they test for down syndrome and then there's like two other things that they test for.
[SPEAKER_04]: Those other two things are like incompatible about down syndrome obviously.
[SPEAKER_04]: the child can survive and thrive and live a full life and all of the things.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I think that's what I was thinking about when you asked the question.
[SPEAKER_04]: So Kendrick said, he was like, absolutely not, we never terminate our child, like we would just deal with whatever came.
[SPEAKER_04]: I was like, absolutely not because in my mind, that seemed more traumatic to like give birth to a baby and then lose the baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: It seems much more traumatic than to not give birth to the baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: That was my reasoning.
[SPEAKER_04]: So if the test would have came back back, you know, because nothing is 100% so they could say he has down syndrome and then he comes out and doesn't have it.
[SPEAKER_04]: So what were you thinking when I posed that question?
[SPEAKER_07]: Um, as far as what, as far as what I want, what I would do?
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, what would you have done?
[SPEAKER_04]: If the test came back, okay, yes, there's a 7% change.
[SPEAKER_07]: I already told you what I would do.
[SPEAKER_04]: What would you do?
[SPEAKER_04]: Tell the people?
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, I wouldn't, I don't believe in.
[SPEAKER_07]: I don't believe in abortion, and I stand on that.
[SPEAKER_04]: You started to not say that, and then you said, Epic, I must say it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_07]: So, in a marriage, especially, you know what I'm saying?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm saying it, no, I'm saying it, no, I'm saying it, no.
[SPEAKER_07]: In a marriage, a less, I mean.
[SPEAKER_07]: But is that a less, there was a chance of you not surviving?
[SPEAKER_07]: Well, otherwise, I mean, I feel like that's what God had in store.
[SPEAKER_07]: So,
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm going to roll with the punches.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, I'm going to figure it out.
[SPEAKER_07]: We're going to figure it out.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I will invoke, because I mean, I know I work in a medical field, so I know how often doctors are wrong.
[SPEAKER_03]: That's the fact.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I don't trust me personally.
[SPEAKER_07]: I don't trust anything a doctor tells me when it comes to life and death.
[SPEAKER_04]: So he's going to take your chances and go and take my chances.
[SPEAKER_04]: Go with that on the small rubber rock.
[SPEAKER_07]: Got it.
[SPEAKER_04]: OK.
[SPEAKER_04]: Well, prayerfully, you know, that's a miracle.
[SPEAKER_04]: Another tough decision that you're never prepared for.
[SPEAKER_07]: That is a tough decision.
[SPEAKER_07]: I respect anybody's opinion, decision to do what's best for them because best for you and your family, but think about what you're signing up for.
[SPEAKER_04]: I know we're saying down syndrome, but there's a whole spectrum of things that it could be.
[SPEAKER_04]: So down syndrome is just what I, you know, one that I remember and I have personally seen people with down syndrome that live full lives.
[SPEAKER_04]: a long time and all that, but what I'm thinking about selfishly, I will admit, but what does your life look like?
[SPEAKER_04]: If you end up having a special needs child, that does have such great need that they literally need to be cared for for the rest of their lives.
[SPEAKER_04]: Selfishly, I can admit that was my thought.
[SPEAKER_07]: Which I can understand, because we both know people with special needs, children and how hard it is.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's one of them.
[SPEAKER_07]: I guess it's a real thing that people don't really think about, especially when we talk about the whole abortion thing, like, it's hard.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's hard when they ain't special needs.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, yeah, it's going to say so hard.
[SPEAKER_07]: Period.
[SPEAKER_04]: Period.
[SPEAKER_04]: Speaking of special needs, I have some special needs after I had Rowe.
[SPEAKER_04]: I definitely, and I talked about this when I shared my other birth story, I do not
[SPEAKER_04]: I won't say that I had postpartum depression, I will not say that.
[SPEAKER_04]: But what I will say is I definitely had an identity crisis.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think I for sure struggled with my old life being dead.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, my whole entire first pregnancy, and I did this a little bit with the second pregnancy to, I guess, it's just kind of natural.
[SPEAKER_04]: I felt like I just got to make it to the finish line and the finish line was delivering the baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: Not realized and the finish line was really the starting point.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, it's really starts once the baby is here.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not finishing this.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I thought that once I have the baby, I just go back to being my old self, what a baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: That old self was no more.
[SPEAKER_04]: She does not exist.
[SPEAKER_04]: RIP to my old life.
[SPEAKER_04]: And I cried like every day.
[SPEAKER_07]: Really?
[SPEAKER_04]: And I don't think you do that.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_04]: I tried very hard because you were there.
