Contents

Copyright page

My beloved spoke, and said to me:

Introduction

What is a retreat anyway?

Why should I do a retreat?

What do I do?

Where should I go?

When should I go and how long should I stay?

Who and what do I take with me?

How do I prepare?

Sample schedule –long weekend

Sample daily schedule - longer retreat

Sample mini-retreat schedule

Some ideas for what to study

How to study

Copyright © 2018 by Paula Wiseman

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Paula Wiseman / Sage Words

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Unless otherwise noted Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Scripture quotations marked NAS are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1994 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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The Personal Worship Retreat Guide/ Paula Wiseman. -- 1st ed.

My beloved spoke, and said to me:

"Rise up, my love, my fair one,

And come away.

Song of Songs 2:10

Introduction

We live in a noisy world, a world that clamors for our attention, a world that drains our energy. It is increasingly difficult in the midst of all the distractions to find any quiet time.

More often than not, even quiet time becomes another energy-draining item on a neverending list.

A retreat can change all of that.

I took my first official retreat in 2008. I was wrestling with some deep spiritual issues, and not finding any satisfactory answers. My husband suggested I go away for a bit. So I did.

I didn't uncover all of the answers to all of my questions, but I did discover that God Himself, the Creator God of the universe was not only interested in me and my growth, but He invested Himself in it.

I have never been the same.

Over the years, I've done retreats alone with just my Bible, a few other books, and some questions. I've also done retreats with an intimate group of my closest friends. And I've done larger retreats with groups of teenagers. I've led them. I've co-led them. Most of the times, I've written the material.

I want to share some of the practical, logistical things I've learned in the hopes that you'll agree it is absolutely worth doing.

I'll present some ideas for how you can do a retreat on the cheap as well as some tips for doing a full-blown getaway.

No matter which options you try, getting out of your routine to focus on God alone and your relationship with Him is an investment you will never regret. It is an act of commitment, an act of love and an act of worship all in one.

What is a retreat anyway?

The dictionary defines retreat first as an act of withdrawing, and there are several military applications for retreat. They are all negative. That may be an oversimplification.

Beginning on May 27, 1940, over 300,000 British troops were evacuated from the beaches of Dunkirk and away from the Nazi army poised to destroy them. The retreat preserved the army and, by extension, the British homeland.

The next definition for retreat is a place of privacy or safety, a refuge. Since Franklin Roosevelt, every American president has made use of Camp David facilities in Maryland. It provides a place for the First Family to get away from the pressures of Washington and the constant press scrutiny.

The final definition of retreat is a period of withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study or instruction under a director. Now we're talking. This is what we envision when we think of a personal worship retreat. However, all of the elements from all of the definitions are present.

We are in the midst of a battle, and sometimes a withdrawal is the best course to ensure we can fight again. We need a place of privacy and safety, where we can be honest and vulnerable. And we certainly need to devote ourselves to prayer and study, to receive instruction and invest the time to process, to meditate on all those things.

You see why I called it an act of commitment, an act of love and an act of worship.

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A retreat is . . .

- An act

- A place

- A period of time

Which aspect of retreat caught your attention?

Why do all three aspects matter in planning your retreat?

Why should I do a retreat?

We typically don't have to sit down and reason out why we go on vacation. We don't usually need someone to prod us into spending time with our loved ones. We rarely ignore the chance to have a heart-to-heart talk with a close friend. But for some reason, the value, the need, to have some time alone with God escapes us.

We know Jesus made it a regular practice. We know He led His disciples to spend time away. Reading the Old Testament carefully, we can see the patriarchs, David, Daniel, and others spending time alone in God's presence.

Let's consider some reasons WHY a retreat is worthwhile (or even necessary).

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My husband . . .

Started us on the retreat path. He spent a couple of days camping at Lake Erie then came home and asked me to marry him. As our son hit his teen years, they retreated together. More camping. That probably explains why my husband and I have not retreated together.

