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Published in the space between, chapbook (Finishing Line Press 2008)
some days I think I am crazy by Aimee Suzara
the way the bitter tasted back of mouth they said was psychosomatic after I lived with the families sick from drinking breathing washing toxic the US military dumped and left the way I was insatiably thirsty after seeing my uncle downing full pitchers of water TB yet undiagnosed and felt pain in my lower abdomen after learning about women’s miscarriages and their children’s malfunctioning hearts and stomachs
the way I sat at Dolores’ bed when she was bleeding under the armpit the cancer ate away there the next week spoke with Evelina when she was alive but half dead her limbs bound with bandages and the next week in the casket unbound and free the way I cried because little Crizel was dying every day her blood going bad despite her smile being not cliché but like a yellow crayola sun smudged outward yes and others would have said the same
the way the water well shimmered like oil gracing a bird’s sleeked back the way everything that feels good is bad for everyone else and how america says land of the free but freedom means everything I take in is tainted and dolores evelina joseph and lina and crizel all you wanted was to stop bruising and a new dress and to grow up and grow up and grow up and be a doctor to make people heal and to live
maybe I am crazy but I will always catch a piece of you when we grace hands maybe we should not be allowed to care about the things that are not inside of us and maybe there are things we should never see because they will never leave us alone and maybe I am crazy because it runs in my bloodline but I think there is nothing wrong with bloodlines being followed and drawn and drawing and following our bloodlines and so maybe they are crazy for calling me crazy I think we should really think about this and I mean really think about this don’t you?