[SPEAKER_04]: My mom was there.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not even trying to play tough.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't think it's necessary playing tough.
[SPEAKER_04]: Don't want to, like, what made that this plant tough?
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_04]: I didn't want to have a, I'm not comfortable having a breakdown for no reason and if it's not no reason, you just had a baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but it's not like something is something like a pinpoint is wrong that's making me cry.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's just like, my emotions are all over the place.
[SPEAKER_04]: My hormones are outrageous.
[SPEAKER_04]: I have this little baby human that needs me.
[SPEAKER_04]: But I want to, like, go to the store.
[SPEAKER_04]: Or I want to,
[SPEAKER_04]: go do anything like the being able to make decisions for yourself and not like you cannot do what you want to do.
[SPEAKER_04]: I think for a woman, especially, it's a little bit harder because for a man, at least gets to go to work.
[SPEAKER_04]: You at least get to lead a house.
[SPEAKER_04]: Even if it's going to work, you get to see other adults, you get to have conversations, you get to go to go on your lunch break.
[SPEAKER_07]: I have some sort of a normal one.
[SPEAKER_04]: I have some silence, some peace.
[SPEAKER_04]: And women don't get that most of the time.
[SPEAKER_04]: Did you see me struggling though, is, is what I wanted to do?
[SPEAKER_07]: Um, I wouldn't say I saw you struggling, um, but I did feel that you were stressed.
[SPEAKER_07]: I could feel the difference in house.
[SPEAKER_07]: I wouldn't say I knew you were breaking down in the closet crying every day late.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, that was, I mean, I wasn't thinking like that, but I did see, and I went through it myself.
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, crying in closet?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm trying in the closet.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm just saying like, it was a stressful time.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, now it was a stressful time.
[SPEAKER_02]: What did you got through?
[SPEAKER_07]: I think I went through someone that also.
[SPEAKER_07]: So like, I had the freedom of leaving and going to work, but,
[SPEAKER_07]: say I wanted to go watch a game, you know, I kind of felt guilty for even wanting to do that.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know, there's like, I dare you, I dare you go to work all day, come home and leave me and, you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_07]: So I understand, I understand what you went through.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, I didn't go through it, of course.
[SPEAKER_07]: I didn't go through the same thing, but I experienced a little bit of loss of morning of my old life.
[SPEAKER_07]: Well, one is like, we can kind of, we can figure something out.
[SPEAKER_07]: Somebody take it.
[SPEAKER_07]: Your mom and here, my mom.
[SPEAKER_07]: Somebody take it, you just caught a child.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_07]: Somebody get it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Two, what was the big, what was it?
[SPEAKER_04]: But two challenge, two is that like, I'm going to speak for myself.
[SPEAKER_04]: But I think you feel the same way.
[SPEAKER_04]: It just really is my best friend.
[SPEAKER_04]: So when I think of something that I want to do, I want to do it with him.
[SPEAKER_04]: So it's not like, I'm going to just lead a baby to home with him and go live my best life.
[SPEAKER_04]: My best life is like hanging out with you.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I want us to go together.
[SPEAKER_07]: So that's, I think that's what it was for me.
[SPEAKER_07]: So like not having.
[SPEAKER_05]: You said you want to go watch the game.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm just saying, but you would have went with me to watch the game, right?
[SPEAKER_07]: You'd have been my role dog.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, what do I do?
[SPEAKER_07]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_07]: So that's what I'm saying.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like having that freedom of life.
[SPEAKER_07]: We about to go do this, go put your clothes on.
[SPEAKER_04]: You know what I'm saying?
[SPEAKER_04]: We got it.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, we got it there.
[SPEAKER_04]: We need to have a time.
[SPEAKER_07]: But I think the fact that we had a time is so long.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it was hard to let it go.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, it was that life died, literally.
[SPEAKER_04]: It did.
[SPEAKER_04]: But I'd say died together, at least.
[SPEAKER_07]: But like you said, we got any and not the worst, too, though.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, roll up.
[SPEAKER_04]: He's gonna be tried.
[SPEAKER_07]: Carol got some stand.
[SPEAKER_04]: What put it in?
[SPEAKER_04]: What put it out?
[SPEAKER_07]: He tried to have been on.
[SPEAKER_04]: He didn't know.
[SPEAKER_04]: We got a baby.
[SPEAKER_04]: Let me say, we got a bad him.
[SPEAKER_04]: A whole full price.
[SPEAKER_04]: Full price.
[SPEAKER_04]: Seat now.
[SPEAKER_04]: So he ain't going nowhere.