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Renewal and repentance

A retreat is a perfect time to renew a stagnant relationship. With so many other things crushing in and vying for attention, it is easy for our spiritual life to take a backseat and our relationship with God gets stale. With some focused time away from the routine, we can get back to the foundations: His love for us, His saving grace, His empowering Spirit. It's also a time to take a serious look at why we drifted, examine where sin has gotten a foothold, and repent.

Answers and guidance

Life presents us with difficult decisions, and taking a few days for study can prayer can get our will in line with God's will and purposes. Maybe you have asked questions like these:

- Should I take this job?

- Are You calling me into ministry?

- Is this the person I should marry?

- How are we supposed to manage our finances now?

- What's the best way to deal with this co-worker?

- Is this even the right major?

- Is there any light at the end of the tunnel?

Spending some time with God, airing your questions and concerns, receiving the encouragement and guidance is priceless.

Revival and refreshing

Ministry burnout is unbelievably common. Even if you aren't "officially" in ministry, the stresses that come with day-to-day life can wear us down. That wearing impacts our relationship with God.

A retreat gives you the opportunity for a reset. It's a chance to refocus, to go back spiritually, to the place where your relationship was vibrant and growing. In some ways, it's like renewing your wedding vows. It is rediscovering the wonder and joy you have in Christ.

Preparation and wisdom

Esther secluded herself for three days of prayer and fasting before she went in to see King Ahasuerus. Jesus spent forty days in the wilderness before beginning His public ministry. In Galatians, Paul mentions his three years in the Arabian desert prior to his preaching and missionary work.

Jesus reminds us in John 15 that "without Me, you can do nothing." A retreat in preparation for a new ministry or any significant undertaking can reaffirm that we do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13) and not by might or power but by His Spirit (Zechariah 4:6).

Just because

You don't have to wait for one of these reasons or for a particular situation to come up before taking a retreat. Remember the chief purpose is spending time with and hearing from God. It's always a good time for that.

What do I do?

The point of a retreat is to get away from your routine in order to deepen your relationship with and to hear from God. Here are some things I recommend.

Study

This is the time to run those cross-references, to examine parallel passages, to look at the background, to go through your concordance.

There are a couple of different approaches when it comes to deciding what to study. You may have a question in mind. My husband took a retreat right before we got engaged. His question: is this the girl I should marry? On one of my first retreats, I'm not sure I could have formed a coherent question. I just knew something was off.

Other times, I went with a particular topic to study. I had some Scripture in mind to study in depth in order to come away with a deeper understanding.

Whatever your approach, expect to spend a good portion of time in God's word.

Pray

Ask those questions. Journal them. Pour them out with all the emotion behind them. This is the time to be transparent and honest before God.

Admit your fears and concerns.

Celebrate how far you've come, the things He has brought you through and the things you have learned.

Consider which of His attributes and names touch your heart and soul, and tell Him so.

Then be still. Be quiet in His presence.

Listen

Make sure your retreat has some unscheduled unstructured time just to be still and listen. Proper listening takes as much energy and focus as studying. It is during these times when I am trying to listen, I discover how easily distracted I really am.

Adopt an attitude like Samuel the prophet did when he received his commission and his first prophetic message.

And the LORD came and called as before, "Samuel! Samuel!" And Samuel replied, "Speak, your servant is listening." 1 Samuel 3:10

If you go on a retreat with a group, make sure you also take time to listen to each other. This is an opportunity to share not just concerns but testimonies of how God has spoken and acted in each life.

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Once on retreat. . .

God spoke in an amazing, albeit unexpected way. I bought a bracelet at a nearby shop to have a constant reminder of what I'd experienced. It promptly broke. So I bought another. I'm on my sixth bracelet now. The lesson has proved far more durable.

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Learn

Be prepared for new insights and understanding, not only about God but about yourself, about your identity, about your role in His kingdom. Keep your notebook or journal close to record them.

