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Chapter 3
My head still ached and I hadn't eaten anything since the salty bacon at the diner.
"Can we go to the corner store so I can get some aspirin?" I asked, although I hadn’t meant to convey that I needed her permission.
"Ooh, you need aspirin, Anna? Does your head hurt?"
"Yeah.”
"Ooh, no!" Katrina balked. "Why don't you take off your glasses?"
"That's not why my head hurts."
We finished walking down the manicured row of peonies. "Did you know that peonies symbolize fertility in Asia?" Katrina asked.
“Oh,” I looked at my feet as we walked toward the gate. The dirt path had blackened my peach-colored flats.
We paused for a moment on the sidewalk before I began walking east.
"Um, Anna. You're going the wrong way!"
"No we aren't."
"Yes you are. The drugstore is that way." She pointed toward the coast.
"Oh." I paused for a second, astonished. "I guess I got turned around."
"Yeah, you got turned around."
We came to the drugstore on the corner with a patch of beer ads in the window. I sauntered around the store and picked out generic-brand aspirin then stood in line behind an exceptionally tall woman.
"Katrina?" I turned around. "Let's go!"
"Anna?" Someone ringing up a six-pack of Coronas asked.
"Jesus Christ."
"It's funny, I thought I saw you yesterday." He stretched his neck to peer around the woman between us.
"Hi Jordan."
"What are you doing here?"
"Buying aspirin."
"I mean, what are you doing in Santa Barbara?"
"Um, it's a long story." At that moment Katrina walked towards the line carrying several opaque bottles and a notebook.
"What are those?" I looked at the labels. "Meditation oil? What do you need that for?"
"To meditate, stupid."
“Oh,” I placed the items on the conveyor belt. "Okay, whatever."
Jordan raised his eyebrows. "Hi Katrina."
"Why hello!"
"How are you?" He waited at the edge of the cash register.
"Finey-winey."
It was my turn to buy something. "Hey, could I get a pack of Camel Gold's please?"
"Can I see your I.D.?"
I showed her the passport I was using.
"Happy birthday," the cashier said monotonously as she dropped the aspirin, notebook and meditation oil into a paper bag.
"What? Oh yeah, thanks."
"But Anna! It’s not your birthday." Katrina said in her gravely voice. "Your birthday is October 7, 1990."
"It says here you're twenty-two and your name is Karen Beakers. Who's Anna?"
"You're not twenty-two, you're twenty. Why did she say it's your birthday?"
"My sister doesn't know what she's saying. She has a developmental disability and sometimes, she just says stuff," I explained. "That's me, it's my birthday."
"Umm, miss, I don't think I can sell you these. Sorry."
"C'mon. I have I.D."
She looked at the passport again and handed it back to me. "This actually doesn't look like you. Do you have another ID?"
I pinched my brows. “Yeah, kind of.” I took a yellow paper out of my wallet.
“What’s this?” she scoffed.
I cleared my throat. “That’s uh, my driver’s license.”
The cashier smiled subtly. “This is a temporary license.”
“Yeah. Does that work?”
The girl mulled over the paper in front of her. “No, it doesn’t have your picture on it.”
"I know, but I'm over eighteen, look at my birthday. On the paper."
"I don't know. You look kinda young. Sorry." She punched numbers into her computer before handing the paper back to me. "It's $14.76."
I snatched the paper from her and slid a credit card through the machine. "What the hell Katrina?" I said. I noticed Jordan had disappeared.
"Why did she say it's your birthday Anna? That's stupid. It's not your birthday."
"I know."
"But why did she say it's your birthday?"
"I don't know."
The sliding doors separated as we left the store. "Hey!" A voice called from behind, "Anna!"
I turned my head slowly. It was Jordan. "Hey, sorry about that. I heard about what happened with your license so uh, I got these for you." He handed me a pack of cigarettes.
I took them from his hand cautiously. "Thanks." I reached into my purse.
"Don’t worry,” he smirked. "So you never answered my question."