[SPEAKER_04]: Ain't going nowhere.
[SPEAKER_04]: No.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, take him somewhere.
[SPEAKER_04]: Orlando, 50 minute flight.
[SPEAKER_04]: That's the limit.
[SPEAKER_04]: Last thing that I want to talk about because I don't think.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't think anybody could be prepared for this.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like parenthood.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can't actually be prepared.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can take out of classes.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can get all the advice.
[SPEAKER_04]: You can do whatever you think is going to help you, but it might help a little bit, but it probably ain't going to do much.
[SPEAKER_04]: But one of the things that I think is not enough of a conversation that we got to start talking about is the impact having children has on your marriage.
[SPEAKER_04]: The impact of becoming a parent
[SPEAKER_04]: Because I said this, I said to somebody, I said to anybody who would listen, I have like a better husband than I could have prayed for it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like you are it.
[SPEAKER_07]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_04]: You're welcome.
[SPEAKER_07]: You're it too.
[SPEAKER_04]: You are it, right?
[SPEAKER_04]: Even with you being it.
[SPEAKER_04]: was still tough.
[SPEAKER_04]: It was still and it's not even like it was something that you could have done better or it's just like these are the circumstances.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is this is what you got.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is what you got to work with.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I cannot imagine first of all I can't imagine being a single mother because baby y'all are superheroes being a teen mother.
[SPEAKER_04]: How to hell are you doing it?
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know because I'm old as hell prepared as I could have ever been and I'm still figuring it out every single day.
[SPEAKER_04]: So doing it with the
[SPEAKER_04]: I am blessed.
[SPEAKER_04]: But the effect that it has had on our partnership, I don't think people talking about it.
[SPEAKER_04]: How do you think becoming parents changed our relationship, our friendship?
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, what you think?
[SPEAKER_05]: You can be honest.
[SPEAKER_07]: I think we had to reset, but it's like, everything is new.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like we started over, so like, the Friday nights we used to have the weekend, all of that is different now.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, like, it's like night and day.
[SPEAKER_07]: Like even me just getting out of work and going home is like,
[SPEAKER_05]: You don't want to come home.
[SPEAKER_05]: He said, hey, cut, what'd you be doing?
[SPEAKER_05]: You be sitting in the car side?
[SPEAKER_07]: I love coming home, man.
[SPEAKER_07]: And then like seeing my babies, when I get to the house.
[SPEAKER_07]: So, no, just having that free time really, you know how I am, I like to get home and decompress, have a few minutes to myself, that's not what you were saying in the bathroom.
[SPEAKER_04]: That was on a figure job, so I know when y'all be getting that time to yourself.
[SPEAKER_04]: Y'all be in that bathroom for hours.
[SPEAKER_04]: What are you doing?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'd be in there for one minute, and she'd be knocking.
[SPEAKER_04]: As soon as I heard that ball, I heard him videos.
[SPEAKER_04]: I know you and that plan are working.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, and around.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm like, I'm really using the bathroom.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm just a multi-tasker.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm just having a good time.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm not having a good time.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm entertaining myself while I do what I got to do.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's a man's photo.
[SPEAKER_03]: It's something I'll have to do.
[SPEAKER_07]: This is the name of the new, uh, we'll say I'm back in the day that the magazines, the newspapers next time.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, that's it.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's the magazine.
[SPEAKER_07]: So it's like, at one time, I can get not to scroll freely and not have to worry about something to do at work.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm doing something.
[SPEAKER_04]: You know what's going on when I'm not doing something.
[SPEAKER_04]: I got a baby strap to my chest or sit at the door or he's sitting at the door or Cairo saying, Mommy, Patti, that's what's happening.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not the same though.
[SPEAKER_04]: This is one of the hardest things.
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's say that's another thing.
[SPEAKER_07]: They've got to stop the whole thing.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not the same.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's different because I got to get up at five in the morning and go to work.
[SPEAKER_07]: Not saying that you're sleeping any better, but you want to see us have an argument on this episode.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's different when you've got it.
[SPEAKER_04]: What'd I be doing at the house?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm not saying you don't do anything about this room.
[SPEAKER_07]: You have to get up, get ready for the day.
[SPEAKER_07]: Go and do what's on somebody else's agenda.
[SPEAKER_07]: You know what I'm saying?
[SPEAKER_07]: Not saying I would rather be home, take care of babies, but... Hey, I'll know you wouldn't.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's different.
[SPEAKER_07]: Let's end on this.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, let's end with this.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm gonna say that though.
[SPEAKER_04]: I didn't go out of town.