Rest

The Sabbath was a gift God gave His people. For a nation of former slaves who had never experienced rest from their labors, it was extravagant indeed. It's no less extravagant today. But the truth is, we think more clearly, we're more focused and we remember more when we are rested.

Take advantage of the opportunity to rest, to escape the tyranny of a schedule or even a clock.

Fast

A retreat can also give you the privacy to fast if you choose. Personally, I have not fasted, not because I think there is anything wrong with the practice. Quite the contrary. To be honest, I'm not sure I could do it with the proper heart and motives. Plus my blood sugar gets wonky at times. For those reasons, and speaking solely for myself, it would be a distraction. For others, fasting may be the perfect complement to their time away.

Sing (Or Listen)

Music can stir our emotions and speak to heart in ways words alone can't. It can prepare us to hear from the Holy Spirit and make us sensitive to His working. It can also help drive the things we learn deep into our memory.

Read

I have typically taken thought-provoking, challenging books with me on retreat. I can read in bigger chunks, with fewer distractions. It gives me the chance to process what I read and consider it in light of what I'm studying and praying about.

Worship

Praise God for who He is and for what He has done. Recall His past blessings. Recognize His present action. Anticipate His future involvement. The theologians say He is both transcendent (far beyond us) and immanent (near to us). Make a list during the retreat. This may be your most significant memento.

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But let him who glories glory in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I am the LORD, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight," says the LORD. Jeremiah 9:24

Where should I go?

A white sandy beach in Hawaii, of course. I'm pretty sure that's the most spiritual place there is. And I am more than willing to test that theory extensively.

Until then, you and I both know we don't live in a perfect world. Logistics can throw a huge monkey wrench into the retreat plans. Family obligations, job responsibilities, financial challenges and health concerns all factor in when you're trying to carve out some time to get away.

I've done personal retreats at the beach. (Old favorite) I've done small groups at nice hotels that we got a great rate for. (New favorite) But I've also slept in church basements, (not my favorite) and sat on my front porch (more favorite than I would have thought).

Wherever you go . . .

Make sure you feel comfortable and safe

The retreat may not accomplish much if you're at a hotel worrying about the couple arguing in the next room. Or if sirens are going all night. Or you hear Bigfoot crashing through the woods.

The same goes for terrible accommodations. Bedbugs, or moldy showers, or weird smells will completely distract you and make the retreat memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Minimize distractions

Don't turn on the television. Seriously. You can live without it.

Unplug as much as you practically can.

You don't have to be legalistic about it but avoid Facebook, and YouTube, and Pinterest, and games. Not only will you be more focused but you'll have a lot more time.

Location suggestions to make a retreat more doable.

Try one-day or half-day retreats

There is no rule for how long a retreat has to last. Admittedly, there's some advantage to taking several days, but that does NOT mean that you won't benefit from a quick retreat. A Friday evening, a Saturday afternoon, a Tuesday morning can all work, especially for a first retreat.

Consider a going to state or local park

There are plenty of great low-to-no cost spots to spend a day.

Camp

I have not camped. (Actually, I do not camp.) But I know people who love it. I married one, in fact. My husband has done a couple of camping-type retreats, and he has benefited from them.

Choose a library or coffee shop

Coffee shops can be busy, but for some people, they are the best place to get work done. Libraries often have study areas or even quiet meeting rooms you can commandeer.

Investigate other unique possibilities

There is a monastery not too far from where I live that has rooms available for private retreats. Your denomination may have facilities available for retreats or visiting missionaries. Housesitting while a friend is out of town can provide a change of scenery.

Reserve the worship center at your church

Depending on your church's size and activity level, your worship center can be a good spot for a half-day retreat. Plus, there is something special about meeting God privately in the place where you worship Him on Sundays.

The bottom line

If you want to do a retreat, if you value hearing from God, spending dedicated time with Him, you will find a way to do that. If it's not a priority, you will find an excuse.

