Sue Bin Lee

Triforce Hero

 

You’re a cocky li’l twerp—a green-donned elf—a blond-haired swordsman—an ocean-eyed musician.

You might be the perfect jack-of-all-trades—the fastest blade—the strongest shield—the truest arrows—the boomiest bombs—the swiftest boomerang—the trickiest grappling hook—the prettiest songs.

But you’re a silent lead—a quiet follower—a mild warrior.

All your power at the fingertips(your whole arsenal of heroics condensed to four arrows, four faces, four shoulders, two sticks), and you still can’t save the world without three slices of gold.

You bottle faeries. You buy from shady characters. You smack bleary-eyed chickens and they run you over in a stampede of Flappy Bird wings and downy feathers.

You always run away from home. You always steal from dungeons and temples. You always turn the badass girl into a sappy princess. You always achieve great feats and then you ultimately fail.

And then you whip out the power of some goddesses three.

And then you win.

I’m pissed.