"What question?"
"Why you're here."
I opened my mouth to talk, but Katrina interrupted. “Will you please hide those aspirin from me dear?”
OVERDOSE
"Maleficent forced me to do drugs downstairs." Katrina told the three doctors, who said nothing at first.
The female doctor looked up from her clipboard. "Who's Maleficent?"
"Why, of course Maleficent is the evil antagonist of my life." Katrina smirked.
“What?”
“Ma-le-fi-cent,” she said slowly, as though it made a difference.
"Maleficent is a person?"
Katrina nodded and smiled giddily.
"What does she look like?"
Katrina let out a short sigh. "Um, she's 5 ft. 10 inches tall with pale green skin, narrow face, prominent chin, uh yellow eyes, horned headdress, black robe with bat wing-like edges, a diamond ring, staff with a glowing green orb--"
"Oh, from Sleeping Beauty?" The blonde man who was taking her blood pressure conjectured.
"Yes, of course!"
"And you see her?" The doctor asked.
"Yee-ass. That's what I just said, stupid."
The woman paused. "And she tells you to do things?"
"Yes. She tells evil things to me. Maleficent is formally our enemy."
"Is that why you tried to kill yourself?"
She growled loudly. "I don't know."
"Did she tell you to take those pills?"
"I don't know."
"Okay."
She sat on the bed table, staring at the "Signs of Depression" poster across from her. The sign claimed that people who sleep more than usual and lose interest in the things that once brought them joy might be depressed.
Katrina exhaled after her eyes read the last line on the poster. "Um well," she began. "I took fourteen Excedrin pills to help my depression and my period cramps."
"Do you often have menstrual cramps?" The doctor asked.
"Yes but well, it's personal." She giggled.
"Okay."
"I'm going to put this thermometer in your mouth." The other doctor told her.
"Ahhh!"
"Don't worry it doesn't hurt."
"Noooo!!!"
"She doesn't want you to take her temperature." The woman said. "She's afraid."
"Yes, I'm afraid."
The blond man put the thermometer on the tray beside him. It made a loud clanking noise against the metal that made Katrina jump. "It's okay. We can do these tests later."
The woman took a step toward her. "How do you feel?" She asked.
“I'm tired."
"Would you like to take a nap in the hospital bed? We can set you up downstairs."
"Yee-ass."
"Alright. Can you go fix a room for her, Kenneth?"
"Sure." He left the room cautiously, leaving the door slightly ajar. The other nurse followed behind him.
The female doctor smiled warmly at her again. "You can get dressed now, Katrina." She said, handing her a pair of faded hospital pajamas.
She stared at the pajamas with the seashell pattern. "Um, can you leave please?"
"I have to watch you at all times so you won't hurt yourself. But I won’t look. I’ll just fill out this paperwork while you put those on." She set the seashell-covered pajamas on the bed next to Katrina then walked back to her seat and scribbled something on her clipboard.
"What are you writing?"
"It's nothing, just that your blood pressure is normal and all," The doctor told her, smiling.
"Oh." Katrina paused. "Um, can you leave while I get dressed please?"
"I'm sorry, but I have to make sure you don't try to harm yourself again."
"But I don't wanna get dressed in front of you. I'm too shy."
"Don't worry, I won't look."
"Where is mom?"
"She's in the waiting room. Do you want someone to go get her?"
"Yee-ass."
The doctor opened the door and said something softly to a different male attendant. "She'll be here soon," she told Katrina.
"Okay, she'll be here soon," Katrina repeated, gazing at the jars of cotton swabs and hand towelettes above a metallic table. "Can I have a disposable wipe please?"
"Yeah, go ahead and take one." She continued to write on her clipboard. “Katrina, can I ask you a few questions?”
“Yee-ass.”
“Do you have any history of mental depression in your family?"
"Do I have history of mental depression?" She cleaned her nails with the towelette. "I don't know." She looked to the left and laughed.