When should I go and how long should I stay?

This is totally up to you. If you can go away, a week is great. It seems like it takes me a couple of days to get disconnected from everything else before I'm ready to connect with God. That said, the long weekend (Friday – Sunday) retreat has been much more doable. (I've one week-long retreat and a half-dozen or so shorter retreats.)

Schedule it in advance

Putting it on the calendar ensures the retreat becomes both a goal and a commitment. You would keep an appointment with your doctor or your supervisor, wouldn't you? Scheduling also gives you time to plan to be away, to make arrangements and to put back some money, if necessary.

About the weather

The time of year for your retreat doesn't matter. Much. If I were traveling a significant distance from home, I'd be less inclined to plan a retreat when the weather could interfere and force the cancellation of my plans. For instance, I probably wouldn't choose Chicago in January or Florida around Labor Day at the peak of hurricane season. But . . . on the flipside . . . follow God's leading. If He's leading you to a particular place at a particular time, He'll take care of the details.

Who and what do I take with me?

Or, should I/do I have to go alone? Some people look forward to being alone. That week-long beach retreat was by myself. My husband has done solo retreats.

Other people hate the idea of complete solitude. Being alone is stressful and unnerving. If that's you, then don't retreat alone.

However, if you do retreat with a group, even a small group, I highly, highly recommend building some time alone into your retreat plan. On the long weekend retreats I have led, Saturday morning is completely unscheduled. Everyone had her own room at the hotel, and we didn't get together until almost noon.

What to pack

- Your Bible (maybe more than one to have other translations)

- Your notebook and/or journal

- Your favorite pens

- Other books to read

- Music/headphones

- Snacks, drinks (unless you're fasting), bottled water

- Other essentials for a trip.

(You may want to stay in your pjs the whole time. That's up to you. One retreat, I'm pretty sure I packed more books than clothes.)

I am a Bible marker, so I pack these

What about things like a laptop, pager and cell phone?

If you are traveling alone, absolutely take your cell phone. Even when you get to your retreat location, there's no reason to be legalistic, but minimizing distractions is important. My retreat group is mostly moms with kids at home who are a little nervous about Mom being gone. We put the phones aside during the sessions, but check in regularly with everyone at home.

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Some tech is good

On a couple of retreats, we Skyped in another friend who wasn't able to make the trip. It wasn't exactly the same, but it was worth the effort. (Make sure you're on the hotel's WiFi and not your data plan.) The next year we tested Facebook Live and limited the viewership to just our group.

How do I prepare?

Logistically

Secure the dates and locations.

Mentally

If you have a particular topic or Scripture, begin pre-reading. A couple of weeks or even a month before you go, in your quiet times begin thinking about why you're going and what questions or issues are on your heart and mind.

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Smooth doesn't always mean what we expect.

Last retreat, for one of us, that meant a harrowing mechanical car problem halfway to the retreat location, finding a repair shop on the fly, leaving the car and grabbing a rental. Smooth is sometimes a relative term.

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Pray. Pray. Pray.

In anticipation.

Commit the time to God. Ask Him to smooth out the details, and prepare your heart and mind.

With expectation.

Expect to hear from God.

- to be challenged

- to be convicted

- to be reassured

- to be overwhelmed

- to be loved

- to be freed

- to be called

Expect any or all of those things to happen.

For transformation.

You cannot leave the presence of God without being changed. Offer yourself to God and allow Him to make those changes in you.

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And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2

Sample schedule –long weekend

This is the "schedule" that has evolved for the retreats I've led. The sessions are the Bible study and discussion we do as a group. Sometimes they are more teaching; sometimes they are more testimonial. Whatever works.

Friday

Travel

Dinner

Session 1

Saturday

Morning – free

Session 2

Lunch

Coffee

Sessions 3 and 4

Dinner

Sessions 5 and / or 6

Sunday

Breakfast/Recap

Travel home

Sample daily schedule - longer retreat

Early Morning Prayer

Breakfast

Study

Prayer

Study

Outside time – walking, biking, etc.