[SPEAKER_04]: I went to Target.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, the first is you go.
[SPEAKER_04]: Then it's a way.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to tell you I have been gone for like 30 minutes.
[SPEAKER_04]: And he come calling me, talking about you having fun.
[SPEAKER_04]: I like, bro, I've been gone 30 minutes.
[SPEAKER_04]: Like, these men could not last.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, if you could last, this is just today.
[SPEAKER_07]: I can last now, don't get it.
[SPEAKER_05]: Are you scared to stay home with your kids?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm definitely not scared to stay home, though.
[SPEAKER_05]: I want to stay home.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, I stay home now.
[SPEAKER_07]: So you do, but it's not like, I'm not like active.
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active, I'm not active,
[SPEAKER_04]: He's a very active parent.
[SPEAKER_07]: God is in a different way.
[SPEAKER_07]: He's very, we got a very busy life outside of my kids between me working, the businesses, the podcasts, everything we got going on.
[SPEAKER_07]: So doing all of that, and then being a full-time parent, plus the extracurricular, you know, like I've been trying to work out for the last three months, I even the gym yet.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's the time in there, the energy not there, you know?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm working on it.
[SPEAKER_07]: So I would say, you know, I'm definitely not afraid to be alone with them.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, I do it.
[SPEAKER_07]: I want to be there all day.
[SPEAKER_04]: What's your max?
[SPEAKER_04]: What's your max, daddy time?
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm not going to say it because you're going to be 30 minutes.
[SPEAKER_07]: Two hours.
[SPEAKER_07]: I can do two hours.
[SPEAKER_04]: We both of them.
[SPEAKER_07]: We both of them.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, honestly, it's not that I don't.
[SPEAKER_07]: I can't be with them is that I can't do anything else.
[SPEAKER_07]: That's really the biggest thing.
[SPEAKER_07]: It's like I'm strapped.
[SPEAKER_07]: I mean, I can't even send a text message most of the time.
[SPEAKER_07]: So like, if you have a text message, if you text me, a call me, and I ain't been responding, just know why.
[SPEAKER_04]: It's way so big.
[SPEAKER_07]: A sign probably got my phone.
[SPEAKER_04]: You said one to two was harder than zero to one.
[SPEAKER_04]: You think having to kids, it's harder than going from time to time.
[SPEAKER_04]: Just so one.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, definitely.
[SPEAKER_07]: It was like, once you get that one good, you get it.
[SPEAKER_07]: We get road asleep.
[SPEAKER_07]: So is that the night is ours now you can't sleep at the moment.
[SPEAKER_07]: He up all night.
[SPEAKER_07]: I get him to sleep.
[SPEAKER_07]: Rogue it up at six in the morning.
[SPEAKER_07]: Last night he got up at two a.m.
[SPEAKER_04]: He wanted to have a slumber party with you.
[SPEAKER_07]: He slumbered all right.
[SPEAKER_07]: He party.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, we're going through guys.
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know if you can tell how sleepy we do.
[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I think he's going very well, man.
[SPEAKER_04]: So I rose definitely going through that's a whole
[SPEAKER_04]: That's what this episode is going to be called.
[SPEAKER_04]: How we just try it.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're just trying it.
[SPEAKER_07]: I'm going to say, we learned that as Mary is OK.
[SPEAKER_04]: Anybody got parents and classes out there send them my way.
[SPEAKER_04]: OK, because we don't know at all.
[SPEAKER_04]: We're trying to figure it out.
[SPEAKER_04]: We actually don't know shit over trying to figure it out.
[SPEAKER_04]: We don't we don't know we are just hanging on We're waking up like dang.
[SPEAKER_07]: I got to do this again.
[SPEAKER_04]: They're still here.
[SPEAKER_04]: They are still here.
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah But yeah, we got Patreon now guys.
[SPEAKER_04]: So head on over to Patreon I'm gonna get Kendrick to do like some pillow talk conversations.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, it's gonna get real spicy He don't know about it.
[SPEAKER_04]: You gonna be there?
[SPEAKER_07]: You gonna be there's a question because Pillotalk in nature
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm gonna do it for the Patreon.
[SPEAKER_04]: We don't fill it up for the Patreon.
[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, so hang on over.
[SPEAKER_04]: You see, she's trying to throw stuff for us now.
[SPEAKER_04]: We'll talk about it later.
[SPEAKER_04]: Get details at the time because he likes to get all the details.
[SPEAKER_07]: She just, she'll come home in the marble.
[SPEAKER_07]: Yeah, so you ready?
[SPEAKER_04]: Spill it up time.