"Heart disease? Any sexually transmitted diseases?"
"Sexual diseases?"
"Yes, any history of gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV/AIDS-"
"I think Ratigan has gonorrhea."
"Excuse me?"
"Ratigan, my lover who is an anthropomorphic mouse."
"What?"
"He has gonorrhea because he's a villain."
She flipped through her other chart. "I'll just wait to talk to your mom when she gets here."
"Okay. I think Ratigan has gonorrhea. He's evil."
Margot opened the door slowly. Her makeup was smudged and she was still in the grey sweatpants she had been wearing the day before. "Hi honey. How are you?"
"Fine.” Her eyes showed intensity. “Did you know Ratigan has gonorrhea?"
"Huh?" She looked at the doctor in the chair near the door.
The doctor stood up and whispered to her, "Is your daughter developmentally disabled in any way?"
"Yeah? Haven't you noticed?" She said monotonously.
"Oh, um okay,” the woman stammered. “I'm sorry. We weren't sure, it didn't say anything on her chart."
"Okay,” She let out a long sigh. “Can I bring her home now?”
The doctor was silent.
“I don’t think she meant to kill herself, right Katrina?” She tried to get her to make eye contact.
“Why did you take those pills, Katrina?” the doctor asked again.
“I don’t know,” she said melodically.
“Are you going to hurt yourself again?”
“I don’t know.”
Margot looked back at the doctor. “I think it’s best she stay here for a few more days.”
Margot glared at her indignantly. “No, this is a misunderstanding. She’s not suicidal. You see, we went to this funeral, and well she got some weird ideas. She’s confused about death. She doesn’t know what it means. She says ‘I don’t know’ to pretty much everything you ask her. ”
“She says she’s tired,” the doctor responded. “And we can’t send her home unless she says she won’t do it again.”
““But she might never give you a definite answer.”
The doctor looked at Katrina then back at her mother. “Do you have insurance?”
**********
From the window of the hotel room I could see the pool. I watched Katrina get out of the water and sit on the plastic blue and white lawn chairs. Her thighs sank into the crisscrossed pattern as she dried her hair. She started to yell maniacally at her doll.
A teenaged boy gaped at her from a few chairs away. Katrina had thick legs that she never shaved. She had inherited our mother’s broad Tunisian features and large hipbones.
She noticed the young boy watching her and she began to talk more demurely. She stood up and wrapped the hotel bathrobe around her, then sat back down. She laughed silently, then glanced back at him but he was prodding at something with his foot.
She grabbed Fiona and nestled her under her right breast, then walked toward the gate. He turned around to look at her again.
“He He!” She said to herself. “Bye now!”
She walked back toward the building and I went back to getting ready. A few minutes later she pounded violently on the door. “Anna!”
I pushed the door open then walked back to the bathroom to stand in front of the mirror. The heels I wore left tiny indentations in the carpet. “Hey Katrina,” I said finally.
“Hi dear.”
“I’m going out for a bit,” I told her while applying eyeliner. “I’m meeting a friend. You can stay here and order room service.”
“Where are you going?”
I paused. “Out.”
“Who are you meeting?”
“Jordan.”
“Oh I don’t know if you should meet him.”
“Why not?”
“Because he smells bad!” She said curiously, setting Fiona down on the bed. “When you come back?”
“I don’t know,” I said before walking back out to the main room. “A few hours.” I looked in the full-length mirror once again, smoothing out my dress, which rose up as I walked.
“Anna, I think you’re dress is too short.”
“No it’s not,” I took my black leather jacket off the hanger. “It’s fine.” I studied my reflection once more.
“Um, I just-“
“What?” I put my arms through the sleeves.
“Um, I think you might be raped.”
“I’ll be fine.” I walked back to the end table by her bed. She picked up the large leather bound binder and set it on the table in front of her.”
“Can Fiona order, too?” she asked gleefully.
“Sure.” I opened the door. “Bye!”
“Thank God,” she said emphatically as I left the room.