Lunch

Reading / relaxing

Study

Prayer

Outside time

Dinner

Study / reading

Prayer

Sample mini-retreat schedule

Prayer

Session 1

Reflection

(If time permits, add another session and reflection time. For a half-day retreat, two or three sessions is a good goal.)

Prayer

A good meal before or after the mini-retreat can highlight the celebration aspect of it. Notice I said "good" not necessarily elaborate or expensive. The point is to mentally separate this time from your routine.

Some ideas for what to study

The Beatitudes

Jesus's Parables

Women of the Old Testament

Women of the New Testament

Paul's sermons in Acts

Love and Marriage

The Psalms of Ascension

Selected Psalms of David

The Sermon on the Mount

The Upper Room Discourse

Ephesians

Jesus's I AM statements in the gospel of John

Nehemiah and dealing with discouragement and opposition

The Names of God

James

Esther

(If you want a really obscure one, try The Character of God in Isaiah 40 – 66. This was my first retreat study. I learned some amazing things about who God is, His greatness, how He loves, and how He loves me. Isaiah 43:1-3 remain some of my favorite verses.)

How to study

If you've read this far and decided that sure this sounds great, but you're not a Bible scholar or even a teacher, so this probably isn't for you after all . . . think again. Let me walk you through a sample study session. Let's say you've decided you want to study Psalms on your retreat, and you're looking at Psalm 23.

[Get comfortable, and pray first of all.]

"Lord, I'm not sure what I'm doing. I've never done anything like this, and honestly, it feels a little weird starting out. But I know You want me to learn and grow, and I know Your Holy Spirit is ready to teach me. Help me understand. Make things clear and plain. Amen."

Read Psalm 23:1

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. (NKJV)

[Okay, hold it right there. Remember junior high grammar?]

The verb is present tense. Is. The LORD is . . . Right now. Not used to be, not will be. He is right now.

My shepherd. A shepherd takes care of the sheep. Leads them where they need to go, and He keeps them out of places they shouldn't go. That totally makes sense.

I shall not want. Want what?

[Check the other version.]

The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need. (NLT)

So I won't be without anything I need. Is that true? Do I have what I need? What do I really need as opposed to what I want, or what I think I need?

[Write down a list.]

Lord, all these things are a gift from You. Help me be completely satisfied in You and not just in the things You give.

[Write that down too, so you remember it.]

[Now verse 2]

He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. (NKJV)

Lying down and still waters. That sounds relaxing. Lots of resting imagery.

He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. (NLT)

More peace and rest. Do I feel peace? Do I feel restful? Frankly no. So . . . this verse says God, my Shepherd leads me to peace and rest and if I don't feel that, maybe it's because I'm not letting Him lead, or I'm not following. Is that what's going on?

[Take some time here and consider this. Make notes if necessary. Are there things to confess or change? Be sure to note those as well.]

"God, I want to go where I want to go. I want to SAY You're my shepherd, but I don't want to be a sheep. You're showing me that's the main reason why I don't feel Your peace and rest. I need to follow. I need to rest in You. Help me do that. Thank You for giving me this retreat time to begin doing that."

[And verse 3]

He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. (NKJV)

He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. (NLT)

Now I feel like these are saying two different things. Restoring my soul is different from renewing my strength. They're both good, both important. Restoring is like taking something old and bringing it back to what it was. Like an antique or a car. I know people who do that. It takes a lot of work. It's a labor of love. They are really proud of the thing when they're done. They know it inside and out, too. They can show you all the places that required extra effort. Car guys will scour the internet looking for exactly the right part and anxiously wait until they can put it on the car. He restores my soul. Wow.

Renewing my strength. Renewing means to make new. Like when my kids are playing video games, and they hit a "power up" button. Instantly back to full power so they can keep going, keep playing. He renews my strength so I can keep going. This absolutely ties in to the rest and peace part earlier in the chapter.

And more following and leading. He chooses the paths that bring Him honor. If I want to honor Him . . . following the paths He leads me on is important.

I never thought about it exactly like that.

"Lord, I want to honor You. I do. Help me follow Your paths, follow where You lead. Thank you for restoring my soul and renewing my strength. But don't stop. I need it all the time."

Wait . . . could it be that He is leading me into rest and peace and I won't follow? Is that what He's saying? It's available to me, but I won't take it? Hmmm.

[Verse 4]

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

All right, is He leading me into the valley of the shadow of death? Or am I choosing to go there? No, He has to be leading. I don't think He would go with me if I was going somewhere He didn't want me to be. So why would He lead me to such a rotten place? Could He really blame me for not following Him?

But . . . He leads me places that bring Him honor. That's what the last verse said. How does He get honor? Oh, it's not by going IN, it's by going THROUGH! Through the valley. He gets honor because of what I've gone through because He goes with me. With a rod and a staff. All the weapons needed. That should comfort me. Whatever I go through, He has everything necessary to get me through, including His presence. He has to. His honor is at stake.

[Think about what God has brought you through. Write a list. Thank Him for each one. Now in view of that, what do You need Him to go through with you now? Ask Him to confirm His presence with you. Tell Him you want to be assured of His rod and staff and to feel that comfort.]

[Verse 5]

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. (NKJV)

The NLT says You prepare a feast for me. A feast is like for a holiday, like in celebration. So even in the middle of my enemies, I can celebrate. It doesn't matter what they think about me. That's easier said than done. I'm going to admit, I'm not sure I can do this. At least not yet. I suppose I can make a note about working on this after the retreat.

Anointing my head with oil. NLT says, You honor me by anointing my head with oil. If this is at the feast . . . God honors me in the presence of my enemies. He shows them in no uncertain terms that I belong to Him.

My cup runs over. It makes me think of verse 1 having all I need. Now I see that I have even more, more blessings than I can contain.

"Lord, thank you for Your blessings, for Your presence and Your provision. For taking care of me, restoring and renewing me, for leading me, going before me and even standing with me in when my enemies are around. Forgive me for not ever really thinking about this, not ever thanking You for it. You bless me in so many ways I never realized. You are good. It's like the next verse says."

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (NKJV)

With God as my shepherd, following Him . . . goodness and mercy, and dwelling in His house.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me . . . (NLT)

The NLT added Your to make it clear where the goodness comes from. Unfailing love. It does not fail. That is an amazing Shepherd. Jesus said He was the good shepherd. Where is that? Oh, John 10. I'm going to read that next.

Does it matter that one says follow and one says pursue? Pursuit takes focus. Like the restoration. Follow is less active, takes less thought. But . . . is that how I follow God? Is it mindless? I hope not. Or maybe it's more like, that's what I leave behind. Goodness and mercy become a legacy if I'm following God. And that honors Him. Even in the presence of my enemies.

Now to John 10. . .

That's a quick sample of what a session might be like. Notice it was just reading and thinking about the text. There were no outside sources. We didn't rely on anybody else.

Notice too, the connection between reading, considering what we read and then praying about it. Things began to connect. There were common threads that became apparent, and there was a gradual defining of some things that needed work.

Whatever you choose to study, the following questions can guide you as you consider the Scripture you read.

- Are there things to thank God for?

- Are there things you need to change? Things to stop doing or things to start doing?

- Are there words of encouragement you needed?

- Do the verses address a specific situation you're facing right now?

- What do the verses reveal about God? His character? His ways?

Notice too, there was one point where we honestly admitted we weren't ready to consider it yet. Think about the restoration. It's a process. God may begin something on retreat that He continues to work with you on for a long time. Make a note and be watching and listening for the next nudge.

May you be continually blown away by the things you learn!

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For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height--to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19